Saint Valencrime

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  1. Saint Valencrime

    CoH the Musical

    The Story of Darrin (to the tune of Eddy's Teddy)

    From the day he was born
    he was trouble
    he was the thorn
    in the Midnight Squad's side

    They tried in vain
    but he never caused nothing but pain

    He came home when Statesman died

    From the day he was gone
    all he wanted
    was Rularuu to spawn
    wherever he liked
    stealing midnight squad junk
    he was a low down cheap little punk

    Taking everyone for a ride

    When Darrin said he didnt like Statesman
    You knew he was a no good kid
    but when he took Statesman life
    with a spell of strife

    What a guy
    makes Liberty cry
    and she did


    Everybody loathed him
    I very nearly croaked him
    I said Hey listen to me
    Spend eternity rescuing Percey Winkley
    But he opened the door and took away our things

    But he must have been drawn
    into something
    making him taunt
    us in a note that reads

    I'm out of my head
    HA HA UR Statesman's dead
    I must carry out my evil deeds

    When Darrin said he didnt like Statesman
    You knew he was a no good kid
    but when he took Statesman life
    with a spell of strife

    What a guy
    makes Liberty cry
    and she did
  2. How would your AE arc to kill the Statesman start? Here are a few ideas that I had ....


    Requiem: You, my most loyal of subjects, are to be privy to a secret. The Statesman has agreed to join Captain Cool's Sewer Trial Team. Now when he is at his weakest we will strike. Get the Maestro out of his lair and bring him to me. Get Burkholder off his stinkin island. Get every Robot, Vampyr, Warwolf and Marksman we have to our council base.

    This is what we've waited for. This is it boys this is WAR!



    The Prophet: Remember that group called Hickman's Heroes. The public never knew where they vanished to. Well they are all under my control and tomorrow at L hour they will all attack the Statesman. Grandma Disturbing, Frogs Legs, Manscaper, Bibbity Bobbity Boom, Peter Pants, Ghoul Aid, the Eensy Weensy Spygirl and all the others. To make sure they succeed I have also brought the Giant Monsters known as Sharktopus and Mansquito under my control. The lost will keep the heroes busy while the Statesman is brought down.

    Lost! Ready your breakfast and eat hearty... For tonight, we dine in Atlas Park!



    The Lord of Frosts: Here I sit alone. Looking for a reason to go on. Its so clear that all we have now are our battles of yesterday. Well no longer will the Lord of Frosts hide in Indignity. Tomorrow the last of the Americans warriors will fall. Gather my Ashigaru. Clean my brightest robe. Tell my Byakkotai that we have one last, greatest battle to fight.

    Deru kui wa utareru!



    Tyrant: So we are agreed to band together to rid of selves of this heroic fool version of ourselves. I, the Tyrant, Lord of Praetoria shall join with The Reichsman, Lord of Axis America and Imperious, Deposed Ruler of Cimerora. Even our long lost doppleganger Banana Republicsman will join in one last assault to purge ourselves of this heroic fool once and for all!



    Salamander: For years, we the Radio Mission bosses, have wreaked havoc on Paragon City. But the tedium is too much. Last week I kidnapped Clive Loveking and he gave me a coffee mug with my name on it. Gregor still gets calls from Dr Boyce Boyd wanting to meet at The Hungry Dragon and talk about old times. I have four storage lockers filled with Space Ship Blueprints, Blood Rubies, and Claws of Doom. The local pawn shops stopped hocking Crowns of Enos weeks ago.

    No longer will we struggle in silence to be skipped whenever someone gets a task force invitation. We will kill the Statesman! Tell Operative Barrow to gather his spiders. Tell Yewande to muster the dead. Tell Clemalion to summon his Thorns. Tell Baldorf to cluster his flock of Lost. Let the call go out to every deviant, miscreant, and black heart that the Statesman must fall!



    The Honoree: So how was our noble sacrifice received? I bet the women and children were crying for years. I bet they built statues of every last one of us. I bet every school child has memorized our final words to our loved ones. Statesman? He gave them capes? HE GAVE THEM CAPES! Do you know how they tortured us? Every day burning probes followed by dunking in the rikti stench pits! Listening to magical hero after magical hero scream in unending agony. HE GAVE THEM CAPES! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! MUST KILL!



    Malaise: Now that the mind witch has departed from my psyche you must help me with my greatest plan ever. I have switched every bottle of the Statesman's favorite cologne with Banana Extract. Tomorrow when he addresses the Banquet I shall give you the signal. You shall press the lever opening the container of 10,000 Rikti Monkeys. This will be more fun than a barrel of Monkeys. Heehee. It will be chimply marvellous! Hohoho! When they throw all that poo at the Statesman it will be third debris assault! Muhaha! When they see Statesman and start throwing it will be Monkey See Monkey Doo Doo! Hahaha!

    Wait! Don't Leave. This is a great plan. Stop walking out that door villain. I saw that facepalm mister! We still have monkey business to finish! Wait, I didn't mean that!



    Longbow Commander of Bloody Bay: Yesterday Statesman came in and wiped out Arachnos in 15 minutes. He said it was on his to do list and he finally got around to it. Do you know how many friends and colleagues I lost in Bloody Bay. My cousin Jose lost his spleen to an Arachnos Widow! He could have been saved but NOOOOOOOO the Statesman had more important things to do. Gather everyone who has lost friends in Bloody Bay. Tomorrow we call Shennanigans on the Statesman!
  3. Quote:
    Originally Posted by Darth_Khasei View Post
    Because the guy was such a tool, understood.
    So how many times did you talk with him? Every time I traded messages with him he was always polite and respectful. Did you ever actually talk to the guy?
  4. Quote:
    Originally Posted by 2short2care View Post
    Saint are you Steelclaw in disguise? :P Also LOL
    Not Steelclaw but I like them already...




    You buy Ninja Run from the Paragon Store and they convince you to take the Wagon Queen Family Truckster instead

    You can't understand why a trial team doesn't need a Plant Necromancer

    Your character Concept and Bio are based on the Google Search results for Beast Mastery

    Your method of crowd control is challenging minions to Rock/Paper/Scissors

    Under Play Style in the Hero Designer it says Casualty

    Your character Bio has 7 paragraphs explaining how you got your powers from eating Scrapple

    The Help Channel gives assistance to the mobs you aggro'd

    Your contacts keep trying to use Petsay on you

    Your long quest for ultimate power leads to the Well of the Furries

    Failed Experiments see you and start Cosplay

    The Devs get a petition with 1302 signatures demanding your alt be added to the signature arc as the star
  5. The Skulls Welcoming Committee hands you a book of coupons and leaves

    Only two heros left for one spot to save Paragon. We pick Flambeaux!

    The sewers come and work you for XP

    You only get a Arachnos Park in their Parking Space on Sight Order for your souveneir

    The contact doesn't bother to disguise you to infiltrate the Hellions

    The Vahilzok look over your character's defeated body, grab your boots, and leave

    The Help Channel is silent when you ask for help six slotting Apprentice Charm

    The citizens being abducted by Circle of Thorns ask them to ceremony faster because you are getting closer

    Your clues are all invitations for Extreme Makeover

    Vahilzok Cadavers see your costume , turn the other way, and vomit