Mirror_Man's Review Thread!

Glad to hear my feedback helped you improve your arc, ArrowRose! Based on how things go for the next few weeks, I may be opening this thread up again and accepting reviews, but as for now, it's still closed. However, if/when I do accept reviews again, I'll be sure to review your new arc first

Anyway, there's just enough time for one more review today, so let's get started!

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Arc Name: Papers and Paychecks

Author: PoliceWoman

Character Used: Level 38 Electric Melee / Electric Armor Brute

Mission 1: The New Hire

The contact for this arc is a Crey Protector named "Security Chief Manning", and the first thing the author tells the player is that his/her character is giving up their life of crime to begin working for Crey Industries (isn't that just giving up one life of crime for another?)

Anyway, Manning informs me that my character is replacing a stock clerk named "Bob", who was forced to retire after a suspicious fork lift accident. As a stock clerk, my job is stick shipping labels onto various crates within a warehouse operated by Crey... I gave up my life of crime for this?

However, the job proves to be much more exciting than it sounds, as Longbow operatives have decided to shut down this apparently nefarious operation. After taking down some Longbow, I come across "Jenny, the New Hire", a new employee to Crey who was also assigned to this warehouse. Jenny (a non-combat ally set to follow the player's character) decides to tag along and watch me beat up Longbow for some reason, and along the way I slap appropriate labels onto various crates (one which contains Paris Holiday's line of perfume, which I thought was a nice throwback by the author). At the end of the mission, I find Countess Crey's loyal bodyguard, Hopkins, being accosted by... a random pickup group of heroes running the Manticore Task Force. After taking care of the heroes, Hopkins awards me with an official Letter of Recommendation, which Manning informs me (after I exit the mission) is enough to get me promoted to the front office. I'm moving up the corporate ladder.

Mission 2: The Office

So, now that I'm in the front office, Mannings informs me I'll be working with "Simmons", who is in the process of shredding some confidential company documents. I'm sent to go lend him a hand.

However, it turns out Simmons is a little late, as the Paragon Police are already raiding the office when I enter the mission. It also turns out that the best way to "shred" documents is to utterly annihilate them with super powers; who could have guessed file cabinets and stacks of paper were so easy to destroy? I also happen to run into Jenny again (this time named "Jenny, the Office Girl", with a slightly different description), who seems to enjoy looking at photocopies of people's butts, and encourages me to do the same. After my character steals some office supplies in hopes of building a better life, I run into Simmons (a named Crey Protector), who is being detained by the Paragon Police. After rescuing him, Simmons puts in a good word for me with the higher-ups, and Mannings informs me that I'll be working at Crey R & D the following day. I'm moving up in the world.

Mission 3: Research & Development

As a new Crey Researcher, I'll be working at a Bio lab in Brickstown with the esteemed Dr. Paul Summerfield; my main task will be supervising his experiments.

Unfortunately, supervising the doctor's experiments turns out to be trickier than it sounds, as several have already escaped their holding cells and are terrorizing the researchers at the lab. The custom group in this mission, named "Escaped Experiments", seem to be a mix of Hydra and Devouring Earth. Several named bosses are given interesting descriptions, including "Experiment A" (who is suggested to be "Bob", the stock clerk you initally replaced at the start of the arc) and "Experiment C" (a superheroine clone who believes she is the original). Along the way, I find Jenny again (this time named "Jenny, the Lab Assistant"), who makes the astute observation that there may be some unethical experiments going on in this lab. I finally find Dr. Summerfield (a named Crey Power Tank), who seems to be rather paranoid about people stealing his work and publishing it as their own. After defeating the doctor, I liberate some notes he took of his experiments from his person and then send all of the information to the "Association of Genetic Engineers" (with Summerfield's name nowhere to be found, of course). Mannings informs me that the association decided to publish "my" research, and when Countess Crey found out, she decided to promote me to management status. Things were looking up.

Mission 4: Middle Management

As a middle manager, I was assigned to one of Crey's Founders Falls' offices to "make sure everyone stays on track". Mannings also informs me that Human Resources has assigned a female assistant to aid me in my managerial duties. Gee, I wonder who it could be?

So, for the first time, the workplace I enter isn't filled with police, Longbow, or science experiments running amok. Instead, it's filled with hard-working, effiecient office workers. VERY hard-working, effecient officer workers. INHUMANLY hard-working, effecient- they're Nemesis Automatons, aren't they?

After meeting up with Jenny (now "Jenny, the Administrative Assistant"), who seems to think that these office workers are "kinda weird", she gives me my schedule, which lists me having two seperate meetings with "Barbie" and "Ken". It turns out "Ken" is actually "Ken Kellerman", the same captive from Phillipa Meraux's story arc outside of AE (and guarded by more Manticore Task Force members for some reason). However, "Barbie" turns out to be "Electirc Barbarella" (a custom Nemesis Boss), and boasts both a Nemesis Rifle and Electric Armor. After defeating her, Captain Deckard (Nemesis Warhulk) shows up and reveals the Nemesis plot to take over this Crey office... for some unstated reason. Nemesis does weave a tangled web, after all. After defeating the captain, Mannings informs me that Countess Crey has learned of my success in stopping the evil Nemesis plot at the office, and has promoted me to Executive Vice President. I'm finally up there with the rest of the decision-makers.

