Author's Notes: (How's that for pretension,eh?)
This story was inspired when I started wondering how feasible it would be to write a complete story with a beginning, middle, and satsifying conclusion in only one paragraph. It was an amusing challenge, one I don't have the chops for. *heh*
However, it did get me thinking about what kind of a story I could write that would be about one-page long. In the end, it came out closer to three, but I enjoyed the concept so much that I was okay with that. *heh* It's an interesting experiment with using a somewhat different method of story-telling.
I don't think it requires any special explanation, unless the reader simply knows nothing about the Rikti War Zone. In that case, the simple summary is that this is a hero and villain in the aftermath of a team-up against a Rikti installation. Which is which should be obvious. 
The dialog is really well written. I would prefer a bit more prose to bring out the subtleties of the stories and the characters, but great dialog is nothing to sneeze at.
...hmmm...continue?
<QR>
I appreciate the positive feedback. 
[ QUOTE ]
The dialog is really well written. I would prefer a bit more prose to bring out the subtleties of the stories and the characters, but great dialog is nothing to sneeze at.
[/ QUOTE ]
It's interesting trying to write a story that has no narration. That's more or less what's happening here. It's not a complete success, but it's better than I'd expected. With a bit more thought and planning (I wrote and revised this in around three hours) I can see where a unique sort of story could be developed. I'm sort of afraid that it would turn into "My Dinner With Andre" in the process, which is why I attempted a kind of staccato tempo through most of the story.
The weakness is that all of the emotional content is implied by the dialog instead of described explicitly, and the dialog is deliberately short and choppy. Maybe I'll try something similar in the future and see just how "flowery" the dialog has to become to compensate for the lack of exposition.
[ QUOTE ]
...hmmm...continue?
[/ QUOTE ]
Probably not. The last two lines are kind of the point of the story. Anything after that is anti-climax. Heck, the characters don't even have names. Maybe if they get out of their current fix, there'll be an occasion for them cross paths down the road sometime.
Writing scenes that are nothing but dialogue were always fun for me to read/write. I love seeing these pulled off flawlessly and this is one of them. Great story.
The Freedom Server Wallflower (shhh, sleepy)
Angelfish on DrunkDuck.com
Dr. Lore at HeroCon 2008
Arc 67690: Out For Blood
I just read this and was so impressed I had to comment.
That was brilliant! I did have to read it twice to get the speakers straight, (thanks for the pink and blue) regarding their alignments and better grasp of the pre-plot. But I figure that is no fault of yours.
I have to ask: Did you plan the symbolism of the statement "Its hot in here" or is it a happy coincidence? I read it as the knowledge the woman has. She has already figured out the situation and knows their roles should be reversed. The conversation is just to "Catch the guy up to speed" before one of them dies. (A conculsion that seems to me to be inevitable.) Thus the guy echoes "Its hot in here" once he fully understands the truth...
I'd appreciate any insights. again great piece.
Thanks for the kudos. I'd say you got the essence of the story pretty much right on. I planned the symbolism to the extent that I had the ending first and "backtracked" to the beginning, if you will. It's certainly not the ambient temperature that "Blue" is referring to at the end. *heh*
A Conversation In The Dark
"It's hot down here."
"You said that already. Several times."
"It bears repeating."
"Does it? I was pretty sure you got the message across the first time."
"No need to be snippy!"
"So says the woman who is NOT holding a half-ton of rubble up with her shoulders."
"It's not as if I asked you to do it."
"True. Maybe I should let it drop."
"No, now that you mention it, I rather like it where it is."
"I wouldn't be sitting here feeling 'snippy' if you hadn't decided to go nuclear on the whole cavern."
"It took care of the Rikti, didn't it?"
"It nearly took care of ME."
"An unfortunate side effect."
"So you say."
"You mistrust my intentions?"
"'Mistrust' doesn't adequately describe my feelings."
"I am wounded, Sir! Your insinuations are a knife in my heart!"
"I wasn't aware that you have a heart."
"A heart is a liability in certain occupations."
"Then, you must be happy to find yourself unhindered by the burden."
