Arc ID: 232417 - The Hero Who Loved Me


Az'rial

 

Posted

Arc Name: The Hero Who Loved Me
Arc ID: 232417
Levels: 45-50
Faction: Neutral
Creator Global/Forum Name: @Jade-Star
Difficulty Level: Medium

Synopsis: During a Rikti assault on Paragon City, a legendary hero goes missing. You must team up with Turbo Starr and unravel a mystery that may spell the end of Paragon City!

I'd appreciate feedback on this arc. I want to make sure the clues and dialogue are understandable, so any comments on maps/story parts/clues/dialogue is appreciated!

Pay close attention to the clues and dialogue, as well as what transpires throughout the story. It is intended to be a prologue to a much larger story continued in future arcs.

I think you will all have fun with this arc. It has a little bit of everything, and not everything is what it seems

Thanks!


Shard Warrior - 50 MA/Regen/BM Scrapper

Founding Member and Leader : Shadow-Force
Co-Leader: Council of Heroes
"Whatever evils come this way... we will be there to stop them."

 

Posted

Gonna try this arc out. Will give you feedback soon.


 

Posted

@GlaziusF

Ice/axe tanker. High 30s. Diff 2 for ~goodfights~.

---

Us, huh? Okay, buddy, let's see if you actually show on the ground.

Y'know, if every second counts shouldn't there be a timer?

Wow. That's a crowded objective bar. How much of that is actually mandatory?

Well, what do you know, he actually showed up. Alright, let's kick some -- oh man. Ohhhhh man. Okay. I would like you to think about this:

Focused Senses boosts perception.

Quickness boosts run speed.

Rikti monkey gas makes allies flip out and run the hell away.

Put them all together and it's the amazing Two Rooms Away Man!

I hope I can fly solo for a bit later on.

Also, the Longbow in charge of the base is an ordinary minigunner. Was that intended?

Wow, looks like they were all required. I'm not really sure what you can do to collapse everything - maybe lump all the rescues together?

---

Make up your mind whether the contact spells out his contractions or not. "I have" -> "she has not" -> "I've" -> me going "whuh?"

Guy, it's okay. Heroes can help heroes for no reason at all. I am not your damn relationship counselor, nor does this seem like an appropriate time.

This is going to end up being somebody else who thinks an appropriate memorial for a lost loved one is destroying everything else they ever loved, isn't it? I only ask because I've seen it twice and something's rubbing me the wrong way now.

...wow, if this was actually a Crey plan, there are just so many ways for it to fail. In the middle of a Rikti invasion, deliberately take out one base's defenses and hope that out of all the chaos one particular hero shows up?

Nothing really interesting on the top floor, wonder what's through the secret elevator...

Oh, peachy. He Who Must Be Blamed?

So Countess Crey and Nemesis walk into a covert Arachnos base. Countess Crey says "Is that a USB drive in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

Nemesis isn't some Republic serial villain. He'll only tell you what his plan is if he's pulled it off sometime in the past three dozen minutes or so. So why do I have a feeling that the anachronistic clue Big Brass dropped is going to turn into a lead?

Yyyyyep. Look, man, three rules of heroing: Shoot Straight. Conserve Your Inspirations. Never, Never Take A Lead From Lord Nemesis.

---

Carnies now. I guess we haven't gotten all the irritating psychic AVs out of the way.

...okay, Lady Borgia would never say "yucky". More like "uncouth", and I don't believe there's a Freak who's ever couthed in his eventful little life.

Okay, look. Vanessa may be a party girl living in a party world, but that party world is Renaissance-era Italy. Even if she has her mind back at this point, and I have no idea if that's true or not, Giovanna Scaldi has been talking through her mouth for years now and that's not something you just give up.

Agh Malta! Agh Sappers! Agh... they're not firing at me. Um...

Okay, random run-in from the defense force of... the same supergroup Fanboy in the first mission was from. That's not disturbing at all.

Suuuuure there are worse things than all the villains out there, Mr. Malta guy. Brainwashingparamilitaryorganizationthattriedtodes troyParagonCitywithagiantrobotsaysWHAT?

Malta are on the scale of "dudes you should trust" somewhere just very slightly above Nemesis. Their modus operandi is brainwashing and information warfare.

But we're going to trust them as well, aren't we? Yes, yes we are.

---

Look, my contact, you can't just throw half the Malta statement out as bull and take the other half of the statement at face value!

Arachnos... and the Council... in a 5th column base. This is turning into like MA Mad Libs at a distressing rate.

Oh, it's THAT 5th column base. You should be advised, one of the boss locations is up a dozen flights of stairs on the catwalk overlooking the little "parade ground".

GUESS WHERE NOSFY SPAWNS.

...Bonedog. BONEDOG. That's a level 0 Skull functionary name. ...his description is his name. That's, uh, that's real helpful there.

He's Thugs/Rad. I have no clue why.

Why hello there, Gang War. Or should I call you ENERGY ABSORB MAX.

Almost makes up for the rad debuff.

So, alright. The guys coordinating every freakin' high-stakes villain group in possibly the world and planning something unknown, but probably evil, are named TORQUE and BONEDOG.

Those are names that you might expect to have some trouble breaking into a modestly well reinforced pawn shop.

---

Yeah, uh, mind cluing me in on your relationship to this guy, my contact? This guy who shares your last name? Is he like your evil duplicate from another dimension or a clone that got all uppity or perhaps your former auto mechanic grandfather?

No timer on the mission. It's probably already too late.

...it's an Arachnos base, intro text, but given that people can't make SG bases in MA I guess I can forgive it. But... how is this a heroic rescue? It's some guy's girlfriend from another guy who hates him. This is like, 80's teen movie rescue at best.

Okay, descriptive text, I can guess they're loyal minions of the faction they're described as being from. Anything else you want to tell me? No? Okay then.

So. Rescue over... an emp/rad AV? Ooookay. Looks like an ordinary EB out there, and given that she's boosting her boyfriend I decide to just walk away for a drink of water, and the fight's over when I get back.

I check the guy's info before he fades away, and yep, Praetorian Contact.

Oh good, I'm doubting someone as a result of all this. It's... the guy from Freedom Corps. Because apparently it was completely impossible for Crey to change their mimic-Rikti virus to bypass existing protections.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT.

With all the dubious links in the chain of events leading up to the final mission, I doubt THE FIRST ONE? That's like marking Charlie Chaplin down in a Charlie Chaplin lookalike contest where the other entries are a broom, a block of gelatin, and a small silver bowl full of pudding!

Oh, and my contact's getting married. THIS won't end horribly.

----

Storyline - *. So... every villain group and perhaps some hero groups are teaming up to... to... Gaw, I don't know, put on the veryest specialest episode of "This is Your Life" for Statesman? I follow quite possibly the least probable chain of clues ever to get to the end of this all... and why was I even here again? My MA/SR ally could probably just solo all of this stuff himself if it wasn't for the persistent ally range issues.

Design - *. The secret Arachnos warehouse and the 5th Column's Last Stand maps don't really fit the groups you put on them much, if at all. Vanessa for some reason shows up not very far into the abandoned warehouse map, leaving about half of it completely pointless.

Gameplay - ***. Even when the Rikti monkey gas wasn't making him cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, my ally still loved to run ahead and slaughter everything. And the "final battle" was over in a handful of seconds without me even having to do anything. Not the fifteen minutes of sweaty-palmed button-mashing action I was expecting.

Detail - **. I have real trouble believing Torque and Bonedog as global-level threats, if that wasn't already clear. The rather anemic descriptions on the enemy group minions and lieutenants seem rather out of place, compared to the lavish bios that my contact and his Praetorian self manage.

Overall - *. As a setup for a larger arc this actually seems completely unnecessary. I mean, I come out the other end knowing pretty much nothing more than when I went in. You've heard of "in medias res", right? Starting a story in the middle? Really I think there'd be a lot to gain from like a hero getting a wedding invitation and showing up to find the place a mess and the "bride" hovering in the air surrounded by a malevolent energy aura saying "FOOL! How could you not recognize I, the malificent Rats E. Daj? My weakling reflection from your world is nothing more than a battery for our Omnivoid Ripper now, and there's nothing you can do to stop us from DESTROYING TIME AND/OR SPACE!"

Or, y'know, whatever you had planned for the future of all of this. I've got no idea what the shape is of things to come. And if this is a prequel of sorts, shouldn't I?


Up with the overworld! Up with exploration! | Want a review of your arc?

My arcs: Dream Paper (ID: 1874) | Bricked Electronics (ID: 2180) | The Bravuran Jobs (ID: 5073) | Backwards Day (ID: 329000) | Operation Fair Trade (ID: 391172)

 

Posted

Thank you for taking the time to run through the arc. I appreciate the feedback.

I wanted to sift through your convoluted commentary to glean what (I think) are the major points you are trying to get across. While I can see some of what you are saying is valid, overall I feel the criticisms you make on several other aspects as well as the overall rating far too harsh.

I'll respond to each so forgive this as it will be a lengthy post and my apologies for the spoilers here for those who have not run this yet.

First;

[ QUOTE ]
Ice/axe tanker. High 30s. Diff 2 for ~goodfights~.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm curious how you were able to complete a level 45-50 content arc on a "High 30s Ice/axe tanker"?

[ QUOTE ]
Us, huh? Okay, buddy, let's see if you actually show on the ground.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes, it is up to the both of you. The contact clearly states that heroes are spread out all over the city and otherwise occupied. That should be abundantly clear to anyone who can read.


[ QUOTE ]
Y'know, if every second counts shouldn't there be a timer?

[/ QUOTE ]

Possibly, but what would be the point of it? How would that improve the mission? The Rikti are invading, not just stopping by to shoot a few Longbow and then head back to their ship.

Just to add to this; timers (at least IMO) add an unneccessary means for failing a mission and breaking the immersion of a story. As a "reviewer", you should be knowledgeable of how the MA works and the limitations it has in the potential immersion problems with mission failures.

Should a timer expire before completion and the mission fails, you are shown the "Mission Fail Text". And yet when you receive the next mission from the contact, it would seem like you haven't failed and saved the day afterall.

When the MA allows for alternate story threads based on completion succesess or failure, then I might agree. This is something I personally take into consideration when running other player arcs. I do not hold the limitations of the MA against anyone.

[ QUOTE ]
Wow. That's a crowded objective bar. How much of that is actually mandatory?

[/ QUOTE ]

Why yes it is and all of it is mandatory. Again, the Rikti are invading the place. Would you not expect to see some wounded that needed tending to? Bombs that needed to be destroyed?

Second, you are the first to comment on this being "too much" to do. Other feedback I have received on this arc have all said they enjoyed these types of missions. The overwhelming majority of standard content is either defeat boss, defeat all, click objects etc. Most all people I know who either run player created arcs or create their own stories like the "flavor" the MA provides in this area. You can create/run content that is something different for a change.

I guess it is just a preference thing here. I don't feel that the amount of objectives is overdone in this mission.


[ QUOTE ]
Okay. I would like you to think about this:

Focused Senses boosts perception.

Quickness boosts run speed.

Rikti monkey gas makes allies flip out and run the hell away.

Put them all together and it's the amazing Two Rooms Away Man!


[/ QUOTE ]

First, I will clarify the ally is not a character of my own creation. He is the main character of a friend of mine on Triumph server. His powersets are exactly the same as my friends character.

Second, I understand fully how powers work and their effect in the MA when faced with things such as caltrops, mudpots, Rikti gas etc. I also see here that you do not understand how allies in the MA work. Focused Senses and Quickness have nothing to do with characters running off due to Rikti gas. Any ally of any powerset combination would do the same. Again, this is a limitation within the MA system itself. Personally, I find it immersive in other player created arcs I have tried to have allies that "run off" and do their own thing. It makes them more "real".

Third, I've run this arc on my tankers, scrappers, defender and blaster and had no real issues with him running "two rooms away". Sure, he may run out of range of the monkey gas (if any at all), but there is not much I can do about that... any custom character will do that. Again, as a "reviewer" of MA created content, you should be knowledgeable enough to understand it is a limitation of the MA system in general and outside the creator control.

Lastly, if as a tanker you are unable to control aggro sufficiently to keep all enemies focused on you (and thereby keeping allies within range), I don't know what to tell you. I invite you to either roll a toon or transfer one to Triumph server where I would be happy to run this again with you on one of my tankers. Perhaps you can learn how to properly and effectively manage aggro on a tanker.


[ QUOTE ]
Also, the Longbow in charge of the base is an ordinary minigunner. Was that intended?

[/ QUOTE ]

Not intended, but point taken and I can agree. I will update the character to a more fitting Longbow NPC. I had originally wanted to create her as a custom character, but ran out of file space unfortunately.