Mission 5: Corporate Restructuring

As an executive vice president, my first order of business is pretty standard executive protocol: firing a bunch of people below me who are causing trouble for the company. It seems some rumors of illegal research going on at a Crey office in Steel Canyon have started to arise, and it falls upon me to personally "downsize" all of the workers at the office before the police start to investigate these rumors. Crey also wants a "word" with the employee who started these rumors in the first place. The opening dialog hints at a time limit in the upcoming mission (though doesn't state exactly how long), which turns out to be 15 minutes. I'd better hurry. The author also states that the outcome of this mission is based on the "player's choice".

So, it turns out that the Crey workers inside the building are less than thrilled to see me, especially the three "whistleblowers" whose employment I terminated. At the end of the mission, I finally come across the person I've been looking for: none other than "Jenny, the Accounting Manager", being guarded by members of the Paragon Police. After defeating the bodyguards, I "escort" Jenny down to towards the exit, and it turns out Police Woman has arrived on the scene. Though I'm able to defeat her, it turns out I just can't get Jenny out of the office building in time. It's funny how things turn out.

Naturally, the police arrest several high-ranking Crey employees, the Countess pins the whole sordid ordeal squarely on my shoulders, and Manning is nice enough to let me return to my life of crime rather than turn me into Crey. And Jenny? My character never sees her again, but at least she's out of Crey's hands. Even villains can do something noble every once in a while, right? Story Arc complete.

Final Thoughts:

This arc was, quite simply, one of the best arcs I've EVER played. The story flowed smoothly from one segment to the next, the few custom characters in the arc were endearing, and the plot has an excellent and satisfying conclusion.

The only nitpick with this arc I can think of is the time limit in the final mission; while it's nice that the author actually warns the player ahead of time in this arc, the strict time limit of 15 minutes might be short enough to warrant specification in the mission dialog. I can understand WHY the author made the time limit so short, and I actually wouldn't recommend changing it (for players who want the "happy" ending), but it MIGHT help to specifiy the time, just as a heads-up for players who want the "villainous" ending.

All things considered, I'm surprised that this arc is labeled "Work in Progress"; it's just my opinion, but I think it's easily complete enough for "Final" status, though I'm sure PoliceWoman will correct me if I'm missing something.

Overall, I think this is an arc every AE player should try out at least once; it's a fun, charming experience, and fully displays this author's talent with the AE system. A well-deserved 5 Stars.

Final Score: 5 Stars

Thanks for all these reviews! I'm definitely going to try and incorporate some of the suggestions you made to my various arcs. It sounds like you enjoyed several of them, which I'm glad to hear. It looks like I owe you quite a few reviews of Galactic Protectorate Parts 1 through 8572 as well.

Thanks again!

Some changes I made as a result of your comments:

1. I added a clue to Detective Basinns in Talos Vice mission 1, to give him a little "screen time". He doesn't appear much in the rest of the arc, though, mostly because I want Croquette and the player to have the "buddy cop" dynamic. I admittedly sideline Basinns (who is Croquette's official partner) in order to try and increase the player's role.

2. I reworded the first line of the Teen Phalanx Forever! mission 1 briefing to be:

[NOTE: For this story arc, you are playing a teen sidekick of your hero.]

Hopefully this is clearer than the previous text ("a teen version of your hero") in setting up expectations. I confess you may still have anomalous results when playing a teen player character, but I figure this text works better for the 90% of the player characters who are adults.

3. I changed Papers and Paychecks from "Work in Progress" to "Looking for Feedback". Due to generally positive feedback recently (here and on the MA Arc superteam), this arc is now spared from possible removal, at least for awhile.

Thanks much for the feedback!

The Hidden Agenda
Arc ID: 356334
Keywords: Ideal for Teams, Save the World, Sci-Fi
Length: Very Long (5 missions)
First Published: 12/21/2009 09:23 PM
Morality: Heroic
Enemy Groups: Custom Group
Description: Find out what the shadow government is doing at the Dulce underground base and shut it down permanently.
Level Range: 45+

Notes: I made this StoryArc like a Task Force. So it is best if you have a good team. It has extreme EB/AV. Hope you enjoy it and any feedback is welcome. Oh, and if you find any grammar errors please let me know. English is not my first language. Thanks.

