My Beautiful Misery

Mr_Grey · 03-21-2009 07:11 PM

I wake up and my brains playing tricks on me again. Everything looks as it should be. My red alarm clock shines green numbers at me from atop the brown nightstand. Im two minutes before the alarm. Maybe thats why Im seeing the world like this. I count

One

Theres a flash like someone taking a picture, otherwise the image doesnt change.

Two

The clock changes numbers. I was actually only a minute and a couple seconds from the alarm. I breathe a sigh and wonder idly how the rest of the day is going to turn out.

Six

Theres another flicker in my vision and I cant tell the difference between the colors of the clock and the numbers. They look exactly the same now, a light gray. This is how it always begins. This is what always happens when my vision starts to go. I keep counting anyway, but I already know how the rest of it goes.

After twelve seconds, the nightstand is the same color as my bed, which is the same color as the wall which is the same color as the clock and its numbers. Its all gray and I remember that people liken it to viewing the world through a security camera. I sigh again. The periods of color are getting briefer and briefer. Ill be happy when theyre gone. Im sick of the lie.

People have a strange misconception of the French. They think were all a bunch of pompous twits who are obsessed with art, smoking, looking down our noses at others The stereotypes go on, and many dont paint a good portrait of my countrymen.

Good thing life doesnt use stereotypes as a brush. Of course, maybe if it had, I wouldnt have had the trouble with my father as I did. I wouldnt have this problem with my head.

I rub the back of my head and feel the bump where the scar is. I wasnt very wealthy growing up. My father was a carpenter and a drunk. Sometimes he was both at the same time. Its why he kept losing his jobs, but dont try telling him that. I did and he threw me across the room. He was a tough man when he was beating up his kid.

Sometimes I wish mom were there, but then Id have been dealing with a whole new set of problems on top of the beatings. Something hurt her and she never got a chance to deal with it properly. When I was seven, dad had her committed. To this day, I have no idea what it was that drove her mad, but I dont believe dad when he said it started when she gave birth to me. The one photograph I have of her in better times tells me the truth of that at least.

I gaze at her soft smile behind the glass on the frame resting on my dresser. I rarely think about her, but when I do I always cry. She looks like shes ready to take on the world as she holds an infant me in her arms. I cry because I never got to know the woman in the picture. I met a hollow shell that I suspect had the life drained out of it by the monster I was forced to call father.

I throw my clothes on and sigh. Its another day of stares, whispers, glowers and veiled insults. I wonder why I even bother anymore. What was I thinking when she asked this of me? Why did I say Yes?

I think I expected to be able to get her in bed. Its crude, I know, but Im a crude man. I may be an art aficionado, but Im still a man. I dont know when I realized it was an impossibility and turned my attention to the equally impossible prospects in the rest of the group, in turn losing interest in those pursuits because they gave me just as cold a shoulder.

Why did she even invite me?

After eating a quick bagel for my breakfast, I walked out my door and looked to my neighbor to my left as a warm presence brushed against my mind. I dont know why Ks mind is warm to me Maybe hes just one of the few uncomplicated, genuinely good people in my life. The guy spends his time subduing physical embodiments of the worst things in human nature After dealing with things like that, I suppose he would look at people like me as perfectly fine. Hes the only one I never catch flashes of contempt from. Hes a good friend and I don't think he even knows what that means to me.

You know Jess is gonna give you Hell for not being in uniform, right? he grunts and I catch a wave of humor radiating from his mind.

Its not like she lets me go on patrol, I reply calmly, Hell, I dont even get to leave the building. At least you could leave if you want to.

Yeah, the big man chuckled and started walking down the hall, But theres hardly anything out there!

Walking past his room, I understand what he means. Valeries mind races as she struggles to get her armor on and comb her hair out at the same time. If Jessica knew where shed been spending the past few nights, shed probably sprout some gray hairs. For what has to be the thousandth time in just the past week, I thank whatever gods are watching over my life that Freedom Corps lined my room with lead. Still, it didnt stop me from hearing her and Ks enthusiastic merrymaking as they slammed the bed against the wall. Id still rather not know what was going on in their heads, even if I could imagine it.

We make our way to the meeting room and are, of course, the first three people there. As a joke, I ask Val how early she woke up to show up a half hour early. She blushes and I have a brief image in my head of what she and K were doing last night. Its strange getting a memory of the feeling of lovemaking from the point of view of a woman. They dont feel it the same way guys do, and its hard for my brain to interpret. The whole flash of memory revolts me a little and the two of us blush at the same time. She knows I can sense the images in her mind I think she likes to be as vivid in her memory as she can so it will mess with me even more.

Perhaps I should make some kind of lead-lined hat.

The rest of the group starts to filter in and we take our positions. Like K said, Jessica starts by reprimanding me for my clothing. I ask her if shes going to let me go and patrol, and she reminds me that the last time they did that, I had to be rescued from the Rogue Isles. She knows the reports of what everybody thinks I was doing out there, but they dont know. I cant let anybody know.

They might try to stop me.

I feel a presence brush against my mind. It had to be Lena. Scott feels too much like Like her, even when she tries to mask what shes doing. Theyre always monitoring me, waiting for me to slip up, checking for signs of the madness.

I wont slip up, though. Theyll never know why, even though its the simplest thing in the world. I could tell them, shout it at them, hammer it into their thick skulls, but they wont believe me. For people who are psychic and are supposed to believe that anyone can change, theyre remarkably closed-minded.

The meeting went on as normal. Jessica played the role of her predecessor well. She often worried she wasnt being professional enough, or that she wasnt getting the point across properly With me, she often wondered if shed made a mistake.

We used to be friends.

Of course, then, she was vouching for me. I used to think I was doing the right thing. I used to think I was okay.

Then Scotts husband got a group of heroes to bring her back and I lost her for a moment. If only people knew what that moment felt like. She warned me She tried to prepare me for what was going to happen I told her I would be okay.

How wrong I was. When the link broke, I was lost somewhere dark inside my head. My father was before me again. I ran away, I knew to run away, but I also knew I wouldnt (couldnt) get away. In the next room, he was there. He was faceless, but it was him. A maw with sharp teeth split the fleshy orb that was his bald head into a wicked grin and he started chasing me.

I tore up the stairs to my childhood bedroom and tried the windows. I wrenched at the frame as hard as I could, but they budged little. Dark tendrils started reaching in to get me and I fled in terror. My faceless father tried to get in my way, but I barreled him aside and raced down into the basement.

He found me there and we fought. I was the adult I had grown to be but he was still beating the crap out of me. He threw me throughout the basement, smashed me against the shelves, broke my ribs with a baseball bat. He was all set to bring the bat crashing down on my skull when everything faded away and I was looking up through one clear eye at the group of heroes and heroines who had stopped me from hurting my fellow heroes.

Malaise! Jessica shouts, dragging me out of my reverie, I want you to go with Mynx and Valkyrie to deliver the reports from todays meeting.

Is this just to get me in uniform? I ask, already knowing the answer without reading her mind.

Yes, she snorts back, Get suited up!

I wonder how she would react if I told her Ive seen the fantasies she has about that friend of hers. I wonder how hed react if he ever found out.

My Stories

Look at that. A full-grown woman pulling off pigtails. Her crazy is off the charts.

BlueBattler · 03-21-2009 07:34 PM

Very nice, Mr. G.

I think that Infernal's speech patterns should be a little more formal, but it's a great start to a promising story.

My COX Fanfiction:

Blue's Assembled Story Links

Paradigm_Shift · 03-21-2009 07:59 PM

Beautiful.

DeviousMe · 03-21-2009 08:22 PM

Nice.

Oh, and I turned the brothers onto this. They like it even more and ask for 'swiftly moar'.

"If I had Force powers, vacuum or not my cape/clothes/hair would always be blowing in the Dramatic Wind." - Tenzhi

Characters

Mr_Grey · 03-22-2009 12:23 AM

Mynx. After realizing Libby would never want me (took me about a day; I'm not as much the lovesick fool I make myself out to be), I turned to Katherine. I dont know why, perhaps its because she always gave our fearless leader a hard time. It was always in fun, but still

I just realized I didnt think of Libby as our fearless leader, but as a genuine article Interesting

Anyway, I never told Katherine how I felt. I cant be sure, at the time I didnt have my mind as open as it is now, but at the time I think she might have been revolted with me. I'd just been hauled out of the sewers, another battered, broken monster, and Jessica (probably at Psyche's request) snatched my butt up.

Unbidden, the question forms in my head again: "Why am I still doing this?"

No answers form. I have no connection to any of these people. I want to, but...

We arrive at the Freedom Phalanx building in Galaxy City and the Brawler waves at us. I feel a bit of concern brush over me and I try to smile back to reassure the big man. Its hard to deal with the older heroes They look at all of us like were children, no matter what weve been through. Its enough to make me feel-

Jean-Pierre!

