Don't ye just love being a altaholic? 
Another good one mate, although very dark...
Said it already, liked it alot, and the brute itself is good to watch smash. st those higher lvls, its gonna be carnage, epsacially with me using Lord Qel-Thyr to give you all those dmg buffs... 
Great story D, can't wait for part 2 
/em gulp!
The story is good due to Chainfist having the uberest tank around as his father.. huhuhu...
Great one again, D
great story D! (warning n00bish question ahead!) Have you finished Blapper then or you juggling two stories at once?
2 stories, lol, we wish, hes writing at least 3 that i kno of...
I dont normally read stuff on this forum, am normally too impatient to read such long posts....but i gotta say......this is good, kept me reading till the end....like it. will be now keeping an eye out for the next episode.
Just a few notes - don't take any of this the wrong way, but something caught my eye as maybe being off in the first few lines, and I ended up reading the rest through in my old writing workshop mindset that I still have from uni. 
You place the character's mother as being a Portal Crop scientist at the time of his conception. I'd be really, really careful doing that. Referencing the timeline we have up on the official side, the fist portal wasn't opened until 1988. I'd imagine the official opening of Portal Crop came sometime after. However, the initial company was fairly quickly destroyed from the sound of things, not reopening until 1998. Now, if the character is 19/20 (going by the end of your story), he was born before Portal Corp even existed! Obviously, if you don't care about the canon, it doesn't matter, but if you want the character to basially fit in with the background we have, then you might want to play around with jobs, or dates.
More generally, watch some of your sentences - the first one is over four lines long. That in itself isn't a problem, of course... but it clearly should be split into several. After "Tommy Fale was born to great things," you should probably either have a full stop, or a semicolon. The parts about his mother and father would flow much better as separate sentences, and the part about your character watching his father on TV should certainly be separated. At the very least, think about using some semicolons and dashes; right now, it's just comma after comma, and it really just starts to run together and get quite confusing. That probably sounds picky, but I'm using it more as an example than anything else - you do similar things in a number of places. I'd rather give an example than sit and edit the whole thing though.
I don't get why his mother withdrew from his father like that. Especially since she was apparently proud of his heroism and abilities, and pushed her son to emulate him. It'd be interesting to hear a little more about their relationship and why that happened, rather than just being told it happened. As I got told ad infinitum in uni classes, show things to your readers, don't just tell them. And why would such an intelligent, talented person think it was a good idea to give up all income and support for her child? It's hard to swallow such irrational things without a bit of reasoning or background.
I have to question why something like the mutant school, and your character's treatment, would happen in Paragon City. We're talking a city that's full of heroes, and by extension, freaks. The people of Paragon City are used to mutants, seven-foot-tall people, and just about anything else weird. They're also used to respecting and admiring such people. Placing his childhood somewhere out of Paragon City would actually work better in my opinion. Cities tend to be more liberal in many ways than a backwater town in the real world, and I've no doubt that the people from a tiny farming town in Texas have seen less mutants than your average Paragon City child. 
Obviously, it's up to you, but again a case of making things fit the setting and be believable. When you're writing with a pre-existing background that all the readers know, you have to be careful. Likewise, I find it a little hard to believe that after killing three cops, he was allowed to go free. A scene explaining that, or perhaps downgrading the earlier offense to simply breaking and entering, making his mother his first murder victim, could help it make more sense. Or perhaps you could fudge it that his father, being someone of power, managed to talk the authorities into releasing his troubled son so he could help him. Regardless, as is, it jumps out at me as not quite making sense.
wow cool. its dark, interesting and villainous, me likes 
I am the Blaster, I have filled the role of Tank, Controller and Defender
Sometimes all at once.
Union EU player! Pip pip, tally ho, top hats and tea etc etc
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Just a few notes - don't take any of this the wrong way, but something caught my eye as maybe being off in the first few lines, and I ended up reading the rest through in my old writing workshop mindset that I still have from uni.
You place the character's mother as being a Portal Crop scientist at the time of his conception. I'd be really, really careful doing that. Referencing the timeline we have up on the official side, the fist portal wasn't opened until 1988. I'd imagine the official opening of Portal Crop came sometime after. However, the initial company was fairly quickly destroyed from the sound of things, not reopening until 1998. Now, if the character is 19/20 (going by the end of your story), he was born before Portal Corp even existed! Obviously, if you don't care about the canon, it doesn't matter, but if you want the character to basially fit in with the background we have, then you might want to play around with jobs, or dates.
