I'm at work, but I will give it a play when I get home tonight. Sounds fun!
Arc Name: The Magic of Longbow
ID: 128646
Faction: Villian
Creator: @SkitchNM
Length: 4 missions, short and mediums
Enemies: Custom (Longbow Mystics) and Circle of Thorns
Difficulty: The Longbow Mystics are elemental based so they can get a bit tricky, and you get a powerful ally for the last boss (ally help is optional). No elite bosses or archvillains.
Suggested Level: 40+
Estimated Playtime: About an hour
Description: A new branch of Longbows have emerged, all armed with magical powers. These Longbows will lead to massive death and destruction around the Islands unless someone stops them.
Cool beans, I will check yours out while having lunch :-)
Thanks 
Hey Big Bang Man I tried your arc and its pretty good. I think its a bit incoherent occasionally (robot contact for a magic arc, the CoT lady wasn't very CoT imo) but overall it was good and light hearted.
I would say the custom longbow powers could use a tune, they all had very controlling powersets where that wasnt always necessary. Their outfits were very bright :P
Also on the final mission, because I play on heroic the boss was a lieutenant, but the ally was an elite boss! Luckily I thought I would suss out the final boss first without releasing the demon, so I still had quite a challenging fight. :-)
Lastly I think you could add some colour to the contacts text, like blue for the title/subtitle and light green for an important line is always good imo.
Anyway, I enjoyed it!
Arc Name: Accidents and Emergencies
ID: 105110
Faction: Heroic
Creator: @Rhino Mikali
Mission 1:
Jimmy "The Mouth" Taylor is talking about his "brothers" - I think "associates" would be more appropriate unless they are his actual brothers. It may be called "The Family" but I don't think they call each other brothers. Some spelling errors in the clue.
Mission 2:
Nice design and info on the custom enemies. I don't think that the unrequired glowies scattered around the map adds anything to the mission. I would get rid of them. Or make one of them give me the clue about the body, since it would make more sense than giving me the clue after I defeat one of the bosses. Also, the clue about being ambushed seems unnecessary - the ambush made it clear that I had been ambushed, if all the Crey and other enemies didn't already give it away.
In the mission debriefing Watson says that "only a few people apart from you and me who even knew you were going to Vibe. All of them good cops" - except for the snitch from mission 1, of course.
Mission 3:
Watson provides the identity of the mole, some rookie away on a solo assignment. Rookies are allowed to go solo but Watson is forced to have a partner? Personally I'm more inclined to think that Watson is setting me up for some reason, perhaps because he hates heroes, but he promises that from now on he's going to help out and not let the loss of his former partner affect our relationship. This text has a missing word.
Mission 4:
There are some minor spelling errors in the introduction to this mission.
Listening to the npc chatter I'm starting to think that Vahzilok are back, more stylish than ever. I hope I'm not disappointed. Some of said chatter is incorrect: "of" instead of "have", for example. The custom boss has Unstoppable, which makes me think that this would be a rather hard fight for blasters, defenders and controllers - or impossible. It wasn't hard for my scrapper but it became rather dull. Oh, I found several glowies called Prototype - if something is a prototype, doesn't that usually mean that it is one of a kind?
The mission debriefing has some text errors: "atleast" instead of "at least", "Its" instead of "It's". It also says that "From the information you found, it looks like they are developing some kind of weapon" - but I haven't seen any information to draw this conclusion.
Mission 5:
Fallout The Bodyguard's info text describes him as a man, but she's got a female model. This might be intentional but it looks like a mistake. It also has Unstoppable which makes this yet another long and boring fight. Mr. Roberts' monologue is standard mad scientist megalomanic gibberish but one thing stands out: "You can't possible comprehend the magnificance of my work. It will rid the world of all disease!" - I think most people can comprehend it, actually. I'm not saying that this isn't something a misunderstood "genius" would say, just that it's silly. This is also the first time where the Atomic Ray weapon is mentioned in the arc, as far as I can remember
There is some unnecessary repetition in the mission debriefing, and Crey is suing me again for destroying one of their labs, again. It would make more sense if Crey denied any involvement in this mess whatsoever, but maybe that's implied.