There was a time when Shalices voice would make my heart melt and I felt like I was wrapped in warm clouds. I still feel a slight twinge of similar sensations, but it's all muted, now. She was a mother when I needed one and more. She drove the monsters away, she showed me how to be a better person

Some thought, after she was restored to her body, that she abandoned me. I know the truth. She knows the truth. She felt that after I had the sense knocked back into me I should be able to handle myself from here on out. Obviously others disagree. Sometimes, I wonder if I do, too.

Hello, Psyche, I think back, Oh, Im sorry

I usually think of her as Shalice. If I call her Psyche, she knows I'm bothered by something.

Heh, she laughs back, Well, at least youre not calling me Sister Psycho.

My vocal sin in Talos Island remembered...

So, you heard about that, huh? Sorry... Libby was giving me a hard time, and I was losing my cool, it was my first patrol in a long time

I understand you were stressed and that youre afraid if you dont vent youll wind up losing your head again. You need to understand, however, that there are proper ways to deal with your stress, and lashing out at the people trying to help you is an improper way to go about it. Besides, if you just lash out at people and dont tell them whats going on with you, they cant help and think youre Well

I thought on that for a moment. She was right, I knew it, but it was always hard to remember in the moment of intense emotion like a battle or argument.

Are you still taking your medication?

The stuff only gave me headaches, I almost hissed as I projected back my answer, I figured it would be better if I stopped using it. I havent had any episodes, at least.

Oh Have you been speaking with your doctor?

Yes.

Actually, its been a battery of doctors. There have been multiple psychologists reviewing my casefile because Freedom Corps doesnt want me influencing any of them or manipulating them. At first I was irritated about it, that so many people got to know what was wrong with me. After a while, though, I got sad. I only knew them for an hour or so a day and never spoke to them again. I never even got to know who any of them were. I couldn't remember their names.

I knew nothing was wrong with them, that I wasnt in some sort of fugue, tormenting their minds, because I saw them every so often going about their normal business. Some of them looked at me sadly, and I could sense their desire to help, but they were barred by orders from doing so. Maybe it was sensing that desire that helped me warm up to the new ones. They wouldnt be able to continue working with me, but they were doing the best they could with the brief time we had.

Ive been making progress, is all I can finally get back to her before we open the doors to Statesmans briefing room.

The whole Phalanx isnt always here. Statesman sends incursions to the Etoile Isles every couple of days, Manticore stages impromptu investigations of Crey (when hes not orchestrating crazy gambits, anyway), and so on. Today, Citadel, Positron, Manticore and Psyche are presiding. Its kind of funny to me that so many of them do so little actual hero work anymore. I think it started as a means of testing the newcomers to the city, for many of the problems they sent their "task forces" against have been well-within the Phalanxs capability to handle, but they sent the lightweights to see how they did. Over time, it seems like they kind of fell into a routine of being the people handling the paperwork of the investigations while the newcomers took the glory of the battlefield.

Perhaps this was why we were having trouble when we dealt with the new criminals coming out of the Isles. I dont know My thoughts are rambling again.

Mynx delivered the report to Citadel and the android casually flipped through the folder and its papers in seconds. Then he handed it over to Positron who started scanning each page to his armors data core before handing it to Manticore and Shalice.

Hey! Ms. Liberty says training in Atlas Park is up three percent! the armored man announces happily, Mynx, trainings down by ten in Skyway Is everything alright?

You room with Synapse, you know what the deal is, she replied bitterly, her tail twitching in irritation, Theres nothing out there that the capes hold any form of stock in! Trolls run rampant out there and the Lost have a firm grip on the south! Nobody comes out there, though! Im getting kind of scared Synapse cant deal with those hulking monsters by himself forever!

Hm Positron nodded, but he didnt seem to have much of an answer, Well Perhaps when Architect Entertainment sets up shop out there theyll show up more often.

I sure hope so, the catgirl agreed, her tone dropping just like her fur, Im sorry for snapping like that Im just so worried

Shes serious, too. Psyche nods slightly and the other Phalanxers calm down. A lot of people dont know how to deal with Katherine, its hard for them to read her behavior. I chuckle a little inside my head as I think that all they need to do is own a cat.

Steve and Ray cant, their apartment building has a ban on pets, Psyche informs me when I send her my thought, Id like a kitty, myself, but Justins been trying to get me to agree on a dog. If we get one, Im going for something like a German Shepherd, though, not the little Shih-Tzus or Chihuahuas hes been trying to convince me with

I chuckle back. Picturing a beastly German Shepherd or a Bull Mastiff tearing through that mansion and around all those priceless antiques Me, I was always a cat man. After dealing with a big heavy man who routinely beat me up, having something small, light and had a tendency to relax over all other things would be nice.

Perhaps that would be a good way to open up to other heroes! a different voice enters my mind, Swans voice, You could ask them how they deal with their cats. I know some psychic heroines who converse regularly with the ones they take on patrol with them!

I dont know how to respond. First, Im a little worried that shed been reading my mind this whole time without me knowing, even from wherever she was in the city (probably patrolling Brickstown and breaking the minds of the Council soldiers that like to recruit out there). Second, I didnt know how to take what she was saying to me.

Are you suggesting I go on a date? I send back to her.

A small duet of laughter answers me. I can feel my cheeks warm as I realize Psyche had heard the conversation. I realize there was some kind of cooperation between the two. Psyche was probably conversing with any number of psychics at once throughout the city (Hell, even the world!), and she probably shared what she was getting from me with Swan Maybe Aurora, too.

At least I was reassured that Swan didnt get through my mental walls. Psyche did. She always does. She knows me as well as she would a child of her own (though she hadnt had time for children in her life; maybe she would now).

Nope, not right now, was her playful reply.

For a brief moment, I think I have my answer. I think I know why I do this. I think I know why I try to be a hero. An instant later, though, its gone, but I still feel better.

It's strange that I feel better, but-

Hey! Mynx shouts in my face, You coming?

What?

I missed the rest of the meeting in my musing. Positron and the rest were leaving through a side entrance. Shalice waved goodbye to me as they left the three of us alone in the chamber.

Valkyrie was looking at a message on her cellphone and smiling. It wasn't a message from Infernal (the guy crushed just about every phone we ever gave him; usually they just get one of us psychics to call him), but it was apparently funny. I figured it was one of those "viral" cartoons and I turned my attention back to the catgirl.

Val and I are gonna check out Sirens Call before we head to lunch. You want to come with?

Her mind was buzzing with enthusiasm, but theres nothing personal in the emotions Im getting. I try to ignore anything she thinks about me. I dont know what her fascination with the war zone is, anyway, but I also know that this is my last chance to move around with any freedom (at least, for the foreseeable future). If I don't do this, I'll be spending the rest of the day holed up in the Vindicators base, just like every other day, filing the paperwork they send me.

Sure, I say and we start heading out.

I dont say the rest of what I want, though.

Mynx reminds me of everything I wish I was. She did some terrible things before Synapse got through to her (however the Hell a man like that can get through to a girl like her), but now she acts by the same gut instinct as she did before and is still a definitive hero in almost every sense (and those in which she doesn't are issues of personality, anyway; at her heart, at her core, she's a heroine anybody can trust). I wish I could act with such assurance. I wish I could tell her I would do anything for her.

If I told her how she makes me feel

Shes the only person I try my damnedest not to read. Im so afraid of how she sees me.

My Stories

Look at that. A full-grown woman pulling off pigtails. Her crazy is off the charts.

Soul Train · 03-23-2009 06:32 AM

This is really good stuff.

... even if Malaise is too emo for my standards.

"City of Heroes. April 27, 2004 - August 31, 2012. Obliterated not with a weapon of mass destruction, not by an all-powerful supervillain... but by a cold-hearted and cowardly corporate suck-up."

Mr_Grey · 03-23-2009 07:09 AM

((Give me a moment, Soul Train...

Disclaimer: I make mention at the end of this of a town Malaise may have come from. This is more my flair thrown into his story than any real knowledge I may have. Let me give some background...

I'm from New York (you can see it there next to my forum icon), but I'm not from NYC. Everywhere I've been in life that was outside New York City, though, from Georgia (U.S.A.) to Iwakuni, Japan, it has been assumed that I was from the City.

So, when I chose a town to be Malaise's place of origin, I chose one I figured had a comparable population to some of the communities around me. This is essentially to combat the whole "French people are from Paris" stereotype.

So... Without further ado... My Beautiful Misery, Part 3...))

As much as I like Valkyrie for being like Infernal in the not looking at me like a rabid dog department, she suffers me a good deal of heartburn. Before I explain that, let me give a rundown of our experience in Sirens Call

Mynx comes back here periodically, pretty much ever since Manticore bombed her face with one of his arrows. This royally ticked her off, and shes tried to explain it as I missed out on my chance to beat up real bad guys, but we all know shes [ticked] at Justin for Well Shooting her in the face with a bomb! I dont even need to read her mind to know that. I think shes the only one who hasnt had a chance to yell at him, too (Im fairly certain Synapse is afraid shell neatly slice his face off; I think he wants to have a camera with a quick enough shutter speed to catch the action before he lets her have the opportunity). Its been a couple years, some would think shed be over it by now, but I know how when you feel betrayed, it sticks with you.

