airhead

Thanks for the update! I've updated my diary.

And my PDA. And my todo list. And my whiteboard. And my monitor post-its. And my mobile phone alarms. And my evening prayers.

I'll try to get around to it. //airhead

I gave Teen Phalanx Forever a shot. I tried with a toon at the bottom end of the level ranges, so he'd get XP all through. Great premise, interesting random missions, then a couple of missions linked at the end. I didn't get much XP, the allies took so much of it (especially when I was using psi attacks against an all-robot enemy). But it would have taken hours to solo, so I appreciate the allies.

I understand the level ramps up as the story takes place over some length of my toon's career, but I didn't sense that here (perhaps because AE lets you jump so quickly into each mission). It was clear that the bad guys got a lot harder.

Unfortunately it was not possible for me to finish. In the last mission, Citadel XP was the strongest of my sidekicks. Then he went and got stuck in the floor:

Citadel XP floored, floored and trying to get out, floored and dead

After I lost my other allies, I lured the big-bad back to Citadel XP, but he didn't last long with just the two of us. The arc was worth 5 stars up til this point, for interesting premise and good storyline within each mission.

There also seemed to be an ambush on the big bad guy, which would be quite unnecessary, unless I just got unlucky with a passing patrol. My allies got wiped pretty quickly, except for Val, who outlived me 3 times. I hate unwinnable arcs, but this bug appears to be out of anyone's control. So I haven't voted. Hopefully I'll get another chance to play this on a team soon.

Cheers, airhead

Edit: tried again with my character at the bottom end of the level range. Even with all allies present, could not overcome the final baddie. Still well written, a 4 with 5-star potential.

Arc 292449, The Shadow of Eibhon, @Photonstorm

All up, a very enjoyable arc. Some polish still to go, but 5-starring since I'm sure you'll follow through. The rest of this post is small things.

The Arc Description starts: "After an imprisonment for time beyond measure" - my imprisonment? This doesn't make sense to me.
Five missions, consistent level range, medium and unique maps. It'll be long, but hopefully not too long.
Surprising to have a high level arc without an EB, but there are custom power selections that might pose a challenge.
Custom groups include both "Generic" and "Custom Group". I've never seen that before. Anyone know what "Generic" refers to? I thought it might be a custom group containing only existing critters, but that doesn't seem to apply to my own arc.

The contact is Ashleigh McKnight, who has an extremely small emblem of a dragonfly on her top.
Her description indicates she's controversial, but not why - unless enlisting in the Midnight Squad the day of the Rikti invasion makes her controversial. Typo in description: member -> members
Mission 1 introduction: imprisonned -> imprisoned
Interesting premise, I'm to destroy the binding on a demon, and that will send it home. In some stories, this sets it free to wreak havoc.

My mission navigation is in bold, not really necessary. Also, could change: Stop The Ceremony -> Stop the Ceremony
Mission 1 entry pop-up: watching you from -> watching from (just reads smoother, having "you" repeated at the end of the sentence.)
The Runebreakers group is intriguing! Perhaps could update description of the Lesser Runebreaker, currently describes a Follower.
Typo: Runebreaker Palunir: Orangega -> Oranbega
Typo: Casket guards: at all cost! -> at all costs!
Mission 1 return message: succesful -> successful

Mission 2 intro: surprises -> surprise ; points out to -> points to
Interesting, the way my contact was duped. An unfortunate turn of events, but well written. It doesn't leave the player feeling stupid, or stupid for trusting the contact.
But given that I destroyed the casket, I don't quite understand how I "stole" anything.
Good explanation for having Family in this map.
Tarikoss' description suggests he's a villain with his own agenda. That would make an ideal candidate for being the villain in this piece. Yet he is my ally. This is confusing. It is only revealed he's Ashley's informant on my return.
Perhaps, as a ransacked Skulls hideout, there might still be some Skulls hiding somewhere, or in a losing battle.
Typo in The Skull's Account Clue: awaken -> awoken
Typo in return text: pieces together -> piece together

Mission 3 intro: investigate about one -> investigate one ; tipping off the balance -> tipping the balance
Mission 3 send-off: woking -> working
This group of skulls is very cool!
To defeat Obscurio, I had to defeat a colleague hidden around a corner. Perhaps make him boss-only-to-complete.
The return text suggests the captives became lifeless husks after defeating Obscurio. But I rescued one of them after defeating Obscurio, and he ran out the exit.

Mission 4 intro: motions -> motion
Intriguing premise! I shouldn't defeat someone as it would set other problems in motion, yet I still need to show him I could defeat him, so presumably he's not aware of the greater risks or he'd point them out instead. Oh, what a tangled web we weave!
I "free" Darrin, then a new goal to defeat someone is given. The dialog doesn't explain why, and there's no clue. Darrin says "I don't know who I'm dealing with", doesn't quite connect with "Defeat O'Oi'Mhu".
Very nice debrief!

Mission 5 intro: don't know -> doesn't know ; Ratablavaski body -> Ratablavaski's body
Perhaps could say that the Casket the CoT stole is the new casket (since they had another one in mission 1). It would be good if I could find the casket after the Grand Runebreaker (placing objectives on map).
Mission 5 send-off: protects you -> protect you
I found an objective (casket) that I cannot complete yet.
And now I'm to defeat Evil Emil! I don't know why I'm compelled to read that backwards, the Lime Live...
Evil Emil combat dialog: meddels into my -> meddle in my
Evil Emil was a bit of an anticlimax, considering some of my earlier challenges. Probably should make him an EB.

