Exploiting the ability to get the extra arc slots on Test Server for free, I'm put up a new arc that I'd love some feedback on.
Arc ID: 225397
Arc Title: Of Futures Past
Morality: Villainous
Length: 5 Missions
Description: Cobalt Stinger needs an enterprising and reliable villain for a series of well paid jobs. Meet otherwordly people, travel through time and the multiverse, and discover some interesting things about your employer. Apply within today! [SFMA/HLMA] (This arc runs parallel to arc 3326.)
This arc is designed to run parallel to "The Portal Bandits" so expect to see a few familiar faces along the way. There is one EB in the first mission who is totally optional.
[u]Portal Bandits[u]
I found your mission to be thoroughly enjoyable!
Characters: I did this with my Super Strength/Stone Armor and Sonic/Kinetic Duo.
Rating:*****
Typos :
Mission One; intro dialogue:
In the red text there is a typo.
friends you can all upon.
Custom Critters:
Your Nagan Hegemony seems like a very balanced group. Except for purely personal aesthetic preferences (I hate the look of tech wings) they look great and I like how you tie their look in with the story.
Story:
I thought it was great. The whole We dont have it, and want to level the playing field regarding portal technology is something I could see the devs themselves doing.
Comments:[*][NPC] Vikki Vandale: Was I supposed to feel that?
Normally that would get a chuckle out of me, however I wasnt watching my powers close enough. I ran up to her and activated Knockout blow
just as my Rage dropped. So she said Was I supposed to feel that? while she went flying through the air and took 4 damage. That got me laughing in my chair![*]Naga Obscura hits you with his Shuriken for 1575.04 points of lethal damage.
Again I wasnt paying enough attention. I had Rock Armor on because the regular spawns didnt necessitate Granite Armor. So I ran towards her group at full speed and she one shot me with shuriken sending me sliding on the ground to beneath her feet.
[u]Of Futures Past [u]
I loved this mission!
Characters: I played through this Marc with my Perma Fire/Psi Dom.
Rating:*****
Typos :
Mission One; Intro Dialogue:
I've heard quite about you...
Custom Critters (Enemies):
A lot simpler/less exciting than the first MArc, though it fits the whole disposable minions part.
Custom Critters (Allies):
In the first mission the seven allies seem to be in defensive mode. As a dominator that controls the entire spawn before entering combat they just stood around doing nothing. I also took on Dr. Aeon. While I defeated him, his AoEs took most of the Nagans out when I tried to get them to help me fight him.
Mission Two:
This mission was just plain cool. I couldnt do anything to the Giant Monsters, but it was fun watching them trounce around Atlas Park destroying Rikti in the process!
Mission Three:
I for one love the setup of glowies. There was quite a few but I think theres enough there to help the storyline, while not to many that make it a drag to complete.
Story:
I dont know what it was about your storyline, but by the last mission I felt bad if Cobalts Mom even got hit. I think it had something to do with getting to know the characters so well. Heh
undergarments
Comments:
I think the arcs go well together, and all the funny comments from the Nagans in the first mission were hilarious!
The maps were also very nicely picked.
Favorite Hero: Computer (Empathy/Energy Blast Defender)
Favorite Villain: Gimp Computer (Fire Control/Psionic Assault Dominator)
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Portal Bandits
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Did you play it on live or on the test server? Not only is the test server one in a state of flux with the new additions I am testing out, it also has several new custom enemies that the live version lacks.
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friends you can all upon.
I've heard quite about you...
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To be honest I don't consider those to be much in the way of typos, they're more in the line of speech mannerisms. If I make all the grammar perfect it sounds too artificial, so I tend to just write the way I expect them to talk.
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In the first mission the seven allies seem to be in defensive mode. As a dominator that controls the entire spawn before entering combat they just stood around doing nothing.
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They have to be in defensive mode, an ally in aggressive mode is a recipe for wipes as they will have a much larger aggro range and tend to bring enemies onto you without warning. Also Ally AI is very buggy right now, even more so on Test.
