A Game of Chess (Vol 1)

OOC: O.K. this has been rattling about in my brain for a while now. I have two "Main" character on the Protector server. One of them has developed quite a back-story in my mind and if I don't get it down it'll drive me nuts. Oh... and if anyone sees a little guy named "Chess" booking past you in Protector, say hi!

"A Game of Chess, Opening Move"

"Um... Hello? I'm here to register?"

The secretary tapped fingers on her desk as she looked out at the long line of potential heroes. Letting an exasperated sigh escape her lips she looked about trying to find where the voice came from.

"Miss? Um... Down here." A gauntleted hand waved up past the lip of her desk. Someone in the back of the line snorted, trying not to laugh.

"Sorry honey, no kids. We have age limits for Heroes." The secretary rattled off the response before even looking over her workload.

"Oh for the love of..." The grumbling came from the line as many shook their heads and cursed under their breath.

"Lady, do I LOOK like a kid?" The voice stated coldly. A figure walked around the desk and stood there defiantly with his hands on his hips. The faceless mask reflected the secretary's face in a gleam of white. The figure was no more than 4 feet tall, but encased in hard armor. The motif of checkerboards and a red and black stallion was emblazoned on his chest.

"Oh! Oh lord I'm sorry..." The secretary faltered and quickly grabbed documents for the figure.

"It's... It's O.K. I get the kid thing a lot." The response from the figure was a sigh and a shaking of his head. "My name is Chess by the way."

"O.K. then Mr. Chess... Just fill these out and go and meet your first contact. Um would you like to divulge your real name? It may open up further employment opportunities for you."

Chess shook his head. "Trust me... my name is Chess. Leave it at that." Many in the line behind him nodded in agreement with keeping names... REAL names quiet. In some ways, it was a hero tradition. For Chess however, it was a necessity.

"O.K. then Chess. Just take that hallway down there. You contact is Dr. Johansen. He likes Tech heroes like you."

Chess nodded mutely and walked down the steps. Many other heroes were still in line, while others ran up and down the stairs to get here or there. "Dr. Jo huh? Good."

As he meandered the hallways, Chess eventually found the door to the Tech division. His "Contact" was in his office when Chess entered.

"Ah! You're the new hero huh? I'm Dr..."

"Dr. Johansen I know." Chess stated. The Dr. raised an eyebrow and grabbed the next set of forms. He sighed at the little figure and wondered if this was going to be another surly hero.

"O.K. then... before we do anything we would like to do a physical. We need to be sure you're in top shape before going out and helping Paragon."

"Ah... Well... Can't we skip that?" Chess rubbed his hands nervously and looked about.

"Sorry, but trust me I've seen it all. Even cybernetic implants for... well just let your imagination go on that one."

Chess looked about and then walked over and closed the door.

"Um... Mr. Chess?" Dr. Johansen became visibly nervous. Being alone with a newly licensed hero could be a dangerous thing... Before he could hit a silent alarm for monitoring, Chess looked up and removed his faceplate.

Dr. Johansen gasped and then did his best not to black out.

"Dr. Jo... You probably don't remember me." Chess stated.

"You're a... a..."

"A robot Dr.” Chess stated in a dead voice... one tinged with sadness.

Behind the faceplate was a mass of gears, sensors, and electrical connections. Nothing remotely human was back there, or anything even resembling a face.

"How... How do you know me?" The doctor was shaking now. Chess let his shoulders fall and pressed his faceplate back. He sighed deeply while he sat on the floor.

"Dr. Henderson. You remember him?"

"Yes of course. He was a brilliant scientist when it came to robotics... Are you saying...?" A look of wonder crossed the doctors face then. He leaned down and reached out a hand to Chess. The little robot pushed it away.

"You remember his son?" Joshua?"

"Yes... Joshua was a brilliant child. Poor boy, he was paralyzed by a car accident." Dr. Johansen sat on the floor and kept on staring at Chess in wonder. Suddenly he shook his head. "You're not suggesting that you're... You're that TOY are you?"

Chess sighed and looked up at the Dr.

"C.H.E.S.S. Child-Hood Educational Support System. Prototype Alpha 1. I am no TOY doctor. I was... I was Joshua's friend..." The doctor shook his head and fell back slowly.

"How... What... Where are they? What happened?"

Chess slowly rose and shook his head sadly.