Cheers, airhead

Mr Captain Man's plan sounds ludicrous.

But it's not.

14% of the almost-38,000 published-and-rated arcs* in the system are 5-stars. That's over 5,000 arcs. To get this rating, an arc must have 4.5 stars on average. Otherwise, the arc might fall into the 4-star category, which currently has 56% (yes, MORE THAN HALF) of the published-and-rated arcs.

If someone considers rating during a search, they'll gravitate to the 5-star arcs. They're listed first, usually with many pages of such arcs unless the search is very specific about something else. 5-star arcs get played at random. I cannot prove it, but data mining might. But it appears true, having watched many arcs progress over a few months.

Adding one more 5-star rating without "good reason" (and that is nowhere defined) gives the architect a tiny leg-up in this game. They can weather a 4-star vote, and still be 5-star.

On the other hand, rating an arc 3-stars, even for "good reason" (again, nowhere defined) sets the architect back - they need THREE 5-star ratings to get back to the 4.5 average. 2-stars and 1-star set you back FIVE and SEVEN 5-stars, respectively.

So using an average calculation gives all power to the griefers. NOTE: A MEDIAN CALCULATION OF RATING WOULD MEAN EVERY VOTE IS CONSIDERED EQUAL (and might balance out the overflowing 4-star bucket). Meanwhile, Mr Captain Man would do no harm voting with "no good reason" as a 5 does little to change an arc's rating. Compared to someone 1-starring an arc because it clashes with their personal choice. It's enough to give a nasty reviewer a god complex.

And I am not saying MCM has "no good reason". Just, "what if".

* I am not including the 15,000-odd unrated arcs in this analysis.

Thanks both of you for the reviews! Very good choice of characters for this propoganda. I'm glad you found it fun, and dug up lots of the hidden humor.

Dynamic was smart, because he had his writers writing for him. In-mission, he's not so smart, and regrets it. But I understand where you're coming from, there's nothing to indicate the writers are much smarter... I'll think on it.

Many of the Lost spawning should have been customs (custom Lost + Rikti group, wearing white-ish), with their own descriptions. Rikti never spawn less than level 30, aside from some bosses. But I just saw a bugged Rikti spawn in a group, way over the Lost level. Another reason to change the arc to levels 30-50. Nobody seems to find it randomly anyway, so having a narrower level range will be fine. Slippery can then be a (not too tough) EB.

The original plot (bust snakes; stop Great Face; help Great Face) is pretty dense, I tried to condense it a bit. The Snakes are there specifically so they will not be there when you go looking for them. I could lose "Boa" but one of you liked him The first mission is a shout out to the Captain Dynamic videos. It got you in the right frame of mind though, so I don't think I'll change it much.

I'll cut some crates. You are disturbed. I mean, uh, something must have hit/moved you.

One question: when was the "gotcha" moment, for you?

Cheers, airhead

Good questions. I've moved my reply to the above to Airheaded Editorials arc. Edit: that'd be a thread, not an arc.

Here.

Hi PoliceWoman,

I'll try to keep this short - hopefully doesn't lose its meaning. Your summary of arc 190069's intent is correct.

1. Is the contact, meant to be the "real" Captain Dynamic...?
The arc is written and slotted into MA, no editing taking place thereafter. Captain Dynamic the contact is programmed into the storyarc. There's no AI involved, so he just spouts the text given to him by the architects (CD and perhaps GF), and hacked in places by Captain Slippery. Mindy (who has an AI providing some independence) indicates he won't know things are broken.

2. Why does Captain Slippery change the first mission into a cat rescue? How does he benefit from this?
It's possible the switch was a mistake by the architects or writers (CD and GF have writers helping them as well). If Captain Slippery made the switch, it would be to highlight how pathetic Captain Dynamic's mission is (the one he was supposedly "doing" while you were supposed to face the Snakes). That ties into a planned mission from the videos (videos also showing how pathetic Captain Dynamic is - he doesn't want any danger in his mission). No, not much effort. Very deliberately so.

3. If we are inside the hacked story arc, why are Great Face's emails inside the story arc?
Captain Slippery copied them in there, after raiding them from Great Face's account. He edited the .storyarc file. To discredit Great Face.

4. Why would Captain Slippery include Euronator robots to defeat in the hacked mission? I would think Captain Slippery would be wanting to make his team the good guys, not the bad guys.
Captain Slippery does think he's the good guys. That's why he "replaced" (defeated) Archon Burkeholder, to show he's the good guy, also to show he's better than anyone else. He assumes that since he's a hero, the Euros will be good guys so the player can't hit them (that oversight is revealed in Slippery's dialog at the end).

5. If this story arc is really just something ... republished ... why is (the presumably "live") Captain Slippery inside it?
Captain Slippery has an AI, as he's an actor in the storyarc. He'd gloat if he didn't suddenly discover you can attack him (an oversight by Slippery). He still tries to get you to quit out and go away (he's not real, so he doesn't care about his defeat particularly).