No problem, PoliceWoman, glad to know that my feedback was helpful

Tenzen, this thread is still closed to submissions at the moment, but if/when my schedule clears up and I have enough free time, I'll try and review your arc after I review ArrowRose's

Now, without further ado, onto another review

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Arc Name: Destroyer of Worlds

Author: PoliceWoman

Character Used: Level 35 Broadsword / Invulnerability Scrapper

Mission 1: Radiant Glories Wearing; Heavenly Weapons Bearing

The contact for this story arc is "General Groves", and right off the bat the author informs the player that this arc takes place from May 1945 - August 1945, the final days of World War 2. My character has been recommended by the golden age Paragon heroine Maiden Justice to assist Groves in several top-secret assignments, the first of which being a shipyard of German U-Boats being seized by the 5th Column. While it's important to secure the U-Boats from the 5th Column, Groves informs me that my top priority is to recover the cargo of U-234, which contains prototypes of advanced weapons Groves believes is going to be delivered to Imperial Japan.

Unsurprisingly, the mission is filled with 5th Column, and as I make my way into the main shipyard area, I can't help but notice the Arachnos insignias, along with Lord Recluse's image at the end of the mission (more on that at the end of the review). After defeating "Schadenfreude" (apparently not the "Schadenfreude" who exists in-game, but his predecessor, a Prussian Noblewoman), I recover a guided missile, a jet fighter, and some "yellow dirt" labeled U-235. Groves is particularly interested in the latter after I return, and ships it off the "Site Y".

Mission 2: The Radiance of a Thousand Suns; Bursting at Once into the Sky

Groves informs my character that the "yellow dirt" from the last mission is actually "Uranium-235", useful in an experiment going on at a research facility in Los Alamos, New Mexico (codenamed "Site Y"); an experiment which is currently out of control. Since Groves hasn't heard back from the men he sent to investigate, I'm sent in to handle the crisis.

Inside the mission, I find two scientists being accosted by Shivians. One, the (in)famous Dr. Robert Oppenheimer, the other the slightly less well-known (yet equally influential) Dr. Edward Teller, both labeled as members of the "Manhattan Project". The scientists inform me that a meteorite fragment was brought in from Roswell, New Mexico, and the Shivians had appeared when the meteorite was exposed to radiation. From this information, it's a simple task to shut down the fission reactor and destroy the "Meteorite Shard" (Nictus Crystal). Groves is so impressed with my work that he decides to keep me on as secruity for Site Y, and that the United States "is developing a superweapon of it's own".

Mission 3: At the Sight of Thee, Made Known; Three Worlds Quake

Groves informs me that the experiments at Site Y have yielded the first atomic bomb, "Little Boy". However, the 393d Bomb Sqadron, which had been scheduled to deliver the bomb to it's destination, has been attacked and captured by the 5th Column at Tinian Airfield. Groves has already called in the Marines to retake the airfield, but what he really needs is a hero.

After arriving at Tinian Airfield (which looked suspiciously like an Arachnos heliport; more on that at the end), I quickly take out "Lt. Ubelmann" and fight Schadenfreude's predecessor once more. After defeating her, Schadenfreude informs me that the bombers have already been sabotaged. Groves confirms this after the mission, as Colonel Tibbets, the one scheduled to fly the Enola Gay, has been wounded.

Mission 4: I am Become Death; Destoyer of Worlds

Since the 393d Bomb Squadron were the only ones trained to handle atomic warfare, there's no time to train another group of bombers before Imperial Japan makes it's move. It falls upon my character to deliever "Little Boy" to it's target: Hiroshima, Japan. Groves instructs me to strike the bomb so as to begin the fission reaction needed for detonation, then advises me to evacuate the area as quickly as possible.

The mission itself is largely empty, save for several Japanese Civilians walking around harmlessly. I find the "Atomic Bomb" (Rikti Bomb), strike it several times to detonate it, and... "Radiation" does indeed come forth, apparently shouting assortments of "Kaboom!" and "Boom!" at the top of their lungs and chasing the civilians around the map (again, I'll go into more depth at the end of the review). Groves tells me the mission was a great success, and congratulates me on helping to end the war. Story Arc complete.

Final Thoughts:

Alright... for the most part, this arc was incredible. The storyline was solid, and the historical characters and settings show the author obviously is knowledgeable and/or did extensive research of World War 2 and the Manhattan Project during this arc's creation. It was also nice to see how the author tied in canon lore into the arc.

However, this arc does (in my opinion) have one glaring flaw: Immersion. To be fair, this really isn't the author's fault so much as it is the limitations of the AE System. When Arachnos logos appeared in the U-Boat shipyard in the first mission, it was easy enough to ignore. When the Tinian Airfield was set in an Arachnos Heliport, it was slightly harder to ignore. However, for me, it was the "atomic explosion" in the final mission that completely broke my immersion in the storyline of the arc. Again, the author really isn't at fault here; I know from experience how hard it is to find an appropriate map/object/costume piece to match the idea you have in your head and transfer it as faithfully as possible to the AE System, and I'm usually able to overlook things like this... to an extent. However, when I thought of the actual file footage of the atomic bomb being dropped on Hiroshima, and then compared it to what is portrayed in this arc (civilians running from Radiation clouds), there was just too much of a disconnect from me. I had the impression (though I'm sure PoliceWoman will correct me if I'm wrong) that the goal of the author in the last mission was for the player to "see" the disastrous effects of their actions, hence the "Drama" tag this arc has. However, as I watched the civilians running from the Radiation clouds that were shouting "Boom" as they chased them up trees and buildings, for me, it was almost comical. And I'm fairly certain that wasn't the author's intent with this arc (again, I'm sure I'll be corrected if I'm wrong).

