*Thick bronx accent* Yeah, promise. No askin' about the jackboots. Didn't want to anyways. Last name may be Boskoweitz, but I understand that whole 'past is past' thing.
Excuse me. Name's Bruno, commonly known 'round here as 'The Hit People Guy'. I just wanted to know why you guys stay in Paragon, when there's thousands a 'heroes around? Do you think that they'd go 'n follow you wherever you went, or do you have another reason staying here and having the massive batches of heroes workin' you over seems good?
Jus askin'. Personally, I was pretty pleased when The King came in first time, and started helping clean up the row. Up until he started to pick up stuff that was needed, it was great.
And uhh.. Do you guys have real names? I mean, Miss deVore's got one, obviously - but not to offend, lady, I'm sure you're nice and all, I just ain't run inta ya yet.
Thanks, and I'm sure we'll meet sometime. Y'know. Professional courtesy 'n all that.
Caios: Hey, Im Caios and I just called to say a few things.
First off, Vanessa, Stop inviting me to your damned orgies!! I swear every time its the same thing, oh sure you say youre concocting some evil plan to take over the mind of everyone in the city, and then conveniently leave your current address with a contact so I can find you. And sure enough everytime I get there its all oh no, nothing like that, were just having a party, care to join us?. The Answer is no, always is, always will be.
And Doc, Vazzi, keep your dominatrix wanna be freaks out of my way. I mean seriously, no one find them the least bit attractive, and I know a thing or two about attractive undead types. Which reminds me, put some fresh blood in your zombies, for crying out loud. I mean those things are just putrid, maybe if you kept their blood supply fresh they wouldnt puke as much.
Oh, and Clockie, you still owe me twenty bucks for keeping Fyre too busy to play with all your toys. If you dont pay up I may just have her do Synapse another favor.
And stop snickering Vandal, or Ill sic her on your little robots as well.
DJ: Im sorry, Miss Chaos was it?
Caios: Just Caios.
DJ: Right, just Caios, did you have a question?
Caios: You want a question? Alright. Vanessa, when are you going to STOP inviting me to your orgies? Doc, why dont you put fresh blood in your zombies? And CK, when are you gonna pay the money you owe me?
Oh and in closing I just want to add that the viscous rumors of me being a vampire are utterly untrue, thank you.
Caios - Modern. Vampire. Cowgirl, not Catgirl.
Karnage - Monster. Psychopath. Fun at Parties.
FyreShadow - Innocent. Naive. God-like Powerful.
Queen Armitage - Caring. Exiled. and out of Options.
[ QUOTE ]
"hello? hi? oh.. HI! hemily is hemily *nods to her phone*
hemily wondering things too...
Clocking king first... he like porn? his clocks has silly names... Long Tom... Bertha.. Clang...
then to washylock... why he make his zombies puke all time? he bad cook? and why his zombies taste so bad? and why he have murkies in kinky leather outfits?
[/ QUOTE ]
DJ: Allright, it's a sexy kitty with some hot questions, makes Jack go OOOOOWWWWWW!!!! What about it yer majesty, are you hot for pr0n?
CK: Eh, well.... I mean I'm male, and I've been single for a while, so naturally I've got a collection...
VdV: A collection? Of what? I collect colors from auras, are there any good ones in there? Maybe we can swap!
CK: NO! I mean, no, c'mon, this is embarassing....
Dr.V: I fail to see why you are embarassed. Scientific American is hardly a magazine to feel shame over.
CK: DOC! You know I only read it for the articles!
Dr.V: Yes, I am quite sure your comment was... "Look at the cross-sections on this one!"
CK: CAN WE CHANGE THE SUBJECT?!
Dr.V: Very well. Hemily, first of all, my creations are not zombies...
CK: GGGYGYAYAYAYAAAAH!HHHH!!!!
DJ: Doc! He's glowing and everything's shaking!
Dr.V: ::Sighs:: Very well. Hemily, my creations vomit and taste bad because it makes heroes like you avoid them. And the Eidolon's outfits are actually there to shield their raw musculature while their skin regrows. They are not just aesthetically pleasing, but medically beneficial!
Vandal: Unt I zuppose zat dey all look like gimps is an unexpectet side-effect?
Dr.V: I fail to place the reference. Could you extrapolate?
DJ: Right, this whole conversation is weirding ol' Jackie out. next caller? PLEASE?
Heya Outcast Jack! This is Modron X, super-scientist, and champion of mechanicals rights. Couple of things. I wanted to thank Dr. Vahzilok for putting all his notes on the Internet, they've been very helpful. Second, Clockwork King, I haven't seen you at the MECHA support group lately. We miss you, and we're having donuts next week so I hope you'll be there.