6. How does the changes Captain Slippery makes actually accomplish his goal of stealing Captain Dynamic's identity?
Slippery tries to humiliate Dynamic, just because he's mean. He can wreck Great Face's account, a temporary interruption, but he figures he has enough email dirt on Great Face to make him go away for good. Dynamic, being Great Face's friend, would follow. Name is freed up, Slippery grabs it. Evil plan complete with plot holes... but it's just a plan. Humiliation is key here, so he needs the arc to be in its current state, not Naruto fanfic.

A. How real is Mindy?
Mindy, and Captain Dynamic inside the mission, have an AI. Great Face too. They are preprogrammed actors in a simulation, when the script their AI has suddenly stops making sense. That's why they attempt to rationalize the hacking going on around them. Slippery doesn't rewrite their dialog, he just changes objectives. Evil plan with plot holes...

B. I'm not sure it makes sense for him to wear armor that isn't working?
Not sure how important this is. He could pull it in a suitcase I guess, if that were possible. Or wear parts of it, if that were possible. Options in the costume editor today won't look much like the Rikti outfit. I have no access to anime costume parts. I can't add an aura to a Rikti.

C. Heh, I'd like it if the Snakes actually were terrified of Rikti techie taffy
Yep, the connection is a good one. I'll weave that into the encounter with Boa.

Arc 278757, The Rikti Accession, @Mekkanos

This one is by request. Apologies for being a bit of a mechanical review, I made the mistake of trying to do this over several days and so I didn't end up with a good handle on the continuity. To make up for this, I'd happily review again after you're done editing for this.

In summary, this arc is very well polished for an arc with so few plays, and creates a convincing and intriguing story for getting involved with traditional and non-traditional Rikti in about a new and believable problem (beyond their previous 'magic' differences). The arc would do well to also be reviewed by one of the canon-obsessed reviewers (I mean that in a good way) since I don't think my experience equips me in that area. I think it is the only area that you might trip up. The story worked fine for me, 5-stars easily.

My contact for the arc is C'Kelkah! A familiar Traditionalist. She even has a description. She's apparently one of 6 leaders of the Traditionalists. Last I knew her, she was simply a dignitary. Perhaps this takes place after her in-game arcs.
C'kelkah description: liason -> liaison
Mission 1 send-off: seems be -> seem to be
Mission 1 busy msg: taut -> taunt
The heretic looks far more human than Rikti. Perhaps try the Alien helmet for the head? Unless it's intentional that "evolved" does go in a human direction. Bit cliche if it does though. Nice touch with the Rikti melee weapons.

Mission 2 intro: prescence -> presence
I can't tell if your Restructurist Scientist is recolored. It appears to be a Rikti soldier or leader, in typical Rikti colors. Since you can, might try coloring him differently.

Mission 3: finding Rikti in all kinds of odd colors! Nice.
The 'busy' message shows more effort put into it than I've ever seen in a busy message before! Astonishing.

Mission 4: intro: seperate -> separate
Nice mission explanation, many good elements coming up!
I chose not to take on Hro'tDoz.

Mission 5: I really like the multiple outcomes. I chose the "Fail" option. Not what I believe in, personally, but my superhero's power is gullibility, which affects him also, and the last suggestion he got was Rhodes' clue...

That was a short review. I'd like to hear when you've edited, as I'd like to give this a proper go. I don't think I was fully aware of my options when deciding in the last mission, but that's most likely because I didn't play through continuously.

Cheers, airhead

Thanks Policewoman. Sorry my arc did not follow your expected conventions. But I have to wonder if you're playing too many arcs in a row. The assumptions you make about how an arc should work are pretty stiff. I didn't want to be one of those people who post infinitely-scrolly replies to their review. But, here I go.

> Level range: hard to say?
There's one odd mission at level 1. But exemplaring doesn't lose you experience in this special case. There is no problem here, only the assumption of a problem. It was fine that you picked a level 50 blaster.

> The arc description suggests checking out the "Captain Dynamic videos" on a web site, but I thought it would be more fair to see how well this arc stands on its own,
> without additional background information from outside the AE system itself.
This has worked for some people. You do not need information outside the AE. But others need the videos to understand that the AE system involves in-game architects (sounds obvious, but clearly from your review, it's not). I provided the suggestion to improve your experience of the arc. The videos are from NCsoft, about the AE system. You can't argue that's "fair", it's just your assumption that my arc is like others.

> ...fun background information, about how this story arc was co-written with the approval of Captain Dynamic's nemesis.
Close, but it wasn't written with "approval". Captain Dynamic wrote an arc, sent it to his nemesis to edit, and then uploaded it without playing it himself. That sequence of events is key to the chaos that ensues.

Subsequent pseudo-science was intentionally far-fetched, your impression there was spot-on. Note that I used the Nav Title for location, since the objectives spell out why you're there. But it is done consistently, I don't understand why that should detract from your enjoyment?

> though, no cat has been mentioned so far, so it's also kind of puzzling.
That's fine. The videos might have explained this, but they might not. Puzzled is good. Something has definitely gone wrong.

> I'm exemplared down to level 1 ... but I know some players are extremely aggravated by that
It's stated in the arc summary. The player can choose not to play the arc. Once they're in that mission, the player will not miss their powers at all. Focus should be on figuring out the plot.