They should have let her cut his face off and be done with it. Its not like MedCom cant fix it.

Heh. Hell get better. Heh-heh.

Well, we arrived in the Call (did I just call it the Call?) and Agent Brinson handed us a dossier on a villain named Hollow Point. How someone with an gun and some toys thinks he can compare to people like me (with real power!) is beyond me, but somehow he does it. Hell, even Blue Steel is a monster of a tank and all hes got is a big golden shield and a nightstick (and a Hell of a lot of determination of which I just cant fathom the source).

It didnt take us long to find the guy. He was shooting things up on one of the oil derricks and trying to set it ablaze. It amazes me that this place, which is normally lacking in super-powered support of one form or another, hasnt torn itself apart already.

Again.

Well, we reached the Derrick and Hollow Point had a small cadre helping him. I recognized Savage Siren immediately (reading her file made me think the gods were writing in clichés again and that I might have to be the one who rehabilitates her; fat chance of that), but the other one, Silent Blade, was a complete unknown to me. Well, almost complete unknown, I remembered her name and description from the reports I had to file, but everything else Id plain forgotten.

We dueled and battled with the terrifying trio for what felt like hours, but was probably only about ten minutes. Its amazing how epic these fights sound when people tell them in stories, but to watch them If you blink, you miss it!

The most I remember is Savage Siren trying to scare me with a scream. Or maybe she was just screaming that she had to fight me (I remember some sense of derision, that I was somehow beneath her skills). I returned fire with a rather well-crafted image of my last memory of Silver Mantis attacking me, only turned on her. When I tried the same thing to Silent Blade, though, I swear she tried making out with it

After that the fight kind of fizzled out. Hollow Point seemed to lose his interest in fighting anymore and we were able to round him and the gibbering psychic up easily. Silent Blade disappeared, however, when she realized she was entranced by an illusion. I remember a sensation of profound embarrassment that faded as it went southeast to the small base Arachnos set up out there.

I wonder how the government can think of Arachnos as any form of humanitarian organization. We are fighting them in the streets in this city (this one in particular)! How can that seem at all humanitarian? Still, thats the lie Arachnos feeds the world to explain their presence here.

We delivered the two villains to Agent Brinson and started heading back to Skyway City for lunch. Before leaving Steel Canyon, we stopped by Positrons post at the feet of the giant M-1 statue and Valkyrie talked to some of the newer heroes whod recently increased their security levels. I dont really know the methods of my peers, but I never really trained the heroes who came to me. I offered advice to the best of my abilities as to how they should develop their powers or let them know which ones might need improvement, but I couldnt actually show an electricity hurling blaster-type how to electrocute a purse-snatcher. I like to think I did alright, but seeing Val go through some of the motions she did to demonstrate to that sword-wielding punk made me feel slightly ashamed of myself.

When the training was complete, we headed for the Green Line and thats when she embarrassed me. See, psychics usually arent surprised by people. The problem, however, is that some people dont think before they speak. Valkyrie is one of those people

You have a thing for redheads, dont you?

At first, I didnt know what she was talking about. Id been staring at Mynxs butt and was kind of lost in the moment. The question caused her to perk up for some odd reason and a sense of alarm bristled around me.

Are you talking about Sister Psyche? I ask, unsure of her meaning, Val, that was years ago. Im over that.

No, Im speaking of our feline friend, here... Valkyrie gestures and I turn to see Katherine giving her an open-mouthed stare.

Mynx has red hair? I ask, this time in a desperate gamble, but I try to sound more confused than desperate.

Yeah Mynx holds some of it away from her head, as if pulling one clump aside would make the color anymore apparent, Im a fiery redhead!

I always thought you were a brunette.

They stare at me a moment, and I can sense the disbelief.

I mean, I always knew you were blonde, Val, you and Libby And I know Swan has such pale hair its white, but reds difficult for me. I usually assume brunette until someone says otherwise.

Youre colorblind? Mynx sounds kind of sympathetic, Oh Mal I didnt know

Its Jean, please dont call me Mal or Malaise unless were fighting someone or something, but yeah, Im color blind.

But youre an artist! Valerie is radiating disbelief, How can an artist be colorblind!?

Actually, Kat starts stroking her chin as she appraises my costume, It makes a lot of sense all of a sudden

Hey! I shout indignantly, I paid Serge good money to get this outfit the way I want it!

You Wanted this Grape gelatin puke?

Valkyrie starts laughing boisterously and slaps me on the back as she doubles over. I stumble forward a couple steps, the girl has to realize shes a lot stronger than most of the people around her, and look at her in mock irritation. The artist in me demands I show dignity in this moment of embarrassment, but I cant help but feel amused as well.

No, I answer calmly as I feel the sensation of amusement creeping over even into the artist portion of my psyche, I like purple Its a smooth, soothing sort of color The color of royalty. I asked Serge to mish-mash various shades and types of it, from plum to magenta, in a design I created. Its supposed to be like one of those pictures that if you look at it long enough, it turns three-dimensional.

Really? Mynx asks between chuckles, Thats kind of cool.

Yeah, except theres no image. It just makes my body seem to bend and warp in ways a body shouldnt. Its pretty useful against people who tend to see those images automatically, it plays havoc with their depth perception, and you never know if a villain is going to have that sort of condition

Or a hero, the cat reminds me and Im confused again as to whether or not shes warming up to me or keeping me at the same distance she always kept me.

For a second, I worry I may have just given her ammunition with which to poke fun at me. I know it seems silly to worry about, but her personality is one that takes jabs at people to test them (even if there arent any expected results to the test), and shes likely to taunt me about my inability to see color at some future date.

For now, however, I have to deal with the fact that she just insinuated I might go rogue again.

Yeah, or a hero, I mutter, Though I dont see that being the issue for some time.

Youre an artist, though, Valerie interjects, and I have a slight feeling of discomfort from her, so Im left to assume shes trying to change the subject, Doesnt the inability to see color make that difficult? You paint!

Yes, I paint. I have to rely on company labels on what I buy, then I write on my palette which color is what. I normally start with stark contrasts to make things easier, but for gradual transitions, say from red to orange to yellow, as if I were painting a sunset, I have to operate by memory a lot.

That sounds very difficult, some genuine respect radiates from Mynx and her tail sways back and forth.

Im not entirely sure how to read the mannerism. Supposedly, shes in a playful mood, or maybe she just finds my ability to paint despite the handicap fascinating. With human thoughts involved, the mannerisms are muddled. Cats have much simpler tastes.

It was, I reply, But I found actually painting much more cathartic than stealing paintings.

What was that like, anyway? Valerie asks as we start walking up the ladderwell to get to the Green Line station above us, I mean, what was your motivation for stealing all of those paintings?

I dont know I think I wanted to burn them, first.

They stare at me for a moment. I can understand the terror. I once held Leonardo da Vincis Mona Lisa in my hands, with nobody to tell me what to do with it. Its not as great as movies and television shows make it out to be, but even that helps it. Its hard to explain Its beautiful in its simplicity. That, and da Vinci was a master at painting the human form. He and Michelangelo were exceptional at that in a time when people were essentially passing off cartoons as art, and each for very different reasons.

I couldnt do it, in the end, I explain, So I turned to selling them Which led me here to Paragon, because Id heard of someone who was interested in purchasing stolen art from the Louvre.

The Center, Katherine replies, I hear hes a bit of an art critic himself.

Hes a bit of an artist, too, from what Psyche tells me. He was never that great, but Ive seen his work. Its not bad, just not amazing or incredible. It's just average stuff. Well She caught my presence in the city because I just threw scary images at people on reflex and had no idea how to mask my psychic activities. Shortly afterward, well You know the story. She caught me, we fought, and she soundly trounced me. Then, for some odd reason, she decided to help, and here we are.

We didnt say much more until we were in the station. I could sense some kind of weird tension building, but I couldnt figure out the source. While we were waiting for the train, Mynx finally broke the tension and asked me a question I normally dont feel like getting into.

So, why did you try to lead an army of criminals against the Phalanx?

Looking to her face, I saw she was being serious, not playful. This was something that must have bothered her since I joined the Vindicators. I couldn't fathom why she'd restrained herself from straight up demanding this from me before.

Maybe Jessica told her to lay off.

I considered the question for a moment. It was a deeply personal reason as to why I did what I did, even if I was in a fugue. Still, if I were to come to grips with it

What Im about to tell you two, only Psyche, I, and my ever-growing line of psychologists know about. Im going to tell you because, well, I think Im ready to tell someone.

Oh Katherines cat ears turn toward me a little and Im slightly disconcerted (I thought they were fake!).

Well Tell us what you feel you can, Valerie pats my knee and claps my shoulder, signs and reminders of reassurance and friendship, If you feel uncomfortable, you can stop and well understand.

Alright Well I sigh and try to mentally compose myself, Most people think I grew up in Paris or something I actually lived outside a town called Pithviers

My Stories

Look at that. A full-grown woman pulling off pigtails. Her crazy is off the charts.

BlueBattler · 03-23-2009 02:16 PM

I really like this, Mr. G.