That's not to say this is a bad arc; this arc is very, very good. For those who love history and/or World War 2, this is definitely an arc to play. And I'm sure there are many players who can overlook my problems with it and be completely engrossed in the story from beginning to end. However, for the reason I stated above, I just can't justify giving this arc a perfect score. I still recommend it, though

Final Score: 4 Stars

Alright, it's been awhile since I posted a review, and this thread is still temporarily closed for the time being, but I did have enough time to run through ArrowRose's arc today

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Arc Name: The Greater Good

Author: ArrowRose

Character Used: Level 50 Dual Blades / Willpower Scrapper

Mission 1: The Heist

Right from the arc description, the author lets the player know that there are going to be some discrepancies between what their character does in this arc and what their character would "normally" do, which I thought was a nice heads-up for players who usually don't like arcs like this. The contact for this arc is a custom character named "Angela Goodheart", who I thought was designed nicely (even if I found her bio lacking, though that's just one of the many things about the contact which I found confusing; more on that at the end of this review). The mission begins with some backstory, as the author informs the player that their character's mentor, "Captain Courageous", thought that there were many "needy people" not getting enough help, and he sends the player's character to a "Dr. Allura" to discuss this matter further. After several months, Dr. Allura eventually sends you to Angela Goodheart, where the first mission "officially" begins.

Goodheart informs you that you are now a candidate for "The Greater Good", an organization of heroes who think of themselves as modern-day Robin Hoods. Appropriate, considering the first mission involves the player's character literally robbing from the rich to give to the poor. Goodheart informs my character that my first task is to rob a bank, but reassures me that the bank I'm robbing from is a "rich man's" bank, and that statement is quite literal: The money I am to steal belongs to a "Mr. Richman", a "greedy man who only helps himself".

Naturally, the mission takes place in bank, which seems to be guarded by Longbow. After making my way to the vault, I find 3 safes which contain the money I'm looking for. In one of the safes, however, I find a crumpled piece of paper with the words "Seek the Greater Good" scribbled on it. After completing the mission, Goodheart assures me that the money my character has stolen will help many people.

Mission 2: Prison Break

It turns out that the leaders of the Greater Good were so impressed with my bank heist that my character has been given an even more important assignment: Breaking a "Mr. Worthington" out of prison. Mr. Worthington is the founder of the Greater Good, but was "framed" and placed in the Zig. It falls upon me to break this "wrongly convicted" man out of jail.

Of course, the Paragon Police don't see things quite the same way, but I'm still able to make it to Worthington's cell and free him from his captors. After freeing Worthington, however, I find another crumpled note which reads: "Things are not always what they seem". Regardless, Goodheart congratulates my character on returning their founder to them.

Mission 3: The Kidnapping

So, it turns out that my next assignment is to kidnap the daughter of Mr. Richman, the man I stole money from in the first mission. Once I've kidnapped Mr. Richman's daughter, "Nikki", the Greater Good plans to use the ransom money they get from her to "help many people". Goodheart states that Nikki is "a spoiled brat", and that getting kidnapped will "be a good learning experience" for her. She also informs me that Mr. Richman has hired some "shady people" to protect his daughter.

It turns out that the "shady people" Mr. Richman hired are in fact the Family, and as I make my way through the mission, I come across a file cabinet with another crumpled note, this one reading: "The truth is out there". Sometime later, I come across a book case which contains yet another crumpled note, this one quoting the famous Sherlock Holmes line: "When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth". In any case, I finally reach Nikki Richman, whose bio and dialogue confirm that she is indeed a "spoiled brat". As before, Goodheart thanks me for my assistance.

Mission 4: The Truth

After all of my "accomplishments", Goodheart informs me that I'm ready to become a "full member" of the Greater Good. She gives me her card, which she claims has her cell phone number on the back. However, the corresponding clue states that Goodheart has given my character a key in addition to her card, on the back of which is not her cell phone number, but a note informing me that the desk the key unlocks contains the truth. Goodheart informs me that Mr. Worthington is throwing an office party to celebrate my character's induction, and that I should hurry.

Inside the mission, I come across the custom group "The Greater Good", most of whom seem to be busy partying and pose no threat. I find a locked desk, which I open with the key Goodheart gave me, and inside is a detonator along with an envelope. The envelope contains yet another note, this one telling me to log onto the main computer (the password is "Farce", apparently) and read the file "Project Robin Hood". At the end of the mission, I find the computer I'm looking for, along with the corresponding file. It turns out, "Project Robin Hood" is based on the infamous Robert Lifton's theories regarding brainwashing, which Mr. Worthington has used on heroes to create the members of the Greater Good. The file also states that the brainwashing process Mr. Worthington uses is irreversible. After finding and defeating Mr. Worthington himself, a note falls out of his pocket, listing several assassination targets he had set up for the former heroes he converted. My final task is to set up bombs throughout the entire map, with members of the Greater Good attempting to stop me every time I planted a bomb. Oddly enough, the Greater Good members that were my allies when I first entered the mission still are, and they even fight the Greater Good members trying to stop me if they get close enough. After planting all the bombs, I ext the mission just before the entire organization goes up in flames. I return to find Angela Goodheart crying, and she informs me that many people will wonder if my character's a hero or a villain after this, but she tells me that my character will "always be a hero" to her. Story Arc complete.