"Actually Doctor, that's why I came to Paragon. I was hoping you could tell me."

OOC: End part one. Any comments, criticisms, or ideas feel free to let them fly. Let me know what you think!

I like it. Well done.

please, sir, could I have s'more?


I enjoyed reading this. I'm pretty sure I'll enjoy reading the nbext chapter as well.

Thanks for the comments guys! Keep them comming!

Also, let me know what you think about the change in style for this chapter.

A Game of Chess: Pawns

Personal Log of Doctor Carl Johansen.

The fact that this little robot had even made it to my door was astounding enough, barring the fact that unlicensed AIs in Paragon had been expressly forbidden. That was an attempt by the authorities to cut down on more Clockwork incidents and mistaken identities (See Log 214b on Toy-Store fiasco in Steel Canyon).

Chess, as I must now always remember to call him, had become something far more than a simple toy or educational tool as he was intended to be. I remember looking over the schematics of the original prototype with Doctor Henderson. Chess was going to be a boon to educators everywhere. One part teachers aid, one part entertainer, and one part confidant, he would have made every school an enjoyable place to go.

I never knew where Doctor Henderson got his advanced learning matrix for the prototype’s AI. Chess filled in that gap for me.

Begin Recording. Chess interview number 2

“You found out you were a what?”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself Doctor. You see, I do remember you. You were there when I first went active about 2 years ago. I remember your face vividly as one of my first memories.”

“But you looked nothing like this back then.”

“Oh good Lord, don’t remind me. I have no clue why Paul, Doctor Henderson, wanted me to look like “Chibi” version of Albert Einstein. I suppose he thought it would make an impression on the kids. Josh cooked up this outfit.”

“Josh? Why the Chess motif other than your name?”

“Well that was the main reason. That and Josh loved Heroes. He wanted a hero as a mentor and friend more than a demented cartoon version of a physicist. That image you remember of me lasted a day before Josh convinced his father to get me to look like how I do now.”

“But that still does not explain…”

“I know it doesn’t. Frankly I’m still a bit fuzzy on the details myself. Hell I’m still unsure if I’m really FEELING anything, or emoting for that matter. Do you have any idea how it feels to doubt the fact that you’re feeling an emotion? To second guess yourself if what you’re truly feeling is depression or simply a programmed response of your AI?”

Thunk

“Please don’t drop your head on my table like that Chess… You may hurt yourself.”

“In this armor? Doubtful. Even in the cartoon form, I ‘m so padded against shocks, its insane. Paul wanted me to be ready for ANYTHING in the classroom, including worst-case scenario situations. Like a Columbine or such.”

“What do you mean by second-guessing yourself though?”

“Well let’s see. From day one of my activation I was to be Josh’s friend and I truly believed that he was my best friend. Josh was incredible, even in that wheelchair of his. I was a constant companion and could even get him to get off the chair and play.”

“How?”

“Well… Well here.”

Whoosh

“GAH!!!! CHESS! Put me DOWN!”

“Heh… Well that’s how Doctor. Paul equipped me with extensive arrays of anti-gravity control systems, as well as several experimental systems that harness the Earth’s magnetic fields. Originally those powers were for those worst case scenario’s I mentioned, but they also were designed for little things.”

“Like exercising Josh’s muscles?”

“Exactly. By gently lifting Josh out of his chair and using m-pulses of anti-gravity and then reversing the feed to increase gravity I was able to help keep his leg muscles from atrophying. That and Josh loved to “Fly.””

“So… the emotions.”

“Oh yeah, well it seems the educational part of me went both ways. Not only was I teaching Josh, but he began to teach me. I learned slang and language I’m sure Paul would be shocked to know his son knew. I learned about how humans feel about not only other races, but mutants and thinking machines like myself.

“One day Josh came in with a sad look on his face. I asked what was wrong but he simply handed me a set of books and said I should read them to know humanity and my kind. The first was “Pinocchio.” That was followed by “Frankenstein.” Then there was “Tick-Tock of Oz.” Next was “I Robot.” Then “Robota” and “I am Max.” I began to get a very dim view of humanity’s view of my kind. Josh wanted to warn me… but then I blindly called myself “The Royal Army of Josh.” promising to protect him like Tick-Tock of Oz.