> ...after clicking the cat box. Was a cat supposed to come out of it?
Objective completion text said "cat came out, and ran down the hall".

> It doesn't seem like I can interact with the "Badmobile" (can target it but not shoot it).
Objective text and description of the "Badmobile" indicate you don't need to shoot it.

> Found Mindy and her cat; her background story is pretty funny. "annoited" should be "anointed" though.
Glad you liked it. More silly architect-ing. Will fix typo!

> I'm a little baffled by the fourth-wall breaking comment she makes on arriving at the door
This does not break any fourth wall. The comments are not about you, the player/audience. It's about your character, in a simulation, written by architects in-game, in the AE center. Her comment is key to understanding the arc. Assuming it breaks the fourth wall is assuming your architect-contact didn't exist.

> "Good luc" should be "Good luck" though.
It's hacked, as stated in large, red text. More such "typos" could have been found in objectives in mission 3.

> I'm utterly baffled by the 24 point bold faced red text about being hacked by Euronators and Captain Slippery and stuff. Huh?
From the mission 1 send-off, highlighted in yellow text, the arc was written by one architect, emailed to another. An email came back, and it was uploaded.
But confusion should be short-lived. You did notice the Captain Dynamics were notably hacked up. Even evading the Euronators initially made sense. If you accept that architects are part of the game, then there are plenty of hints dropped indicating something must has gone wrong with the two-architect plan.

> ...named "empty crate"...make it less obvious that they are just decoys
Good idea!

> [The Euronators] monologue that they "are the new Archon Burkholder" which doesn't make a lot of sense.
Many things haven't gone according to plan at this point. Did you remember the hackers signed as "Euronators"?

> Defeating them gives me the "Archon defeated" clue, which says "You have thwarted Archon Burkholder", which is not technically true, as I never saw him.
This isn't good. You're still assuming continuity of the simulation is unbroken at this point, even with it being so obviously hacked?

> I'd be annoyed by this except that it's clearly trying to portray [Captain Dynamic] as incredibly egotistical.
Thanks He happens to be like that in the videos too.

> teaming up with [Great Face] against the Rikti, in order to prevent the Rikti from learning the secrets of... how to make Rikti armor. Is this meant to be absurd? I'm not sure now.
Make Rikti armor, yes, but the text also says, on Earth Prime, our Earth. It further clarifies that Rikti armor is supplied interdimensionally, and this supply route is a critical weakness of the Rikti. Not sure how you missed that.

Separately, it sounds like you've found things to enjoy along the way, that's good... and you've figured the red font is the hacker.

> I think Great Face has an extra period at the end of his name (which makes his dialog look odd as a result).
Unfortunately I have both a captive and an ally objective with the same name, and that's not allowed, so I snuck in a period. I'm curious anyone knows a s less text-intrusive way to make the two objectives different? A trailing space wasn't accepted.

> I'm not sure why the Great Face also was a Rikti. (Later I determined it was because he was wearing Rikti armor. But I thought mission 2 sabotaged his plan to make Rikti armor? Possible
> continuity error.)
The mission intros explain that Great Face has made armor, but is missing the key ingredient to reinforce it, the Rikti techie taffy. He's wearing the armor, it's not finished. I can further elaborate in his description. I think I even have it in his group name.

> Is "Rikti techie taffy" supposed to be a reference to Rikki-Tikki-Tavvi?
You're the first to notice that. It's a throw-away connection, I forgot it might be linked back to those Snakes. Jack Emmert apparently wanted Rikki-Tikki-Tavvi, as a word, in the game somehow - hence "Rikti". I took it a step further, your imagination took it a step further again, very interesting. Since this is the ingredient the Snakes can't manufacture, you're actually right!

> I found a bunch of wastebaskets with "emails" in them, ... make Great Face sound more like a troubled schoolgirl than an archvillain.
He's an architect first, then a wannabe villain. You've rightly deduced, he's probably not a very good one.

> I'm not sure a wastebasket graphic makes sense for an email
Emails being treated as trash by the hacker

> I found a glowy labeled "annealer" and clicked it, but it didn't seem to do anything
I added those three laboratory equipment things later to make the place more "interesting", you have good suggestions for avoiding confusion with those. They're decorative, to show the purpose of this lab - making armor (metallurgy). I have no idea why you find this a problem.

> Djan'zor never said anything, maybe needs some dialog.
Good idea. An opportunity I've missed.

> I rescued a Snake named Boa Constructor, who gave me a cute "Wire Hero" clue, but seemed just to be a gag and not really related to the plot.
Snakes make the armor in this lab. He doesn't help you destroy things, and he's not a required rescue, but he is intrinsically relevant to the plot behind the original arc. Again, I have no idea why you find non-required elements a problem.

> ...I found another Great Face hostage had spawned, which I went and rescued. (I wonder if it is possible to have both Great Faces active at the same time?)
Nope, they're chained. Although, if the first Great Face fails to exit the map due to a bug, then there'd be two. Hasn't happened yet.

> Leading him to the door didn't do anything though?
He's an ally, not an escort. Nothing suggests you should lead him to the door. He says to take him upstairs. A clue you have from the techie taffy also clarifies this. There are no escorts at all in the last mission.

