I've read through this stiff briefly... fascinating stuff. However, I'm terribly, terribly bothered by one thing:
"Longbow" is one word. And given how much you used it (Especially in "Fergusson's Lament" and "Project Psi"), it.. i dunno, kept pulling me out and made the work hard to read, especially with the massive amounts of other typos and mis-spellings.
My advice? Type your stories in MS Word with "grammar" check on, and look out for the squiggly green lines. It'll tell you when something isn't "quit" right (That should have an e at the end, but since "quit" is still a word, no spell check on Earth will pick it up.. you actually made this error in the Torroes Prime entry)
I hope this doesn't come across as rude.. your story ideas are really good, but the grammar is kicking me in the face, so you should be a little more careful with it =)
GJ otherwise =)
-STEELE =)
Allied to all sides so that no matter what, I'll come out on top!
Oh, and Crimson demands you play this arc-> Twisted Knives (MA Arc #397769)
I think its a good premise and your first issue was good. There are a couple of small problems but your story is great. I am willing to helpout, give advice and stuff as much as i can but I, Myself, am putting on several projects, including my own comic which I hope you could check out so you know I have some cred to back it up before I critique your work.
I'd love to go over your strenghts and some weakness' Ive seen and help you get this thing rolling and great. 
Send me a private message or something. I can also meet you ingame on your server or possibly you can join me on my ventrilo server.
Need help making your own CoH comics or read other's comics at cohcomicindex.com
www.jkcomics.com for Justice-Knights comics series and more!
Storylines:
Introductions, Obey,
[ QUOTE ]
I hope this doesn't come across as rude.. your story ideas are really good, but the grammar is kicking me in the face, so you should be a little more careful with it =)
GJ otherwise =)
[/ QUOTE ] Well it is rude! nah! Im just messing. I asked for the feed back, if I can't handle it I shouldn't ask for it. Yeah, grammar is a huge weakness for me, and spelling for that matter. Plus I think the dictionary my copy of Word uses is Bad or something. I've had several issues with it in recent weeks (God I hope I don't need to reformat my system again). Don't suppose you'd be interested in signing on as an editor, would ya?
I've got a few critiques. First, some praise: you've got the good bones of a story, here.
My main take is that you need to focus on your spelling and grammar. Constant misspellings really do hinder reading enjoyment. Typos happen, but that's where careful proofreading comes into play. Writing isn't work -- rewriting is work. That includes proofing and editing.
The background information, while important to your tale, isn't all that interesting to me. I'd much rather see that information doled out through your comic story than have to read a wall of text.
Stylistically, there are some things I'd lose, such as the boxes directing people to read things that are simple restatements of what you just said. An example would be, "That was my com... father, Torroes Prime [See: Torroes Prime]. See, we had just beaten the Project Psi team [See: Project Psi]..." After a while it becomes humorous and slightly annoying, since there aren't any hyperlinks, and anyone who wants to read the further background of your tale is going to naturally seek out the other broadsheets.
Also, don't repeat things like "That was my com... father." Do it once to get the point across. (Although in this case, I'm not sure what the point was. Were you going for "Commander?" If it's a twist that his commander was his father, then make it a twist. Do something like showing Octavian standing up to Torroes and Torroes letting him get away with it, when no one else gets that privilege. Reveal later it's because they are father and son.)
I'm not crazy about the Project Psi story, to be honest. It reads like an imitation of River Tam from Firefly.
The paragraph you have in your OP lays out an interesting premise. What you need to do is find a cool and compelling way to present that story. Show bitter enemies fighting. Then show a threat to both of them. Then have them reluctantly team up. Then have one betray the other. (Given your premise, make it the hero, but you must give him a reason other than "I'm a hero.") Have that betrayal endanger the world. Then solve that problem without resorting to a deus ex machina.
Difficult? Hell yeah. But if you can tell that story, one about people being forced to compromise their morals for the greater good, while making it cool, you'll have achieved something ineffably cool.
The Alt Alphabet ~ OPC: Other People's Characters ~ Terrific Screenshots of Cool ~ Superhero Fiction
Thanks for the praise, it's always welcome. But couple questions. More points of clearification for myself really.
[ QUOTE ]
The paragraph you have in your OP lays out an interesting premise
[/ QUOTE ]
in my what?
[ QUOTE ]
I'm not crazy about the Project Psi story, to be honest. It reads like an imitation of River Tam from Firefly.