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I couldnt do anything to the Giant Monsters, but it was fun watching them trounce around Atlas Park destroying Rikti in the process!
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That was the idea. Few things seem more post-apocalyptic than giant monsters wandering through the ruins of a downtown area like it is normal.
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I dont know what it was about your storyline, but by the last mission I felt bad if Cobalts Mom even got hit.
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Kind of odd as you're being paid to rescue a woman who dealt with a traitor by simply killing everyone rather than actually finding out who it was.
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Portal Bandits
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Did you play it on live or on the test server? Not only is the test server one in a state of flux with the new additions I am testing out, it also has several new custom enemies that the live version lacks.
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I played the version on Live Server.
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friends you can all upon.
I've heard quite about you...
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To be honest I don't consider those to be much in the way of typos, they're more in the line of speech mannerisms. If I make all the grammar perfect it sounds too artificial, so I tend to just write the way I expect them to talk.
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Ah, I understand.
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I dont know what it was about your storyline, but by the last mission I felt bad if Cobalts Mom even got hit.
[/ QUOTE ]Kind of odd as you're being paid to rescue a woman who dealt with a traitor by simply killing everyone rather than actually finding out who it was.
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Well I was on my villains... 
Favorite Hero: Computer (Empathy/Energy Blast Defender)
Favorite Villain: Gimp Computer (Fire Control/Psionic Assault Dominator)
Changes made to "The Amulet of J'gara":
* Added new minion, Render, to the Void Demons group.
* Modified the power selections on the Avatars in mission 5.
Changes made to "The Portal Bandits":
* Anna Nethema changed from EB to Boss.
* Vikki Vandale changed from EB to Boss.
* Iron Samurai changed from EB to Boss.
* Naga Obscura no longer has Build Up, Entropy Shield, or Divine Avalanche.
* Pvt. Collins in mission 3 now gives you a clue when rescued.
* Nagan Engineer is no longer a regular boss, instead has become a recurring special boss named Takala.
* New Boss: Nagan Phalanx (Broadsword/Shield).
* New Boss: Nagan Psionicist (Psionic Assault/Pain Domination).
* New Lieutenant: Nagan Gravitist (Gravity Control/Kinetics)
* New Minion: Nagan Radiologist (Radiation Blast/Radiation Emission).
* New Minion: Nagan Entropist (Ice Melee/Ice Assault).
* Too many custom power selections to list.
* Changed level range of all missions to 40 - 54. This was the original intended range for the arc.
Just a note, "MacGuffin Delivery Service" is currently bugged thanks to the entire damn Family group being bugged in MA. I found out tonight that apparently from 30 to 40 only Bosses spawn, leading to entire maps being empty as there are no LTs or Minions. Also found that when editing Groups, Family are missing from the list as well.
G'damn post-issue bugs, and right before a holiday weekend as well!
Edit: Just popped over to Test and the bug is not occurring there. Hopefully that patch will make it to Live real soon.
"MacGuffin Delivery Service" is still bugged for the first two missions until the next patch comes, but I made some changes anyway.
* Fixed missing animations on some bosses.
* Reduced Boss details to "Easy" size in places where they could cause a room to be much too crowded.
* Reduced some of the battles in mission 4 to "Easy" size.
* Removed the Inventory Computer from mission 4 and replaced the info it gives with a Mission Start Clue.
* The CoT map in mission 3 has a tendency to clog the first corridor junction with a double spawn. Fortunately there is a Front spawn there so I was able to stick in an Easy patrol that wanders away quickly and cuts down a lot on the crowding.
Changes made to "The Amulet of J'gara":
* Somehow one of the bookcases got it's location reset to "Any", causing it to sometimes appear outside the library. Fixed now.
Just finished Portal Bandits. Enjoyable custom faction, like a Longbow that doesn't make me want to pull my hair out.
QR
Weatherby_Goode - "Heck, Carrion Creepers negates the knockdown from Carrion Creepers."
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Just finished Portal Bandits. Enjoyable custom faction, like a Longbow that doesn't make me want to pull my hair out.
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That was the idea. Trying to be challenging without being cheap and aggravating.