Third, Vandal, I love your work man. Have you ever thought of going solo? Last but not least, I'd like thank the lady for the refreshing change in super-villainy. Too much sausage for breakfast if you know what I mean. I look forward to 'arresting' you.
My question, is Coyote still ranting?
Issue 23: All your base are belong to us?
[ QUOTE ]
*Hephaestus 1 links up to the phone via his primary T-1 line*
"Hey, got a question for the Clockwork King. As one brain in a jar to another, so to speak, do you ever have a feeling that you need some kind of moral support, that... well, puny flesh-things that kind of get on your nerves aren't always the be-all end-all of humanity? How do you get them to understand that? Help a fellow cyborg out, man!"
[/ QUOTE ]
CK: Oh, hi! Good to talk to a fellow Future Sapiens!
CK: Well, to answer your question I'm taking out my angst and anger against humanity by constructing my own new race to take its place! It's had some ups and downs so far, but in the end when the world's a ticking, humming, and metal-shod perfect sphere, and I'm its God then I'm sure whatever remnants of humanity that I've spared will REALLY understand what I'm feeling.
CK: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!!!
Dr.V and Vandal: WAHAHAHAHHAHAH-
Vandal: -Vait.
Dr.V: Hm...
CK: But hey, it's cool, you guys have time to prepare. So, I'd recommend trying that, it's working for me so far, caller!
CK: Just don't interfere with the Clockwork empire or I'll smush ya.
DJ: ...........Uh.......
DJ: Next caller?
[ QUOTE ]
DJ: Go ahead caller, you're on the air.
.
:: A soothing baritone voice with a hint of a Pacific Northwestern accent is heard over the radio ::
.
Bayne: Thank you for taking my call, Outcast Jack. I'm a long-time listener; first time caller.
.
DJ: OWWWWwwww!!!! Welcome to the show.
.
B: Uhm, yes, of course. I have a question...well, two questions actually...for the group.
.
DJ: Yeah, well let's get to them Baybe.
.
B: Bayne. My name is Bayne, not "Baybe."
.
DJ: Riiiiiight. Let's get to it then.
.
B: Ok, my first question is directed toward Clockwork King. Is that a Lake Industries Micro Bio-Fusion Power Cell I see in the thorax of the Clockwork King? I've always wondered how you powered that skeletal system of yours, and if it is a LIMBFPC then I can see why you can generate the huge levels of energy you need to shift that mass around with ease.
.
:: without interruption Bayne immeadiately runs on to his next question ::
.
B: And second, I hear you play Bridge. Would you think it is balanced to force raise to 3 No-Trump in response to an opening bid of 1 Heart or 1 Spade? I've been thinking my partner could choose to leave the contract in 3NT or bid again. Do you have an opinion on that?
[/ QUOTE ]
CK: Oh, hey Bayne! Yeah, it's a fusion cell in my chassis. Sure, I could use my psionic power to move myself, like I do with the rest of my creations but sometimes I just wanna sit back and relax. This is a great help at the end of the day, I just kick it in and take a load off!
CK: Ooh, and for your second question, the old 3NT manuver! Doc, you wanna field this one?
Dr.V: Absolutely. You have it correctly, that a triple no-trump manuver somewhat limits a partners options. In most cases, if he does not dominate in the selected field of hearts or spades, leaving the contract is often the most exemplary option! However, at its core the "3NT" is a very conventional manuver, and can easily be coun-
MM: THAT'S ENOUGH!
MJ: YES! WE'VE SAT STILL FOR QUITE ENOUGH TIME!
MM: DON'T WE HAVE ANY CALLERS, ANY AT ALL?
DJ: Uh... oh yes, for late joiners these last speakers were Mecha-Mary and Mecha-Joseph, from the ARCHVILLAINS: Christmas Special...
MJ: I TOLD YOU WE SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT MECHA BABY JESUS!
MM: DON'T YOU GIVE ME THAT! YOU KNOW HOW HE'S BEEN SINCE THE SHOW! HE'S GETTING JOBS ALL OVER THE PLACE, WHILE WE'VE HAD TO SCRIMP AND SAVE-
DJ: Right, I'll just cut their feed now. Uh, they're out there if anyone really wants to talk to them...
Dr.V: .....and that would be the most effective way to handle that possibility. May it assist your games, fellow card aficionado!
DJ: Yeah. Next caller?
[ QUOTE ]
*Thick bronx accent* Yeah, promise. No askin' about the jackboots. Didn't want to anyways. Last name may be Boskoweitz, but I understand that whole 'past is past' thing.
