1) take a break.
2)one does not do "art" for arts sake. one does it for the experience, ansd sometimes to see the reactions of others.
3) inspiration? movies, books, people in your life, other art (dont be jealous) see number 1.
4) most people starting in the plastic arts (art that can be held, or seen, not writing or music) often always have no references. things to draw from. to study. to animate. luckly, nowaday one has the internet for images to look over. (armor, metal gleam, people, fashion, cars, furniture, etc)
sounds like you have discovered you like artisitic endevors, but hate that their is no meaning behind the images, save for them to be "cool". i suggest looking up "illustrator", online for a definition.
lastly, you say you hate pity editors. but can you take the critics words? will you consider them? you may be right, you might be wrong. so alas, you will have to deal with that on your own.
good luck.
Maybe *you* don't do art for art's sake, but I do. It burns in my soul until I can't stand it any longer and erupts through my hands onto the page. Regardless of what form it takes, it cries out to have a life of it's own. Everyone has a different method and reason for doing art.
OP obviously has issues with needing an audience, so I suggest to him that he finds one. DA is a good place to start, but the site is so huge that it's hard to find any intimacy there. Instead, I'd find a forum like this one to nest into. Connecting with people on a more personal level is likely what you're craving.
In the end though, it's really up to you to keep on going. The way the world works is quite upsetting and people are inherently nasty. If you rely solely on others for support, you may as well stop right now. The need to create has to come from inside and burn with desire to be born through your hands. It's nice to have an audience to share your art with, but they cannot be the sole reason you do it, nor can they be the sole measure of it's worth.
Find out why you enjoy doing art and focus on that. Every artist goes through their own trials at some point. How far they make it past them is the measure of their spirit.
http://www.virtueverse.net/wiki/Massacre_Melanie -the original Fire/Dark Corruptor -
http://boards.cityofheroes.com/showthread.php?t=115217
The Guide to BURN
You may want to try this site: Wet Canvas.com
They've grown into a monster forum, but the community is all about supporting itself... there are pros and beginners. I myself use to moderate for them when their numbers were only 30K.
But they have sections on drawing, classical art, digital art, and illustration as well as fantasy/sci fi. They also have in depth critiques, and a general chat area.
If you'd like a challenge, they have weekly and monthly art challenges that are not about winning, but about joining. I am actually the proud father of these challenges (FNDs if you care to look) which are now called All Medium Art Events. I see now they have specific watercolor challenges too.
Some of the forums are self contained: ie glass and watercolor, people who never venture outside of their comfort zones. And if you wanted a heated debate, there is a debate forum that will take on any topic.
There are also forums for abstract art, for sculpture, for almost every medium... You may find a home there, but like any place you only get what you put into it. I actually found my wife through this place, well she found me. 
Good luck!
LJ
That's an interesting forum LJ... I may have to give that a shot myself. >.<
A Warrior's Friend: ID 335212 - Help Infernal save Valkyrie from Battle Maiden.
Above Mars Part 1: The Wellington: ID 159769 - Save Mars by destroying a monstrous battleship from the inside!
>.> My DA page, where I attempt to art.
It was basically my first online home from late 2000 to 2004. Some very good memories there, and of course some very bad memories there... At the height of it before I left, the wife and I were moderating 5 forums a piece, and it was very demanding!!! Especially since we were both volunteers... aka insane! 
But they have a new owner now, and a partnership with Northern Light books, so for a beginning artist it's a good start.
Sounds like what those of us in the alternative religious community (i.e. pagans, wiccans, etc.) call a "Dark Night of the Soul". It's where a person basically loses connection with the powers that be and why they began that path in the first place.
And creativity and inspiration are definately things I would consider sacred and magickal.
Sounds to me like it's time for you to take a sort of quest to figure out where things turned for you. Look inside. Meditate upon your past works. Let the emotions that caused you to create them in the first place flow into you. It may help you to find that bond with your creativity that you lost. It may not be the same as when you left it (it rarely is; art is ever changing), but it will be just as vibrant as you remember.
I know it may sound like I'm trying to sell you something. I'm not. I've been where you are. You aren't alone. You never were.
=^..^=. o O (Nothing to see. Just a cat.)
