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Bubbawheat

Ms. Exalted 2011

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  1. Bubbawheat
    [ QUOTE ]
    Arc Name: Web of Deception
    Arc ID: 75310
    Faction: Villainous
    Level: 40+
    Synopsis: Aid President Evil in creating a gateway to an alternate dimension.

    It's not kicking kitties Evil, but it's more evil then it sounds.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Played as a lvl 40 fire/fire Brute at level 40 on Relentless, challenge level 4. Solo on the first two missions, then picked up a few teammates for the rest. The contact is President Evil, I'm not sure what he's a president of, but I'm guessing it's evil. For the first three missions, I'm the President's errand boy as I go looking for materials to create a portal to a mirror universe. I fight some Circle of Thorns Nemesis, and PPD Cops that keep showing up trying to arrest me, though I'm not exactly sure why they're after me and not the other villains whose lair I'm in. I'm also never sure why I'm helping President Evil, as it seems I have no connection with him or promise of reward or power at all. For the last spare part, I'm also going to be confronting Officer Showtime (might be remembering the officer title wrong, but he is working with the PPD) and he suggests having some allies. I don't remember if he was an Arch-Villain or an Elite Boss specifically, but he wasn't too hard for our team to take down. In the debriefing he lets it "slip" that Showtime is his son, and in the next mission's opening, he says "By now you realize that Showtime is my son." Yeah, I realized it when you just told me two seconds ago.

    For the final mission, I'm being sent to Mirror Earth where Arachnos are the good guys and are called the Freedom Spiders. I'm vaguely warned that I might run into someone that used to be a friend. This friend turns out to be Celestial Widow, who was definately an Arch-Villain, but seemed extremely easy for our small group (4 members). In fact, the boss level Mu Guardian just above her was much more challenging, though I think I might have also left my support below which would definately contribute. I also didn't catch Sinister Showtime, who I'm guessing was a hostage, two other teammates also missed him, but one member said they saw him there.

    Overall, this arc was fun to play through, though the story could definately use some work. I think you have a good outline, but you need to remember the player. One of the biggest complaints about normal villain content is that it feels like you are just a cog in their machine, and this arc falls into that same pitfall, among the worst offenders even.
  2. Bubbawheat

    The Reviewer List

    POST-ACTION

    Arranged in alphabetical order for fairness and ease of use:
    <ul type="square">[*]Altoholic_Monkey -- Indies (1 mission) | Sequels (2-3 missions) | Epics (4-5 missions)[*]Bayani[*]Beach_Lifeguard[*]Bubbawheat | (In Character) [*]Burning_Brawler (QPQ)[*]DeviousMe (QPQ)[*]Dominemisis (QPQ)[*]Dragonslay[*]Frozen_Northman (QPQ)[*]HolyEvilAoD[*]Lazarus (QPQ)[*]LaserJesus[*]Misho (QPQ) | Non QPQ[*]Peacemoon (QPQ)[*]Policewoman (QPQ)[*]Rapulis[*]ridiculous_girl (QPQ)[*]SteelSky[*]Sooner (QPQ)[*]Stomphoof (QPQ)[*]Talen_Lee[*]theHedoren (QPQ)[*]Venture[/list]
    EU reviewers
    <ul type="square">[*]Col.Blitzkrieger[*]Leese[*]Master_Zaprobo (In character)[/list]
    Review sites
    <ul type="square">[*]City of Guides - Mission Architect[*]CoH Mission Review[*]Mission Architect Advanced Search Site[/list]
    Note: QPQ = quid pro quo: Play and rate/give feedback to the reviewer first in order to get a review on your arc, some are more lenient on this than others. Also, tends to have a shorter queue.

    Also, some non-QPQ have more than one reviewer with some not accepting new submissions, check the most recent page for up-to-date information.
  3. Bubbawheat
    I've got a review thread in the other forum section and I've expanded it a little bit to be somewhat of a picture story, featuring my new hero: Time Shifter.

    I'm posting here because I'm looking for a little inspiration for a second costume. I know it's still early in his career, but never to early to start thinking about more costumes. His mini-bio is basically that he is an artifact created to steal time from those around him in order to speed up his evolutionary process. He started out as just a small spherical object and has grown to a full fledged super. Here's a regular shot of him. I tried to make him as rounded as possible with what I have available, but I'd like a little more flavor thrown in there. Thanks!
  4. Bubbawheat
    [ QUOTE ]
    Thanks for playing "Too Many Bunnygirls!" and the feedback!

    To address a couple of things you mentioned, the comment Rabbitual Criminal makes about having fought you before was part of "the joke" in his name, see? (I'm sure that strikes you as about as funny as a can of beans on a bus with a flat right now, any joke that needs explanation goes nowhere.)


    [/ QUOTE ]

    Yeah, it's the difference between "Rabbitual" meaning having commited many crimes before, and meaning having been dealt with by the player many times before. Another possible choice would be to have him say something like "You've probably taken me down before? No? You're sure? I've been captured by tons of heroes."

    [ QUOTE ]

    And you played this on difficulty setting four?! When I'm feeling brave, I walk into the MA on 3 at most, and that's not very often, I usually stick with just 2. But I'm usually running my stalker or Corr - both squishie-class toons, not tanks. When i15 comes out I do intend to tweak some, so I'll revisit the boss' power sets.


    [/ QUOTE ]

    3 and 4 are mostly the same, 4 just gives you more enemies. And I do tend to forget that when I complain about MA boss difficulty ;^_^ All of my previous reviews using the fire/fire brute have been on difficulty 4. My 50 MA/SR arcs are always on 3.