Final Thoughts:

Alright, knowing that this arc was originally an entry into Dr. Aeon's Challenge, I have to admit that at first I thought that the whole "doing evil for the greater good" premise was pretty heavy-handed (I mean, look at the name of the custom group) until I got to the last mission. The fact that the author was able to create a resoultion to the story while maintaining the theme was pretty clever, and, having reviewed this author's previous arc, shows just how far this author has come with the AE system and storywriting in general.

However, I did find some minor flaws I'll address now. First of all, the beginning of the arc seems unnecessary. The author mentions "Captain Courageous", who introduces the player's character to "Dr. Allura", who in turn introduces the player's character to the contact for this arc. Why? Neither of these characters are seen or even mentioned again throughout the course of this arc, and it seems like their only purpose is to introduce the player to Angela Goodheart. But the arc description states that the player's character might be doing things they don't normally do throughout this arc, so why not just have the player's character decide to check out "The Greater Good" organization from the outset? I've played several other arcs which have the player's character do much more "out of character" actions to begin an arc, and none of those had warnings in their descriptions

Second of all (and much more nit-picky), the dialogue. While most of the dialogue in this arc is a vast improvement over the first time I played an arc by this author, I did note a couple of areas where it could be improved. For example, one of Mr. Worthington's bits of dialogue in the final mission ends with him saying something along the lines of "You came here serve the Greater Good." Considering Mr. Worthington's apprent surprise (at least that's how I interpreted that moment), it might be more approrpriate for Mr. Worthington to say "Didn't you come here to serve the Greater Good?" or just "You came here to serve the Greater Good, right?" Or, if the author meant for the line to be more of a command (Worthington is supposed to be a master of brainwashing, after all), perhaps something more like "Serve the Greater Good, I command you!"

Finally (and probably my largest point of confusion in this arc), Angela Goodheart. I found Goodheart to be somewhat of a double-edged sword in this regard; on the one hand, I definitely found her to be the most interesting character in this arc (even though she never appears in any mission), but on the other hand, the player never really finds out anything about her. It's stated in the final mission that there's no cure to Worthington's brainwashing, yet Goodheart seems to free herself from the brainwashing with no help from the player's character. It's heavily implied that she's the one leaving the player notes throughout all of the missions, yet she seems to happily hand the player's character all of the Greater Good's assignments until the final mission. And neither her contact bio nor the final mission outro give any indication as to how or why she wanted to destroy the Greater Good. From what we learn, it can be assumed that perhaps she broke free of Worthington's mind control and wated to see the organization destroyed, but again, how did she break out of the mind control in the first place?

In the end, this was a very hard arc to rate; I was going back and forth between 4 and 5 stars for some time, but in the end, the final mission won me over. The final mission really pulled this whole arc together, and while the execution wasn't perfect, I felt this arc really exemplified the theme of "doing evil for the greater good". For any players who like running through entries into Dr. Aeon's challenge, I would highly recommend giving this arc a try. Officially, a 4.5 star arc, but I'll round that up to...

Final Score: 5 Stars

It's been awhile since I last posted a review, and this thread is (unfortunately) still closed for the time being, but hopefully that will change by the end of this month

Anyway, since The_Hound ran through and provided some nice feedback for my first "Galactic Protectorate" arc, I'm going to do an "in-depth" review of one of The_Hound's arcs today

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Arc Name: Praetorian Ambition

Author: The_Hound

Character Used: Level 43 Electric Melee / Electric Armor Brute

Mission 1: Prove Your Worth

The contact for this arc is Anti-Matter, a Praetorian I rarely see used in the AE System, so this was a nice change of pace. Anti-Matter makes it clear to the player from the beginning that his goal is nothing less than the conquest of Primal Earth, and he needs the player's character to help achieve that end. The first task given to the player is to rescue at least three scientists from a Portal Corporation lab under attack by the Circle of Thorns. As an aside, I like the different text colors the author uses throughout the arc to highlight the objectives and the names of the Praetorians.

Inside the mission, I quickly find the first scientist and rescue him from the Circle of Thorns. I expected I would have to lead him to the exit, but surprisingly he left on his own. While I'm sure there are many players who prefer not having to lead hostages through maps, Anti-Matter stated in the mission send-off that he would have his minions waiting for them outside, so I personally found it a little disappointing that we never get to "see" that in dialog or clues. Anyway, rescuing the last scientist triggers an ambush, which I quickly dispatch and then proceed to exit the mission. The mission outro makes it clear that Anti-Matter has already spoken with the scientists, and learned a great deal about Primal Earth, the Freedom Phalanx, and his alternate self, Positron.