Are you an artist yourself? You certainly managed to convey that aspect of Malaise in a believable fashion.

Well done, yet again!

My COX Fanfiction:

Blue's Assembled Story Links

Mr_Grey · 03-23-2009 04:12 PM

No, I'm not an artist (I'd try conveying this as a comic if I were ), I've just met aspirants in my life and I've asked them how they do their work. They often tell me their methods, how the whole thing "feels" to them or the approach that's worked best... Despite the fact that I've got very little actual talent, I can usually understand perfectly what they're trying to get across.

Besides, it's not too hard figuring out that a colorblind artist would have trouble painting a spectrum

Oh... I'll take this moment to explain why I figure Malaise is colorblind, too...

In the comics, when the Phalanx goes to Praetorian Earth, Sister Psyche incapacitates the Praetorian Malaise by striking him colorblind. This winds up tearing him up inside so badly as he starts shouting "MY BEAUTIFUL COLORS! THEY'RE GONE!"

And I wondered... Where would she get the inspiration for that? Why would she think that simply plunging him in a world of grays would render a lunatic like him incapable of anything past this sudden stark change in his perception?

Then it hit me: the Primal Earth Malaise. I figured he must be colorblind... A lot of other things about the character made some more sense to me after considering that, his obsession with art, his peculiar outfit (which I figure Serge did as best as he could), and... His abuse.

With the right kind of brain damage, one can lose their ability to interpret colors. What's worse, it can be sporadic at first, so it could be left undiagnosed until it's too late (not that Jean had much chance to get his head fixed, anyway...).

So... This is how I see his story as it's presented to the players. I'm not going to try to focus too much on his history, he's got somewhere he's going here, but I like delving into his past to determine his motivations.

My Stories

Look at that. A full-grown woman pulling off pigtails. Her crazy is off the charts.

Genia · 03-23-2009 04:28 PM

I've seen work by colourblind kids (some of them quite talented) in my vision clinic - it was among work by people with all sorts of.... intresting sight problems.

A lot of them tended to paint what they actually saw, rather than try and fit the convention of a spectrum as we know it. That is, pick the crayons (or pastels, or watercolours, or whatever) according to the colour they appeared to represent. One very talented fellow was pretty big on blue grass. I never did find out what, if anything, became of his drawing habit.

Cynics of the world, unite!

Taking Care of the Multiverse

Mr_Grey · 03-24-2009 01:49 PM

Its crazy what Crey did to me, Mynx gasps in shock, but that man was supposed to be your father!

Were on the train, almost arrived in Skyway, by the time I finish my teenage years and start getting into my obsession with art. I say obsession because I never really appreciated art the way I should have. Instead, it was a puzzle that confounded me.

By the time I started showing an interest in painting, my colorblindness had taken full hold. It had started simple

One day, my father, drunk and fired again, started taking his frustration out on me. I took a swing at him and he caught my wrist before slinging me into the kitchen. Id spun around somehow as I fell and I felt something hard smack pointedly against the back of my head before I blacked out. It was the corner of the table.

When I woke up, I was still on the linoleum kitchen floor, dad was in the living room, staring blankly at a static-covered television. Hed fallen into a sort of coma, himself, though not one induced through the violence Id just suffered. Hurt, both physically and emotionally, I simply turned the machine off and went to my room to cry myself to sleep.

I didnt really notice my colorblindness at first. It started with reds and greens. I thought it was peculiar how some of the flowers on my walk were the same color as the grass and their stems. Then, abruptly, they were back to normal. The greens were more lush, the reds more vibrant. I was learning about how my body would be going through changes in school, so I assumed this was part of it.

After a year or so, I was seeing half the day in color, the other half in grays. I knew something was wrong, but I didnt know who to turn to. Dad was still this violent, self-absorbed monster, the other kids picked on me because my mother had gone crazy. When she killed herself, they only picked on me harder.

Well, not all of them, but the ones who didnt already didnt say much to me anyway.

Ironically, it was in art class that my condition was discovered. I was struck by a fit (as I was starting to call the periods of discoloration) just as we entered the classroom. The teacher, a lovely young woman whom Im sad to say Ive forgotten the name of, instructed us to paint an image of our house as we remember it. I wish I could show the one I made of my house to one of my psychologists, but its locked up in an evidence locker somewhere (that is, if it hasnt fallen to some ravage of time).

She saw what Id done and pointed out Id made the grass blue, the sky pink and the house was a pale shade of yellow. She didnt mention how it was gaunt and disturbing in a way that none of the houses in Pithviers were, or how I put myself in the window of my room, biting my lip as my monster came home. No, she saved that for when she spoke to the schools headmaster.

After that, my condition was discovered, the source of it as well My father was arrested and I was taken as a ward of the state. Thats a nice way of saying they yelled at my father to never do that again, forced him to pay a fine, and threw me in an orphanage.

If theyd thrown him in prison, like they did me, perhaps I wouldnt feel so bad about it.

...

Okay, so it wasn't prison, but...

More bad things happened in my life, but I prefer not to get into them in any great detail. Suffice it to say, when you have a system centered around the welfare of neglected children, you simply must have the most strict of screening procedures for those you place in any form of authority. I was not so lucky

And the supervisor of the orphanage was supposed to be my guardian, my protector I reply to Katherine, Instead, he was just as much a beast as my father In fact, worse. I remember everything he did to me Hell Hes one of the first people I drove mad when my powers manifested in an intensely emotional moment. I used to wish I could do the same to my father.

The train stops and Mynx and Valkyrie nod. They understand what Im talking about. Its not a new story, Im not the first kid to be abused. Still, theyre sympathetic in a way I never expected anybody to be. In the orphanage, the other kids were going through the same things, or had been through them. They looked at me as the new meat, and it was just my turn to shoulder the burden.

We leave the station and head north. The groups of Lost have been either more subdued lately or even more fervent. Some are depressed that their Great Revelation was just the second Rikti War, others are still holding out for an even bigger event. Personally, Im rather frightened of what that could be.

Regardless, they leave us alone. They usually give the newer heroes a rough time as they pass through, but most of everyone who gets past their twentieth security level has broken enough of their friends or had enough stories told about them to be merit being ignored. It doesnt always happen, sometimes a little kid rises through the ranks as a tanker, so he always looks like someone the Big Bad Wolves can push around, but we're not that kid, so we pass unharmed.

Sometimes I wish I was like that kid. I wish I could go through life surrounded by enemies who think they can rip you apart, but supremely confident that you can put them through the nearest wall. Instead, I make their nightmares come alive. If they ever were to realize that it was all an illusion, all a lie, Id be toast Just like when Silver Mantis trampled me underfoot.

Oh yeah! Mynx chuckles as we enter a Japanese-style restaurant, I remember that! You were all like Youre not afraid of anything! and she just tackled you into the sidewalk! I wish I had a camera

Yeah, I rub my head again at the memory, For a second, I was seeing things in color again, too. Didnt last too long, but still

This place has the best sushi, the catgirl is already drooling as she has us take seats, Hey Tom!

Im stricken by the fact that the guy behind the counter isnt Japanese, in fact, he isnt even Asian. Hes African American. Considering the fact that Im always bothered when people think Im from Paris, I should be a little ashamed of myself.

Heya, Kitty! the man replies enthusiastically, Wow! Did you bring any other Vindicators?

No, these are the only two on patrol with me. Val, Mal, this is Tom.

I bristle a little, but I know what Katherines doing when she uses our code names. Shes keeping our identities safe. Anybody can go to the F.B.S.A. database and request our information, but still Theres a principle, and its kind of cool that she followed it.

We order our lunches keep talking. I tell them about how I left the orphanage pretty much the day I manifested my powers and got some measure of vengeance against the supervisor who abused me. I traveled the countryside for a while, conning people for the food I needed (I would make the scraps of paper I handed them seem like the money they wanted) until I found myself in Paris.

I wanted to see what the fuss was about. I wanted to see the works by painters and sculptors that teacher had said I could be worthy of (with practice, she meant, but I was a child, so I didnt think about that part). I saw the work

But it was all gray.

I couldnt see them in their vibrancy. I couldnt see them as they were made by their creators. Sculpture was one thing, but painting My passion I couldnt understand its depth without the color. They were all black and white pictures to me, every single one I envied the people their ability to see the art in a way I couldnt. Worse, it made me angry.

So, being of unsound mind and unclear head, as well as being a hormone-churning adolescent (I was in my twenties, I know, but I still felt like a child, which didnt help my temperament), I decided I was well within the right to use my powers to steal the artwork and burn it all at my leisure. What right did the rest of the world have to appreciate it if I couldnt? I know it was selfish, short-sighted and completely immature, but I was a dumb kid.

Which makes the fact that I even got away with it all the more surprising. Of course, I went into the Louvre looking like the average tourist, not a costumed freak Okay not the AVERAGE tourist, because they usually have some ridiculously expensive camera, a backpack and other knick-knacks that say clearly Im not from around here! I just didnt look like a super-powered interloper.

