[ QUOTE ]
- Auto-controlling. This was the ultimate hardest thing for me to come to grips with was the takeover of your characters by other people. The RPs I had participated in the past, this was a grave no-no. I even yelled at someone the first time it happened to me here. (I'm sorry about that by the way! ;_; ) I have since gotten used to it, but just keep in mind that it can be disconcerting to newcomers. I'm only glad that mostly everyone is fairly good about it, which relieves me greatly.
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I am assuming you mean when someone progresses a scene that your character is in by maybe having them say something or perform some action. This can be necessary to keep the story moving, otherwise others might be 'standing in statis' for days until you post again.
This is acceptable as long as the writer doesn't have your character doing something inappropriate or out-of-character for them (like say having your pacifist character suddenly shooting innocent people). Then you have a reason to complain.
Were I come from keeping up the pace was very important, a RP being inactive for a week was considered a dead RP and almost never finished. People get tired waiting for a certain player or a GM to get them to the next chapter and would either abandon the RP when they got tired of checking the forums or just move it along on their own regardless if they knew what the player had in mind or not.
Then again those RPs were generally fast-paced to begin with, most stories were meant to take place in the course of a single day or night in some race against time.
Heh, I used to be in an RP community where if you auto-controlled, you were pretty much assaulted with shouts.
Of course, I managed to do that once before I didn't want to do it again.
And now, with people doing it all over the place here, it kind of annoys me, but hey, I get used to it.
But what really annoys me is when people make my characters say stuff they would never say, like "Wow, how did you do that?!" when someone uses a blast of energy. If it is Experiment 2.0, and the energy is from some technological device, he probably knows what made it.
And, before anyone decides to critique me, please note that I know I am not good at roleplaying, that is why I try and join as many RP's as possible, that I can keep up with, so I can improve.
However, you guys, I could never RP as well as you do. Amazing characters, personalities, and limitations.
Yes, I actually said "Amazing limitations."
Honestly, I find it hard to find an RP that has a hero or villain having limitations. Right now, I know my hero and villains' limitations. However, you will probably have to read the RP's I am in to find out.
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Heh, I used to be in an RP community where if you auto-controlled, you were pretty much assaulted with shouts.
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Like I said, it depends on how you do it.
Most people will be fine with it as long as you don't break their character. However there are always some who will scream and holler if you so much as write that their character blinked.
Fact is that no one likes waiting around on the account of one person who for reasons unknown has not posted for over a day or so. You either auto-control a bit or continue on like they ceased to exist.
There is a saying that when time is short, it is easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.
I just don't like it when people are replying in quick succession, yet people find a need to control another person's character. But then, that is just me.
I suppose I am just used to one kind of RP. I really need to get used to this one though.
Your RPs must have been set at a far slower pace. For most of us quick is not only the norm but is expected.
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Plauge, the one thing I have for you is. when you add some spaces between paragraphs and seperate your ideas a bit.
It may just be me but when I look at yours posts for too long the words seem to blend in making a little dificult to read.
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I agree here Plague, I really like your writing and the detail you add about the Asian culture/history is impressive, but with the spacing I have difficulty reading it sometimes.
I also really like how you write Tara's speech phonetically. Something I have trouble thinking about that let alone attempting it myself.
((Placed crosshair on self))
I am new to this stuff and when I started (was that a month ago?) I made some big mistakes. I hope that I am doing better now, but know I have lots of room to improve.
HaloInc
Triumph:
Heroes: Lady Halifax, Miss Kia, WhiteLotus, Agent Immolate, Lady Empathy, Sylence Fyredancer, Maiden of Fire
Villains: Innocent-Ella, Aegis-Sprite, Midnight Dragonfly
I remember my first attempt at RPing in Whitmoore Apartments... *Shiver*.
Wow, when I reread them not so long ago, I could not believe that I had written that. The sentances were incomplete, the grammar was terrible, and the speech was just plain scary.
However, I like to think I have improved, even if slightly, even if just to feel like I have somehow changed from being an incomprehensible babbler.
Bunring, I think I've got something for you. And this is actually something I've had to do myself: cutting back on assumptions.