    [ QUOTE ]

    ...
    (edited to ask a question Did the boss Watership Doom spawn bots? I gave her bots and the last couple of times I tested the arc she wasn't calling them in, just using her secondary - very annoying.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Yep, I remember seeing bots. Though if you charge in quickly summons tend to get overlooked for other attacks from what I've heard.
  5. Bubbawheat
    Arc Name: Future Skulls
    Arc Id: 4727
    Author: @Justice Blues
    Morality: Heroic
    Level Range 1-15: Skulls, custom
    Played at: Level 5-6

    So Mirror Spirit tells me of a vision of the future she had where everything was destroyed. The Skulls are preparing to do some sort of ritual that will cause this future very soon, but she doesn't know much more about it then that. So my job today is to go to one of the Skull's hideouts and crush the information out the them.



    I find this hideout of theirs, and I overhear some of them talking about the ceremony succeeding this time. I guess that means that this is the right place. There's a lot of books in one of the rooms, most of them are strange, but unimportant. I read through some of them and find one that has things I could care less about, but I predict that Mirror Spirit will be interested in. I'm about ready to leave, when I hear Bonesnap mention that they are almost ready to complete the ritual. Well, I don't know what this ritual is all about, so I knock him around a bit for his arrogance.

    I return the book to Mirror Spirit, which she tells me is very disturbing to her. Apparently the Skulls are trying to form a new ritual by mixing Circle of Thorns, Banished Pantheon, and Coralax magics in order to reawaken the Coralax's god Merulina. Unfortunately, Mirror Spirit and her cohorts know practically nothing about the Coralax, so this time it's up to me to scout around one of their lairs for some information. Unfortunately, all I find is a bunch of empty urns, and for some reason I decide to bring back one that broke because I looked at it too hard. Maybe it was a software glitch with my gravity powers.

    I bring it back to Mirror Spirit and she is still troubled, though she has an idea. She decides to get the help of the Midnighters to send me into the future she saw in her vision. A future of a destroyed Paragon City, using those Midnighter Crystals. All this magic nonsense is starting to get to me. Anyway, she sends me to the future to gather more information. When I get there, my compass computer is telling me that I need to "Find the boss and beat the answers out of him." And my objective is "The Bride." I wasn't told who or what this boss or bride is, so I suppose it's just a matter of finding what I need to find in this destroyed city. I find some upgraded Skulls with larger skull masks and spikes on their shoulders, I also find the Bride. While I'm fighting her, she is going on about how she wants to destroy me, and she wants my soul or some such nonsense. But the moment she's lying face down on the ground she can't wait to give me a magical dagger and tell me exactly when this ritual from their past and my future is supposed to take place. And that I'm supposed to use this dagger to stop the ritual. Humans confuse me so greatly sometimes.



    Bringing the dagger and information back to Mirror Spirit, she and some other mystics leave me in the waiting room for hours while they try and magically scry the location of this ritual. I tried to tell her that I could probably calculate the location myself given just a little more information, but she insisted that magical means were proper in this instance. She finally comes back and tells me the location of the ritual and mentions that it was fate and that I am the only one that can stop this ritual. But we only have one hour before the ritual is completed. I tried to tell her that if I had figured out where to go, I would have still had plenty of time to complete the task, but she just mumbles something about fate being fickle and hurries me on my way.

    I get to the large field and search for two mystics that have been used for their magical energy. The first one I find says "Thanks to you, I have been drained. So I cannot come with you." That doesn't sound very much like a thank you for being rescued to me. I should have just left him there. I'm sure he wasn't critical to the success of this mission. Though he was quite visible in this large, open area. Bonesnap once again shows up, and after fourteen minutes and thirty five seconds of searching the area I finally find him. He looks much different than he did the first time I saw him. But he is soon defeated once again.



    I finally come back to Mirror Spirit to reserved congratulations and a future warning. She says that if I had not stopped this ritual now, it would have only been fourty-eight hours before the ruined future she saw would have come to pass. Though I am curious about the dagger that I was given earlier. I was told I needed to use it to stop the ritual, but I merely used my normal tactics to stop Bonesnap, and the dagger was never mentioned again. And who was the Bride and what part did she really have in all of this? Regardless, I enjoyed my second short trip through time, even if it was only a brief venture into a possible future.

    Four Stars: Recommended!
  6. Bubbawheat
    [ QUOTE ]
    I have two up so far, both listed in my sig. The first one is the stronger of the two but you are of course welcome to play them both. I've recently rejiggered the second one a tad and run them both through a spell checker, although I might still have the occasional typo. Both are currently sitting at 4 stars, so they shouldn't be too awful for you to take a look at - and a big thanks! if you do!

    [/ QUOTE ]

    went with 101165: Too many Bunnygirls! on my lvl 40 fire/fire Brute solo, on ruthless: challenge level 4. The contact is interesting as a filing cabinet full of files which you are going through yourself, so that makes it kind of a do-it-yourself style arc. The bunnygirls were nice designs, though I personally dislike fighting forcefields. There was only 1 type of minion, and 1 type of lieutenant (and possibly 1 boss which I never saw solo)? I would recommend adding at least one more different minion, and if you happen to have room, 3 minions and 2 lieutenants would be great. The storyline was pretty interesting, you start by freeing a bunch of hostages from the bunnygirls, most of which didn't want to be rescued. Then you check a warehouse for shipping records of a "bunnygirl ray" and to destroy the original prototype. Finally, you go to the Ripsy-X headquarters, which is the Rogue Island/Paragon City X-...something which I've forgotten now, a gossip rag, National Inquirer type paper, though the nickname reminds me of Ripsy from the first bad-girl's club. There you fight a bunch of overpowered photographers and writers of the gossip rag. Three of the bosses in this entire arc sent me to the hospital once. Rabbitual Criminal, Maggie von BunnyGirl, and Mios Agonyheart ;^_^), The photographer was also rather annoying with the confuse, but I barely eked through without dying... Don't even think I Rise of the Phoenix'ed on that fight either.