Excuse me. Name's Bruno, commonly known 'round here as 'The Hit People Guy'. I just wanted to know why you guys stay in Paragon, when there's thousands a 'heroes around? Do you think that they'd go 'n follow you wherever you went, or do you have another reason staying here and having the massive batches of heroes workin' you over seems good?
Jus askin'. Personally, I was pretty pleased when The King came in first time, and started helping clean up the row. Up until he started to pick up stuff that was needed, it was great.
And uhh.. Do you guys have real names? I mean, Miss deVore's got one, obviously - but not to offend, lady, I'm sure you're nice and all, I just ain't run inta ya yet.
Thanks, and I'm sure we'll meet sometime. Y'know. Professional courtesy 'n all that.
[/ QUOTE ]
VdV: Oooh, I LIKE him! Can I have him?
CK: Sure Vanny, but let's answer his questions first. And give him time to prepare a will.
Dr.V: To answer the main thrust of your query, we have assembled in this metropolis for different reasons. For myself, it happens to be both my home and a never-ending source of metahuman tissues and organs to experiment with. Truly, I would be hard pressed to find another place in this world where such substances were handily available....
CK: Me, I just live here. Gotta admit though, it's nice when I can get my hands on some of those Rikti alloys and circuits...
Vandal: Und for us, der heroes would follow us to der ends of der Earth to hunt us down. Might as well make a stand vhere der activities of der other villains pull some of der "Heat" off uff us.
VdV: I like pie.
DJ: There you have it! Four different villains, four different... uh...
DJ: Pie?
VdV: Apple is good, but cherry's nice too.
DJ: Right. Next caller?
[ QUOTE ]
Caios: Hey, Im Caios and I just called to say a few things.
First off, Vanessa, Stop inviting me to your damned orgies!! I swear every time its the same thing, oh sure you say youre concocting some evil plan to take over the mind of everyone in the city, and then conveniently leave your current address with a contact so I can find you. And sure enough everytime I get there its all oh no, nothing like that, were just having a party, care to join us?. The Answer is no, always is, always will be.
And Doc, Vazzi, keep your dominatrix wanna be freaks out of my way. I mean seriously, no one find them the least bit attractive, and I know a thing or two about attractive undead types. Which reminds me, put some fresh blood in your zombies, for crying out loud. I mean those things are just putrid, maybe if you kept their blood supply fresh they wouldnt puke as much.
Oh, and Clockie, you still owe me twenty bucks for keeping Fyre too busy to play with all your toys. If you dont pay up I may just have her do Synapse another favor.
And stop snickering Vandal, or Ill sic her on your little robots as well.
DJ: Im sorry, Miss Chaos was it?
Caios: Just Caios.
DJ: Right, just Caios, did you have a question?
Caios: You want a question? Alright. Vanessa, when are you going to STOP inviting me to your orgies? Doc, why dont you put fresh blood in your zombies? And CK, when are you gonna pay the money you owe me?
Oh and in closing I just want to add that the viscous rumors of me being a vampire are utterly untrue, thank you.
[/ QUOTE ]
DJ: Oh dear sweet lord, they're all angry... uh, please. Please don't kill......
CK: Hey! I told you I'd have the cash for you when my tax refund came in! It hasn't yet, so settle the heck down. Sheesh, you bum spare change for the laundry off ONE hot goth chick, and they never let you forget it...
Dr.V: ...Zombies.....always they say zombies..... Insignificant, ignorant...... They are disturbing because I find people such as YOURSELF vomitous! I feel that it is ONLY fair to return the favor...
VdV: ......You.... you.... horrible little.... ARG! I hope you like women, because I just hexed all your MALE lovers past-future-and present with impotence!
VdV: Probably took out half the city, there. Ah well....
DJ: Yeah, okay... good lord, I survived... folks, we're going to commercial here, we'll get back to your questions as soon as we're back!
((Great job so far! Gonna have to take a break for the day, the thread will resume over the weekend! Thanks, and good luck...))
*calls as a diffrent char*
howdy!
i'm goin' by the name Chilled Texan
and i'm wonderin a few things...
first tha fella in tha suit made of roadkill..
how in tha world did'ya manage to get them walkin piles of flesh to puke tha much? even projectile vomitin'... and aint them explodin' ones waste of them precious body parts? an a last one... who's tha wife ya keep talkin about?
then to tha walkin machine with a brain in a jar...
how in da world did ya end up as a walkin talkin mecha brain in a jar?
then tha german speakin fella...
where ya find them recruits for yer troops? some of 'em are frikkin' huge! but tha's just hilarious when i throw tha ice patch out... tha big fellas nearly squishin the smaller ones as they fall *snickers*
then tha masked lady...
lemme understand this right.. ya leadin a band of masked clowns in corsettes? an where do them illusionists of yers get them dresses? i kinna want one..
and a extra question fer doc roadkill... ya came up against tha New Breed... my group... how'd ya like gettin frozen in a block of ice? *snickering is heard on the line as she hangs up*
(Shamrock II)
Yo. This is for Coyote! How ya doin, brother? I got to ask... you ever think the big Coyote guy's playin' a trick or ten on ya? An' that CoDependent Lass, you know, I bet she'd love that Vanny yer datin. Maybe ya should get 'em together.