“Josh only followed the books with films. The Terminator series I found funny, Heart-bleeps was kinda campy and almost sad, Short-Circuit was O.K., but you know what got to me doctor? Not Westworld, not Blade Runner, not Alien. It was A.I.

“Have you seen that film Doctor? Have you ANY idea what that would do to someone like me? Seeing a little robot, programmed to show love and feel, only to be cast aside and ultimately fulfill his programming for only a single day? You have any idea what that made me think. I looked at Josh afterwards and had to ask… Is that what is going to happen to me?

“All he could say was “Not in this family.”

“I became paranoid, Doctor. I didn’t want to leave the house for fear of what other humans would do. I became fiercely protective of Josh and Paul. In my spare time, I kept on asking myself “do I feel? Am I really feeling? Do I even really exist?”

“The only thing I have to say is thank God for Futurama and Bender… otherwise I would NEVER have found a robot role-model.”

“I hardly think Bender is a good role-model for anyone Chess.”

“True, but consider this. He speaks his mind, tries to protect those he cares for, and does not care he is a robot or if others look at him differently for being a robot. That and he is funny.

“Anyway, there I was at the height of paranoia when one night our house gets invaded. Oh sure I can say it with ease now, but then… I heard the windows break. ALL of them. Men and THINGS ran into the house. Josh called out and I immediately lashed out. I slammed several of them into the floor and crushed several more into the ceiling before something hit me from behind, HARD.

“I vaguely remember Josh calling out to me before my system shut down to preserve core functions. I came back online the next day, and sat for almost 12 hours while my system made repairs. I was in a panic and immediately hid underground in Paul’s home lab. I bolted the doors and began digging for something… ANYTHING to try to hide. I was convinced from everything that Josh had taught me that whatever happened I would be blamed. I needed to stay active if for nothing more than to find and save them, to clear my name and theirs.

“I had no clue that the Ritki had already invaded and I was sitting in the only solid structure left in our area of the city. Paul built his lab like a bunker, and I only found out about the attack when I turned on the news two days later.

“By that time I had found several things that now make sense but only raised severe questions about what I was originally intended to be. I found Paul’s original schematics for me, as well as lists of data, parts, tests, and notes. It was there that I found out my AI was originally designed off patterns and schematics found and extrapolated from the Nemesis robots that invaded Paragon after World War II. Paul had expanded on the original ideas almost a thousand fold and somehow added a complex learning matrix, but it was the note I found laying in Paul’s chair that made me come here to Paragon Carl.”

Rustle

End Interview: Resume of Personal Log

I can see why Chess has become so consumed by the note and finding his family more than ever now. I have transcribed the note in its entirety here for further clarity.

Nemesis,

I have destroyed the prototype and all the information pertaining to your demands for a new thinking matrix. I will not cave in or submit further, especially after finding out YOU killed my dear Sarah already. You heartless *******, did you really think I would not try to monitor you in return for your blackmail? Did you think I would keep on trying to make your little machines better after I found out about my wife?

May you burn in whatever place is set-aside for you in Hell.

-Paul

The bloodstains lead me to believe that my dear friend is either in mortal peril or is dead already. DNA tests are ongoing to confirm the blood is that of Doctor Paul Henderson. However, the note keeps on confusing me… why was it left behind? My gut instinct says that it could only be a trap, but for whom? Chess? Or was it a simple taunt by the attackers to return the note to Paul? I am worried about this, and have expressed the feelings to Chess already.

His response? “What else is there for me to go on?”

I can only agree. There IS nothing else for now, and I can only pray for Chess.

((Bravo! I like the switch in viewpoint, it makes both the doctor and Chess become very lifelike. Keep filling us in on this, I want to read all the way up to Check Mate ))

((Exceptional, my friend. Very well done. I look forward to reading more. ))

I'd like to say, I've fought tooth and nail trying to sign in to this forum, just to say to this post, "MORE!"

Really, interesting and grappling!

Must... know.... mor....e.

Heya again folks. Here's the third installment of Chess's story. I tried a perspective shift again and hopefully gave a window into more of Chess's personality. I'm glad everyone likes it thus far! As always comments and criticisims are gladly accepted!

A Game of Chess: First Knight Out

Personal Journal: BY CHESS!

Testing… Testing… one, two, three…

Well uh Thank you, thank you very much, I’m justa hunka hunka burnin’ love!

That one’s for you Carl.