[ QUOTE ]
Wow, looks like they were all required. I'm not really sure what you can do to collapse everything - maybe lump all the rescues together?

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm curious as to why it would need to "collapse everything"? To be very honest, there is not all that much for you to do in this mission. Were you expecting to run into a 1 room map with 3 enemies to defeat? Again, the story for this mission is the Rikti are invading the Longbow Base. The contact clearly spells out to you in the introduction and accept dialogue that other heroes are spread throughout the city. Some heroes have already responded, but further calls for reinforcements are coming in. After reading this, you should be expecting a busy mission.


[ QUOTE ]
Make up your mind whether the contact spells out his contractions or not. "I have" -> "she has not" -> "I've" -> me going "whuh?"

[/ QUOTE ]

Point taken. I will go through the text again and update to make it more uniform.

[ QUOTE ]
Guy, it's okay. Heroes can help heroes for no reason at all. I am not your damn relationship counselor, nor does this seem like an appropriate time.

This is going to end up being somebody else who thinks an appropriate memorial for a lost loved one is destroying everything else they ever loved, isn't it? I only ask because I've seen it twice and something's rubbing me the wrong way now.

[/ QUOTE ]

First, this whole part makes no sense to me. The title of the arc itself should give anyone a pretty clear indication there is something of a romantic aspect in the story. I question your ability to be an "objective" reviewer of any story content where you are already forming opinions on a given story based on others you have run before. It sounds to me here like you had already made your mind up at this point and did not pay any real attention to the remainder of the story. I'll come back to this again as you mentioned it later on in your review.

Second, the storyline required an introduction that these two characters have a history together. As the writer, I know these two characters, their story and history (and so do my friends on Triumph) but others don't. If I did not introduce this, the player who does not know these characters has no way of finding this out. He also does not ask for any kind of "relationship counseling", so I've no idea where that tangent thought comes from. The contact provides you with some backstory and history for these characters. This is not an uncommon thing in CoX (ie. Maticore and Sister Psyche) or in comics in general. I can cite you numerous examples from the various comic universes if you like.

Lastly, I wanted to have a reason why the contact seems to overlook some key things within the story. My intent was to have him somewhat blinded by his feelings as to not pay attention to certain things fully. I did not want him to come across as some idiot and leave the deciphering of clues and such to the player. Just my opinion here, but I do have a brain and do not find it necessary to have contacts for every mission spoon feed me everything.

[ QUOTE ]
...wow, if this was actually a Crey plan, there are just so many ways for it to fail. In the middle of a Rikti invasion, deliberately take out one base's defenses and hope that out of all the chaos one particular hero shows up?

Nothing really interesting on the top floor, wonder what's through the secret elevator...

Oh, peachy. He Who Must Be Blamed?

So Countess Crey and Nemesis walk into a covert Arachnos base. Countess Crey says "Is that a USB drive in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

[/ QUOTE ]

99% of this is convoluted thought tangents, but from this I get two major things; the use of an Arachnos warehouse map and the USB drive you find on Nemesis. I would agree the clue you get from Nemesis probably does not fit his character, so I will change where/how this clue is received. It is probably more suitable to something you find in the desk along with the other clues in this mission.

As far as the map, at first glance it may seem odd and not appropriate, but as this is only the second mission and Arachnos do appear later in the 4th mission, I do not agree with the criticism of the map. I would understand it if Arachnos never appeared in the story at all, but since they do and Nemeis/Countess Crey are mentioning "alliances", I don't believe the map needs changing. At most, I may update the mission entry pop-up for this one to make mention of that "you find it curious that there is Arachnos tech here".

It should be fairly obvious to anyone who can read why the Crey may be in an Arachnos warehouse. Were you to paying attention to the dialogue of Nemesis and Countess Crey in this mission, you would have an idea why.

[ QUOTE ]
Nemesis isn't some Republic serial villain. He'll only tell you what his plan is if he's pulled it off sometime in the past three dozen minutes or so. So why do I have a feeling that the anachronistic clue Big Brass dropped is going to turn into a lead?

[/ QUOTE ]

Point taken and I agree. While Nemesis himself tells you nothing, the clue you received from him works better if found in the desk. I will update the story accordingly.

[ QUOTE ]
Yyyyyep. Look, man, three rules of heroing: Shoot Straight. Conserve Your Inspirations. Never, Never Take A Lead From Lord Nemesis.

[/ QUOTE ]

Again, Nemesis himself reveals nothing. It was a clue you found on him, and as I have said I will change this to something more suitable.


[ QUOTE ]
Carnies now. I guess we haven't gotten all the irritating psychic AVs out of the way.

[/ QUOTE ]

AVs are meant to be tough. It is just a preference, but I prefer a challenge as do most others I team with on a regular basis. Just as a suggestion, but when you read the mission details at the MA terminal and saw that each mission contains a Boss, perhaps you might consider teaming? I can solo this arc with no real difficulties on my tank. If the EBs/AVs are too much for you alone, find a team.

[ QUOTE ]
...okay, Lady Borgia would never say "yucky". More like "uncouth", and I don't believe there's a Freak who's ever couthed in his eventful little life.

Okay, look. Vanessa may be a party girl living in a party world, but that party world is Renaissance-era Italy. Even if she has her mind back at this point, and I have no idea if that's true or not, Giovanna Scaldi has been talking through her mouth for years now and that's not something you just give up.

[/ QUOTE ]

Again, more convoluted thought tangents that ignore the (very important) dialogue of the AV.

This is the part I am hoping you can provide some further clarification if you would not mind as it is one of the most important aspects of the arc;

[ QUOTE ]
Agh Malta! Agh Sappers! Agh... they're not firing at me. Um...

Okay, random run-in from the defense force of... the same supergroup Fanboy in the first mission was from. That's not disturbing at all.

[/ QUOTE ]

I am glad that you found this surprising and disturbing as that is the intent of the encounter. When running this with a team, it has been fun to hear the "Malta? Oh crap!" cries from teammates when they show up.

I am curious if you were able to understand that "something" was going on here and that it is clear enough through dialogue that it was important for Vanessa to be "shut up"? Also, did it not strike you as odd that the Omega Force Bots show up as well and they are of the same group from the "hero reinforcement" of the first mission?


[ QUOTE ]
Suuuuure there are worse things than all the villains out there, Mr. Malta guy. Brainwashingparamilitaryorganizationthattriedtodes troyParagonCitywithagiantrobotsaysWHAT?

Malta are on the scale of "dudes you should trust" somewhere just very slightly above Nemesis. Their modus operandi is brainwashing and information warfare.

But we're going to trust them as well, aren't we? Yes, yes we are.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes, you are. While the Malta are noted for secrets within secrets, brainwashing and all that other stuff, they did come to your aid. What their motiviation is for that remains to be seen as I explained in my initial post that this entire arc is a "prelude" to something larger. I will come back to this point at the end of my post.

[ QUOTE ]
Look, my contact, you can't just throw half the Malta statement out as bull and take the other half of the statement at face value!

[/ QUOTE ]

Why not? At this point, it is the only lead you have. Also, this kind of thing happens numerous times throughout the game when you have dealt with traitors and turncoats. I personally have also seen this in many player created story arcs. It should not be alien to you.

[ QUOTE ]
Arachnos... and the Council... in a 5th column base. This is turning into like MA Mad Libs at a distressing rate.

[/ QUOTE ]

The only piece here that I can agree with is it being a 5th column base. I suppose I do not need remind you of CoX lore in that the 5th Column was overthrown by the Council, so it is within the realm of possibility to anyone with knowledge of the game history that they have access to old 5th Column bases. I will not change the map, but I will update the text from the contact to make note that it is an old 5th facility the Council is still using.

[ QUOTE ]
Oh, it's THAT 5th column base. You should be advised, one of the boss locations is up a dozen flights of stairs on the catwalk overlooking the little "parade ground".

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes, I do understand how the map works. Again, while the spawn locations are unfortunate, this is something outside player control. I opted for a better story map than a standard warehouse or cave for this one. Not every Council map will work in terms of location spawns for what I wanted to happen in the story.

I will also add I've seen this base used by everything from Hellions to Rikti in other MA arcs.

[ QUOTE ]
GUESS WHERE NOSFY SPAWNS.

[/ QUOTE ]

When we as story arc creators are granted the ability to control where things spawn (other than Front, Middle or Back), I will agree with this. It should also be noted this is a random thing as 9 times out of 10 that I have run this arc with others, he spawns in other locations.

[ QUOTE ]
...Bonedog. BONEDOG. That's a level 0 Skull functionary name. ...his description is his name. That's, uh, that's real helpful there.

[/ QUOTE ]

As with Turbo Starr, this is not a character I came up with. He is one of my friends villains. Also, he does have a bio which explains where he comes from. Did you not see it? If not, then he may be bugged. I will take a look at it this evening.

[ QUOTE ]
He's Thugs/Rad. I have no clue why.

[/ QUOTE ]

First, these are the sets my friend chose when making his villain. Second, why not?

[ QUOTE ]
Why hello there, Gang War. Or should I call you ENERGY ABSORB MAX.

Almost makes up for the rad debuff.

[/ QUOTE ]

Sounds to me that you had some trouble dealing with a difficult AV solo. This should not surprise you in the least as they are meant to be team content.

[ QUOTE ]
So, alright. The guys coordinating every freakin' high-stakes villain group in possibly the world and planning something unknown, but probably evil, are named TORQUE and BONEDOG.

Those are names that you might expect to have some trouble breaking into a modestly well reinforced pawn shop.

[/ QUOTE ]

I disagree with you entirely on the naming. I also see that you completely missed Nosferatu's dialogue just before you defeated him. You pretty clearly get the indiciation that Torque Starr and the Red Hand are not the ones "pulling the strings"... they are joining up with the other villain factions just like everyone else.


[ QUOTE ]
Yeah, uh, mind cluing me in on your relationship to this guy, my contact? This guy who shares your last name? Is he like your evil duplicate from another dimension or a clone that got all uppity or perhaps your former auto mechanic grandfather?

[/ QUOTE ]

Point taken and I will add some further history into the dialogue here.

[ QUOTE ]
No timer on the mission. It's probably already too late.

[/ QUOTE ]

Now in this instance I can see where making this timed would be acceptable.

[ QUOTE ]
...it's an Arachnos base, intro text, but given that people can't make SG bases in MA I guess I can forgive it.

[/ QUOTE ]

And yet earlier you criticize map usage? I agree with you 100% that it is sometimes difficult to find suitable maps that work and add some variety other than "every mission is a plain cave/office/warehouse". However, this is where I think your ability as a reviewer falls down. As I mention earlier, you complain about maps used because they "don't fit", but in this instance it is ok. You contradict your own review.

[ QUOTE ]
But... how is this a heroic rescue? It's some guy's girlfriend from another guy who hates him. This is like, 80's teen movie rescue at best.

[/ QUOTE ]

I disagree, but you are entitled to your opinion.

[ QUOTE ]
Okay, descriptive text, I can guess they're loyal minions of the faction they're described as being from. Anything else you want to tell me? No? Okay then.

[/ QUOTE ]

Point taken and I agree. They could use more detail and I will update accordingly.

[ QUOTE ]
So. Rescue over... an emp/rad AV? Ooookay. Looks like an ordinary EB out there, and given that she's boosting her boyfriend I decide to just walk away for a drink of water, and the fight's over when I get back.

[/ QUOTE ]

I can tell by this you did not do anything and allowed the ally to clear the room. Every time I have run this mission solo or on a team, whomever clears the last minion surrounding her receives her buffs.

[ QUOTE ]
I check the guy's info before he fades away, and yep, Praetorian Contact.

[/ QUOTE ]

As with Turbo Starr and Bonedog, Torque is another character of my friend whom I used for the arc.

[ QUOTE ]
Oh good, I'm doubting someone as a result of all this. It's... the guy from Freedom Corps. Because apparently it was completely impossible for Crey to change their mimic-Rikti virus to bypass existing protections.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT.

With all the dubious links in the chain of events leading up to the final mission, I doubt THE FIRST ONE? That's like marking Charlie Chaplin down in a Charlie Chaplin lookalike contest where the other entries are a broom, a block of gelatin, and a small silver bowl full of pudding!

[/ QUOTE ]

Well at least I know you read the final clue. So far you are (sadly) the only person who has not been able to put all the pieces together though. Just about everyone else who has run it (based on feedback received) was able to understand this part quite clearly. In fact, most have enjoyed guessing up to the very end who is involved with what.

[ QUOTE ]
Oh, and my contact's getting married. THIS won't end horribly.

[/ QUOTE ]

Sorry to say it, but this comment is entirely useless as a commentary to the story.