PERC Supporter
La Pucelle (BS/SR)
Miseria Bella (Sonic/Dark)
Wrangler Annie (SS/Elec)
Coldsmoke (Ice/Dark)
Saber Maid (BS/Regen)
and others...
Yeah, this is Brick Wilson... these guys all know me, and I'm glad ta see the Doc's still up and kickin' after I took him down singlehanded back in the day... Remember that, Doc? Good times. Good times.
Anyway, two questions. First, for Vandal: What's up with the Council dweebs parked in front of my apartment building? I wipe 'em out every time I go home, but it seems like five minutes later they're back again. Can't you take a hint, or do you like paying their hospital bills?
This next one's thrown out for whoever wants to answer it: does it ever worry you to think that Nemesis may have already replaced one of your number with an exact replica? I mean, we're heroes, so we're used to that sort of thing, but I hope you guys don't think you're immune to his little schemes.
*A bit of a screech as he dials through several intermediaries*
Comrades.
First off, I would like to remind Vandal that he's a second rate scientist that had to resort to machines because one of his earlier experiments, Me, backfired on him so badly. He should study under Vahz there. Vomit spitting bodies would be a step up.
Anywho, my question.
Why the 'keep out' signs on the wooden doors in front of abandoned mines...does it ever keep anyone out?
Hello, I'm Stellarnova
I have a question for Miss V.
Who decorates for your parties, I mean, they make the best use of warehouses I've seen. The colors, the nice couches, ok, the cages hanging from the ceiling don't really fit in. But anyway, who puts that all together for you?
DJ: OOOowwwwwwwwwwWWWW!! This is Outcast Jack, and we are back from commercial, LIVE with our favorite crew of Archvillains! Things have... settled down a bit, and we're ready to field some more callers! Next caller, you're live!
[ QUOTE ]
Heya Outcast Jack! This is Modron X, super-scientist, and champion of mechanicals rights. Couple of things. I wanted to thank Dr. Vahzilok for putting all his notes on the Internet, they've been very helpful. Second, Clockwork King, I haven't seen you at the MECHA support group lately. We miss you, and we're having donuts next week so I hope you'll be there.
Third, Vandal, I love your work man. Have you ever thought of going solo? Last but not least, I'd like thank the lady for the refreshing change in super-villainy. Too much sausage for breakfast if you know what I mean. I look forward to 'arresting' you.
My question, is Coyote still ranting?
[/ QUOTE ]
Dr.V: Ah, you are quite welcome, my fellow physician! I find the internet an exemplary medium for the transfer of information! Truly, with this wondrous tool in front of us, no household shall remain in the unenlightened darkness for long!
CK: Yeah, and no perverts shall go without their weird porn.
Dr.V: ....You do know just how to ruin a euphoric moment, do you not?
CK: Hey, everyone needs a talent...
CK: Huh, MECHA? Oh, right... well, I've been meaning to go y'know, it's just... well... I've been busy, and honestly....
CK: ::Sighs:: Look. I'm pretty comfy with where I am right now, okay? Got a hot girlfriend, work's doing great, and my life is going WELL! If I went to see you losers again, I'd just be in a bad mood. Ah, no offense, of course. Look, I'll stop by and say hi, especially if you've got donuts, but I really don't need a meeting right now. Capische? Good.
Vandal: Solo? Vell, I von't pretend dat I haff not considered it. Still, mein current leader vould shoot me iff I did. So, no.
VdV: Sausage? Oh, you're welcome. I like bacon better, with a side of those little hash browns. Pancakes are nice too. And eggs! Don't forget eggs! You sound like such a nice young man, what would YOU like for breakfast when you arrest me?
DJ: Woo! Ah, okay. I know what I'D like... well. Anyway, as to your last question, let's check the feed...
Coyote: Grrrzzzzz-snrk, *snort*, grrrrzzz-srnk.....
DJ: Nope, Coyote seems to have since moved on! He is no longer ranting, just sleeping! Next caller?