Conclusion:
I liked this arc, it gets 4 stars.
It's just a shame that Mr Roberts didn't turn out to be a disciple of Vahzilok using that mad-man's old research to create atomic monsters in order to conquer death. The custom faction really looks and acts like an advanced form of Vahzilok, suitable for the levels where you face Crey.
Winner of Players' Choice Best Villainous Arc 2010: Fear and Loathing on Striga; ID #350522
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Hey Big Bang Man I tried your arc and its pretty good. I think its a bit incoherent occasionally (robot contact for a magic arc, the CoT lady wasn't very CoT imo) but overall it was good and light hearted.
I would say the custom longbow powers could use a tune, they all had very controlling powersets where that wasnt always necessary. Their outfits were very bright :P
Also on the final mission, because I play on heroic the boss was a lieutenant, but the ally was an elite boss! Luckily I thought I would suss out the final boss first without releasing the demon, so I still had quite a challenging fight. :-)
Lastly I think you could add some colour to the contacts text, like blue for the title/subtitle and light green for an important line is always good imo.
Anyway, I enjoyed it!
[/ QUOTE ]
Thanks for the advice Like I said, it was a first attempt
[ QUOTE ]
Arc Name: Accidents and Emergencies
ID: 105110
Faction: Heroic
Creator: @Rhino Mikali
Mission 1:
Jimmy "The Mouth" Taylor is talking about his "brothers" - I think "associates" would be more appropriate unless they are his actual brothers. It may be called "The Family" but I don't think they call each other brothers. Some spelling errors in the clue.
Mission 2:
Nice design and info on the custom enemies. I don't think that the unrequired glowies scattered around the map adds anything to the mission. I would get rid of them. Or make one of them give me the clue about the body, since it would make more sense than giving me the clue after I defeat one of the bosses. Also, the clue about being ambushed seems unnecessary - the ambush made it clear that I had been ambushed, if all the Crey and other enemies didn't already give it away.
In the mission debriefing Watson says that "only a few people apart from you and me who even knew you were going to Vibe. All of them good cops" - except for the snitch from mission 1, of course.
Mission 3:
Watson provides the identity of the mole, some rookie away on a solo assignment. Rookies are allowed to go solo but Watson is forced to have a partner? Personally I'm more inclined to think that Watson is setting me up for some reason, perhaps because he hates heroes, but he promises that from now on he's going to help out and not let the loss of his former partner affect our relationship. This text has a missing word.
Argh! CoH crashed, I'll have to finish this post later.
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I love this critique, because you are thinking of things I haven't considered. Let me try address them:
* Yeah I did mean brothers, kind of keeping it in the family, but I agree associate is probably better, especially as you never really meet them no point in making it sound strange at a glance.
*Just had another look at the clue zapped 2 errors. (He's, and Coincidence)
*There is a hidden clue on one of the glowiess, but perhaps there is too many non-needed glowies. I might reduce that a bit.
*Yeah the ambush clue is an old clue that I rewrote not long before publishing, I should have probably just got rid of it completely.
*Yes that is a loophole in the story which I didn't consider. Although Matron does say "everything the policeman has told us.." but speech text is notorious for being missed, I might put that in the clue instead.
*True I never really thought about that, unless I give West a partner who has no idea what is going on.
Thankyou a lot, im looking forward to the rest and also post what mission you want me to play ;-)
Big Bang it was very good, especially for a first attempt, I didn't realise that, so even better ;-)
Heh, I thought I had mentioned that. Apparently left that out of my cut and paste
And thanks again. Definitely will check yours out tonight...::sigh:: LONG DAY AT WORK 
Finished the critique. Feel free to play any of my arcs:
1152 "The Doctor Returns" (neutral, level 30+ recommended)
or
114284 "Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friends" (villainous, level 15-20)
Winner of Players' Choice Best Villainous Arc 2010: Fear and Loathing on Striga; ID #350522
Arc: The Doctor Returns
ID: 1152
Author: @FredrikSvanberg
First of all, I would like to say that "The Doctor Returns" is a very interesting story, and its very cleverly written in my view. It makes you think a lot. Then once you have the right idea it changes the rules a bit, which is why I love it!