    One other thing I noticed, which was purely coincidental, was some of the dialog seemed to cater to my character. "Guess I should have dodged when you burned." and " Burnt Matchstick in Bouncing Bunny Bacchanal" Also, Rabbitual Criminal makes a point to mention that we've met before, though we didn't meet earlier in the arc, and I've never fought him as a player before. It really doesn't contribute to the story that we had met before, and it threw me off at least. Maybe you should change it so that he has a known reputation, not that you've personally defeated him before.

    Overall, this was a pretty entertaining arc. Good storyline, good designs, Boss difficulty could use some slight tweaking, maybe after i15 comes out, but I enjoyed it.
  7. Bubbawheat
    [ QUOTE ]
    The Thief!

    183264

    Someone has stolen some odd substance from a warehouse, and its owner needs you to recover it. Take it back, and put a stop to whatever is going on! Small, but tough mission, cute little story. Bring inspirations! [SMFA FHMA]

    1 mission, very small map.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Played as a lvl 40 Fire/Fire Brute automalefactored to 25, solo. This was an interesting little mission. The contact is a self-insertion with... a few... to many... ellipses... as her style of speaking. I think it could be cleaned up a bit. She mentions that she's an archmage, and clarifies her definition of archmage extensively. She tells you that someone has stolen her substance from the shivan meteor.

    Entering the mission the first thing I notice is a massive nav bar with all sorts of objectives cluttered together, and the dreaded one at the end: Defeat all enemies. One thing to point out, if you have that many objectives on a small map, you will practically defeat all the enemies anyway, so having a defeat all in addition to that is redundant. Or have some of the objectives "optional" since defeating all will defeat them anyway. The map is full of shivans, which were cake for my brute, and the boss was a robotics mastermind which I thought might be tough for me as she was on a raised platform that I had a little trouble maneuvering to, but I got her just as easily, and took out both ambushes together afterwards. The doctor's motivations for stealing the shivans and the nukes (destructable objects), were because Pluto got downgraded from a planet. She doesn't say what her plan is, so I assume it's something like: 1. steal shivans and nukes 2. ??? 3. Profit! Or, have Pluto become a planet again.

    Overall, I enjoyed it for what it was, a simple little mission. With the warning, I expected it to be more difficult, but maybe I just picked the right powersets.
  8. Bubbawheat
    I have Burnt Matchsticks in varying degrees of complexity. Though most are fairly simple. Feel free to use one.
  9. Bubbawheat
    Thank you for the detailed review, it really helps give me direction to clean it up some more. I'll definately be taking another story/mechanics run, at the very least when i15 goes live and probably some before (or even possibly on test).

    What I was trying to go for (and when I say trying, I apparently haven't fully succeeded yet), is that Time Shifter is what is behind the time loop, he is more or less like a time vampire of sorts, stealing time from everything around him to increase the rate of his own evolution. A bit of a mystery with the reveal on the last mission which I've already decided needs more clarity.


    [ QUOTE ]
    Time Loop (by @Bubbawheat) (arc id 137561)

    Premise is that you're stuck in a time loop and can't escape. Stated level is 15-30 with neutral morality. I played a 17 SS/will brute on Malicious difficulty.

    Mission 1
    Briefing: Not really clear why the first sentence is in green text, it doesn't seem to be a key phrase.

    Foreshadow seems to want me to steal something from Wyvern for their own good? Seems odd. He also says "Wyvern is not taking my warning seriously", but does not explain what his "warning" actually is; I think this maybe should be made more clear. (I already anticipate that I'm going to run smack into whatever he warned Wyvern about. Foreshadowing, so to speak.)

    "aquire" should be "acquire" in the briefing.

    Foreshadow says "retrieve the anomaly" and "get what you need", but is very vague about what I'm actually getting for him. Some more info would be nice. How am I supposed to recognize it? (I mean, aside from it being a glowy.)


    [/ QUOTE ]

    The idea is that Foreshadow doesn't know exactly what it is either, just that it's something that came from the evil scientist's lab. Which I left nameless because it's not really important to the story.

    [ QUOTE ]

    The mission title, "Investigate the disturbance" and objective of "Find the disturbance" doesn't seem to match what Foreshadow asked me to do. Maybe need to reconcile those; either have Foreshadow ask me to "investigate" or change the mission goal to "Retrieve" (or "Steal") the anomaly.

    As a villain I have no problem breaking into the Wyvern base and stealing stuff; kinda think heroes might have issues with this though, as Wyvern is a heroic group. Maybe this is okay for a neutral arc, but you might consider using a more shades-of-grey faction as enemies.


    [/ QUOTE ]

    I chose Wyvern mostly because they are underused, especially heroside. I think of it as a "shades of grey" arc for a hero.

    [ QUOTE ]

    Found a Computer and clicked on it and it seemingly did nothing; did find a message in my chat tabs for it though. You might consider adding a progress bar and a slight delay; maybe you intentionally set it to 0, but its absence made me wonder if it was broken.


    [/ QUOTE ]

    I intentionally went with 0 with the intent of just barely giving any thought the first time around, but having it be visible as it comes into play in later missions.

    [ QUOTE ]

    Found Agent Marx and fought him. He has dialog strongly suggesting it would be a bad idea to take the item from him; it seems necessary for the plot for me to do so, though, so I beat him up, causing him to accidentally trigger the device everyone thinks is dangerous.

    All the info up to this point makes it sound like a really bad idea to do this. The plot seems to depend on the player doing it anyway, in order to set up the "time loop". I don't think it's good to force the player into doing something that the story clearly shows is a bad idea; I suggest you consider reworking the plot so that it doesn't require the player to do something dumb in order for the story to work. Perhaps Marx or Wyvern scientists could have already tried playing with the device before you got there (which would fit with Foreshadow's warning that Wyvern didn't know what they were doing), instead of having the player herself trigger the paradox.


