Thorny Devil's background story!

I wrote this story a wile back and have decided to post it here for all to read, hope you like it

Thorny didn’t cry when born or smile. He never spoke a word as he grew, but his parents stuck by him and nurtured him as best they could. When ever he was asleep, he wasn’t alone in the dark. Someone or something was watching him from the corner of the room but never did or say anything to him or anyone and only thorny new he was there!
On his first birthday he woke up crying for the first time! His parents ran in and were surprised as a horn had grown out of his left shoulder, realising this could be a problem with the locals, they didn’t want anything to come to him so they kept him indoors and he never went to school.

Every birthday a new horn would grow, the pain would be unbearable but as soon as he entered the gloom, that dark figure appeared and the pain would fade. Thorny also discovered he had powers, people would come knocking looking for him who have never met or herd of him, but Thorny couldn’t stop thinking about them even though he had know clue who they are! Sometimes wile eating, if he reached for the salt it would fly across the room. He killed the cat trying to stroke it! Thorny was unhappy, sitting in his room all day when he could be out exploring his childhood. Learning from home, his parents made sure he new about the world! He realised the world wasn’t a good place where he doesn’t belong and he began asking where he did!
Usually Thorny would sleep soundly and never wake up till early morning, but on the night of his 13 birthday he woke up exactly 00.00! The dark figure stood over him but Thorny didn’t flinch, this "thing" had never aproched him or said a thing all these years!

“Who are you boy?” Pondered the figure

Thornys lips moved for the first time. Bairly reconisable words broke out of the tiny MasterMind
“I don’t know, I have no name”

“I shall tell you” “You are my son”

“What?” Asked Thorny surprisingly “You’re insane”

“If I’m insane, then what is that on the back of your nee?”
Confused, he never noticed the birth mark

“What’s this?”

“Look”
The figure pulled up his top to reveal the same mark on his stomach

“No this can’t be?” Thorny sat up in his bed
“You can’t be my father; he’s in the next room!”

“I am your true father, they were chose to be your step parents because of there trust and loyalty to me” corrected the figure

Just then the lights flickered on and Thorny jumped up as he looked at a figure witch he reconised as The Devil Himself

“Now you know who I am your mind will be at rest” the 10ft figure laughed

“But,........... but, this cant be?” “I’m the Devils son” Thorny said surprisingly, with I faint sigh of relief

“Yes, you’re my son and now you must rule with me”

“Rule what, the world?”

“No the evil that dwels beneath your feet, but soon my son, You will rule the world"

he took a step back
Just as soon as he appeared the Devil left
Shocked Thorny walked into the front room to find his step Parents standing waiting for him

“So now you know” said his step farther

“We are so sorry we didn’t tell you, we wanted to but we had a deal with your father to make sure you didn’t” his step Mother said reassuringly

“I understand” said thorny

By now Thorny was 15 and still lived with his step parents, as being half heman, he loved
them for being there for him all the years and always being true to his real farther. Thorny was sitting in his room in complete darkness as this was the way for him to concentrate and harness the powers within. But then a knock came at the door, as his mother unlocked the door, it flung open, longbow agents ran in and surrounded them.

“Search for the boy” said the longbow commander

The thuds of feet on the carpeted wood floors shook the grownd as they search high and low for the young MasterMind
“We can’t find him sir” he said nervously

“He has to be here, he never leaves”

“Sorry sir, but he’s nowhere”

“Where is he?” screamed the commander at Thorny’s Mother, his spit running down her face!

“I don’t know”

“Tell me or die”

"I don’t know!”

“Fine we will have to do this the hard way”

They left with his parents to a secret location in the Rouge Isle
Luckily the Devil had rescued his son before longbow found him

“How did they know I lived there?” asked Thorny to his farther

“One of my contacts told them, I new he was dodgy when he didn’t know who your false parents were, but he’s your first target my son, I want you to show him who has messed with, after we will go get your parents back, do me proud son, make these years worth wile”

In a few seconds, Thorny fell through a well of darkness in the floor and arrived at the contacts apartment, he knocked on his door and stud by the side of the door so not to be seen through the spy hole. As the contact stuck his head out the door, it fell on the floor with a thump! Blood spowt from the twiching torso. Suddenly Longbow had him surrounded, and unable to move from the paralizing dart sticking out of his neck. they took him to a longbow high security mental home.
Strapped to a metal bed with a strait jacket on, Thorny had never bin this angry but as they never turned the lights off he couldn’t concentrate and his Farther didn’t know where he was. After a few months it was his birthday again.

