This is a short story I originally posted on Ficlets.com. Someone had come up with the idea of posting a superhero's obituary, and a bunch of us started running with the idea. Here's my contribution, for all my CoX compatriots. Enjoy!
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Vancouver, BC Superhero Ressurec-Ted (aka Ted Wilson) has died. Again.
He was found floating, face down, in a bathtub filled with Mountain Dew early Saturday morning. Police do not suspect foul play, but believe it was yet another successful suicide attempt. Police will have more information when he recovers some time late Tuesday afternoon.
Ressurec-Ted came into the public eye in the early 1700s as one of the worlds first superheroes. During the course of his career fighting crime, he has been shot, stabbed, hanged, burned at the stake, drawn and quartered, crucified, blown up, thrown into a volcano, run through a woodchipper, and, now, drowned. Some psychologists suggest his unnaturally long life is the root of his severe clinical depression, having been married to the same woman, Drew the Shrew, for the last 250 years.
Ted is survived by his wife, son Darren, and 157 grandchildren. Funeral services will be held Thursday. Ted will read the eulogy.
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If you liked this, I have more stories that are directly CoX related. If you would like to read them, PM me and I'll get you the link.
Posted
I think I cried laughing at this.
Stand UP.
FIGHT BACK!
Posted
man, that's halarious!
Posted
So. Incredibly. Awesome.
"Police believe that this was yet another succsesful suicide attempt, and will have more information when he recovers late Tuesday Afternoon."
This is a short story I originally posted on Ficlets.com. Someone had come up with the idea of posting a superhero's obituary, and a bunch of us started running with the idea. Here's my contribution, for all my CoX compatriots. Enjoy!
-----
Vancouver, BC Superhero Ressurec-Ted (aka Ted Wilson) has died. Again.
He was found floating, face down, in a bathtub filled with Mountain Dew early Saturday morning. Police do not suspect foul play, but believe it was yet another successful suicide attempt. Police will have more information when he recovers some time late Tuesday afternoon.
Ressurec-Ted came into the public eye in the early 1700s as one of the worlds first superheroes. During the course of his career fighting crime, he has been shot, stabbed, hanged, burned at the stake, drawn and quartered, crucified, blown up, thrown into a volcano, run through a woodchipper, and, now, drowned. Some psychologists suggest his unnaturally long life is the root of his severe clinical depression, having been married to the same woman, Drew the Shrew, for the last 250 years.
Ted is survived by his wife, son Darren, and 157 grandchildren. Funeral services will be held Thursday. Ted will read the eulogy.
-----
If you liked this, I have more stories that are directly CoX related. If you would like to read them, PM me and I'll get you the link.