    [/ QUOTE ]

    Lazarus called it "good job at breaking it." Maybe I'll go with the fact that the artifact had recently been triggered and Marx is already starting to feel something strange happening.

    [ QUOTE ]

    Marx's artifact clue: should this really be called Marx's artifact? Though I got it from him, it's clear that he wasn't the original owner, since they confiscated it from an unnamed evil scientist. You might give this evil scientist a name and call it his artifact. Also, the description of the artifact is very dry ("small round metal sphere with one button that has been pushed"), making it a little too obviously a plot device; you might consider making its description a bit more mysterious and enigmatic.

    Foreshadow's briefing says there is both research and lab equipment being kept at the base, but I didn't see anything like that; just an empty computer glowy and then I got the "device" by beating the boss.

    Debriefing: OK, I see now why the first sentence of the original briefing was colored green, as it is repeated here. But the rest of the debriefing is empty; should really put some text here. Maybe repeating what he said before, with some deviations because the player protests that she's already been doing this.


    [/ QUOTE ]

    Good suggestion. Have the original briefing as the debriefings, which allows for more new text in each iteration. I like that idea.

    [ QUOTE ]

    Mission 2
    Briefing: exactly the same as the first briefing. Which maybe makes sense for a time loop.

    Second part of briefing: OK, glad that I was able to tell Foreshadow I've already done it, so as to change his dialog, but now he asks for the artifact and acts like I don't have it. But I clearly have "Marx's artifact" my clue journal and have no new clue or other text telling me that it vanished. I can perhaps infer that it has vanished from Foreshadow's dialog, but I feel this isn't made clear enough.


    [/ QUOTE ]

    Yeah, the artifact is gone. I had originally thought Foreshadow's dialog was enough to infer the artifact is now gone.

    [ QUOTE ]

    Mission popup: it reminds me that there was a computer and an Agent Marx, which is good. But why would I think the computer or Agent Marx know anything more? I already checked both of them in the last iteration of this time loop.


    [/ QUOTE ]

    You didn't really "check" the computer, you just glanced at it.

    [ QUOTE ]

    "Investigate the disturbance" still not an accurate description for this mission. I suggest something like "Figure out what's going on" or similar.

    Computer: this time there's a progress bar. Looking in my chat log, I see that I found an "encrypted folder". This seems strange; this folder wasn't there the last mission, and if this is really a time loop, where did it come from? I also suggest you add a Clue for "Encrypted File" or similar, because if this arc is played on a team, only the person who clicked the computer would see the message you currently display, and that message isn't very visible to begin with.

    Marx's dialog is subtly different between mission 1 and mission 2. (In this mission he mentions getting a promotion and Steve not getting one.) The differences between the two missions makes me think this isn't a "true" time loop; unless there is some cause for these differences that is not yet apparent.

    Marx remembers fighting me before! Now, why would he remember that? Is the artifact putting *everyone* in a time loop, not just me?


    [/ QUOTE ]

    Yes.

    [ QUOTE ]

    The new "Marx's Artifact" clue is capitalized and punctuated differently than the previous "Marx's artifact." clue. Not sure if that is intentional or not.

    After defeating Marx and getting the code from him, it triggered a new objective of "enter the code into the computer". This is awkwardly handled because it actually spawns a NEW computer, different than the one I checked before, so it's in a different location. I actually think it would be sufficient to have the Encrypted File from the first computer and Marx's cipher key to be able to get the data; not sure the additional computer is necessary. I think the current structure would be especially puzzling to the player if, for example, I stealthed to kill Marx first, then came back to click on the first computer (having already gained the cipher key) and had the computer tell me I need a key.

    The new computer is guarded by Wyvern with interesting dialog; they ALSO remember previous iterations of the time loop, so definitely this time loop doesn't work the way I would've expected. Also, the new computer is named "Wyvern Computer- right click to access information", but the mission ended as soon as I defeated all the guards.

    There is some data you can get by pulling up the "info" on the computer; this is a nonstandard method for giving the player data, so some players will almost certainly miss it, especially because people tend to punch "exit" as soon as they get Mission Complete. I recommend you put this information in "clue" format instead, then award it on completing the objective, or on completing the mission.


    [/ QUOTE ]

    The two computers will definately change with i15. I wanted to have the player check the computer - which is right up front, but need to get the code from Marx, then respawn the computer as close as possible to where it was after getting the code. With spawnable collections and visible spawn points, this will be much more doable. As it is now, spawnable objects are either destructable or defendable. I chose defendable since destroying the computer made less sense. Defendables have no clues so I had to put the information in the info box. I added "Right click to access information" to clue the player into the info box. As far as stealthing and doing them in the wrong order, I *could* chain them together, but personally I wanted to have things spawn exactly as before, or as close as possible within MA limitations. The computer is obviously required, and every time I've played it, it's in a very visible location in the front. I felt the number of people who would do the objectives in the wrong order would be very few.

    [ QUOTE ]

    In the second computer's info, it says it's the same computer I checked earlier (despite being in a different location) and it says there are two major artifacts in the base. It looks like I am forced to start a new mission to get them. But I'm already in the Wyvern base, why couldn't I get the two major artifacts now? Seems a logic problem.


    [/ QUOTE ]

    As soon as collections are spawnable, I might have them spawn after defeating Marx, you and the new MA tools coming in i15 are giving me lots of good ideas for improvements.

    [ QUOTE ]

    Debriefing: again too short, but follows the pattern set so far.

    Mission 3
    Briefing: repeats previous information; makes sense story-wise but not that interesting as a result. Second part of briefing is better since you interrupt Foreshadow with new info and change his dialog.