I've noticed often that I've assumed something and didn't really know about it until it was too late. Now I try to not jump ahead of anyone and let them make the final decision - such as when I stopped in Final Fight because I had no idea how what Khel had brought in would reacto to acid, for example 
I'll admit, I still do it sometimes, and you have to in order to keep a story moving, but too much of anything can be a bad thing.
Other than that, rock on 
"If I had Force powers, vacuum or not my cape/clothes/hair would always be blowing in the Dramatic Wind." - Tenzhi
Characters
I'll open myself up to the critiquing, but I have an inkling what most of it will fall under:
Too slow, too long to post, vanish unexpectedly for long periods.
I'll claim guilty to all of these. Which is why I normally limit myself to one or two threads or just write short works without others so I don't hold them back. Even then I have a hard time keeping to a schedule
However, to most everyone else... I have to say that most of the RP styles I've seen here have been stellar. For the most part, well thought out posts are the rule, and the descriptions are truly catching.
There are several posters who I admire when it comes to RPing. From what I've read of Devious's works I like them. Again, well thought out and planned in all cases.
Essex, from what I've seen I truly enjoy your style of RP. Good detail and good control of NPCs without becomming overbearing.
Lazarus, my only complaint is that I have not had the opportuntiy to write with you more. That fault is more on my schedule than yours however. You have a knack for "going with the flow" and keeping up quite a hectic pace.
If I get a chance I'll try and go more in depth later...
((Actually, Palaquinn, I like your measured posting style. I know things seem more exciting when the posts are flying fast and furious, but it can make it hard for those of us who aren't able to post at all hours to get our characters involved in the story.
Not that it stops me.
Hmm...critiques...
You know, I need to think about this. If I'm going to offer feedback and upgrades, I want them to be measured and well thought out. I'll probably focus more on general across-the-board improvements rather than picking out specific authors. That said, I'm interested to hear from folks how I might improve my own storytelling. I promise a 24-hour waiting period before any inflammatory PMs. 
An interesting thread idea. Thanks for starting it up.))
Writing: Cape Fic
Featured Art: MechaTerp & CorporateRock, by Shia
Music: DJ Pyrria
Seeking critiques on my own post, based on my input on the Superhero 101 thread. Where I have been kind of long winded lately.
I attempt to provide insight to Shane when I write him, but at the same time I dont want to reveal too much too quickly. I am aiming for depth of character and detail in my post there. (Though I know some of my other characters in other threads are less detailed and need more work (Especially Ella)).
I dont have a lot of practice writing and I am still working on my grammar and spelling.
I hope that you all like to read my post and find them entertaining. Instead of cringing when I post something long.
For those of you that dont like long post, I apologize, and I apologize again in advance because I have some pre-written post that have gotten long with details.
HaloInc
Triumph:
Heroes: Lady Halifax, Miss Kia, WhiteLotus, Agent Immolate, Lady Empathy, Sylence Fyredancer, Maiden of Fire
Villains: Innocent-Ella, Aegis-Sprite, Midnight Dragonfly
I haven't done this very long but might as well ask how I am doing so far (I am currently on the Game of Cosmic Chess and Coliseum 2 threads). I personally think I am too impatient and post before I know what anyone else is doing. Also I make too many assumptions. I am a writer at least as a hobby and am used to controlling everything myself so I sometimes find myself guessing what will happen next and probably guessing wrong.
Any other opinions would be appreciated.
Plague, I've got a suggestion for you: I've noticed that recently you sometimes have your characters do something and then refer to something different immediately afterward.
In my opinion, this creates a sense of incompleteness, like the character is only performing half the action he or she should be.
Again, it's just a suggestion, so don't take my word as law or anything.
"If I had Force powers, vacuum or not my cape/clothes/hair would always be blowing in the Dramatic Wind." - Tenzhi
Characters
Today is the one month real-time anniversary of Jodie Winters' enrollment in Montressor's Mercenary Academy within the "Anti-Hero 101" thread. Within the one day's worth of thread time, the thirteen-year-old Void Wielder has, among other things, and in roughly chronological order: flown out to the school, undergone a quickie orientation, faced her fears, met a Void Master, made new friends, gotten homesick about her old ones (several times), taken a written test, laughed 'til she cried, angsted hard, identified a noxious herb, stopped a tank, failed a test, cried again, been touched by an angel (sorta), pigged out, danced at a party, unpacked from her flight (finally), slept 'til morning, breakfasted, and at the last is now preparing for an assault on a Malta base.
