Non-Mundane Monday at the Rookery

*walks in, sets up for tomorrow morning*

There we go. Now off to bed.

*heads back the hall to his room*

Moo?

I get the feeling that something is ... off. *puzzles*

*pours a bowl of Raisin Bran Crunch*

Ugh I'm tired. Also, screw Sidney Crosby. I hate him on the Pens, and now I hate him on team Canada.

Oh yeah, how'd that puck hunting game thingy go? I've fortunately managed to avoid all television coverage of the Olympic stuff.

Pfft. We all said that the end of the world was coming when Atlanta won the World Series in 1995-

And who knows, in 4 more years, maybe it will be the US' turn....(passes lattes all round, and puts up a basket of pastries and fruit.)

*crawls in and collapses*

Hi. Kill me now, please.

*BLAM!*

That'll teach that lamp.

Do you want the short list or the long list?

The short list is I'm horribly depressed, feeling near suicidal again. My life feels like a cruel joke and it hurt so hard every day. Money being so tight certainly doesn't help either, and so often I feel like I'm drowning alone. The hormones playing yo yo with my emotions doesn't help either.

*scritches kitteh*

Sorries to here it Neko. Just remember, its mind over hormones. Somtimes. Er...

*hugs*

Anyway, a hurried good morning all. leaving for a work trip in a couple hours, will stop by later tonight hopefully.

Thank you, Demoncaller. I don't know if you ever saw my confessional before, but I am transsexual. So yes, there is something very wrong physically. I was born with a boy's body. I'm on hormones now, so I'm basically going through a second puberty, which is why my emotions are all out of sorts.

I would like to make an appointment to see my therapist... but refer to my earlier comment about not having any money. With all my extra expenses, I'm really having a hard time just keeping my bills and such paid off, without adding more on besides. I am making it, just. But it is stressful, and more so because there are so many other things I need to do that I just can't do without money. Hair removal, new clothes, seeing doctors...

And I'm feeling cut off from my support groups lately. Either they are to busy with their lives, they don't want to deal with TG issues at this time. Or they are to busy with the upside. And I feel like I don't want to intrude with my problems. And every time I'm out in public and get 'sir'ed, or see HIM in my mirror, a little more inside me dies and it hurts so much.

All I want is to be normal, or at least be comfortable in my own skin. But I have to fight, and claw, and pay so much emotionally, physically and financially just to have the most basics of what other girls are given for free. And even then, people don't want to accept it. It's just... so hard, so painful that even though I know in my mind I can get through it. Other people have and have gone on to live happy lives, and ever TG person goes through this. My mind knows this, and it's what keeps me going and keeps me from stepping in front of a bus. But my heart hurts so much from it.

Kitteh, when my life gets bumpy and I am feeling the bluez, my Momma alwayz sez to me "Don't worry, this too shall pass. Until then, stay close." You will make it through this rough patch in your life, Kitteh. Just stay close and hang on! We are here for you! *hugglez da kitteh*

Dis is a no kitteh zone -.- <writes tickets>

Hallo all

NEKO: Youse is never alone if here, we can support you if nothing else. Just make sure your Estrada is not interfering (if you do the pills) things.

-C.A.

*hugs VexXxa* Thanks hon.

Estrada Cap? The only Estrada I know is Erik... And good to see you again, it has been a while.

Food is onnnnn!!! Come and get eettttt!!
*the aroma of the yummeh BACON n' eggz fills the Rookery. Da Kitteh gets some extra bacon*

Thanks, the spell checker killed my post :P

Estradial if I recall is the low level hormone pill, unless your more advanced and are injecting things into you now? My mother was a diversity manager so I know alot about alternative lifestyles, obscure lifestyles and not-taught-in-school-lifestyles.

If you get too bad you call someone too, there are phone numbers that can give you a safe enviroment for the night. o.o

-C.A.

Wow I have been gone a bit, we have someone who can generate food at will?! :P

-C.A.

Estradiol, yes. I am on those, and in pill form. My reactions and emotional mood swings are normal for this sort of treatment. Which isn't surprising, since I'm basically shaking up my whole hormonal balance from what it's used to. I have only been on them for two months now, and in another four I go back in to the doctor for a check up to see how I'm doing on them. I have no idea how I'll pay for that though at this point. At least the higher than normal winter bills will be over.

And we have our chefbots to make us whatever foods we like, whenever we like them.

I did miss that post, Neko, but it doesn't matter if you are transgendered or whatever, we are here for you. I can tell you are well loved, and we will be here for you...



My grandmother used to tell me, "If there is nothing else you can do, you abide..." which I think was her way of saying, "This, too, shall pass."

The good times will come again. You just have to believe it. And call your support group...let them know what is going on with you..They may just not know how to approach you or even know about your problems.

See if your therapist will consider a sliding fee for you, based on your present income.

And ignore the ones who call you 'Sir'. They can't see the real you.

Well, my therapist does charge me a sliding fee. However, right now 'free' is all that I can afford, and he's not likely to accept that.

And I know why people 'sir' me. I know what I look like, even if I hate it. And friends do say once they are around me they see the real me. It's just the initial reaction people have. And it's not like I am going out dressed that much yet, the best I can maybe work towards is being slightly androgynous in appearance. I know all the reasons why. And not one of those reasons makes it hurt any less when a stranger sees me as a guy...

I do thank you all for your kindness and support though. It means a lot to me.

You can get through it Neko you always seemed like a good person and hopefully your money problems wont be as bad i know i hate my money problems when they come up so good luck just hang in there

and if it helps i always thought you were a girl