[ QUOTE ]
*calls as a diffrent char*
howdy!
i'm goin' by the name Chilled Texan
and i'm wonderin a few things...
first tha fella in tha suit made of roadkill..
how in tha world did'ya manage to get them walkin piles of flesh to puke tha much? even projectile vomitin'... and aint them explodin' ones waste of them precious body parts? an a last one... who's tha wife ya keep talkin about?
then to tha walkin machine with a brain in a jar...
how in da world did ya end up as a walkin talkin mecha brain in a jar?
then tha german speakin fella...
where ya find them recruits for yer troops? some of 'em are frikkin' huge! but tha's just hilarious when i throw tha ice patch out... tha big fellas nearly squishin the smaller ones as they fall *snickers*
then tha masked lady...
lemme understand this right.. ya leadin a band of masked clowns in corsettes? an where do them illusionists of yers get them dresses? i kinna want one..
and a extra question fer doc roadkill... ya came up against tha New Breed... my group... how'd ya like gettin frozen in a block of ice? *snickering is heard on the line as she hangs up*
[/ QUOTE ]
DJ: Wooo, a caller wondering about pukespace! And sundry other things... Doc, you first for these questions...
Dr.V: Yes, thank you Outcast Jack. I found that my creations' capacity to expel vomitous chemicals was increased by showing them selected pieces of media and popular culture. Indeed, the children's programming popularly referred to as "Teletubbies", and certain works involving a purple dinosaur seem to be the most effacious for these purposes.
Dr.V: ....Perhaps the only downfall is that repeated exposure to these programs tends to wear upon their psyche. Still, sacrifices must be made.
Dr.V: Oh, and the embalmed remnants are made of corrupted materials to begin with, think of them more as leftovers. So when one detonates, my research is not majorly set back.
DJ: Thanks, Doc! Now on to the REAL question of the hour... Your wife!
CK: YES! Finally, I'll get to...
Dr.V: My wife? Well, naturally. She is Mrs. Vazhilok, of course.
CK: .........
CK: Fine, I can see how this is gonna go. Ah well. Caller, I'm currently a brain in a jar because some vigilante got a little overzealous and threw my original body in a chipper-shredder. Now I'm more hideous and mentally powerful than ever!
DJ: Moral of the story, kids! Killing never solves anything, your enemy just comes back stronger and weirder... Vandal, next one for you?
Vandal: Guten tag, herr texan! Actually, most uff our recruits are qvite svelte. However, a few years on our supersoldier serum, und they grow to large proportions! Indeed, it's vun uff our major selling points...
DJ: Wow, an enlargement program that actually works. Ever thought of offering free viagra, too?
Vandal: Heh, vhat do you think der medical coverage is used for?
DJ: EVIL! Okay..... And a pseudo-rant directed at you, Doc.
Dr.V: Ah, the New Breed. Refreshing to see a fairly well-integrated team working together, even if it IS against my purposes. To be honest, I find encasement in frozen liquid less annoying than many other methods of harm. It gives one time to think, while one is attempting to conserve warmth.
DJ: Oooowww, thank you Texan! Next caller....
[ QUOTE ]
(Shamrock II)
Yo. This is for Coyote! How ya doin, brother? I got to ask... you ever think the big Coyote guy's playin' a trick or ten on ya? An' that CoDependent Lass, you know, I bet she'd love that Vanny yer datin. Maybe ya should get 'em together.
[/ QUOTE ]
DJ: Wooowwwww! Finally one for the canine! Alright, patchin' you through...
Coyote: Oh, hi! Y'know, it's funny that you should mention the Coyote playing tricks on me, cuz lately he just stands there and snickers at me whenever I have a dream-vision. I'm certain he's testing me in some way, y'know it's not easy being an avatar more-or-less.....
Coyote: Oh, Co-dependent lass? Yeah, she's great! If you're listening, hi Jackie!
DJ: Uh, dude, y'might not wanna give out her secret identity on the air...
Coyote: Oh! Right, right. Anyway, Miss, me and Vanny aren't really dating, we decided to be friends. ::Whispers:: To be honest, she's a little weird... I'm not really into that whole "New Age" scene...
DJ: Uh Coyote, could you move on? I didn't think Masks could have their eyeholes twitch until now...
Coyote: Oh, she's uh... nearby? Huh, uh, hi Vanny! Friends, right? Yeah... uh, I don't know if it would be such a great idea to get them togeth-
Coyote: Oooooohhhhhh......
Coyote: Now THAT'S an idea....
Coyote: But would they let me tape it? Dunno....
DJ: I think I can see where your musings are going, so I'll just frantically take the NEXT CALLER!
[ QUOTE ]
Yeah, this is Brick Wilson... these guys all know me, and I'm glad ta see the Doc's still up and kickin' after I took him down singlehanded back in the day... Remember that, Doc? Good times. Good times.
Anyway, two questions. First, for Vandal: What's up with the Council dweebs parked in front of my apartment building? I wipe 'em out every time I go home, but it seems like five minutes later they're back again. Can't you take a hint, or do you like paying their hospital bills?