I looked like an everyday Parisian who took a fancy to seeing the Louvre. I was lucky and there wasnt a long line of tourists to hinder me. Once inside, I used my ability to make images to try to replace each work I stole. The idea was that the alarms would blare, but the security guards would be confused because the art was still right there

Everything was fine and dandy as I went in. Im sure you can guess how it started to go wrong, right? As I super-imposed the image on its original, then I just pulled the original down. I would make the people around me think they saw an average Parisian just standing there, admiring the work.

Like a fool, I first went for the classic that every super art thief goes for, the Mona Lisa. Like I said earlier, its not THAT spectacular up close, but then It is. I guess its the critic in me conflicting with the artist in me. Its weird.

I had everything perfect, I had the painting in my hand Then the world turned gray. The image of the painting on the wall did, too

Wait! Mynx stops me, scoops another sushi roll into her mouth, then continues, You make illusions in color!

Yeah It takes practice I reply, Here

I focus for a moment and a sphere of light appears hovering above my hand. Our chef, Tom, backs away from the counter for a moment. When he realizes its not some kind of attack, though, he starts applauding.

Its supposed to be red, I explain and Mynx nods.

Its a very bright red, Valkyrie comments and jabs one of my eggrolls with a chopstick, Are you eating this?

Not anymore she didnt have the hang of the things and had jabbed all of her food like that, then ate off the stick like it was a fork, Anyway Lets see Yellow

It feels like my mind flexes and the orb of light changes a little. To me, it just gets lighter. To them, however

Yep, Mynx stuffs another sushi roll into her mouth and nods, It looks like a little sun.

Now Now something more difficult Green

I feel that flex again and I can barely see the orb change. I think its right

Well?

Its kind of green, Valkyrie purses her lips and quirks her mouth to the side a little, But its still pretty yellow

I flex my mind a little more. Needs more blue

Now its just blue, Mynx announces.

Damn, I mutter

Then the world turns to color. I wasnt ready for the change and I nearly jump out of my seat. This causes Katherine to chuckle and cough up her lunch a little, but she is otherwise okay.

Here we go, I announce and turned the orb into a beautiful emerald.

Oh So You can see color right now?

Yeah For about five minutes. I got away from the Louvre by doing the opposite to everybody there. Made me amazingly tired, but I made them all think the color of the world had spilled out onto the floor Then I made the colors rise up and chase them.

Ew Valerie mutters as she imagines, correctly, a bunch of formless masses of color assaulting people.

What can I say? I passed a Dahli painting on my way

So, I wound up with just the Mona Lisa, but it was still a Hell of a steal. The authorities were after me, but nobody knew who I was. My fingerprints werent on file and the super-powered world didnt know what to think of an art thief who makes the world turn black and white and wears civvies. It didnt take much for me to evade the normal police, either, because I could make them see me as whatever I wanted to be, or make them see their worst fears come to life. It became my favorite trick.

Oh yeah

What kept me from destroying the painting? Simple. I got my colors back. I had erected some sort of pyre to adorn the work so I could enjoy watching it smolder away. I used old newspapers, discarded cardboard boxes, broken furniture a couple phone books and other garbage to adorn the doomed piece. The entire construct was almost a work of art in itself, it would have been interesting if I could have taken a photograph All that detritus framing the Mona Lisa, it would have been considered some kind of profound statement by a critic at the time, but I didnt really have a statement to make. I just wanted to be able to watch it burn, surrounded in flames.

I was all set to press a torch to it when my colors came back and I saw it in a whole new light (yes, the torch light, but I meant figuratively). I dont know how, I dont know why, but seeing it like that, the way it sat in that pyre, framed by old milk crates and a broken seat, still waiting impassively for the end I appreciated it in a whole new way. It struck me, is all; it got to what good remained of my soul and wouldnt let go.

I couldnt do it, so I carefully dismantled the wreckage around it and started making new plans. I robbed a couple banks to get myself a plane ticket, forged my identity with more illusions (humans trust their eyesight far too much) and fled the country.

And I already told you the rest, and you already know what I havent told you, because you were there, I finish, Now I sit in the Vindicators offices, filing the paperwork you guys send me about criminals you arrest, how many times you have to go to the medical centers, or which heroes you helped train. Its amazing I havent gone mad from cabin fever, but the tedium does offer me the opportunity to indulge in my hobby.

So youre the one who put that painting of the Freedom Corps logo next to the window! Mynxs eyes twinkle and she points.

I look and I see Valkyrie is spearing another of my eggrolls. She shrugs and smiles.

You know, Im hungry, too

Well, I missed breakfast, she replies sheepishly, then takes a bite from the roll while giving what would normally be a sexy smile.

Since I know who she really spends her time with at night, the effect is rather muted. She is, to quote a character in a movie I recently saw that actually didnt offend me as much as I expect it should have, persona non-nookie to me."

No dice, I shuffled my plate away and started popping California rolls into my mouth, This is my lunch, get your own

I was kidding, I would have shared (Im actually not that much a fan of eggrolls and Id ordered a sampler plate), but I was also very hungry. Thankfully, I hit the right notes in my vocalization and they shared a laugh with me. We ordered another round (its not very filling food, even if it is nutritious) and Mynx asked me one last question.

What were you doing in the Rogue Isles when they captured you?

I could have asked her the same thing. I could ask any of them the same thing. Of course, their answers were nothing with which to be ashamed. Their answers didnt involve the Malleus Mundi and tricking the Carnival of Shadows to cover me while I tried to change the world.

Id rather not talk about it, I reply before scarfing down a salmon roll, Ive already shared a lot But I would like you to leave this to me. Please.

They prod me a little, but I refuse to tell them. I refuse to let them know who Id worked with or what Id told them to get them to help me. I didnt want them to know what Id said to the villain who captured me and I didnt want them to know what Id said to the interrogators who questioned me.

I didnt want them to know how close I came to losing it again. Dont get me wrong, I went in with the best of intentions

But with the power of the gods at your fingertips Indeed, the very forces of creation itself within your grasp

Well, you know what they say about absolute power

Oh, shoot, Katherine suddenly announces and reaches for the communicator on her hip, Sidechicks ticked. We gotta get back to the base before afternoon patrols.

Let me guess I mutter

An image of Ms. Liberty, only wearing a goofy clown outfit, appears behind us, hands on her hips and finger pointed square at me. I'd been working on it for about a year and a half. I never thought I'd get a chance to use it, but hey, opportunity knocked...

She shouts What is Malaise doing outside of the base!?

Mynx and Valkyrie dont start laughing until I reach up and poke the rubber nose, eliciting a honking sound.

Yes

My illusions have come far over the years.

My Stories

Look at that. A full-grown woman pulling off pigtails. Her crazy is off the charts.

BlueBattler · 03-24-2009 04:55 PM

You're doing a great job of making Malaise come alive, Mr. G.

He's one of the characters I've never had a grip on.

Well done.

My COX Fanfiction:

Blue's Assembled Story Links

Mr_Grey · 03-28-2009 06:00 AM

Jessica doesnt fail to disappoint when we arrive. She has her arms folded over her chest and shes tapping her foot as shes standing in the center of the briefing room. Her face is frozen in a perpetual scowl and Im left wondering just what it is about me thats always got her on edge. Its not like she gets this bent out of shape over KVarr, so it cant be the fact that Im one of the few guys in the group.

Maybe she wishes there were more guys. Perhaps the choice between Infernal and me is putting her through conniptions.

Im kidding. I dont actually think shes got that kind of problem with me. The tension between us is hardly symptomatic of any kind of unrequited attraction.

No I think its far simpler than that. She simply doesnt believe that Ive changed. Hardly anybody believes it.

Sometimes I wonder if I do.

Mynx asking me about the Rogue Isles brought the doubt back. I wanted to erase one thing, one little mistake that almost cost me everything, but also cost me a lot more than I ever expected to pay. But was that really what I was doing? Would I have stopped there?

Unable to mull the questions over, I bring myself back to the present and Sidechicks haranguing me. Shes leaning forward now, hands on her hips and legs shoulder-width apart. I like to call the stance The Nagger, my own personal in-joke that bounces off the classic statue, The Thinker. Oddly enough, it's the same pose I chose when I made that illusion at the Japanese-themed restaurant that depicted her in a clowns outfit.

Swan and Auroras eyes widen as they read the image Im broadcasting. To their credit, they dont say anything or gasp, but Swan covers her mouth with her hand. Aurora shakes her head but grins sheepishly at me. Of course, theyre behind Jessica, so I have little to worry about their reactions.

Valerie and Katherine, on the other hand, are both in front of our leader and their reactions are both boisterous and animated. They double over in laughter as they remember the illusion I crafted for them earlier, and Jessica is none-too-pleased. She stares at them, open-mouthed that they interrupted her rant at me, and asks loudly and angrily that they tell her whats so funny.

Honk! Mynx answers as she pokes Jessicas nose playfully before taking a seat.

What the Hell is all of this about!? the star-spangled heroine shouts again, but Valkyries laughing too hard to provide any further information.

I think Swan begins, but shes struck by a bout of amusement, so she needs a little more time to compose herself before continuing, I think we need to get back to the matter at hand

Yeah, I answer, And how Libbys ticked I skirted around her imposing house arrest on me.