[/ QUOTE ] no idea what you're talking about here. I mean, I know you're comparing the Project Psi back story to something from Firefly (outside of knowing that Firefly is a TV show I know nothing about it). But beyond that, I got nothing.
[ QUOTE ]
Difficult? Hell yeah.
[/ QUOTE ] if it wasn't difficult, I probably wouldn't try to do it.
[ QUOTE ]
But if you can tell that story, one about people being forced to compromise their morals for the greater good, while making it cool, you'll have achieved something ineffably cool.
[/ QUOTE ]
Maybe I will need to elaborate some, but that's exactly what has already happened story wise. Fergusson has compromised his values when he allowed Longbow to use a child in their expiraments. Torroes was then forced to kill the child. Hence the "Monster of your creation" line from Torroes.
The key point in the Project Psi wasn't the project, or the team. It was the fact that Longbow used a child as a weapon of sorts. I'm not actually sure how to put this into the comic, outside of just stating (which sounds rather bland to me), but the fact that Torroes was forced to kill a child literally broke him. he doesn't hate Longbow, or even Fergusson. He loaths himself for what Fergusson's mistake forced him to do. If you've got a thought on how to display that a comic, without just straight up stating it (and with in the limits of what the Game Engin will render) please drop me a line.
[ QUOTE ]
Stylistically, there are some things I'd lose, such as the boxes directing people to read things that are simple restatements of what you just said. An example would be, "That was my com... father, Torroes Prime [See: Torroes Prime]. See, we had just beaten the Project Psi team [See: Project Psi]..." After a while it becomes humorous and slightly annoying, since there aren't any hyperlinks, and anyone who wants to read the further background of your tale is going to naturally seek out the other broadsheets.
[/ QUOTE ]
Fair point. To be honest, the characters and event entries were meant more as a means for myself to keep stuff straight, but somewhere along the line they just kinda took on a life of their own. So end result of trying to make something into something it wasn't meant to be I guess.
[ QUOTE ]
The paragraph you have in your OP lays out an interesting premise. What you need to do is find a cool and compelling way to present that story. Show bitter enemies fighting. Then show a threat to both of them. Then have them reluctantly team up. Then have one betray the other. (Given your premise, make it the hero, but you must give him a reason other than "I'm a hero.") Have that betrayal endanger the world. Then solve that problem without resorting to a deus ex machina.
[/ QUOTE ]
1) I want to avoid the entire moniker of 'hero' and 'villian'. I know, it's kinda nit-picky thing but I hate using those titles. They automatically paint one as good and one as bad. So if ya don't mind, can you use like character names or generalites or something, Like persan A and Person B maybe?
2) as for the Hero betrayal and all that, hehehe well lets just say that's already in the story. I just haven't made enough of the comic to display it.
2 things ill put here so others can see to. Take it or leave it but ive seen most comic book makers on here do it.
1. the word bubbles. For you the tails are too long and kind of take over the frame. Do not forget that every aspect of a comic book is art, I.E. -
The artworks/screen shots, the story, the dialogue, the frame layout and even...
the placement, shape and whatnot of the word bubbles is art in itself. It is all of these things wrapped together and MORE, that make a comic into a work of art.
for you more than the placement of the bubbles is simply the tail of it. Try and tone that back more.
2. The screen shots themselves.
For instance if you want a close up of the guys face. Most will zoom in just enough... try bringing it in more to cut off the top of his head or chin. Look at modern day cinematogrphy for this.
Also avoid pulling to far out.
Since we are so used to ingame views, when people put the shots into comics, we tend to have it pulled out too far.
Yes the background and everything is beautiful but we lose the main character or action and whats going on if its out too far. I keep seeing this mistake done more than any other in fan made comic books and it sucks cuz so many of great writing and put so much time into it.
You dont have the second one that bad, i just wanted to list it so you are mindfull of it, cuz everyone falls pray to this when you want a jumping shot or something. But yeah... my main advice, pull back the word tails.
Need help making your own CoH comics or read other's comics at cohcomicindex.com
www.jkcomics.com for Justice-Knights comics series and more!
Storylines:
Introductions, Obey,
okay, so shorter tails. Basically have the tail pointing to the character, not necessarily going to the characters mouth? is that basically what that translates to?
Now you said I didn't have has bad a problem with the zooms, which would imply that most of the frames had a good composure, but there were a couple that didn't. Am I right about that? and if so can you point to a specific frame(s) so I can see what you're referring to when you reference it?
