Jiblets

Oh and put me down as another person who deeply loathes the new boards. It took 3 days for me to figure out how to simply log in to them.

I have run 15-20 instances of CohUpdater.exe to get the patch downloading, usually waiting several hours each time for the server to deign serving. In the last couple of patches the updater has aborted the process *right at the end* of verifying because some file or another won't allow itself to be deleted (in use by another program), and forcing me to start from scratch. I am now alternating between keyboard smashing rage and cold, mean-spirited rage with intermittent bouts of suicidal ennui. I'm thinking of dashing off something hateful and snarky to support@coh.com, just to fill myself with feeling of remorse and guilt.


Is there some way I can just directly download the patch and hang on to it so I don't have to go through the whole mess again?

Do they know what they are putting some of us through? Do they even give a crap? The pleasure/inconvenience ratio is really starting to push me out of this game, and I want to give them another chance before I just delete everything and keep my $15 a month for art supplies and petroleum jelly.

would you rather,

1) turn your enemies into wimpy, limp-wristed, shivering spongecake with the unholy trinity of debuffs

or

2) knock them all over creation with multiple wind-themed powers (some of which also debuff, just nowhere near as much as /rad)


as cool as 1) sounds, its not very interesting to watch, just really effective. 2) on the other hand, is loads of fun.

I favor ranged sets - I hate chasing stuff down or waiting for it to come to me.

My vote is for an Elec/Storm Corrupter. Great fun on a team, great fun and very survivable solo.

Storm all by itself is just full of variety, and it fits so well thematically with Elec, which adds a hold and an unkillable pet you can lay down at any time.

The things that make Storm great are enough to fill several pages, and have been said more eloquently elsewhere.

On the Epic-ness issue:
Have you ever teamed with multiple VEATs, all running their leadership toggles? You collectively become an untouchable steamroller of mass destruction. It's like being on a well constructed team blueside, but with no need for a healer.

No, my young and ignorant friend, this is not what naturally happens when one sits at a computer and begins to type. This is what happens when a 12 year old sits at a computer and begins to type. Clarity and intelligence are sacrificed for brevity and some ineffable form of 'coolness'. Come back to us when you have completed high school, and perhaps we can engage in a civilized conversation.

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Many female shoes seem slightly too large; like the ones from the bridal and witch sets.

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I'm glad I'm not the only one who noticed this. It's not really the size that's the problem though, it's the distorted anatomy. The toe, arch, instep and heel on all of these new booster pack shoes are frankly ugly. They are grotesquely disproportionate and misshapen. On several of the newer 'free' flat heeled models, the heel of the foot sticks out in back to a degree that makes the foot look large and awkward. ExoProto, Stealth, and Cyborg spring to mind. It's as if the rigging of the ankle joint is displaced forward over the foot by a couple of inches.

I have not bought any of the booster packs since Cyborg, having been somewhat disappointed with its quality in the modeling department, but I have seen many toons in the game with the aforementioned shoes, and I must say I don't like the way any of them look. The instep - the part between the ball of the foot and the ankle, is far too long. There are lots of womens shoe styles that have ridiculously long, pointed toes, but not a long instep. That just makes them look freakish and wrong.

in the past, as a hughesnet user, I was counseled to run multiple instances of COHupdater to get past satellite's latency problem with getting connected - up to 20 instances would be run, and eventually one of them would get the server's attention and the patch would come through. This time around it's not working; The patcher comes through one of the instances, but then encounters a problem and crashes. It seems to want to alter the COHupdater file but finds that it is in use by another program.

Being a satellite user, running multiple instances is the only way to get connected on patches, otherwise the stupid program will sit there and attempt to connect til I go insane and smash the screen. I've seen it attempt to connect for 2 days.

Bah - the lag when the game is working is enough to make me want to give up MMOs altogether and save my money. Maybe I'll take up drinking.

something I feel is sorely missing from CoX is the option to fly...creepily. Ever see the movie 'Dark City'? Then you know what I mean. The villains in that movie are all cadaverously thin, pale bald men wearing black trenchcoats. They all have the ability to fly in a vertical position as if dangling from a string attached to the top of their heads.