[ QUOTE ]
Storyline - *. So... every villain group and perhaps some hero groups are teaming up to... to... Gaw, I don't know, put on the veryest specialest episode of "This is Your Life" for Statesman? I follow quite possibly the least probable chain of clues ever to get to the end of this all... and why was I even here again? My MA/SR ally could probably just solo all of this stuff himself if it wasn't for the persistent ally range issues.

[/ QUOTE ]


As I mention in my initial post, this arc is a prelude to a larger story. You are the only person to have run this that has not seen the whole "rescue" storyline as the backdrop to a whole other sub-plot within the story beginning. You are also the only person who does not grasp the concept of what a "prelude" or "prologue" is. Knowing this is intended as a prelude, you should automatically understand that there are some things in the story that are not intended to be answered within it.

[ QUOTE ]
Design - *. The secret Arachnos warehouse and the 5th Column's Last Stand maps don't really fit the groups you put on them much, if at all. Vanessa for some reason shows up not very far into the abandoned warehouse map, leaving about half of it completely pointless.

[/ QUOTE ]

I disagree as I mentioned above.

[ QUOTE ]
Gameplay - ***. Even when the Rikti monkey gas wasn't making him cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, my ally still loved to run ahead and slaughter everything. And the "final battle" was over in a handful of seconds without me even having to do anything. Not the fifteen minutes of sweaty-palmed button-mashing action I was expecting.

[/ QUOTE ]

I find the highlighted part very hard to believe. I also don't see how not having a "15 minute button mashing-fest" is a requirement for every single mission.

[ QUOTE ]
Detail - **. I have real trouble believing Torque and Bonedog as global-level threats, if that wasn't already clear. The rather anemic descriptions on the enemy group minions and lieutenants seem rather out of place, compared to the lavish bios that my contact and his Praetorian self manage.

[/ QUOTE ]

Point taken on the character bios and I will add to them to provide more detail.

[ QUOTE ]
Overall - *. As a setup for a larger arc this actually seems completely unnecessary. I mean, I come out the other end knowing pretty much nothing more than when I went in. You've heard of "in medias res", right? Starting a story in the middle?

[/ QUOTE ]

This is where I believe you failed to put all the necessary pieces together. The story does not start in the middle. It starts at the beginning.

What you missed was;

1. Who was in the Longbow base during the invasion? - The report from the Longbow Lt. provides you this clue. Since one of the heroes who responded has disappeared, that leaves only one other person.

2. The dialogue of every villain in the arc - they are all speaking of banding together, someone granting them "amnesty" etc.

3. Who besides the Malta show up to help you when Vanessa starts to talk? - it should also be fairly clear that the Malta while involved, do not necessarily agree with the other villain factions.

4. The Longbow Scientists report and your assessment of it - if the Longbow defense grid was designed against viruses of this kind, then how did it get taken down? WHO was there to do it?

5. As a prelude to a larger story, the sub-plot will pose questions/introduce things not intended to be answered here.

[ QUOTE ]
Or, y'know, whatever you had planned for the future of all of this. I've got no idea what the shape is of things to come. And if this is a prequel of sorts, shouldn't I?

[/ QUOTE ]

As I have said previously, it has been fairly evident to everyone else who has run this so far that the story is essentially the villain factions banding together with "someone" for an unknown reason and that the perhaps the Omega Force group of heroes are not what they appear to be. The rescue/romance part is just a backdrop for this one in particular although it will lead to more in the future arcs that continue the underlying story.


Overall, I feel you were a bit too harsh with your review and nitpicks of areas that are in most cases outside a creators control. The overall rating of 1 star is not appropriate either, especially since you contradict yourself in your own criticisms and seemed to get the basics of what was going on. I beleive you went into this thinking it would be one kind of story, but penalized it for not being what you expected it to be.

I do want to add that I feel you very much need to work on your critiquing skills. With some effort I was able to sift through the meaningless text to gather what I believe you were trying to say. In the future, you may want to try and be more concise with your commentary. In order to provide clear and intelligible feedback to someone, it is important they understand exactly what you are trying to say. Convoluted thought tangents and rambling inner monologue makes no sense as a review of something.

A much more effective technique is to provide feedback like;

"This did not work and here is why".
"I did not understand the purpose of this clue. Could you clarify the intent?"
"This worked well, but might I suggest..."

Some ideas to think about.


Thanks again and I do thank you kindly for taking the time to run the arc.


Shard Warrior - 50 MA/Regen/BM Scrapper

Founding Member and Leader : Shadow-Force
Co-Leader: Council of Heroes
"Whatever evils come this way... we will be there to stop them."

 

Posted

Seriously man, you totally griefed this arc.

It's a multi-layered story with a fun series of missions, tough fights, engaging dialogue and intriguing clues to a bigger picture.

A 1 star overall rating is nowhere near justified for this story. Way 2 grief.


 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
@GlaziusF

Ice/axe tanker. High 30s. Diff 2 for ~goodfights~.

---

Us, huh? Okay, buddy, let's see if you actually show on the ground.

Y'know, if every second counts shouldn't there be a timer?

Wow. That's a crowded objective bar. How much of that is actually mandatory?

Well, what do you know, he actually showed up. Alright, let's kick some -- oh man. Ohhhhh man. Okay. I would like you to think about this:

Focused Senses boosts perception.

Quickness boosts run speed.

Rikti monkey gas makes allies flip out and run the hell away.

Put them all together and it's the amazing Two Rooms Away Man!

I hope I can fly solo for a bit later on.

Also, the Longbow in charge of the base is an ordinary minigunner. Was that intended?

Wow, looks like they were all required. I'm not really sure what you can do to collapse everything - maybe lump all the rescues together?

---

Make up your mind whether the contact spells out his contractions or not. "I have" -> "she has not" -> "I've" -> me going "whuh?"

Guy, it's okay. Heroes can help heroes for no reason at all. I am not your damn relationship counselor, nor does this seem like an appropriate time.

This is going to end up being somebody else who thinks an appropriate memorial for a lost loved one is destroying everything else they ever loved, isn't it? I only ask because I've seen it twice and something's rubbing me the wrong way now.

...wow, if this was actually a Crey plan, there are just so many ways for it to fail. In the middle of a Rikti invasion, deliberately take out one base's defenses and hope that out of all the chaos one particular hero shows up?

Nothing really interesting on the top floor, wonder what's through the secret elevator...

Oh, peachy. He Who Must Be Blamed?

So Countess Crey and Nemesis walk into a covert Arachnos base. Countess Crey says "Is that a USB drive in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

Nemesis isn't some Republic serial villain. He'll only tell you what his plan is if he's pulled it off sometime in the past three dozen minutes or so. So why do I have a feeling that the anachronistic clue Big Brass dropped is going to turn into a lead?

Yyyyyep. Look, man, three rules of heroing: Shoot Straight. Conserve Your Inspirations. Never, Never Take A Lead From Lord Nemesis.

---

Carnies now. I guess we haven't gotten all the irritating psychic AVs out of the way.

...okay, Lady Borgia would never say "yucky". More like "uncouth", and I don't believe there's a Freak who's ever couthed in his eventful little life.

Okay, look. Vanessa may be a party girl living in a party world, but that party world is Renaissance-era Italy. Even if she has her mind back at this point, and I have no idea if that's true or not, Giovanna Scaldi has been talking through her mouth for years now and that's not something you just give up.

Agh Malta! Agh Sappers! Agh... they're not firing at me. Um...

Okay, random run-in from the defense force of... the same supergroup Fanboy in the first mission was from. That's not disturbing at all.

Suuuuure there are worse things than all the villains out there, Mr. Malta guy. Brainwashingparamilitaryorganizationthattriedtodes troyParagonCitywithagiantrobotsaysWHAT?

Malta are on the scale of "dudes you should trust" somewhere just very slightly above Nemesis. Their modus operandi is brainwashing and information warfare.

But we're going to trust them as well, aren't we? Yes, yes we are.

---

Look, my contact, you can't just throw half the Malta statement out as bull and take the other half of the statement at face value!

Arachnos... and the Council... in a 5th column base. This is turning into like MA Mad Libs at a distressing rate.

Oh, it's THAT 5th column base. You should be advised, one of the boss locations is up a dozen flights of stairs on the catwalk overlooking the little "parade ground".

GUESS WHERE NOSFY SPAWNS.

...Bonedog. BONEDOG. That's a level 0 Skull functionary name. ...his description is his name. That's, uh, that's real helpful there.

He's Thugs/Rad. I have no clue why.

Why hello there, Gang War. Or should I call you ENERGY ABSORB MAX.

Almost makes up for the rad debuff.

So, alright. The guys coordinating every freakin' high-stakes villain group in possibly the world and planning something unknown, but probably evil, are named TORQUE and BONEDOG.

Those are names that you might expect to have some trouble breaking into a modestly well reinforced pawn shop.

---

Yeah, uh, mind cluing me in on your relationship to this guy, my contact? This guy who shares your last name? Is he like your evil duplicate from another dimension or a clone that got all uppity or perhaps your former auto mechanic grandfather?

No timer on the mission. It's probably already too late.

...it's an Arachnos base, intro text, but given that people can't make SG bases in MA I guess I can forgive it. But... how is this a heroic rescue? It's some guy's girlfriend from another guy who hates him. This is like, 80's teen movie rescue at best.

Okay, descriptive text, I can guess they're loyal minions of the faction they're described as being from. Anything else you want to tell me? No? Okay then.

So. Rescue over... an emp/rad AV? Ooookay. Looks like an ordinary EB out there, and given that she's boosting her boyfriend I decide to just walk away for a drink of water, and the fight's over when I get back.

I check the guy's info before he fades away, and yep, Praetorian Contact.

Oh good, I'm doubting someone as a result of all this. It's... the guy from Freedom Corps. Because apparently it was completely impossible for Crey to change their mimic-Rikti virus to bypass existing protections.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT.

With all the dubious links in the chain of events leading up to the final mission, I doubt THE FIRST ONE? That's like marking Charlie Chaplin down in a Charlie Chaplin lookalike contest where the other entries are a broom, a block of gelatin, and a small silver bowl full of pudding!

Oh, and my contact's getting married. THIS won't end horribly.

----

Storyline - *. So... every villain group and perhaps some hero groups are teaming up to... to... Gaw, I don't know, put on the veryest specialest episode of "This is Your Life" for Statesman? I follow quite possibly the least probable chain of clues ever to get to the end of this all... and why was I even here again? My MA/SR ally could probably just solo all of this stuff himself if it wasn't for the persistent ally range issues.

Design - *. The secret Arachnos warehouse and the 5th Column's Last Stand maps don't really fit the groups you put on them much, if at all. Vanessa for some reason shows up not very far into the abandoned warehouse map, leaving about half of it completely pointless.

Gameplay - ***. Even when the Rikti monkey gas wasn't making him cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, my ally still loved to run ahead and slaughter everything. And the "final battle" was over in a handful of seconds without me even having to do anything. Not the fifteen minutes of sweaty-palmed button-mashing action I was expecting.

Detail - **. I have real trouble believing Torque and Bonedog as global-level threats, if that wasn't already clear. The rather anemic descriptions on the enemy group minions and lieutenants seem rather out of place, compared to the lavish bios that my contact and his Praetorian self manage.

Overall - *. As a setup for a larger arc this actually seems completely unnecessary. I mean, I come out the other end knowing pretty much nothing more than when I went in. You've heard of "in medias res", right? Starting a story in the middle? Really I think there'd be a lot to gain from like a hero getting a wedding invitation and showing up to find the place a mess and the "bride" hovering in the air surrounded by a malevolent energy aura saying "FOOL! How could you not recognize I, the malificent Rats E. Daj? My weakling reflection from your world is nothing more than a battery for our Omnivoid Ripper now, and there's nothing you can do to stop us from DESTROYING TIME AND/OR SPACE!"

Or, y'know, whatever you had planned for the future of all of this. I've got no idea what the shape is of things to come. And if this is a prequel of sorts, shouldn't I?

[/ QUOTE ]

Dude, learn to read the dialogue and put 2+2 together and not come out with -1. I've run this arc a couple of times already and have really enjoyed it. A great many of your comments and criticisms are either out of ANY author's control or are invalid if you actually read the dialogue and clues.

As a reviewer I give you a -5 for ineptitude.


 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
AVs are meant to be tough. It is just a preference, but I prefer a challenge as do most others I team with on a regular basis. Just as a suggestion, but when you read the mission details at the MA terminal and saw that each mission contains a Boss, perhaps you might consider teaming? I can solo this arc with no real difficulties on my tank. If the EBs/AVs are too much for you alone, find a team.


[/ QUOTE ]

Don't get all bent outa shape here, but I quoted the above statement to point out that YOU decided to start a public thread about your arc, and requested feedback. The "challenge" that you and your friends enjoy has no impact on how other people will receive your arc, and the fact that you can solo it on your Tank (which I'm sure is purpled-out since I know you) shold not be a measuring stick for what other people can and cannot do in a mission.


