Mind Your Manners!


Anglachel

 

Posted

I'd like you to meet two friends of mine: Hero and Zero. Hero is a very nice person. He rescues little old ladies from purse snatchers, he always says please and thank you, and everybody likes him. Zero is a good person, too. He rescues little old ladies. But Zero never says please or thank you. Zero has bad manners. Nobody likes Zero. Nobody wants to team with Zero. This makes him very sad. You don't want to be sad like Zero, do you? No! You want to be happy, like Hero. You want to have good manners. Don't worry. Hero and Zero will help you learn to be courteous, just like Hero.

1. When asking a complete stranger to drop everything they are doing and spend hours of their life giving you experience points and getting nothing in return, always remember to say please.

Zero: PL meh or u r teh suxxorz!!1!!
Hero: PL meh PLZ!!!11!

2. Do not sexually harass female characters, most of whom are played by guys anyhow.

Hero: Would you care to join me for an evening of good deeds and derring do?
Zero: U got hot a$$! U RL a$$ hot??? my [censored] 18" u want suxx it bad yah???!!!11!

3. Assist other characters only when needed.

Hero: You appear to be losing consciousness! Would you like me to thwart these villains? I will heal you while you think about it.
Zero: LOLLOLOL!!111 PWNZD!!11 U teh suxxorz!!11! /killsteals

4. Treat other players with respect.

Hero: Pardon me, but I do believe that ambush was intended for me.
Zero: [censored] little [censored] u ks [censored] i get u pvp kick yur [censored] my lvl 50s!!1111!!!

5. Be gracious.

Hero: Thank you for your kind gift of level 28 training enhancements. I do not have any need of them, but I will attempt to donate them to a worthy charity.
Zero: U think I'm a trash can? a toilet? keep ur crap offa me!!

6. Carry your own weight.

Hero: These villains look dangerous, but if you sidekick me I will attempt to vanquish them at your side!
Zero: no SK me [censored]!!1! i want teh uber xp!!1 u go kil. brb

7. Begging for influence is crass.

Hero: Hmmm, I seem to be just a little short. Oh, and I did so want to buy that lovely SO enhancements. Ah well.
Zero: gimme $$$. u got lots gimme!!!1 PLZ!!11! else u suxorz i pvp u!!1!

8. Offer constructive criticism.

Hero: Yes, having four travel powers does sound convenient, but are you sure you don't like ANY of the powers in your primary? Perhaps I can accompany you on the respec trial?
Zero: u teh gimp suxxor!! lol roflmao lolzlolz

9. Accept criticism graciously

Hero: Yes, I understand that it is mathematically suboptimal, but I happen to rather like the flurry power.
Zero: [censored] n00b u dont know [censored] i r teh roxxorz i kill boss EZ!!1! FU!11! i pvp u pwnz u bad u gimp!1!!!1!

10. Always cooperate with your teammates.

Hero: Thank you very much for drawing all the aggro. But perhaps next time you could limit yourself to one group at a time? Although I will certainly do my best to heal you, whatever the odds.
Zero: anchor?! [censored] anchor?! y u rest? my end ok! I go killz! Oops, NEED HEAL HEAL HEAL HEAL [censored] u no heal u suxxorz! [censored] bubble? u healer! ... oh srry, was afk. how u all died? i pull w/ my AoE. why you let me die again! u suxx i quit! lousy xp with u gimp losers!!1!


Let's all be Heroes, not Zeroes!


Avatar: "Cheeky Jack O Lantern" by dimarie

 

Posted

I just love this one...

"Yes, I understand that it is mathematically suboptimal, but I happen to rather like the flurry power."

I actually finally did respec out of Flurry, but only because of the limit of four Pool Sets, and that my skill-based Scrapper wouldn't want any of the others from Super Speed. It may not have been the most damaging Power in terms of setting up chains, but it kept my End costs down.

Your "Hero" and "Zero" remind me of Goofus and Gallant from the Highlights magazine. Geez, there's an old memory from my childhood...


 

Posted

LOL. That's priceless. Makes me think of an old B&W hygiene film they would have spoofed on MST3K or something.


