imported_FaeryFire

I spotted Subaiku after posting my comment. And didn't want to edit it.

Yes [img]/uk/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] "I" am twice on the poster.

A real nice pieace of work.
Different media than drawing, different tools.

I believe Subaiku should appear on the poster (instead of Star Crusader for example).

[ QUOTE ]
It also contains inter-character symbolism open to those who know the situations. Good usage of personal information. [img]/uk/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

Yup. Knowing the characters allows a second reading of the poster.

Having seen the Coile & Sword drawing before you added the background, it went from a good picture to a very good quality picture.

The scenery adds a lot to pictures. I hope you'll add backgrounds from time to time to your favorite pics (either old ones or coming).

And I prefer Sister of Night over Pyranha Flamehair.
Subaiku expression, her eyes, are very evocative to me.

One more post to praise your work.

I also like to see your drawing change with time. You are improving.
Good work. Very.

*****

Silent Tempest log

Log date : 06/06

keywords : Rakila, Phaine, training, teaching

A second breath

I've talked to the girl called Rakila two days ago. The Tempest member Coile proposed some training and led her to the training room.
There, it appears he wanted a combat training but when hit by Rakila, it triggered something in his mind, possibly making him relive the psychic assault he was victim of earlier, from Azure Sting.

The Tempest members Coila and the Sword of Truth finally found Rakila and Coile. The girl was scared to death by Coile reaction who charged her and chased her.

After a lengthy discussion with Rakila, the Sword of Truth explained her point of view to Rakila about the girl situation. With those elements, it then appears Rakila suggested she works for the Silent Tempest in exchange of a shelter and teachings.
This suggestion was accepted by the team leaders, Coile and Coila.

Yesterday, the Tempest members Coila, Coile, Subaiku and the Sword of Truth met a young woman called Phaine, an acquaintance of Coile.
It looks Coile wants to help Phaine to develop and get a mastery over her powers, Phaine herself considering them unreliable and dangerous.

While the writer can't report a clear answer from Phaine, it looked likely the young woman accepted the offer.

Azure Sting

The investigation didn't make any progress.
It looks the Silent Tempest cannot find any clue to understand where Azure Sting fled and what were her true motives.
The writer now suggests to focus on how the real Azure Sting ended being the target of the impersonator. That event is likely to have happen about three weeks ago.
We may be able to find clues about the impersonator by learning what happened to the real Azure Sting at that time.
During the investigation in Bloody Bay, it appears the real Azure Sting had a partner called Highnoon.
The writer suggests to search for that man and interrogate him. He may even become an unexpected ally in this affair.

Element of worthy notice

The writer wants to underline the fact Rakila is 14 years old. It seems she claimed to be 16.
The writer disapproves the idea of a combat training with someone that young.

*****

Personnal log

Rakila

A lost girl. I couldn't just let her go after realizing what is her situation. She's alone, will run out of money soon and so young.
I am happy she came to suggest to work with the Tempest, that's what I wanted.
I am not sure she will really help us in any way, currently. At 14, I don't expect much from her.
After several years, if she's still with us and is willing, she might start to become a real asset. Until then, we will take care of her.
Coile and Coila didn't oppose the idea and they probably have their own reasons to see Rakila around.

Phaine

I just met the woman and barely knows her. Another lost one, sort of. I don't know why Coile wants to help her but that's good.

Kitia

Most of my patrolling time spent with someone of the team is with Kitia. Her confidence in her powers is quickly returning after a time where she was in doubt.
I learned to appreciate having her backing me.

Kitia looked a bit shocked when discovering the nature of the creatures claiming to be the Devouring Earth. She believes those are corrupted creatures, possibly by magic or evil spirits.
She might be right, and indeed I hope she is, but I never found a single clue supporting her view and opinion. No magic, no spirits.
Mother nature couldn't be so destructive ? Well, I hope.

Coile

He feels better. Looks like some days spent at my home truly helped him.
So, it looked as a good idea finally.
Was it ?
Coile suggested he could stay at my home, permanently.
I was ready to dismiss the idea without really giving it a second thought. But I wanted to see why Coile was suggesting that.
He argued staying with me helps him to build his confidence. Maybe because I am stable.
Still, I was decided to refuse when he started to talk about Phaine and Rakila and how he wanted to help them.
So I had to accept. I cannot pretend to support him becoming better, a strong and reliable leader and refusing to help him just after his crisis.
Ona personnal level, I am certain it won't bring any good. On a team level, he is probably right.

Holy Justice... He's going to live at my home.
It was a bad idea after all.

*****

*****

Silent Tempest log

Log date : 03/06

keywords : Azure Sting, Bloody Bay

Azure Sting investigations : dead ends

We led an raid against a base of rogue Arachnos elements in Bloody Bay.

