Two Tickets to Westerly (arc 374002) [Dr. Aeon's Second Challenge]

I like TZ best for the villain nickname.

OK, looks like TZ is the winner for a new nickname for the boss.

Changes made

1. "Panty" changed to "TZ" throughout the arc.

2. Added "Tzompantli's Curse" as a clue on defeat of the boss in mission 4. It's not super-creative as curses go, but figured it's meant to just communicate a moment of snarling defiance from the defeated boss.

3. Marked the arc "Final" since that seems to be the thing to do for submissions.


Thanks a ton for all the feedback! It has helped a lot.

Review done as part of the CoHMR Aggregator Project.

@GlaziusF

Playing this one on a single-digit energy/FF defender, with the old "heroic" settings.

Romance tag, huh? Let's see.

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Get somebody out of a gang. Alright, that's a good low-level objective.

Wow. They cleaned this place up pretty well for an abandoned warehouse. I didn't think Skulls were this concerned with hygiene.

And there's one of 'em now, getting his Dyne on. It goes boom.

I find some guy named "Toothbreaker Jones" who seems chatty up front. He drops Bonebreaker's name but I only associate it with the person I was looking for a few minutes later. Maybe you should put "Bonebreaker" in quotes into the nav bar, instead of Roy.

You should probably tweak the description on these Dyne labs, though, since in the MA they don't recharge your blue bar.

Marrowsnap talks about Bonebreaker already running off. I guess he had a lot of things to take care of before he talked to his girl? Wonder who this TZ is, though -- the Petroviches head up the Skulls, so it's not their initials.

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People LARPing in the steam tunnels. Oh lord. This is gonna be a trip.

Got my Lesser Missile Swarms all prepped and ready, so down I go.

Steam tunnels aren't actually sewers. They're subterranean conduits carrying steam pipes and other utility conduits, with enough room for people to walk among them for maintenance.

(also there was never actually a dude LARPing in the steam tunnels. Some PI had that as a working hypothesis, and the kid asked him not to reveal the truth since he was really just looking for somewhere out-of-the-way to kill himself.)

Lots of CoT, but I'm not seeing anybody else.

Wha? Hordelings? Is this a custom group of CoT? I'm not used to seeing them heroside.

(hilariously there's a lasher holding a torch with his NO HANDS)

Finally I get some conversation in and around the boss room. Yeah, the CoT going after LARPers definitely makes sense in this range, where the perception is they're still a cult.

For dramatic purposes I guess it's alright to have Joe and his buddies keep their brains instead of going to live inside tiny crystals for the rest of eternity. But Joe's death scream doesn't really work since his last acts were to hypnotize me and then self-destruct.

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Man, never make friends with geeks. They'll stick with you through thick and thing but then stab you in the back for a plastic model.

Anyway, here we go into -- Oranbega?! Man, they just keep bringing this place up earlier and earlier. I know you hate the blue caves with a passion but they are where the Circle kick around in lower levels. Maybe you could even use the Roman caves or something like that.

I rescue an average Joe (well, an average Brad) from his mystic prison -- is there some reason Captured (Floating Struggle) wasn't available? That's the stock Circle capture animation.

And then I find a Janet. ...is there a succubus named Magenta somewhere deeper down here?

Tarsis? The name's familiar for some reason. Is he the one that ran off with the Jewel of Hera?

Finally I think I see the guy I came for. Wow, that's a long description on him, but I can't say it's not relevant. Anyway, I came in just in time for the CoT to have pulled the darkness out of him.

Though I wonder why he wanted to get rid of it? Make a clean break? It's not like the powers of darkness wouldn't be, how you say, useful in the future.

Then again, maybe the Skull version of them does something to you. Something terrible.

Hmm. Interesting narrative, but I'm never really comfortable with a contact going missing. There's always something in the back of my head saying "but you're right there, I'm talking to you".

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Also kind of hilarious to see Nadya's face when Roy's talking to me.

Anyway, gang building on fire, and I spring Roy, who's a Willpower/Baseball Mace custom.

Ah. That's TZ. I can see why they call her that. Zombies/DB is pretty beefy, especially since the zombies fixate on Roy and I want to see him survive this, so I spend a lot of time force bolting her aside and focusing on the zombies. Eventually I say screw it, though, and just blast her.

And there's a happy ending. Hooray.