Mission 2: Jealous Arrangements

The next step in Anti-Matter's plan involves Neuron, Anti-Matter's rival for Emperor Cole's good graces. More specifically, it involves Neuron's greatest creation, Siege. It turns out, Neuron's planning to create another Siege android, equal in power to the original. Anti-Matter is going to send the player's character to destroy this new Siege android before it can be built, thus not only hindering Neuron's "lead" on Anti-Matter, but also making it look like Primal Earth has launched an attack against Neuron, which will help Anti-Matter in the next phase of his plan.

My task is simple: find the four crates which contain the parts of the new Siege android, and destroy them. The mission is primarily filled with Siege's minions, but the crates themselves are guarded by Neuron's minions. Regardless, I easily find and destroy the four crates, thus completing the mission. Returning to Anti-Matter, it seems all has gone according to plan, as Neuron has sent Siege to obliterate Paragon City, the "home of Portal Corporation".

Mission 3: The World Has Ears

With Siege unknowingly leading the charge, Anti-Matter plans to teleport his forces to Primal Earth to stage an attack on Paragon City. However, before he can launch his assault, he first needs to neutralize a Longbow outpost before they can call in reinforcements. Anti-Matter is relying on the player's character to infiltrate the outpost, find the base commander, and "destroy his pathetic life" (the author might want to consider changing that line to "end his pathetic life", as I think that sounds less awkward; just a suggestion).

As I enter the mission, the first thing I notice is that the Longbow base is basically completely empty, save for the base commander and guards at the end of the mission. After defeating "Commander Rochen" and his guards, I get a clue (first clue of the arc, it turns out) which states: It's a Trap! and Longbow has been expecting me. Furthermore, Longbow knows of my involvement with Anti-Matter and has laid this trap specifically to capture me. This is made all the more obvious as the mission is now filled with Longbow, and I now have to take out the "Ambush Leader", which turns out to be a Longbow Ballista named "Lt. Gillon". After a long fight, I emerge victorious and return to Anti-Matter, who comments that Primal Earth isn't as "stupid" as he thought, and commends me for escaping capture.

Mission 4: The Invasion

Anti-Matter has began to teleport his minions to Primal Earth, and has sent Nightstar to assist Siege in the... well... siege of Paragon City, but there is one obstacle left in his path to victory. Well, three obstacles left, as it were. Three of the Vindicators (Ms. Liberty, Swan, and Valkyrie) are aiding the Longbow forces, and it falls upon the player's character to help turn the tide of battle back in Anti-Matter's favor. Of course, both Siege and Nightstar will help once the player finds them.

After entering the mission, I quickly find Nightstar and rescue her. Once I've done that, I search for the Vindicators, but run into Siege first. Once I have both of my allies, the rest of the mission is incredibly easy. Both Siege and Nightstar are powerful enough to take out any enemy (including the Vindicators) with little or no help from me, and there are wandering Anti-Matter minions which are also my allies, making the mission much easier than it would have been otherwise. Once the last Vindicator falls, I get a mission complete clue which describes a large reinforcement of Longbow, as well as the Freedom Phalanx themselves, who arrive to push back Anti-Matter's minions. My character flees the "losing battle", knowing Anti-Matter will be upset that his plans have failed. Anti-Matter is indeed upset, but admires how "useful" my character was, and gives me a medallion as a sign of my "loyalty to the Praetorian Guard". He muses that my character "might be able to surpass Emperor Cole one day". Story Arc Complete.

Final Thoughts

All things considered, this was a very straight-forward, enjoyable arc. There weren't many clues (in fact, I only counted two throughout the entire arc), but the story surprisingly turned out just fine despite that. Of course, I do have some nitpicks

Fist of all, I found it a bit surprising that Anti-Matter didn't know all that much about Primal Earth, the Freedom Phalanx, or Positron before the player's character brings back the Portal Corporation scientists. It was to my understanding (though I may be mistaken) that Anti-Matter and the rest of the Praetorians learned a great deal about Primal Earth during the hero-side high-level Praetorian story arcs in the main game. If I recall correctly, both Anti-Matter and Neuron invade a lab in Primal Earth Paragon City during one of Tina Macintyre's missions. So, it seemed just a bit odd to me that Anti-Matter wouldn't know at least that much about Primal Earth. Of course, it's possible that this arc takes place before those events, but if that's the case, the author might want to consider pointing that fact out at the beginning of the arc.

Second of all, the third mission. While (I think) I understood the basic premise of attacking the Longbow outpost, there was little to no explanation as to how Longbow knew that I was collaborating with Anti-Matter, just that they did. It's not vitally important to explain how, I know, but it would be nice if the author expanded on that point a bit. Also, the wording gave me the impression that Anti-Matter was teleporting his minions right next to a Longbow base (or in the general area, at least), and I needed to take out the outpost to prevent them from calling in reinforcements. However, reinforcements are called in at the end of the final mission anyway (again with no explanation), which seemed to invalidate the player's actions in the previous mission. Again, I don't mind this occurring, it would just be nice to get some explanation as to how. Ms. Liberty mentions reinforcements when the player defeats her, so perhaps adding a clue after her defeat would help.