O.K. this data log is set for the Date and time removed for security . Personally I’m not a huge fan of keeping any kind of journal if you will, but the Doc thinks it’ll be a good idea. He gave me some story about being able to analyze it later for possible psychological value. Something about that prospect scares me. As if I was not afraid enough about people wanting to take me apart physically… now Carl wants to do it mentally.

Everyone has it out for the little robot.

Anyhow, today is my first day as a fully licensed hero in Paragon. Carl said he’d do his best to keep me up to date with leads on my family and especially Josh but in the meantime I should go out and try to make a name for myself. So I’m picking up my first mission from him and hitting the streets of Galaxy City.

The working theory of the day is, if I become a recognized hero, I won’t be subject to people’s prejudice against thinking machines. Yeah, right. Tell that to bunch of “Heroes” who named themselves “The anti-robot League.” I’m all for helping people, hell that’s part of my core programming, but something about this kinda strikes me as putting my fat directly into the fire.

If I screw up, something tells me it won’t be a slap on the wrist like it is for a lot of heroes. They’ll dissect me.

Remind me to thank Josh for instilling such a healthy dose of paranoia into my hard-drives. Assuming I ever get the chance to SEE Josh again.

Still, its things like this that really make me think. I feel driven to help people, heal the wounded, and aid the defenseless. How much of that is really me however? I mean is my programming all that I am? Sometimes I think I have gone beyond my original protocols but then again, a lot of computers can adapt. Is that all I’m really doing at times? Adapting?

Yeesh I’m starting to sound like “Veeger” from the first Star Trek film.

Man… The question remains for me however. Does Descartes statement ring true for me as well? Can I really say I exist if I can think? I think therefore… Therefore I’d better haul *** and get on this mission.

Philosophy aside the reason I give myself for recording this is so I can look at it later and learn from my mistakes and better predict opponents. Carl started me out easy. I have to chase off a few gang members. They call themselves “Hellions” and seem to go in for the demonic and fire motifs.

Yeesh… I thought all the 80’s Satanist crap went out with the mullet and bad Metallica cover bands.

So I’m pulling up a guidance grid and tracking all current gang activity on my scanner now. Carl says I can tap into the Police department scanner if I’m on a mission. Not like I’d listen to it otherwise. There’s only so much bad news I can take in a day.

Well lets see here… These Hellions appear to be a busy bunch. I’m gonna run up and down some back alleys and see if I can find something. Chess out for now.

10 min delay in feed

O.K. I’m right above a group of Hellions. Looks like a drug deal or something. Of course I thought people took DRUGS and not little amulets that glowed in funky colors. I can’t really make out what they are saying but I scanned those amulets. Seems they’re missing from a private collector’s case. I think I should get them back for him.

I just hope the modifications and boosts to my anti-grav powers Carl and I worked out will work. We also re-started the magnetic resonance systems so I can emit tissue regenerative waves in all directions, or direct an intense beam at a single person. I always knew they were there… I had them to heal Josh just in case…

“Well what have we here?”

Oh crap…

“Check out the midget in armor guys!”

“Hey! Munchkin in a can!”

Oh HELL no. They did NOT just call me a munchkin.

“Check this out… FORE!”

Oh CRAP!!!

~Static~

Owowowowowowow…. Getting hit upside the head with a sledgehammer is NOT conducive to proper CPU cycles.

“O.K. you jerks…” Oh yeah… THAT’LL scare them. “You with the hammer. UP we go!”

~WHoosh~ “AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaa….”

Um… I think I put too much juice in that one.

“Holy crap! The Munchkin just launched Andy into orbit!”

“I am NOT a Munchkin!”

~Vrommm~ “GAH! Ugh… Uh….”

“Did I SAY you idiots could move? I think I’ll just leave you locked here until the cops arrive.”

“…aaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAH!!!” ~WHAM!~

Oh man… I have GOT to turn down the power on that lift. That HAD to hurt.

O.K. I’m radioing the cops now. They’ll find a group of twits here frozen in place. The increased gravity should wear off in about 20 mins, but they should be exhausted from just breathing by then. Easy pickings for the cops. The guy who kissed concrete however…

~Ktizzzz~

Against my better judgment, I healed him… but he’s still out like a light. O.K. Chess out for now.

20 min delay in feed

“Heya Carl. Let me upload the first journal into your hard-drive and we both can go over it. Carl? Why the long face Carl?”