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Storyline - ****. Leaving the "Spirit Thorns do not work that way" business aside, there isn't much to find wrong with this story. But one thing I couldn't figure out is why TZ specifically was interested in keeping Roy around. The Skulls don't seem to be a very tight-knit gang, and even if they were TZ doesn't strike me as much of a management cog interested in keeping the team together. Bone Daddies aren't exactly in short supply, after all, so Roy is replaceable.

So here's a thought: TZ is using her Aztec magic to make her own cadre of Aztec-flavored Skulls, and either Roy would be an ideal candidate since he's got Aztec blood in him somewhere, or he's already part of it and that's why he's desperate enough to turn to the CoT to get the ancient blood-starved warrior out of himself.

Design - ****. The sewers and Oranbega don't exactly fit the setups given for them (this is really just my personal preference to keep Oranbega as a big reveal) but I can see what you were going for in both cases.

Just as an aside, that room with the little temple is more visually impressive when you have to get to it by running over the bridge and into the mouth, rather than when you come into it from the side and sneak around the back. I don't know if there's a reasonably-structured and -sized map that does that, though.

Gameplay - ****. Multiple bosses in a given map are a little much at lowbie levels, but aside from that the gameplay was pretty smooth. No backtracking or wandering around confused.

If you take the suggestion about TZ making custom Skulls you can put a custom lieut in instead of the first Bone Daddy in maps 1 and 4.

Detail - *****. Aside from the oddness with Dyne labs not actually buffing recovery in the MA, the descriptions were all fairly solid and everything came across pretty clearly.

Overall - ****. A solid but not spectacular low-level arc, and worth the time playing. (also it was about one level's worth of XP)

Changes made as a result of feedback:

* Raised the level range to 5-12 (was 5-10), due to the contest being over and multiple feedbacks complaining that the level was too low. This is admittedly a pretty small level bump; I originally wanted to raise the cap to 14 (the Skulls maximum), but in testing I found that 12 is the highest I could raise the level cap before CoT would start spawning ghosts, who I think are a little too nasty for lowbies to fight (due to their debuffs).

* Renamed "Marrowsnap" to be "Totenkopf". This is in response to two player comments that Marrowsnap is too important in the Skulls organization to be used the way he is in my story. Changed all Marrowsnap references to Totenkopf.

* Created a "Corrupted LARPers" custom faction for mission 2; it contains no custom mobs, merely a subset of humanoid CoT models with one Warrior swordsman added for fun. (I briefly tried adding a Luddite Friar as a "cleric" but decided this wasn't really supported by the story.) Addresses two concerns: avoids spawning Hordelings in mission 2, and solves the problem of mission 2's dialog being out of character for the proper Circle of Thorns (both comments made by a reviewer). One possible concern I have with these guys, however, is that they might be a little too silly. If I get enough feedback to that effect, I may change them back to regular CoT.

My feedback log since Wednesday:

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[Tell] @D: Feedback on Architect Mission Two Tickets to Westerly: As usual for you, nice and solid. It was a little cookie cutter CoH IMHO, but that doesn't make it a good run. Just a couple very tiy nits. Coming from the king of elipses himself, this may be the pot calling the kettle black, but I'm thinking you're a little heavy on them in the first intro. Also, in Joe's clue, I'd suggest replacing "hitting" with "hurting." Some heroes don't hit. They find a way around it or let someone else do the fisticuffs. Still, five stars worth.

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[Tell] @c: Feedback on Architect Mission Two Tickets to Westerly: well deserving of Dev Choice. played arc with 3 scrappers. fun

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[Tell] @T: Feedback on Architect Mission Two Tickets to Westerly: Well done.

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[MA Arc Finder]W: It was kind of rough to play Lolbat after Two Tickets. [MA Arc Finder]W: Like getting up from a bath and tripping into a dumpster. [MA Arc Finder]PW: I'm baffled by this comment but will assume it is a good thing

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[Tell] @S: Feedback on Architect Mission Two Tickets to Westerly: Really fun story. I liked the special boss, TZ, and the larpers were hilarious! Excellent work!

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[Tell] 2010-03-11 12: 40:37 Message From @S: Feedback on Architect Mission Two Tickets to Westerly: good arc hope it won something

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[Tell] @m: Feedback on Architect Mission Two Tickets to Westerly: 5 stars! would play again!

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[Tell] 2010-03-11 21: 35:21 Message From @I: Feedback on Architect Mission Two Tickets to Westerly: For some reason, I'm most amused by the fact that Assassins and Thieves in the second mission look exactly the same. Good, well-written arc and perfect for lowbies. Good job.