Finally, the clue at the end of the last mission. While the writing nicely describes the events that happen, this is one instance where it might actually be better to SHOW the player a scenario rather than describe it in text. This is just a suggestion, but with both Siege and Nightstar as allies, along with the wandering Anti-Matter minions, it would be interesting if the author added several members of the Freedom Phalanx to fight (guarded by Longbow, of course) after the Vindicators' defeat. Of course, I don't know how much free file space this arc has left, so (as with all of my suggestions) it's completely up to the author.

Overall, I would recommend this arc for anyone who's impatiently waiting for "Going Rogue". The ending more or less "sets up" the player for the events that will be occurring once the expansion comes out, and it gives villainous characters another "big name" villain to work under. If I had to give an exact score, I'd say this arc is a solid 4.5 stars, but as it is...

Final Score: 5 Stars

Thanks for the reciew Mirror_Man! To answer some of your questions...

I haven't really spent much time hero-side for a while, and I think I've only played a minimum of Tina Macintyre's missions. I did skim 'n' scan some basic info which was on ParagonWiki about it but overall I guess I will have to hop onto Ouroboros for a bit.

For your second nitpick, the entire outpost was supposed to be the diversion, as it wasn't really a communications centre, just something to draw you and Anti-Matter's attention. There was mention of this in the first clue you pick up, but I know that I didn't explain that very well. I'll fix that.

I'll add some ambushes and optional bosses to the final mission just to show the player what's happening.

Thanks alot for the review again, I'm glad you enjoyed it!

(Checks date of last post in Thread)

Well, it's been awhile since I've last done a review, and the break at which I hoped I'd be able to continue doing Quid Pro Quo reviews in this thread never came to pass, unfortunately.

As it is, I'm still far too busy with RL issues to re-open this thread just yet, and almost all of the free time I have in-game has been devoted to completing "The Galactic Protectorate - 07" (whose "release date" I've had to push back for ANOTHER month). Add in the re-working of my previous "Galactic Protectorate" arcs after I've published "The Galactic Protectorate - 07", and my free time is pretty much booked solid for at least the rest of the month.

However, I did find enough time today to play an enjoyable AE arc (though it was mostly because I wanted to take a break from working on my own arc), and I decided to write up a review for it. The author of this arc has actually given me some nice feedback on my first two "Galactic Protectorate" arcs, and since I noticed that one of the author's recently published arcs didn't have any ratings at the time, I decided to give it a try.

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Arc Name: Uranmensch: The Atomic Man

Author: Stone-Fox

Character Used: Level 50 Dual Blades / Willpower Scrapper

Mission 1: Once Upon a Time

The contact of this arc is a custom character named "Blau Schwann", and right off the bat I can tell that a lot of work went into this arc. The contact has a well-written description, I found the contact's costume design superb, and the liberal use of the German language serves as a prelude to the theme of the arc. Blau Schwann informs the player that she comes from an alternate past where Nazi Germany developed nuclear capabilities before the Allied Powers during World War II. Blau Schwann is forming a small band of individuals with extraordinary powers to combat the Nazis, and she has chosen the player's character to come over to her timeline to help her.

The first task is to recruit "Hans the Hedgehog", a hero based on the famous Brothers Grimm character. Blau Schwann informs the player's character that Hans can be found in "The Black Forest".

Unfortunately, it seems that the 5th Column has beaten the player to the punch, as Hans (as well as several Fairy folk) have been taken hostage. Upon freeing Hans, the player and Hans must defeat "Blood Wolf" (a re-colored War Wolf boss) who's dialogue is reminiscent of a certain OTHER wolf from another Grimm Fairy Tale.

Mission 2: Waking a Sleeping Giant

With Hans the Hedgehog added to the team, Blau Schwann focuses her attention to the one being destined to be the final member of the Resistance, the Golem. She's tracked the Golem's location to an abandoned warehouse outside of Munich, and wants the player's character to retrieve it. Before leaving, she informs the player that the Golem must be "activated" (a reference to the classic "Golem of Prague" folklore) before it can achieve sentience, and as such must seek out the "Protector" watching over the Golem to learn the method of activation.

Of course, the 5th Column has once again beaten the player to the punch, with both the Protector and the Golem being held captive. Upon rescuing the Protector, he informs the player that he was forced into telling the 5th Column the method of awakening the Golem in exchange for his family's safety. After instructing the player in how to awaken the Golem as well, the Protector quickly runs to the nearest exit. Fortunately, it seems the 5th Column haven't awakened the Golem by the time the player finds it, and upon rescuing the Golem the mission is completed. Interestingly, an optional boss, "Baron von Cullen", appears at this time, but he has no dialogue, leaves no clue upon defeat, and seems to be just a named Vampyri boss.