> He had some interesting fourth wall breaking dialog about the nature of this mission.
Architect Entertainment does exist, architects exist, they have a building, they write story arcs in game, the fourth wall is not broken. Fourth wall breaks refer to the player's environment, not your character's environment.

> Thought it was particularly brave to have him say: [NPC] Captain Slippery: Quit this mission! Don't vote! ...
Cool, huh? Unfortunately, the nature of players is to finish arcs, even ones they don't understand, no matter what instructions you might give them. C'est la vie, not so brave. I lampshade again when Slippery repeats "don't finish the arc"... in the souvenir.

> ...the big bad guy now has the means to make Rikti armor. This seems to contradict mission 2, which said that Great Face having this technology would be catastrophic, causing the end of the world?
Technically, you're right, the accept text suggests you're saving the world. I'll tone that down. Great Face having Rikti armor is merely problematic, not world-threatening. Self-armoring Rikti (mission 3) is world-threatening.

> The souvenir says "NO YOU SAVED CAPTAIN DYNAMIC'S STUPID CAT" but in the actual mission you save Mindy's cat, which I think is a continuity error
I'll change it to Mindy's cat. It's the cat that the real Captain Dynamic is supposed to rescue. It's the mission that overwrote the misssion with Snakes you initially thought you were going to do.

> But, overall I was very confused by this arc. Perhaps it makes more sense if you know who Captain Dynamic is, or look at the (external) background info.
Following a previous review that also expected I write a generic arc, I am making the videos recommended, not suggested.

> Rescuing the cat in mission 1 was nice, but didn't seem connected to the rest of the story and was not inherently all that interesting in terms of gameplay.
For 'gameplay', I assume you mean beat stuff up, use your powers. You probably didn't have the truck spawn in the hall (happens usually but not always) so you perhaps didn't have to find a way get past it without any powers (a unique challenge). Even without this, you should be figuring out what might go wrong when multiple architect characters write an arc. A mission doesn't have to provide a set level of challenge or set amount of experience, and it's a very short mission.

> At times the Great Face is an evil villain, at others he's a misunderstood ally; this could maybe work if his/her motivations were made clearer.
His motivations were pretty clear in the mission introductions. He wants to rule the world, Rikti want to destroy it. Once the Rikti get involved, Great Face's objective is the lesser evil. It's stated in the mission intros.

Your suggestions are appreciated for the effort you've put in, but this is an arc where you are helping an architect. Making it more real will only make it less intelligible. Pretending the simulation is real misses the point. There were no Snakes!

> I hope you think that's fair!
Due to that other reviewer, this arc is dead to the possibility of reaching 5 stars. Your 3 cancels out a further three 5-stars when pursuing the 4.5 stars that gets an arc noticed. Despite the rating, your feedback is fair.

airhead

Hey BL,

No problem, I understand the arc isn't conventional. I try to pick reviewers for it that do well with unconventional arcs, like yourself, but then there's plenty of kinds of unconventional so I don't mind that it didn't work for you. I really appreciate you following up with tells to try to bridge the gap between us

[ QUOTE ]
Except, we don't fight snakes. We don't fight anything. We click a glowie and then lead out a girl that spawns. Then our contact acts like we just completed the mission he sent us on. Very confusing.

[/ QUOTE ]
This is meant to be confusing. And get you thinking about what happened. The girl actually explains it, in the 100 characters she gets to speak at the end of that very short, deliberately harmeless mission.

I'd hoped to make this arc work fine independently of the videos, and I think I got the content to work that way (some jokes would be missed, but I never expect anyone to get all the jokes anyway - so they need to work as not-jokes too). However, the movies also set a scene of architects, who are in game, who email each other and such. Not quite immersion-breaking, but immersion on a different level. I think that might be also why the videos got mixed reviews (if it wasn't about the humor, or weird stuff like blaming the videos for the release date ).

My arc description mentions "This is a story about multiple architects". I'll write that twice... and recommend viewing the vids, instead of suggesting it. I doubt that'll solve this for you, but it might be in the right direction. Thanks for giving the arc a try!

Cheers, airhead

Edit: This is the lowest mark the arc's gotten so far. For someone chasing the elusive 4.5 star boundary between 4 and 5 stars showing, a 2 is equivalent to saying five 5-star responses were wrong. I get that many ratings in a month (often 4's), if I post like mad here. For anyone using ratings to determine anything (dev choice, hall of fame, random plays) the arc is now dead.

Arc 275741, Peacemoon's All-Star Challenge,
@Peacemoon

Two large maps and three unique maps - sounds enormous! The weirdest part, the levels for each of the 5 missions have no overlap. 6-9/17-19/27-29/36-39/50-54. Understanding that the premise is to face increasingly tough villains, it is difficult to pick a toon for this. Only a character from 6-9 will gain XP throughout the arc. Will such a character survive the 50-54 level mission? Even in a group?

I'll take a level 50 toon through this, since they don't get XP anyway. But I do wonder what audience you're expecting to play this.