“Hello son” said the Devil appaering beside the steralised metal bed

“Farther? how did you find me?”

“It’s your birthday, time for your new horn, even without the darkness I can still find you on your birthday”

“I’m 16?”

“Yes and it’s when you become, YOU!”

At that moment 2 longbow doctors peered through his cell window as lights went out in the room, the doctors could only look on in amazement as fire filed the room. Holding Thorny, the Devil empowering him with darkness from the universe itself! The window cracked with the heat raged by the fire, paint fell of the ceiling, the straps around thorny burnt off, the metal bed had melted into a lump. The fire still raging at temperatures never known. Thorny took a step back as his farther let go, the fire disappeared along with his farther leaving just the heat and darkness!
The 2 doctors peered through the broken window into the completely dark room, sweat pooing from them, cloths burnt and shrunk!

“Where has the subject gone?” he asked curiously

2 bright red eyes suddenly appeared in front of them along with a evil grin. The petrified doctors ran out the door as fast as there little legs could carry them.
thorny Devil's task? look for his step parents and kill whoever and whatever it takes to get them back.
As thorny ran dawn the corridors light bulbs exploded and paint melted! Concreat, tarmac, whatever he stepped on burned and cracked with the rage hell's anger inside him

Well what do you think

Come on peeps, give me some stick!! I dont mind

Well done Thorny!

It's always nice to find out a bit of background about characters - It makes them feel a bit more rounded.

kudos for you hon!

Thx Twisted

Come on peeps! I GOT 50 VIEWS! Some feedback please?

Good story Thorny and as Twisted added it makes for a more well rounded feel. Made my time playing my main character a lot more enjoyable because i had made a story for him.

Don't worry about feedback, if you enjoy writting stories keep at it

I love your storyline thorny, keep up the good work.

Since you have asked for feedback, here goes.

Since it's a background story, not an actual short story, I won't go into that. But when writing stories, take the time to proof-read it thoroughly and use proper grammar. (Sentences start with capital letter and end in comma. Check the spelling of words. For example Word has built-in grammar-check, and it can be very helpful too.) Sometimes typos make it unclear what you are meaning, for example "then what is that on the back of your nee" - I couldn't say if you ment neck, knee, or something else.

The content of the story, well, I'm sorry to say but (just this to go from) it is quite ordinary and has a bit of an god-complex. The son of the devil? That story has been done over and over again, from Omen to Good Omens and everything in between. It can still be interesting and good story, but it requires a new take on the things, heck of a writing talent and imagination.

Personally, it would work for me much better if it was not THE devil, just A devil. Just a normal little demon who has a son in the mortal world for whoknowswhy diabolical reason. The bit where the son and father can only connect when it was dark was nice touch, as was the growing of thorns.

And no matter what kind of background you have, your character can still be interesting and deep personality and much fun to RP with / as. Good luck!

Pyranha

nice story thorny my man, a very enjoyable read

well thorny desipite what others may think i thought it was a cracking and well written story so nice one keep it up

Thx everyone

oh, and jsut by the way thorny, what archetype are you and what are your power sets, from this I would guess a fire/dark corruptor.

Take your pick

Thorny Devil........= necra/dark MM
Furious Thorny.....= fire/dark corruptor
Numb Thorny...... = dark/stone brute

oh, nice one. Just judging by what happened in the storyline you seemed more of a fire/dark corruptor than a necra/dark mastermind.

Well here's the start of my next story
Hope you all like it.




Thorny Devil fell next to what remained of a Zombie. Blood running Down his face from a deep cut on his forehead, managing to get up onto his lifeless legs he sore the Hero known as Bio Lizard pick up the unconscious Mistress Nekra in his arms.

“Leave her alone” The young mastermind managed to scream “she has nothing to do with this”

“She’s on your side, she has everything to do with this” Bio Lizard flew off carrying Nekra on his arms leaving Thorny Behind in agony, watching his loved one be carried away by his biggest enemy, let alone the pain from the injures he sustained.

---------

A corruptor lay snoring in an arm chair, looking like he just finished 10 rounds with statesman.

“Demon are you there?”