The author pays good attention to detail and brings in a lot of CoH lore that already exsists. For those that don't know "The Doctor" is someone you meet on a 35-39 mission, who ends up being someone who lives in an aritficial world and speaks through the medium of a computer. The allies and enemies this person has during the canon mission, reappear in this MA arc. All this makes it feel like a "real" CoH mission with lots of tie ins to prexisting content, which I think is very good and probably what the author intended.
The missions are of good length and well designed, although I wasn't 100% sure about the sewer mission it didn't seem all that appropriate, despite reassurances from the story.
The author did make good use of the maps he did choose though, such as the office -> cave map to illustrate a backdoor entrance into a standard office mission which I thought was very good.
There were some very clever and well done aspects of this mission and it was obvious to me that time was taken to thoroughly explain everything so that it was all very believable. Although sometimes you don't need to fully explain something, I think the Ghost Widow's clue did perhaps go a bit overboard in that aspect.
At the end of the arc there is a very good plot twist in my opinion, its very well written and there are clues that something is going to happen so it doesn't take you off guard unless you arn't paying attention and just read the arc final dialogue. Personally I loved it and I especially loved the attention to detail which was constant throughout.
I rated it 5 stars.
Thanks for the review!
You know what? I'm not happy with Ghost Widow's presence in that mission. It seemed like a good udea when I made it, but the more I think about it, the less sense it makes. I'm probably going to replace her with someone else in the future.
Winner of Players' Choice Best Villainous Arc 2010: Fear and Loathing on Striga; ID #350522
Okay! Live feedback from a high 40's spine/regen scrapper (gotta get 50 arcs for Engineer):
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Pulling a Batman on the underworld is something you don't see enough of. The detective grates, but I'm sure that at least initially he has his reasons. (Wonder what he thinks about the Kheldians on the force. Or the Psicops.)
And Jimmy has no idea what my gender is. ($himher, $hisher, etc, are used for that.)
Nice spiel from him, could use a few more hard returns for pacing.
It's nice that the detective thinks the FBI is actually going to be able to do something. I've worked for FBI agents in much lower security bands.
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Ah, custom enemies... talking about a police tipster. I wonder if I've coincidentally met this person.
They seem to be the next generation of Vahzilok.
Ah, nice fakery with the boss objective. I was wondering where the bodybag got off to.
And the contact's sorry about the deathtrap. Alright...
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He names some new guy I've never heard of before, this cop who's grieving over losing a body just as I investigate a case about a radical group of surgeons. He says we should go arrest him immediately And he's coming along for backup. I... wonder. Okay, let's ride this train. The view from the window should be nice at least.
Hmm. Willpower. I may be taking less point than the detective suspects.
Crey patrol. Okay, they're just humoring the maniacs on the off chance they'll work. I can buy that.
Heh. Doctors with long striped scarves. Is that deliberate?
Ah, and it looks like they're planning on double-crossing each other.
A recording device! My goodness, do you mean nobody in the precinct is ratting on me of their own free will?
Hmm. Leading him out might get a little tedious, especially since nothing else seems to have spawned to liven it up. Can you just make him an ally who follows you around, maybe looking for the evidence to clear his name?
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And hoping that one lead will lead to another... juding by these reports it seems that it will, in the worst way possible.
...um, that's odd. I've gone all around this place but not found Patient X. Or a glowie that says "sorry, hero, your hideous medical monstrosity is in another castle". (the whereami calls it "tech_45_layout_03_01" if you were using a random map.)
Yeah, sorry, gonna have to bail on this one. Ran up and down it three times with the sound all the way up to listen for glowies.
Also I never knew tech labs were so loud.
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You want to give the contact text a bit of a work-over. Commas should separate related parts of the same idea that need a little breathing space; semicolons, if not periods, should separate ideas that can stand on their own. Do a pass for common confusions (its for it's, your for you're) and the like. They weren't everywhere, but they showed up, and the detective's dialogue felt a little stilted as a result.