Yes, that is correct about the tails. They dont need to be right at there mouth but pointed towards it, yes.
Play with it for awhile. Do what i did and go through other comics. I went through hundreds of comics, i went through every CoX fan made comic book I could find.
There is a hero there is a writer for writing, a artist for doing art... and a specialist in everything else, even inking and bubbling. Its all an art onto itself and its something most people dont realize or at least very few in the CoX fan comic community.
The zooms /framing I will take a second look at but it will be later.
A 3rd thing I could say about fan made comic books... a problem I see and its not always a problem if you are actually going for that is rememeber this is comic books. You are storytelling through visuals. I've read many cox comic books that had some cool shots but had HUGE ammounts of text and discriptions. I good example of this problem is in a recent comic that was featured in the City Scoop. It was like a few issues back but described stuff at many parts that shouldnt be described if it was a comic book.
At these points it read like a normal piece of fan fiction with lots of pictures. This happened very early and too many times and eventually pulled my interest away from the comic. It had a few others problems but was still really good, especially once you got going but those things at the beginning... well if I wasnt so keen on reading through almost every cox fan comic book i can get my hands on... i would probably have put it down by the 8th page.
The best thing to simply do is go by example. Look for as many comics as you can. Learn from them from how they place word bubbles to how they frame each page and how many frames per page.
Go even farther and compare them to several fan made comics books.
A good spot to find fan made cox comics is at www.cohcomics.com .
It has many comics, some not so good and some really great.
I'll let you know later about framing.
-Sin
Need help making your own CoH comics or read other's comics at cohcomicindex.com
www.jkcomics.com for Justice-Knights comics series and more!
Storylines:
Introductions, Obey,
[ QUOTE ]
Thanks for the praise, it's always welcome. But couple questions. More points of clearification for myself really.
[ QUOTE ]
The paragraph you have in your OP lays out an interesting premise
[/ QUOTE ]
in my what?
[/ QUOTE ]
OP = Original Post. When referring to a person, it means Original Poster.
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I'm not crazy about the Project Psi story, to be honest. It reads like an imitation of River Tam from Firefly.
[/ QUOTE ] no idea what you're talking about here. I mean, I know you're comparing the Project Psi back story to something from Firefly (outside of knowing that Firefly is a TV show I know nothing about it). But beyond that, I got nothing.
[/ QUOTE ]
You might want to rectify that. There are a lot of Firefly/Serenity fans here, and Joss Whedon fans in general. Even if you've accidentally stumbled onto the same story, getting compared to one of the best writers working in Hollywood today is going to make anyone look pale by comparison.
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
But if you can tell that story, one about people being forced to compromise their morals for the greater good, while making it cool, you'll have achieved something ineffably cool.
[/ QUOTE ]
Maybe I will need to elaborate some, but that's exactly what has already happened story wise. Fergusson has compromised his values when he allowed Longbow to use a child in their expiraments. Torroes was then forced to kill the child. Hence the "Monster of your creation" line from Torroes.
The key point in the Project Psi wasn't the project, or the team. It was the fact that Longbow used a child as a weapon of sorts. I'm not actually sure how to put this into the comic, outside of just stating (which sounds rather bland to me), but the fact that Torroes was forced to kill a child literally broke him. he doesn't hate Longbow, or even Fergusson. He loaths himself for what Fergusson's mistake forced him to do. If you've got a thought on how to display that a comic, without just straight up stating it (and with in the limits of what the Game Engin will render) please drop me a line.
[/ QUOTE ]
If Torroes is broken, you should really break him. Make him morose, perhaps a drunk to dull the pain. Maybe someone needs him and his special skills, but he turns them down. "I can't do that, not since -. Find someone else."
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
The paragraph you have in your OP lays out an interesting premise. What you need to do is find a cool and compelling way to present that story. Show bitter enemies fighting. Then show a threat to both of them. Then have them reluctantly team up. Then have one betray the other. (Given your premise, make it the hero, but you must give him a reason other than "I'm a hero.") Have that betrayal endanger the world. Then solve that problem without resorting to a deus ex machina.
[/ QUOTE ]
1) I want to avoid the entire moniker of 'hero' and 'villian'. I know, it's kinda nit-picky thing but I hate using those titles. They automatically paint one as good and one as bad. So if ya don't mind, can you use like character names or generalites or something, Like persan A and Person B maybe?
2) as for the Hero betrayal and all that, hehehe well lets just say that's already in the story. I just haven't made enough of the comic to display it.