Its not house arrest! she shouts indignantly.

Ah, sweet denial. Its one of the most common actions of anybody who has been caught in an act, especially when there is no physical evidence that can be gained. I cant really blame her, I did the same thing, too. Still

Well, its not like I get to go anywhere

Youre the only one with nothing to do!

Because you dont assign me anything! I feel like were about to go in circles, Look, you guys go to the Isles every so often Ive gone ONCE!

And you had to be rescued

So did you!

At least our friends knew where we were when we were captured, Ms. Liberty leans back and folds her arms over her chest again, We still dont know what you did out there.

I blink, but I offer no answers. I can feel Lena and Aurora both brush against my mind, searching for some weak point in my mental defenses or a broadcast of what I was doing. I send them a very angry missive explaining in no uncertain terms that Ill let them know what I was doing when I feel like it and the sensation of their scanning me lessens. I dont verbally do the same with Jessica, though. Instead, I shrug and take a seat.

I dont remember telling you to sit down! she shouts.

I dont remember caring if you did or not, I reply, Cripes, if youre trying to make me feel like a dumb teenager, youre succeeding, Libby, but I dont care about your orders or your protocols if youre just going to have me acting in a bookkeeping capacity! I used to stand beside you in defense of this city, remember!? I was a member of the Phalanx, too!

Yeah Then you lost your marbles

Jessica! Lena shouts, Jeans obviously distraught

Damn right Im distraught! I jump up and slap the recurved desk that circles around the heroine, I have busted my butt trying to prove Im sane again, and your reaction is to coop me up in here like Im some sort of disease! Whyd you even ask me into this group, Libby!? What made you so charitable?

Shalice asked me

I knew it!

I dont even know what Im arguing anymore. In frustration, I throw my arms up in the air and stomp around angrily. For a moment, Im reminded of images of primates arguing, hooting and barking impotently at each other because nobody is going to back down. At one point, one of them picks up a bone and clunks another on the head.

So, in the silence of the revelation of my undesired state, I take said bone

You know, Jess, theres something Ive always wondered

And clunk her over the head

Who are these guys I always see in your mind when Swan or Valkyrie or someone is giving a report? Youre all hip into this leadership thing, but when it comes to actually paying attention, youre off in La-la Land, fantasizing about your latest lay

Her face goes pale and she glares at me. Swan and Aurora are now staring gape-mouthed at me. They knew about Jessicas broadcasts of her social musings, but theyd been trying to find a more tactful way of broaching the subject with her. Luminary, who has been silent up to this point, raises her hand in an attempt to be recognized (and change the subject rapidly).

Guys If Malaise doesnt mind working the patrol in Talos, I could do some of the filing here I-!

Quiet, Lumie, Ms. Liberty stares coldly at me, You read my mind?

No, I reply coolly, You broadcast. Your thoughts? Theyre open for every psychic to see.

You read my mind!?

Jessica, he Swan tries to confirm what I said.

Wed been seeing this for the past year or so. Various male heroes and some of the average men she worked with in the course of her career were popping up frequently in her thoughts. Sometimes it was her boyfriend of the month or week or minute, other times it was someone more personal. Every time she gets to thinking about these people, though, she starts considering what it would be like to have a relationship with them, be intimate with them

Im no stranger to such musings, even when were on patrol. However, I know how to shield my thoughts. Its not a psychic trick, its something anyone can learn. You wall in your private thoughts, bury them down, or weave them with other considerations. Granted, its a little easier for people like me, but people can even stumble into this (Manticore, oddly enough, is one Ive always had trouble knowing the thoughts of; apparently Swan has the same problem). Libby, despite all of the psychics she battles on a regular basis (they comprise a full third of Arachnos forces), she has never even asked for help in regards to shielding her mind.

This could lead to a dangerous situation. Our enemies could learn her secret crushes and turn their efforts toward hurting them (and by extension, hurt her). Id hate to think of how shed react if some of these people, who actually were her friends, wound up dead or in the hospital just because of their affiliation.

Despite these objective, altruistic considerations, however, I was not motivated by any of this. I was motivated by trying to embarrass her, and Jessica reacted as someone who felt somewhat violated would react.

Get out.

Mal Infernal grumbled, the warm sensation from him buzzing with irritation, Come along, young friend. Apologize.

No, Jessica said quietly, No apologies. Ive had it with you and your attitude, Malaise. You want out? Get out. I dont want to see you in this building again.

I can feel a lot of red hot anger radiating from her and I know that, for now, shes serious. I crossed a line, and whats worse, I dont care.

This is bad. I know it, but I cant feel it. Im not exactly acting smug when I casually flip her off and walk out of the room. I feel like Ive accomplished something, but I know I havent. Its the schism again, the dichotomy that Shalice found in me before.

I used to be schizophrenic Or something like it. I can still remember what I was thinking in those days, I can still see the logic of it But I cant remember why I thought any of it was a good idea. Im having something of the same problem now. I should stay and argue with Jessica more, try to get her to see what I was trying to say, even if it was the wrong time. But I cant. I dont feel like it.

Thats what its come to. Its no longer an alternative mentality I dive into that sends my better half to be tortured by a twisted figment of my father. Its just a bundle of angry emotions that drain all of my concern and care away and Im almost forced to become a complete jerk. Its the same mentality that caused me to call Shalice Sister Psycho.

Unfortunately, Ive never had too much overwhelming respect for Ms. Liberty. When I called Shalice that, it caused a shock in me that got me to calm down a bit (it may also have jarred me from scanning Silver Mantis mind properly, but Im quite certain that psychopath isnt afraid of anything). When I tick off Jessica, however, I register it as a slight victory, but in what conflict, I cannot say (because there really isnt one, but my ego refuses to relent).

When the door closes behind me, I can hear them start arguing, but theyre heavy oaken doors, so I cant make out anything. I can sense that Swan is extremely agitated with me, as shes sending a lot of angry thoughts after me. She should know better than to do that. Literally, if she thinks too hard, she can hurt someone.

Auroras thoughts, oddly enough, are more sympathetic to me. I could never understand that, how she was so willing to get in my corner. If Id had my way, Shalice would still be riding her body. If Id had my way, shed have divorced Calvin and married me, because I was the one who deserved

Well, thats who I was. That mightve been part of what caused me to retreat to the dark side of my mind A dream of mine had been dashed, and like a spoiled brat, I tried to smash the board

----------

Several Hours Later

You really need to avoid self diagnoses, she sooths as she massages my temples, I told you, when these sorts of things happen, dont think about it, just come to me and well talk.

Shalice, Im not going to get better if I dont start taking a critical look at my behavior! I reply, I cant rely on being able to run to you whenever I feel agitated! We tried that before, remember!

Well, I dont know why you felt you had to unburden yourself about this to me now, she sighed, That was a very Creepy thought

I know I dont feel that way anymore! I I turned to someone else to crush on

Have you told her, yet?

No I sigh and slump in the leather chair.

She told me to meet her in her study in Justins mansion. I still say Justins mansion, because she never seems to be at home here. Of course, theyve only been married a year, and they didnt live together before, so I think its just going to take her a little time to get familiar with the huge house. Perhaps setting up this study will help her with that. Some familiarity does wonders for a persons acclimation.

Well, youll have to sometime, Shalice poured some tea out of a kettle and handed me a steaming cup, Im sure shell be flattered.

Its Mynx.

The air seems to shudder and she turns to look at me like Im insane. I shrug and she just starts laughing.

I dont get you, Jean-Pierre, she chuckled, I mean, Ive seen your mind, inside and out, and I still dont know why you set your bar so

I would agree that being attracted to you was setting the bar high, but Mynx She seems so So So normal I blink at that and take a sip of my tea, Well As normal as a catgirl can be

Yes, but she has such a loner mentality. Youve certainly got an ordeal ahead of yourself with that one.

We share a chuckle at this and I finish the tea shed given me. She gives me some fond farewells as I decide to take my leave and informs me that shell try to explain things to Jessica. I reply that its my job to do that, and that her involvement was what got us in this situation in the first place (albeit indirectly, no matter how direct the correlation; in the end, it was my decisions that led to my being in this situation, I dont care what anybody says). Shalice understands what I mean, and I head out.

Its been a long time since Ive had some decent time to myself. I figure Ill start by taking a walk.

My Stories

Look at that. A full-grown woman pulling off pigtails. Her crazy is off the charts.

BlueBattler · 03-28-2009 06:26 AM

Good job again, Mr. G.

Wouldn't have thought of Ms. L as having quite the same mindset you do, but you sold me on it ... and I can actually see her not asking for help in learning how to shield her mind ...

Wouldn't have minded if you had mentioned how one of those guys she kept thinking about had a thing for the color blue ...

My COX Fanfiction:

Blue's Assembled Story Links

Paradigm_Shift · 03-28-2009 09:00 AM

[ QUOTE ]
Good job again, Mr. G.

Wouldn't have thought of Ms. L as having quite the same mindset you do, but you sold me on it ... and I can actually see her not asking for help in learning how to shield her mind ...