    Inside the mission: why are there 15 possible artifacts to search now? Why weren't these in previous runs through the time loop? The logic of how this time loop works is very confusing.


    [/ QUOTE ]

    Basically, in the third mission Time Shifter realizes you are looking for the second artifact so he changes the building with wild goose chases, and in the final mission, the building is larger to make it harder to get to him.

    [ QUOTE ]

    Found a computer and clicked it; for some reason I "rip it up" which is a description I'd usually reserve for tearing up paper or something similar.


    [/ QUOTE ]

    should be more like "rip it up off the wall in frustration."

    [ QUOTE ]

    The 15 artifacts all have a little text in a clue; I like that they're all different, but I would suggest you make them seem a little more cool, even if they are not necessary for the plot. "A garbage can" and "you don't know what this is" is info but kinda boring. I like the Harry Potter book clue though.


    [/ QUOTE ]

    The idea to add references to other time loop stories came later, and I added more instead of changing the old ones. Will make the old ones more interesting. If you missed some, you find: A box of cassettes featuring Sonny and Cher (of Groundhog Day fame) and Asia (from a Supernatural episode), Talkie Toaster (from Red Dwarf), pieces of the USS Bozeman (from a Star Trek episode), a note saying "Merry Christmas" to Clark (from a Lois and Clark episode), a box with a mummy hand (from a Buffy episode), and an instructional book about time warps that beings with "It's just a jump to the left" (from Rocky Horror Picture Show. Like Harry Potter, it's not a time loop, but I enjoy the reference, though now that I think about it, Prisoner of Azkaban has a time loop element to it...).

    [ QUOTE ]

    -- a thermal corruptor wanted to join me at this point; being on a team, I end up needing to move faster, so may be less detailed from here on --

    Mission ended abruptly after defeating Marx; what happened to finding the second artifact? It's not clear why I can't just find the other artifact now instead of having to exit the mission.

    Mission 4
    Briefing seems unnecessary now...at least the story seems to recognize this and cuts it short.

    "Investigate the disturbance" still seems a bad title. Maybe "Break the Cycle", or "Escape Time Loop".

    Inside the mission, I find it isn't the same warehouse! The mission entry popup alludes to this. I'm even more confused by this time loop.

    I initially thought the mission objective of "Find artifact from second Wing Talon Agent" should more properly be "Find artifact from Agent Steve", but the way Steve shows up and his description and dialog were actually quite funny just as they were.

    I started looking for Marx to get the other artifact, when I suddenly ran into Time Shifter, a boss surrounded by weird critters (mix of ghosts, shivans and hydra). Aha, this guy must be behind everything that happened! But after defeating him, I find that he's actually the weird artifact that Marx had, only transformed into an actual enemy. This was pretty weird but is a neat idea; although there's some ground work laid for this (in that the artifact is described as slightly larger each time), I think some extra foreshadowing of this would be helpful to set up this big reveal.

    Debriefing was a little anticlimactic; Foreshadow seems mildly pleased that I solved the temporal disturbance problem. For the sake of closure, I think it would've been nice to know a little bit more about Time Shifter and its origins, and what ended up happening to Marx and Steve after the story ends.

    Decently written souvenir. "A molten lump of metal" is kind of an uninspiring name for a souvenir, though; maybe "Agent Steve's Wyvern ID Card"? Though that's not quite as central a story element.

    Overall
    Neat story overall, with some good writing. However, I felt there were some logic issues with how the time loop worked; the fact that the Wyvern base changes each mission, and stuff appears that wasn't there before, was rather disconcerting. The plot seemed to force the player into certain key actions (beating up Marx and starting the Time Loop in the first place; learning Steve has the second artifact in mission 3, but being unable to look for Steve even though he's presumably somewhere in the base, until mission 4).

    In a true time loop I would expect everything to be exactly the same each time, except for changes that the dis-entimed person makes. I thought that it was particularly weird that the contents of the computer changed from one loop to the next, and one loop had 15 artifacts and others had none. I can see that for your plot, you NEED stuff to change each time, but I feel like the story would benefit if you better describe why/how this is happening.

    I also felt that the contact, Foreshadow, was very underused - he basically gives the same canned speech every time, and while I understand why the time loop forces him to do it, you really don't get very much out of the briefings/debriefings as a result. The bits where you interrupt him and he changes his speech are the most interesting parts of the briefings. At the end of the arc, it would be nice if he helped provide more explanation to neatly tie things up; as it currently stands, a lot of weird stuff happens and while it is neat, it's not at all clear why it's happening.

    Anyway, some of these plot issues left me confused at times, but I enjoyed it overall. I gave it 4 stars.


    [/ QUOTE ]

    Thanks again for all the detailed suggestions, I will take all of them into consideration for my next pass.
  10. Bubbawheat
    [ QUOTE ]
    Patch Day: 50318
    1 mission

    It's Patch Day, and the servers are not Working As Intended! Not a defeat-all, but try to squash at least a *few* Bugs on the way to rescuing the hapless QA Troubleshooter, finding the Combat Log, and most of all stopping the Rollback!

    Note: anything you might happen to see outside those parameters isn't required for mish complete ,-).

