Ankylosaur

I have been pondering your feedback. Obviously, I can't strip out certain elements as they are an integral part of what makes it good, as you point out. Removing changes the experience and eliminates part of what's solid about it. Based on that I can only improve it in a few small areas.

Clues: you mentioned not being able to discover enough on your own. It's an important point. I had gotten feedback from the ae story team many moons ago that I had had too many clues in it, but I think I let the pendulum swing too far in the other direction and have too few. So i am willing to cut--perhaps too much.

Size of mission 1: Eryex suggested I use escorts in mission 1 to help make the glowie more easily discoverable on this vast map. I am considing a bunch of unique unguarded ghosts, ala scrapyard's pals. They all that is left of humanity, and they want to help you undo the event that got the world to this state and lead you to the crown. It personalizes the experience and reinforces the need for the character's action. I may give that a go and see if it helps with mission 1.

Mobs: it's really interesting to me how much you value fighting the mobs and getting a chance to try them out. I didn't want to overpopulate my mobs around--but I really appreciate that for you, experiencing them is a highlight that you felt cheated of. I think one thing I could do is include the Virtea in map 1, but i worry that spoils the nice inclusion later in the mission. I can add more Bosses there, as you suggested.

In the end, I can't overcome the maps, and the maps are an integral part of it, but I can try to improve the experiences in them, and in the story. I wanted to make sure you knew your feedback did not fall on deaf ears, and I am looking for ways to improve it...

I am really looking forward to your thoughts about The Serpent Beyond the Horizon. My one review on commission review for it fared better than save the diver, and I think overall Serpent is stronger--though ymmv.

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Minor updates--Tried and applied the ghosts in M1, switched out the hospital for the freak-lympics map and its sitting well. Still considering the Cimeroran caves in place of Leviathan map for improved play...

First, many thanks for the detailed and thoughtful review. I can't tell you how appreciative I am of the effort to put this together. It gives me a much needed new perspective on it and is incredibly helpful.

I have a few responses to some of the things you said and will include those below in no particular order. I'm not expecting a response, just clarifying some of my decisions and why I made them for better or worse.

MOBS
Coralax: It occurred to me that the Coralax we see are always hybrids. The "true" Coralax therefore must be a little different. I had considered using ice like you suggest, as it is water of course, but the thing about coral is that it only lives in warm waters. Coral reefs (and in my mind, therefore Coralax) are made up of millions of little creatures -- sort of a legally-not-a-coral-Shambling-Mound, if you will.

Virtea: Virtea were a late addition to the story really, yet one of the best parts of it I think. (Originally I had no customs, then started peppering them in.) The Virtea are only ever mentioned in the Coralax canon descriptions as a deep sea race the Coralax enslaved. I did move the few ice powers I had originally assigned to custom Coralax to the Virtea and considered making more ice virtea but in the end that seemed unneeded.

Freaks: The Freakshow have metal sticking out of them, and the tanks are missing part of their torso. No matter how cyber-punk that all is, it takes some major medical "hacking" to do that kind of bod mod. The only clue we get about who actually does any of this is from the Meat Doctors who appear on one island. So, since this is the right level range for them, I wanted to address that and set it all in the hospital. It's also why I added in the Bone Nurse, Juice Nurse, and Juice Doctor. I have had a few people say they expected a Freak map in M3, and I understand why, but I hoped the unexpected helped.

Allies: Faerlun was just a chance to try earth assault out and shields back when they were new, and yes, Sea Witch is custom.

MAPS
I try to carefully select maps as they set the mood and atmosphere of the entire experience. I think you are right on the money when you say that that strength of three of these maps is also a main weakness of the arc.

MISSIONS
M1: Flooded Boomtown: A wonderful map for my purpose if it were only a tenth of the size. It helps establish what you are trying to prevent. It was so devoid of personality though, I had the idea of seeding it with some of the big guns from later arcs, which also helps establish who you are up against. (This was in response to feedback from @Backfire who said not one mob said one thing on he whole map). Scrapyard and his ghost buddies help show the state of humanity too if you are a big explorer--which you are. Truthfully I never thought anyone would try to solo an EB or AV at this level, and of course they are not objectives, but I hear your point. I had considered adding some Virtea patrols in here, but decided there should be some surprises late in the game so left them where they are.

M3: Mayhem's Asylum: I used the hospital for the reasons I mentioned above. Unfortunately a lot of arcs want the mood it sets, or the space of a hospital, so what was a fairly unusual map when I put this arc together is now terribly overused and familiar. I could switch to a freak map but that seems expected and not in keeping with what I was after really.

I fixed that stacking objectives thing. Thanks for pointing that out!

M4: Primeva River: This was one of the things that inspired this arc. I remember playing this map in game with Longbow swimming around and wondering why the heck Longbow would be in the water and not flying above it. I used this map to give a place for Coralax to be in the water. The Virtea came later.