Wouldn't have minded if you had mentioned how one of those guys she kept thinking about had a thing for the color blue ...

[/ QUOTE ]

Ms. Lib tends to be closer to the gutter in Grey's universe. I personally LIKE the interpretation. Her massive flaws make all her other behaviors seem more realistic in the context of a world filled with super heroes and villains.

Mr_Grey · 03-28-2009 11:24 AM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Good job again, Mr. G.

Wouldn't have thought of Ms. L as having quite the same mindset you do, but you sold me on it ... and I can actually see her not asking for help in learning how to shield her mind ...

Wouldn't have minded if you had mentioned how one of those guys she kept thinking about had a thing for the color blue ...

[/ QUOTE ]

Ms. Lib tends to be closer to the gutter in Grey's universe. I personally LIKE the interpretation. Her massive flaws make all her other behaviors seem more realistic in the context of a world filled with super heroes and villains.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ms. L actually is better than Malaise is seeing her here in my world. He just pressed a personal button on her (indeed, it would be a personal button on ANYONE), so she's very, VERY ticked off at the moment.

As for Malaise being ticked off at being cooped up in the Vindicators base, well...

Where the HELL is he after the Calvin Scott TF!? You see him ONCE on Redside, and that's only if you choose Scirocco as your patron! You also might get his help in the Blueside Mender Silos TF, or fight him once in the Redside Silos SF, but his role there was already covered in the comics. He's still in the Vindicators, but he's not doing anything!

Of course, as far from Statesman as I see Ms. Liberty, I still see her as not being one to waste resources, so... A paperwork shuffling he'll go... And how many people can do that, day-in, day-out, for, oh, three and a half, four, going on five years?

Also, Blue...

I'd considered doing a list of the guys Malaise had seen in her mind, and Blue would've been among them... So would the guy who's in my icon (Roland Grey) and even Apex (I figure the Brawler would have introduced them). Problem is, Malaise doesn't really know or care who these guys are, so he tends to forget the details after the fact.

My Stories

Look at that. A full-grown woman pulling off pigtails. Her crazy is off the charts.

Paradigm_Shift · 03-28-2009 11:28 AM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Good job again, Mr. G.

Wouldn't have thought of Ms. L as having quite the same mindset you do, but you sold me on it ... and I can actually see her not asking for help in learning how to shield her mind ...

Wouldn't have minded if you had mentioned how one of those guys she kept thinking about had a thing for the color blue ...

[/ QUOTE ]

Ms. Lib tends to be closer to the gutter in Grey's universe. I personally LIKE the interpretation. Her massive flaws make all her other behaviors seem more realistic in the context of a world filled with super heroes and villains.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ms. L actually is better than Malaise is seeing her here in my world. He just pressed a personal button on her (indeed, it would be a personal button on ANYONE), so she's very, VERY ticked off at the moment.

As for Malaise being ticked off at being cooped up in the Vindicators base, well...

Where the HELL is he after the Calvin Scott TF!? You see him ONCE on Redside, and that's only if you choose Scirocco as your patron! You also might get his help in the Blueside Mender Silos TF, or fight him once in the Redside Silos SF, but his role there was already covered in the comics. He's still in the Vindicators, but he's not doing anything!

Of course, as far from Statesman as I see Ms. Liberty, I still see her as not being one to waste resources, so... A paperwork shuffling he'll go... And how many people can do that, day-in, day-out, for, oh, three and a half, four, going on five years?

[/ QUOTE ]

You do fight him in the LRSF, I believe. And I think you can encounter him in a specific safeguard, but I'm not too sure about that.

Sooner · 03-29-2009 06:26 AM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Good job again, Mr. G.

Wouldn't have thought of Ms. L as having quite the same mindset you do, but you sold me on it ... and I can actually see her not asking for help in learning how to shield her mind ...

Wouldn't have minded if you had mentioned how one of those guys she kept thinking about had a thing for the color blue ...

[/ QUOTE ]

Ms. Lib tends to be closer to the gutter in Grey's universe. I personally LIKE the interpretation. Her massive flaws make all her other behaviors seem more realistic in the context of a world filled with super heroes and villains.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ms. L actually is better than Malaise is seeing her here in my world. He just pressed a personal button on her (indeed, it would be a personal button on ANYONE), so she's very, VERY ticked off at the moment.

As for Malaise being ticked off at being cooped up in the Vindicators base, well...

Where the HELL is he after the Calvin Scott TF!? You see him ONCE on Redside, and that's only if you choose Scirocco as your patron! You also might get his help in the Blueside Mender Silos TF, or fight him once in the Redside Silos SF, but his role there was already covered in the comics. He's still in the Vindicators, but he's not doing anything!

Of course, as far from Statesman as I see Ms. Liberty, I still see her as not being one to waste resources, so... A paperwork shuffling he'll go... And how many people can do that, day-in, day-out, for, oh, three and a half, four, going on five years?

[/ QUOTE ]

You do fight him in the LRSF, I believe. And I think you can encounter him in a specific safeguard, but I'm not too sure about that.

[/ QUOTE ]

Third mission, with Swan and Valkyrie et al. There he is, with his dark phantom army. So, apparently, he's still spending some time with the vindicators

Read my stories!

Mr_Grey · 04-04-2009 03:33 PM

I want to be alone, so I head to where Im certain almost nobody will be: Boomtown. Its not so much that heroes dont want to help out here; its more or less that the city officials seem to have completely abandoned this place. Seeing the devastated urban center, with building leaning dangerously and smoke still billowing out of a few of them (though thats more likely due to the roving gangs squatting in them), its hard to imagine how a place like this could be restored.

I briefly consider the attention being paid to Overbrook as I pass the old Freedom Phalanx headquarters. Perhaps, with all the money being invested in there, and the recent interest in Eastgate, there just wasnt enough money to be invested in this place. Even if there were more money, chances were that it would go to the Folly, Terra Volta, or even Eden before it came here.

Im not saying that people havent tried to fix this place. Its just that every time they have, with what little resources were allotted to them, some lunatic would show up and smash the equipment. Even the Longbow security detail would wind up pummeled.

Looking up at the old headquarters, I sigh. Despite everything, its dilapidated state, its current crop of Outcast squatters and the fact that it was one of the first buildings decimated by the Rikti assault, it still evokes a feeling of Of

Hm. Its hard to describe. I think its hope. Its similar to the feeling I had when I got a hold of some of the pages of the Malleus Mundi, but Different.

One of the Outcasts gives me a funny look. Before he can do something stupid, however, one of his friends pulls him back to the group. I take that as my cue to leave.

This city certainly feels doomed. The Council uses this place as a training ground for troops who either havent been given Nosferatus weird super soldier serum or are just starting to get used to it. The Lost congregate here with alarming frequency and the Clockwork pillage the area for resources with which to construct more Clockwork for their lunatic King. Still, there's a sensation... Hope, I guess is the word I'm thinking of.

Hm. The Clockwork King. I shouldnt think of him like I do, I know. Frankly, hes more like me than Im comfortable thinking about. I would probably consider getting involved with helping rehabilitate him, but Shalice tells me its not my place. While I still think I should try to help somehow, she insists that I leave it to her and the young psychic, Penelope Yin.

As I arrive in the northern sections of the blasted cityscape, I can sense a strange psychic energy roaming the area. I know the presence Im feeling, its the King, but Ive never felt this kind of activity before. When I locate a number of the robots gathering large pieces of steel, I realize what Im witnessing.

Oh I murmur out loud, Another Babbage is getting built

Yes! I hear one of the smaller robots chirp near my foot, Now, please, sir, your presence is distracting us.

Sorry.

I draw my senses back within myself and start to walk away. I know better than to trouble the Clockwork hordes in the middle of a project, especially since the King just has to focus a little more and theyll be firing their own psychic spikes and lances after me.

A few minutes later, however, the Gear is at my ankles again. I feel a jolt and kick the offending little bugger away.

I warned you! it shouts, Your presence is distracting us from our work!

What are you talking about? Im almost a half mile away!

The Gear looks up at me quizzically, then looks back the way wed come. Its weird watching their facial expressions change, especially since they shouldnt. Theyre not articulated like that.

But it stammers, But I could have sworn That's not you back there?

"No, I can't leave my presence anywhere... Not in any deliberate sense, anyway."

"But it feels like you're still right there!"

Curious, I re-extended my senses. I could feel the roaming sensation of the Clockwork King on his construction site. I could also feel

Something else

Something different

Something familiar

Not something

Someone

No I muttered, Little gear I I need to look into this. Will your King mind if I head back to the site?

Some feel that its a delusion of the King that his Clockwork can work and that its just his psychic manipulation that keeps them going. Others believe that they are simply empowered by his energy and can maneuver autonomously afterward. Im not sure, either way, but its probably best to assume that the King sees his machines as subjects and citizens of his empire, and that they are individuals within it, regardless how connected they may be together. As such, I should never speak to one of his underlings as if they are him.

I the Gear almost doesnt have an answer for me, but stops and tilts its head for a few seconds as if its listening to something.