Not going to give this a rating because it's not fair to stick the player with a system bug beyond their control to fix, but up until I had to bail it was a solid 4.
I don't really have an arc you can do for XP thanks to the hero Carnie bug, but if you'd like to take a look at "Dream Paper" in my sig that'd be nice, though I'd understand turning it down since I didn't get to the end.
Up with the overworld! Up with exploration! | Want a review of your arc?
My arcs: Dream Paper (ID: 1874) | Bricked Electronics (ID: 2180) | The Bravuran Jobs (ID: 5073) | Backwards Day (ID: 329000) | Operation Fair Trade (ID: 391172)
Hey thanks for the feedback, I will give it a good look over when I get back from Uni tonight.
The detective dialogue has been quite troublesome for me really.
No idea what happened for you on Mission 4, it is a tech map but I chose a linear map on purpose because I don't like the "lost in space" labs. Patient X has always been in the final room, perhaps you didn't look properly and presumed a bug too quickly? Again I have done this arc myself over 10 times and never had it fail. :-)
As for the noise, I will probably reduce the number of clues.
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Hey thanks for the feedback, I will give it a good look over when I get back from Uni tonight.
The detective dialogue has been quite troublesome for me really.
No idea what happened for you on Mission 4, it is a tech map but I chose a linear map on purpose because I don't like the "lost in space" labs. Patient X has always been in the final room, perhaps you didn't look properly and presumed a bug too quickly? Again I have done this arc myself over 10 times and never had it fail. :-)
As for the noise, I will probably reduce the number of clues.
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The last room was one of those giant central reactor affairs with a little side drop, yes? Ran circles around that thing and dipped down to the side as well. Nada. A Crey patrol had spawned in there, though. Do you have those set to random places? If so I may just have had bad luck for it to overwrite the boss fight.
Noise is more ambient noise from the map, as I was checking to see if there was a glowy about Patient X being removed to a different facility or something.
Up with the overworld! Up with exploration! | Want a review of your arc?
My arcs: Dream Paper (ID: 1874) | Bricked Electronics (ID: 2180) | The Bravuran Jobs (ID: 5073) | Backwards Day (ID: 329000) | Operation Fair Trade (ID: 391172)
Back from Uni, going to check it out Yes Patient X should definitly be there somewhere, you might be right about the Crey though they usually end up in the middle. How odd, these darn placement things!
Right I've made some changes and updated the arc, if you wish to play it again :-)
GlaziusF is there an arc you would like me to play?
Thankyou everyone for the feedback I have received so far, it has all been very helpful :-)
Det. Crimson Rice.
Background: Daughter of a former mutant supervillain and a master martial artist. People who have read my Ranma/Tenchi Fanfiction "Ryoko Saotome" and its mini-sequel "Ryoko Saotome: Those who forget the past" might recognize Sol-assigned Galaxy Police Officer Akane Saotome (daughter of Ranma and Ryoko, of course)
In any case: imagined response from Crimson to Watson
"Note...badge, there, on my chest....see, 'POLICE DEPARTMENT' you even get to stare at my breasts as you read it. Look, detective's badge. Note: Hero Liason. So get your eyes past the cat-tail and the fact I can float and realize that I...wear....blue!"
************************
Anyway, that'll be enough for that...
First mission was fairly, short and much closer range than Crimson is usually comfortable with. (She's geared for range and sniping.) But convenient, I only wish that there was an office building this short for doing houses.
The second mission...oh...my...goodness.....sniper's nightmare....too few places to go where nobody can reach me until the last room which is one of the fewer inside Sniper's Paradise's.
There is some sort of bug with the Special Agents, soon after the first time they fall on their backside behind one of Rice's bullets, they spend the rest of the fight locked in place.
Third mission luckily had some of my favorite sniper's galleries for warehouses....unfortunately, I lost track of Watson after the first fight (I'd hovered up to look left and right of a bridge) and he died....somewhere...before I could find him...
At this point I should mention that my 32 AR/En died numerous times in this arc and usually I do not have that problem with her.