Following my investigations in Bloody Bay, where the Tempest member Subaiku lost the tracks of Azure Sting, I discovered Azure Sting was lifted by an hovercraft, explaning the inability of Subaiku to continue the tracking.

Considering the various groups operating in Bloody Bay, I theorized the idea Azure Sting could have hire some former Arachnos or be in league with them, part of a larger scheme.

The raid on the Bloody bay base was sucessful, tactically speaking. However, no evidence of Azure Sting and the rogue Arachnos was found.

There are still a possibility they cooperated but the field troops we interrogated didn't know a lot of their leader's plan, who inexplicably, wasn't here.

Breaking in the base computer network and checking the logisitics didn't help. Datas are inconclusive : Azure Sting may, or many not, have been helped by the local Arachnos.

Rakila, a woman the Tempest member Coile met days ago, went to the Corps to check entries about Azure Sting.

Comment : a task which had in theory to be done by both Coile and Rakila. The writer underlines here the possibility of Rakila report being unreliable. The report proved to be at least partially accurate but the absence of double checking by a Tempest member, about a serious affair involving the Silent Tempest, is not something we should aim to repeat

We got the adress Azure Sting registered at the Corps. We also learned that she didn't work with MAGI, something that was a clear possibility since her disappearance and, with her, the statues she was looking for, fooling the Silent Tempest to help her.

At the registered place, an appartment in Skyway City, we didn't find evidence of recent Azure Sting presence.
However, it now appears the Azure Sting we met isn't, at all, the real Azure Sting but an impersonator. The purpose of the impersonnation isn't clear currently. But it provided a good cover in all cases, whe woman we met loooking very close to the real Azure Sting.

It appeared the appartment was unoccupied during the last three weeks. The missing pet of Azure Sting (a cat, according to various clues in the flat) suggests someone took care of it. Something reinforced by the fact the postal mail since three weeks was piled on a table.
The only possibility is someone friend with Azure Sting got her mail and her pet. It can be a neighbour or a family memner.

More invetigations on this is suggested, as it may clarify if Azure Sting planned to vanish three weeks ago, or if it is a spontaneous behaviour from someone friedly to her, seeing she was missing.

We didn't find any clue helping us to have an idea where Azure Sting fled.

It also appear MAGI was barely starting their own investigations on the statues she got. So, no chance there to guess her next move.

*****

*****

Log date : 06/01

Keywords : Azure Sting, telepathy, murder, Kitia


The Azure Sting mystery

Yesterday, the Silent Tempest member Coila, Coile, the Sword of Truth and Azure Sting entered a warehouse in Atlas Park, following Azure Sting call.

Azure Sting was looking for a man, supposedly a Hellion leader, to interrogate him about future plans of the gang.

During the operation, three containers were discovered, inside which several items, identified as magical artefacts by Azure Sting, were found.

Azure Sting submitted the following plan to the team : Coila, Coile and the Sword of Truth had to stand by the containers, ready to grab the said items at Azure Sting signal.
Azure Sting, on the other hand, was interrogating the Hellion leader.

The writer underlines the strangeness of this situation. Each member of the team was alone, being out of sight of each other.
The writer, while immediately dubious concerning this procedure, notably because of the lack of urgency, accepted to follow it nonetheless.

Shortly before Azure Sting gave the signal, groans were heard on the operationnal communication network. Considering the situation, the writer supposes they were from the man under Azure Sting custody.

However, when the signal came, the team complied, removed the artefacts and exited the place.

In the immediate aftermath, it appeared the Tempest member The Sword of Truth was suffering from a side effect of the magical nature of the artefact she was carrying.
Soon, the Tempest member Coile informed the team about a problem concerning previous deliveries of artefacts, to MAGI offices, by Azure Sting.

It was decided Coile and Azure Sting, carrying all the recovered artefacts, would fly to MAGI offices to sort the problem out.
At that moment, the Tempest member Coila was patrolling the neighboring area.

Then the Silent Tempest communication grid suffered of a massive system failure.
The writer is asking that Steel Guard, who installed the system in the previous days, look at the system and run a complete diagnostic to identify the failure origin.

During almost half an hour, the Silent Tempest members were unable to communicate with each other.
Afterward, neither Coile or Azure Sting answered to the Sword of Truth calls.

The Sword of Truth soon started to look in Atlas Park for Coile and Azure Sting, informing the Tempest member Subaiku of the situation.

It was indeed Subaiku who found Coile, lying in Prometheus Park, barely conscious.
Subaiku was able to find tracks identified as being from a woman leaving the site where Coile was found. Subaiku then followed the tracks tothe best of her abilities.

It will be known later that Subaiku lost the trail when entering Bloody Bay. Subaiku made the conclusion her quarry was lifted by an air transport.