 

Posted

Yes you are correct and I know I started the thread to ask for feedback. I appreciated his comments and for taking the time to run the arc. I tried to point out where I thought his comments valid and where I thought it difficult to understand and where I thought he was unfair.

You are also correct that how I and my teammates like to play differs from others and what we consider challenging varies greatly from other players.

I just don't feel that this arc pushes the limits of difficulty for anyone. My comments regarding "difficulty" stem from the reviewer commenting on "annoying psi AVs", which (to me) is pretty clear indication that they already made up their mind that they didn't like the arc because they could not complete it in 15 seconds. Or they had to (solo by choice) fight something that their selected toon has difficulty against. This is also why I chose to use existing AVs/EBs for this arc. I've seen and fought my share of custom Stone Armor/Psi Blast AV's in MA arcs.

The point I was getting at was that a person can see that there are bosses in each mission, so if they are typically unable to defeat a boss under normal circumstances, they should find a team. I also believe that if I can do this solo with few problems on a variety of ATs, so can anyone else. I'm no better or more skilled a player than the next person. With some ATs (tanks and scrappers) it is much easier to solo than with squishies. Yet I am able to complete it (albeit with a lot more finesse in terms of pulling and aggro avoidance) with a blaster and even my EMP defender. Others should be able to as well. As you well know, some ATs are better suited for soloing than others.

Lastly, none of my tanks have purple sets in them. Most are all common IOs and don't have any enhancements (or bonuses) from IO recipe sets. My main scrapper is the only toon I have fully decked out with purples and other IO sets so far.

I think overall the reviewer missed the underlying story going on in this one and did not know how to critique it properly. Some of his comments were very good and helpful toward making improvements. As I said, the other feedback I have received in-game and via PM here, people have had no problems understanding what was going on, especially since I had requested they pay special attention to the clues and dialogue, and that this contains things which are a prelude to a larger story.


Shard Warrior - 50 MA/Regen/BM Scrapper

Founding Member and Leader : Shadow-Force
Co-Leader: Council of Heroes
"Whatever evils come this way... we will be there to stop them."

 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
My comments regarding "difficulty" stem from the reviewer commenting on "annoying psi AVs", which (to me) is pretty clear indication that they already made up their mind that they didn't like the arc because they could not complete it in 15 seconds.

[/ QUOTE ]

^ This.

I get the impression reading this so-called "review" this is exactly what happened. The reviewer tried an arc that did not contain the same nauseatingly boring content they are accustomed to and decided to grief the arc entirely. They couldn't mow through it in 5 minutes, so gave the arc a bad rating to grief the author. I guess some people like easy kiddy content a monkey can complete. Sorry, but the missions (even those with the AVs) were just not that hard.

Some SG mates and I ran this on challenge level 3 with our heroes and had no difficulties whatsoever. AND not a single one of our hero toons are "decked out with purples"... most are common SOs since we are redside most of the time. To be honest, fully purpled out toons are not THAT much better than normal.

The story is not at all hard to follow... I mean, between the clues provided, AV chat and even the contact himself spells out what's going on for you, it is easy to see that there is a sub-plot being established with the villains.

I found it enjoyable to try and guess who was behind the kidnapping and what part that played in the villains banding together. We were all guessing it was Torque who had "pulling the strings" once we got to the last mission, and nicely surprised by the clue which said that the scientists report on the virus was a lie. It was a nicely done twist IMO.

That meant someone planted that virus to make it LOOK like it was used to take down the Longbow computers. There was only one person there who could have done it and if you can't figure that out, well then you're just plain dumb. Especially when you go back to what Vanessa said just as the bots showed up to help take her down... she seemed surprised they were showing up to fight her. It was a nice twist to set up the "hero" in the first mission as not what he appears to be... nor does it take an advanced degree in rocket science to see that much.

The one thing which I do find hard to figure out is whether or not she was specifically targeted for kidnapping or was it just out of convenience that she was in the right place at the wrong time? Since the author says this is a prelude to something more, I imagine we'll find that out later.

Bottom line, this "reviewer" (and I use that term loosely) griefed this arc unfairly. It is a good story with some depth to it, which is more than can be said for a lot of the other crappy farm arcs with clones of Ronald McDonald and Pee Wee Herman for fast XP gain.

To give an arc a 1 star rating for using a Longbow minon NPC instead of a Longbow Lt. and quibbling over grammar and map usage is just plain stupid. The story will make sense to anyone with more than 2 brain cells.


 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
The point I was getting at was that a person can see that there are bosses in each mission, so if they are typically unable to defeat a boss under normal circumstances, they should find a team. I also believe that if I can do this solo with few problems on a variety of ATs, so can anyone else. I'm no better or more skilled a player than the next person. With some ATs (tanks and scrappers) it is much easier to solo than with squishies. Yet I am able to complete it (albeit with a lot more finesse in terms of pulling and aggro avoidance) with a blaster and even my EMP defender. Others should be able to as well. As you well know, some ATs are better suited for soloing than others.

[/ QUOTE ]

Question:

Does the description say there are AV/EBs, or are you strictly relying on the player to see that "Defeat Boss" is part of the missions?

And, as far as the reviewer missing the point of something or not reviewing correctly, all I can say is that we don't get to pick our critics or how they critique. At least he didn't just stroll into the thread with "Meh... sucks.", and that was it. He gave you feed back in his way and I think you just need to take it for what you think it's worth. No sense in getting bent outa shape over it.


 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
Bottom line, this "reviewer" (and I use that term loosely) griefed this arc unfairly. It is a good story with some depth to it, which is more than can be said for a lot of the other crappy farm arcs with clones of Ronald McDonald and Pee Wee Herman for fast XP gain.

To give an arc a 1 star rating for using a Longbow minon NPC instead of a Longbow Lt. and quibbling over grammar and map usage is just plain stupid. The story will make sense to anyone with more than 2 brain cells.

[/ QUOTE ]

You do realize what you're doing, right? You're being that person that calls someone dumb because they don't like the same movie you like. You're acting like a Twilight fan. YES I SAID IT ;P

Look, if the guy wanted to grief it he wouldn't have finished it. He woulda stopped in mission 2 and 1-star'ed, and not bothered to right a review. Calling him a griefer because he didn't like it is childish.


 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
Question:

Does the description say there are AV/EBs, or are you strictly relying on the player to see that "Defeat Boss" is part of the missions?

[/ QUOTE ]

IIRC if there are AVs in a mission the terminal will say "Elite Boss". Don't quote me on that as I am not 100% sure... will verify this evening.

[ QUOTE ]
And, as far as the reviewer missing the point of something or not reviewing correctly, all I can say is that we don't get to pick our critics or how they critique.

[/ QUOTE ]

True. Some people are just plain stupid and grief for no reason which is why IMO having a rating system for MA arcs was a poorly thought out design.

And the flipside is these "critics" aren't always right either. Just as people should expect criticism when creating a thread asking for reviews, "critics" should expect to be questioned on their rating.

Just because this noob posted 5 or 6 more (to me what seem like drunken or drug induced) paragraphs doesn't mean it is an insightful or meaningful review either.


 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
Question:

Does the description say there are AV/EBs, or are you strictly relying on the player to see that "Defeat Boss" is part of the missions?

[/ QUOTE ]

I believe the terminal will say Arch Villain. Not entirely sure though.

[ QUOTE ]
No sense in getting bent outa shape over it.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm not bent out of shape. I just disagree with his overall rating and his reasons for reaching it, which I am entitled to do.


Shard Warrior - 50 MA/Regen/BM Scrapper

Founding Member and Leader : Shadow-Force
Co-Leader: Council of Heroes
"Whatever evils come this way... we will be there to stop them."

 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Question:

Does the description say there are AV/EBs, or are you strictly relying on the player to see that "Defeat Boss" is part of the missions?

[/ QUOTE ]

I believe the terminal will say Arch Villain. Not entirely sure though.

[ QUOTE ]
No sense in getting bent outa shape over it.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm not bent out of shape. I just disagree with his overall rating and his reasons for reaching it, which I am entitled to do.

[/ QUOTE ]

True, of course.


 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
Question:

Does the description say there are AV/EBs, or are you strictly relying on the player to see that "Defeat Boss" is part of the missions?

[/ QUOTE ]

I looked at the terminal at it only says "Contains Boss", so I am going to update the description accordingly to include a warning to that extent.


Shard Warrior - 50 MA/Regen/BM Scrapper

Founding Member and Leader : Shadow-Force
Co-Leader: Council of Heroes
"Whatever evils come this way... we will be there to stop them."

 

Posted

I believe i15 will start to label EBs and AVs in story arcs, though it unfortunately doesn't distinguish between allies and foes.


And for a while things were cold,
They were scared down in their holes
The forest that once was green
Was colored black by those killing machines

 

Posted

Just finished playing it with my 50 Plant/Storm controller. Interesting arc - I enjoyed it. Definitely not a 1 star rating - hard to believe some people - let's hope his rating arc dies away.

Chapter 1:
Typos: "...I just receieved..." - should be received.
".... you can head the sounds of battle...." - should be hear

In the Turbo Starr bio i think "experiments" would sound better than "experimentations".

Grammar: ".... peruse his experimentation..." - perhaps you meant pursue?

When I first enter, Turbo is surrounded by Rikti and holding his walky talky. He should either be a captive or in a combat pose. It just looked odd him standing there and his captives ignoring him.

Suggestion: Vary up the Rikti and Captive dialog if you have room. Too many Rikti were saying "Objective: Something".

Closing Popup: "You have saved the Longbow base". I'd add a "Congratulations" and perhaps a exclamation point.

The Longbow base seemed devoid of anything but Rikti. I'd add a few Longbow patrols and/or battles.

It seemed a bit odd to me, storywise, that someone created a Rikti like virus and somehow influenced the Rikti to attack at the same time. This was never fully explained.

Chapter 2

Typo: " ... in the event any kind of tampering ...." should be "in the event of".

Popup Dialog: "... agents from the Crey..." should be "agents from Crey".

Mission Objectives: "Search the Computer for clues" and "Locate any clues" could be combined together.

Rescue Dialog: The text concerning Crey "robbing banks" seemed odd. I don't remember any arcs with them robbing banks off hand.

Desk Clue: Need periods at the end.

The wall safe text was incorrect. I'm guessing this used to be a desk at some point in time?

At this point, the comedy text kicks in high gear, whereas the opening chapter seemed fairly straightforward. I'd go back and make it more consistent if this is intended to be a comedic arc. If not, I'd change the AV text to be more in character.

Chapter 3

Intro: "the Crey" again. I'd just use "Crey".
".... they all would kidnap her...." - I'd just have "they would kidnap her".
Freak Patrols - I'd either vary up the text with individual patrols or just have 1 patrol with text and the rest silent.

Malta Report Clue Typo: spefics should be specifics.

Debriefing: Carnival of Shadow should be plural.
"Rouge Isles" should be "Rogue Isles".
"... at the Council base there." You don't need "there" at the end. I saw a number of sentences where you did this.

I didn't fully understand why the Malta were helping me...
also, if you're going to have an ambush it needs to come earlier, the mission was over and I had to go find them...

Chapter 4
Typo: "Nerva Archiplelgo" should be "Nerva Archipelago"
"5th column" should be "5th Column" ( case )
The "Capture Bonedog" objective was added with no explanation. Perhaps a clue?
The debriefing mentions a Torque Starr and the Red Hand with no explanation. This is expanded a bit in the next chapter but is confusing at this point.

Chapter 5
If you're going to have a timed mission, there needs to be a reason. Something like time bombs... otherwise I'd not time it.

Torgue Starr bio:
"... his dark past lead him..." - should be led
"...specialty trained assassins...." should be specially
The bio sounded a bit awkward in places and could be tightened up a bit.

The popup needs an exclamation point.

Debriefing:
"We dit it!" should be "We did it!"

".... Jade Starr is a great hero, just like you and I..." - I saw text in a few places like this. Makes your contact seem a bit egotistical...

The arc seemed to be building up to some great cataclysm of monumental proportions that would cause all the villain groups to band together. Torque just didnt seem to fit the bill IMO. Maybe if you had some clue that Torque was working for some higher power ... especially since this arc seems to be a prelude to something.

Overall: A very nice arc, with some great humor. The humor needs to be consistently applied - especially in the first chapter. Quite a few typos - to be expected considering the amount of text.

The contact needs to be toned down. He appeared to have build up which implies a hard setting. Also, he shouldn't be set to aggressive. It makes the player feel like 2nd fiddle as the contact appears to be leading.

Suggestion: Colorizing chapter titles and highlighting main objectives in the intro text help break it up and look less like a "wall of text".