“The test results are back from the lab Chess. We… We have a positive I.D. on the source of the bloodstains.”

“Oh… Oh man… Are they Paul’s? I’m gonna CRUSH this Nemesis expletive deleted when I find him.”

“No Chess… here.”

O.K. lets see here… No… No this can’t be right…

The bloodstains… are Josh’s…

Feed ended abruptly

Awesome post, definitely think that changing perspectives is a cool idea, very effective. Keep it coming.

Enjoying this greatly so far...can't wait to hear more.

*giggle fits* @ combat dialogue

will we get more? don't leave us hanging like that! Sure, I can fly, but heck! Have some compassion towards those of us hooked here. =D

Actually the next chapter is going to be a bit in comming. Outside forces have conspired against me if you will... (i.e. Work, and lack of a home PC at the moment).

However, I have a possible title for the next chapter if anyone is interested...

A Game of Chess: The Red Bishop

Can't wait. Everything thus far has been very enjoyable!

((OOC: Hope you guys like. I'm kinda worried I got a bit too depressing in this one. As always, comments and criticisims are greatly appreciated!))

A Game of Chess: The Red Bishop

<Begin Feed>

Whoever said that robots don’t dream is a damn liar. I should know, I’ve been having nightmares for the last two days.

I’m not sure if it was the shock of finding out the blood on the note was Josh’s or seeing the kind of damage I could do.

You know about the first if you’ve been monitoring my feeds Doc. The second, well the second came later that night.

I was freaked out you know? I still am, and terrified as to what happened to Josh. So I decided to run outside. Go somewhere, anywhere to get away and think. You came running after me of course Carl, and to be honest I probably should have stayed to talk.

Then the second thing would have never happened.

I knew I was having power problems with my abilities, so when I accessed the gravitational powers to cause the phase-shift teleport I should have not been surprised to find myself no-where near where I was aiming for. I was trying to get on top of that globe Atlas holds and instead find myself damn well near several miles away.

It was my home Carl… Josh’s home. And here I was on the doorstep like the prodigal son returning. I don’t know why I wound up there, but at that moment I didn’t care. I just wanted to be alone.

I found the old tree house Josh and I made out back and went up to hide. I must have been sitting there for almost three hours before she came.

Her name is Suzie, and she knew Josh but never met me. Josh didn’t talk much about her, and the little I knew was that Josh had a slight crush on her.

The look on her face when she saw me was one of terror however. She yelped and almost let go of the ladder. Out of pure instinct I grabbed her with my gravity powers and made her safe.

“Are you an angel?” She asked.

“Nope… Just a glorified toy.” Was all I responded. She came closer and sat in front of me. Hell doc, a BLIND man could have seen the bruises on her. A black eye, bruised arms, and two cracked ribs. I have no idea how she had the strength to even climb that tree. I tapped into the healing wavelengths and set to fixing her up right away.

The look on her face was priceless. “You ARE an angel.” She said. I shook my head again and sat back down as she felt her side.

“How can you not be? You saved me and healed me.”

“I couldn’t do that for my family.” I whispered. She edged closer and sat next to me.

“Wait, you mean the family that used to live here?” I nodded and she leaned into my faceplate and gasped.

“You were the toy Josh never showed to me! No wonder! You’re keen Mr….”

“Chess. My name is Chess.”

“Figures Josh would give you a dopey name like that. Still you look cool. But you said you could not save them? Save them from what? The Ritki?” I tilted my head and wondered if this kid was jerking me around.

“Don’t you remember them being taken before that? Something coming into the house and no-one else coming out before the attack? It was like two days before everything went down in Paragon city!”

She shook her head and sighed. “Nope… two days before Paragon city was attacked Josh was in school with me. And then… then…” Tears filled her eyes and she began to sob. I leaned over and put an arm about her, trying to comfort her.

“He died… So did his dad… Why don’t you know this? They were in the street when the first blast from a Ritki ship hit this neighborhood. I saw… I saw them die Chess. When the battle ended I was at the funeral…”

Look Doc, if you think your news jolted me before try thinking about what hit me then.

I’m not sure what a vomit coming on feels like to you, but I’m pretty sure I had the robot equivalent of it.

Now it was Suzie who placed her arms about me. She patted my head and held me like a battered teddy bear.