All in all, I'd say it's been a full not-even-24 hours for little Jodie.
So at this point I thought I'd put myself out here and ask: how'm I doin'? As I mentioned in my first post, this is the first time I've ever participated in an open RP thread. There's undeniably been a bit of a learning curve. I admit I haven't adjusted well to the rapid posting schedule, much to my frustration, due to a fuller-than-full-time job which precludes even browsing the thread during the day (excepting the odd lunch break).
The complaint I expect most is that I often put up crazy monster-sized posts which people find unreadable. I hope not that's not the case. I try to make the style engaging despite the length. Still, I'm sure there are times it goes overboard. The one about Jodie getting ready for bed comes to mind. Way too much unnecessary detail in that post, looking back on it.
Another complaint I anticipate hearing is that Jodie is underpowered compared to the other students. This was partly deliberate, I wanted to give her room to grow and I thought it'd be interesting to bring in someone who wasn't as tough as the others. I may have gone a little overboard though.
Anyway, enough about what I think I'm going to receive criticism about. Time to actually receive criticism. Lemme have it. I can take it. What does not kill me makes me stronger, or something like that.
In all seriousness, I look forward to hearing what you have to say, and thanks in advance.
Actually, I rarely find it hard to read one of your longer posts. I really only had trouble in the beginning.
Arc ID: 475246, "Bringing a Lord to Power"
"I'm only a simple man trying to cling to my tomorrow. Every day. By any means necessary."
-Caldwell B. Cladwell
ManySplinters I love your post.
I tend to have long post too, and like the level of detail you bring to Jodie.
As to being under-powers in the school based threads I think that is a good thing. I think people are a bit overpowered sometimes.
HaloInc
Triumph:
Heroes: Lady Halifax, Miss Kia, WhiteLotus, Agent Immolate, Lady Empathy, Sylence Fyredancer, Maiden of Fire
Villains: Innocent-Ella, Aegis-Sprite, Midnight Dragonfly
Halo, your posts may be long, but that doesn't mean they're hard to read. I really enjoy reading long posts because they give a lot of detail and insight into a character, which you are profoundly awesome at. It was a blast helping you write Shane's nighttime adventure, and I'm really glad we've been able to get him and the nurse together for serious development on both of their parts.
Now then, anyone who plays around in Superhero 101, I'd love to get some comments about my "clockwork" mini arc. Constructive insults are fine! I really want to know what you thought. Was it fun, boring, too silly, too long?
The clockwork mission was excellent! Your style is very entertaining and descriptive.
I really liked how you kept everything fair. The students had a chance to excel, and didn't need to godmode which made it an even better read.
HaloInc
Triumph:
Heroes: Lady Halifax, Miss Kia, WhiteLotus, Agent Immolate, Lady Empathy, Sylence Fyredancer, Maiden of Fire
Villains: Innocent-Ella, Aegis-Sprite, Midnight Dragonfly
((lurker mode: OFF))
I love the Philsbots. 
Cooky, eccentric and a tad psychotic. The perfect comic fodder. As for the arc itself. It was pretty fun though the posts sometimes came too fast for my schedule to keep up with unless I wanted to sacrifice real world commitments... and that would shortly have me standing in front of the Captain in dress whites and saying a lot of "Yes sir's" and "No sir's"
:Sighs: Ok, since I posted here, I guess it's only fair to let my own style come under fire. :hides behind Essex-plushie:
Pinnacle
Heroes
When in danger, or in doubt; Run in circles, scream and shout.
I always like reading the Phillisbots, they're always funny. It'd be great to see em more often.
I'm also open for more critiques, insults, smacks on the back of the head, etc.
Arc ID: 475246, "Bringing a Lord to Power"
"I'm only a simple man trying to cling to my tomorrow. Every day. By any means necessary."
-Caldwell B. Cladwell
Alright, first off I open myself to critques, I won't like it, but that probably means it good for me. Maybe...
