Changes made as a result of player feedback:
* Standardized all other NPCs calling the player "Kid <name>" instead of a variety of "Kid <name>", "Teen <name>" and "<name> Jr.", except for Cora, who thinks the player sucks, so calls them "<name> Jr." to annoy them.
* Standardized heights of the NPC allies to all be about the same. This made Val taller and Cora shorter.
* Fixed dialog for a clockwork patrol so they won't say "I hate Kid $name" when no string substitution is possible.
* Shortened "Monitor Duty" clicky; was 30 seconds, but now 20 seconds.
* Made "Monitor Duty" mission a timed mission lasting 2 hours. It should never actually take 2 hours, this is just to scare the player into thinking it might.
* Changed Clamor's dialog from "watch my shows" to "watch my soaps".
@PW - Police Woman (50 AR/dev blaster on Liberty)
TALOS - PW war journal - alternate contact tree using MA story arcs
=VICE= "Give me Liberty, or give me debt!"
Also fixed animations for the hostage in the first mission. Now the hostage should do the "I'm captured" animation, not the zombies guarding her.
@PW - Police Woman (50 AR/dev blaster on Liberty)
TALOS - PW war journal - alternate contact tree using MA story arcs
=VICE= "Give me Liberty, or give me debt!"
One of the ambushes the Clockwork King summons uses "name Jr", but the Clockwork are portrayed as a little loopy so that's probably okay. I like the one going "I love Penelope Yin!".
"Citadel XP" is nice, but can you use "Red Hat Citadel" instead? With obvious jaunty headgear? That may cause operating system wars given the final boss, or you could call him "Solaris Citadel", Mr. S, to avoid that clue in XP's locker implying Valkyrie is a tech genius out of nowhere and dumping all over him. This is just some crazy tech geekery and not a serious suggestion, and also because I think Citadel would look hilarious in a jaunty red fedora.
Definitely captured the "teen superhero drama" feel you were going for. Just a few things I'd change:
1) Put in some amusing "interrupted" text when you try monitor duty. I wondered what it'd say and walked away disappointed.
2) Can you put the Teen Phalanx base on a slightly larger map? Clamor spawned right on top of Bitty Babs, and I mean RIGHT on top.
3) Don't give Manticora Oil Slick Arrow. I hit a bug where Citakid sparked it off but then it started damaging the good guys.
4) Look into a different objective order or something so that you can probably get the team together to fight Mr. V. He spawned right up a blind ramp and I only had a couple allies at the time. Fortunately Cora was in the same room.
5) Make all the defeat boss objectives defeat boss ONLY. Most of the Teen Phalanx can do some kind of crazy knockback and I don't want to hunt for a minion that fell down a little crevice to clear the mission.
Up with the overworld! Up with exploration! | Want a review of your arc?
My arcs: Dream Paper (ID: 1874) | Bricked Electronics (ID: 2180) | The Bravuran Jobs (ID: 5073) | Backwards Day (ID: 329000) | Operation Fair Trade (ID: 391172)
The idea of Citadel in a red hat (I picture a big red fireman's hat) is hilarious, but with Vista being both a better known OS and more widely hated, I thought "Citadel Vista" made much more sense as a villain name, especially as a villain who wants to prove he is better than Citadel XP and wants to replace him.
I had another player suggest I should have Citadel Vista beat up Citadel XP, but then Citadel 7 should swoop in for a rescue. I thought this was getting a little *too* silly though. 
Changes made:
1. Corrected Clockwork King's second ambush to also call the player "Kid Soandso" instead of "Soandso Jr."
2. Added lots of text for the various glowies in mission 3.
Monitor:
"You get bored and your attention wanders. Maybe there's something good to eat in the fridge?" (interrupt)
Refrigerator:
"You start rummaging through the fridge for snacks." (begin)
"You decide you're not hungry after all." (interrupt)
"This ham sandwich looks pretty good! Yum!" (complete)
Kid Valkyrie's locker: (and other lockers given similar messages)
"You start snooping through Val's stuff." (begin)
"You guiltily decide to leave Val's locker alone." (interrupt)
"You find a few things in Val's locker." (complete)
3. Changed Manticora from "extreme trick arrow" to "hard trick arrow", which cuts Oil Slick Arrow from her arsenal, as well as Poison Gas Arrow, Acid Arrow and EMP Arrow. It makes sense to me that oil slick probably makes all the NPCs flip out; shame to lose Acid Arrow, but probably the other two trick arrows are no big loss.
4. I changed the map for mission 4 to Council Set/Large/20, which looks a little more linear to me. Most of those Council maps are horrible rabbit warrens, frankly; but I think I need to use one to match up with the Rogue Robots and pseudo-Vandal. Anyway, hopefully a more linear map will make the player encounter the teen heroes first (2 are "front", 1 is "middle", 1 is "back") and the AV last (always "back"). The one teen who is in "back" is Cora, who I'd prefer to be the last ally you encounter as she was the first one "captured" and hopefully her change of heart towards the protagonist will be more moving that way.