The Sword of Truth was then contacted by the Paragon City Police Department, who told her someone was found dead in the warehouse where the operation against the Hellions happened.
Whiile no confirmation was given at that moment, it is supposed the Hellion leader interrogated by Azure Sting was murdered.

During that time, the Sword of Truth was joined by Coila and the Tempest member Kitia in Prometheus Park.
Despite Kitia best efforts and healing abilities, Coile condition couldn't be improved. It was decided to carry him to the hospital.

The Tempest members Coila, Kitia, Subaiku and the Sword of Truth stayed at the hospital, waiting for Coile condition improvements.

Later, when the medical staff confirmed Coile wasn't danger but still shocked, the Sword of Truth decided to bring Coile at her home on Talos Island, as he was needing a calm place to rest.

Investigations

It is important to notice the operation in the Hellion cache ended in a strange situation, where Azure Sting separated each member and was left alone with the gang leader.

While the situation appeared dubious to the writer, only a vague comment was made at that time.
Immediately after the team exited the place, the writer, again suspicious, asked Azure Sting where the Hellion leader was. Azure Sting replied he was still inside, not making it an important matter but probably hiding the truth the man was dead.

Coile and Azure Sting flew together to MAGI offices. At that moment, Coile was assaulted, most probably with telepathic powers and incapacited, left in the turmoil of his own emotions and memories, reliving painful moments.

Subaiku was only able to track one person leaving. It is then supposed Azure Sting left the place after the attack on Coile.

With those different elements to consider, the writer is seeing two theories :

a/ Azure Sting just fooled the whole team before and since she joined the Silent Tempest, working on her own agenda.
b/ Azure Sting is innocent but is mentally controlled by someone else.

As it was already pointed during that affair, the Silent Tempest is in need of a telepath to root out the truth about that, as many elements are suggesting a telepathic activity.

element of worthy notice

Kitia came back from her meditation place. Her body changed, she is declaring her powers changed too. Apparently, while she is no longer able to use them as efficiently as before, they seem to be more reliable and stable.
Visually, Kitia looks more feline than before. Her attunement to nature is more vivid, according to her wording.
Her personnality doesn't seem to have changed that much, fortunately. The writer, however, reports some difference in personnality quirks.

*****

Personnal log

Azure Sting

Something was wrong with Azure Sting. I was feeling that since a couple of days. The last time she called us, I noticed she seemed to enjoy hitting Hellions. Not fighting. Hitting.

Yesterday, when she announced she was going to interrogate, alone, the gang leader, I started to be suspicious.
The whole thing about the artefacts, which separated us, also sounded curious.

I didn't comment, nor opposed, to that plan. But someone ended murdered.

Now, what is important to know about Azure Sting is to determine if she murdered the Hellion knowingly or if some kind of mental control happened.

Coila

I don't know really how she is. Since her infection with that DNA damaging virus, she's wearing a complete suit her father sent. The suit has an kind of internal watching or healing system, to help her survive, or adapt ?

Coile

I decided to bring Coile at home rather than his own hotel room. I know he's going to hate me because of that but I didn't want to leave him alone after the mental and emotional shock he was suffering.

Currently, he seems happy with that decision. I am not sure it will be the case in the future...

Kitia

Our feline woman appears to live through her changes without too much trouble.
I just wish Coila could spend more time with her, she could probably help Kitia far more than me.

Me

I am exhausted. Not physically but my mind is starting to be close to its breaking point.
From Coila to Kitia, to Coila, to Coile then Kitia, then Coile, and Kitia... I lost the count of the number of emotional crisis.
I cannot help them all by myself...

Who is helping me ?

*****

((Following is the open content from the Sword of Truth, entered in the Silent Tempest base computer))

*****

Log date : 05/29

Keywords : base, power source, strike, Silent Tempest, structure, conflicts

Silent Tempest base of operations

Steel Guard recently installed a power source in the base. Gaining recognition and reputation at the Corps, the town authorities, allowed us to receive logistical support.
It is obvious to me we need to prove our work as a team has a real positive impact for the town in order to get more support in the future.

The resources to fight crime are stretched and I understand all registered supergroups can't claim a fully functionnal base just because they want.

There is no wonder why we were able to get the support to install a power source after our strike against the Clockwork King.

Considering most of the Silent Tempest members are meddling in the Freakshow activities, the writer suggests here to focus our attention on this particuliar group and prepare a decisive strike against the Freakshow in the near future.

However, the fight is a promise of a long and difficult task so has to be carefully planned to ensure all Silent Tempest members are ready and available.

Internal relationships

Coile, Coila and Kitia are all having, or had, personnal crisis. It turned to personnal conflicts several times.

The last crisis turned into a structure problem. After Coila got analysis results of a chemical product Coile was ingesting, the danger of an addiction or side effects on Coile became apparent.