I ran Portal Bandits.
The Nagans were really interesting. They kinda looked like the love child of a race of lizard people and members of the knives of artemis. I particularly liked them in Mission 3 since we got to see that unlike the Rikti, they have some personality rather then being blindly obediant cannon fodder. Also their outlook on Portal Corp, is fairly interesting and something that had never crossed my mind before.
Anna and Vicki were probably two of the coolest looking custom characters I've encountered in the MA. I liked Anna's backstory in her info, reminded me in a way of my own character President Evil's backstory. Vicki... is too cute to be called a troll.
This arc being filled with so many females just had the words "Girl Power!" going off in my head. Didn't really help that I ran it with Ultimo Girl.
I 5 starred it because I really enjoyed it. The story had me wondering why they were after the technology till the very end. Kept me on the edge of my seat wanting to know what was going to happen and that doesn't happen very often.
The Amulet of J'gara:
Played as a lvl 46 illusion/storm controller.
As you said earlier in the thread, it's a good thing when pretty much the only thing I can find to complain about is "our" mistyped as "out" in the first mission intro ("out members out").
It's interesting reading this thread and seeing how the arc has evolved - touches like the Tuatha saying they feel dishonourable in the first arc, the CoT commenting about studying the living armour later, etc. all non-essential but really do contribute to a well thought out and tied together storyline.
The progression of enemies in the fourth mission is excellent - a nice, "huh?" moment when you meet the first shadow form, and then additional info on the enemies after the reveal as you fight back out. Excellent use of a little used AE feature. If I'm going to be super picky having at least the first enemy having an empty enemy group tag (or ??? again) would just help - it does feel a little odd that my hero looked at it and went, "I have no idea what it is, never seen one before, but it's obviously a void demon..." I do acknowledge that creating an entirely seperate group just for that is probably overkill though :P
Difficulty was well judged to my mind, and I like the addition of mission text explaining you don't have to keep allies alive. 'Specially for Jeremiah :P
Good pacing - I like the short mission lengths as it keeps the story moving along and means you're always doing something different.
Gameplay: **** No complaints, but nothing amazingly clever, since the story was the focus.
Design: ***** Well laid out, good characters, excellent dialog and story.
Overall: *****
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Psychoti
"....so I headbutted the blind chick."
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[ cruise / casual-tempest.net / transference.org / xenogamous.com / wytedragon.net / quantam sufficit ]
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As you said earlier in the thread, it's a good thing when pretty much the only thing I can find to complain about is "our" mistyped as "out" in the first mission intro ("out members out").
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Now you know why I don't nitpick author's grammar much when doing reviews. Thanks for catching that one.
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The progression of enemies in the fourth mission is excellent - a nice, "huh?" moment when you meet the first shadow form, and then additional info on the enemies after the reveal as you fight back out. Excellent use of a little used AE feature. If I'm going to be super picky having at least the first enemy having an empty enemy group tag (or ??? again) would just help - it does feel a little odd that my hero looked at it and went, "I have no idea what it is, never seen one before, but it's obviously a void demon..." I do acknowledge that creating an entirely seperate group just for that is probably overkill though :P
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I haven't updated this much at all yet for issue 15, aside from adding in the little Renders. I'll keep that in mind as there is a feature to over-ride the group name in boss details now.
I played through your Portal Bandits arc.
I was on the fence about this one, and decided to give it 4 stars.
A few minor nitpiks that didn't really affect my rating: The electric armor Nagans were immune to my knockback, and additional mez protection is something that's usually not a good thing. The other thing was that Nikki was willpower and had heightened senses, and with her +perception, attacked me before I was ready. Again, these two things didn't really affect my rating, because they were used sparingly enough so they keep the player on their toes without overly frustrating them.
One thing about the intro: I didn't really get attached to the story. I like to have my character have a reason for being there, other than, "because I'm a hero." Because I can get the job done isn't good enough. Most heroes can get the job done, many are very capable. Just because the cannon does it all the time, isn't a justification to do it yourself. When this happens, I just feel like an outsider that's doing a job because someone asked me to.