The arc is explained as a simulation.
Mission 1 intro: bare -> bear
The description implies I'm high level when I begin. Perhaps suggest this to players in the Arc Description.
The sendoff says "won't have access to hardly any of your powers" - double-negative. Perhaps "won't have access to many of your powers".
Peacemoon's description: as nurse -> as a nurse

There's not really any story here. I can't imagine a storyline making sense if it was to try to tie the bosses together. But perhaps there could be a story about why the simulation was created - to prepare you for [something], to test your capabilities for the Menders to target you at your weakest time in history, whenever that might be [providing a different reason to trick you into being there] or some other story.
Mission 1 return: lets -> let's

I only did mission 1 since I'm really looking for story arcs. I didn't vote.

Cheers, airhead

Hi Beach Lifeguard,

If you have 20-ish minutes, you might try my Captain Dynamic arc (more details in my sig, below). Also, I looked at your Be a Villain arc, hope the review is useful.

Cheers, airhead

Arc 18503, So you want to be a villain?, @Beach Lifeguard

This review wasn't specifically solicited, but BL's review thread does indicate feedback is appreciated.

My hero, Airhead, played this. (He's quite impressionable. "Duh, okay, I want to be a villain!")

Crey, Customs, Praetorian Clockwork. Strange combination! 4 missions, with 3 unique maps. Strangely, the first mission has a lower level of 30, while the other missions have 1. I might re-test this with a low level hero to see if that's a bad thing.
The Arc Description says conscious, should be conscience.

Strange, my contact is simply called Contact Hologram. "Ask about this contact" doesn't say anything more, you could add a description of the contact.
Mission 1 intro: Its -> It's ; Your not on -> You're not on ; conscious -> conscience
Mission 1 send-off - there's definitely plenty of evil in my actions, but beyond pure evil, what's in this for me? I make Crey poorer, and people suffer, but I think most villains also have a greed aspect. Perhaps I could find some potential gain in the suffering I cause? Playing Crey's stock price, or sell those cures myself to the desperate people? This gets resolved in mission 2, but it did leave me a bit short of motive in mission 1.

Ahh, Crey is very dull at level 50. All Power Tanks. Since I'm a lackey on this arc in any case, perhaps you could set the upper limit a little lower to get more variety in Crey spawns?

Strange that such important cures are in a warehouse, like common goods. I'd expect them to be in a Crey lab.
Rogue Candystriper description: patients -> patients'
The Botanist description: develope -> develop
Rogue MD description: scalpal -> scalpel
Perhaps the CEO should be boss-only to defeat, or else indicate objective is to defeat him and his "management team" or something.

Wedding mission. The groom's animation is... punching his fist into his hand? Saying, "I can't wait to marry my sweetheart!"?? And I thought I was the villain. Then the bride, "This is the happiest day of my life!", is also doing the taunt animation. Yoiks.
for both bride and groom, it's necessary to defeat the longbow around them as well as them. Perhaps could be set to boss-only-to-complete.
Both the bride and groom have only the default lieutenant description. This is definitely a place to highlight why this might be Paragon City's biggest day in years.

Kidnap Child mission. Not sure why "?!" is on the end of the mission title - my behaviour doesn't really give me the right to question such a plot.
Accept string is just "accept", opportunity there to exaggerate my eviltude.
The rich family is protected by The Mob. I think I could get more evil than this?
The child is animated as a kneeling hostage. For extreme pity, could be "receiving punches" or just sitting on the floor.
Once rescued the child, it says "Lead hostage out". Could be "Drag hostage away".
Also, would be good to recolor the child so it doesn't resemble Baby New Year so much
Return message: handicap -> handicapped

The ending is a bit in-between. If I was expected to make moral decisions, you could hint at it with more than just the question mark in the last mission title...

Overall, I think with polish this is a 4-star arc. To get to 5-star, it could be more darkly humorous (it's close already) or if the moral angle is the key here, then the last mission could perhaps have the contact unaware the child is handicapped. Or make it more plausible that the contact is kidding. Otherwise, it really does seem the contact is as reprehensible, or more, than the player, even if the player does go ahead.

Cheers, airhead

No schedule!? AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!

No really, take your time, and make it really good.

Quickly

[ QUOTE ]
Many people aren't looking for criticism, they're looking for approval.

[/ QUOTE ]

That is absolutely spot-on. There are other reasons for writing arcs too, but those are probably the most common reasons for posting your own arc in the forum. Then there's arcs posted about by someone else.

It takes empathy (and sometimes, just plain logic - Blight was not posted by the author) to figure out which it is. People are complex. Some are probably NOT playing City of Heroes to simulate a "contact sport life". Life is not only like that, at least, not for me. Clearly, as I can afford to play a game on the internet. Learning how to deal with harsh reality can be done somewhere else.

Of course, CoH can also be a contact sport. PVP is an example, that can easily be avoided if it' not your cup of tea. Unfortunately the forum doesn't have such boundaries, and relying on empathy isn't working. But it can't be that bad, I still come here every day.

And while I disagree with Venture above, I can easily live with his perspective. It's far less ugly than putting your fingers in your ears and shouting over someone else.

I think there's lots of valid stuff being said, lots of hyperbolae, and I will only say that I think AE has potential to provide fun, and writing and critiquing offers an avenue for people to improve some of their story-telling skills, if done sensitively. This thread is something else.

I found this Blight arc to be very creative, and I am all for that. I withheld any comment because of the vitriol in this thread, which I want nothing to do with.