As Coile refused the idea the team could command him to stop ingesting the said chemical product, the writer suggests things have to be clarified about the team role and its capacity to make its members comply to a common decision.

As the Silent Tempest is a dual entity, led by two members of equal standing, the writer is asking how a conflict between the two lead members will be solved.

Associating with other groups

The Silent Tempest decided to associate with Ghost Tiger Investigations recently.
This cooperation with a Private Eyes team can greatly enhance our capacity to locate criminal and malevolent organizations.

That said, the writer is asking if future cooperations to be announced are the only responsabilities of the co-leadership or has to be submitted to the whole team approval.
The writer, trusting the co-leadership judgement, is not asking for a whole team approval.

*****


((Below is a personnal log. It is encrypted but free for you all to read, OOC'ly of course))

I am in the Silent Tempest since almost three weeks now. The base is slowly but regularly expanding.
We now have to work even harder to show the Silent Tempest is a force to be recognized and supported by the town authorities.

The technology we could install in the base would greatly improve our capacity to fight crime across the town.

The team activity decreased a little since the last week, notably because of Coila and Kitia "going away". I hope we'll all be able to muster our forces again regularly.

Kitia is my deepest worry. She looks as if something just snaped in her mind since Coila two disappearances.
Kitia wasn't in position to help her lover the two times. I am also afraid she felt as if not worthy enough to be Coila confident. A kind of breach in their mutual trust.
When I meet Kitia now, it's as if her mind was back several years ago, even if I don't know her. It's just a feeling, I can't really compare.

Coila seems to have gone through her trauma following the vazhilok infection. She hides her face. The scar looks deeper than just physical damage.

Coile is going to make me mad. Yesterday, I almost slaped him in the face.
I know our relationship is difficult but I now have trouble to stay calm.
I have to work on that if I want to stay in the Silent Tempest. I cannot ask him to control his emotions if I am not able to control mine. It would otherwise end into an endless fingerpointing at each other.
I am actually lost, somewhat disarmed in front of him.
Apparently, only adopting a cold attitude will suit his tastes. Otherwise, he will just say I am flirting or teasing him.
So far, I have to carefully think what I am going to tell him, I have to watch my behaviour. I cannot allow anything really friendly happening as I know it will backfire almost immediately.
That's really sad. He can be a real nice guy at times.

Subaiku is secretive. She's most of the time doing her work on her own. Sometimes, she surprises me, when she leaves without warnings or when she decides to not answer to Coila calls.

Steel Guard is the efficient addition. Little emotionnal involvement in the team, which is be a good thing, seeing how often personnal feelings interfere with the team, hopefully never to become a problem however.
He's our technician and I trust him about the base development.

*****

[ QUOTE ]
The chicken or the egg discussion. You say I won't change them, I say I can't.

[/ QUOTE ]

It's a game.

----

Free choice :

GG is about individuals. Coalition is about supergroups.
The same rules can't be applied to both. We are all aware of this.

Same for supergroup joining rules, told or untold. They exist and it never was a problem.

Tagging along a coalition is no harder than tagging along a supergroup you don't belong to.

Where is the problem ?

[ QUOTE ]
So frankly, it's join or die. You either adjust and fit into the regime, or you're an 'outcast'. Tell me, where's the free choice in that?


[/ QUOTE ]

There is a minimum requirement to belong to a RP supergroup. Which is a problem to no one .

Your comment would be valid if the coalition starts to do exclusive activities like "you're one of us or you don't come with us". And then, I could agree with you.
Yet, with such an attitude, would you like to join them anyway ? So where is the loss ?

----
Access to Coalition chat

There are global channels set by RP SGs who are not open to all. They are restricted to only invited players.
Is it a problem to you ?

----
GGers and missions

No, I am not speaking about "people coming late because of a mission" I am speaking about people who don't come at all because they have fun in missions.
I just check my global friends list.

And how does it come you are supposing "12 SG with active members" are not going to show at GG ?

Why shouldn't they acknowledge, as a coalition, the existence of GG (if they are not already aware) and see it as a nice place to come by ?

Why couldn't they coordinate their activities out of GG time ?

Why, even, couldn't they come by GG to speak about their activities, allowing others non-SG members to have a chance to tag along ??


No worries. I understand perfectly your comments and also see the "danger of dissolution". That's why it's a discussion, why Coile started to share his ideas.

Actually, Battleflag already took care of comments as he first suggested to meet in Atlas, then changed his mind and proposed the Corps building in Galaxy City.

Now, at 7pm, there is noone at the statue so who cares if he sets a meeting point at the statue or not ?

Still, the Corps building or the statue, they are not far from each other. Fusing the two can be a possibility just to enhance/maintain GG as a focal point.