If I could make this the final map and mission I would, but you can't have allies on this map, or much of anything really, and Calystix is a bit much to solo (for most anyway ).

M5: Leviathan Cave: I hear you loud and clear. While I am willing to bear the burdens of the maps in 1 and 3, I hate the Leviathan myself. I had replaced it for awhile with some Cimeroan caves. Calystix has been around apparently since Roman times, so maybe he likes Roman-columns-that-appear-to-serve-no-structural-purpose in caves. A few of those maps even include the "pool room" where you can actually swim--a nuance that would be lost on everyone though--wish I could get him to spawn in the water.

The thing is though, the Leviathan Cave "is" his cave. It's almost hard to picture it used for anything else. Like the Freaks who appear in the hospital, if I had him in the Roman caves, everyone would ask why I did not use the Leviathan map. So, I reluctantly put it back in as the most appropriate place for him to be...

MOTIVATION
Calystix: Calystix wants what he always wants, to raise the Leviathon and punish humanity, and is generally going about it in his typical way. His new approach of an airborne coral spawn that sort of virally transforms people to Coralax Hybrids is the new twist to the story though.

D0C C0R4L and Sl4G H0Rn: They got coralaxed and either do their mater's bidding or are genuinely enamored of their transformation and the cause. I am not sure it really matters.

Contact: Elizabeth Bouchet: I understand your issue with the contact knowing as much as she does and revealing as much as she does when she does not reveal your employer. She balances the info -- she doesn't want to scare you off, but she does want to engage you with what she thinks will be motivating factors for you. She knows a lot about Coralax since she work for Barracuda. It would be hard to make some of the info she imparts discoverable in mission, and even then, I have decided that clues cannot be relied upon as so many players just don't read them, so I relied heavily on exposition. Not to say that I can't make some improvements in there… BTW, she is psychic manipulation/dark armor (just mind probe and drain psyche--hold some aggro but not be too offense oriented)

Barracuda: I decided that the deep secret Barracuda maintains is that she does not want to be Barracuda. Ultimately she would prefer to be human and go back to her roguish life of treasure hunting. She performed terrible acts as Barracuda at first because she was controlled by Calystix. She broke free of that (somehow long enough to stay away) and eventually resigned herself (publically) to playing the role of villain to stay out of prison, find an ally in Mako, and make the most of her strange lot. As a treasure hunter, she is a bit of a selfish opportunist, but not down right "evil". She would like to overthrow Calystix but can't get close to him without being taken over. She does not want her weakness (able to be controlled) to be known widely and does not want to share her real desires to be human within Arachnos for fear of being kicked out before she is ready to go. She needs the Coral Crown to protect herself from being controlled by Calystix, but can't go get it in the future because he is there and may control her. She also doesn't want to alienate the Legacy Chain because she believes she ultimately may need to appeal to their good nature to for help to transform her back to a human. So she hires someone who they will work with--someone like you--whose good reputation will get you in the door and whose desire to see right and goodness done will carry you to the end.

TIDBITS
Water: Do you remember that poll 100 years ago on the forums when the devs asked us to vote for other zones? I voted for the Moon and Underwater thinking the change in physics would be a nice nuance. I have always wanted to believe the Coralax and Virtea were in place to help take advantage of that Underwater wish of mine, but it's probably all in my head. Regardless, where there is some water, I wanted to set the Coralax in it, and that is Flooded Boomtown and that Primeva map.

Time Travel: The whole "saving the future in the future" is a bit overwrought in this, but it came from my desire to let this arc work in your character's history even if you encounter Barracuda later, so that you don't feel like she should be your best bud. It opened up a way to use that Boomtown map too.

IN CLOSING
Thanks for taking the time for the detailed review. I was surprised that the story, ideas, or customs did not edge me up to one four somewhere in the list, but I am also glad the stars are not handed out willy-nilly. If anything of mine ever gets a 5, I know it was not awarded without careful consideration and will carry with it a weighty significance.

Unfortunately, I am not sure there is a great deal that is actionable, except maybe working on the Contact text and making a few things more discoverable. But I will noodle on it and see if I can improve any of it, though as you say it's "strengths are in many senses working against it." And I don't want to remove its strengths.

I look forward to future reviews and will have even more arcs that can benefit from your detailed attention soon!

In addition to Save the Diver, Save the World in my sig, I've added The Serpent Beyond the Horizon (also in my sig) to cohmissionreview.com.

I am sure it too can benefit from your attentions and insights. It's final also, though i do make the occasional pass looking for errant typos.

I just added save the diver, save the world (in sig) to commissionreview and would love your stream of consciousness review. It is "final" though always open to improvements and refinements!

Congrats to TeChameleon for the best of last year and to Jawshco for your recent win! I look forward to trying out your arcs.