I can think of a number of vertical flypose emotes that would do wonders for conveying a certain kind of menacing attitude, as well as a number that could convey beatific, spiritual, holier-than-thou attitudes. Given the right costume and aura, you could cook up some spectacular weirdos, character-wise.

I'd almost have to say that such a flypose should be made exclusive to CoV, given the nature of that game, but there are so many heroic types with a god-like 'I'll save you!' attitude that mebbe it fits just as well on blueside.

<ul type="square">[*]the dangling deadman - head inclined, with limbs slightly bent as if limp[*]It's a GHOST!! - arms outstretched, hands drooping, head lolling to one side [*]Saviour - head slightly inclined, arms spread slightly, hands facing out, legs overlapped, toe pointed down[*]Saviour2 - same as above, only hands are raised in front in a praying attitude[*]Duel - facing sidways
[*]the Master - arms crossed in front like a Djinn
[*]oh it's SO on - head inclined, shoulders back, arms spread, also to the back, fists cocked (nasty grin obligatory)[/list]
I've already read about the platform-based flyposes thread, and I have to say "Why didn't they put that in from the beginning?"

Recipes for different kinds of flying surfboard thingies would be a great addition to wings and rocket boots.

perhaps you hadn't noticed this about the Tarantulas, but all of them are shaped like a human being riding a racing motorcycle, with their legs bent and their heels tucked up behind their buttocks. For the most part, a tarantula is just a modified human being in an armored suit. This thing is just a head and a ribcage in an armored suit. Only the head and the spider legs are common to both as far as I can tell. [ QUOTE ]
she appears to be a corruption of the tarantula mistress in the foreground. the face chest and for lack of a better word hips are near identical to the tarantula mistress seen in the center right foreground. The shoulder cowling, legs and arms are markedly different in their placement and she seems to lack the abodomen of a tarantula. That may be hidden in the light behind her. I would put her closest in game analog to the arachnoids but even that is a stretch. In any event she's a nasty character very inhuman and not a thing i would want to meet hero or villain side.

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When CoV originally came out, one of the pack in collectors items was a poster with a "villains vs heroes battle scene". On the veeery far right hand side of that scene behind Ghost Widow was a character that was a creepy mixture of Tarantula Mistress and Spider Crab. What was that thing, and why haven't we ever heard or seen from it again? It appears to have been retconned out of existence like an out-of -favor member of the Communist party during Uncle Joe's heyday.

Someone thought it might be the once-mentioned and never spoken of again Weaver One.

(Long)



Let me say out front that I am not suggesting we have more grue in the game, I am not interested in seeing blood splashed all over the screen. What I am looking for is that sensation of delicious dread and horror when I see a Villain or a hero die in a particularly spectacular manner.

The first and last time I saw it in the game was when I first encountered Tarantula Mistresses in an Arachnos base and watched one explode after she had been defeated, showering bodyparts all over the corridor. Horrible! Brilliant!

I've seen few things that memorable since - The encounters with the Leviathan in the Temple of the Waters, seeing the Shadow Shards for the first time and the Chantry. Little else since has really grabbed me.

I think that needs to change, and one way to do that is by adding some more elements of peril, consequence and horror. Certainly plenty of NPCs have an origin and backstory that describes horror, but not really any of them end in a manner that hints at the horror and alien bizarreness of their origin. Tarantula Mistresses in particular are the exception - go into any Arachnos base and see a giant test-tube with the limbless torso of a Tarantula Mistress bobbing in it, and you have a taste of shivery horror right there.

Let me give you an example of a memorable end. In the 1980 movie 'Flash Gordon' the was a female villain clad totally in black who was killed during the movie's climactic action sequence. Timothy Dalton's character shoots her in the back and she collapses on a staircase, and then she proceeds to rapidly deliquesce in a putrid and horrifying black oilslick, leaving an empty set of clothes splayed on the stairs, almost as if she had been a water balloon filled with India Ink. She had seemed like a normal, however wicked woman, but now her ending hinted at an unimaginable origin. Was she ever human? Had she been originally and then altered by chemicals or radiation or surgery? Was she a creation of Ming's? Was she an alien being? A fascinating and disturbing mystery.