Mission 3: The Uranmensch

After giving an impressively well-written speech, Blau Schwann informs the player that it is time to take down the titular "Uranmensch", the Uranium Man. She tells the player that the Uranmensch is completely invincible as long as it is in range of one of three "Uranium Cores", which are constantly transmitting energy to the Uranmensch. Once those three cores are taken out, the Uranmensch will have to rely on it's own internal uranium power core, which will allow the Resistance a small window of opportunity to defeat him (though Schwann still expects a tough fight).

Upon meeting up with Schwann, Hans, and the Golem, and taking out the three power cores, the Uranmensch arrives. Even with three boss-level allies, the Uranmensch is a challenging fight, but not an impossible one. After defeating the Uranmensch, only one last task remained.

Mission 4: In the Eagle's Nest

So, Blau Schwann's tracked down the Fuhrer's lair, and is ready to storm the place and take him out with the player's help.

...Wait, what?

OK... the arc seems to be pulling a Quentin Tarantino. Not that perserving the timeline really matters at this point, considering how much has already been altered.

Inside the mission, the main objective is to track down and defeat the Fuhrer, who's being guarded by still more 5th Column. Upon defeating the Fuhrer, the player finds out via a clue that the Fuhrer was actually just a robot decoy and the whole mission was a trap from the start. This is enforced by having multiple ambushes of 5th Column soldiers appear as the player fights his/her way to the exit.

...Again, what?

In any case, Blau Schwann bids the player's character farewell as he/she is returned to his/her own timeline. Story Arc complete.

Final Thoughts

Alright... despite the odd ending (which I'll discuss in greater detail below), I found this to be an incredibly well-written and designed arc. The author obviously knows his/her Germanic mythos, I found the design of all of the custom characters to be incredible, and I couldn't find a single spelling/grammatical error throughout the entire arc. The amount of effort that went into this arc is apparent in every mission, and as a result I'll make the following suggestions to the author which I think will give the arc the "polish" it deserves:

First of all, the mission headings. Giving each mission a title and sub-title is a great step towards making the arc look "professional", but I think it would help if the author made the mission headings a different font size and/or a different font color than the rest of the mission dialogue; this should help the mission heading stand out from the rest of the text in every mission intro.

Second, the dialogue. There's a comparatively sparse amount of dialogue throughout the arc, but what little there is I found quite clever (particularly the dialogue in the third mission). It might help to add a few more lines of dialogue to some of the custom allies/bosses in the arc (for example, the optional boss at the end of the second mission, who had NO dialogue when I played through). The author doesn't have to fill in every dialogue box available, but adding some more lines to say, Blau Schwann (who I found to be one of the most interesting characters in the arc) in the third mission might help to characterize her a bit more. Again, just a suggestion.

Finally, a small nitpick in the third mission: When the player's character destroys the first Uranium Core, a clue pops up which states that the player has destroyed ALL of the Uranium Cores. This is a common problem when creating multiple instances of a destructible object; keep in mind that whenever a clue is attached to those instances it will show up in the player's clue log after the player has destroyed the FIRST instance of that object, not the last. The author might wish to re-word the clue for the Uranium Cores to better reflect this.

Aside from those nitpicks, there's the matter of the final mission. To be honest, I was surprised there even WAS a fourth mission after the player defeated the titular Uranmensch. To find out that the final mission involved defeating the Fuhrer himself was even more jarring, and then finding out the Fuhrer was actually just a robot decoy was... well, just plain weird. On the other hand, I can honestly say that no other MA arc I've played has allowed the player to fight the Fuhrer himself, and having a robotic Fuhrer decoy is such a comic book cliche that it seems improper to complain about it in a comic book based MMO. So, I'm not really sure what to make of the last mission. Sure, it kind of comes out of left field, but it's such a refreshing change from the other WWII-based MA arcs I've played that I can't really fault the author for adding it.

Overall, I think this arc definitely deserves more recognition than it currently has. I may have been the first player to play through and rate it, but I sincerely hope I'm not the last. This arc is a must for any player who enjoys World War II based arcs, and even players who aren't as crazy about such arcs (such as myself) should at least give this arc a try. If this is the level of quality we can expect from this author's future MA arcs, I think he/she would be a great addition to the AE community.

Final Score: 5 Stars

Hey Mirror_Man, this is Stone-Fox (aka Seahammer).

Thanks for the glowing review, I really appreciate your kind words and your very useful constructive criticism. I've given the whole arc another once-over and updated it with some additional dialogue, colored the titles, added a character description as well as dialogue for Baron von Cullen, re-worded the clue for the Uranium Core, and also added some foreshadowing for the final mission.

After I updated the arc, I played through it again, and I have to hand it to you: it plays much better now. I even went back to my other published arc (The Gypsy Chronicles) and applied some of your suggestions there. Thanks a million!

I'm really flattered that you liked the story/writing. I've got a few more ideas for my next arc, but I'm going to be busy for a while so I don't know when I'll get a chance to put my next one together. In the meantime, you should check out The Gypsy Chronicles . When I've got the time, I'll also jump back into your Galactic Protectorate multi-arc!