I would suggest boosting your suggested level up to 35, 38 or even 40. The custom enemies are quite difficult for a solo squishy, though my range/fly-centric being stuck indoors might be part of that.
EXCELLENT story however. I like the custom enemies especially.
Unfortunately, I failed, so not sure on the ending.
As for my arc, given this story arc, you might like "Hunter of Beasts: It begins with a riot..." 110465 (for lvls 5-15) more than some of the other ones:
"The Aegis Affair" 16376 - The warriors are raiding museums, what are they looking for?
"A Rose's Thorns" 113224 - Crey got a hold of the WRONG DNA sample.
Thrythlind's Deviant Art Page
"Notice at the end, there: Arcanaville did the math and KICKED IT INTO EXISTENCE." - Ironik on the power of Arcanaville's math
[ QUOTE ]
Right I've made some changes and updated the arc, if you wish to play it again :-)
GlaziusF is there an arc you would like me to play?
Thankyou everyone for the feedback I have received so far, it has all been very helpful :-)
[/ QUOTE ]
"Dream Paper" would probably work the best for you. The other hero arc's been played a lot and the villain one would be impossible for you because of the Carnie bug (villain carnies start at 30, heroes at 40, so a hero fighting MA carnies is at 30 fighting 40s. Yeah no.)
Up with the overworld! Up with exploration! | Want a review of your arc?
My arcs: Dream Paper (ID: 1874) | Bricked Electronics (ID: 2180) | The Bravuran Jobs (ID: 5073) | Backwards Day (ID: 329000) | Operation Fair Trade (ID: 391172)
Thanks Lycenus for the reply!
I agree, I wish there was a "house" set which is the same size as the casino. The only alternative I've come up with is a CoV small office set and say it is a mansion.
I'm sorry you found them a bit difficult, I try to ease people into the group gently by including only a few on mission 2 and an ally on mission 3. Did you have the difficulty set higher then heroic? Still, I'm sorry about that I've tried hard to make sure they weren't too overpowered.
I will give your missions a go tonight when I am back from Uni, same for you Glazius ;-)
Again, Peace, I must say that my choice to bring a sniper into the mission was probably ill advised (especially given that I've been player scrapper and tanker a lot) and I am susceptible to the tendency to go from one defeat to another as my brain gets into the wrong frame of mind.
A lot of my deaths and retreats were due to poor flight management and situational awareness. Though I still think it was a bit hard for a 32 squishy throughout.
Thrythlind's Deviant Art Page
"Notice at the end, there: Arcanaville did the math and KICKED IT INTO EXISTENCE." - Ironik on the power of Arcanaville's math
Dream Paper (ID: 1874)
This is a well written arc, I didn't find any grammar or spelling mistakes so good job :-)
The story itself is pretty good and the missions are well well crafted with good use of dialogue.
I wasn't sure though why the lost would raid a homeless site for one of their papers, especially if the manager is the one behind it and asking a troll to deliver it for him? That bit didn't really make sense to me.
The Tsoo bit was interesting. I did feel personally that surely Grandma knew what she was taking and was happy with it, I did go with it. Infact when the Tsoo boss hinted there was more at work, it was quite disapointing that the story didn't follow that lead to figure out what he meant.
The troll paper boy (he was kinda cute, I liked his character) didn't seem too interested in helping sometimes, was he set to fight defencively? Probably best actually, I can imagine him dying on aggressive.
My one quip would be the final bosses power selection. I don't understand the selection. Surely Psi/Psi would fit better? There are a lot of psi powersets to choose from, including the blaster and dominator secondary. :-)
Overall I did enjoy the arc and rated it 4 stars. The actual quality of the dialogue was easily 5 stars though. Nice work!
I decided to do "The Aegis Affair"
It's in my level range, so seemed like a good choice. :-)
I'm going to try review more by mission, and type it while playing so I can give better feedback.
Mission 1
Starting text is good, it hints to something bigger. Curiously no use of title or subtitle though. You should definity think about including that. Also highlighting a key line of text is nice too I think, but I am a perfectionist!