I can sense some kind of exchange. The Kings presence has extended over here somewhat.

Yes, sir, the Gear finally announces, My King has declared you may investigate. Just try not to interfere with the Babbage construction We would not want this to be as problematic as our Paladin construction.

I understand.

I wonder briefly why the Clockwork King has so much trouble constructing Paladin. I mean, its beyond just the heroes that try to stop it from happening. Even if the Kings robots succeed in building the giant war machine, it freaks out and starts storming through the city. The King seems only able to stop it in a small park in northern Kings Row before heroes come along to smash it to bits. One would think hed have figured out how to gain control of the monstrosity before it went on its rampage.

I find myself in the blasted remains of what looks to have been a large, complex building. The other psychic presence is wandering around in here, seemingly distraught. I cant get over the feeling that I know this person, but I cant place my finger from where or when.

Even still, if I knew this Guy (its definitely a masculine presence) I might have been a contributing factor to the rampant madness Im sensing in him. Strange whispers tingle at the edge of his presence, maddening images of a twisted landscape blink into my mind and fade away. I hope that its my time as an artist that keeps me from losing my cool as I witness them, and not some other form of madness taking hold.

Or maybe

Maybe its my growing dread that I know who this guy is thats shielding me from his madness.

Rounding the corner, my suspicions are confirmed. He doesnt realize Im here, his back is to me and hes never been that good at sensing other psychics (even those as powerful as Shalice). Hes been so mired in his own twisted view of the world that hes never really learned how to expand his knowledge of the power contained within his head.

Hello, Malaise, I murmur as I walk up behind him, What brings you to my world?

Hes startled at first. He didnt expect to be found this quickly At least, thats what I can most probably glean from the frantic thoughts hemorrhaging from his mind.

When he rounds on me, hes brought himself back together and I bite back a curse. He really is dressed JUST like me. Well, I cant be one-hundred percent accurate about that, for all I know, the colors could be diff-

Is this some kind of joke!? he shouts, Youre dressed JUST like me! Even the colors are the same!

Damn.

Wait He can tell the colors? He can see in color? This monster, with all the cruelty hes committed in his life, can see the world the way hes supposed to, the way everybodys supposed to.

Its not too hard to figure out his history. He probably murdered his father in his sleep, got interned in an asylum, and was transferred to various places as they couldnt handle his burgeoning psychic capabilities. Come the rise of the Praetorians, Mother Mayhem found him and cultivated his madness alongside his artistic talent

I HATE Spoiled brats.

Look, I say exasperatedly, Youre way out of your element here, you dont have a goon squad with you and the Clockwork King is not happy that youre here. I suggest you just calm down and give up or get back home however the Hell you got here in the first place. Simply put, youre not going to win this fight.

Oh yeah? he laughs maniacally and a number of beasts and monsters materialize next to him.

I recognize, through the shadowy alterations and extra horns and spikes, griffons, basilisks, gorgons, dragons, goblins The list of classic monstrosities goes on and on, ad infinitum.

Oh, come ON! I shout, This is the best you can do!? I mean, come on! Youre supposed to be an artist, but the best you can come up with is a bunch of old, tired childrens nightmares?

His confidence ebbs a little and I step forward, driving my shin through the face of the goblin. It shimmers and fades away.

I think I know why I mutter, I think I know why you dont know how to really scare someone

I feel weird I feel righteous But Its not Its not tinged the same way. Other times Ive felt like this, I still had some nagging doubts about what I was going to do, but now It was like the two halves of my conscience were in agreement.

Youve never seen real horror in your life, I declare, Youve never

I call forth an image I never hoped to see again in my life

Met dad.

A gargantuan, hulking form suddenly appears before the Praetorian Malaise. Its dressed in a simple outfit of a thick pair of brown boots, gray denim pants, a fraying, dark green (at least, it was supposed to be green; I've already covered how much trouble I have with that color) tweed jacket and a repeatedly torn black T-shirt stretched across a bloated belly. Sitting atop the shoulders of the behemoth was a bald head with no eyes and one wide mouth that was split into a terrifying grin that revealed a row of jagged teeth.

As Dad raised his fist to bring it down on my opposite, Malaise screamed in an unflattering high pitch and passed out as the fist dropped down on him. The illusory monsters hed summoned faded away and I dismissed Dad as soon as the last creepy crawly was gone.

That worked surprisingly well, I muttered as I approached the unconscious form, Lets see now

His uniform was apparently just like mine, save one thing There was a peculiar device clipped to his belt. As I removed it and looked it over, I saw what appeared to be the insignia of Antimatter. In all fairness, I cant be certain, but it looks like Positrons logo, only inverted.

I shake my head at the predictability of it and resume my inspection. Now, a lot of people would think I cant figure my way around a complex machine like this. However, after three years of pushing papers and plugging information through the Vindicators systems, I can assure you, I know my way through a computer At least, I can accomplish the basic functions.

As such, I was able to work my way through the devices operating system and read through the broken English that Antimatter used to explain the contraptions functions. When I realized what it was, I could feel a chill crawling up my spine.

What is it? the Gear that the King had apparently assigned to me chirped.

Its its an interdimensional transport device, I explained, I dont know how or why my opposite has one, but Apparently, its keyed to bring Praetorians here!

Praetorians? the Gear sounded confused, Hey! He looks like you!

Sometimes, I forget how little someone can actually know about the world. Ive had to read about so much stuff about the various organizations trying to conquer the world, though, it makes my head hurt.

Yes He He is me A different me. An evil me.

Really? Is there an evil Statesman?

Yeah. Lots of evil Not much good

"Oh..." the Gear actually sounds scared.

A plan is forming in my head. For a brief moment, that part of my conscience that raises doubts about my decisions flares up and I wonder if I should look into medication again. However, it quiets down quickly, exceptionally quickly. I must be riding a high from how well that Dad illusion worked on my opposite. Considering how terrifying it was when I first saw it, I shouldnt have been surprised.

Well, I withdraw my marking device from my belt and tag my fallen foe, In a moment, some Police Drones are gonna come out here and zap this guy to the Zig. If you dont mind, could you make sure he remains unconscious until they arrive?

Why cant you do it?

I know if I keep waiting on it, Ill lose my nerve. I cycle through the options of the personal interdimensional transporter and find the Return function.

Because I wont be here.

Before the Gear can ask what Im talking about, I press the image of a button on the screen and the world disappears in a flash of light.

My Stories

Look at that. A full-grown woman pulling off pigtails. Her crazy is off the charts.

Paradigm_Shift · 04-04-2009 03:45 PM

One Smooth Operator Indeed...

Intrigued. Continue.

BlueBattler · 04-04-2009 04:15 PM

Oh, very good ...

You know, now I would like to see how Malaise would get along with CK ...

My COX Fanfiction:

Blue's Assembled Story Links

Soul Train · 04-04-2009 09:36 PM

Gotta love the curious Clockwork... they're annoying... but also almost childish, in some ways.

"City of Heroes. April 27, 2004 - August 31, 2012. Obliterated not with a weapon of mass destruction, not by an all-powerful supervillain... but by a cold-hearted and cowardly corporate suck-up."

Hazmatter · 04-05-2009 11:23 AM

This actually makes a lot of sense. Considering psi attacks are pretty much the one glaring weakness in the Clockwork, I imagine the King would be a bit more wary and respectful toward psychics like Malaise and Sister Psyche, as long as they respect his domain in return. It's the heroes who jump right in and just start smashing his creations that he really despises.

There is an art, or, rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. --The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Paradigm_Shift · 04-05-2009 11:31 AM

[ QUOTE ]
This actually makes a lot of sense. Considering psi attacks are pretty much the one glaring weakness in the Clockwork, I imagine the King would be a bit more wary and respectful toward psychics like Malaise and Sister Psyche, as long as they respect his domain in return. It's the heroes who jump right in and just start smashing his creations that he really despises.

[/ QUOTE ]

Eh. I always thought of Malaise as an illusionist first and a psychic second, if at all. :/ His profile claims he doesn't even HAVE any psychic powers, but interestingly enough, dark blast and kinetics powers. Interesting interpretation on Grey's part though, it does tie in rather neatly with Malaise's bio.

Mr_Grey · 04-05-2009 12:11 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
This actually makes a lot of sense. Considering psi attacks are pretty much the one glaring weakness in the Clockwork, I imagine the King would be a bit more wary and respectful toward psychics like Malaise and Sister Psyche, as long as they respect his domain in return. It's the heroes who jump right in and just start smashing his creations that he really despises.

[/ QUOTE ]

Eh. I always thought of Malaise as an illusionist first and a psychic second, if at all. :/ His profile claims he doesn't even HAVE any psychic powers, but interestingly enough, dark blast and kinetics powers. Interesting interpretation on Grey's part though, it does tie in rather neatly with Malaise's bio.

[/ QUOTE ]

Reaching into somebody's head and yanking out what scares them certainly qualifies as psychic power in my book.

My Stories

Look at that. A full-grown woman pulling off pigtails. Her crazy is off the charts.