Aisynia

No it isn't.

I don't know why people think this, when it has been stated they have "come back to our time". I'm not sure where Ouroboros is, but I'm pretty sure it isn't in the future.

Is that Michael Shanks in your icon, or someone who looks like him?

......

I read that as "Atlantis Underwear Zone".

.......

I know, I'm just being a pain in the butt

Sweet!

C'Kelkah confirms to you what the Heretic said, that these are Meta-Rikti, and that the Restructurists are using meta-human DNA to augment their powers, to find a way to better fight us in the war.

From here on in, you'll be unraveling the Restructurist plot involving the Meta-Rikti, and trying to put a stop to the Meta-Rikti in general. Without spoiling too much however, I will say this is one of the few arcs I've played that allows for a serious moral choice at the end, one that is handled much better than simply letting a mission timer run out. A very nice touch.

Overall, the mission design was spot on, and the map choice was pretty darned good. In fact, the second map was so full of atmosphere, I was extremely impressed. There are however, issues with that mission that I'm gonna point out in the spoiler section below. They aren't major though, not enough to ding the rating of this arc.

The dialogue is also largely, very excellent, I especially like listening to a Rikti contact I can understand. It was very elegantly handled. There are a couple of plot twists that.. while I wouldn't say are especially twisty, are twisty enough to keep you snagged into the arc. There's a very real sense of rising action from one mission to another, and that is always something I look for.

A good narrative relies on proper rising action, and a slow reveal of the larger inner workings of the plot. Some of it is revealed a bit too fast.. but as those are revealed, other mysteries pop up, so that ends up working in its favor.

That said, there are a couple of issues with the arc, and they are mostly mechanical in nature.. and unfortunately, I'm not sure just how much can be alleviated by the author. That said, these issues don't really hamper the story except for in one instance, which I will mention in the spoiler section below. In fact, it's a large part of what kept it from being a true 100% affirmed 5 star to me

Ultimately, I rated 5 stars in game because I liked it and I had a lot of fun, but I still think there is room for improvement, which is why it got a 4 star here. While I don't pretend to know what's going on in the author's mind, or to pretend I know better than he does, I do feel there are a couple spots that could be improved or touched up that would make this a really serious must play.

If you're looking for a good story involving Rikti internal politics, and you also want to be given a choice.. a REAL moral dilemma, then definitely play this arc. It comes recommended, I think you should enjoy yourself

So 4.5/5 stars. Play it and have fun.


Specific feedback (spoilers, intended mostly to help the author):

Okay, well, I want to say that I loved the second mission. It was short and sweet, and had an amazing atmosphere, I was very pleased to see that the turrets spawned on that map to help repel the Rikti, giving it a serious battlefield feel, and your actual battle spawns gave it an even deeper atmosphere. However, there are two issues on this map that I felt detracted from the smoothness of the gameplay on the map.

First: Rhodes. Specifically, the nav bar simply says to "find the vanguard soldier" or some such, but there are TONS of generic NPCs named "Vanguard Soldier" all over the map. I strongly recommend to actually list his name in the nav bar, like "Find Rhodes" or something.

Also, I played through this arc twice, and I noticed this issue twice in a row.. the Rikti Scientist attacks the base and gets his rear end shot off by the turrets. The turrets will actually completely solve the objective for you, because hs spawns at the base, and then attacks it, and gets killed. I don't think you can really prevent this while keeping him an enemy. The only option in my mind to keep the atmosphere in the mission and maintain the integrity of this mission goal is instead to make him an Ally that you need to "capture" and lead to the mission exit. Make it so that he is non-combat, and is "Guarded" by some of his friends, whom you take out. Having effectively captured him, you can then take him in to the base personally. This also means that even if the turrets take out his guards, you can still "pick him up" and lead him out, allowing the player directly solve the objective. He spawned pretty close to the base, so a single escort in the entire arc shouldn't be an issue IMO.

Remember, it's just a suggestion, and I am not pretending to be the Word of God here, and you have to do things how you see fit, as the author.

Okay, now, on the matter of the Embryos in the third mission. This left me somewhat confused. This did not detract from the rating, and I admit to being dense, but something got me here. Rikti are born human, so any embryos would be human embryos. C'Kelkah refers to them as "Rikti Embryos", so I was like "wait, bwuh?" and then, later, the arc specifically mentions "They start as human". So I imagine you mean that, even if they are human embryos (or embryos modified to be Meta-Rikti) that they still "belong" to Rikti society? Either.. this needs clarifying.. or I'm just really dense.. >.> <.<

Okay and here is what really got me and while I can't point to one specific thing and say "this is why it's not a 5" because the rating is based on my overall feelings, if I had to, this would be it. You find the box, and it's enchanted so that the player cannot even talk about it. Now I understand that you have to find some way to get the player to not talk about it to C'Kelkah, since you don't have multiple chocie on mission acceptance, but this really bugged me a lot. A lot. Okay so I played on my Technology Stalker. But what if I played on my Magic Blaster? She's a freakin Archmage. She is a character so powerful, and so power hungry, that there are unseen and terrible consequences to having those powers (hey no spoilers on her ). There is no reason that she, or other powerful mage characters like her (played by other people) should not be able to shrug this curse or spell off and tell C'Kelkah anyways, if they wanted to.