5. I changed Dr. Vahzilok, Clockwork King and Citadel Vista so that you only need to get the boss. I left Clamor as needing to clear her entire encounter, though, because she attacks you in the SG base and logically I think the heroes should want to clear all Freaks from their base.
Thanks a ton for the input! I appreciate it.
@PW - Police Woman (50 AR/dev blaster on Liberty)
TALOS - PW war journal - alternate contact tree using MA story arcs
=VICE= "Give me Liberty, or give me debt!"
[ QUOTE ]
Can you put the Teen Phalanx base on a slightly larger map? Clamor spawned right on top of Bitty Babs, and I mean RIGHT on top.
[/ QUOTE ]
Oh, forgot to address this - but for technical reasons this mission has to use a really small map. In order to get the map to start initially empty, I had to define an encounter for every single spawn point on the map, and set it up so that all those encounters are triggered from clicking glowies. The smaller map also helps the player quickly locate each spawn of Freaks as it arrives, which I think helps the sense of immersion.
@PW - Police Woman (50 AR/dev blaster on Liberty)
TALOS - PW war journal - alternate contact tree using MA story arcs
=VICE= "Give me Liberty, or give me debt!"
I had a player tell me he had been virtually certain the end boss would turn out to be Manticora, turned evil, because Statesboy broke her heart. That made me smile that someone had given that much thought to the little melodramatic touches I gave the NPCs.
@PW - Police Woman (50 AR/dev blaster on Liberty)
TALOS - PW war journal - alternate contact tree using MA story arcs
=VICE= "Give me Liberty, or give me debt!"
PW, there's one more thing I should say, and it's not actually going to help in any way at all, but I'm sure you realize there's no good way to make a junior version of somebody's name. If we ever get user-set variables ("Ness thought about some RABBIT and craved eating it") you're going to work them in here sharpish, am I right?
The character I'm gunning for the mission architect accolade on first is a spine/regen scrapper named Harlequin Cirsium (she's a Bladegrass who joined the Carnival of Light, don't ask) and "Kid Harlequin Cirsium" is just a dang mouthful. They might call her "Kid Thistle", but...
OH! Idea! Glorious idea!
"Kid $origin".
I think the modest spread of names works, and nobody ever uses origin for anything. Cora can still call you $name Jr to be snarky.
Up with the overworld! Up with exploration! | Want a review of your arc?
My arcs: Dream Paper (ID: 1874) | Bricked Electronics (ID: 2180) | The Bravuran Jobs (ID: 5073) | Backwards Day (ID: 329000) | Operation Fair Trade (ID: 391172)
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Can you put the Teen Phalanx base on a slightly larger map? Clamor spawned right on top of Bitty Babs, and I mean RIGHT on top.
[/ QUOTE ]
Oh, forgot to address this - but for technical reasons this mission has to use a really small map. In order to get the map to start initially empty, I had to define an encounter for every single spawn point on the map, and set it up so that all those encounters are triggered from clicking glowies. The smaller map also helps the player quickly locate each spawn of Freaks as it arrives, which I think helps the sense of immersion.
[/ QUOTE ]
Why bother leaving it initially empty? Put in some Slag Golems! ("They really don't clean up in here. In fact - did you just see some of that move?") They're the right level range and everything.
Up with the overworld! Up with exploration! | Want a review of your arc?
My arcs: Dream Paper (ID: 1874) | Bricked Electronics (ID: 2180) | The Bravuran Jobs (ID: 5073) | Backwards Day (ID: 329000) | Operation Fair Trade (ID: 391172)
[ QUOTE ]
PW, there's one more thing I should say, and it's not actually going to help in any way at all, but I'm sure you realize there's no good way to make a junior version of somebody's name. If we ever get user-set variables ("Ness thought about some RABBIT and craved eating it") you're going to work them in here sharpish, am I right?
The character I'm gunning for the mission architect accolade on first is a spine/regen scrapper named Harlequin Cirsium (she's a Bladegrass who joined the Carnival of Light, don't ask) and "Kid Harlequin Cirsium" is just a dang mouthful. They might call her "Kid Thistle", but...
[/ QUOTE ]
Well, I would absolutely love a $sidekickname string substitution that automatically turns:
"Valkyrie" to "Kid Valkyrie",
"Statesman" to "Statesboy",
"Police Woman" to "Police Girl",
"Ms. Liberty" to "Junior Miss",
etc., but I am pretty sure the devs would not want to add this solely for my story arc. Almost as good would be to let the player enter in a name to use as their sidekickname.
I wanted to give the player a sidekickname and have all the NPCs who interact with him/her use it, so as to build up the sense of immersion; I also liked the conceit that, for example, "Harlequin Cirsium" is a well established heroine, while "Kid Harlequin Cirsium" is her sidekick.
Unfortunately my "Kid $name" paradigm sometimes breaks down (for example, if your name is "Kid Valkyrie" and you play this arc, you get called "Kid Kid Valkyrie") but I decided it was the best I could do with the tools I had available.