I just happened to also review and 5-star a Venture arc, an arc on my todo list for a while now, despite the fact that I find Venture's posts are often insensitive, which makes them unconstructive (maybe it's personal, he looked at one of my arcs, didn't like it, found one mission "horrible" without explanation, but on the other hand it wasn't a formal review). But I played his arc, and it was okay. I figured, being objective might even soften his approach! Well, not now, since I just spelled it out. Anyway, I disclosed this because...

My arc that has been played just 29 times since April, and not for some time now, just scored a 1- or 2-star. For real? Check my review thread. I'm not a "heavyweight".

Maybe I'm overreacting, the rating of my arc comes from a sincere effort to consider the arc's merits, and a constructive review is about to be posted. That'd be great.

Arc Splintered Shields

[This review took place during some flame threads, and has utterly nothing to do with those.]

I decided to give this a go as it's been described as Venture's best. I wanted to see if it beat Blowback, my favorite so far.

The premise suggests an Arachnos agent troublemaker. The contact is the beastly Dietrich! But... she's being nice to me. I don't really want a contact who demeans me, but I also think Dietrich should be mean. I can't have it both ways. Or...Perhaps she could begin as her beastly self, but acknowledge that someone in Longbow asked for me specifically? Not to railroad your story, but then she could be herself (initially), and I could still feel cool She'd warm to the player soon enough.

I get into the mission, and Longbow assault me. These are definitely not the ones that might have asked for me.

I like the idea of getting to question the bad guy, and not having the assumption I'd use violent means. Special K is a drug?? I didn't realise a cereal and a habit were the same thing. Nice use of friendly ambush (or something similar) to provide more action on the horrid cargo ship map. Thanks for not making glowies required. Interesting and complex string of encounters in the second mission. I missed several of the battles, but healed up the Longbow survivors. Few survivors remained on my second pass through the map.
Martha Kincaid description: divsion -> division

Taggart (Arachnos) is mingling with Malta. Not seen that before. I can see their turf overlapping, but working together? Perhaps you can tell me where there's a precedent for this (I'm sure there's a precedent for everything).

"A.V." Livingston. Heh. I guess acronyms are better than anagrams. Sir Oldsemen will have to wait. AV appeared at Elite Boss level since I'm on lame-heroic difficulty. He chain mezzes fairly easily after my personal forcefield got me through his initial massive attacks. I suspect I just had a good counter-build for this one.

And a very nice finish.

Overall, it is as good a story as Blowback for storyline, better than Blowback for the player feeling involved, but seemed a little less tight on the characterizations. The switching-sides is a good precursor to the Going Rogue release. I sometimes felt more mercenary than superhero. I think that began as I wasn't convinced WMD wasn't hoodwinking me, mainly because she was acting out of character. But ultimately nothing was wrong with the story. Rounded up to 5-stars.

Cheers, airhead

The Pursuit of Liberty was a lot of fun, more comments in-game.

Perhaps you'll enjoy "Captain Dynamic, the Great, Faces The Great Face", #190069. It's just 15-20 minutes long. It might make more sense if you've seen the Captain Dynamic video clips, but that's not required.

The story has you playing the part of Captain Dynamic to try out an arc he wrote with his friends, and gets pretty strange pretty fast.

Cheers, airhead

Arc 255895: Future's End @Justice Blues

I was invited to try Future's End, #255895, understanding I haven't played the first two in the series. It will be interesting to see how well it stands on its own. I see 4 small maps (one with defeat-all) and a unique map. All sounds good. Solo, Canon, Save the World.

Overall, the arc was quite enjoyable, 5-star potential. Had some really good moments, and did not contradict canon. Some small things could be improved, and may require some change of emphasis if the arc should work for people who haven't played parts 1 and 2.

The Description says Mirror Spirit wants me to finish off the Future Skulls, and lists the two previous episodes. I wouldn't expect this arc to stand alone based on that. I considered that you could say this is "the third arc featuring the Future Skulls" (rather than calling this a "sequel") but after playing through I think it might require several changes to make this standalone. I'll still offer suggestions for doing that, but might not be worth it. On the other hand, you might get more plays.

The level range has an odd lower limit in the third mission. I can't think of why, best to iron that out. Let me know what's causing it, if you need suggestions on how to fix it.

I'll play this with my level 14 psi/energy blaster, Eying Maiden.

Mission 1
The contact, Mirror Spirit, gives a great prologue of the Future Skulls in the first paragraph: Skulls from the Future. This is good. This also involves me in events ("fighting against us") that could be less specific, without offending people who actually did do the previous arcs. It also mentions "your adventures with Talsak", not sure how to reword that since I didn't play the earlier arcs. The Accept string says "finish them off", which sounds like I started already, which I didn't. In any case, this mission is about finding the Futes, not finishing them, so a different Accept could be used.

There's a very specific warning to bring break-frees for a boss I know nothing about. It's a little immersion-breaking. I understand you want a warning, would "I hope you have the right inspiration for this - to Break Free from anything holding you back." Still in warning color. I appreciated the warning and grabbed a couple.
M1 entry popup should end with ?