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[Tell] @A: Feedback on Architect Mission Two Tickets to Westerly: Excellent job PW [Tell] @S: Feedback on Architect Mission Two Tickets to Westerly: That was a fantastic story. Very touching. The part about Kings Row, COT, and heroes really struck a chord. The LARPers were very creative. I was glad to help Nadya and Roy start a new life (and tell Nadya that cigarettes are bad for the baby). @A and I are RPers and stories like this are fantastic.

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[Tell] @J: Feedback on Architect Mission Two Tickets to Westerly: Brilliant, but also brilliantly easy.

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[Tell] @B: Feedback on Architect Mission Two Tickets to Westerly: Great job PW, well deserved DC. I was actually able to run it solo with my lvl 2 blaster vs bosses (ended up lvl 4.) I liked the simple introduction of Skulls, CoT and Oranbega...nice fit into continuity.

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[Tell] 2010-03-12 07: 31:48 Message From @S: Feedback on Architect Mission Two Tickets to Westerly: Played solo with level 8 and had no serious problems, so while challenging, you struck a good balance. Great arc, tight plot and interesting story. Creative elements (the LARP group was a nice touch). I was glad you didn't kill off the girl at the end.

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[Tell] 2010-03-12 08: 12:11 Message From @G: Feedback on Architect Mission Two Tickets to Westerly: I loved the story. Cracked up when the boss yelled, "Dammit, not again!" Very entertaining.

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[Tell] 2010-03-12 08: 33:57 Message From @N: Feedback on Architect Mission Two Tickets to Westerly: Good stuff here. I truly enjoyed this. Thanks.

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[Tell] @C: Feedback on Architect Mission Two Tickets to Westerly: Very fun to play, well done!

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[Tell] 2010-03-13 07: 43:35 Message From @D: Feedback on Architect Mission Two Tickets to Westerly: Delightful arc. I will never go. hunt. kill skulz. in quite the same way again. Plus you win the Dallas James Egbert III Award for "Best Use of LARPers in Steam Tunnels'.

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[Tell] 2010-03-13 10: 52:41 Message From @S: Feedback on Architect Mission Two Tickets to Westerly: You are the arch-mage of awesome! ... best line ever Well done.

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[Tell] @M: Feedback on Architect Mission Two Tickets to Westerly: very awesome dude,thanks for making this!

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[Tell] @q: Feedback on Architect Mission Two Tickets to Westerly: very well planned and produced. humor and romance plus a dash of drama. all in all a great arc and a true use of the AE.

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[Tell] @V: Feedback on Architect Mission Two Tickets to Westerly: Nicely written.

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[Tell] 2010-03-14 06: 11:09 Message From @E: Feedback on Architect Mission Two Tickets to Westerly: >_> Your arc just gave me a level 12 Karma -KB IO Recipe. Story was well-written, and the CoT and Skulls melted before our Dark/Dark Emp/Dark duo

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[Tell] 2010-03-14 07: 46:52 Message From @E: Feedback on Architect Mission Two Tickets to Westerly: A simple yet well constructed (and well written) story. Bravo!

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[Tell] @F: Feedback on Architect Mission Two Tickets to Westerly: Great low level arc, loved the Rocky Horror reference in mission 3.

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[Tell] 2010-03-14 17: 37:30 Message From @F: Feedback on Architect Mission Two Tickets to Westerly: great combo of humor and pathos in this arc

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[Tell] 2010-03-14 18: 11:33 Message From @M: Feedback on Architect Mission Two Tickets to Westerly: I like. Heartwarming. Neat. The LARPers could use some custom colors but I like.

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[Tell] 2010-03-14 19: 32:15 Message From @S: Feedback on Architect Mission Two Tickets to Westerly: Well done friend... very solid low level arc... my only minor suggestion (that probably only I think is fuuny) if you have the room the arc for 1 new enemy type in the LARP enemy group add a guy with floppy ears, named only 'Elf'...

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[Tell] @K: Feedback on Architect Mission Two Tickets to Westerly: Very hero, very fun

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[Tell] 2010-03-15 16: 20:10 Message From @R: Feedback on Architect Mission Two Tickets to Westerly: This is better than most of the in-game arcs. Nice job.

Thanks for all the support!

All well deserved support. I can here people cheering in the background.

Yay, mentioned in a "Choose My Adventure" article on Massively.com. The author has nice things to say about Mission Architect in general, also. Hope it draws some interest to Mission Architect.

This was one of the first MA arcs I played.

This contributed to my early belief that people looking for "AE teams" were RPers who wanted to do cool stories together.