Yes, maybe you're stuck because of what you choosed for your characters, how you designed them, all you played them.
You won't discard them, change their background, you won't create or develop a new character because it doesn't appeal to you.

All of this is tied to *your* decisions.
I respect your choices and gaming style but don't make them a general rule.

I understand the hints and I am confident in the fact Coile is aware of what you are underlining. As you noticed, he's discussing about this. He's not coming like the messiah to explain all RPers around what to do and how to play.
So, it's exactly what is discussed here : a plan.

Rules about coalitions are similar to the ones in Supergroups.
Not everyone can fit in.
And it obviously was never a problem to anyone here.

As it was stated very often on those very boards, Galaxy Girl meetings are not for everyone too.
GGers often had to refute the reputation of being elitist or "a clique".It was never seen as a problem, it was just "yeah, GG is not for everyone"

So we have :

Supergroups which are not for everyone
GG meetings which are not for everyone

So, why on earth should a coalition be for everyone ?

Rules are clear : you want to participate to a coalition, join a SG which is in.

You don't want to join a SG ?
It doesn't prevent you at all to try to approach the various participating SGs and tag along them.
Where is the problem ?

----

Again, there are two different things here :
- communication between RPers, server wide, which can be handled through a global channel and totally open for everyone
- a coalition between Supergroups, which is by nature for supergroups and not individuals and can be set with as many known or untold rules than any supergroup or GG meetings.

The discussion is oscillating between those two different things.

----

[ QUOTE ]
Cause let’s face it, 2 hours to do ic missions, specially when things go well, is not enough, so I am positive there will be plenty of times when this time flows into the GG time

[/ QUOTE ]

Sorry, but it's not a discussion about Galaxy Girl meetings even if I understand why you are speaking about them and the "possible" rift.

You say some GGers could be involved into this and the time dedicated to that will flow into GG time.
Actually, many regular GGers already have 0 problems to not come by the statue when they want to do missions. Coalition or not.

And what if people enjoy more doing missions (IC or not) than coming at the statue ?

[ QUOTE ]
Again, just to make one premise clear, I absolutely agree that the basic for any new concept should be no seclusion or exclusion (with a possible proviso for established "griefers").

[/ QUOTE ]

when you start a roleplaying SG, you are probably setting limits to the kind of character concepts you will allow in.

There are RP SGs "open to everyone whoever they are", there are RP SGs who are not open at all to everyone.

So, why now considering everyone should be able to participate to a coalition ?

[ QUOTE ]
But what about SG's who will not, for rp reasons of their own, join this coalition? Are they to be cast out?

I'm sorry, but I see quite a few flaws here, and feel the need to point them out before they become problems.
Are there new SG's to be created for this plan, new toons? As I know a few SG's who would not coalition themselves with 'strangers'. Also, I see a lot of individuals, who don't really have an IC SG, are they to be left out?

Like it or not, this doesn't seem as open an idea as, say, GG is.

[/ QUOTE ]

If a coalition is created under IC reasons, if the character you are playing can't fit in because of the concept you choosed for him or her, I don't see where is the problem. Yes, you're left out but it's because of the concept you choosed to play.

If a RP SG, for concept reasons, refuses to associate with complete strangers, this is a concept issue this SG sets itself.

I mean that if you create a loner, a secretive or selective SG, even if it is perfectly good in terms of RP concept, you have just put yourself limits. It wasn't forced upon you, it's your choice.

If you don't belong to a RP SG, for concept reason or not, yes you're left out of the coalition mechanic.
But it's not an issue on the coalition side. It is probably your choice to not be in a SG.

A coalition is not about helping people to meet. It's a game mechanic for Supergroups only.
If you're not in a SG, you're out. Period.

If you created a SG not associating with complete strangers, you're out. Period.

But nowhere I see something else than limits you created yourself.

The coalition doesn't have to be "open" to every character or SG style. I understand it supposes a minimum of character concepts that fit with it.
Not a big news actually. Most of RP SG suppose a minimum of character concept to enter them. So, the same for a coalition. I don't see a problem.

If you decided to have a character or SG whose concept can't fit in, it is your choice.
I respect that choice but don't see an issue there.

[ QUOTE ]
Just to give you a basic example, myself. I would have no character who would be able to join in this. 50% are in an OOC SG, the others are in an SG, but wouldn't go around blotting things with complete strangers. They have established backgrounds, have been around for ages...
Am I to be left out if I have the desire to join?

[/ QUOTE ]

If half your characters are in OOC SG, it's your choice.
If the other half won't associate with strangers, it's also your choice.

Then, why would you even join a coalition anyway ?

[ QUOTE ]
Also, what would be the ic justifcation for the coalition, the relationships of the individual characters within the group? You can think mechanics over a million times ooc, but if it doesn't fit ic, it's just waisted time.