    I'll be doing Digital Transition as well as your arcs, Bubba, it sounds interesting.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    This was a really fun mission. Played as a lvl 40 fire/fire Brute solo. There was great dialog all around, especially the patrols (or was it a battle?) with dialog every time I went up a floor that had a very funny back and forth. The descriptions on tpyo and some of the others were great, even at only one line mostly. The character designs were interesting and the power choices were pretty well balanced, although Mrrrow put a pretty mean hurt on me everytime I saw one. Rollback was also pretty difficult, but doable. There's a lot of good jokes here, although with the mood of the forums right now, I wasn't quite sure if you were going for satire or just parody. There is definately the opportunity for some biting satire if done right, though it wasn't clear which side you were for or against in that case. As just a parody it works, but you should keep in mind that some of the stuff in here could be taken a little too seriously by some people. I, however, am none of those people and I enjoyed it. Also, the allies were also a bit overpowered, taking out many of the minions before I could. It's a hard decision sometimes to have the overpowered allies to help take out the overpowered AV (even spawned as an EB), though in my opinion, it works just as well to have hostages and an average powered EB or Boss instead. Especially in a humor mission.
  11. Bubbawheat
    Sorry it wasn't your thing, but thanks for reviewing it.

    I'll admit, I picked Foreshadow because of the name and the look, didn't bother searching for info on him, most people don't notice. He is one of the lesser known heroes. Maybe if he got better press.

    For whatever reason he doesn't believe you when you say you already have it and sends you off to get it again.

    Good point, no one mentioned that before. You don't have the artifact because you've gone back in time. I'll add a note in the entry pop-up.

    This time you get a decryption code from Marx and have to take it back to the computer, which is now guarded. Also, somewhere along the way I picked up an ambush, making this "interesting", but I survived.

    To re-spawn the computer it had to be destructible, which doesn't make too much sense, or defendable, which also doesn't make sense, but it keeps the computer around, that's where the ambush comes from. I've been meaning to see if it works right without guards.

    I suppose the ending is something that could use some work. Thanks again for the review.
  12. Bubbawheat
    Arc Name: A Tangle in Time
    Arc Id: 2622
    Author: @jjac
    Morality: Heroic
    Level Range 5-54: CoT, Paragon Police
    Played at: Level 3-5
    **Time Loop arc #1**

    Apparently Azuria has found a powerful artifact that is a gateway to the time-stream itself. Could be worth looking into. She hands me an amulet to neutralize the artifact and mentions that there are some PPD squads already there with a couple officers investigating. This should be easy.

    So I get in, check the cave out. Officer Riley seems to have his situation under control, but I'm fresh and ready to test out my new hardware so I take out the thorns for him. Then I find the artifact, a perfect pattern on an altar. Bah! Too much magic for my tastes, so I take Azuria's amulet and tangle up the pattern with it, whatever. Mumbo jumbo if you ask me. Hansen's got some more perps for me to crush with my gravity manipulating software while he works out.

    Last on the chopping block is a boss calling himself Mobiosea. Some grand mage giving me warnings and threats, but he drops just like a metric ton of semiconductors. Those threats didn't do him any good. Time to head back and tell Azuria the good news.

    There's a problem, Azuria greets me as if she has never met me before. Unintelligible magic! It's trapped me in a time loop. Me!? She hands me another amulet and I'm back in for round two. As expected, Riley and Hansen are clueless, and seeing me for the first time as well. Mobiosea must be behind this, and he's expecting me. Apparently he has a problem with the PPD raiding his core, and I happen to be infinitely available to him now. Well played.

    Reset! Repetition number three, change of plans: This time it's up to me to clear out the PPD instead of the thorns. Doesn't matter too much to me, honestly. Mobiosea's got himself stuck this time around and feels the need to tag along with me. Not much for microscopic communication, but I'm glad. I'd rather not hear about spells this and enchantments that.

    Free of the time loop, and much quicker than anticipated. Unfortunately without the reset, the cops aren't very pleased with the abrupt hospital teleports and a free Mobiosea. Predicting this situation, I present Azuria with the three amulets I have kept safe in my compartment and her small mind grasps the situation finally. She knows where Mobiosea has gone to, and while revenge means nothing to me, I'm not very pleased with others altering the time stream as they see fit. Not hiding in the caves, he's back in his Circle Lair. He seems to have some broken pets lying around, this is why he shouldn't play with time. Still enjoy crushing Mobiosea like the bug he is.

    Reset! Repetition number four, final plans: Destroy the altar, despite protests from clueless Azuria. Apparently Mobiosea has acquired a couple new pets who look much worse for wear, and changed from before though I'm not entirely sure why. The altar is destroyed with ease. And the final encounter with Mobiosea who doesn't last long against my gravitational force. All is once again right with the world, and another wannabe time-lord is put to rest.

    Five Stars: Highly Recommended!
  13. Bubbawheat
    I've been trying to come up with a new spin on reviews, my short arcs QPQ reviews thread has been dying off, my weekly reviews hasn't had much interest yet, and I recently made a new character inspired by my time loop arc who plans on playing through only arcs with some time-travelling element to them. I will be writing semi-reviews in-character here. It won't be so much of a critique, as a short synopsis of the plot, how my character reacts and comments. The voice of the character may change a bit as he gets more fleshed out.

    If you have an arc you'd like me to play, *please* keep in mind Time Shifter's level as I will not jump level ranges more than 5 or so levels. I also tend to play solo, so warn of any difficult bosses so I can try to form a team for it. He is currently a level 5 Grav/Kin controller, but I'm not worried about morality. He's in the arc as a villain, but I liked this combination of powers better to play. He will probably go rogue if he's still in my interest when that's available.

    I prefer PMs for arc submissions, and I will also be searching on my own for arcs. Again, keep in mind my level range, I'm currently only looking for low level arcs.
  14. Bubbawheat
    Really great pieces this month, a real change of pace from some of the last months. And all finished pieces too!

    My vote is for Projectionist, I really love that painting, and you did a wonderful reimagining of it, true to the original and true to City of Heroes. And it is now my desktop background.