Lets see here, I don't have much to say right now, maybe I'll think of more to add later.
Soviet
I like Prikker, but I have alot of trouble reading the Troll speak he uses. Any chance of getting a translation guide?
Essex
My only real complaint (and it's not much of one) is using the Megaman X terms for the characters. That just throws me a bit and makes me suddenly think of side scrolling games, sweet, sweet, sweet, side scrolling games... I need to go play some now...
Billyboy
Been RPing with you for a long time man, in fact, I think it's been about a year since we started WATBTDO. You've improved alot and you're a lot of fun to read. And uh... wait, where was the critism? Oh right, the whole liking Cyba in peril bit. Move on. Seriously though, that was a bit of a snagging point in the RP. I loved writing Proto Matter's evil, but Cyba really doesn't need to be such a glutton for punishment. Tone that aspect down just a bit and you'll be more than golden.
Uh, lets see here, I can't think of anything else to say about anyone else.
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Billyboy
Been RPing with you for a long time man, in fact, I think it's been about a year since we started WATBTDO. You've improved alot and you're a lot of fun to read. And uh... wait, where was the critism? Oh right, the whole liking Cyba in peril bit. Move on. Seriously though, that was a bit of a snagging point in the RP. I loved writing Proto Matter's evil, but Cyba really doesn't need to be such a glutton for punishment. Tone that aspect down just a bit and you'll be more than golden.
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Hehe, Cyba will ALWAYS be a glutton for punishment! And I think its actualy been closer to two years, hasn't it? I don't know, I'll have to check the thread! That RP was the super funnest thing in the world, I'm telling you! It's just too bad we only had about five people in it! Grigori forever!
As for you, Hermod, well, I have a few things to say about you! First off, you don't post nearly enough! Second, you're a great writer and come up with the best characters. It's like you're some kind of awesome character making machine that generates killer backstories!
My only other complaint is that you know too much about my evil plans! Ninjas, seize him!
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[ QUOTE ]
Billyboy
Been RPing with you for a long time man, in fact, I think it's been about a year since we started WATBTDO. You've improved alot and you're a lot of fun to read. And uh... wait, where was the critism? Oh right, the whole liking Cyba in peril bit. Move on. Seriously though, that was a bit of a snagging point in the RP. I loved writing Proto Matter's evil, but Cyba really doesn't need to be such a glutton for punishment. Tone that aspect down just a bit and you'll be more than golden.
[/ QUOTE ]
Hehe, Cyba will ALWAYS be a glutton for punishment! And I think its actualy been closer to two years, hasn't it? I don't know, I'll have to check the thread! That RP was the super funnest thing in the world, I'm telling you! It's just too bad we only had about five people in it! Grigori forever!
As for you, Hermod, well, I have a few things to say about you! First off, you don't post nearly enough! Second, you're a great writer and come up with the best characters. It's like you're some kind of awesome character making machine that generates killer backstories!
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Well, I saw youa bout a few times before WATBTDO but that was first time we RPed together, and I could have sworn it happened at some point durring the summer last year.
And thanks for the complements.
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My only other complaint is that you know too much about my evil plans! Ninjas, seize him!
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AH! /powexec_name Placate
/powexec_name Super Speed
/powexec_name Full Auto
*Flees*
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Essex
My only real complaint (and it's not much of one) is using the Megaman X terms for the characters. That just throws me a bit and makes me suddenly think of side scrolling games, sweet, sweet, sweet, side scrolling games... I need to go play some now...
[/ QUOTE ]
This is a good point. D: The problem is, Essex originated in a Megaman X RP, so I'm not sure what other terms to use.
Any suggestions? I'm open. :P
Japancakes.
Art - Theme 005 - Seeking Solace
Okay, here goes. :P
I'm somewhat new to the forums (Only about a month or two) so these are just my preliminary observations. D:
In General:
In general, I've found the CoX forums to be very different from any other sort of roleplaying experience I've had. There are a lot of people with a lot of characters from a lot of backgrounds, and that in and of itself is intriguing. Everyone has a very rich and personal history with their characters, and there is never any doubt as to anyone's skills and/or abilities.