Suggestion: Get me involved. Why select me? And if it's not possible, do something to make the character feel like they're part of the story, rather than just running the story.
What really prevented me from giving this arc a 5 star rating was the weak theme that gets dumped on you at the end. For the entire arc, you have no idea why they're stealing portal technology, no bits and pieces of reason along the way, just the big reveal at the end that gets dropped in your lap. The arc doesn't give any reasons as to why Obscura wants to distribute Portal technology to the masses, just that everyone should have them "just because". And you could say that Obscura is being a serious Robin Hood hypocrite by not sharing her FTL travel with the factions presented in this arc.
The dialogue was well written, the custom group was a fun and not a frustrating challenge, and the story feels like it could be really exceptional if it explored Obscura's reasoning more and really developed her backstory over the course of the arc.
Right now, it feels like Just a Bunch of Stuff Happened.
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The electric armor Nagans were immune to my knockback, and additional mez protection is something that's usually not a good thing.
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Working as intended. The group is designed to have some diversity in the attacks and defenses. Two critters who can slightly resist Knockback and Immobilize avoids control types simply going "ha ha, you can't melee me!"
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Nikki was willpower and had heightened senses, and with her +perception, attacked me before I was ready.
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Vikki has it because she is a Boss and not only is Heightened Senses a standard power (custom can only add powers to what Standard gives, not take them away) but without it she'd be very vulnerable to Fire, Cold, Energy, and Negative Energy damage. She only has Fast Healing for Regen as well.
Regardless, it does give something new for the player as the boss is not simply going to stand around waiting to be pulled and that is why there is still a big bright red warning when you receive the mission despite her only being a boss.
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Suggestion: Get me involved. Why select me?
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I don't know your backstory. It's up to you to fill in why you've been called for specifically. Remember, Iron Samurai didn't call just any hero for backup. He called you! If I tried to write the player's motivation for them then I'd get an entirely new set of complaints.
Yes, I know that the plot needs work. Unfortunately I'm at a bit of writers block and people only tell me "needs work" but never give any actual suggestions as to what could improve it. I wish the Devs would get the damn purchasable slots working already so I could publish the villain arc that runs parallel to this one and fills in a number of those missing details.
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Right now, it feels like Just a Bunch of Stuff Happened.
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Didn't Venture trademark that line by now?
I haven't read the other comments so perhaps the things I am about to say have already been addressed.
Good use of color in the clues. It highlighted the name of an important new character very well. I also liked the way you used color for the objectives of freeing the Avatars in the final mission.
The dialog was solid and well-written. That said, I would like to have seen custom backstories for the Midnighters.
The living armor was a great addition! I don't know if it's your custom character or a stock Midnigther, but it worked well. Is there any way to set it to an initial position of something other than cowering? That seems very unlike a suit of armor.
Mindskewer's backstory was short, but suggested interesting plot/character developments. That, along with noticing Percy's strange appearance and the pop-up for the Bookstore mission created a nice sense of foreboding.
The void demons looked very cool (especially for such an ostensibly simple design) and I liked that the clue mentioned how it "faded into the shadows once defeated." I would only suggest giving it a real name, rather than just "???." I get that it's mysterious and that I don't know what it is, but there's all sorts of weird things in this game and they get names. I think you ought to call it something descriptive, but not so particular as to imply that it is a formal name ("Shadowy Figure" for example). I see that you ascribe names to them once Nomaris gives his clue and that makes it a little better. Still, I don't care for the question mark names.
"Pain has a face, allow me to show it to you. . . . Such sweet pain." These were good, chilling lines.
In the bookstore mission, I wasn't quite sure what to do when the nav window said "Escape!" I spent a lot of time trying to make sure the hostage was following me, only to find that "escaping" meant defeating the void demons. Perhaps say "Defeat void demons to escape."
In the "A Demon of Darkness" clue, consider replacing the word "shape" with a synonym somewhere so you don't repeat "shape."
Especially nice choice of maps for the final mission. The Avatars look good and a clue for each one is always welcome.
