Crisis Of Infinite Steelclaws

So I had been considering the whole concept of Praetoria, Portal Corps and all the myriad variations of Earth out there in the multi-verse when it hit me...

If there are an infinity of variations of Earth Prime, then there are an infinity of Steelclaws. Now, while there are bound to be certain minor changes of personality in my alternates (megalomania, robotic body, political leanings, etc) their core personality should remain more or less constant... that is they should all be wise-a**es with a faulty brain-to-mouth filter.

So I fired up my handy-dandy Clairvoyeur Machine... which I use mostly to monitor the hygene habits ... errr... "well-being" of certain super models, and checked in on some of my other versions.

You can imagine my surprise to find myself catching the last few minutes of their lives. More specifically I caught several Steelclaw alternate's famous "last words"... Here are a few:

* "Hey, Thor! Long time no see. How dost thine hammer hang?"

* "Whoa Hulk! I see you finally burst ALL the way out of those pants. Hmmm. So the whole body expansion thing isn't proportional ALL over, huh?"

* "Yeah, I guess I should be proud to be a member of the whole 'Glorious Empire' and such, but I find it hard to get excited about following a Sith Lord who looks like a Goth wanna-be and sounds like an asthmatic on his last legs... erk... gack!"

* "Yes Sir! Captain Kirk, sir! I would love to go planet-side with you. And let me just say how much of an honor it is that you chose a lowly red-shirt like me to accompany you on this dangerous mission. Er, why are you smirking like that?"

* "I have something to confess, Ghost Widow.... I love you! My heart burns for you and you alone! If only there were a way we could truly be together! What do you mean there is one way? Ummm... why is Wretch cracking his knuckles like that?"

* "Ack! Two words, Mako... just two words: Breath Mints."

* "Galactacus... Jillian Michaels. Jillian Michaels... Galactacus."

* "Okay Joker... I have to admit defeat... you won our practical joke war... now could you please hand me my spleen?"

* "So over Batman's shoulder I saw Green Arrow and Plastic Man walking up to us. I get an idea and start talking in an overly loud voice: 'For the last time NO Batman... I don't want to be your boy wonder, I'm not at all interested in having your bat pole anywhere NEAR me nor do I want to explore your bat cave. Now if you don't stop asking me I'm going to have to talk to the JLA council about a harrassment suit!' Plas and Arrow were rolling with laughter by the time I was done. Bats just walked off. Umm... why aren't you laughing? And why are you staring past my left shoulder like that?"

* "The itsy-bitsy spider on a mission was sent out... Ran into a hero and it became a rout... Down went Arachnos writhing all in pain... Then the itsy-bitsy spider went to the Zig again..." (sung while walking the streets of Grandville)

* "Captain Jack Harkness? My name's Steelclaw. So, I hear they say you can't die. Yeah, right. Tell you what, I challenge you to a dying contest. We'll take turns... you first."

* "Elm Street? Nice neighborhood. But I'm tired from moving in.... think I'll take a nap."

* "Hey, name's Steelclaw... Silver Mantis? Pleased to meet you. Yeah, I guess I am looking for a good time. What? Well, I've never really thought of it before... but I guess I DO look pretty sturdy."

* "Lord Nemesis, over the past several days you have put Mirrors on the dias beneath Miss Liberty's feet... replaced all of Synapse's espresso supply with decaf... forced Sister Psyche's powers to 'broadcast' mode and then got the Hamster Dance song stuck in her head... installed a device in Positron's armor that makes any radiation emission be accompanied by a 'fart' sound effect and plant the back of Statesman's head not covered by his half-mask with Ch-ch-ch-chia grass... I see by the look of dawning horror on your face that you at last realize the truth... yes, Lord Nemesis, you have been the victim of a Steelclaw Plot."

Infinite Steelclaws == Infinite Lists!! Infinite Win!!

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Biggest Troll on the forums? I'll give you a hint:

But what if they were infinitely strangled in their infinite cribs? Then what?

Didn't the Praetorian Steelclaw die as a happy greeting card writer?

And wasn't there a Steelclaw with extraordinarily large pectorals?

Dang, I dunno... I can't keep up with all of those infinite worlds...