    And if it counts, my wife (who always helps me decide, but shares my account) votes for Lousy Day, which was my second choice as well. I guess it really doesn't matter if it counts or not since Lousy has immunity, but what have you.
  15. Bubbawheat
    9 missions up, still room for a short arc 1-3 missions this week. I hope to have reviews done before Fri.
  16. Bubbawheat
    Changed theme due to sudden inspiration. e.g. Creating a player character of my custom MA boss, who will mostly play time travel themed arcs. Player or canon.
  17. Bubbawheat
    Or, have it be automatic like it is in the AE
  18. Bubbawheat
    Honestly, I've found it pretty hard to find teams to run story focused AE missions. Broadcasting rarely works. Period.

    First, figure out which mission you want to run, see what level range it is.

    Second, send tells out to people near your level, starting with those in the same zone as you, and working your way out. Be sure to mention in your /tell: AE, non-farm or story focused, your level or the level of the arc if its minimum is higher than your level, and which zone you're in.
  19. Bubbawheat
    I've played a lot of good arcs, for this thread, I'll list all the ones I've given 5 stars to:

    37636: The Missing by ShadowRush
    Great mystery of a story.

    110723: Females for Hire by @suedenim
    great customs, interesting and funny story.

    143017: Digital Transition by @Heroic
    Great contact with The Computer and a great story.

    1388: Celebrity Kidnapping by @PW
    Funny arc with excellent use of AE features.

    159672: The Omega Reports: Scavenger by @Luminara
    Excellent mystery with unique mob groups.

    2622: A Tangle in Time by @jjac
    Great writing for a time loop mystery.

    156389: Kiss Hello Goodbye! by @kitsune9tails
    Awesome film noir detective saga.

    I feel like I'm forgetting a couple more, but hopefully I'll remember before the edit window is up and I'll just add them. And thanks for the two votes for Time Loop, I appreciate it!
  20. Bubbawheat
    [ QUOTE ]
    Just played it. A few comments:

    Mission 1: The computer isn't "Mad Scientisty" enough. That comment seemed a little out of place, we aren't dealing with Dr. Aeon.
    You have text about the "Evil lab" and "Crazy lab". Labs aren't evil or crazy, they're a place. Maybe an evil scientist in the lab or a crazy lab raid would make more sense.


    [/ QUOTE ]

    The artifact originally came from a scientist's lab as mentioned in Foreshadow's opening dialog, it most likely did come from an Aeon-type. Also, labs can very well be crazy, I mean, look at what happens in the third and fourth mission. The same type of stuff probably happened at the lab. I'd call that "Crazy". Did change "Evil lab" to "Evil scientist's lab" though.

    [ QUOTE ]

    Agent Marx has "Hey!" before most of his sentences - a little overdone.


    [/ QUOTE ]

    No one had noticed before, but now that you point it out, I will notice every time I play it. Took some out.

    [ QUOTE ]

    Mission 2:
    I wouldnt have the computer disappear when clicking it. Why is it not "Mad Scientisy" enough this time around? There needs to be a premise for taking a closer look this time. The patrol is missing until later.
    I didnt like having the 2nd computer as a chained objective. Computers usually dont magically appear in an area you've just covered. I'd suggest having two computers in both mission 1 and mission 2.


    [/ QUOTE ]

    It's not "mad scientisty" because you've already seen it, and discounted it as the artifact. You're taking a closer look because it's one of the only somewhat notable things in the mission. It disappears because that is the best way for me to use the MA mechanics to tell the story the way I want to tell it. 1. You check the computer, but it's encrypted. 2. You get the code from Marx. 3. You enter the code into the computer. From an immersive point of view, the computer isn't "disappearing" and "reappearing", it's just out of your mind as an objective. If I could make the glowie "re-glow" I would do that instead.

    [ QUOTE ]

    Mission 3:
    The contact should say something like "What do you mean, found it twice?"


    [/ QUOTE ]

    Good point.

    [ QUOTE ]

    Why does the map keep getting bigger? This was never explained in the arc. I could understand if you went back in time a hundred years ago, that maybe the repercussions of your actions might alter architecture - but we're talking minutes or hours - hardly enough time to make that big of a difference.


    [/ QUOTE ]

    Some is explained in Time Shifter's info text. I added more explanation in the completion text and a new souvenir.

    [ QUOTE ]

    Now, you have a whole bunch of artifacts - all of them with a separate clue. I'd narrow the clues down to just what advances the story, and change the humorous clues to object feedback. Also maybe narrow down the number of glowies - and make them optional?


    [/ QUOTE ]

    They are optional, they just don't seem optional by the compass text. Evil? Yes, I know it is.

    [ QUOTE ]

    The level of humor doesnt seem even throughout the arc. There was a little mild humor in the earlier arcs with Marx's dialog, now I get umpteen funny glowies.
    Arachnos equipment clue - "it doesn't look alter-y". I had no clue what that meant.


    [/ QUOTE ]

    "it doesn't look time alter-y" - it doesn't look like it would alter time. My possibly bad attempt at Joss Whedon style.

    [ QUOTE ]

    The computer - why would I rip it up? A villain might do that, but not a hero.


    [/ QUOTE ]

    A hero would when reached to a certain level of frustration caused by repeating the same mission over and over, added with the knowledge that the computer will most likely be unharmed by the next mission, which it is.

    [ QUOTE ]

    The objectives list was confusing - I think you had the objective for defeat Marx as one of the "Find Item" objectives. I kept clicking glowies and it felt like the list was either not counting down when I got to 2 or got replaced.


    [/ QUOTE ]

    One of the problems with re-editing many times and not always having the chance to double check the changes right away. I had a few with the wrong wording, should be fixed now: # of possible artifacts to search, and only 2 to are needed.

    [ QUOTE ]

    Mission 4:
    Now I'm on an even bigger map. Again, why is never explained. Go through, find the "Time Shifter" and his "Spawn" companions. Very odd. Why is the villain group called "Devices"?
    The device you found clamps onto the villain, they go boom. End of story. Somewhat anti-climactic.


