((You could have just asked John Ballard on the 100th floor.
I mean, he DOES work there.))
Experiment 2.0: "When I was about... Fourteen? I had the biggest crush on a girl. Of course, this was when I was very interested in my upcoming humor-glands. It is an actual glands, y'know. Anyway, you wanna know my pickup line? 'Hey Kelly, I see your playing cards. Y'wanna fold with me?'"
*Awkward silence.*
"...Yeah, I kind of got beaten to hell that day... Who knew that you could go all ninja-like with playing cards?"
Blind Messenger: "...I can't see. Seriously, what do you want from me?"
Jenny Ballard/Void Bird: "...Don't tell John, but I programmed PDA's personality... Hehe... I love that thing."
Earth Titania: "I know you people can't really tell, but me and John are british. We usually hide our accents though... However... It DOES help with girls..."
Experiment: "Speak for yourself..."
Cedric Grey: "Okay... What I'm looking for in a woman is about five feet tall, brunette, curvy... What? That's not what this is? I have to confess something? Aw, what a gyp... Okay... I... I'm kind of lonely, I guess..."
Nester Durj: "Sometimes, I purposely avoid healing my comaptriots if they prove to be snotty. You knwo the ones I'm talking about! Those gooners who like to talk mad [censored] like, 'I've been doing this since the Beta Project.' Uh-huh, gooner, and why is it that you haven't even got a three-month badge!/ I-"
Cedric suddenly wraps one of his arms around Nester's neck and drags him away from the camera.
Cedric Grey: "Hokay, partner, nap time for you..."
"Nester: "Urk... Grgle..."
Sarah "Snuffy" Grey: "I love getting inside bad guys' heads and leaving a bit of a tweaked memory in there. Like when a Council trooper thinks of his 'first time,' I turn the girl's face into Statesman's. Tee-hee!"
Kipland Durj: "I got nothin' that'll top that. I don't think anybody does."
My Stories
Look at that. A full-grown woman pulling off pigtails. Her crazy is off the charts.
The Lord of Rags: (Resident Tramp/Hobo/Psycopathic slaughter machine)
"............................................"
Charles Dark Aura: (The local *Oh Christ, it's him, run.*)
"I'm a fully qualified brain surgeon, I have seven certificates of merit from Stanford College, I work at the Sharkhead Island Black Heart Hospital, and I work part-time at the Facemaker. Say, that's a nasty looking mole there, mind if I take a closer look...?" *Pulls out a scalpel*
The Nocturn of Agony: (Local Mercenary for Hire)
"I used to be a famous singer in Italy and Greece. How else do you think I shape all my damn attacks, through lip syncing? Also...I used to have a bit of a relationship with someone...Erm...But I can't really control myself in...Certain situations...And I kinda...Killed him...By accident in bed when I wasn't concentrating and my radiation emission went out of control..."
Lord Kuro: (Local Husk Corporation Representative)
"Here at Husk Corporation, we are devoted to making sure your loved ones get the funeral they deserve. We are a non-profit organization, and we offer burials, cremations, and special requests, all free of charge. Eh? What? What do you mean I've got red on me? What? No, that's not blood. Hey wait, no, don't open that door..."
Lord H'taed: (Local Inter-Dimensional vacationer)
"Well...I don't come here THAT often...I've only been here twice! What do you mean I've been here thirty six times?"
*pop* (Another Lord H'taed pops into existance)
"Erm...Well I havn't at any rate...YET, I mean...My boss kinda picks a random timeline and just tosses me there..."
Future H'taed: "Funny, I actually remember this..."
The Psycho Fear: *Retired* (Local 100% fatal plague)
"We don't really have anything against you delectable life-forms, but we need to eat you know! Back in Paragon City, we couldn't infect anyone without having every damn hero in the zone descending on our manifestation like it was a badge monster! Here, nobody gives a damn who we kill. So we like it here. Oh, and by the way...We're going to have to kill you now..."
El D: "I was actually going to become a villian before comming into Paragon City, but then I found out that Arachnos dosen't cover dental plans."
-awkward silence-
"What? If your jaw gets smashed by some Tanker with Energy Melee, you'r gonna need a damn-good dentist"
-Massive Laughs from Audience, but some in the back dont laugh-
El D mutters "Must remeber to kill those guys..." 
Global - @El D
Servers - Protector
Quantum Spellbinder (Magic Defender, Virtue): "The way I ended up in Paragon City ... Well, I'm a wizard. And I specialize in manipulating subatomic particles and the forces that act on them. I'm from a parallel universe, by the way. And I thought I had figured out a way to use the, what do they call it here? What's-his-name's Uncertainty Principle ... Heidelberg, or something? So I thought I could use that to teleport. And I was right, well, sort of. I was trying to just teleport a few feet. But when the scenery around me changed I knew something went wrong. It turned out I had somehow put myself in a parallel universe. That was ... wow, that was embarrassing. Or I might have gone back in time a few dozen millennia, but I think the language would have changed more. Anyway, I'm going to be a lot more careful before I try to teleport again. Well, unless my curiosity gets the better of me. Which it usually does."
Evitron: "...What? AGAIN? Did I not just do this for you last week?...Fine, fine...*ahem* I was actually meant to be the main supervillain on the show Heroes, but they figured too many people would call me goth or something because of all the black I wear. So they fired me. Whoopdeefreakingdoo."