The "Kid $origin" name is a neat idea, but I don't think "Kid Science" sounds nearly as connected to your main hero as "Kid $name" is.
Anyway, thanks much for the input!
@PW - Police Woman (50 AR/dev blaster on Liberty)
TALOS - PW war journal - alternate contact tree using MA story arcs
=VICE= "Give me Liberty, or give me debt!"
[ QUOTE ]
The "Kid $origin" name is a neat idea, but I don't think "Kid Science" sounds nearly as connected to your main hero as "Kid $name" is.
Anyway, thanks much for the input!
[/ QUOTE ]
Well, a lot of heroes had kid sidekicks that weren't just junior versions of themselves and their costumes. Like the All-American and Slugger, the Junior Dynamo.
"Kid $origin" isn't going to be glamorous but unlike "Kid $name" it's always going to make sense.
Man, if only they had $ladlass then the instant sidekick generator could be pretty much complete.
Up with the overworld! Up with exploration! | Want a review of your arc?
My arcs: Dream Paper (ID: 1874) | Bricked Electronics (ID: 2180) | The Bravuran Jobs (ID: 5073) | Backwards Day (ID: 329000) | Operation Fair Trade (ID: 391172)
Now I MUST do this arc with my primary blaster so I can hear the characters call him "Kid Kid Eros." 
"Bombarding the CoH/V fora with verbosity since January, 2006"
Djinniman, level 50 inv/fire tanker, on Victory
-and 40 others on various servers
A CoH Comic: Kid Eros in "One Light"
I've been on a kick to write better souvenirs for my story arcs, so I added about 2000 characters of text to the Teen Phalanx Forever! souvenir, detailing the events of the story arc.
Thanks much to everyone who's run it so far.
@PW - Police Woman (50 AR/dev blaster on Liberty)
TALOS - PW war journal - alternate contact tree using MA story arcs
=VICE= "Give me Liberty, or give me debt!"
Over the weekend I added a couple more pop culture lines just for fun:
* Mission 3, first wave of Freaks invading the SG base now should say "All your base are belong to us!"
* Mission 4, when you rescue Back Alley Boy, he should now say "Nobody puts BABy in the corner!"
I've gotten a lot of nice feedback on the story arc so far and I greatly appreciate it.
On feedback requesting changes:
I had one person say it was too easy because the NPCs beat things up, and another person say it was too hard (and presumably rage-quit 
) because Clamor isn't soloable. With some people saying too easy and some people saying too hard, I feel like I better just leave the difficulty the way it is.
I also had two people say they weren't getting enough exp from this story arc because the NPCs were taking exp due to helping out. I really need to have the NPC allies present in order to support the story concept, though, so I can't think of anything I can do about this problem. Sorry!
Anyway, as of Sunday night, Teen Phalanx Forever! has had more players play through it than either of my other story arcs, which have been published for a week longer, and has been teetering on the edge of 4.5 stars. I kept watching my average rating flickering between 5 stars and 4 stars all weekend with much anxiety... what do you mean, get a life? Hmmmph!
Thanks much to everyone who has played through it!
@PW - Police Woman (50 AR/dev blaster on Liberty)
TALOS - PW war journal - alternate contact tree using MA story arcs
=VICE= "Give me Liberty, or give me debt!"
See what people are saying about Teen Phalanx Forever!:
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] 2009-04-20 03: 36:37 Message From @stellar : Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: No statesboy - next issue? good arc
[/ QUOTE ][ QUOTE ]
[Tell] 2009-04-20 11: 40:12 Message From @Midnight Miss : Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: Liked the idea of the Teen Supers, it was fun picking up the crew as I went along....there was a minor sound glitch near the sewer falls at beginning and the tank seemed a little weak in comparison to the rest of the team
[/ QUOTE ][ QUOTE ]
[Tell] 2009-04-20 12: 45:52 Message From @MYCROFTXXX : Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: Yeah, that was fun! VERY cool concept! Ramping levels was very cool, also.
[/ QUOTE ][ QUOTE ]
[Tell] 2009-04-20 13: 49:33 Message From @Delphi : Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: Enjoyed it a lot!
[/ QUOTE ][ QUOTE ]
[Tell] 2009-04-20 13: 56:44 Message From @O.o Snap : Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: Really enjoyed this arc. It was very well written. You have a great imagination!
[Tell] @O.o Snap: I'm very critical when it comes to storyline... how everything meshes from storyline, to characters, and transition... I trie dto find fault and found nothing... I'm hoping it hits hall of fame or dev's choice... u hit it outta the ballpark lol...
[/ QUOTE ][ QUOTE ]
[Tell] 2009-04-20 21: 00:35 Message From @Industrial Strength : Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: Very clever use of the mission objectives system.
[/ QUOTE ][ QUOTE ]
[Tell] @Sakura-Kishi: Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: would love to see a sequal
[/ QUOTE ][ QUOTE ]
[Tell] @Reika Winde: Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: Love this arc! Keep up the good work...
