Thnaks for the play-through and the very in depth reading you gave my arc! I'm pleased to see that you did take your time and thought about what you were seeing as that's 'the way' I meant for it to be played.
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Originally Posted by Coulomb2
The Robots had taken over part of Cap au Diable, near the WSPDR tower, and were planning on using it to transmit a sentient signal across the airwaves.
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Minor quibble: the Haunted Robots are already broadcasting Wizard Machine's signal, it's what animates them; they, the radio station and the various destructibles all make up the Wizard Machine. I'll look into making that more clear as it's an important point to the metaphor I constructed this mish around.
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Originally Posted by Coulomb2
The entire mission is written as though I am dreaming or seeing what Emily did walking in her footsteps...I believe the authors intent is to give the mission an almost surreal feel, and its pulled off well. Its unclear yet whether the intent is that Im just sitting there reading the diary and the missions are me imagining in my minds eye what shes describing, *or* if there is magic on this diary, and Im actually magically experiencing what Emily did.
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Mish 1 and 2 are supposed to be you reading what she did while actually 'walking in her footsteps' (afterall, the players need foes to whomp). I can see I may not have made that clear enough. On the other hand, having it a bit up in the air isn't at all a bad thing in my mind - the whole arc is intended to be a cryptic form of story-telling. I'll look into it though, maybe change it, maybe not.
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Originally Posted by Coulomb2
Note: It did seem odd that the descriptions of the haunted robots didnt quite seem to match their name (e.g. the Jaegers were called Myelin Sheath but their description referred to them as Brain Stems).
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My bad. I changed their name and forgot to check the bio. I'll fix that, thanks for catching it. Things like this tell me just how much attention you paid and I'm very glad to see it.
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Originally Posted by Coulomb2
you might want to consider using a boss that isnt a psychic assembler prince since they like to build actual clockwork (that have the normal clockwork description); if theres no psychic equivalent of a cannon or tesla prince (there might not be), just disregard.
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Never saw that in my play-testing! I'll look into that too.
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Originally Posted by Coulomb2
In any case, the debriefing gives the strong impression that Emily has a very nonstandard perception of reality, colored by her dreams, and Im seeing recognizable things filtered through her perceptions
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In many ways, yes.
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Originally Posted by Coulomb2
the Haunted Robots are actually the Clockwork and I suspect the references to sentient transmissions are actually the Clockwork Kings psychic signal. In short, Emily faced the Clockwork with the intent of getting something important from them. What exactly the brain machines were (or if they were really there when Emily was battling the Clockwork) or what they represent wasnt something I really got, but I am enjoying this rather unique approach to an arc.
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There is no ClockWork King involved with the Haunted Robots. This was me riffing on the metaphor I built the mission around, not working with canon stuff. Confusing, isn't it?
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Originally Posted by Coulomb2
Note: In the description of one of the repurposed DE mobs (I forget which) was a reference to Valerie Marshall (I think that was the last name). Was that supposed to be Valerie Gaul?
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Yep, another editing error on my part. I thought I still had a ref to that version of Valerie's name but for the life of me I couldn't find it - thanks for spotting it!
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Originally Posted by Coulomb2
Hmm
this part of the story seemed distinctly different from the first far more like Emily was just playing make-believe
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Reality
does get more murky the further you go into the arc...
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Originally Posted by Coulomb2
As I arrived at the Library (actually a large graveyard), Emilys writings let me know I was already reading the Book of No Return, so, by all rights, it didnt make sense that I would be here looking for it.
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...
very murky.
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Originally Posted by Coulomb2
Well, once I entered the Library, it was obvious there was no way this could be interpreted as Emilys view of me rooting out and defeating a Circle nest. The place was full of formless energy, acting in the role of Library Staff. Hmmm
was this an account of what it would be like to be in the Library of Souls?
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I have to admit I'd never heard of the CoT Library of Souls so I looked it up on paragonwiki. I can see the similarities, but that's obviously not what I had in mind since I'd never heard of it before, right? More riffing off the central metaphor the arc is written around.
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Originally Posted by Coulomb2
Note: Youre definitely keeping my interest, although Im really not very sure exactly whats going on.
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I love stories that do that.
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Originally Posted by Coulomb2
Note: All of the subjects show up in sorting order but this one
for me, even though it was code 300 to 399, it showed up between 500 and 599 and 600 and 699.
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Zamuel mentioned he didn't get them in order either and truth be told I wasn't concerned about that when I put this together. I don't think it really matters if they come in order or not. On my play-test runs I usually got them rather out of order, you seem to ave gotten lucky.
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Originally Posted by Coulomb2
Once again, this experience is a change from the previous I get the impression Ive seen myself do something
experience something
that never actually happened. Im reading about it in this diary, and it seems to be *happening* to me although, still, somehow, Im aware Im only reading it. As though Im in a waking dream.
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There's an off-hand reference to this in a mission-complete to Mish 2 I think. Or maybe it was in the complete for this one, I don't recall right now.
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Originally Posted by Coulomb2
I also get some insight into what the Book of No Return is really about. It would seem Emilys magical abilities (which included her imagination becoming reality) always pulled on her sanity, and she sought it to end. Or, rather, the part of her mind she felt she couldnt control needed to be locked away. In a sense, thats what her Book might be a way to magically lock away the parts of her psyche (and her ability) that she feels she cant control. Well see. So far my track record of understanding whats going on is less than stellar.