More generally, watch some of your sentences - the first one is over four lines long. That in itself isn't a problem, of course... but it clearly should be split into several. After "Tommy Fale was born to great things," you should probably either have a full stop, or a semicolon. The parts about his mother and father would flow much better as separate sentences, and the part about your character watching his father on TV should certainly be separated. At the very least, think about using some semicolons and dashes; right now, it's just comma after comma, and it really just starts to run together and get quite confusing. That probably sounds picky, but I'm using it more as an example than anything else - you do similar things in a number of places. I'd rather give an example than sit and edit the whole thing though.
I don't get why his mother withdrew from his father like that. Especially since she was apparently proud of his heroism and abilities, and pushed her son to emulate him. It'd be interesting to hear a little more about their relationship and why that happened, rather than just being told it happened. As I got told ad infinitum in uni classes, show things to your readers, don't just tell them. And why would such an intelligent, talented person think it was a good idea to give up all income and support for her child? It's hard to swallow such irrational things without a bit of reasoning or background.
I have to question why something like the mutant school, and your character's treatment, would happen in Paragon City. We're talking a city that's full of heroes, and by extension, freaks. The people of Paragon City are used to mutants, seven-foot-tall people, and just about anything else weird. They're also used to respecting and admiring such people. Placing his childhood somewhere out of Paragon City would actually work better in my opinion. Cities tend to be more liberal in many ways than a backwater town in the real world, and I've no doubt that the people from a tiny farming town in Texas have seen less mutants than your average Paragon City child. Obviously, it's up to you, but again a case of making things fit the setting and be believable. When you're writing with a pre-existing background that all the readers know, you have to be careful. Likewise, I find it a little hard to believe that after killing three cops, he was allowed to go free. A scene explaining that, or perhaps downgrading the earlier offense to simply breaking and entering, making his mother his first murder victim, could help it make more sense. Or perhaps you could fudge it that his father, being someone of power, managed to talk the authorities into releasing his troubled son so he could help him. Regardless, as is, it jumps out at me as not quite making sense.
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thanks for that input, to be honest when I write I mainly focus on my perspective of the world, many of my stories have embelished and added to teh CoH world. This wasn't meant to be a great epic nor was it meant to be entirely accurate to events in the "real" CoV world. However, it is an attempt to explain the darkness of my characters background. In a couple of instances I can respond.
Mother quit her job as she wanted to be able to focus on being a mother, she is not a career mad lady, valuing family over over finance, it is quite feasable that she had a source of income to support her and her son but those details are periferal (spelling) to the main point of the story.
As to withdrawing from the father, this is not an uncommon phenomenon among single mothers (I work in a field closelyt related) to do with a fear of rejection or commitment, both are possible causes, also there is a question over whether the father was willing to have a deepened responsability in the relationship, especially when the pressures of being a high profile hero come to bare on him. The mother did not push her son to emulate his father possibly due to having seen the pressures that he was put under during their realationship, however she could still take great pride in his accomplishments but would probably not be the kind of woman who said "I wish you were more like your father" to a child struggling with his identity and powers. (see X-Men comics for numerous referances to parental attitudes to mutations)
The reason he got away with stuff is simple... he wasn't caught until after the events.
If portal corp started in 88 then come 2006 the boy could be 18, that is assuming that the story is set in the immediate present, which it doesn't have to be this could be in a decade...
As to the abusive school being tolerated in paragon city, that is not a problem either, the abuse of situations by the likes of the Crey would be a real possibility in this situation... any number of villain groups in the game have an interest in genetics, drugs etc...
I'm not ruling out the furthering of Chainfist as a story but he is not my main priority in game, that is blasting, 89 levels out of my planned 250 achieved so far! But I would not rule out his appearance in later stories as the world within a world that I am trying to create within the CoX universe that chiefly involves my friends and their characters has the freedom to have slight liscense in these sorts of things.
Blapper is the main story for those who have been reading it and yes that is what I am working on, there are a few things I need to get in place to make it happen but I plan on writting the next part soonish. Probably 2 or 3 episodes at a time sometime next week, but there are things I need to discover in game about powersets etc, that influence the story.
As to my spelling and grammar... I know it sucks.