[url="http://tinyurl.com/4ylgy"]The Wanderers[/url] of Virtue
We farm fun!

 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
I just love this one...

"Yes, I understand that it is mathematically suboptimal, but I happen to rather like the flurry power."

[/ QUOTE ]

I have to agree that is the funniest phrasing I've seen on the topic! Kudos to the OP


 

Posted

My Attny Chris Jenkins will be in touch with you for Slandering my alt toon "Zer0" I expect a fair settlement, and pnitive damages plus compensation for my rep loss on servers win which i play.

All of a suden no one would team with me and they told me go check the forums.

Zer0 is in no like form or fashion to "Zero" altho it is spelled almost the same I feel i am being heroicly discreminated against since this "article" broke.















GOTCHYA! (as in I was a jokin') I could not resist a little forum fun!

Very good read there Peter, i laffed a lot cos yes I have met some like Zero that that say PL PL ME plz and when i say I can't sorry i am busy with a mish they go off like well Skerw u then!


.:Brmstone's BLOG:.

 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
Your "Hero" and "Zero" remind me of Goofus and Gallant from the Highlights magazine.

[/ QUOTE ]

Me too!


Avatar: "Cheeky Jack O Lantern" by dimarie

 

Posted

ROFL ! Your post is solid gold Peterpeter


I may disagree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.

Voltaire

 

Posted

Holy cow! Goofus and Gallant!

The last time I saw Highlights (for kids!) was in the Pediatrician's office. That was at least 15 years ago

Hysterical post. The Flurry comment is, indeed, priceless (my main used to have it too).


 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
Zero: anchor?! [censored] anchor?! y u rest? my end ok! I go killz! Oops, NEED HEAL HEAL HEAL HEAL [censored] u no heal u suxxorz! [censored] bubble? u healer! ... oh srry, was afk. how u all died? i pull w/ my AoE. why you let me die again! u suxx i quit! lousy xp with u gimp losers!!1!

[/ QUOTE ]


Having not only a FF Defender, but also a Kinetics (As WELL as having an Empath - Read as HEALR), this one is just aboslutely "spot on".

Thanks for the great post!


Unexplained Investigations Supergroup on VICTORY!
UI Cards
Snuph's Hero Helpers

 

Posted

Very cool...

I'm new to online stuff, so I can't read half of what Zero says, but I certainly get the attitude!

So, yeah, been there.


 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
I'm new to online stuff, so I can't read half of what Zero says, but I certainly get the attitude!

[/ QUOTE ]

LMAO! Been there... not too long ago either.


 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
I'm new to online stuff, so I can't read half of what Zero says, but I certainly get the attitude!

[/ QUOTE ]
Not to worry, in a short amount of time, you too will be able to speak 1337 with the worst of them


There I was between a rock and a hard place. Then I thought, "What am I doing on this side of the rock?"

 

Posted

LOL.... been there ...done ALL of that


 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
I'm new to online stuff, so I can't read half of what Zero says

[/ QUOTE ]

Me neither


Avatar: "Cheeky Jack O Lantern" by dimarie

 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
Let's all be Heroes, not Zeroes!

[/ QUOTE ]

I recently stumbled across this gem from waaay back (2004) and felt a need to give it a bump. As an additional service to those of us who do not speak “L337", I am including my own translations where needed. My contributions are within the < > brackets.

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1. When asking a complete stranger to drop everything they are doing and spend hours of their life giving you experience points and getting nothing in return, always remember to say please.

Zero: PL meh or u r teh suxxorz!!1!! < Power level me or you will suck! >
Hero: PL meh PLZ!!!11!** < Power level me, please! >

2. Do not sexually harass female characters, most of whom are played by guys anyhow.

Hero: Would you care to join me for an evening of good deeds and derring do?
Zero: U got hot a$$! U RL a$$ hot??? my [censored] 18" u want suxx it bad yah???!!!11!
< Your animated, imaginary character has a nice bottom! Are you that attractive in real life? I am very well endowed myself. Wouldn’t you like to orally service me?>