(_ _)~
*Recipient of a Sentai Sage thumbs up of approval.
..v
(==)b
Try this:
You say you're feeling apathetic, that there's a wall in your way.
Draw the wall.
Draw the frustration, the inadequacy, the apathy... draw it all into that wall.
Then shred the ****er.
"City of Heroes. April 27, 2004 - August 31, 2012. Obliterated not with a weapon of mass destruction, not by an all-powerful supervillain... but by a cold-hearted and cowardly corporate suck-up."
Ya know... that's a good idea there.
We had an exercise like that in Art Class; and I've seen similar things on DeviantArt that have actually come out very well... you just have to channel that frustration into your work.
A Warrior's Friend: ID 335212 - Help Infernal save Valkyrie from Battle Maiden.
Above Mars Part 1: The Wellington: ID 159769 - Save Mars by destroying a monstrous battleship from the inside!
>.> My DA page, where I attempt to art.
There was this one exercise I did a when I first started out trying to draw using my "mind's eye" instead of using references.
Get a blank sheet of paper, draw about 20-30 dots in random places (close your eyes if you have to). Then beside each dot (in random order) and make these relatively far apart, write a number beside each of them. Then, LIGHTLY, draw a line and connect the dots in the order that you numbered them. With that as a starting point, see if you can "see" an image.
[ QUOTE ]
There was this one exercise I did a when I first started out trying to draw using my "mind's eye" instead of using references.
Get a blank sheet of paper, draw about 20-30 dots in random places (close your eyes if you have to). Then beside each dot (in random order) and make these relatively far apart, write a number beside each of them. Then, LIGHTLY, draw a line and connect the dots in the order that you numbered them. With that as a starting point, see if you can "see" an image.
[/ QUOTE ]
Okay J, you must "share" the drugs next time, I repeat "sh-are" them... lol sorry should have drawn this as a city of nuts toon...
*Pokes Story*
What you're experiencing is normal, and nothing to worry about. The best comparison I can manage would be my experience in learning to play the piano. I've got a very, well, mechanical sort of style to playing. My songs can be as devoid of expression as the face of a pro Poker player (lol), but sometimes inspiration comes and a piece of my personality, my soul, comes to light in music.
But enough about me.
It sounds like you've plateaued. Anyone, in any occupation or hobby, will plateau sometimes. When you first get there, the setting before you may seem like an endless wasteland. The people that you see around you all seem to be climbing and climbing, constantly bettering themselves, while you feel that you're wrestling to even hold your ground.
That's a trick of perception. As you make your creative effort and expand yourself, the entire struggle remains with you. Every hour lost from sleep as you grasp at the threads of your mind and try to knit them into something coherent, every passing second where you hadn't yet made the breakthrough. It's easy to reach the conclusion that you're not trying hard enough, or that you lack the talent of your peers when all of this is with you - but what do you see of them? You see many people pouring out their new ideas in colour and lines and ink and pixels, and are lost in the endless maze of other people's inspiration. You probably don't see their sleepless hours trying to grasp at the threads of their mind and knit them into something coherent, or the passing minutes to hours to days where they seem to be stuck in a rut, struggling with an idea yet not producing. It's there for everyone, often at different times.
I'm reminded of High School, in a typing class. My clicks on the keyboard were slow and arhythmic, yet all around me there was a constant thunder of hundreds of keystrokes from my dozens of peers. The class as a whole seemed to be typing a hundred times faster than I was, and it was discouraging.
But what I was hearing was just dozens of people, slowly and methodically clicking the keys as they learned their way around them. Each struggle was internal, and most likely half of them felt and heard the same thing I did, while the other half didn't care and was aimlessly banging at keys. In the end, I became a pretty decent typist, and you could argue that I'm better off for it.
Still, for all of this, it seems you've got a lucky path through the wall of self doubt. You say you can write and draw for yourself - so do that, first. Write something that you enjoy, or rather a whole bunch of things that you enjoy. Find someone that you can trust to share it with, and do that.
I'll admit that I can't understand or fully appreciate the struggle you go through with Asperger's Syndrome, but I can promise you that the best solution is never to shut oneself away from the rest of the world.
So, one lonely guy to another - cheer up.