The small radio built into an earpiece spoke into his ear

“Demon, you there? I need your help”

Fire burst from his eyes as they suddenly opened

“Ya I’m here Thorny, what’s up?”

Demon Biker rubbed his eyes and yawned thinking to him self, “I wish I drank more last night!”

“I have a problem”

“Sounds Fun, what is it?”

“Meet me at the top of that pyramid in St Martial, Ill tell you there”

Thorny quickly turned around hearing a faint foot step
“Who’s there?” Looking around he sore nothing but the debris left from the fight . “I know I heard you” The smell of defeat ran through his nostrils as he headed out of Warburg, knowing he had no chance of rescuing his loved one!!

Constructive feedback welcome

I liked it. very imaginative. . And very cool.

Thx Over

Heres the next part



Demon Biker crashed down on top of the Giza, smashing the golden laminated tiles beneath him and causing the window to tremble and shack, his eyes bright red with frustration and anger to know why his friend Thorny Devil has a problem.
Just as his impatience became unbearable he turned round to see the helpless mastermind barely standing on two feet.

“Thorny….” He looked at him, clutching his stomach “….are you ok?”

The tiny devil fell back onto a wall as the demon ran to his aid.
Sitting against the wall Thorny turned to Demon.

“Its ok Thorny, I can heal you good as new”

“Thanks mate, you’re a life saver”

“Life saver? I thought you couldn’t die? You’re a demon like me!”

“Well…” He gasped for air as Demon cauterized the wound “that’s not entirely true!”

“What? You’re not a devil?”

“I am, half in fact, other human, I’ll explain”

------

The door swung open as two figures walked through.

“This is the place”

“Sure? I thought you said it was a Office complex? This is a Warehouse!”

“164 Chepstow lane, its what’s written on the card he gave me, anyway, does it matter, we're only here to give this guy a cut of the deal?”

“Ok ok, that FIERY temper of yours gets on my nerves sometimes”

The two Villains walked through the many empty corridors. Sun shining through the broken dusty windows casting their shadows and causing scurrying animals to scatter and hide. They came to a hall, broken bottles and overturned shelves and machines lay dusted with all manner of junk.

“Dude this place stinks”

“Then hold your breath, and pass me the case”

He walked over to a table standing in the middle of the room with a metal case in hand. He looked towards a door at the opposite end of the room as it opened
Thorny laid the case on the table holding 500.000 in cash

“Just take the case and I'll be gone”

“Ay Thorny my man? Why you go so soon, I got another job for ya”

“You said that was the last job, I almost busted my butt for you that time?”

“Ay man no problem, this ones easy, killer” he reached for his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper.

“All you gatta do is……”

Glass came crashing down all around them as Longbow troops entered the building. The air was filled with adrenalin as bullets flew around the room with great ease lifting dust and dirt as they crashed into the walls and debris.

“You set me up you.....”

Thorny devil looked at his contact, blood running down him from bullet wounds

“I didn’t no…hone….sit…” He fell to the floor with a thump as Thorny turned round to see his friend lying on the floor. His hands covered in his friend’s blood, he checked for a pulse. Thorny hadn’t noticed the wounds he had sustained himself, too busy thinking of others then himself, he hadn’t noticed the Hero standing behind him.

“So your Thorny Devil?” the hero sniggered
The tiny Devil turned to an 8ft hero standing behind him

“You will pay for this, all heroes will pay”

“Not so fast, do you really think you can win in your condition?”

“My condition?”

Thorny looked at him self, spines sticking out of every limb with boiling hot blood pouring all over the floor, steaming up broken glass around their feet.

The hero stepped away from the young Devil as his legs gave way with the lack of blood.

“He’s down….” the hero spoke into a radio he pulled from his pocket “……….Lets get him to the zig, NOW”

The room suddenly became dark as night. A mist filled the air and the smell of sulphur and rotting flesh sent a shiver down spins. The hero looked on in amazement as Thorny Devil was engulfed in darkness and disappeared, leaving only his blood.


“Son, Can you hear me?”

“…Father..?”

Thorny lay on his bed, eyes barely open looking into his dad's eyes.

“I failed you father...I’m sorry I failed you”

“Don’t make me laugh boy, you didn’t come this far by failing did you?”

“I will be ok, won't I?”