[/ QUOTE ]

I understand the coalition idea from Coile as a supergroups work, not individuals.

His idea may not work at all if there is not enough SG with a similar mindset, theme, concept.
As far as I understand him here, he's just starting, probing to see what can be done.

Associating SGs ? Well, I can perfectly imagine the Fletched Alliance, the Workers of Eastern Europe and the Silent Tempest seeing how close they are in mindset and deciding to pool their forces, IC'ly I mean.
(just a guessing, the various SG members might disagree with me. I don't know that well all the SGs around Galaxy Girl).

----

Now, Coile threw various ideas there. He may clarify later.

Many players dislike Pocket D for reasons not tied to character concepts.
Like becoming mad because of the constant music, tired of seeing a group of zombies dancing around them because a mastermind wanted to show how cool zombies are when they dance (because, you know, before that mastermind arrived, noone ever saw zombies dancing).
There are also technical issues for players running CoH on old computers (like me).

Finally, Pocket D being also used as a convenient shortcut from one place to the other, you have people with a totally different mindset than roleplayers coming through, when it's less frequent almost anywhere else.
At times, I find Pocket D close to a (real) train station. And a (real) train station with people passing around is not the best place for me to socialize.

Pocket D is a nice place but I won't go there regularly.

(above is only my opinion)

I suppose having a different meeting place than GG is okay.

However, I suggest to stick to Galaxy City rather than choosing Atlas. As it will allow people to easily go from one place to the other.

Is Andre dead ?
[ QUOTE ]
The description of Andre being dead is on the same line with Andre thinking Kitia was dead, except in her case the omniscient observer told it was a glancing blow. This was intended. The stakes went higher as the story progressed.

Kitia's abilities were defines with the bird. Bringing back from the dead is impossible. Hence, Andre wasn't dead. Andrea just thought so. Which is important if you compare the reactions. Andre's was a violent lash to avenge, Andrea's was to protect, just in case there was a chance of her brother being alive. Andrea was put forward as the more level-headed of them.

[/ QUOTE ]

I understand the logic there and how you choosed to introduce those elments in the text.
But a casual reader may not be attentive enough and can end being confused.
Actually, I was confused at first and had to stop and think for a while to determine what happened exactly.
I believe a clearer statement would help.

Kitia abilities may be clear in your mind, what limits they have but, actually, as it is an origin story, the reader is expected to discover new things about the characters.

What we have is :

[ QUOTE ]
Kitia more crawled than walked to Andre. The delicate balance she possessed was countered by a disturbing thundering inside her head that distracted her focus in a major way. Gently she placed her hands on Andre’s forehead and began to concentrate. She fell into a trance that was so deep she became oblivious to anything else around her. It was left for Andrea to stand vigil.

[/ QUOTE ]

Here, Andre is apparently only injured. Nothing as dramatic as death is suggested because Kitia seemed to be confident she can halp.

then :

[ QUOTE ]
In a few minutes the three boys had left. Andrea just watched them go unwilling and perhaps incapable of stopping them. Besides, when she actively didn’t pay too much mind to them she could avoid thinking the numbers. Only three had left. She didn’t look at the lake. She just stared at Kitia hunched over the body of her brother and fought the growing nausea in her gut. He looked so restful. So much in peace. So dead.

[/ QUOTE ]

Here comes the suggestion Andre is dead.
Of course, Kitia didn't have that fear so we may consider it's just Andrea being wrong.
But we can also imagine Kitia wasn't able to heal Andre and he finally died.
The way "so dead" appears suggested me something changed. First he was injured, now he's dead.

But then :

[ QUOTE ]
The chilly breeze around the lake had turned cold. The last rays of daylight had gone and died. Under an oak tree sat three kids huddled together for warmth

[/ QUOTE ]

Andre is not only alive but no mention of his injuries is given.
(we get a mention about bandages later)

So the dramatic progression, as I understood it, is :
injured
dead
ok

My unease in this transition doesn't come from the state of mind of Andrea, the perceptions of things by the character but I had to reread the previous paragraph to understand correctly and figure what happened.
I had to guess Andrea was wrong about Andre being dead.

See my point : we first learn kitia can heal. Why, later, could she not resurrect someone ?
It could have been your intent to progressively introduce those aspects in Kitia character, up to her being able to resurrect people.
It's an origin story, the reader generally expect to see characters discovering new powers.


Pace of the story
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The pace was also by intent. In the beginning there is ample time to observe and digest the world. When it all goes upside down their capability of grasping it all gets squashed. They lose what little control they ever had and land from sunny grassy hills to a robotic concentration / boot camp.

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I also understand that. However, I find the before-lake and after-lake parts are unbalanced in terms of descriptions and character details.
You took great care to create a setting at first, detailing personnality quirks.
When "things get serious", the setting elements fade into the dark.