Tommy Dale was born to great things, his mother Wendy Dale was one of the top minds of the Portal Corporation working on new and dynamic ways to expand the portals reach and technologies, his father, a one time intimate friend of his mothers, J.Brute was one of the premier heroes in Paragon City, from an early age Tommy would sit infront of the TV watching videos of his fathers achievements, watching him on the news, watching him, always watching him. After Tommy's conception his mother withdrew from his father, refusing even to tell him of her pregnancy, but Tommy knew who his dad was. Wendy quit her job in order to become a full time mother, and exchanged the highs of Pereguine Island for a flat in Steel Canyon, however without a steady income that too eventually became to expensive so a move to a small property in Galaxy City was in order. Tommy was an islolated child, his mother constantly reminding him that he had a great destiny, that he was of good stock, that he would one day be a hero like his father.
Tommy was nine when he and his mother moved to Galaxy City, and he was nine when the mutated genes began to become apparent, Tommy was never a small boy, but he grew rapidly, almost overnight but several inches, the school play ground became a place where he was bullied by the other children for being a "freak" and he build up a phobia of attending, crying into his mothers lap as he rested his head there while she stroked his hair. Galaxy City was an lonely place to grow up, especially for a seven foot tall boy not yet in his teens, but Tommy was happy, at first. The strain of having such a strange child began to take its toll on Wendy and eventually she sought help, the result of the help was that Tommy was sent to a special boarding school for mutants, here they would help him learn to control his abilities, here they would help him become a hero. His mother was delighted, Tommy hated it. Time after time he ran away, time after time he was punished brutally for being, in the words of one of his teachers "a run away freak." The school was not really sympathetic to mutants, it was run by scientist intent on genetic research who used powerful chemicals and tests to alter the behaviour of their students, control through chemicals is what they instilled into many of their students, control of the will, far from self control.
Well into his early teens Tommy became dependant on these chemicals, so much so that it became obvious to his mother that there was somethign very wrong so she withdrew him from the school, not knowing that he was an involuntary drug addict. A wild cycle of depression and anger spawned in Tommy as his dependance to the drugs became ever more desperate and broken, he began to get into arguments with his mother over little things, into fights with people in the street over a wrong glance, or a misheard phrase. He fell in with a young gang, who were really a recruiting venue for the Skullz who quickly found Tommy to be an interesting propsition, they pumped him full of drugs but none met the hunger of his addiction. He got invovled in the gang wars in Perez Park, Kings Row, the Hollows, where ever there was a fight going. The Skulls would pump him full of drugs wrap chains around his now massive body and send him in as a juggernaut to brutalise the rival gangs. He soon gained a reputation in the city as a bad [censored], however it wasn't until he was caught breaking and entering that Tommys troubles really began.
At the age of fifteen he broke into his old school desperate for the drugs that had contained his emotions for five years, desperate for the feeling of peace that they gave him, he went fully covered in his chain body armour and chained gauntlets. During the break in he triggered a silent alarm and the police force arrived, three officers died that night, and so did Tommy's mother'd dream of his greatness, although she did not yet realise it.
Realising her sons behaviour was getting worse rather than better Wendy bit the bullet and contacted his father, J.Brute immediately tried to help his son but the point of no return had long been passed, rather than healing wounds held deep in Tommy they furthered the pain, causing him to lash out at the person he blamed for it, his mother, Wendy Dale was beaten to death by her sixteen year old son in their appartment in Galaxy City. At that point even the gang members who had pushed him around became scared of him and began to alienate him. Tommys anger and depression drove him to become suicidal and homocidal, he would walk the streets at night with his fists wrapped in chains, and punch things until they were stained red with blood, of the victim and himself, in gang culture he became known as Chainfist. His father tried countless times to reason with him, to bring him to a place of peace but Tommy "Chainfist" Dale was his own man by then, eventually a warrant was released for his arrest and it was J.Brute who collected it. He wept as he gave testimony against his son, but he could not, and would not hold back the hand of justice that incarcerated his son into the Ziggurnaut.
Tommy thrived in prison, he got stronger, more powerful and more aggressive, until the eyes of a villain were drawn to his dark light. Lord Qel-Thyr planned revenge on the Precision Ranger Devidose, and he wanted some muscle to help in his plans, so it was that the villain used his contacts within Arachnos to break the nineteen year old out of the prison. Funded by Qel-Thyrs vast wealth and fueled by his ambition Chainfist excelled in the Isles, working hard for his mentor, towards his mentors goals, but with his own plans lodged firmly in his mind. Tommy Dale was born to great things, and as Chainfist, he would accomplish them.