This next one's thrown out for whoever wants to answer it: does it ever worry you to think that Nemesis may have already replaced one of your number with an exact replica? I mean, we're heroes, so we're used to that sort of thing, but I hope you guys don't think you're immune to his little schemes.
[/ QUOTE ]
DJ: Whoo! Looks like an old adversary! Doc, you wanna take this one?
Dr.V: My apologies, but WHO do you presume to be, again? My ferrous friend, have you ever heard of this particular prima-donna?
CK: Nope, doesn't ring a bell.
Vandal: No clue.
CK: Ah, this happens all the time. Someone takes twenty minutes of your time, then expects you to remember them later.
Dr.V: Truly, one of the hidden perils inherent in being a celebrity.
Vandal: Anyvay, to answer your qvestion, our medical program pays der hospital bills uff der vorkers. Und der insurance money comes straight from state fundingk! Ho ho ho! Our lawyers really pulled a fast vun dere!
Vandal: So beat avay, you cost der taxpayers money every time vun uff ours gets seriously inchured!
Dr.V: Astounding!
CK: That's... that's EVIL! Man, I gotta take notes...
CK: Right. As to that Nemesis thing, nice try but we can EASILY see that for the ploy that-
MM: HE KNOWS!
MJ: QUICKLY, FAKE MECHA-MARY! ESCAPE BACK TO OUR NEFARIOUS MASTER!
MM: MECHA-TWIN POWERS, ACTIVATE!
MM: FORM OF, BOEING 747!
MJ: FORM OF, PILOT!
::Wokka-wokka sounds from the mike, then a CRASH-WHOOSH, and the sound of a plane receding::
DJ: Right, we've got a big hole in the studio wall, and we're down two guests. Ah well, no one wanted to hear them anyway...
CK: Wow. See, that's why the whole "Fake Archvillain" thing won't happen. Nemesis has NO chance of duplicating our genius, or personality. In the end, best he can do is a minion or two.
Dr.V: And those clamourous contraptions rarely last long before being outed, and dismantled.
VdV: They can scream, if you hurt them properly. It's fun!
DJ: Yikes. Okay, well we've still got most of the studio standing. Next caller?
[ QUOTE ]
*A bit of a screech as he dials through several intermediaries*
Comrades.
First off, I would like to remind Vandal that he's a second rate scientist that had to resort to machines because one of his earlier experiments, Me, backfired on him so badly. He should study under Vahz there. Vomit spitting bodies would be a step up.
Anywho, my question.
Why the 'keep out' signs on the wooden doors in front of abandoned mines...does it ever keep anyone out?
[/ QUOTE ]
Vandal: Oh, it's you. Ja, I consider you a failure. You never call, you never write, now you've gone off und joined der Communist Party!
Vandal: You are not my son! Go, make your own vay in der vorld! I don't care!
DJ: Woo, tough....
Vandal: Don't get me started. My therapist is a rich voman because of this little tverp's attitude. I tried, I really did. I... I don't THINK I'm a bad person....
CK: It's okay, man. Sometimes you just have to let one of your creations go...
Vandal: Ja, I guess. ::Sniffs::
Dr.V: At any rate, you offensive offspring, the various warnings posted on mine doors are more of a general guideline than any form of serious warning. Now if you are QUITE done emotionally manipulating your creator, begone! And let us turn to lighter subjects...
DJ: Heh, ha...... okay. Next caller!
[ QUOTE ]
Hello, I'm Stellarnova
I have a question for Miss V.
Who decorates for your parties, I mean, they make the best use of warehouses I've seen. The colors, the nice couches, ok, the cages hanging from the ceiling don't really fit in. But anyway, who puts that all together for you?
[/ QUOTE ]
DJ: Pink eye for the Carny guy! Er, gal. What about it, Miss De Vore?
VdV: OOOoh! Why THANK you! It's so GOOD to have the little touches recognized.... We really do go to a lot of trouble for ambiance, you know?
VdV: Anyway, the last time I was in the nice place with the bars for doors...
CK: They call that prison, Vanny.
VdV: Yes, there. My room-mate was this nice middle-aged lady, who liked to do handicrafts! She showed me how to make a sharpened spoon, using only... well, a spoon and... something to sharpen it with.
DJ: You had a decorator for a cell-mate?
VdV: Yes, I did! So after she told me her evil plan, I asked her for her advice, and she was a GREAT help for the primary color scheme and motif.
Dr.V: Fascinating! A villainous interior decorator... Truly, I could use the assistance of just such an individual? Where is this gifted genius today?
VdV: Oh, out running her criminal empire, she left before I did. I often wonder what's happened to Martha...