[/ QUOTE ][ QUOTE ]
[Tell] 2009-04-21 02: 01:22 Message From @l0st : Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: Good writing and characters, but the allies make things a little too easy. maybe bump them down to LTs? 4 stars
[/ QUOTE ][ QUOTE ]
[Tell] 2009-04-21 02: 18:37 Message From @Tempest Master : Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: Cool arc
[/ QUOTE ][ QUOTE ]
[Tell] 2009-04-21 02: 20:15 Message From @Buxley : Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: Very well written story arc, I enjoyed playing it. Thanks!
[/ QUOTE ]
In response to specific concerns:
* Statesboy never does appear in this arc; one of the ideas is that before you joined, Statesboy quit the team over some unspecified problem, and the Teen Phalanx has recruited you (and your team members) to bolster their ranks. Naturally, this is one of the reasons that Cora hates your guts (well, in addition to just plain being contrary).
* I'm afraid I can't do anything about sound issues from the mission editor.
* The melee allies are definitely weaker than the ranged ones; but I feel this is largely due to the mob AI. I think BABy in particular may seem weaker because he is SS/invuln and invuln secondary is not too hot at the low levels of this arc. I'm hesitant to change their powersets, though, as they are meant to match up with their canonical mentor heroes.
* I'm noting another data point of someone saying "Too easy". But I've also had one person who said "Too hard", so I'm reluctant to make it harder unless I get a lot of "Too easy" feedbacks. I would rather have some people think "That was fun but a little too easy", than have some people unable to finish the arc and think "That sucked because it was too hard" and quit the story arc.
Thanks much for the feedback!!
@PW - Police Woman (50 AR/dev blaster on Liberty)
TALOS - PW war journal - alternate contact tree using MA story arcs
=VICE= "Give me Liberty, or give me debt!"
What people are saying about Teen Phalanx Forever!
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] 2009-04-21 04: 56:06 Message From @Eldermage : Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: the ma is great! too bad Kid Val on the 2nd mission just doesnt do anything unless something comes too close
[/ QUOTE ]
Thanks! Regarding Kid Val, the AI of melee allies does seem to be weird sometimes, and is unfortunately beyond my control. In particular they'll often move to just outside of melee range with an enemy, but be just a little too far to be able to swing. I generally have good luck dragging melee allies onto enemies by moving to the other side of the bad guy, causing the ally to nearly bump into them.
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] 2009-04-21 17: 31:19 Message From @Dark Matter-VK : Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: Great job on this story arc, best one I've played yet!
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] 2009-04-21 21: 25:02 Message From @PhiladelphiaPA : Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: WoW!!!
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] @Shadow-Rush: Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: I enjoyed the arc for what it was. I don't usually enjoy arcs that are somewhat non-canon (the Phalanxers having kids), but I was pleased with how this one went. Just a suggestion, I know you mentioned the bosses being an archvillain in the mission descriptions, you may wish to highlight it with the yellow text. Or put a note of it in the arc description, or in the first mission stating that you may encounter AV's in this arc. Still 5 stars from me. I also posted a couple of my arcs on your review thread.
[/ QUOTE ]
Right now I have Coyote in his first mission briefing explicitly warning that the Teen Phalanx routinely fights AVs, but if the player "stays with the team" s/he should be okay. This is meant to hint that linking up with all the Teen Phalanx members will help to defeat the AVs. I also explicitly mention the AV in the briefings for missions 1 and 2; maybe highlighting their names in yellow would be a good idea though.
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] @Erisian: Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: Fun, good writing, nice character designs.
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] @Lirene: Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: Great arc! Wonderfully inspired idea. I particularly liked how you set up the Monitor Duty mission. Just one quibble: Manticore and Psyche have raised a teenage daughter, but Penelope Yin is still a teen herself? Until the second mission, I'd gathered the story took place in the future, which I think would be cool (sort of a "Batman Beyond" concept). I'd consider making Penelope an older, more mature young woman.
[/ QUOTE ]
Good catch; that IS a continuity problem, and not easy to resolve. Right now I am using the default "Penelope Yin" model; I could make an older version, but I'm not sure an older Penelope Yin would be as recognizable to the player, and Clockwork King's crush on her might not work as well with an adult version. I'm thinking my best bet is to just ignore the time scale issue and hope no one minds; just like Batman never ages past 30 even when his first Robin grows up to be in the mid 20s.
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] 2009-04-23 19: 05:54 Message From @Carnada : Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: 5 stars from Carnada. Enjoyed the arc! Try mine!
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] @Staticore: Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: Great storyline - lots of fun, and a solid challenge. Would love to see another Teen Phalanx arc!
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] 2009-04-24 23: 13:27 Message From @Xenite Blackthread : Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: That was just... awesome! It felt as real as a TV episode in any of those comic cartoon shows about teen supergroups. I loved the monitor duty mission, wonderful job there! A pleasure to play. (@Xenite Blackthread a.k.a LordXenite)
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] 2009-04-25 03: 13:46 Message From @FemFury : Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: Loved the teen versions of the Phalanx. The missions and the characterizations were very true to the structure of a teen superhero team. Nice windows slam too. Fun stucture and good use of mission design in the "monitor duty" mission, using the tools creatively to forward the story. Having fun figuring out what a teen sidekick version of my character is like...