3. Assist other characters only when needed.

Hero: You appear to be losing consciousness! Would you like me to thwart these villains? I will heal you while you think about it.
Zero: LOLLOLOL!!111 PWNZD!!11 U teh suxxorz!!11! /killsteals
< Very funny! You got destroyed! You suck! (Now I will defeat all of your enemies and collect the XP* for myself) >

4. Treat other players with respect.

Hero: Pardon me, but I do believe that ambush was intended for me.
Zero: [censored] little [censored] u ks [censored] i get u pvp kick yur [censored] my lvl 50s!!1111!!!
< Stupid little brat. Those were my targets, jerk! I challenge you to a PvP** fight with my level 50 character (which may or may not actually exist) >

5. Be gracious.

Hero: Thank you for your kind gift of level 28 training enhancements. I do not have any need of them, but I will attempt to donate them to a worthy charity.
Zero: U think I'm a trash can? a toilet? keep ur crap offa me!!
< Do you think I’m a trash can or a toilet? Keep your garbage to yourself! >

6. Carry your own weight.

Hero: These villains look dangerous, but if you sidekick me I will attempt to vanquish them at your side!
Zero: no SK me [censored]!!1! i want teh uber xp!!1 u go kil. brb
< Don’t sidekick me, jerk! I want the high XP! You kill them all. I’ll be right back. >

7. Begging for influence is crass.

Hero: Hmmm, I seem to be just a little short. Oh, and I did so want to buy that lovely SO enhancements. Ah well.
Zero: gimme $$$. u got lots gimme!!!1 PLZ!!11! else u suxorz i pvp u!!1!
< Give me influence! You have a lot, so give me some! Please! Or else you suck and I will defeat you in PvP!!! >

8. Offer constructive criticism.

Hero: Yes, having four travel powers does sound convenient, but are you sure you don't like ANY of the powers in your primary? Perhaps I can accompany you on the respec trial?
Zero: u teh gimp suxxor!! lol roflmao lolzlolz
< You are completely ineffective and you suck! I am very amused by this. >

9. Accept criticism graciously

Hero: Yes, I understand that it is mathematically suboptimal, but I happen to rather like the flurry power.
Zero: [censored] n00b u dont know [censored] i r teh roxxorz i kill boss EZ!!1! FU!11! i pvp u pwnz u bad u gimp!1!!!1!
< Stupid rookie. You don’t know anything. I rock and I can kill this boss with ease! I hold you in the lowest regard. I would easily defeat you in PvP, you useless tool. >

10. Always cooperate with your teammates.

Hero: Thank you very much for drawing all the aggro. But perhaps next time you could limit yourself to one group at a time? Although I will certainly do my best to heal you, whatever the odds.
Zero: anchor?! [censored] anchor?! y u rest? my end ok! I go killz! Oops, NEED HEAL HEAL HEAL HEAL [censored] u no heal u suxxorz! [censored] bubble? u healer! ... oh srry, was afk. how u all died? i pull w/ my AoE. why you let me die again! u suxx i quit! lousy xp with u gimp losers!!1!
< (Deep breath) Anchor?! Who needs an anchor?! Why are you resting? My endurance level is fine! I’ll kill this group myself! Oops. Heal me! Heal me quickly! Jerk. You didn’t heal me, you suck. Why did you give me a force field? You’re the healer! ... Oh, sorry. I was getting a Mountain Dew. How did everyone die? I will pull this entire group with a massive Area of Effect attack. Why did you let me die again? You suck! I quit! I wasn’t getting enough experience with you ineffective losers anyway! >

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I assume everyone on this forum would know these abbreviations, but in the interest of a complete translation:
* XP = experience award
** PvP = Player v. Player zones

And, of course, all the credit to the original poster! Funny stuff!

RFX


Random FX
aka Jon Random; Aracknight (Champion)
aka Pandemonia; Daemonica (Victory)
aka Ultra Supreme; Mr. Eos (Infinity)

 

Posted

Man! I had forgotten about this! I was actually searching for information on killstealing and stumbled across your bump. Nice work on the translations, by the way.


Avatar: "Cheeky Jack O Lantern" by dimarie