DJ: There you have it! Interior Designers can be villains too! Alright, next caller...
*a voice that sounds almost exactly like Dr. Vahz, but far more pathetic and wimpy*
Uhm, ah, ahem. H-hello there. My name is Professor Vahzilok. I'm, ah, from, the, erm, ah, Praetorian Earth.
You know. Evil is good, good is evil. Stuff... like that, uhm.
I just wanted to say that, uh, Dr. Vahz is... a... bad... person. And. Erm. Please don't kill me too badly.
Oh, I also prefer team NOOB over team LEET, the League of Extremely Evil Teammates. They're stupid, but, uhm, they have really big guns that hurt a lot. And I don't even have a cool people-suit-thing. Because, you know. I'm a good guy. Not... allowed to... uh... wear people.
If you don't mind, I'm going to hang up now. Because Dirge is trying to destroy all of my serum stuff that I need to keep drinking or else I die a very painful death.
Oh! A question, right.
Uhm.
Does it hurt as much when Statesman punches you in the face as when Tyrant punches me in my face? Because it reminds me of the feeling like having my brain smashed out by a lemon wrapped around a gold brick. Which is kind of when it's so painful that it's kind of... a little... enjoyable, and.
Yeah.
Pleasedon'thuntmedownandkillme.
*click*
Animation major and old-school CoHer.
Art, Animation, and Stuff:
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[ QUOTE ]
*a voice that sounds almost exactly like Dr. Vahz, but far more pathetic and wimpy*
Uhm, ah, ahem. H-hello there. My name is Professor Vahzilok. I'm, ah, from, the, erm, ah, Praetorian Earth.
You know. Evil is good, good is evil. Stuff... like that, uhm.
I just wanted to say that, uh, Dr. Vahz is... a... bad... person. And. Erm. Please don't kill me too badly.
Oh, I also prefer team NOOB over team LEET, the League of Extremely Evil Teammates. They're stupid, but, uhm, they have really big guns that hurt a lot. And I don't even have a cool people-suit-thing. Because, you know. I'm a good guy. Not... allowed to... uh... wear people.
If you don't mind, I'm going to hang up now. Because Dirge is trying to destroy all of my serum stuff that I need to keep drinking or else I die a very painful death.
Oh! A question, right.
Uhm.
Does it hurt as much when Statesman punches you in the face as when Tyrant punches me in my face? Because it reminds me of the feeling like having my brain smashed out by a lemon wrapped around a gold brick. Which is kind of when it's so painful that it's kind of... a little... enjoyable, and.
Yeah.
Pleasedon'thuntmedownandkillme.
*click*
[/ QUOTE ]
DJ: Yeah! First Praetorian of the evening! So what's it like to hear from your exact double, Doc?
Dr.V: .........
CK: Ah geeze, man...
Vandal: I am zo, zo sorry..... that your double should be such a...
Dr.V: ..........
VdV: Who was that cute little man? Oh, I bet his fear tastes SO lovely...
CK: Aw man, he's shaking with rage. Okay, everyone get clear....
Dr.V: Heh.
CK: Huh?
Dr.V: Ah-heh hah. Ha. HAHAHHAhahahahhahahahhah!
CK: Wow...
DJ: You're not, like, mad? I can come out from under the console?
Dr.V: Mad? Why on earth would I be mad? Praetorians are, by and large, our opposite numbers!
Dr.V: To find that my exact opposite is a snivelling, puling wretch with a penchant for pain and colleagues that would execute him in a trice, that only provides a reassurace for my OWN worth!
CK: Wow. I hadn't thought of it that way.
Dr.V: And on top of all that, I know now that should one of my OWN organs fail, or I be irrevocably damaged during a scuffle, an exact DNA-compatible donor is walking around in this very city, RIPE for the harvesting!
CK: Yeah! That's a side-benefit you don't get too often!
Dr.V: Thank you.... me! You have quite validated my day! I shall see you later.... Muhahahahahahhahah!
DJ: O-kay! Next caller?
*A loud German-accented voice sounds over the phone*
Guten Tag, this is Herr Automaton. Ja, Vandal, your attempted cyborg varrior for the 5th is all grown up and killink tons uff stupid girly men. Anyvays, this is vhat I vant to say. If Requiem is on der line, tell him he is a stupid girly man and I vill enjoy burnink him!
Also, vhy do the stupid Council have stupid names?
WOLVES AND BEES 2012
[ QUOTE ]
*A loud German-accented voice sounds over the phone*
Guten Tag, this is Herr Automaton. Ja, Vandal, your attempted cyborg varrior for the 5th is all grown up and killink tons uff stupid girly men. Anyvays, this is vhat I vant to say. If Requiem is on der line, tell him he is a stupid girly man and I vill enjoy burnink him!