131430 Starfare: First Contact
178774 Tales of Croatoa: A Rose By Any Other Name ( 2009 MA Best In-Canon Arc ) ( 2009 Player Awards - Best Serious Arc )

 

Posted

Thanks for running the arc and providing the great feedback. I very much appreciate your comments and for taking the time to read through everything and find all my typos!

[ QUOTE ]
When I first enter, Turbo is surrounded by Rikti and holding his walky talky. He should either be a captive or in a combat pose. It just looked odd him standing there and his captives ignoring him.

[/ QUOTE ]

His dialogue when you find him is that he is on the walky talky talking to Lt. Masterson telling her to "hang tight" and that you are on your way. It does look odd though and I'll try something different.

[ QUOTE ]
Suggestion: Vary up the Rikti and Captive dialog if you have room. Too many Rikti were saying "Objective: Something"... The Longbow base seemed devoid of anything but Rikti. I'd add a few Longbow patrols and/or battles.


[/ QUOTE ]

Noted and will make some fine tuning here.

[ QUOTE ]
It seemed a bit odd to me, storywise, that someone created a Rikti like virus and somehow influenced the Rikti to attack at the same time. This was never fully explained.

[/ QUOTE ]

The full story and specifics as to why the virus was there is not intended to be fully explained in this arc. This is part of the "prelude".

The Rikti were not responsible for the computer virus. Someone else put it there. Lt. Masterson's report, the second ambush of the third mission and the mission complete clue in mission 5 point to someone else.


[ QUOTE ]
Mission Objectives: "Search the Computer for clues" and "Locate any clues" could be combined together.

[/ QUOTE ]

Noted and I will do some fine tuning here.

[ QUOTE ]
Rescue Dialog: The text concerning Crey "robbing banks" seemed odd. I don't remember any arcs with them robbing banks off hand.

[/ QUOTE ]

This goes back to the virus. The contact tells you it was used by the Crey years ago for a massive robbery attempt. I am going to change this though as robbing banks is a bit beneath the Crey.

[ QUOTE ]
The wall safe text was incorrect. I'm guessing this used to be a desk at some point in time?

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes it was and fixed.

[ QUOTE ]
At this point, the comedy text kicks in high gear, whereas the opening chapter seemed fairly straightforward. I'd go back and make it more consistent if this is intended to be a comedic arc. If not, I'd change the AV text to be more in character.

[/ QUOTE ]

Noted and will make adjustments. The arc is not intended as a comedy, but I was trying to "lighten up" the dialogue a bit.

I'll also be changing the dialogue for Nemesis as after talking with a few people who ran it with me, he seems "out of character" in what is transpiring. It is not my intent to make him seem subservient as he does have a much larger role in the forthcoming story. I'll make some revisions to the text given by the contact afterward to try and make this more clear.

[ QUOTE ]
Freak Patrols - I'd either vary up the text with individual patrols or just have 1 patrol with text and the rest silent.

[/ QUOTE ]

Noted and will be making adjustments.

[ QUOTE ]
I didn't fully understand why the Malta were helping me...
also, if you're going to have an ambush it needs to come earlier, the mission was over and I had to go find them...

[/ QUOTE ]

I apologize if the Malta and their motivations for helping were unclear, but that is the intent of their ambush for now. I think it clear enough through the dialogue and their clue that they arrived to "shut Vanessa up". Was this much understandable? If not, I would love to hear your thoughts on how to make improvements to the scenario and text. Again, the intentions for the Malta encounter is to show that they are involved in the sub-plot with the others, they don't necessarily agree with what is transpiring, but did need to make sure Vanessa didn't talk.

I'll also do some fine tuning to the ambushes arriving earlier. Sometimes it works perfectly while other times it doesn't. This is one of those instances where selecting "Front, Middle, Back" falls down with the MA. I've tried several maps already and the results are the same... the ambushes arrive too far away and then don't come to where you are. If you know of any that will work better, please let me know.

[ QUOTE ]
The "Capture Bonedog" objective was added with no explanation. Perhaps a clue?

[/ QUOTE ]

Nosferatu's dialogue before you defeat him lets you know there is someone else there when he says "Get word to our "visitor" that he needs to get out of here and now!!". I will make some adjustments to this to help make it flow better, such as adding a Red Hand patrol to the mission and some hints to their presence in the entry pop-up.

The intent is that Bonedog is at the Council base representing the Red Hand in negotiations with Nosferatu and the Council and Arachnos.

[ QUOTE ]
The debriefing mentions a Torque Starr and the Red Hand with no explanation. This is expanded a bit in the next chapter but is confusing at this point.

[/ QUOTE ]

I will work on this to make it clearer. If you have any thoughts on how to expand on it, I would be delighted to hear them.

[ QUOTE ]
If you're going to have a timed mission, there needs to be a reason. Something like time bombs... otherwise I'd not time it.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm going to adjust the text from the contact to reflect this. Bonedog will be telling you that they intend to kill the hostage soon and that you need to save her quickly. I'm thinking of adding in some additional clues to this last mission as well to help explain that Torque Starr (while responsible for the kidnapping) is not the one behind all the groups banding together... the Red Hand is just another villain group joining in with them all.

[ QUOTE ]
The arc seemed to be building up to some great cataclysm of monumental proportions that would cause all the villain groups to band together. Torque just didnt seem to fit the bill IMO. Maybe if you had some clue that Torque was working for some higher power ... especially since this arc seems to be a prelude to something.

[/ QUOTE ]

As I mentioned above, it is the intent that Torque is not the one "pulling the strings" behind the villain groups banding together. The kidnapping is not part of that sub-plot either. Torque just kidnapped Jade-Star to get at Turbo due to his hatred of him. I'm going to work on adding some additional clues to the last 2 missions to help make this point more clear. I'm open to suggestion if you have any ideas on how to make that work better.

[ QUOTE ]
The contact needs to be toned down. He appeared to have build up which implies a hard setting. Also, he shouldn't be set to aggressive. It makes the player feel like 2nd fiddle as the contact appears to be leading.

[/ QUOTE ]

I will make some adjustments to him. As a side note, you should see his "Mini" in another arc of mine ... now HE is out of control! LOL!

[ QUOTE ]
Suggestion: Colorizing chapter titles and highlighting main objectives in the intro text help break it up and look less like a "wall of text".

[/ QUOTE ]

Great suggestion! Will do.


Thank you again for running the arc and for taking to time to provide your excellent feedback! If you would like, PM me with any thoughts you might have toward making some of the less clear parts easier to get across. I'd be delighted to hear them.


Shard Warrior - 50 MA/Regen/BM Scrapper

Founding Member and Leader : Shadow-Force
Co-Leader: Council of Heroes
"Whatever evils come this way... we will be there to stop them."

 

Posted

Just to update: I've gone through the arc this morning and cleaned up quite a few things and made refinements to others. The sub-plot and basic mission objectives are highlighted now so it should be easy to distinguish them and follow the gist of the underlying plot.

I am looking for a better map for the 3rd mission since the ambushes do not spawn correctly with any kind of consistency, so if anyone can offer a better map to use, it would be appreciated.

It should also be clearer now that Torque wasn't the guy "pulling the strings".

Speaking of Torque and the Red Hand, I completely forgot that anyone interested in learning more about them and their relationship to Turbo and Starr Force SG, please run;

ArcID: 72447 "Extinction Agenda" by @Turbo Starr

It's a fun arc and best with a team


Shard Warrior - 50 MA/Regen/BM Scrapper

Founding Member and Leader : Shadow-Force
Co-Leader: Council of Heroes
"Whatever evils come this way... we will be there to stop them."

 

Posted

(Gotta split this up, I think I'm bumping up against the character limit on posts.)

Recovering from what I thought was a scratchy throat but turned out to be knock-you-on-your-tail flu. Fortunately I'm sufficiently un-knocked to type coherently again.

Not cool with the white-knighting, dude who decided to go to bat for me.

[ QUOTE ]
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Ice/axe tanker. High 30s. Diff 2 for ~goodfights~.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm curious how you were able to complete a level 45-50 content arc on a "High 30s Ice/axe tanker"?

[/ QUOTE ]

1) The MA does auto-SK. 2) Conserve Your Inspirations. 3) Even with the ally range bug, tanks are good at position control, which mitigates the ally range bug, and the dude is a wreckin' machine. 4) 40-50 gives you powers that are pretty much orthogonal to the ones you already have, especially for tanks. 5) But really, you can take "high-level" content a variable amount of time after you get your SOs, depending on the specific AT and power combinations, assuming you're SKed up to the appropriate level. See 1.

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Y'know, if every second counts shouldn't there be a timer?

[/ QUOTE ]

Possibly, but what would be the point of it? How would that improve the mission? The Rikti are invading, not just stopping by to shoot a few Longbow and then head back to their ship.

Just to add to this; timers (at least IMO) add an unneccessary means for failing a mission and breaking the immersion of a story. As a "reviewer", you should be knowledgeable of how the MA works and the limitations it has in the potential immersion problems with mission failures.

Should a timer expire before completion and the mission fails, you are shown the "Mission Fail Text". And yet when you receive the next mission from the contact, it would seem like you haven't failed and saved the day afterall.

When the MA allows for alternate story threads based on completion succesess or failure, then I might agree. This is something I personally take into consideration when running other player arcs. I do not hold the limitations of the MA against anyone.

[/ QUOTE ]

Fail text: Contact gives you after-action report. Mentions a "black box" from the Longbow defense computer that recorded the Crey virus. Maybe talks about the other hero group on the scene after the Longbow soldiers medicom out. Next mission proceeds with investigation of Crey, just like it would if you'd saved everyone and heard everything.

This isn't to say that you should impose ACTUAL time pressure. The timer could be long enough (like, hour or so is plenty of time) to get everything done in the mission, just to give the illusion of actual time pressure.

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Wow. That's a crowded objective bar. How much of that is actually mandatory?

[/ QUOTE ]

Why yes it is and all of it is mandatory. Again, the Rikti are invading the place. Would you not expect to see some wounded that needed tending to? Bombs that needed to be destroyed?

Second, you are the first to comment on this being "too much" to do. Other feedback I have received on this arc have all said they enjoyed these types of missions. The overwhelming majority of standard content is either defeat boss, defeat all, click objects etc. Most all people I know who either run player created arcs or create their own stories like the "flavor" the MA provides in this area. You can create/run content that is something different for a change.

I guess it is just a preference thing here. I don't feel that the amount of objectives is overdone in this mission.

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh, I don't mind there being a lot to do. But the mission is basically, what, spring 7 dudes break 4 bombs click 1 glowie? Giving half (round down) those 7 dudes their own little entry in the HUD just clutters it up. And by this I mean TINY TEXT RUNS TOGETHER. "4 bombs to destroy, restart defence grid, 7 captives to rescue". Or "6 captives to rescue, find Turbo Starr". 1/3 to 1/2 of the tiny text gone.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Okay. I would like you to think about this:

Focused Senses boosts perception.

Quickness boosts run speed.

Rikti monkey gas makes allies flip out and run the hell away.

Put them all together and it's the amazing Two Rooms Away Man!


[/ QUOTE ]

First, I will clarify the ally is not a character of my own creation. He is the main character of a friend of mine on Triumph server. His powersets are exactly the same as my friends character.

Second, I understand fully how powers work and their effect in the MA when faced with things such as caltrops, mudpots, Rikti gas etc. I also see here that you do not understand how allies in the MA work. Focused Senses and Quickness have nothing to do with characters running off due to Rikti gas. Any ally of any powerset combination would do the same. Again, this is a limitation within the MA system itself. Personally, I find it immersive in other player created arcs I have tried to have allies that "run off" and do their own thing. It makes them more "real".

Third, I've run this arc on my tankers, scrappers, defender and blaster and had no real issues with him running "two rooms away". Sure, he may run out of range of the monkey gas (if any at all), but there is not much I can do about that... any custom character will do that. Again, as a "reviewer" of MA created content, you should be knowledgeable enough to understand it is a limitation of the MA system in general and outside the creator control.

Lastly, if as a tanker you are unable to control aggro sufficiently to keep all enemies focused on you (and thereby keeping allies within range), I don't know what to tell you. I invite you to either roll a toon or transfer one to Triumph server where I would be happy to run this again with you on one of my tankers. Perhaps you can learn how to properly and effectively manage aggro on a tanker.

[/ QUOTE ]

Well, they were small rooms, and I was near the exit of one of them. The gas panic makes NPCs bolt off in a non-player-controllable direction for X seconds, which is really a pain on fliers but also results in higher "flee range" on characters with buffed movement, and with his perception giving him more targets to lock onto he could (and did) bolt through a small room and see things in the room after it to DETH KICK.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Guy, it's okay. Heroes can help heroes for no reason at all. I am not your damn relationship counselor, nor does this seem like an appropriate time.

