If I had a nickel for every Issue that "killed" CoH, I'd have...*counts*...sixteen nickels. Sorry--did I mess this one up?
If I had a nickle for everytime somebody said "if I had a nickle" 
IF I had a nickle...
If I had a nickel for every time I had a ..........penny....
If I had a nickel for every time you said you loved me, I'd be a millionaire, but if I had a million for every time that you meant it ... I'd be poor as hell.
If I had a nickle for every time I had this song go through my head, I'd be a millionaire 
I have gone to find myself. If I get back before I return, Keep me here!
If I had a nickle for every time I didn't have a nickle...I'd have a nickle.
If I had a nickle for every time I was nice to someone, I'd be a millionaire. If I had a nickle for every time I ever even got a thank you, I'd be in even deeper debt.
If I had a nickel for every time a new came along, I'd be a millionaire
If I had a nickel for every time someone mis-spelled "nickel", I'd buy Microsoft.
BackAlleyBrawler: I can't facepalm this post hard enough.
ShoNuff: If sophisticated = bro-mantically emo-tastic, then I'm going to keep to my Shonen loving simplicity dammit.
If I had a nickel for every time Monk said Here's what happened, I would have as many nickels as there are episodes
If I had a Nickel for every time I had to look up wiki to find out how much a nickel was, I'd have... 2.9972 pence in current UK currency
It goes: "If I had a nickel for every time (fill in the blank), I'd be a millionaire"
I'll start. Follow my lead.
If I had a nickel for every time that one piece of salvage I need isn't available at Wentworth's, I'd be a millionaire.