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No, I'd say you're doing pretty well! (And I like the above interpretation too.)
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Originally Posted by Coulomb2
Whats more, the Book of Perfection appeared to be a metaphor for the perfect life Emily thought she would have had if this abusive individual hadnt come into her life. Perhaps that meant that the Book of No Return symbolized the moment Emily had decided to take action, which, of course, would change her life forever she was starting down a path shed never return from.
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Very good interpretations!
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Originally Posted by Coulomb2
Guarding the doll was Valerie Gaul
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That was a bit of good luck with your run - VG is a Lt. in the enemy group I set for the map, it might have been any other critter there. I so wish we could set a boss encounter right next to a glowie, I'd totally set VG there, it's very fitting.
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Originally Posted by Coulomb2
Somehow, Emily escaped into her Book of No Return. While I dont quite get the reference to the Book of Scars (beyond her rather self-conscious loathing of the scar she got on her hand from the fish hook and possibly a serious injury involving an ice cream truck), Emily did seem to want to escape from the Book.
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She had a lot to want to escape from.
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Originally Posted by Coulomb2
As suggested, I certainly took it slow, read virtually everything I thought to read, and likely still missed little details.
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Again, I thank you for that careful playing. I think you're one of the best reviewers around right now.
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Originally Posted by Coulomb2
The story (and the method of telling it) is very unconventional, but it is well done: I certainly cant think of ways the story could be improved and the arc still have the same overall feel. But, to be honest, this way of presenting a story is not my forte, so my comments (or ability to suggest improvements) should be taken with a grain of salt anyway.
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For someone who's forte isn't this sort of story-telling, you did quite well I think.
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Originally Posted by Coulomb2
While the method of telling the story can certainly be very confusing at times, in general, the further I got into the arc, the clearer the story got for me. Granted, I *still* dont have a *clear* understanding of just what happened to Emily, but I do think just about anyone playing the arc will at least get the basic elements by the end, and thats good, given the complex way the story is presented.
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Then it worked for you the way I wanted it to. I wanted to make this arc creepy, cryptic and something of a mental puzzle for the player to piece together from the little details and overall tone I set. The finished picture they get will probably never be 100% complete (or exactly as it was to me, which is intended), but you'll see the broader brushstrokes of the character and her life.
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Originally Posted by Coulomb2
Another notable thing is the use of repurposed, re-colored mobs. The Devouring Earth really stood out I almost wish they had that color scheme in the real game.
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I'm surprised that this is the second time I've heard that about The Earth Devouring The Earth. I don't see what I did with them as being all that... well, good, but I'm glad it seems to be working for people.
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Originally Posted by Coulomb2
One thing I did notice is that the way the story, um, clarified by the end seemed to make the first parts actually make less sense. At the moment, Im most confused about what was really going on in the first two missions (especially the first one). My current interpretation is that Im watching what Emily did to construct the Book in the first two missions, and I *think* the second mission is actually depicting events from before the first (although, to be honest, it was the second mission where I had the hardest time seeing the point ostensibly, Im watching Emily find the second component of her Book, but the mission actually seems more like an introduction to the first part of Emilys life story). Im guessing whatever she needed from the farm she got a long time ago, but fled to Cap after she burned down the barn (to escape the police), and finished creating the Book there. The third mission actually seems to be me delving into the Book to find out Emilys true story and learning that Emily herself is actually hidden in the parts of the Book that were torn out. And the final mission is trying to find Emily herself. But it might also be that she really did get something from the Devouring Earth after getting whatever she needed from the Clockwork, and was just insane by that point, and saw the Devouring Earth as synonymous with creatures she imagined in her early childhood. But, clearly, Im confused as to what exactly is going on.
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I really like your interpretation there. And don't worry about the confusion.
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Originally Posted by Coulomb2
And that brings me to the main thing that I *wished* the arc had: a kind of compromise between the player having to piece together the story from clues scattered throughout missions that arent necessarily presented in chronological order (which, is *not* a bad thing, by the way), and simply rewarding the player with the story if they get through the arc. Specifically, Im wishing the souvenir had a more explicit version of Emilys story so that if the player couldnt necessarily put everything together (as I couldnt), youd still get rewarded with what really happened at the very end. Almost like a chance to compare notes (I was hoping the souvie would have the real story so I could see how close my interpretation was to it).
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I can appreciate what you say, but it's not what I wanted this arc to be or end up as. "Broad brushstrokes", as I said above. If I had to compare the arc to a painting for instance, this is intended to be more of an impressionistic work rather than one of photographic realism. It also shares some similarities with a dream - beholden to its own logic that sometimes is just flat out confusing to consider once you wake up.
On top of that, I'm discovering the joys of creating something that is open to some interpretation - I get to hear other people's ideas about it! I didn't just randomly throw stuff into this arc to "let you guys figure out what it means, if anything." That's a common accusation of works like this, not that you made it - you approached it with an open mind and found patterns in it, some I intended and others I might not have, but still valid readings. Everything I put in does mean something and points to something I knew about the story and Emily Yikes, but spilling the beans would lessen the experience
you have with it, the way
you interact with the ideas and themes.
I think that's way more fun than just another punch-up.