This is going to end up being somebody else who thinks an appropriate memorial for a lost loved one is destroying everything else they ever loved, isn't it? I only ask because I've seen it twice and something's rubbing me the wrong way now.

[/ QUOTE ]

First, this whole part makes no sense to me. The title of the arc itself should give anyone a pretty clear indication there is something of a romantic aspect in the story. I question your ability to be an "objective" reviewer of any story content where you are already forming opinions on a given story based on others you have run before. It sounds to me here like you had already made your mind up at this point and did not pay any real attention to the remainder of the story. I'll come back to this again as you mentioned it later on in your review.

[/ QUOTE ]

Hahaha! "Objective"! That's a good one. Man, I triple-DOG dare you to go through life and not form opinions about things based on other things you've seen before. Can't be done.

[ QUOTE ]
Second, the storyline required an introduction that these two characters have a history together. As the writer, I know these two characters, their story and history (and so do my friends on Triumph) but others don't. If I did not introduce this, the player who does not know these characters has no way of finding this out. He also does not ask for any kind of "relationship counseling", so I've no idea where that tangent thought comes from. The contact provides you with some backstory and history for these characters. This is not an uncommon thing in CoX (ie. Maticore and Sister Psyche) or in comics in general. I can cite you numerous examples from the various comic universes if you like.

Lastly, I wanted to have a reason why the contact seems to overlook some key things within the story. My intent was to have him somewhat blinded by his feelings as to not pay attention to certain things fully. I did not want him to come across as some idiot and leave the deciphering of clues and such to the player. Just my opinion here, but I do have a brain and do not find it necessary to have contacts for every mission spoon feed me everything.

[/ QUOTE ]

Because that's what love does, make you less capable as a person?

Look, I'm aware of comic romances in all their "my wife is either dead, all-powerful, or pure evil" glory. But the dude doesn't need to dump the entire sordid story on me, or even an abridged version. Just say "she's my... it's complicated. But I'm not going to let Crey use her as a lab animal. Are you with me?"

If the entire story is about a conspiracy blindsiding the contact, you can't expect the player to be aware of things the entire time and somehow not have it bleed over. Players don't have the option of saying "no" when a contact asks them to do something. They have to play along. Or if they're supposed to be clued-in while the contact is oblivious (say, they have no better way of figuring out what's going on than to follow the contact and see what happens to him) then a little internal monologue in the contact briefing can clear that up.

[ QUOTE ]
As far as the map, at first glance it may seem odd and not appropriate, but as this is only the second mission and Arachnos do appear later in the 4th mission, I do not agree with the criticism of the map. I would understand it if Arachnos never appeared in the story at all, but since they do and Nemeis/Countess Crey are mentioning "alliances", I don't believe the map needs changing. At most, I may update the mission entry pop-up for this one to make mention of that "you find it curious that there is Arachnos tech here".

[/ QUOTE ]

If there was a patrol of Arachnos on the bottom floor wondering why (Recluse/a Patron/Dr. Aeon/Arbiter Somebody) was asking them to train Crey employees to use the monitoring gear, a lot would be forgiven.

[ QUOTE ]
It should be fairly obvious to anyone who can read why the Crey may be in an Arachnos warehouse. Were you to paying attention to the dialogue of Nemesis and Countess Crey in this mission, you would have an idea why.

[/ QUOTE ]

Uh, the fourth mission posits that Arachnos are reluctant participants in this thing, having to be convinced to come over by Nosfy and some of the other boys from the old neighborhood. I mean, okay, maybe that's a different internal faction of Arachnos or something? But the time to worry about whether you should form an alliance with other people is BEFORE they've been in your covert base, not after.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Yyyyyep. Look, man, three rules of heroing: Shoot Straight. Conserve Your Inspirations. Never, Never Take A Lead From Lord Nemesis.

[/ QUOTE ]

Again, Nemesis himself reveals nothing. It was a clue you found on him, and as I have said I will change this to something more suitable.

[/ QUOTE ]

Nemesis doesn't deal in coincidences, man. Anything you find a Nemesis duplicate carrying around, it WANTS to be carrying around.

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[ QUOTE ]
Carnies now. I guess we haven't gotten all the irritating psychic AVs out of the way.

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AVs are meant to be tough. It is just a preference, but I prefer a challenge as do most others I team with on a regular basis. Just as a suggestion, but when you read the mission details at the MA terminal and saw that each mission contains a Boss, perhaps you might consider teaming? I can solo this arc with no real difficulties on my tank. If the EBs/AVs are too much for you alone, find a team.

[/ QUOTE ]

"Irritating" and "hard" aren't the same thing. Diabolique is irritating because you can't hit her half the time and she likes to run away. Liberty Belt Miss Liberty when you don't have the Orestes Rifle is hard. (Custom EBs with the tier 9s in their respective defense sets are irritating - there is nothing I can productively do to them when Unstoppable/Instant Healing/Elude/Kuji-in-Whatever/Overload is up, so I just nip off and stare at a wall until I see 'em drop.)

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...okay, Lady Borgia would never say "yucky". More like "uncouth", and I don't believe there's a Freak who's ever couthed in his eventful little life.

Okay, look. Vanessa may be a party girl living in a party world, but that party world is Renaissance-era Italy. Even if she has her mind back at this point, and I have no idea if that's true or not, Giovanna Scaldi has been talking through her mouth for years now and that's not something you just give up.

[/ QUOTE ]

Again, more convoluted thought tangents that ignore the (very important) dialogue of the AV.

[/ QUOTE ]

"You broke a nail!" is not very important dialogue, I'm sorry. It dumps a load of bathos on whatever serious conspiracy stuff she was talking about before.

[ QUOTE ]
I am curious if you were able to understand that "something" was going on here and that it is clear enough through dialogue that it was important for Vanessa to be "shut up"? Also, did it not strike you as odd that the Omega Force Bots show up as well and they are of the same group from the "hero reinforcement" of the first mission?

[/ QUOTE ]

Not really. Given the noises of conspiracy I'd heard up until now it wouldn't seem odd to see Statesman and Baphomet high-fiving back at the entrance. I mean, you were riding the "everything you know is wrong" line pretty hard.

But if it was important to shut up Vanessa, why didn't any "cleaners" show up after I broke into the Crey/Nemesis meeting that gave me a lead to Vanessa? Or in the next two missions, come to think of it? I mean, I was there at the time too, they all saw me. How do they know I'm not a risk?

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[ QUOTE ]
Suuuuure there are worse things than all the villains out there, Mr. Malta guy. Brainwashingparamilitaryorganizationthattriedtodes troyParagonCitywithagiantrobotsaysWHAT?

Malta are on the scale of "dudes you should trust" somewhere just very slightly above Nemesis. Their modus operandi is brainwashing and information warfare.

But we're going to trust them as well, aren't we? Yes, yes we are.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes, you are. While the Malta are noted for secrets within secrets, brainwashing and all that other stuff, they did come to your aid.

[/ QUOTE ]

Like that means anything. How many heroes have the Malta started brainwashing by "coming to their aid in a moment of need" that they themselves created? I mean, Indigo (or was it Crimson? I talk to the other one so much I get confused) has you stop them from setting up one of those -- laying in wait to KO a rising star heroine and pinning her defeat and the subsequent loss of innocent life on some Skull patsies, then showing up to trust her once everyone else writes her off as a blowhard who can't help anyone.

And it doesn't exactly help the Malta's trustworthiness that they're on the same side as the silencer robots.

[ QUOTE ]
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Look, my contact, you can't just throw half the Malta statement out as bull and take the other half of the statement at face value!

[/ QUOTE ]

Why not? At this point, it is the only lead you have. Also, this kind of thing happens numerous times throughout the game when you have dealt with traitors and turncoats. I personally have also seen this in many player created story arcs. It should not be alien to you.

[/ QUOTE ]

Just because a lot of people do it doesn't make it a good idea.

Especially in this case. I mean, this is a contact who had some random guy drop him a tip that led to arresting the HEADS of Nemesis and the Crey Corporation. I do not doubt his ability to procure worthy leads.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Arachnos... and the Council... in a 5th column base. This is turning into like MA Mad Libs at a distressing rate.

[/ QUOTE ]

The only piece here that I can agree with is it being a 5th column base. I suppose I do not need remind you of CoX lore in that the 5th Column was overthrown by the Council, so it is within the realm of possibility to anyone with knowledge of the game history that they have access to old 5th Column bases. I will not change the map, but I will update the text from the contact to make note that it is an old 5th facility the Council is still using.

[/ QUOTE ]

As far as I know the Council is still using ALL the old 5th column bases. They've just given everything a fresh coat of paint and replaced the banners.

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Oh, it's THAT 5th column base. You should be advised, one of the boss locations is up a dozen flights of stairs on the catwalk overlooking the little "parade ground".

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes, I do understand how the map works. Again, while the spawn locations are unfortunate, this is something outside player control. I opted for a better story map than a standard warehouse or cave for this one. Not every Council map will work in terms of location spawns for what I wanted to happen in the story.

I will also add I've seen this base used by everything from Hellions to Rikti in other MA arcs.

[ QUOTE ]
GUESS WHERE NOSFY SPAWNS.

[/ QUOTE ]

When we as story arc creators are granted the ability to control where things spawn (other than Front, Middle or Back), I will agree with this. It should also be noted this is a random thing as 9 times out of 10 that I have run this arc with others, he spawns in other locations.

[/ QUOTE ]

Well, look. The first time I ran an arc on this map ("Welcome to Architect Entertainment") it took me about 15 minutes of trying to find the boss on that map. I saw his dialogue balloon show up somewhere on the screen where there wasn't an obvious little pointy bit to denote his location, and figured he was somewhere stealthed or something.

The thing about that balcony boss position is that it's at a sufficiently restricted angle that TAB won't target anything up there if you're looking from the ground and your camera's in a neutral position. Maybe not even if you spin it up high, but I've never tested.

Now that I know where it is I can spin the camera to confirm that floating dialogue is coming from up there, but everybody who puts a boss fight in that room risks it being somebody's 15 minutes of fumbling around.

[ QUOTE ]
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...Bonedog. BONEDOG. That's a level 0 Skull functionary name. ...his description is his name. That's, uh, that's real helpful there.

[/ QUOTE ]

As with Turbo Starr, this is not a character I came up with. He is one of my friends villains. Also, he does have a bio which explains where he comes from. Did you not see it? If not, then he may be bugged. I will take a look at it this evening.

[ QUOTE ]
He's Thugs/Rad. I have no clue why.

[/ QUOTE ]

First, these are the sets my friend chose when making his villain. Second, why not?

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes, I'd say his bio was bugged. It was, in its entirety, "Bonedog".

But I mean, this guy is supposed to be an important player in a giant conspiracy among high-test villains, but all I have to associate with him is his name.

And his name is Bonedog.

You can see where this might dump another flask of bathos on the waning embers of my give-a-care. (His powerset would probably make more sense if he actually had a bio.)

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Why hello there, Gang War. Or should I call you ENERGY ABSORB MAX.

Almost makes up for the rad debuff.

[/ QUOTE ]

Sounds to me that you had some trouble dealing with a difficult AV solo. This should not surprise you in the least as they are meant to be team content.

[/ QUOTE ]

What? Man, you're complaining about me going off on little details and you expect me to keep quiet when I've been curbstomped? As it is, there are these wonderful things called "inspirations", also this wonderful thing called "Hibernate". I did not die even once fighting anything in this arc.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
So, alright. The guys coordinating every freakin' high-stakes villain group in possibly the world and planning something unknown, but probably evil, are named TORQUE and BONEDOG.

Those are names that you might expect to have some trouble breaking into a modestly well reinforced pawn shop.

[/ QUOTE ]

I disagree with you entirely on the naming.

[/ QUOTE ]

"Torque and Bonedog Destroy the Universe." Gripping sci-fi epic, or stoner film? Me, I say "stoner film".

I mean, okay, you've got a history with these guys that you've developed, and in that context those are dreadful words. But all I have to go on are their names, and I just can't take them seriously.

[ QUOTE ]
I also see that you completely missed Nosferatu's dialogue just before you defeated him. You pretty clearly get the indiciation that Torque Starr and the Red Hand are not the ones "pulling the strings"... they are joining up with the other villain factions just like everyone else.

[/ QUOTE ]

Nosfy says something about how Bonedog's, what, a messenger back to somebody else? I generally assume that subordinates are reporting to their superiors, so even if the Red Hand isn't alpha in this conspiramajig they're at least higher in the food chain than everyone else, who have been loosely laterally connected so far.


Up with the overworld! Up with exploration! | Want a review of your arc?