"2 Display Case" - could probably jazz up this navi bar text. Also the ambush was a little tough I thought, but my difficulty wasn't on heroic for this.
I liked the fact they mention Odysseus, good tie in. However theres a lot of patrols so there was a lot of spam when going to the 2nd floor.
Custom Boss: Was his names the wrong way round? He was called Young Warrior from the faction of Perseus. Colour wise he looked a bit out of shade, perhaps make him darker green or something.
Mission 2:
Intro text seems very brief to me, I think you could offer more explanation here but maybe that is just me.
The nav bar could use some work, at the moment it looks like "1 Crate, 1 Book, 2 Desk, 1 Desks, 1 Laptop" Perhaps group it together as "# Clues to find" under plural. In my experience if you put "Clues to find" for every clue as plural, they will group together nicely.
Some of the action bars didn't have text on them. The clues are well written and start is getting quite interesting. I love mythology. I do think perhaps you could have a smaller warehouse with fewer clues however.
Mission 3:
First time I've played on the carnival map, its a great way of introducing the students I think.
The student nurse is called "nurses" I'm sure she should hahve a name or title. Navi bar txt again could use a lot of work.
"goth girls" and "popular girls" you should really capitilize thir names. Also I'm just wondering if you could use a normal civilion female and cycle through till you get the look you want. You chose the WSPDR reporter as your popular girl, but it comes with a dodgy tag. Just a thought.
** Couldn't play anymore, it's bank holiday weekend in the UK and I'm off to my mothers. I hope you don't find my review too critical, its meant to help you is all :-)
Played this arc (Accidents and Emergencies) today. I enjoyed it, and rated it **** .
Liked: The contact, the plot idea and nice way it dealt with the change in emotion from the contact, Failed Experiments (they were cool). The custom faction was also pretty cool. I also liked the contact in the mission, even though he was a total aggro grabber - he seemed like the kind of contact that would do that.
Disliked: Not a lot really.
So why not 5*'s?
1: The plot hole with "The Mouth" (eaisly get aroundable - have him say he's told no-one else, get the contact to say he's put him in custody until the investigation is over).
2: There was no wow moment, or big laugh, or something to really make the leap to the head of the pack. Not an easy thing to accomplish, and if you work out how - tell me
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I'd appreciate you (or anyone else) having a look at Entrusted with the Other Secret - Arc ID 120462. It's a time travel adventure, with a fairly epic plot (I hope). It does contain an EB but hopefully it's soloable. If you think you have worked out the plot by looking at the list of enemy factions, you are wrong - or have some fantastic powers of guesswork.
I'm especially wondering if mission 4 is too subtle, or too obvious and if the plot as a whole is followable.
Hey guys, I am trying to get some feedback on my latest arc and I thought this is probably the best way. If you post a review about it I will gladly post a review of yours. Even if its just a short review with a few helpful comments, I don't mind. Also if you come across any spelling mistakes please tell me, sometimes its easy to miss your own mistakes.
I don't mind reviewing short or long arcs, however I play as a Mind/Storm controller, currently level 24 so I would ask to keep Archvillains at a minimum unless I have something backing me up. :-) Basically I need to be able to solo it. Having said that I'm pretty good at the game, I'm use to soloing and Peacemoon has some decent enhancements.
Here is my arc's details:
Arc Name: Accidents and Emergencies
ID: 105110
Faction: Heroic
Creator: @Mikali Rhino
Length: 5 missions, each between short and medium.
Enemies: Family, Crey and Custom Group (Custom enemies are healthcare professionals mainly)
Difficulty: Custom group are medium difficulty. No elite bosses or archvillains.
Suggested Level: 30+
Estimated Playtime: About an hour, depends how involved in the clues you get.
Description: When an emergency alert comes through that Atlas Hospitals top consultant is in real danger, you are asked to help Paragon Police reveal who could be behind the threat. As your investigation deepens, you quickly realize the fate of many more lives could also be at stake.
With that said I am looking forward to receiving feedback, but also the oppertunity to play other peoples arcs. Hopefully it will be mutually beneficial. :-)