[/ QUOTE ]
One thing that I've always found helpful is to lay everything out in an outline beforehand. It helps focus you, so you can get to the point.
Probably you already know this, but there's a good piece of advice variously attributed to any number of famous authors: "Kill your darlings."
Meaning, don't fall in love with your own verbiage or your characters. Avoid being precious with them. When you find yourself in love with a particular passage, cut it out. If your story can't stand without it, then cut it down to the bare minimum. As much as we like our own characters, no one else is going to read 60 pages of dialogue. Get to the point, being as economical as possible.
The Alt Alphabet ~ OPC: Other People's Characters ~ Terrific Screenshots of Cool ~ Superhero Fiction
Also, I think you have a good visual sense already. You've put in some shots that are non-standard, which is good. I'd encourage you to do that more.
The Alt Alphabet ~ OPC: Other People's Characters ~ Terrific Screenshots of Cool ~ Superhero Fiction
Okay, the framing and stuff isnt that bad at all. There are a couple of frames that you are almost too far away. Also a couple of frames that you could be zooming in more of. I'll list em here:
Page 3 Frame 1 (p3f1): This could be zoomed in alot more. Its a good action scene but zooming in can spice it up a bit. You never have to show everything cuz the imagination of the read will fill in the gaps.
Remember at this point it isnt a video game. Dont have a players perspective but an artists so dont show EVERYTHING or from far away unless its needed for the story itself. This isnt needed for the story. For more action framing tips look at other mainstream comics and movies on how they frame when the guy just throws a punch to the entire fight scene.
P4 : While frame 1 isnt that bad, frames 2 and 3 could use a closer view. This is one of the good examples of the framing.
P5: This page looks great. Nothing really wrong here cept for the bubble tails. You did a good job with having a different frame and zoom in. Since you are going back and forth, changing up the shots just a little tiny bit, the way the head is tilt and how much you are zoomed in from frame to frame will make the difference and you did that. Just remember that you did that! 
It seems like a suttle dif but its a big one of the human subconscious and the way the reader will take in information.
P6 F1 amd f2: Both are good pictures but I would prefer to see one of them closer than the other. Both camera angles are great though and the F2 shot is really nice.
The rest of the pages and frames you could have played around with. Zoomed in more and had slightly changing angles. It does get visually dulling near the end.
That last frame on the last page through is really good. I wouldnt change that at all but most of the frames before it I would have closened on at least half.
Hope that helps and gives you examples and spacifics to look out and play around with.
By the way, have you checked out my comic yet? Its in the screen shots and Fan Art section titled "Justice-Knights City of Fan made comic book"
Let me know what you think. 
Need help making your own CoH comics or read other's comics at cohcomicindex.com
www.jkcomics.com for Justice-Knights comics series and more!
Storylines:
Introductions, Obey,
[ QUOTE ]
If Torroes is broken, you should really break him. Make him morose, perhaps a drunk to dull the pain. Maybe someone needs him and his special skills, but he turns them down. "I can't do that, not since -. Find someone else."
[/ QUOTE ]
Hmm, that point actually a direct conflict with Torroes' character. he's always forced himself to be pro-active, even to the point of being self-destructive. So, he wouldn't shy away from a fight or operation of any sort. Quit the opposite, he would practically volunteer.
Actually, opinion question: How would you read those kind of actions? Always heading into the fiercest fights, the hardest missions, taking on the strongest of the enemy availible at the time. How would that read in terms of being broken ?
BTW: How many quote of quote responses do you think we can get in this topic, Ironik?
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
If Torroes is broken, you should really break him. Make him morose, perhaps a drunk to dull the pain. Maybe someone needs him and his special skills, but he turns them down. "I can't do that, not since -. Find someone else."
[/ QUOTE ]
Hmm, that point actually a direct conflict with Torroes' character. he's always forced himself to be pro-active, even to the point of being self-destructive. So, he wouldn't shy away from a fight or operation of any sort. Quit the opposite, he would practically volunteer.
Actually, opinion question: How would you read those kind of actions? Always heading into the fiercest fights, the hardest missions, taking on the strongest of the enemy availible at the time. How would that read in terms of being broken ?
BTW: How many quote of quote responses do you think we can get in this topic, Ironik?
[/ QUOTE ]
I dont know... want to try? lol 
Need help making your own CoH comics or read other's comics at cohcomicindex.com
www.jkcomics.com for Justice-Knights comics series and more!