All in all, I was delighted with it. It starts off slow (but then, I suspect that's true for pretty much every arc) but after the Midnighter Club mission I found myself eager to find out what happened next.
Five stars, according to the rating criteria that you've described.
Naphil, 50 Peacebringer
Captain Darkspirit, 50 Warshade
Operative Acier, 50 Bane Spider
Durante Ragno, 50 Fortunata
et al.
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Yes, I know that the plot needs work. Unfortunately I'm at a bit of writers block and people only tell me "needs work" but never give any actual suggestions as to what could improve it.
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What would really make this an excellent story for me, is if I got to know Obscura better, really got to know her motivations. When I say I want to know her backstory, I want to know her story, not just the Nagan in general. Why does she want to be a Robin Hood?
You also said yourself that you dislike stories that are part of a series that don't stand on their own, so making a villain arc to parallel your current arc shouldn't be required to understand Obscura's motives, it should enhance an already solid plot.
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I would like to have seen custom backstories for the Midnighters.
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I do hear this one time to time, but not sure if I will ever follow up on it. Just coming up with names for characters that I didn't design to begin with was hard enough. Those are just generic Midnighters. Even the names of the Agony Mages are pulled from ParagonWiki as they are used in other arcs and in paper/scanner missions.
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The living armor was a great addition! I don't know if it's your custom character or a stock Midnigther, but it worked well. Is there any way to set it to an initial position of something other than cowering? That seems very unlike a suit of armor.
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I take it that you never played Darren Wade's villainside arc, you'd be rather familiar with the Living Armors then. Unfortunately issue 15 reset a lot of animations to Default for some reason and I haven't had to chance to scrutinize all my arcs and find every instance that has been changed.
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Mindskewer's backstory was short, but suggested interesting plot/character developments.
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Some things are just meant to remain mysterious. Perhaps in a future arc...
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"Pain has a face, allow me to show it to you. . . . Such sweet pain." These were good, chilling lines.
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I'm surprised that no one has brought up yet where some of them were quoted from. I thought it'd be a rather obvious shout out, but they seemed so appropriate.
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In the bookstore mission, I wasn't quite sure what to do when the nav window said "Escape!" I spent a lot of time trying to make sure the hostage was following me, only to find that "escaping" meant defeating the void demons. Perhaps say "Defeat void demons to escape."
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I had this issue before in MacGuffin Delivery Service. Most people seemed to figure out what I intended right away but there is someone who didn't. I wish there was a "Return to Entrance" objective that some CoV missions use but for now I have to jury-rig it. I'll try to make it more clear that you need to get back to the front and defeat the Pain Elemental at the door.
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It starts off slow (but then, I suspect that's true for pretty much every arc) but after the Midnighter Club mission I found myself eager to find out what happened next.
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Yeah, I wanted it to feel rather routine at the start before things turn out to be much more serious.
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Yes, I know that the plot needs work. Unfortunately I'm at a bit of writers block and people only tell me "needs work" but never give any actual suggestions as to what could improve it.
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What would really make this an excellent story for me, is if I got to know Obscura better, really got to know her motivations. When I say I want to know her backstory, I want to know her story, not just the Nagan in general. Why does she want to be a Robin Hood?
You also said yourself that you dislike stories that are part of a series that don't stand on their own, so making a villain arc to parallel your current arc shouldn't be required to understand Obscura's motives, it should enhance an already solid plot.
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Actually the other, yet to be published arc, has little to do with her, it's more about what the unseen character Cobalt Stinger is up to during this entire event and why she was helping them, much to Anna's chagrin.
I'll have to see what I can do in this one. Hard to fit much more in when at 99% of the filespace.
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Actually the other, yet to be published arc, has little to do with her, it's more about what the unseen character Cobalt Stinger is up to during this entire event and why she was helping them, much to Anna's chagrin.
I'll have to see what I can do in this one. Hard to fit much more in when at 99% of the filespace.
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I totally get what you're talking about. the 100k limit is tough to deal with at times.
And yeah, I'd love to see more about Cobalt Stinger in your next arc. My story has a sort of similar secondary villain that will hopefully get more screen time and devotion in my next story, whenever I get around to it.