[ QUOTE ]
Then shred the ****er.
[/ QUOTE ]
Man, I hate quadasteriskers! 
I've been having the exact same problems with my art and creativity (and life in general). I just recently started doing a little better though. I haven't drawn anything for quite some time but I have been doing some other things like making wallpapers and banners with Macromedia Fireworks and teaching myself Photoshop. When I was younger I would draw out all my sadness and lonliness now I put it into CoH. Sometimes it's not enough though. I've made some great friends since I've been here and I've just found a forum that I want to call home amongst all that others. It's never a good idea to shut yourself off from the world because you need to interact with people. You say that you don't have anyone around you, you could find some people here or on the site that LadyJ mentioned. I'm going to check that one out myself.
Online friends to support you are just as good as friends where you are to support you. Do try and get out and meet people though.
As far as inspiration to draw goes, just seeing pictures from other artists is inspiring to me and I want to get back into it. I don't think it's something that you should try to force. I think that if you just let it flow and draw whats in your heart that you'll appreciate it more and won't need anyone elses approval.
Also since it seems we're going through the same thing you may want to consider medical help for depression and any suicidal tendencies that you may have developed. I just recently started taking anti-depressants and they do help some. You still need to talk to people though. Don't think that you're the only one going through something like this because you're not. Just try and take things one day at a time. And seriously consider the medical attention and possibly medication.
I have very little faith and trust also. It's very had trying to get it back. I don't consider myself a Christian or anything like that but there is one scripture that I love to hear and makes me feel that all the love that I have inside is worth something. Well it's actually the entire chapter but this is the last line...
1 Corinthians 13:13
"And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love."
So just take a break and don't force anything. Just let it flow on it's own.
I wasn't actually expecting anything when I wrote this. I was feeling trapped. My mind was in a bad place and I needed to communicate this to someone. With all of the responses so far I'm feeling very touched by everything that has been written here. It gives me a feeling of hope for the future. It gives me a feeling that I can still move forward. I want to thank everyone here for all their kindness. I never expected this much from everyone and to be shown this much kindness gives me a warm feeling inside.
*big hugs for the Persona* >.<
You're good enough, smart enough, and doggone it, people like you! <o.@> (And no, I'm not mocking you; thats just the damn truth!)
A Warrior's Friend: ID 335212 - Help Infernal save Valkyrie from Battle Maiden.
Above Mars Part 1: The Wellington: ID 159769 - Save Mars by destroying a monstrous battleship from the inside!
>.> My DA page, where I attempt to art.
Speaking of the future, that remided me of something else that I wanted to add earlier but I didn't. It's another scripture
Matthew 6:34
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about it's own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."
One day at a time 
Damn right there Inphinite. <x.x> its hard to remember that though sometimes. So very very easy to think of the crap that's coming later <x,x>
I already find myself worried about getting old. ... I'm 24. <x.x>;
A Warrior's Friend: ID 335212 - Help Infernal save Valkyrie from Battle Maiden.
Above Mars Part 1: The Wellington: ID 159769 - Save Mars by destroying a monstrous battleship from the inside!
>.> My DA page, where I attempt to art.
Don't I know it. I'm 24 too. I used to get sooooo stressed out worrying about what I was gonna do and where I was going. Right now I'm content with just going.
Through all the crap I've been through and how close I've come to quitting again and again this community has provided me with much needed support to help keep me going despite everything. I want to thank those here for all your help. Those who have give given me kind words with honest intent behind them, those who have listened to my incessant whining, those who have given me a shoulder to lean on when I needed it most, I want to thank you all. For years I have felt like I've been trapped in a limbo from which I cannot escape, my life stagnant, my will being sapped away little by little.
There have been several things that have helped me through all of this. I feel now I can escape this prison and move forward again. This game has inspired some great characters and ideas, if only I had the time and energy to devote to them and give them the love they deserve. The people of this art community, in game and in these forums have provided me with support as I've needed it. The creative culture of Japan with its plethora of manga and anime as well as the beauty of the country and the people themselves have given me a deep well of hope to draw from when I need to, inspiration for my ideas, a desire to improve myself and my ideas, as well as a goal for the future.