“Look Mr. Angel. I’m gonna call you that because I like it better than Chess. I’m sorry what happened… I… I really liked Josh.”

“He liked you too, and he DIDN’T die that way. Show me…”

“Show you what?”

“Show me the graves Suzie. I want to see them.”

Without a word she tugged my hand and led me out of the tree house. Into the cold night we went, and soon found ourselves in the local graveyard. Suzie led me a pair of markers and sat near them.

“I come here sometimes.” She said softly. “I come here to think and get away…”

Doc you heartless *******, I swear if you knew. It was THEIR names on the headstones damnitt. Dead and buried and I fell at their graves and onto my knees.

Suzie is probably the first person to hear a robot weep Doc. Because that’s what I did. No tears of course for obvious reasons, but that could be the only thing I was doing. I scanned the ground and there are bodies in the coffins Doc… Right size and everything.

Dear God Carl, why didn’t you TELL ME!!!

Suzie came up behind me then and placed her hand on my shoulder. She was going to say something when it happened. A man came up and slapped her away from me.

“Little ****!” He roared. He had a broken bottle in one hand and his belt in the other. The shards of the bottle fell to the ground nearby. I hadn’t even heard the break when he smashed it on Suzie’s head. She was crying.

“They’re DEAD! They can’t help you now! You MOTHER can’t help you! Don’t you EVER run from me again!” The man lashed out with the belt and struck Suzie on the back. It was hard enough to tear fabric and leave a welt behind.

“I’m your FATHER! You will LISTEN! Why do you make me hurt you!” The man reared again.

He picked the wrong night, the wrong little girl, and the wrong place to be.

I stood up and caught the belt as he was bringing it down again. In his drunken haze I’m not sure what he saw. All I could hear was Suzie crying and begging for forgiveness from a man who didn’t deserve anything, least of all a child.

“What the hell…” The man groggily asked.

“You will never hurt a child again. Not her, not anyone.” The man laughed and leaned down to poke me in the faceplate.

“Heh… must be some kinda junky toy from the Mad-Doc’s old place. You fish this piece of crap out of their house to put on your defender’s grave, ****?”

You probably read the rest on the news by now.

I’m not sure how much force I hit him with, but considering what they’re reporting they recovered I’d estimate it was about 4000G’s. I saw the man in the blink of an eye go from a huge menace, to a terrified looking person, to a haze of red and a pancake of flesh right in front of me.

Paragon news is reporting about some new kind of hero or villain that turned a man into paste in front of a terrified little girl’s eyes. She was saying that the “Angel” saved her, and was only trying to find out what happened to his family.

The news is piecing things together Doc, but the force I hit that guy with pulverized the graves and probably anything in them.

The best the news has is some small “Angel” saved a girl from an abusive father using excessive force, and that some link exists between the “Angel” and the graves.

Robots do dream Doc. I’ve seen that scene replayed in my head every night now, and it’s NOT a data loop. I’ve also seen Paul and Josh crawl from their graves Carl. Mashed and mangled beyond recognition but it was them.

“You could not defend us but you defend her?” Josh calls…

“You were never supposed to kill Chess! I gave my life trying to make sure you would never kill!” And then I see Suzie’s dad going from menace, to scared, to red mist again, and again, and again…

That’s why I have not come in again Carl. That’s why I’m in hiding even from you. I’m not a toy, I’m not an angel, I’m not even a weapon like I was designed to be.

What the hell am I Carl? And what the hell is real?

<End Feed>

Personal Log of Doctor Carl Johansen.

I received this disc from Chess just a few hours ago. His detailed description clearly shows that Suzie exaggerated hers a bit. Seems to her eyes Chess swelled when he fought her father and became “Like a guardian Angel.” Of course the bad press has already labeled the incident akin to something out of the inquisition, and the religious references from them and Suzie gave rise to the name “The Bloody Bishop”, or as less inflammatory papers have called him “The Red Bishop.”

I wish I had some way of contacting him now. I had no clue about the graves, or even about neighbors that knew Paul and Josh. The graveyard is now in a media frenzy and I highly doubt I could get the clearance to have the sites exhumed for analysis anyway.

My gut tells me that whatever bodies are in those graves are NOT those of my dear friend and his son. But I have little proof of that to show to the one person who needs to hear it the most.

I’m not sure what Chess is going to do now. In his state it is totally unpredictable. I will however do my best to try and help him however I can from here. There is more going on to this letter, the bloodstains, and now the filled graves. How does Nemesis fit into this picture really?