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] 2009-04-25 21: 21:17 Message From @Tempest Teacup : Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: Absolutely phenomenal, PW, and I say that as someone who had to play through as a blaster. The monitor mission was genius, and the descriptions and dialogue were first-rate. I'm sure people commented on the necessary repetition of getting the team together every mission, and the difficulty of Vista due to ENERGY PUNCH-- but really those were minor issues for me. I had a whole lot of fun. Will recommend.
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] 2009-04-25 22: 58:47 Message From @Atiaxi : Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: That was pretty darn awesome. I loved the 'monitor duty' mission, it was a great change of pace and the clues were hilarious. Citadel Vista was also a great enemy.
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] 2009-04-26 12: 00:28 Message From @Camper : Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: Excellent job.
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] 2009-04-26 12: 36:50 Message From @Antaean : Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: I loved your arc - 5 stars for you! If you get the time, please feel free to try my arc 68526 and rate it as well.
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] 2009-04-26 14: 13:05 Message From @Armless Dan : Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: Very clever, fun to play. Loved the monitor duty mission, the set up the clues and the dialog. Rated 5 stars.
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] 2009-04-26 14: 56:57 Message From @Hobbes : Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: Excellent Story, I like it very much. Your texts are very good, long enough to flesh out the story and keep the interest. Great work.
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] 2009-04-27 05: 03:08 Message From @gdb : Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: Very cute. I got a little frustrated as I felt that I was getting too much help from Valkyrie & Back-Alley Brawler (especially in the last mission).
[/ QUOTE ]
It's interesting how this contrasts with the earlier person who had trouble getting Kid Valkyrie to do anything. Melee allies seem really hit or miss on their AI. I hate to change them all to be ranged, though, because I think their powersets need to match their mentors, and having a mix of ranged and melee types makes it feel more like a "team" to me.
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] @Eric Pile: Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: I really enjoyed your arc, thank you
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] 2009-04-29 20: 30:25 Message From @Mecha GM : Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: A thoroughly charming arc. Had a nice Teen Titans feel to it, and my choice of playing my Warshade actually felt like it fit in with the team. Lots of fun, and the Citadel XP/Vista joke caught me completely off guard. Kudos. If you have time and the inclination, I'd love some feedback on my arc, Operation Pitcher Plant (arc # 4370).
[/ QUOTE ]
Thanks everyone for the nice feedback!
Teen Phalanx Forever!
@PW - Police Woman (50 AR/dev blaster on Liberty)
TALOS - PW war journal - alternate contact tree using MA story arcs
=VICE= "Give me Liberty, or give me debt!"
Changes:
Added a mission title and subtitle to each mission briefing, in "comic book" style, for sake of flavor. The missions are now officially "Teen Phalanx #21" through "Teen Phalanx #24", and each is subtitled in the style of a comic book cover blurb.
Mission 1 against Dr. Vahzilok has been heavily revised to add more content as a result of feedback.
* An overall kidnapping plot by the Vahzilok has been added. The intent of this is to address player feedback that the Vahzilok mission was too similar to existing canon missions that people have done hundreds of times before.
* One new model used to support this plot. Should be a relatively weak minion; I was worried about custom models overpowering lowbies.
* Three hostages and two clues added to support this plot. This makes the mission objectives a pretty long laundry list, but I'm hoping it will be interesting enough that this is OK.
* Some rewording/grammatical fixes.
@PW - Police Woman (50 AR/dev blaster on Liberty)
TALOS - PW war journal - alternate contact tree using MA story arcs
=VICE= "Give me Liberty, or give me debt!"
I did'nt see my tell on here. But I have to say so far, this is my personal favorite arc. Just love the whole concept. Very fun. Once again GOOD JOB!!!!!!!!
ARC # 2517 "Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting"
ARC# 102898 "The Great Sewer Rescue"
Changes made:
* Updated mission 4 to change the big bad guy's ambush from generic minions to custom minions.
* I basically had so much extra story arc space that I felt I could afford to add 2 custom models solely for this ambush, for the sake of fun. (I'm only up to 81% usage after adding these two, even.)
* Tried to make the custom minions relatively easy since the player might be a solo lowbie and it IS an AV fight already. Let me know if anyone finds them excessive.
* Intent of this change is to highlight the big bad guy's obsession with the Teen Phalanx team, and hopefully make the final fight a little more dramatic and fun.
@PW - Police Woman (50 AR/dev blaster on Liberty)
TALOS - PW war journal - alternate contact tree using MA story arcs
=VICE= "Give me Liberty, or give me debt!"
[ QUOTE ]
Like the All-American and Slugger, the Junior Dynamo.
[/ QUOTE ]
I caught that. ^_^d
Changes:
* Mission 2 extensively revamped.
* Clockwork King has a new plot: to set up the "World of Clockwork" virtual reality game, in direct competition with Architect Entertainment. This wouldn't be so bad except that he is kidnapping people and forcing them to beta test.
* Intent of this change is to address player feedback that mission 2 is too similar to existing Clockwork content.