I'm off on the path - to a Skulls hideout. I meet Circle of Thorns? Then skulls. A second level battle shows they're in opposition. I'm to find Dirjact. Why? Who is he? Maybe Mirror Spirit might have known? That would possibly make it more logical to warn that Break Frees are needed. Otherwise, it could be "Defeat whoever is in charge here".

Dirjact is being held. Perhaps he could say "Mere punks should not be able to hold me" rather than "You..." so I don't think he's referring to me. Dirjact lets me know what Bonesnap is up to. He says communicate with "something", perhaps that could be "something from another dimension", or "something evil", it's a bit vague.
exit pop-up: beat -> beating ; kind of nice -> nice

The return message, and the mission 2 introduction, are great. Also no issues with this being my first Future Skulls arc. However the Accept, says "beat up Bonesnap again", this is my first time.

I meet my first Future Slammer, one of the Future Skulls. It seems there is a "Bride" managing this operation. Intriguing.
[NPC] Future Slammer: How much longer must we put up with these weaklings?
[NPC] Gravedigger Slugger: Until the Bride tells us it is time for them to die.
Who are the weaklings? Regular Skulls? The one responding seems to be a regular Skull.

Bonesnap seems to have figured out a way to fly? I really don't get the dialog here. I also think Bonesnap's dialog could show an interesting personality. As it is, he says "blast you" and "I don't have time for this". What is he up to? (Is flying relevant?) The Clue says a little bit, but that should be apparent in the dialog. Also, I beat him down bit by bit, but he never ran. Nav says to stop him escaping, shouldn't he be trying to escape? If he can escape, the return-fail text will need to make sense (perhaps you still stopped him from doing whatever it was, Mirror Spirit gets a new take on the path, etc).

Mission 3 intro starts describing Mirror Spirit's demeanour. If that can't be captured through the words she says, then you could put it in italics to differentiate it from her speech.
Mission 3 intro: i -> I
I'm to defeat the leader at a Legacy Chain base in the Rogue Isles. My first thought was that this would be the leader of an invading group, like Dirjact was. But Mirror Spirit seems adamant I'll be fighting Legacy Chain. Perhaps Mirror Spirit could specifically name this leader as a Legacy Chain to be a bit clearer.

Once in the mission, I encounter High Followers (group Highest). Who the heck are they? Why are they my friends? Some dialog, or their descriptions, should help me out here. I haven't played the previous arcs. All of Axe/Mace/Archer have the same description, could vary more. And they do say a few words, despite having a plate fixed over their mouth. Perhaps the description could explain that?
You might add more delirious dialog coming from Legacy Chain (patrols or bosses). Otherwise, it seems I'm gratuitously beating them up.
Tlanextic says "get out of my mind. You do not belong here" - I assume "You" is not me? Could be clearer, who is "you"?
Defeating him gives a clue. Says he died. I trust I did not kill him (I'm a hero!), perhaps you can explain why he died.
Tlanextic's Whispers Clue: I don't think 'exit' is the word you're looking for there. But I don't know the mechanism used to get the crystal into our time, so I can't suggest an alternative.

Mission 4 intro does a wonderful exposition of the power behind the baddies.
Mission 4 send off: that is keeps -> that keeps
Death Skull description: in to -> into
Nice mechanics to have villain in the final room, and requiring it to be cleared.
The return message could possibly ask me to come see Mirror Spirit in case I can help with the cleanup. Then I'd have a reason to be here for Mission 5 (which is when a problem is discovered).

And onto the fifth mission. The introduction does a great job of describing the menace, but could go a little further to highlight why this is a "Save the World" arc. How do Future Skulls threaten the world?
Into the mission, I first met an undercover squad member. This confused me, as I hadn't met regular folks. But it makes sense once I realise there's regular squad here too.
Why doesn't the Midnight Squad Researcher want to hang around to help? It says that in his description, although since he's tied up in tendrils, there's no way I can guess he doesn't want to stick around. He just asks me if I've stopped the Bride who I recall from several missions ago. But why is it saying "Last Bride"? The "last" part is never explained.
"The body of this Bride crumbles, just like the last one. Guess they were both from the future." - is this referencing a previous arc?
The Bride could have more epic dialog. Perhaps monomaniacal, world-mashing or world-ruling diatribe, make it feel like a finale.

And we're done! Thanks for the experience.

Cheers, airhead

Hi Dalghryn,

I'm not averse to the demise of two of the arc's demisens. This isn't something I've suggested, but I can see the advantages.

You'd want to keep folks who recur the most often, as each encounter provides opportunity for character development. I think I remember only meeting Blastion and Empathy once (it's been a while though). You could replace, say, Penthouse, with Empathy, to give Empathy more play time.

Isn't there also a New York Gent? My knowledge of the arc may be way out of date.

I'd ditch Penthouse (for the name), and look at how to have characters recur (which won't cost much space) and how, if at all, they could "develop" through the challenges they face, and in light of developing a rapport (or not) with the player. A consistent story is more important than the number of characters. You could evolve 5 characters, it'll just take a lot of literary work to weave most of them into each mission. For that reason, you might ditch two.

Cheers, airhead

I promise not to say anything about this arc*. I hope it's okay to point out some rare typos.

Pyrolich description: it's -> its
Chief of medicine decription: needs ? on the end
Clue Bad Drawings of Superheroes: hopsital -> hospital

* This is not feedback. Just bugs.