My arcs: Dream Paper (ID: 1874) | Bricked Electronics (ID: 2180) | The Bravuran Jobs (ID: 5073) | Backwards Day (ID: 329000) | Operation Fair Trade (ID: 391172)

 

Posted

(and here's part 2)

[ QUOTE ]
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...it's an Arachnos base, intro text, but given that people can't make SG bases in MA I guess I can forgive it.

[/ QUOTE ]

And yet earlier you criticize map usage? I agree with you 100% that it is sometimes difficult to find suitable maps that work and add some variety other than "every mission is a plain cave/office/warehouse". However, this is where I think your ability as a reviewer falls down. As I mention earlier, you complain about maps used because they "don't fit", but in this instance it is ok. You contradict your own review.

[/ QUOTE ]

Nah, there's a difference between "making do" and "making up". SG bases plainly can't exist, so I can't exactly say what you should and shouldn't use for one, especially since it was built by guys I have no history for. But Covert Arachnos Warehouse and the Fifth Column's Last Stand are both pretty obviously aligned with some specific use, so putting stock villain groups onto them should mean something.

I mean, weren't you complaining about people putting Rikti onto the Fifth Last Stand map for no reason? It's like that. I've seen so many people use iconic maps and just plop something random there that I can't just take the iconic map as meaning anything, I need a little more in-arc acknowledgement that this was a meaningful choice.

But a generic Arachnos base tileset for a custom group that doesn't exactly have a "base tileset" to call its own? (Especially one that's apparently currently WORKING with Arachnos?) Not as much of an issue.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
So. Rescue over... an emp/rad AV? Ooookay. Looks like an ordinary EB out there, and given that she's boosting her boyfriend I decide to just walk away for a drink of water, and the fight's over when I get back.

[/ QUOTE ]

I can tell by this you did not do anything and allowed the ally to clear the room. Every time I have run this mission solo or on a team, whomever clears the last minion surrounding her receives her buffs.

[/ QUOTE ]

Sure you can.

Look, my ally's "with me" -- we are one unit as far as the MA NPC buff limitations are concerned. She boosted me after the fight was over and the long-recharge Emp buffs recharged longly.

I don't exactly remember who did the last blow to the last mook in the last room -- it was kind of hectic given that it was one of those "high balcony alcove" setups and I had the guards dropping down onto me. And it's not exactly like I can STOP a high-test MA/SR from dealing damage, you know? Especially since he was freakin' one-shotting minions with that broken Shuriken.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Oh good, I'm doubting someone as a result of all this. It's... the guy from Freedom Corps. Because apparently it was completely impossible for Crey to change their mimic-Rikti virus to bypass existing protections.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT.

With all the dubious links in the chain of events leading up to the final mission, I doubt THE FIRST ONE? That's like marking Charlie Chaplin down in a Charlie Chaplin lookalike contest where the other entries are a broom, a block of gelatin, and a small silver bowl full of pudding!

[/ QUOTE ]

Well at least I know you read the final clue. So far you are (sadly) the only person who has not been able to put all the pieces together though. Just about everyone else who has run it (based on feedback received) was able to understand this part quite clearly. In fact, most have enjoyed guessing up to the very end who is involved with what.

[/ QUOTE ]

Look. What is the most reasonable out of all these three scenarios? Nemesis tells me something I should trust. (Or even if it's Crey! Crey judoed me into ending up on the wrong side of the law in that one arc about that one OS!) Malta tells me something I should trust. A hacker releases a new version of an old virus that circumvents the old means of neutralizing it.

People do that last one in real life ALL THE TIME. It is not that hard!

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Storyline - *. So... every villain group and perhaps some hero groups are teaming up to... to... Gaw, I don't know, put on the veryest specialest episode of "This is Your Life" for Statesman? I follow quite possibly the least probable chain of clues ever to get to the end of this all... and why was I even here again? My MA/SR ally could probably just solo all of this stuff himself if it wasn't for the persistent ally range issues.

[/ QUOTE ]

As I mention in my initial post, this arc is a prelude to a larger story. You are the only person to have run this that has not seen the whole "rescue" storyline as the backdrop to a whole other sub-plot within the story beginning. You are also the only person who does not grasp the concept of what a "prelude" or "prologue" is. Knowing this is intended as a prelude, you should automatically understand that there are some things in the story that are not intended to be answered within it.

[/ QUOTE ]

As far as I'm concerned, the non-rescue elements in this 'prelude' can be summed up as "There are rumors about a non-aggression pact circulating the major villain groups; even some heroes are supposed to be signing on. Everyone who's tried to go public about its contents has been silenced."

Which is pretty anemic given how many archvillains I ran over on the way. I mean, if the freakin' archvillains are just speedbumps in Part 0, what do you do to escalate? If Vanessa freaking DaVore is just a minor nuisance, who's an actual threat?

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Gameplay - ***. Even when the Rikti monkey gas wasn't making him cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, my ally still loved to run ahead and slaughter everything. And the "final battle" was over in a handful of seconds without me even having to do anything. Not the fifteen minutes of sweaty-palmed button-mashing action I was expecting.

[/ QUOTE ]

I find the highlighted part very hard to believe. I also don't see how not having a "15 minute button mashing-fest" is a requirement for every single mission.

[/ QUOTE ]

Aim and Atomic Blast can take down a pretty big chunk of a dude's HP bar, especially since MA NPCs love to open with their tier 9 blasts, and an adrenaline-boosted EB ally isn't exactly going to be doing chip damage either. (Or maybe those were just the SFX from Clear Mind, and Fortitude made the difference?)

"Fifteen minutes of sweaty-palmed button-mashing action" is a little insert from the Wachowski Brothers in the videogame adaptation of the Matrix. They show up before the final boss fight and say, basically, in the movies this is where Neo goes martyr, but "congratulations, you died!" doesn't work so well in video game land, so instead they coded in a Massive Monster MegaSmith and enjoy your 15 minutes of et cetera et cetera.

I'm rather big on player agency, so that little bit of fourth-wall destruction warms the cockles of my heart. But this entire arc I was just a tag-along to my contact rescuing his "it's complicated"-on-Facebook, and aside from moving the AVs 3 feet so he didn't just stand there staring at them, I was a tag-along to the fights too.

The "end boss" was just a particularly egregious example of that.

[ QUOTE ]
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Overall - *. As a setup for a larger arc this actually seems completely unnecessary. I mean, I come out the other end knowing pretty much nothing more than when I went in. You've heard of "in medias res", right? Starting a story in the middle?

[/ QUOTE ]

This is where I believe you failed to put all the necessary pieces together. The story does not start in the middle. It starts at the beginning.

[/ QUOTE ]

"In medias res" is a technique that's often used to good effect. While this story started at the beginning of the events, for one guy at least, it doesn't necessarily hurt to start a story in the middle of an action sequence and summarize or reveal details from what would otherwise have been a prelude.

[ QUOTE ]
1. Who was in the Longbow base during the invasion? - The report from the Longbow Lt. provides you this clue. Since one of the heroes who responded has disappeared, that leaves only one other person.

[/ QUOTE ]

Man, how can you say I missed it when RIGHT up there you were all "oh, yes, that's supposed to be disturbing, I'm glad you noticed".

[ QUOTE ]
2. The dialogue of every villain in the arc - they are all speaking of banding together, someone granting them "amnesty" etc.

[/ QUOTE ]

Because the last time the major villain groups sat down together at a table it wasn't all just a Nemesis plot to weed out anybody who the incoming overwhelming Longbow forces would take out. (Well, okay, it didn't start OFF as a Nemesis plot, but the dude turned it into one. See Viridian's arc redside)

Look, I HEARD them all saying that stuff. What I'm not doing is BELIEVING a whit of it. Crey built the Crey Corporation on lies and has duped me before. Nemesis has plans within plans, and those plans have plans in them. The Carnies and the Freakshow just do whatever feels good, at the whims of the, uh, let's say "mercurial" people in charge. The Council and Arachnos have so many splinter factions within themselves that their left hand does not know what their right hand is doing, and in both cases have used heroes as part of their internal power games.

What I'm wondering here is less "who are they all so afraid of" and more "which one of these guys is planning everything, and when are the knives going to come out". Maybe they're all gonna quintuple-cross each other, who knows. It's going to take more than some incidental detail to change my perception of anybody.

[ QUOTE ]
3. Who besides the Malta show up to help you when Vanessa starts to talk? - it should also be fairly clear that the Malta while involved, do not necessarily agree with the other villain factions.

[/ QUOTE ]

Well, they certainly agree with the other faction who showed up to help. I realize that if said other faction shows up as "rogue alignment" then there's no guarantee there'll be any Malta survivors to dispense clues. Not that there are guaranteed to be any as it is, given the pain output of V de V's death scream.

[ QUOTE ]
4. The Longbow Scientists report and your assessment of it - if the Longbow defense grid was designed against viruses of this kind, then how did it get taken down? WHO was there to do it?

[/ QUOTE ]

Because it's... not possible for Crey to re-engineer viruses to get around old defenses? You know what would actually work here?

"It's not something you noticed at first, because the entries are on different pages and buried in the appendix, but the base records its defenses starting to fail some time before the Crey virus enters the system."

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Or, y'know, whatever you had planned for the future of all of this. I've got no idea what the shape is of things to come. And if this is a prequel of sorts, shouldn't I?

[/ QUOTE ]

As I have said previously, it has been fairly evident to everyone else who has run this so far that the story is essentially the villain factions banding together with "someone" for an unknown reason and that the perhaps the Omega Force group of heroes are not what they appear to be. The rescue/romance part is just a backdrop for this one in particular although it will lead to more in the future arcs that continue the underlying story.

[/ QUOTE ]

Or the Malta are being opportunists here and burned a spy within Omega Force to discredit them/start to "turn" my contact. One dude and a robot is not outside the scope of this.

Or this is all a Nemesis plot and the Malta and an unknown fraction of everything else are automatons.

Or my contact is the creepiest stalker who ever creeped and he leaned on everything involved to put his princess in another castle.

Or my contact actually rescued the Praetorian version of his sweetie, who knows that saying "I love you" at strategic moments will get her alone in a room with the History Eraser Button or whatever.

Look, through the entire thing you sow distrust in me. Dudes are betraying their notional allies and trusting their notional enemies. Nothing is what it seems!

I'll say the same thing to you that I say to the contact kicking off mission 4 - I can't just selectively take some parts to be evidence of a conspiracy while assuming other parts are the unvarnished truth.

[ QUOTE ]
Overall, I feel you were a bit too harsh with your review and nitpicks of areas that are in most cases outside a creators control.

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Only thing that was outside your control was that Nosfy was hiding, and even then that was a map you chose.

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The overall rating of 1 star is not appropriate either.

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Sure it is! I think it would be better off if this grand story started off in the next movement and you presented the facts of this arc as a fait accompli from the contact's perspective. "You're invited to our wedding! Man, it was some trial getting up to here, let me tell you." "Yeah, that was Crey working with the Carnies. I've been hearing rumors about some non-aggression pact, guess they were true." "I know it doesn't feel right to go save the Malta, but they helped me find her before. If they're up to something nasty I'll kick 'em in the face myself." "Omega Force robots? Fighting us? But they helped me mow down the opposition before. Nobody even had a chance to say... anything... um. Okay, in hindsight, that IS rather suspicious, but I was desperate."

Yeah, I'd actually believe it more coming second-hand from somebody else than I do seeing it myself.

Not all one-stars are one-stars because they're blatant farms where the only dialogue is "u go kil now". I don't believe I've ever had the displeasure of playing one those as part of this project. This one-star is a one-star because it tried to do grand things and, from where I'm standing, failed spectacularly. (The other arc I've one-starred as part of the aggregator project is a prelude to a similar sweeping arc where you're trying to prevent a conjunction between this Earth and Praetoria and end up screwing it up THREE TIMES. To be fair I believe this is being corrected.)

Now, you and everybody else riding to your rescue in this thread are free to disagree with that. And lord knows I didn't spend the five hours it's taken me to write this post (and rewrite, and consider word choice, and reorder old points) going through this the first time.

But what I promised in the thread that you posted this arc in FOR review, was stream-of-consciousness commentary -- quick li'l notes that may not even be critical in nature and can be tangential or not as the mood strikes me -- with a summary at the end. Pretty much the opposite of this "objective" stuff I keep hearing about, though however much anybody wants to pretend they can give it, nobody can stop being human.

Besides, I have no idea how much somebody even cares or not about what the review has to say, so I'm not going to just spend five hours talking about one of the hundreds of thousands of player-created parts of an internet superhero game a priori. So here's your posteriori. Hope it helps.


Up with the overworld! Up with exploration! | Want a review of your arc?

My arcs: Dream Paper (ID: 1874) | Bricked Electronics (ID: 2180) | The Bravuran Jobs (ID: 5073) | Backwards Day (ID: 329000) | Operation Fair Trade (ID: 391172)

 

Posted

It's been fun reading through your post and laughing as I watch you try and justify your grief. I really did get a good chuckle out of it.

