Sure. Here's my attempt:
"I don't know how things happened like this. I mean, I didn't even believe devils existed, until it all took place. I'd been a huge member of the Society for Creative Anachronism for years, and when I finally found the *sword,* I was so happy.
Of course, no one told me that the sword as possessed. The moment I took hold of it and removed it from its sheath, the devil imprisoned inside escaped into my head. He plagued me with nightmares and horrible headaches, until I couldn't take it any more. I told him to shut up, and to stay out of my life.
Little did I know that standing up for myself like that caused a psychic backlash that killed the devil. He still exists, sort of, as an echo. And now I have full access to its powers. I'd always wanted to be a hero. I guess I get to be one now."
I'll give it a go, haven't had much sleep, it might be jumbled:
"They called it the Sword of the Abyss, an ancient lost relic rumored to have been used against Angels in the War over heaven. If you believe that sort of thing, I never did, until I found it.
I was slowly digging my way through some Mayan temple Ruins in Guatemala, looking for some glyphs about religious rituals when I stumbled and came crashing through a thin floor into a underground cavern.
There was a faint red glow coming from the corner, dark red, like phosphorescent blood, it was coming from a crystal box, held high on a pedestal.
I don't remember much after reaching in that box, only a violent tremor running through my body and then nothing.
My researh assistants later told me that I was out for three days, with a high fever, and a death grip on the sword.
When I awoke, I wasn't alone in my head, it felt like almost an echo of my own thoughs were being fouled then sent back to me, they were thoughts, in my head, but they weren't mine.
His name was Asb'el, a lower demon from the 6th circle of hell, who had been imprisoned in his own sword when he was defeated in battle. He had been waiting for four thousand years.
He had hoped to fully posessed me, but had made a mistake, and had underestimated my will and my drive to live.
Now I hope to use him like he had tried to use me, redeem the both of us with the acursed blade that never leaves my side."
I know it is a bit long, I got carried away, take what you like.
@Mechaniker
Official Old Angry German Guy of CoV.
My Characters: http://boards.cityofheroes.com/showthread.php?t=247787
dont settle yet.. I'll write up a 1023 here in the morning, see what I can come up with.
There may be copyright issues with this one:
"In red-est day, in magenta night,
no evil shall escape my slice!
Let those who worship evil's might, no, No, Shut up! I MUST SAY IT!
beware my power.. my broadsword's delight!
Ha! Take that devil!"
Possibly not what you were looking for...
Are you looking for something like my character Monster Child and the demon inside, named Vulgara? Because I can totally do something like that for you.
The Alt Alphabet ~ OPC: Other People's Characters ~ Terrific Screenshots of Cool ~ Superhero Fiction
Wow, I just read all of what you all have read, and thats really good. I can't choose which one to use, so I think I might take parts of both and combine it. I'll also wait to see if anyone else has anything to input and maybe add it in too.
"Who would've thought a walk in the park could imperil your immortal soul? Not I.
"Friday, July 13th, 2007: the day Hell came calling.
"I went to the corner store for a paper. I crossed the park near my home, never suspecting that the Circle of Thorns were performing dark rituals there. I was overpowered by their sycophants, forced to become a channel to the netherworld. A hero heard my cries and rescued me.
"Unfortunately, the ritual was complete and a demon had entered my body. Fueled by anger and what Azuria tells me is an indominatable will, I beat the devil back and retook control of myself.
"Now he obeys my will; his powers are mine to command. Now evildoers will pay."
This may need to be shorter -- I didn't count the characters. But there's enough slack in there to do that.
The Alt Alphabet ~ OPC: Other People's Characters ~ Terrific Screenshots of Cool ~ Superhero Fiction
My name is Nimuen. I was once Devil to the First Lord, servant to the Master of Boundless Hell. But my Master bid me enthrall the soul of a young, foolish man, who meddled in the affairs of greater beings; I failed. I misjudged this mortal, the strength of his will and of his soul. A more wicked cut still, for my failure the First Lord imprisoned me inside this mortal, and banished me from his radiance. This man, called Sythius, has stolen knowledge from me, to use against his enemies. But I am a being beyond time, and he does not know ever power at my command. I now use this mortal shell, as he uses me, to enact my revenge. To bring down the plots of my once Lord, and all his agents in this world.
(I pictured the Devil inside Sythius as a female, something about the dichotomy of having truly twin souls inside one body (good/evil/male/female/mortal/eternal etc) strikes me as
right. Beyond that it allows a lot more versatility in roleplaying the character, if you are into that, as the full range of emotions are possible. That being said, I made sure that nothing in here, apart from the name, sounds even remotely feminine(I hope) as you may have had something different in mind.)
(p.s. The paragraph is only 708 characters, meaning you still have another 315 characters or so to fiddle with.)
[ QUOTE ]
My name is Nimuen. I was once Devil to the First Lord, servant to the Master of Boundless Hell. But my Master bid me enthrall the soul of a young, foolish man, who meddled in the affairs of greater beings; I failed. I misjudged this mortal, the strength of his will and of his soul. A more wicked cut still, for my failure the First Lord imprisoned me inside this mortal, and banished me from his radiance. This man, called Sythius, has stolen knowledge from me, to use against his enemies. But I am a being beyond time, and he does not know ever power at my command. I now use this mortal shell, as he uses me, to enact my revenge. To bring down the plots of my once Lord, and all his agents in this world.
[/ QUOTE ]
I really like the 'point of view' swap from the hero to the imprisoned devil. I love that the devil is agreeing with being a hero, but for only temporary reasons. Role play here is very rich. Well done!
(its kinda my thing ;P Im just not really good at the long elaborate things that go on in the RP forum, so I avoid it 
)
I would like some help with my in-game story. I have a general idea, powerset, and concept, however I am not good at expressing it through words in a story. The basic story is a BS/Dark scrapper hero named Sythius, who was a normal man that got possessed by a devil, but being strong willed, took control of the demon and now uses its dark powers to fight on the side of good.
Could any of you talented writers take that and turn it in to a cool, good sounding story that would fit in the in-game ID box? Or at least gives some tips? I could really use some help. Thanks!