I am aware you wanted to write a short story, not a novel. I just wished you kept your style of writing from the first part down to the end.

[ QUOTE ]
Describing beings is my weak point. Hmm, I'll write descriptions of each ND model with notable variations just for exercise's sake. Then I'll have them ready for more stories.

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Don't worry, describing is difficult
I always find more difficult to write something to create a clear mental image of a character or a scenery than revealing plots and writing dialogues.

Sometimes, when I have an idea about something which can turn to a writing, I just write either quick notes or give a try at writing a whole scene.
Then, I keep the note for later uses.

[ QUOTE ]
JUST TYPE IC PLAYER INTO YOUR TEAM SEARCH

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I am hidden from team searches as <random_gamer_024" doesn't care if I am really looking for a team or not, he just invites, I may even type "No blind invites", it doesn't help. I mean, hello, it's written clearly but... no... "they" keep sending blind invites.
Not mentionning people who develop a sudden desire to be with me "for just a moment". Actually, just to clear their Defeat X mission because I happen to be in the same zone and they don't want to do it themselves.

Means... for me... I am not going to type anything like "IC character" in team search comments as I try as best as I can to avoid being listed here.

It's sad but I prefer to be hidden and miss a couple of opportunities rather than being the target of blind invites popping in front of me at the most inadequate moments.

Just my personnal preference.

[ QUOTE ]
D! You're allways the master of ripping people's stories to shreds

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Are you not exagerating a bit, here ?

I am interested by what others are writing because it helps me to think about how organizing stories, how to create mental pictures, how to... etc...
Actually, I am learning here.

Is ND-1 looking human ?
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Some indication of how she looks like is "crudely imitating female features" but that doesn't tell yet much.

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Yes. It's just a single statement however. It doesn't help a lot to "flesh out" ND-1.

ND-1 is my mommy
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The relationship between the kids and the robot is actually independent from how she looks.

[/ QUOTE ]

While I understand what you mean, I was interested.
Reading a story about kids having a human-like robot mother or a metal robot mother is interesting.
I'd say it's a hint about the openness of the kids. The reader could imagine kids having a tin box as a mother have a different perception about relationships.
It may sound like a paradox but I believe saying how non human looking ND-1 is can serve a purpose : underlining the fact how the robot look is not important in the relationship.

What ? Someone playing ND-3 ?
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not having met ND-3 kind of undermines my flimsy logic.

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I wasn't aware there is a ND-3 (player character) anyway.

The truth is out there
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I was hoping, in the end, that ND-2 escribing four boys being killed in an accident would smell lik efoul play and readers just accepting that ND-1's permanent disappearance would somehow be ue to that

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I believe this part, about the accident, can be understood.
It sounds like a "we managed that, forget it".
But the link to ND-1 might not be very obvious.
We suppose something happening to ND-1 (obviously) but what ? And as the matter is not discussed, I believe it weaken ND-1 role in the story, as if ND-1 disappearance wasn't important. Which might be intended, by the way.
Now, it's your story

The Nadias
[ QUOTE ]
That's something the kids will work on after the story more, but right then they had other things on their minds, or things missing as it was.

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I am still disappointed by their lack of reaction but it's still your story

Is Andre dead ?
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Correct! It was intended to lead to believe it was possible that Andre was dead. It was what Andrea very firmly believed. Or feared.

There was no resurrction as such. Andre wasn't too far gone, like the bird was. One aspect of the story was to define Kitia's abilities. Healing is possible, but raising from the dead is not.

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Ok but don't you think things are unclear here ?
He might be dead and then, no... he is not. Why ?
Now you say he couldn't have been resurrected but I had no idea about Kitia abilities when reading.


I am calling "game informative story" the texts that are destined to other players in a game, who have basic knowledge about many things (appearance, abilities etc).
Such texts fill the blank spaces in the chracter story and can explain some personnality traits, etc...

Don't get me wrong, as an informative story, yours is good. It serves its purpose by explaining to people who Coile/Coila/Kitia are, their relationships, their discovery of their own powers.

You wrote a great opener at first with the girls watching the bird, a second one with Kitia teasing Andre. Then, as if things were too serious, you focus only on "important elements" and then go deep into the informative story style.
As a consequence, I liked far more the first part than the second
The turning point is the chain gang agression when things are (rightfully) accelerating but won't slow until the end.

Still...
Good work !

[ QUOTE ]
I'm a bit puzzled as to how this works in gameplay. Can you actually configure the mechanics of the game as a modder would to create a custom mission?

If not, would you for example just put a different story to the Frostie mission and call him something else etc?

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You can't generate a mission at will, deciding the opponents etc...