    [/ QUOTE ]

    It would be nice if they add "defeat animations" in later iterations. And most of the reactions to the Time Shifter spawn itself have been "WTH?!" which seems like a good enough climax for me. And I changed the group name to "bio-devices" which are mentioned in Time Shifters info, unless that got messed up in a previous edit.

    [ QUOTE ]

    The arc has promise, but could use a bit of polish.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Thanks for the constructive criticism, it's actually refreshing to see someone more critical. Thanks for the comments!
  21. Bubbawheat
    Trying to think of a different title for this arc. Suggestions welcome!

    Some brainstorm ideas to get the ball rolling:

    Let's do the Time Loop Again!
    Two More Weeks of Wyvern.
    A Shift in Time Saves Nine.
    Let's Shift Again, Like We Did Last Summer.
    It's Like Deja Vu All Over Again.
    Back to the Present!
  22. Bubbawheat
    I've been reviewing short arcs for a while now in exchange for feedback on my arcs. Well, I'm pretty happy with my two story focused arcs right now and I'm almost caught up with my queue which is slowing down. So I thought I'd try something a little different to mix things up. Well, not really mixing things up as putting a different spin on it, kind of like "Pay as you exit!"

    This is no longer active for submissions as I am going off on my own looking for arcs that interest me and reviewing them on their own threads, or in this thread if they don't have one of their own. This first post will also be updated with any new reviews that I post, wherever they may be.

    First, a recap of my reviews from my Short Arcs thread:
    Next, a recap of reviews from this thread:

    And now for my current reviews hopping to other's threads:
  23. Bubbawheat
    How about if they just didn't place it in your power tray when you start a new character?
  24. Bubbawheat
    Added a few more easter eggs in the (not required) glowie roundup mission. See if you recognize all the references!

    Also: What people have been saying about Time Loop:

    [Tell] 2009-05-15 06: 48:23 Message From @Tog-2 : Feedback on Architect Mission Time Loop: Good arc overall, a continuity error in Mission three. Patrol says 2 weeks, Marx says 1. Ar the end, it could really use a souvenir to explain it. The bad guy at the end is just sort of there. I can tell a lot of thought went into it, I just can't seem to understand that last fight.

    [Tell] 2009-05-15 15: 51:13 Message From @Dot Communist : Feedback on Architect Mission Time Loop: Excellent writing, good use of MA features, five stars. Five stars, good use of MA features, excellent writing. Good use of MA features, excellent writing, five stars.

    @Tahlana: Feedback on Architect Mission Time Loop: That was very enjoyable! Great story, well written and designed. I liked the way the warehouse "morphed" as time distorted, the last one with the sepia coloring was perfect. The clues for all the junk were great too (one seemed to have glitched text in the Navigation it read "1 Arifact 11"). [spoiler deleted] His dialog was great. Poor [spoiler deleted].

    @Lazorman: Feedback on Architect Mission Time Loop: A lot of fun, well done. Tight story and nice use of humor. I especially liked the red herring goodies and the constant references to the computer. Nice twist at the end with the [spoiler deleted]. There was a minor bug with the Mission 3 objectives text, it listed 11 Artifacts twice. Also the accept text on mission 4 was too big to read it all. 5 stars! Thank you

    [Tell] 2009-05-18 17: 01:38 Message From @zehntaur : Feedback on Architect Mission Time Loop: Very fun arc. Couldn't stop playing, had to find out what happened next!

    From PieRo:
    I really like the arc!

    I liked how instead of "accept mission" you had the response make it seem like the player was getting impatient, made me feel a little impatient having to read the same thing over and over, but not in a bad way, because I was experiencing the same thing my character was so it increased the immersion factor.

    Also for the glowie mission, it was a little tedious opening the clues window every time I got a clue, perhaps if you had a brief summary of the clue in the chat window or something. And I was a little disappointed I wasn't required to get all the glowies, I kinda wanted to, so I could read the descriptions, but that exit button was to compelling, I wanted to see the ending lol.

    The accept text on the mission after the glowies mission is too long and gets cut off. Also when the contact says, I guess you got it down, it insinuated, to me, that he is aware that the player is in a time loop, and is aware that he is repeating the same thing over and over.

    Great arc though. It was a nice change of pace from all the other arcs Ive been playing. Good Job!

    This is actually my first promotion ever, but if you want to, take a look at 162602 - "The Surge"
  25. Bubbawheat
    [ QUOTE ]
    Arc Name: Zero Entertainment

    Arc ID: 44824

    Faction: Neutral

    Creator Global/Forum Name: BungeeBall

    Difficulty Level: Soloable

    Synopsis: Always on the cutting edge of inter-dimensional entertainment DJ Zero gives you the chance to fight alongside your favorite Heroes and Heroines!

    Be sure to visit the gift shop after!

    Estimated Time to Play: About 15-20 minutes max

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Played as a lvl 40 fire/fire brute. It's an interesting concept, and most of the dialog was pretty funny. I would suggest something else for Citadel to say because "team debt c" doesn't really make any sense. I know the character limit hurts that type of dialog, but for those like me that took the time to translate it, "team debt c" wasn't worth it. Also, from a story perspective, the sewers is a bad choice. I get the feeling you picked it because of the layout, but having the big clusterbuster in the final room is hit or miss. If you hit, it's a great feeling to have cleared it (I've ran one arc in this room that I soloed my way out of, barely, and it IS a good feeling). BUT, if you miss, it feels impossible to succeed, especially after all the heroes are dead. Also, for all the heroes, go to the plural nav text and write "heroes to save". And for all the villains, do the same and write "villains to fight". So you see 8 heroes to save, 6 villains to fight, instead of the big long list of all their names.