For the sake of Chess and myself I hope answers can be found.

Heya folks,

Question for you all. I'm struggling with the next chapter. I know what I want to do, but I figured I'd leave the next step getting there to you guys.

What would you rather hear next?

A Game of Chess: A joining of Rooks. Where Chess encounters other heroes and gets a better feeling of what he can do, and what he could become.

or

A Game of Chess: Movements of a Dark King. Wherein we finally meet in the shadows the one manipulating Chess and find out that there is indeed more going on than anyone has surmised...

Essentially one is Chess meeting other heroes and will be a "Log" again. The other will be an overheard conversation of the main villians of the story.

Help me out here, both will be written eventually, but I'd like to hear where to go to first.

Thanks in advance!

I think fleshing Chess out as a character is pretty important right now... Although his saga thus far is well written, I am still not relating to him as a "Person". Getting his insights into people and how people react to him... and getting a look at how the world responds to him as a HERO instead of as an object to be feared would go a long way toward rounding him out. Then, when you introduce the villain, we will care more about how this story applies to Chess as a person than how this story is a chronicle of a robot's fight with the 5th column... or whatever.

The personal approach is always, IMHO, the better way to go. I know that it may slow the story down a little, but that is not always bad.... Interspersing fast moments with slower moments makes for a more exciting ride all around than just fast fast fast fast done.

*drools*

such an addiction.

Shadowmantle, are you reading the same story here? This is as far from a rushed story as it could be - if you can't see Chess' motives, and how things affect him yet, I don't think you read what I read.

In answer to which first - I think that it is first the priority to develop who Chess will be fighting with than who he will be fighting against. I vote for 'Rooks Unite' solely for the purpose of seeing the 'good guys' developed before I start trying to figure out the 'bad guy'. Either way though, dont leave me hanging lol -- loving this story.

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Shadowmantle, are you reading the same story here? This is as far from a rushed story as it could be - if you can't see Chess' motives, and how things affect him yet, I don't think you read what I read.

In answer to which first - I think that it is first the priority to develop who Chess will be fighting with than who he will be fighting against. I vote for 'Rooks Unite' solely for the purpose of seeing the 'good guys' developed before I start trying to figure out the 'bad guy'. Either way though, dont leave me hanging lol -- loving this story.

[/ QUOTE ]
I didn't say the story was rushed, and apologize if that is the impression I gave. What I was suggesting was that we still need more character development for my taste (But I like to read Dickens, so my opinion may be skewed.) and that varying the pace of the story (Regardless of what that pace is...) makes for a more interesting read.

Well for what it's worth, I've decided that perhaps a bit more character development on Chess would NOT be a bad idea. I appreciate the comments a lot, and I'm glad to know people like the story thus far.

I'm working on the next chapter and I'm also talking with Jennifer8 about using Girl Genius in the story. This way I have another character that is really out there for Chess to interact with. I like the idea of having Chess meet an interact with someone whom I didn't create. Hopefully that will force me to think more like the character when speaking and acting for him.

Any other suggestions for the next chapter would be greatly appreciated, and I may use one or two other heroes in the story for Chess to meet. If your interested drop me a PM and we can talk.

Cheers!

Heya!

Just in case anyone cares, I made a "Duplicate" Chess on the Virtue Server recently. The original is on Protector, but since I began a slow shift over to a more RP heavy server I've been moving my characters as well.

Right now Chess is just level 1. Hey it was a late night and didn't have a chance to level him much. Which brings me to the point, I'd love to meet some other RPers on Virtue as I work on my little buddy. If you're online look fo the name Chess. Note the period at the end... I had to add that to get the name.

Anyway, the next chapter is in progress and I hope to see some of you all soon!

--->E.

Bumping this to keep it alive...

Working on the next chapter but it's taking a while, but stay tuned!

You ever hit writers block with something? I mean really hit it? Lke running full speed and slamming into a wall? that's about where I'm at with this.

If anyone has some suggestions I'd REALLY appreciate the help.

--->Erik

Make him meet other heroes!
like Tick-Tok!(yes Tick-tok! mihihihihi!)
I really enjoy your story!
keep upthe good work!

This story has been truly enjoyable. Don't rush yourself. It's all about the quality. Keep it up man, and take care.