Storylines:
Introductions, Obey,
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
If Torroes is broken, you should really break him. Make him morose, perhaps a drunk to dull the pain. Maybe someone needs him and his special skills, but he turns them down. "I can't do that, not since -. Find someone else."
[/ QUOTE ]
Hmm, that point actually a direct conflict with Torroes' character. he's always forced himself to be pro-active, even to the point of being self-destructive. So, he wouldn't shy away from a fight or operation of any sort. Quit the opposite, he would practically volunteer.
Actually, opinion question: How would you read those kind of actions? Always heading into the fiercest fights, the hardest missions, taking on the strongest of the enemy availible at the time. How would that read in terms of being broken ?
[/ QUOTE ]
That works, too. Depressed to the point of taking nearly suicidal risks. Although you have to kind of steer clear of comparisons to Riggs from Lethal Weapon, since that was his MO, too.
[ QUOTE ]
BTW: How many quote of quote responses do you think we can get in this topic, Ironik?
[/ QUOTE ]
Eleventy billion.
The Alt Alphabet ~ OPC: Other People's Characters ~ Terrific Screenshots of Cool ~ Superhero Fiction
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
If Torroes is broken, you should really break him. Make him morose, perhaps a drunk to dull the pain. Maybe someone needs him and his special skills, but he turns them down. "I can't do that, not since -. Find someone else."
[/ QUOTE ]
Hmm, that point actually a direct conflict with Torroes' character. he's always forced himself to be pro-active, even to the point of being self-destructive. So, he wouldn't shy away from a fight or operation of any sort. Quit the opposite, he would practically volunteer.
Actually, opinion question: How would you read those kind of actions? Always heading into the fiercest fights, the hardest missions, taking on the strongest of the enemy availible at the time. How would that read in terms of being broken ?
[/ QUOTE ]
That works, too. Depressed to the point of taking nearly suicidal risks. Although you have to kind of steer clear of comparisons to Riggs from Lethal Weapon, since that was his MO, too.
[ QUOTE ]
BTW: How many quote of quote responses do you think we can get in this topic, Ironik?
[/ QUOTE ]
Eleventy billion.
[/ QUOTE ]
That doesnt sound like a real number...
I mean who ever heard of billion anyway?
Need help making your own CoH comics or read other's comics at cohcomicindex.com
www.jkcomics.com for Justice-Knights comics series and more!
Storylines:
Introductions, Obey,
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
If Torroes is broken, you should really break him. Make him morose, perhaps a drunk to dull the pain. Maybe someone needs him and his special skills, but he turns them down. "I can't do that, not since -. Find someone else."
[/ QUOTE ]
Hmm, that point actually a direct conflict with Torroes' character. he's always forced himself to be pro-active, even to the point of being self-destructive. So, he wouldn't shy away from a fight or operation of any sort. Quit the opposite, he would practically volunteer.
Actually, opinion question: How would you read those kind of actions? Always heading into the fiercest fights, the hardest missions, taking on the strongest of the enemy availible at the time. How would that read in terms of being broken ?
[/ QUOTE ]
That works, too. Depressed to the point of taking nearly suicidal risks. Although you have to kind of steer clear of comparisons to Riggs from Lethal Weapon, since that was his MO, too.
[ QUOTE ]
BTW: How many quote of quote responses do you think we can get in this topic, Ironik?
[/ QUOTE ]
Eleventy billion.
[/ QUOTE ]
That doesnt sound like a real number...
I mean who ever heard of billion anyway?
[/ QUOTE ]
I guess we all have now.
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
If Torroes is broken, you should really break him. Make him morose, perhaps a drunk to dull the pain. Maybe someone needs him and his special skills, but he turns them down. "I can't do that, not since -. Find someone else."
[/ QUOTE ]
Hmm, that point actually a direct conflict with Torroes' character. he's always forced himself to be pro-active, even to the point of being self-destructive. So, he wouldn't shy away from a fight or operation of any sort. Quit the opposite, he would practically volunteer.
Actually, opinion question: How would you read those kind of actions? Always heading into the fiercest fights, the hardest missions, taking on the strongest of the enemy availible at the time. How would that read in terms of being broken ?
[/ QUOTE ]
That works, too. Depressed to the point of taking nearly suicidal risks. Although you have to kind of steer clear of comparisons to Riggs from Lethal Weapon, since that was his MO, too.
[ QUOTE ]
BTW: How many quote of quote responses do you think we can get in this topic, Ironik?
[/ QUOTE ]
Eleventy billion.