* Added two new Clockwork models to support this change.
* Added a kidnapped beta tester hostage.
* Revised Coyote's briefing and Citadel XP's analysis to match.
* Added a glowy ("advertising poster") as an optional clue.
* First boss in mission 3 given a name ("C4TS") in response to player feedback.
* Objectives in mission 4 reordered to make it more likely that you will rescue Manticora before you fight the Big Bad Guy.
* Gave spiffy LED auras to robotic teens in mission 4.
The cumulative effect of the changes has added considerable content to the story arc; if you tried playing it early on, you might try giving it another run; there's LOTS of fun new stuff.
Thanks to everyone who has tried playing through Teen Phalanx Forever!, and thanks especially for all the wonderful feedback!
@PW - Police Woman (50 AR/dev blaster on Liberty)
TALOS - PW war journal - alternate contact tree using MA story arcs
=VICE= "Give me Liberty, or give me debt!"
Changes made as a result of player feedback:
* Nerfed Back Alley Boy from Extreme Superstrength to Standard Superstrength. This drops Rage from his powerset, reducing his DPS so he isn't quite as overpowering.
* Reshuffled spawns in mission 3 so that it is less likely the final AV will spawn directly on your head; the penultimate encounter is now "Back" while the final one is "Front".
@PW - Police Woman (50 AR/dev blaster on Liberty)
TALOS - PW war journal - alternate contact tree using MA story arcs
=VICE= "Give me Liberty, or give me debt!"
i just played this arc with my 42 DB/Fire Scrapper. I had a few nitpicks here and there, but nothing major.
Chapter 1: Typically, if the last thing the contact says is a question, the mission accept link is a response to that question.
So, if the contact says "You game?", I would expect the accept link to be something like "I'm game! Lets do it!"
- Text Change: "You're a little nervous; ...." I'd make this a sentence.
- Clue: "It's not clear what happens to them after that." - I'd change "happens" to "happened".
Mission 2: Seemed like a repeat of mission 1. Free the hostages, meet up with the other teens, beat the bad guy.
Nice humor, with the rpg flavored text coming from the clockwork.
- I was playing a female toon, Spartaca. Spartaca Jr. just doesn't sound right. You can't assume a male toon is playing the arc.
The mission where I was doing "monitor duty" was just odd. I was going back and forth picking up team members who spawned at random places on the map.
The arc seemed a bit disjointed - there didn't seem to be a clear flow to the story.
Other than what I noted above, the text was clean and well written. Well done custom mobs. I was so busy fighting the EB at the end that I missed out on the robotic teen mobs.
Entertaining arc - I gave it four stars.
131430 Starfare: First Contact
178774 Tales of Croatoa: A Rose By Any Other Name ( 2009 MA Best In-Canon Arc ) ( 2009 Player Awards - Best Serious Arc )
What People Are Saying about Teen Phalanx Forever!
Mentioned in first message of Tahlana's AE Story Arc Recommendations: "A fun adventure comic book style!"
Lazarus's review: "a fun romp for a lowbie character...The dialog is pretty good as well and full of fun jokes and references."
Venture's review: "a cute arc that handles its motif well...a good comedy, recommended"
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] 2009-05-04 02: 00:51 Message From @S'tera : Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: You're a computer geek, aren't you? 
[/ QUOTE ]
Guilty as charged.
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] 2009-05-04 15: 05:26 Message From @Dragon King : Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: could not finish the last mission due to being a defender and to low level but plan on revisiting this wonderful arc once a little bit higher in level.
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] @Amberlynn: Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: Send a comment to the author (optional Loved it was alot of fun, nice work!
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] @drfantasy: Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: Real cool. Love the whole idea. Honestly one of my favorites 5 stars. Love to see this as a dev's choice. Altho I would edit the back door boy comment lol. If u get a chance try one of mine its short arc#2517.
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] @Kalkin: Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: totally awesome!!!! - great dialog and you have to love Citadel Vista
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] @Kurrent: Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: That was a terrific arc! Well-written, funny, challenging and very smooth to play. 5 Stars!
[LBx]Kurrent: ok, PW's teen phalanx arc is awesome
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] @Spineshank: Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: That was actually a pretty awesome Arc. Well done!
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] @muddlewait: Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: Best AE arc ever.
[Tell] @muddlewait: Certainly the best solo arc ever.
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] @Veras Q: Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: The first two missions were a pain because it forced me to play at 19 even when the missions were for 20. The third mission was very fun and creative. However, all that for a Microsoft joke? Really?
[/ QUOTE ]
I'm guessing this is difficulty setting. The first two missions are level 20, but if you are on Rugged/Unyielding, I think it will exemp you down to 19.
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] 2009-05-07 02: 53:23 Message From @madrain : Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: Maybe a few less heroes in mission 1, hard to even gain xp solo. Meet less in that and meet rest in mission 2 maybe? Didn't get to finish, was tired of doing missions for no xp and having mary sues rob me of influence. Interesting though!