It's a plot device, and while I recognize the need to have one here, it just doesn't feel right at all. I don't like it, I really don't. It's being forced on the player in a very overt manner. If you choose to change this, I would gladly help you brainstorm on a more elegant solution. I got nothin' as it stands, but I would gladly help you anyways.

Also, on the issue of the note, I think it could use some clarifying, as it sorta confused me, and I didn't really understand what he was trying to say until I talked to C'Kelkah. Remember, I'm sorta dense though. This is from my notes I took as I played:

"The letter confuses me a little bit too, I think he needs to clarify somewhat on what base he is going to and what exactly he is going to do to cause what to be set back. I have no idea what he's trying to tell me."

I didn't understand what he meant until I talked to the contact herself.

Finally, the last mission. Nice, small map, good atmosphere with all the battles, but two small problems.

First, I felt Rhodes' dialogue was a bit too expositionary and overt. His monologue really seems artificial, and he's saying stuff the player kinda knows anyways, so if you can smooth it out a bit, go ahead.

Second issue.. well it's kinda my fault See, he runs at about 25% health, and if you let him get to the exit, you "Fail" the mission, having taken his side on the moral dilemma. Well with my difficulty settings, he spawned as an LT, meaning, I had to cherry tap him to get him to not die horribly (especially considering my Stalker nature, as I had to unhide so I didn't crit him to death).

Well another issue, related to me being a stalker, is that I chose to let him run, but I had stealthed past everything in the mission on my way to him, and he got shot up and died on the way out because of this, and I didn't get to make my choice as a result. This didn't detract from the rating at all, but if this seems like an issue to you that you want to fix, feel free to find a way to do it.

NOT related to my stalker nature, when I got to him, I was invisible and watched him fight patrols. Patrols came right up on him, and while he won hands down, it concerned me that he might not always be so lucky. I don't know what to do about this, I know you wanted to keep this mission easy, but making him an EB might solve a lot of issues. People can now set not to fight EBs while solo and he will spawn as a boss instead, making him much more survivable, while still soloable by 99.9999999% of players.

You can look into this and playtest this if you want. Remember, these are not demands, and I didn't feel this detracted from the rating, but I like the idea of a moral dilemma and how you handled it, and I think you might want to take steps to further ensure players always have the chance to make that decision - I'm just not 100% on what the most elegant solution would be. Of course, you can also do a variant on what I did for the 4th mission of my Aru Prime arc.

In that arc, I use a map that has a wierd layout, and so I mentioned that Intel said to cover the map in a very certain way, to help the player out. Mentioning in the popup that C'Kelkah or Rhodes said to clear out the bad guys before facing Rhodes himself is one option as well.

Either way Mekkanos, I liked your arc a lot This is just a quick pile of constructive feedback, areas I think you can improve your arc, as requested.

End spoilers.


Again 4.5/5, a well crafted story, and even with its minor areas where it could use some polish, definitely a must play

There are cute, small moments and details all over the place like this. I love it! If an author can make me smile, that's a good, good thing.

Other pros include not just excellent map choice and mission design, but a clear sense of rising action and what you are doing. You are never misled by the contact or the details on the compass. Nothing is ever remotely vague and trying to keep you guessing. The author tells you exactly what you have to do, on no uncertain terms, and while there's nothing wrong with being more vague about it.. I just liked this. A lot. She uses several largish maps, so knowing exactly what you're there for allows you to complete the missions very, very quickly if that's what you want.

The custom enemy group is detailed and interesting. They all have unique bios, looks, and powers that make sense, and made me want to actually stop and read up on them. They weren't overpowered, but they weren't pushovers. They were just right.


Lastly, while some might see it as a series of fetch quests, there is a clear sense of rising action as you learn all of what MAL has his hands into, though I felt the full 100% reveal near the end was jarring at first, I've played through this a few times now, and understand why it was done like that.

The cons on this story (as opposed to the pros) are largely things outside the authors control right now. There are details that I think should be filled in, and I think she would like to, but simply can't because she's bumping her head on that 100kb wall. Even given this, the narration is clear and you aren't ever left confused, I just wish there was more room to expand on the background story a bit more.

So yeah, four out of five stars. I rated 5 in game and 4 here because.. honestly? I don't know how to rate this.

I liked it a lot, and I had fun. It was a quick romp through time travel memory lane, and helping take down a real jerk with a nice person.

I had fun.

Check first post for my queue

I think that's over-complicating things. It's not a bad idea, I just have a feeling it would be easier to let us recycle them, as there's already a mechanism to do this.

Fixed the link for mine.