[/ QUOTE ]
That doesnt sound like a real number...
I mean who ever heard of billion anyway?
[/ QUOTE ]
I guess we all have now.
[/ QUOTE ]
I still havnt.
Need help making your own CoH comics or read other's comics at cohcomicindex.com
www.jkcomics.com for Justice-Knights comics series and more!
Storylines:
Introductions, Obey,
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
If Torroes is broken, you should really break him. Make him morose, perhaps a drunk to dull the pain. Maybe someone needs him and his special skills, but he turns them down. "I can't do that, not since -. Find someone else."
[/ QUOTE ]
Hmm, that point actually a direct conflict with Torroes' character. he's always forced himself to be pro-active, even to the point of being self-destructive. So, he wouldn't shy away from a fight or operation of any sort. Quit the opposite, he would practically volunteer.
Actually, opinion question: How would you read those kind of actions? Always heading into the fiercest fights, the hardest missions, taking on the strongest of the enemy availible at the time. How would that read in terms of being broken ?
[/ QUOTE ]
That works, too. Depressed to the point of taking nearly suicidal risks. Although you have to kind of steer clear of comparisons to Riggs from Lethal Weapon, since that was his MO, too.
[/ QUOTE ]
hmmmm, another movie I need to pull out to watch and reference.......
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
If Torroes is broken, you should really break him. Make him morose, perhaps a drunk to dull the pain. Maybe someone needs him and his special skills, but he turns them down. "I can't do that, not since -. Find someone else."
[/ QUOTE ]
Hmm, that point actually a direct conflict with Torroes' character. he's always forced himself to be pro-active, even to the point of being self-destructive. So, he wouldn't shy away from a fight or operation of any sort. Quit the opposite, he would practically volunteer.
Actually, opinion question: How would you read those kind of actions? Always heading into the fiercest fights, the hardest missions, taking on the strongest of the enemy availible at the time. How would that read in terms of being broken ?
[/ QUOTE ]
That works, too. Depressed to the point of taking nearly suicidal risks. Although you have to kind of steer clear of comparisons to Riggs from Lethal Weapon, since that was his MO, too.
[ QUOTE ]
BTW: How many quote of quote responses do you think we can get in this topic, Ironik?
[/ QUOTE ]
Eleventy billion.
[/ QUOTE ]
That doesnt sound like a real number...
I mean who ever heard of billion anyway?
[/ QUOTE ]
I guess we all have now.
[/ QUOTE ]
I still havnt.
[/ QUOTE ]
Wait wha....?
Need help making your own CoH comics or read other's comics at cohcomicindex.com
www.jkcomics.com for Justice-Knights comics series and more!
Storylines:
Introductions, Obey,
hey all, about a year ago I started work on what I hoped (and still hope) would become a fan base project involving more then just my little grouping of friends and players. Basically I started work on a comic series, dealing with the second Rikti invasion (this was before I10 dropped, or was even announced) Well, I'm still working on it and still looking for interested parties who are interested in joining in. After numerous re-names, I'm currently calling it City of Legends. As far as story goes, this is a basically a What-if kinda thing. as in, what if the Rikti Invasion was being influenced and supported by more parties then just Nemisis? what if it was a much larger invasion this time? What is there's another power working behind the scenes manipulating things to his own end? Heroes may no longer be heroes, villians may no longer villians, the innocent must now fight to survive, former enemies must work side by side to survive. That's the general premise. If you're interested in working with me on it, throw me a line and we can chat.
Now, on to the reason for this post: I've made a short 8 page (plus cover) mini-story that takes place about two years following the initial invasion. a large group of both supers and non-supers have left the rouge isles and ultimately joined up with Vanguard. While that in itself is simple enough, as I said enemies must now become friends, and old wounds are re-opened. So, I'm posting a link to the PDF (U will need Adobe Reader to read it) and asking for feed back, comments, suggestions, criticisms, whatever on it.
City of Legends: Fergusson's Lament
As a side project, I've begun work on a "Lexicon" that covers the various wars, the characters, and notable events that feed into this universe. I've post links to the entries for the relevent characters [With the exception of Pet, since her background is basically given in the story] for this comic. Be warned, the images are rather large. I would suggest Downloading them and then viewing them.
City of Legends Lexicon: Project PSI
City of Legends Lexicon: Edward Fergusson
City of Legends Lexicon: Long Bow Wars
City of Legends Lexicon: Torroes Prime
View my Deviant Art Gallery