Tried to correct some of the issues brought up with "The Amulet of J'gara." Mostly dialog and briefing/debriefing changes to make the plot flow a bit smoother.
I just ran "MacGuffin Delivery Service". Villainous arc, but I ran it with my main, a 50 inv/ss tanker.
I always enjoy seeing a unique way to narrate the story, and this one has it: you're sitting at your desk, ruminating over the adventure that you just undertook. So basically, you're playing through your memory of the events. This is a tricky device, as you almost have to tell the character what he or she is feeling at any given time, but the author pulls it off very well.
Another always welcome feature is to see different villain groups. The final mish features Tsoo, Freakshow, Carnies, Council, and PPD (apologies to any villains I neglected to mention) in a free-for-all, through which you have to fight to get to the objective.
The writing and dialogue are done well, with humor that draws from the admittedly bizarre circumstances of the story.
The only issue I noticed was that the nav text for the penultimate mission said I had 6 books to find, but after just the second one, the mish completed. Not that it was a problem, it's a big map and I was trying to ghost it (as well as one can without a stealth power, which means flying like hell until I hear a glowie. Speaking of which, the 'extra' glowies in this mish were rather irritating. When I heard one I stopped and fought the baddies only to discover it wasn't a bookcase I heard. But that's just a hazard inherent in the way I was trying to complete the mish, not a design flaw.)
One of the most interesting arcs I've played so far. 5 stars.
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The only issue I noticed was that the nav text for the penultimate mission said I had 6 books to find, but after just the second one, the mish completed. Not that it was a problem, it's a big map and I was trying to ghost it (as well as one can without a stealth power, which means flying like hell until I hear a glowie. Speaking of which, the 'extra' glowies in this mish were rather irritating. When I heard one I stopped and fought the baddies only to discover it wasn't a bookcase I heard. But that's just a hazard inherent in the way I was trying to complete the mish, not a design flaw.)
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That's why the mission intro pop-up tells you about the books being in the library at the end of the map (either passage goes there, it's the same distance either way). Also only 1 bookcase has the book you need, the "6 Books to Read" thing is there for people who didn't find it first try and are wondering if there is another to look for.
I'm sure there are members of the tl;dr crowd who find that mission annoying, but screw them. It's a story arc after all.
Anyhow, updates made today to "The Portal Bandits":
* Added Mission Start Clue "Dossier: Naga Obscura" to mission 2.
* Removed Superadine Lab from mission 3, needed the space elsewhere.
* Removed the Vanguard vs Rikti battle from mission 4. It was originally there to force the arc into levels 35 to 50 and had little story relevance. It's not needed anymore and the briefing has been adjusted to reflect it's absence. Also I needed the space.
* Totally redid the clue that Naga gives upon defeat in mission 4. The original justifications she gave did not work well so I changed them entirely. The new clue is much longer as well.
* Redid the arc souvenir to reflect the new clue that Naga gives.
W00t! Finally able to purchase more slots and publish my new arc. This is the one that runs parallel to "The Portal Bandits."
Arc ID: 254599
Arc Title: Of Futures Past
Morality: Villainous
Length: 5 Missions
Level Range: 40 to 54
Description: Cobalt Stinger needs an enterprising and reliable villain for a series of well paid jobs. Meet otherwordly people, travel through time and the multiverse, and discover some interesting things about your employer. Apply within today!
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I hate the AE textboxes, they are so damn buggy that I'm writing all my stuff in notepad now. I found the typos you pointed out and fixed them.
[/ QUOTE ]That's what I've been doing, too. It looked like it was one of those annoying cut/paste errors that places your pasted text somewhere other than where you intended it to go. I really hope they'll do something about the NON-functionality of the text editing system in MA. It's driving me nuckin' futz!
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Especially errors like the one you found, it's likely the kind that doesn't show up during editing but only after republishing. Of course being 3 missions into the arc and when you're the author who's read this a thousand times you just start missing these things more often until a fresh pair of eyes picks them up.