[Tell] 2009-05-08 03: 33:50 Message From @Fireflyte : Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: I enjoyed the story, and the arc was fun... My only issue was the amount of kill stealing the pets did was getting quite frustrating...
[/ QUOTE ]
The teen allies being too powerful and/or kill stealing for exp is the most common complaint I get currently. Having the teen allies is pretty central to the concept of the story, though, so I don't have a good answer for this. I dialed down Back Alley Boy's powerset a bit to be less damaging. I'm hesitant to nerf them too much, though, for fear of making the arc too hard for some players to solo.
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] 2009-05-09 00: 43:29 Message From @PhiladelphiaPA : Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: love this arc good stuff
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] @AegisWolf: Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: Nice story (but I don't think Bill Gates or Steve Ballmer will appreciate it ), however I don't understand the meaning of the time limit in 3rd mission. If you want you can do one (or all) of my arcs (ID 13639, 69759 & 125110).
[/ QUOTE ]
The 2 hour time limit is actually meaningless, it's purely meant to scare the player into thinking she will actually have to sit in front of the stupid computer monitor for 2 hours.
[ QUOTE ]
[MA Arc Finder]Metal Justice: how did these teen phalanx get beer
[MA Arc Finder]Justice Blues: Manticore bought it for them?
[MA Arc Finder]Metal Justice: heh he seems the type that would
[MA Arc Finder]AegisWolf: maybe Cora has a fake ID card and always say "what's wrong if I'm short?"
[MA Arc Finder]Metal Justice: lol
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] @Metal Justice: Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: Best arc I have played since I returned to the game. Should be Developer's Choice if it's not already
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] @Aracade: Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: I promised myself I would never do this over the comments thing. Not to mention you are already going to review something I'm nervie about... Maybe I shouldn't write comments without a word processer @_@... anyway I very much enjoyed this arc. It' sa nice story you put together... It also makes me want to stop going into these things with lethal using characters... That rules out 75percent of my characters though >_< Anyway... Ya write good stuff. All I can say is hope you make the hall of fame.
[Tell] @Aracade: It's like I said, ya do good work... I just need to make a character that doesn't do lethal or smashign damage because fighting robots is a pain when that's all you can do @_@
[/ QUOTE ]
I just used the canonical low level enemies, but yeah, Clockwork, Freaks and Rogue Robots all have lethal resistance by default. I sympathize; my main character and many of my alts are lethal-users. Vahz might actually be vulnerable to lethal, though; I forget. Recently I've added a number of custom Vahz, Clocks and Rogue Robots; none of them have any special resistance. Hope that may help a little with lethal resistance issues.
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] @OnyxNine: Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: Nicely done, had a lot of funs.
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] 2009-05-11 11: 23:21 Message From @SinnerSaint : Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: A fun idea and arc to play, 5 stars. Please check mine out, keep in mind they are very challenging. Man's Insanity: the begining #93644 and Savethe CoH Podcast # 103442
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] 2009-05-11 17: 34:42 Message From @Johnny Courageous : Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: Extremely creative, especially the "monitor duty" mission. Great dialog, great fun, a real winner!
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] 2009-05-16 13: 24:18 Message From @Aracade : Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: Would you hold it against me if I told you Kid Valkyrie is kind of cute. Darn future Kid Aracade better make some attempt or I will be so disappointed in him.
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] @BattleStar: Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: Good story, good dialogue. Nice characters, Monitor Duty is a good unique mission, well thought out. Good job.
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] 2009-05-17 23: 50:18 Message From @Zubenelgenubi : Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: I'm in the first mission of your arc. I like what I see so far. Manticora is hilarious.
[Tell] 2009-05-18 00: 02:54 Message From @Zubenelgenubi : very nice character design on the Teen Phalanx
[Tell] 2009-05-18 00: 05:11 Message From @Zubenelgenubi : VERY nice detail, having the clockwork say "I hate Zubenelgenubi" like that. Nice reference to the real dev-created story arc.
[Tell] @Zubenelgenubi: LOL "meddling kids!"
[Tell] 2009-05-18 00: 23:07 Message From @Zubenelgenubi : what a great 3rd mission! Snooping into lockers! Sooo appropriate!
[Tell] 2009-05-18 00: 40:56 Message From @Zubenelgenubi : dude... just, dude... truly awesome story. Great idea, expertly executed, with good use of humor and creative use of glowies, spawns, etc. 5 stars for joo! And if this doesn't make Dev's Choice, then there is no hope for ANY of us.
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[MA Arc Finder]Zubenelgenubi: OK, this is *NOT* my arc, but you all MUST GO PLAY IT! Teen Phalanx Forever! 67335. It's so full of awesomesauce...
[MA Arc Finder]Zubenelgenubi: I just finished it. seriously, it's awesome
[MA Arc Finder]PhiladelphiaPA: yeah it's really cool arc
[MA Arc Finder]TheCheeseman: Could a level 12 stalker solo it?
[MA Arc Finder]Zubenelgenubi: hmmm... not sure... there's some serious ambushes in mission 3...