It may not be in the very near future, but I hope soon that I have something I can show to everyone here that has helped me, to show that their kindness helped me to move forward. Something more than words of thanks, but a display of tangible results.
Good luck man <^-^> Just keep at it; it's the only way to succeed!
Also, I highly recommend that WetCanvas website if you get the chance; it really is a great place, I've been on there for a week now and have gotten some really nice support.
A Warrior's Friend: ID 335212 - Help Infernal save Valkyrie from Battle Maiden.
Above Mars Part 1: The Wellington: ID 159769 - Save Mars by destroying a monstrous battleship from the inside!
>.> My DA page, where I attempt to art.
[ QUOTE ]
Good luck man <^-^> Just keep at it; it's the only way to succeed!
Also, I highly recommend that WetCanvas website if you get the chance; it really is a great place, I've been on there for a week now and have gotten some really nice support.
[/ QUOTE ]
Ditto.
I wish I had more time to really check out that wetcanvas site but work has been really hectic lately. 
My feet hurt...
Since my time here in the forums I've been trying to get back into my artwork and my writing. It's been a long and frustrating experience and as it stands now I still have nothing to show for my efforts. Maybe I should reword that to something closer to my lack of effort as it seems to suit the situation more accurately. I've discovered that I've been defeated even before I begin. It seems that I lack the motivation I need to put pencil to paper once again. I've lost it it seems. Somewhere during the time I last set pencil to paper and now I let my inspiration slip away.
Each of the times I've attempted to get back into my creativity I've been met with the same old wall of self-doubts, frustrations, anxieties and other negative crap. With a little motivation I could probably find a way to get past all that. Recently I finally realized that that was exactly what I was missing.
I have no external supports. No one to encourage me and inspire me to continue. I have to find the will to continue within myself. I find though I've made a bad habit of seeing myself through the eyes of those around me. I don't know who I am. Often lost and confused, searching for myself I tend to look to those around me to get an idea of who or what I am. And that's where the problem begins. Those around me paint a very sad and lonely picture for me.
It's the same with my art and writing. My creativity is usually met with apathy. Those few times when someone does say something positive too often I feel that their words are given to me out of pity and not because they actually care about my designs.
I don't know what to do now. it feels like another part of myself that I've lost and will take a lifetime of effort to regain. It's like all the friendships I had with girls when I was younger. All my friends were girls with a few exceptions. Then came along that stupid developmental cycle where the genders separate and I lost all my friends. When puberty came around and a new interest in the other gender came around, by that time I was so deeply entrenched in social anxiety and other problems that the damage done has since prevented me from ever being able to reconnect with that which I lost.
Why do I bring this up? Because it feels like this is what has happened with my creativity as well. If something doesn't change then there is no point in me trying to continue to struggle against something I can't change. Still, this challenge depends less on those outside myself. I can still write and draw just for myself. The problem lies with the fact that I want to share my creativity with other, rather than just daydream and keep my dreams to myself. But why should I share when the world leaves me feeling day in and day out like no one really cares except me?
With my Asperger's Syndrome it may very well be that I'd be much better of shutting myself off from the outside world and living alone. Why is it that I feel I need to have to share myself and my life with others? I don't understand it. I'm tired of reaching out my hand trying to grasp what little bit of life I can to be burned over and over again. I'm tired of not being able to trust anyone around me. I'm tired of bearing a heart full of love with no on to share it with. Even love can turn to a bitter poison if you don't let it flow.
Even when people still continues to treat me as less than human I could still create something and people would suddenly pay attention, pay me compliments and I'd feel a little more alive than dead. When did I lose that too? When did that become another mirror of the emptiness inside myself?
I'm tired of all of this. I need to find something that brings light into my life again. Something that maybe even can connect me with the outside world again. I wanted it to be my ideas and my creativity, but it's become too painful. I suppose it's okay now if I quit. No one was expecting anything out of me anyway. No one will have any less of an opinion of me than they do now. So now it's back to the day to day grind of living until something changes to lighten up my life. I don't ever expect that to happen though. I have no faith left in the world around me. So it's back to playing City of Heroes to fill up time in my life, watching anime every now and again to keep my spirits up and working to help pay off all the debts I acquired trying to make something out of my miserable life.