Bottom line; you missed and still completely don't understand the story for what it's trying to do.

I find it hilarious and hypocritical that you got this part...

[ QUOTE ]
As far as I'm concerned, the non-rescue elements in this 'prelude' can be summed up as "There are rumors about a non-aggression pact circulating the major villain groups; even some heroes are supposed to be signing on. Everyone who's tried to go public about its contents has been silenced."

[/ QUOTE ]

Yet totally failed to see this was intended to lead to something more with....

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Which is pretty anemic given how many archvillains I ran over on the way. I mean, if the freakin' archvillains are just speedbumps in Part 0, what do you do to escalate? If Vanessa freaking DaVore is just a minor nuisance, who's an actual threat?

[/ QUOTE ]


No [censored] Sherlock! Who is the major threat that has all the villains so scared they are banding together?? THAT'S THE QUESTION BEING POSED IN THIS STORY AND NOT INTENDED TO BE ANSWERED IN THIS ARC. Pull your head out. Are you really that dense not to see that??

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This one-star is a one-star because it tried to do grand things and, from where I'm standing, failed spectacularly.

[/ QUOTE ]

The sub-text is a prelude to the "grand things" and not meant to be answered in this particular arc. Seriously, my 9 year old son understood this much. No offense meant, but if you missed that much, you're pretty freakin' stupid and need to stop trying to pass yourself off as any kind of "reviewer". You just don't know how to grasp multi-layered content.

This arc isn't meant to provide answers. It's setting up something more to come in future stories, and I'm betting that the romance part is going to come into play later on as well.

Just admit it... you're unable to grasp multi-layered stories, got ticked and frustrated because your crappy ice/axe tanker got his butt handed to him a few times by some EBs, didn't get the answers you wanted in a story that CLEARLY EVEN TO THE SIMPLEST OF MINDS isn't designed to provide them, so you griefed the arc.

Nowhere near a 1 star arc. Just admit you griefed it and move on.


Edit: When we ran this, Nosferatu didn't spawn on the stairs. I just soloed it again this morning and he didn't spawn there either. So penalizing people for bad spawning out of their control is idiotic and clearly shows you like nitpicking just to grief.

Wanted to add this too... stop crying about Nosferatu's spawn point. It is something entirely out of the player control and unfair to penalize an arc that uses this map. You got an unlucky spawn when you ran it.

Here he is spawned at another location . You're intentionally griefing if you penalize story writers for bad spawning. I suppose you penalize them if NPCs get stuck in maps too?


 

Posted

Thanks for taking the time to write a reply. It wasn't necessary, but I appreciate you doing so.

Everyone is entitled to their opinions. I was able to gather (albeit with great difficulty having to sift through meaningless train-of-thought commentary) what I was looking for in terms of a critique from your review.

A few things are fairly clear to me;

1. You tried running an arc on a character far too low in level for the villain NPCs contained in it (the devs have designed them for levels 45 to 50 for a reason).

2. You are not familiar with and therefore don't know how to critique stories that contain sub-plots.

3. Don't seem to have the imagination to expand beyond established canon with the CoX character groups, which at least IMO is one of the best things about the MA system.

4. Overall were expecting this arc to answer some questions that are not meant to be answered within it.

I also will maintain a 1 star rating is not fair, but you are entitled to your opinion. Feedback I have received via in-game tell, PM on the forums and that I have read elsewhere (including your own website) tells me that overall people enjoy the story for different reasons and are able to grasp what it is intended to do.

Again, I'll re-iterate that the story is not intended to answer why all the villain groups are banding together. It is meant to start a larger story that will. The romance aspect and rescue are the story that is taking place while the player uncovers more, although the contacts fears about their relationship "hurting the team" will (SPOILER WARNING!)come into play in the future since "choosing sides" will have a large part to play in the story. That is the intent and no one else so far besides you has had trouble understanding this much.

I'll also maintain that penalizing people for "bad spawning" on maps is unfair. I've seen the same maps used numerous times and the locations where bosses can spawn varies greatly. This is entirely out of a writers control and to penalize them for it is unfair and gives me the impression you are looking for things to criticize. As I said, when story creators are able to set exact spawn points on maps and they intentionally put them someplace bad, then I would agree with you. As others have mentioned, NPCs can become stuck in the map geometry and that is outside player control as well. I'm certain you criticize the writers for this as well.

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I mean, weren't you complaining about people putting Rikti onto the Fifth Last Stand map for no reason?

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First, I wouldn't "complain". I would let the author know that it did not seem to fit the story if appropriate and suggest they try something else. I don't go lambasting them for their choice and 1 star rating their arc. I try to see that someone is trying to do something unique. The Council using an old 5th Column base in a story is not that much of an imaginary stretch knowing the history of the two groups. If you lack the minimal amount of imagination to believe that it is within possibility it is a location they have not gotten around to "putting a fresh coat of paint on", then I don't know what to tell you. I believe that you are thinking this map is for 1 purpose in an Oro TF and should not be used for anything else. Not everything needs to take place in a bland warehouse or office. Those maps do get old after a while. I also understand that the MA system simply does not offer enough suitable locations for some stories at the present time. I personally give authors some slack. You choose to criticize them for it. Again, personal opinion and preference.

As an example, I've seen the Eden map used from everything to "Never Never Land" to "Fangorn Forest" to "Perez Park". In most all cases, I go along with what the author is doing with their story since I know they are limited in choices. Again, it is a personal preference.

I've run story arcs where Statesman (who is portrayed as a completely inept hero) and the Freedom Phalanx are defeated by a group of Hellions. Does that seem silly? Maybe to some, but I give the author credit for trying to do something unique.

Overall, you did seem to get the major points of what the story is trying to get across;

1. Someone planted an altered computer virus to take make it appear that it took out a Longbow base while the Rikti were invading. That someone isn't what they appear to be.

2. The villains are banding together for an unknown reason and not all of them seem to be in agreement about it. Whatever the reason, some of them seem nervous.

3. You don't know who is behind the villains uniting or why yet.

In terms of the final villain being "too weak" and "easily defeated within a handful of seconds", I chose this purposefully.

I'm more than happy to change him to a Psi Blast/Willpower AV that will 2 shot just about everyone who fights him and is un-killable unless you have a full team of nothing but debuffers, but that would make it too difficult for most to enjoy and therefore I am glad he can be soloed. I'd rather err on the side of "too easy" than "ridiculously hard" or "unbeatable".

Overall, I feel you were expecting too much and looking for answers to everything in 1 story. I believe I can understand why. After running through some of your arcs, it's fairly evident you want/need everything spoon fed to you and tied up neatly in a bow so you know exactly what to do and where without using any of your own imagination or asking the player to use theirs. Personally, I don't need my stories or objectives spoon fed to me as I feel it lacks a degree of realism, immersion and suspense. Based on the feedback I have received from others, they don't care for this style of storytelling either.

As I said, you are entitled to your opinion. As far as the 1 star rating is concerned, it would seem that I am not the only one who believes it is unfair, but again it is your choice to rate it that. Your review is honestly not so important to me that I feel others will not understand or enjoy the story.


Shard Warrior - 50 MA/Regen/BM Scrapper

Founding Member and Leader : Shadow-Force
Co-Leader: Council of Heroes
"Whatever evils come this way... we will be there to stop them."

 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]

A few things are fairly clear to me;


[/ QUOTE ]

Except none of them are true!

[ QUOTE ]
1. You tried running an arc on a character far too low in level for the villain NPCs contained in it (the devs have designed them for levels 45 to 50 for a reason).

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah. What part of "I didn't die once" escaped your notice? I SK high 20s and 30s up as part of AV stomping teams all the time. Even tanking, they do okay. If I didn't have the EB ally I'd probably just pull out my squishy pal who's rad to be with, but I've taken on an arc with an extreme SS/extreme Inv end boss with this guy. He can (admittedly somewhat laboriously) take down pretty much every AV->EB in the game.

The "reason" they're designed for levels 45-50 is because they're in high-level stories, not because only high-level characters have the powers to confront them.

[ QUOTE ]
2. You are not familiar with and therefore don't know how to critique stories that contain sub-plots.

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh _man_. You should say that to Venture, Ferghas, and the Cheshire Cat sometime, they'll HOWL.

[ QUOTE ]
3. Don't seem to have the imagination to expand beyond established canon with the CoX character groups, which at least IMO is one of the best things about the MA system.

4. Overall were expecting this arc to answer some questions that are not meant to be answered within it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Man, now I'm getting deja vu. Contradicting canon is not the same as expanding -- the last time "all the villains banded together", Nemesis pulled out his big brass backstabber and laughed all the way to everyone punching him in the face, and then he laughed more back at base because he just sent a roboclone.

Why is this different? Just SAYING it is doesn't fly.

Put a mission in a destroyed map! Maybe the last Arachnos base is ON FIRE and I'm all like "contact, did you do this?" and Torque's like "Contact! YOU did this!" and my contact's like "it was like this when I got here" and my contact's squeeze is all "oh, contact, it was HORRIBLE, here's a clue involving monsters out of space and time!"

Or Vanessa and the Freaks are meeting in an abandoned office with a hole in the floor, and Vanessa's a captive with Carnies trying vainly to calm her down (or Omega Force robots that try to silence her, and then you when you show up) and she babbles about the THING that came for her. And down there in the cave waits a ??? (or perhaps some Malta captured by the minions of ???)

Or there's supposed to be a meeting somewhere outdoors but it turns out to happen in Boomtown, or Flooded Boomtown, or similar, (but not Red Atlas, I have WHITE HOT HATE for Red Atlas) and the place is covered with bodybags and the patrols are paranoid survivors.

Just seeing the in-text reactions to something isn't enough to really sell me that it exists, especially since a lot of the groups those reactions come from are not entirely trustworthy for reasons I have already enumerated. It ain't real until I see more evidence of its passing than just talking heads. Honestly I'm more ticked off that this arc doesn't even have me asking the right questions -- as it is, I'm more like "okay, who's actually faking this whole thing and when are they gonna backstab?" than "what is this monstrosity out of time and place?"

And no matter how much you try to pretend these are just the ravings of a deluded madman trying to justify his very existence and failing miserably, this is all what I honestly think. Sure it contradicts itself in places. Guess what - I'm human, I can believe as many as six impossible things before breakfast.

I'm not going to pretend everybody's going to doubt what you got going here, or that nobody will ever enjoy this arc, (seriously, if nothing else this little gadfly of mine got people cheering for you, and good for them! People should speak out more about arcs they had fun playing!) but this is what made it one star worth of awful for me.

And a little note to the white knight squad - my saying the sauce at your favorite corner bistro makes me sick to my stomach does not make you a horrible subhuman for liking it, or me a horrible subhuman for disliking it. Sometimes people are just that different, and I'm not going to assume YOU'RE lying when you disagree with my position, so extend me the same courtesy?

Ah, and one last thing I should say. cohmissionreview.com is not my site, as you'd know if you poked around a bit and found its actual creator's global. I just like using it as a third-party tool, and I started the aggregator thread to get more people using it, though that's not exactly been a huge success thus far.

Everybody's got a voice, so make ya voices heard!


Up with the overworld! Up with exploration! | Want a review of your arc?

My arcs: Dream Paper (ID: 1874) | Bricked Electronics (ID: 2180) | The Bravuran Jobs (ID: 5073) | Backwards Day (ID: 329000) | Operation Fair Trade (ID: 391172)

 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
Man, now I'm getting deja vu. Contradicting canon is not the same as expanding -- the last time "all the villains banded together", Nemesis pulled out his big brass backstabber and laughed all the way to everyone punching him in the face, and then he laughed more back at base because he just sent a roboclone.

[/ QUOTE ]

You're faulting a story for saying it "isn't canon", then going on to say what happens in the story has already happened in canon! Which is it?

Whatever you're smoking, can we have some too? It seems like good stuff.

You do know not every story needs to be "canon", right? Why do you think this specific feature to flag a story as "canon" and "non-canon" is coming in i15??

[ QUOTE ]
Why is this different? Just SAYING it is doesn't fly.

[/ QUOTE ]

And you STILL don't get that YOU DON'T KNOW HOW THIS IS DIFFERENT YET. THE ARC IS NOT MEANT TO TELL YOU WHY. IT IS MEANT TO PRESENT CLUES TO THE BEGINNING!

Seriously dude, give up on trying to pass yourself off as a critic. You're just failing miserably. You griefed the arc. Just own up to it already like a man.

EDIT:

I forgot to add, please add my honest review of this arc back onto your website. I've noticed that mine and a few of my VG mates reviews have "mysteriously vanished". Please add them back.