A few criticisms, though - not directed at anyone in particular, but just things I've noticed on the boards:
- Invincibility. Nobody ever gets hit. There is always a solution for everything. I don't care what kind of super powers you have, you are going to get hit sometimes. Superman had Kryptonite; and if you don't want people to auto you, you have to show a sense of fairness and allow yourself to be affected by some adverse circumstances now and again.
- Auto-controlling. This was the ultimate hardest thing for me to come to grips with was the takeover of your characters by other people. The RPs I had participated in the past, this was a grave no-no. I even yelled at someone the first time it happened to me here. (I'm sorry about that by the way! ;_; ) I have since gotten used to it, but just keep in mind that it can be disconcerting to newcomers. I'm only glad that mostly everyone is fairly good about it, which relieves me greatly.
- Complication. I think this one is just me. I have so much trouble following threads sometimes and knowing exactly where I am and what's going on. XD;; But again; this is a girl who still gets lost in GC, so I don't have any sense of direction in the first place.
Now for specifics - As I've said, there are four people whose RP style I have fallen head-over-heels for in my limited time here. I will start with you four.
Soviet
Sovie, I've already critiqued you, but I just have to say it again.
I adore your Malta. XD
You've really made them your own; a colorful and inseperable little band of dynamite. I love Marcus' snark, Curtis' twang, and Reikoff makes me swoony. XD! D4 is always fun to play with when I'm playing Essex, and the rest of the Malta are like...the most creative hive-mind I've ever come into contact with. I really and truly hope, like the others have said, that they become in-game characters someday. That would be the end of my gaming career, though, because I don't think I'd be able to 'arrest' them. XP
Your RP style is great, too, aside from the great characters. You weave plots like a mastermind and have a lot of tactical knowledge that shines forth in your posts. Good show, Sovie. :P
Khel
OMG TOY FTW. <3 Your characters positively glow. You describe them with a depth to an extent that I can almost hear what their voices would sound like. You roleplay with expression, wit, and thought, and I can really tell. Your posts are easy to follow and fun, and every single one of your characters manages to be unpredictable while still being consistent. That is a difficult balance to maintain.
The personalities that you've given every one of your characters is amazing. Even down to the toys that Toy summons. Another thing about your posts that I enjoy is that you are sensible. Lord help me, we need more sensible people. Khel, you are one of the few...FEW....people I would trust with Essex in a setting outside this forum, like one of the aforementioned places I've RPed where such things were forbidden. You are observant and clear, and that's appreciated a lot. :P
Devious
Devious, the complexity of your ideas blows me away. I would never be able to get the intensity that you put forth with Vyachslav, Vern, Acid, Kerat...the others I've played with. That, and something about your posts just exudes...confidence. No matter what RP I see you in, you always seem to have things perfectly under control and straightened out in your mind. That is something I admire, especially since I can never keep anything straight. You have always shown an uncanny ability to weave complex and multidimensional stories, and then keep track of them no matter how bass-ackwards and convoluted they get. That, to me, is amazing. XD
One particular character of yours that I've fallen in love with is Vyachslav. He's powerful, sure, but you've given him this little sense of ...I'm not sure how to put this...innocence? Like a gentle giant who potentially has all the answers, but it's so cute to see him get overwhelmed. He is a very well-developed character and is a pleasure to interact with, like the rest of your C's. XP Thank you for giving me the opportunity to play with you; it's much appreciated and enjoyed.
Burning
Burning, I have no idea how you can keep track of all of your characters. You have so much going on, it's mind-boggling. The little Burning family unit and their seperate and diverse personalities, Blightlord and his cronies (Who scare the ever-loving bejeezus out of me, by the way. D: ), everyone is so distinct. Additionally, the way each character works is very clear - they have a sort of down-home integrity to them.
Another quality about your posts that I admire is that they're so easy to read and follow. You're literate, you're clear, you're straightforward and LINEAR, and I never come out of reading one of your posts confused to high heaven. You're a natural born storyteller and I enjoy interacting with your characters! XP I only wish you'd post more often. <.<
I've got more people to review, but I'll continue my tirade later. :P
Japancakes.
Art - Theme 005 - Seeking Solace