Even if, it can be somewhat achieved using the journal missions in CoV (you get a slection of generic missions you can pick from).
If the journal mission generator is ported into CoH, you could use it to get maybe more genre oriented mission to support a story, a plot.
You won't have a total control over what is in the mission but it may be a workaround.
Yet, it's still a CoV only feature currently, maybe forever. So there is nothing to discuss about that and CoH.

I believe the main issue with roleplaying in missions is it slows the pace, sometimes a lot. Not everyone agrees on that.
And you don't always get a lot of things to do or say during missions (save bashing). There are not so many ways to say "Are you ok ?" or "Blasted <opponents> !".
It can be easier, however, during some specific, special, missions, because they go out of the normal frame.

An entertaining story and a good reading.

My comments :
- I waited for more details about Nadia at her first appearance. Can she barely pass for human, at a distance ? Is she full metal ?
I wanted to have such details just to imagine what could be the children relationship to the robot.

I have a mental picture of Nadia being a human shaped robot, still very robotic. A picture enhanced by descriptions about her proper use of grammar or lack of expressions, finally confirmed when ND-2 enters the story.
But until ND-2 enters the story, I hadn't a clear idea about ND-1.

Actually, the children don't get full description either but I minded less. It's easier to assume kids are just looking like kids. Robots, on the other hand, we are meeting them rarely in day to day life
A mental picture of a boy and two girls is easy. Robots being from fiction and vastly different in appearance, a mental picture is less spontaneously coming.

- the reason why the Chain gang crashed are unclear. The disappearance of ND-1 is unclear too.
So, depending if you plan to write another story, finally clearing the facts, or not, you may let the reader confused or not.
Here, in this only story and if I suppose no other will be written, it left the feeling you didn't really know how to "close" the lake affair and explain why the farm turns again to its calm life. As if you wanted to quickly evacuate the problem of witnesses.
Having read an earlier version, I know the Chain Gang and ND-1 fate. But this knowledge comes from the earlier work, not this story. ND-1 fate is not discussed. ND-2 doesn't even give a plausible explanation.
The children couldn't care less about ND-1 disappearance (like "ok, we again broke a Nadia") but ND-1 designation number is hinting the fact it was the first Nadia and the only one the kids knew.
I expected them trying to investigate about the missing ND-1.

Maybe they are ok with ND-2 being a perfect copy of ND-1 (ND-2 or ND-1, the same for them, same memory, same shared moments)
Maybe a single statement to confirm they accept ND-2 as "Nadia" ?

Their lack of questionning changed the relationship between them and the Nadias, to me.
It went from a "Nadia is mom" to "Nadia is just a robot, like any robot"

- I was confused two times when reading even if I figured what was happening.

First is :
[ QUOTE ]

She just stared at Kitia hunched over the body of her brother and fought the growing nausea in her gut. He looked so restful. So much in peace. So dead.

The chilly breeze around the lake had turned cold. The last rays of daylight had gone and died. Under an oak tree sat three kids huddled together for warmth, safety and to not be completely alone in the world.

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The hint is the brother is dead (or looks like). After, we discover he is not.
But it's not confirmed if he was dead and "resurrected" by Kitia, deeply wounded but not dead and healed, or if it was just Andrea fears that he was dead.

I believe the confusion comes from the use of "So dead" at the end. It raises the dramatic level of the story but immediately after, we are almost back to normal level of dramatic intensity.

"So much in peace" sounds like being afraid he's dead; "So dead" sounds like a confirmation.

Just my opinion of course.

[ QUOTE ]

Nadia turned her full attention to Kitia. ”While these plans primarily apply to master’s own progeny he is more than willing to extend this offer to include you as he has noticed your continuing companionship with his children. Do you accept?

Her ears were simply ringing.

[/ QUOTE ]



At first, I believed ND-2 ears were ringing

I hope you don't mind the comments

[ QUOTE ]
not to mention that the game story will likely conflict with your RPing.


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You can also ignore mission briefings and tailor a story of yours.

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3. What's the basic or not so basic difference in gameplay?

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To me, the major difference is you don't get a Gamemaster to validate or not character stories, concepts, consequences of action, storylines etc...

Indeed, the hidden gamemaster is the roleplaying crowd, and it's not always easy to deal with that GM.

Like you would probably choose your gamemaster in tabletop games, you have to choose your roleplaying crowd.
And like you have to play by your tabletop gamemaster rules, you will have to play by that roleplaying crowd rules.

a simple thing like the tolerance to out of character chat is sometimes handled vastly differently from one community to the others.

[ QUOTE ]
You DO realise at the very least Ellie, and probably the others, will browbeat Diurne untill she DOES relax and enjoy herself, instead of yet more training?

[/ QUOTE ]

But that's a day off ! She even didn't bring her bow !