"How long until they come looking for us?"
"Who? Vanguard? My guess is, never. The Grey B-tch doesn't give a damn about her pawns. Casualties in the war zone are the reason they call it a war zone."
"It was Borea who gave you the assignment, wasn't it?"
"True. I did get the impression that she was checking me out as we left HQ. She might eventually wonder what happened to us."
"Humph! What about the members of your secret club? Did you leave a note for them in the tree fort?"
"My base communicator was fried by your EMP blast, just like my base teleporter and my Pocket D gold card."
"A gold card! You ARE quite the celebrity!"
"Comes with the territory."
"So I've heard."
"What about Recluse? Aren't you one of his favorites? Can't you get him to send some help?"
"Alas, no. If the Spider has to waste his attention and resources effecting a rescue then you are, by definition, unworthy of being rescued."
"He figures that if you're the so-called Destined One that Destiny will save you?"
"Let's say he values self-reliance."
"It seems we have no-one else to rely upon."
"Perhaps the mediporter will reach us down here."
"How do you propose we test that theory?"
"I could fry your nervous system. The mediporter would PROBABLY pull you out before you suffered permanent brain damage."
"You mean like the time I caught you escaping from the lockup in Steel Canyon? No, thanks. I like my brains the way they are."
"That WAS a work of art. You have no appreciation of the finesse required to keep all of your vital functions operating at almost normal levels, while still managing to burn out most of your higher mental function."
"I know that I was in a coma for a month."
"Yes, it was sad. My concentration wavered for only an instant and an entire half-hour's worth of artistry was completely undone."
"Would you mind stepping over here for a moment? I can give you a critical review of your artistry and test out your mediport theory at the same time."
"As it happens, this rock is rather comfortable. I believe I'll continue sitting right here."
"Suit yourself. I feel compelled to remind you that putting your theory to the test will likely result in the collapse of our little cavern here, regardless of whether I actually mediported or not."
"True. Perhaps I'll do it anyways."
"Commit suicide? Why?"
"It's my nature to be perverse. You ought to know that by now."
"I'll never understand you."
"Are you still angry?"
"No."
"Yes, you are!"
"Why do you say that?"
"You didn't ask what you should be angry about."
"Okay. So, what if I am?"
"It's a long time to carry a grudge."
"Why did you dump me for Reynolds? Two days before Prom?"
"To hurt you, of course. I saw you looking at the other girls. I needed you to realize what you were risking."
"Then, why did you leave with me that night?"
"To hurt him. He was a jerk."
"That's it?"
"What else were you expecting to hear?"
"..."
"What?"
"Reynolds. He didn't deserve to die that way."
"True. Hardly anyone ever does, though."
"Why did you take the blame for it?"
"I was courageous and I loved you. Idiot."
"If you loved me, why did you treat me so badly?"
"It's my nature to be perverse. I thought you understood that.
"..."
"Well?"
"What?"
"Why did you LET me take the blame for it?"
"... I was a coward and I hated you for breaking my heart."
"At least you're honest about it."
"Things snowballed after the police came to my house and arrested you. Everyone was calling me a hero, even though I hadn't done anything. It was like everyone who heard about it needed to believe I was heroic, and expected me to act like a hero. After a while, it was easier to go along with it than go against it."
"I'm sure the peer pressure was overwhelming."
"Sarcasm doesn't become you."
"Yet, it feels so good..."
"Why did you run to the Rogue Isles?"
"What else was I supposed to do? Rot in the Zig the rest of my life, covering for a boy who valued his own hide more than he valued me? Opportunity knocked. I answered."
"If it's any comfort, I still love you, deep down."
"Surprisingly, that's no comfort at all. I still hate you from the bottom of my soul."
"I wish..."
"Don't."
"..."
"It IS funny how things work out."
"What do you mean?"
"If you'd been heroic enough to take responsibility for your actions, it would have been me interning at D.A.T.A. on a Longbow scholarship, and you would have been in the Zig when Recluse orchestrated the big breakout."
"So, we'd be..."
"Yes."
"..."
"..."
"It's hot down here."
"I know."