Venusian Defender (Hero on Virtue): I have, a confession to make. Venusian Defender, is my real name, seriously
Cap'n Deadheart (Villain on Liberty): I'm not really a captain, I don't even have a boat! (/cries)
Psycho13 (Triumph): "I'm not really crazy. I passed my Freedom Corps psychiatric evaluation with flying colors. This whole 'N'rah! I want to cut you' thing do? It's just an act!"
My Stories
Look at that. A full-grown woman pulling off pigtails. Her crazy is off the charts.
BDSM Avenger(Freedom): I'm not really into bondage. The name just kinda stuck, and I worked a persona around it. *shrug*
Joey Sporgenza (Virtue): You know, before I joined the Family, I wanted to be a broadway dancer.
Infinity Zero(Hero on Pinnacle) WellyaseetherewasthisexperimentIwasdoinganditgavem ethesefreakypowerswhenigotbackfromthedimensionaldo orwayIsteppedthroughjusttoseewhattheothersidelooke dlike.Whattyameanineedtotalkslowercuzyacan'tunders tandme?Icanunderstandmejustfinemaybeyoushouldliste nfasteryathink?
Marshall Stack(Hero on Pinnacle) ...............Well(sonic blast destroys everything in the room, interviewer looks shaken with their hair swept backwards at a 90 degree angle) ((he can't shut his sonic powers off))
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Dechs Kaison See, it's gems like these that make me check Claws' post history every once in a while to make sure I haven't missed anything good lately. |
All on Virture
Blazing Gunn (H, AR/Fire Blas): "The best part about being a living oven? You can eat raw steak and by the time it's in your stomach it's already medium rare."
October Raven (Dark/Dark Scrapper): "I'm not a goth and I hate it when people say I am."
Rensa Dorei (Claws/Ninja Stalker): "Assasination isn't the only thing I use my claws for. They're GREAT for making French Fries!"
Fallen Rock Star (Grav/Kin Controller): " 'Kill Skuls' makes a GREAT album name..."
Major Rin Kirajin (AK/Traps Corrupter): "Why do people think because I'm a cyborg I'm a homicidal killing machine. I mean, I am, but it's still presumptious."
Ash to Ashes (SS/Fire Brute): "As much as I hate the Carnival of Shadows for making me one of their strongmen and leaving me to die... I have to say they're still kinda hot."
Traflagar (SS/Invuln Tank): "I swear if another one of these bloody Americans offer to get me some fish and chips I'm going to go mad"
Angekettet (Ninja/Regen Stalker): "Why do people hate sewers so much? Nice and moist, that soothing scent, and all the rats you can eat! What more would you want?"
SHONEN the Anime Man (En/En Blaster): "I hate people calling me Goku. I HATE Dragon Ball Z. It's so STUPID."
QU33N-B (Robot/Traps MM): "I_AM_QU33N-B_PLEASE_INSERT_GIRDER"
[ QUOTE ]
*SNIP*...Major Rin Kirajin (AK/Traps Corrupter): "Why do people think because I'm a cyborg I'm a homicidal killing machine. I mean, I am, but it's still presumptious."...*SNIP*
[/ QUOTE ]
((Most definately my favourite.))
((The page is broken. Somebody fix it.))
Brain Stormy D.((Hero from Guardian)): People often ask what the D stands for. "Dragon?" "Demon?" No, nothing like that. It stands for *clap* DY-NO-MITE!
Model Robot((Hero from Liberty)): If you must know my secret identity...I was the Lindbergh baby.
Werner von Skülgrab((Villain from Virtue)): I don't care vhat anyvun says...German is a beautiful langvage. Verständlich? Oops, I sink I spat on ze camera.
Autonomous Prime((Hero from Virtue)): I am indeed made from parts of Nemesis robots, but I am far more powerful than any of them. That is because my red paint job makes me 3 times faster.
Formerly known as Stormy_D
We at the Paragon Times have spent many months interviewing various superpowered people, hero and villain alike. Over the course of those months, we have uncovered many details of the superpowered mindset; the kind of raw, powerful stories that even the most determined gossip magazines have failed to obtain. Without further ado, we give you a glimpse into the City of Secrets.
((This thread is meant to be like that sketch on Late Night With Conan o'Brien, where celebrities reveal silly nonsensical "facts" about themselves. Both Heroes and Villains are allowed to have their absurd stories printed here, whether factual or fictional. Following is a few examples using some of my characters.))
Nitro Rickshaw((Hero from Victory)): Not many people know this, but I was slated to make a cameo in the second season of Cop Rock. But the show got cancelled before that could happen. I guess there's no accounting for taste...stupid Nielsen viewers.
Shadow Rickshaw((Hero from Victory)):I grew up in a poor neighborhood. We didn't live near any nuclear facilities, and we didn't have that great of a school system. These factors contributed to some kids making desperate attempts to get superpowers. For example, a kid who lived next door tried irradiating some paint chips in the microwave and eating them. Regretfully, the only thing he recieved was the power of telepathic annoyance...and lead poisoning.
Autonomous Prime((Hero from Virtue)): Some people may know that I lived as a Bigfoot for over 30 years when my first hero career didn't pan out in the early 1970's. What they don't know is that it actually inspired a TV series. However, the TV executives and the writers working for them butchered the premise to the point of unrecognizability. The result was a flop called "Bigfoot and Wildboy".
Aggressor((Villain from Virtue)): Whenever I hear about a walk to fight breast cancer, I always participate. Not because I'm an altruist or anything; I just really like boobs.
Formerly known as Stormy_D