“Son, even though you are a true Devil, at your age you aren’t like us. Your still developing your skills, you have only begun to tap into your powers. Sure your pets do you well but there is more to you then just necromancy”

“So I will be ok?”

A door opened and in walked Samedi the deity baron and his daughter Miss Nekra

“You got what you need?” pondered the Devil

“Yes my friend” He looked at Thorny Devil with wide eyes with the young mastermind looking at him from the foot of his bed.

“Do you know what your doing?”

“Of course I do, I have done this more times then you have had hot meals” he injected a needle into Thorny’s arm, drawing out his blood.

“What’s the side affects of this? Run me though everything again”

“Well, in order to bring him to life we need to impregnate a human woman with the same genes as his mother and father. He will have no memory of his past and no idea who he is or anything. In turn this also means he will be half human. Are you sure you want to go through with this? There’s a 50/50% chance he will survive a birth”

“I don’t care, its better then no son at all” shouted the Devil”

Thorny lay dead on his bed, his farther slammed the door behind him as he left the room. His anger and sorrow combined is not something even the god of voodoo should see.

-----

“So I was born by my surrogate mother”
Thorny Devil stood up with nothing more then a few scratches

“Good work healing me mate, I guess being half human isn’t bad after all”
He looked at Demon who was lost for words

“So your half human, not a REAL devil?

“Once was, I’m still just as powerful, but easier to kill”

“Damn and I thought I had problems!!”

“I live with it, just be lucky to have me as a friend”

“Why?” he asked Thorny

“I know about your problems with my father, but don’t worry” He winked

“So what’s this problem you need me for?


Next part coming as soon as I write it up

Arriving in Grandville, Thorny Devil was on his way to a special contact, Demon biker trying to follow the angry Mastermind.

“So, where we going? What’s the problem short [censored]?” Not choosing his word correctly was his problem when upset or angry.

“Impatient aren’t we today?”

“Id appreciate it, if you could tell me where we going and what you need me for?”

“All in good time my fellow hell spawn”

Thorny came to a stand still in the gutter, arachnoids around the corner and hidden in the alley ways, the two demons stood in a courtyard in the middle of some buildings where a television stood propped up and some bricks and a plank of rotting wood.

“Is this it? Were here to watch TV?” Shouted Demon, his fiery anger now running through his veins like a train out of control, each time it cornered his anger would peak making his eyes glow like two suns in the back of his head.

“Just watch and you will see”

The screen flickered on without any power, Demon’s anger took a nose dive as he watches this seemingly normal TV turn it self on and somehow get a signal.
A picture started to appear, the sound of screaming tyres and engines roaring came bellowing out. As the sound turned down a clear picture of a rally car drifting round a corner came up. Darting over jumps and taking corners at 100mph as if a child was playing with his toy car. The voice of the co driver followed the engines roar “Over jump, slow down!” Yet it didn’t, the car took off the jump way to fast, a crash, surly to follow. As the front of the rally car neared the gravel road, its back end rose into the air becoming vertical with the ground. Its bonnet touching the ground first, the car quickly slammed onto its roof. The sound of metal and fibre glass twisting and contorting now irritating spectators ears as they watch in agony as it bounced around and flipped in the air ,then finally landing on its wheel rims. Gravel, dust and dirt lifted by the crash, falling as the car slid down a ditch by the side of the road, coming to a stand still as it hit a tree, side on.
Looking at the car, its decals no longer readable, windows no more and tyres littering the road. You wouldn’t think anyone would survive it, yet to the drivers, it common place in this job. The climbed out of the windscreen and onto the feet. Taking there helmets off; the camera was now looking strait at them as they walked towards it. The background and co driver slowly disappeared into white nothing. Leaving the driver staring strait at Thorny Devil and Demon Biker who was gob smacked and silent as to watch he was now seeing.

“Ahh, Thorny Devil, nice to see you again, and you brought a friend along to. Is he ok, he looks like he’s seen a ghost?” The figure reached into his pocket and pulled out a pipe and lit it. The smell of smoke wafted in the air around the two demons.

“He’s ok, just never seen a TV speak to him before. Could you help me find someone? You’re the only one I can think of who can help”

“For you? Anything, as long as it don’t involve me and water I’m game”

“I’m looking for my fiancée Mistress Nekra, she was kidnapped by the Hero Bio Lizard but I don’t have a clue where he took her”

To be continued…………..

What ya think?
Constructive criticism welcome