Also, vhy do the stupid Council have stupid names?
[/ QUOTE ]
DJ: WOOOoowWWWW! Another "Lost Son" of Vandal!
Vandal: Ach, it's you. Heil, Herr.
Vandal: Don't vorry, I'll pass on your remarks to our... beloved leader. He couldn't be here today, but he vill be THRILLT to know you care.
Vandal: As to der Council haffing schtupid names, I qvite agree. THIS Is vhat happens vhen our head employer tries to think like a CEO, instead uff a supervillain!
Vandal: Cor Leonis, Cor Leonis, vhat der SCHNITZEL is a Cor Leonis, anyvay? ::Grumbles::
DJ: All right, that's all we have time for now, cuz here comes the COMMERCIALS! When we return, we'll have one last round of call-ins! Remember, stay tuned to radio W-URX for the Works...
::The station goes to commercial::
*Vangelus the masochistic nuclear robot gets ahold of a telephone*
HIIII~!
I just wanna go around the table and give some good cheer to all the guests! Hee hee!
Mister Vaaaahzilok! I absolutely aDORE how much your friends would.....mmmmm...buuuurn me. Even if it was icky speeeew!
Oooh oooh!! And and and, thanks so much to the Kingy and Vandal for making such...unique sensory expeeeeriences. *voice becomes deep and sophisticated* The little clocks are so rough and textured and ZAPPING...while the Vandaldroids are- *quick inhale, slooow exhale* -smooth and buuuurning...I would LOVE to meet with the TWO of you sometime...
I could give you both hugs! Hee hee hee!
OOoooh, and the Carnie lady's there, right? Right right right right?
Psychic lances are so stabby and aphysical, I love 'em! *disturbing giggle* I wanna meet you in person one day so I can give you a biiiiiig snuggly radiation hug!
*low voice* And maybe you can fillet me with brain daggers...hm hm hmmm...
Awww! Now Mister Shinsektor's figured out where I am! I gotta give his phone back... *audibly pouts*
Byyyee~!
DJs for The Cape Radio
Makes videos & podcasts about reviewing toys, covering conventions, and more at Vangelus.ca
[ QUOTE ]
-Taurus: Greetings, this is Taurus.
DJ: god bless you.
-Taurus: What?
DJ: I said God bless you, I thought you sneezed.
-Taurus: No, I simply told you my name, its Taurus
DJ: Yes, well, hello Taurus.
-Taurus: No, not Taurus, the name is Taurus, leader of The Zodiac, you fool.
DJ: Sorry, but Im not quite catching the part before Taurus.
-Taurus: Its a -
DJ: Sorry, come again?
-Taurus: ::Sighs then blurts out quickly:: Its a -. When I went to register my name in this foolish city, they told me I couldnt have my real name. They said it was already taken. TAKEN!! Can you believe it? I am an immortal son of Zeus! I have walked this earth for thousands of years, and someone else had registered my name here first!! It was outrageous! I insisted that they call the
DJ: Ah, well, yeah, got that now. Sorry to cut you off, but we all know about the name thing. It happens from time to time. So any way, did you have a question Taurus?
-Taurus: Oh, well, yes, I did. You see, I also am an arch-villain and...
DJ: Wait, you said youre an arch-villain? Ive never heard of you, what have you done?
-Taurus: I flooded Gemini Park.
DJ: You flooded Gemini park? You call that villainous? Dont you think many people would be thankful for having you flood out all those silly, angsty, role-players? Dont you think you would have been doing the RP community a favor by eliminating one of the biggest sources of friction between the RP and power-gamer factions of people playing City of Heroes?
-Taurus: ::silence::
DJ: Hello?
-Taurus: ::Impatiently:: I thought this show was to call in and ask questions, not answer them.
DJ: Oh, yeah. I guess youre right. Go ahead and ask your question.
-Taurus: Well, as I was saying, I also am an arch-villain. I lead an elite band of vicious super-beings, and was hoping that your guests could give me some advice on how to go about making a name in this town. My stunt at the park didnt go over so well. And Ill take my answer off the air. ::Click::
[/ QUOTE ]
DJ: How about it gang, willing to help this young up-and-comer out?
CK: Man, I dunno. See, usually when you try something like that these new guys all end up pulling a Vader on you.
Vandal: Ja. They get gut, und zen zey reform, und der next thing you know you're haffing a climactic showdown in der middle of your lunch break.
DJ: So, no lovin' for the Greek God formerly know as Taurus?
CK: Meh, I'll toss him something off the air. But I swear to God, if he goes good later...
DJ: Allright, next caller...