[MA Arc Finder]PhiladelphiaPA: lots of EBs
[MA Arc Finder]PhiladelphiaPA: but help too
[MA Arc Finder]Zubenelgenubi: but you get to paw through Manticora's dirty undies...
[MA Arc Finder]Zubenelgenubi: (daughter of manticore and sister Psyche)
[MA Arc Finder]Zubenelgenubi: alas, the souvenir is a communicator. You don't get to keep the undies.
[MA Arc Finder]PhiladelphiaPA: thats sick dude
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] @Tahlana: Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: Fun arc, funny ending Good story and great mission design (loved the one "monitoring" the base!)
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] @Lazorman: Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: Never really been a fan of the teen-hero genre, but wow you nailed it... cheese and all! This was a great 'team' set of missions as well, and nice speculations as to what the 'next generation' might be. Mission 3 was especially inspired, never seen a mission like that. And I joked when we started, "Citadel XP? So is the villian gonna be Citadel Vista." Lol! Nice!
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] 2009-05-23 14: 43:22 Message From @Cassiopea : Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: u cant fit the hum...states boy thing in there...if u folow his story he didint get his powers before the age of 60. hes actyualy 100 years old. so is ritchard.(recluse his old bud) bu tother that that this was fun.
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] 2009-05-24 10: 39:49 Message From @Mithas : Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: Great task for low levels
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] 2009-05-25 08: 16:37 Message From @Sumerian : Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: Well done! This arc is inventive and fun. Nicely done missions, attention to detail, and a solid story. Teen version customs were great except there was a lack of support sets. Try my new arc #187269.
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] 2009-05-26 19: 01:17 Message From @Venture : Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: 5 stars, posting a review shortly.
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] 2009-05-27 01: 39:22 Message From @Mr Squid : Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: I played through this arc once before, but that was before I posted my arc the lost choir in your review thread. I still think this is a fantastic arc. I am amazed at how...well...human all the dialogue is. In only four missions you managed to not only create unique characters, but give them a bit of growth as well. These all feel like people I would actually meet in real life. I did find the villain a bit weak, but the character interactions made up for it.
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] @Death Evan: Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: Aha, this arc was fun. Great work.
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] @Evilstan: Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: Like the concept, but XP suffers with all those assistants!
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] @Rowdy Watchdog: Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: great story line
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] @Black. Arrow: Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: Thanks for concentrating on a great story! What fun! (If you'd care to play my own story-based arc, it's ID# 196108)
[Tell] -->@Black. Arrow: thank you! I'm glad you liked it!
[Tell] @Black. Arrow: Loved it, actually. Great concept and wonderful execution. I loved what you did with the clues.
[Tell] @Black. Arrow: I'm going to recommend it to others.
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] @Dalek 1313: Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: nicly done....Bride of Vasilok
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] @Wyst: Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: the monitor base bit was just awsome thou almost killed me
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] @Most Definitely Skary: Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: Maybe the description should say "To your sidekick"? Also, Manticoar in mish 1 uses Winterborn Jr. for some reason.. The poster is awesome. Hell. Whole arc is awesome. Have 25 tickets and a warm spot on my SG's list.
[Tell] @Most Definitely Skary: Also, love the poster in #2. That's -exactly- what the King would do.
[Tell] -->@Most Definitely Skary: Haha, thanks! I had a good time making that poster, I thought it was perfect for Clockwork King
[Tell] @Most Definitely Skary: I had to pause on account of laughing too hard
[Tell] @Most Definitely Skary: 'She's going to look like the love of my life! ...in a bikini! ...with bigger boobs!' ))
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] @mr law: Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: great fun
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] 2009-05-29 04: 28:11 Message From @LaserJesus : Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: Fun story, but the allies are too powerful, even for fighting AVs. I hit clockwork king maybe twice before the allies took him out.
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[Tell] 2009-06-03 10: 41:13 Message From @'Rope : Feedback on Architect Mission Teen Phalanx Forever!: A work of twisted comedic genius. Bravo.
[/ QUOTE ]
@PW - Police Woman (50 AR/dev blaster on Liberty)
TALOS - PW war journal - alternate contact tree using MA story arcs
=VICE= "Give me Liberty, or give me debt!"
This arc is basically my love letter to teen superhero team books.
Arc Name: Teen Phalanx Forever!
Arc ID: 67335
Faction: Vahzilok, Clockwork, Freakshow, Rogue Robots
Creator Global/Forum Name: @PW / PoliceWoman
Difficulty Level: Moderate; there is one (fairly easy, non-customized) AV/EB per mission, but allies are present to help.
Synopsis: The Teen Phalanx is on a recruitment drive, and they've extended an invitation to a teen version of your hero to try out! Do you have what it takes to join Paragon City's most prestigious teen superhero team?
Morality: Heroic
Estimated Time to Play: 4 missions, estimate 60-90 mins.
Level range: 15-20, 20, 20-25, 29-30 (mission levels gradually increase to "level" you up)
@PW - Police Woman (50 AR/dev blaster on Liberty)
TALOS - PW war journal - alternate contact tree using MA story arcs
=VICE= "Give me Liberty, or give me debt!"