I believe we need more of that kind of imagery here to give our villains and heroes more definition, and give the game more profound and stirring connection with our own emotions.

Think about it - when a villain is defeated they shouldn't just slowly become invisible after laying on the ground for a while, but pass in a manner befitting their origin.

A CoT mage should cast off a dark spirit that gives a chilling wail before dissolving away. Or perhaps their robes would collapse to the ground, empty as Obi Wan Kenobi's.

Freakshow tanks should explode in identical manner to Tarantulas, but only after being beaten the second time. Just look at em - they look like something powered by tanks of propane to me.

Vahzilok zombies should slump into a horrid liquefying pile, leaving behind only a pool of toxic muck, a lopsided skeleton and a cloud of buzzing flies.

Cybernetic Crey agents should fall down sparking and twitching spasmodically (not the continuous shudder animation, but a random ,spaced out twitch), giving out occasional puffs of blue smoke from the cuffs of their business suits.

Magical origin mobs like Legacy Chain might exude a mystic glyph or symbol as they expire, showered in rays of light and accompanied by an angelic choir, the magnificence of which would be in proportion to their rank, while an evil counterpart might have their miserable souls dragged into a swirling crimson pit of perdition by a host of inhumanly proportioned clawed hands emerging from the ground.

Even a mob lacking extraordinary abilities or origins could have a memorable passing - A longbow agent carrying a flamethrower could be immolated when their fuel tank explodes.

A cryonics based attacker might freeze upon the destruction of their equipment and then shatter into small peices.

A teleporting Sky Raider could have a malfunction, and slapping frantically at his harness, could end up embedded partially in a wall.

A Jetpack equipped mob could lose control and go spiraling into a building or the ground, or might disappear in a fiery mid-air explosion.

This kind of thing only gives you the willies when it's a human based mob doing the expiring - Clockwork, Hydra, Mollusks, and pumpkin-heads don't count, although they are fairly memorable enemies on their own.

This post is for anyone who thinks they are too slow, clumsy, or old to get the Silver, much less the Gold badges on the timed Ski slope. I'm recently 40, and now find myself to have all the split-second reflexes and reaction time of a giant Galapagos tortoise. I'm just now noticing things that happened Thursday.

Well, I found getting the badges on my toons was nearly impossible when just charging out of the gate - I'd miss two gates almost every time because I couldn't reach them from the previous. I'd just swoosh right past 'em without getting close, no matter how much 'A' or 'D' I pushed. Then I tried using SB from a friendly Kinetic and Super Speed. Surely those two powers combined could get me through any gate zipzipzip. WROOOONG! It made me swing around on the slope wildly and slew from side to side like a sidewinder on crack. On ice.

Slowly I tried every combination of buffs and powers I had until I hit on the right way to do it every time.

First you need a [u]single[u] Control buff. It is the most important element to getting the 2-3 gates you seem to always have trouble with. The most effective buffs to use are Inertial Reduction (kinetics have these) Super Jump (travel power - duh) or Zero-G pack (temp travel power). Yes the Zero-G pack works too. You Don't need to actually jump at any time on the slope. The buff just gives you a feeling like you were cornering on rails. You don't need to use the Strafe buttons at all, just hold down 'W' and steer with the mouse.

Next you need a little bit of giddyup. A [u]single[u] Speed Boost from a Kinetic is a guaranteed gold combined with one of the control buffs I mentioned, however I got gold on a couple of my toons with just IR and sprint, probably because of the Stamina pool powers.

Do it this way and with a few practice runs to get the gates cemented in your short term memory, you can get all three badges on every toon you have - Just don't expect to break any course records. Leave that to the smart-mouthed little creep in his mom's basement, wired on Red Bull and candy. He needs those small triumphs. Desperately.

I leave it up to you to figure out how to go slow enough to get Silver and Bronze once you start getting Gold on your first run.

Emberly's avatar is all I can think about right now - It stirs up feelings of squeamishness and aesthetic dissonance that are truly novel. I don't think I've been this disturbed by an image since the first time I saw Tool's music videos on MTV.

Excuse me, I need to find some bleach for my brain. . .