To kick off the March contest, I thought I would submit one I had previously: Condemning Croatoa--245534. I wrote this originally with the goal of having none of that scary orange text with warnings about AVs etc. in the AE description. I thought that might encourage people to play it.

Well two and a half years and a scant 10 plays and 4 stars later I guess its safe to conclude that an absence of orange text does not in and of itself encourage play.

So, I dressed it up with all sorts of orange texty things that were more fun for me to include in an attempt to make it a more exciting experience. It's significantly enhanced since I last submitted it with all sort of things, such as
- A new canon contact who is more integrated into the plot and story.
- Dynamically evolving missions.
- Extended canon mobs.
- Custom canon AVs.
- A GM that you can solo and beat! (really!)

As with all my stuff its made with the soloer in mind and includes allies for those tough fights and to add some in-mission flavor and company...

Hope you all have fun with it and that it's as fun to play as it was to to work on!

If you look at some of the stickied threads and browse around the forums, there are several lists that highlight arcs for different reasons. Some are personal lists of likes, others are compiled from feedback (like the thank god it's Thursday thread), others are contest winners, and some separate out by red/blue side and or level.

If you are looking for a story at the levels you mentioned, and don't mind the EB or AV thing as long as you have in mission allies to help you, then you might enjoy the save the diver arc in my sig. It might be a little too much of a bookend series of missions for you though--it does not have any fancy mechanics in it, but it does extend some standard groups, and introduce a new one. A few question if it's heroic too...

Good arc hunting!

Wow and hurray! I am honored to have won.

Rularularian was a lot of fun to write--it's great to know that others think it's fun to play. Thanks again for hosting these contests. It's wonderful to be assured that I have an audience!

One is bemused! One is but left to but wonder how one is to elicit such musings about one's own meager forays in storytelling.

To kick off January submissions, I'd like to submit my latest arc: #529832 Rularularian.

Though it took a few unexpected turns while pulling it together, I feel like this story came together nicely!

Hope you all enjoy taking it for a spin!

So many things to reply to...

1. Congrats to @Tubbius!

2. That's quite a list - thanks for putting it together and adding it to the "Thank Goodness its Mission Architect Thursday" thread...

3. A bonus contest--most exciting! You all go above and beyond!

I used colors extensively in my latest arc. (Rularularian in my sig)

I have several different characters helping to unveil the story (sort of a group of contacts) and color coding their dialog was a great way to help distinguish who was speaking and to help the player keep them all straight. This guide helped me identify my options, though it took a lot of experimentation to figure out which colors worked well in the contact dialog.

Because of that, I actually ended up changing some of the character's costumes so that there was a way to visually associate the character to the text color.

Couldn't have done it without your guide, so thanks for putting it together!

I'm eager for Time Manipulation to give to Montague of the Midnighters.

Thanks for the response.

I worked it out--all my fault--i was not launching the game with OS write permissions...

Silly moi...

I am having an issue where none of the changes I am making to my customs are taking. It says they are applied when I am in the editor, but when I come back after logging off, they are reverted to how they were.

This applies to power set choices and costume choices.

Is this a known issue? Are there any known fixes?

I still refer to this color guide, bumping this great resource...

Congrats to all the nominees and winners!

I love playing your arcs and aspire to do as well!

Wow and hurray! And thanks for the many congrats too!

I'm really honored to have won--I know there were a lot of great arcs this month. I'm also happy that you all found it fun and involving too--I felt this one came together really well, but it's nice to know that others enjoyed it too.

Thank you all for runniing this contest every month--it's a generous thing you do here, and gives us all something to aspire to!

Played through the prelude and Chapter 1 tonight. VERY impressive with a rich story, great customs and great mechanics, and the cut scenes really take it over the top.

Going to dig into that side arc some time too.

Great stuff! I encourage everyone to give it a go...

Looking forward to Chapter 2!

With how often Mayhem's Hospital is used, it seems like an array of hospital maps (ala office or warehouse) would be handy for regular missions and AE.

Wish there were more outdoor shard maps too--like some of the mission maps used in some of the villain missions.

I found the AE Storyteam's feedback on save the diver invaluable--if you ever have a "origin story" or "Cimoran times" theme, I would love to have your feedback for The Serpent Beyond the Horizon (in my sig)

Thanks so much for supporting arc authoring and providing such useful and actionable feedback.

Yay, it's November, and I have an arc ready for your consideration. Hope you guys enjoy it!

#515140 The Serpent Beyond the Horizon - a Serpent story for Heroes levels 46-52

Humphrey Basingwaithe of the Midnight Squad believes he knows where the Mercy Island Snakes come from. Travel back to Cimerora to help him test his theory! (SFMA - This story has been designed to be soloed with the provided allies.)

Congrats!