Lord Recluse Speaks!


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Lord Recluse Speaks Magazine
Bringing you the best stories from the Lord Recluse Speaks radio station 95.6 FM
[u]All approved content! 100% safe text![u]

Brassy effort on Self Defence Shootings
Lord Recluse congratulated Marshall Brass today on the increase in the number of fatalities where self-defence was a factor. At a ceremony honouring Marshall Brass, Lord Recluse said “A population able to defend itself is not only stronger, but helps society through lowered policing costs. These savings can be then utilized to fund expansion of programs that have significant social benefit such as military armament and nuclear research.”
Not everyone agreed with Lord Recluse’s assessment however. Dr Jan Hergevord of the Rogue Isles Civil Liberties Union wrote in a newsletter of that organisation “Violence begets violence. The only real way to increase the safety of citizens is through an effective, corruption-free police force separate from the military”. (A censored transcript of the article, along with a video podcast of the execution of Dr Hergevord and his family is available on the [u]Lord Recluse Speaks[u] website).

PTS cancer victims demand treatment.
A group of PTS workers have claimed that their cancer is work-related and are demanding their medical expenses be recompensed by the company. Lord Recluse issued a press release sympathetic to the plight of the workers and in a stunning act of generosity, has agreed to completely fund their treatment. “The number of PTS workers that contract cancer is indeed several times the rate o f the general population. Although the study commissioned by PTS has revealed that the amount is well within normal statistical deviation and that the cancer is not workplace related, I see this as an exciting opportunity to help a group of my citizens who are in need. Effective today, I have authorised full funding of the latest in experimental medical treatment for these poor souls.”


Lord Recluse Demands higher court throughput
Lord Recluse has warned the legal fraternity that there will be staff terminations if throughput targets are not met. “Citizens accused of a crime have a right to have their charges dealt with quickly. Prolonged court cases punish the innocent and reward the guilty. The current average duration of a 1st degree murder trial is seven days... this is far too long. I have set a target that average time between arrest and verdict for all major felonies should be four days, with a maximum of six days in all cases. Any Prosecutor, Defense Attorney or Judge who causes these targets to be missed will be subject to stringent ability-to-work sanctions.”


Writers request more speech control
In a carefully worded letter to Lord Recluse, the Rogue Isles Writers Association has respectfully requested more funding for the censorship bureau. The high profile conviction of bestselling author Neil Grant last week on charges of sedition seems to be the catalyst. The Writer’s Association letter hints that a more thorough review process at the censorship bureau might have removed the offending paragraphs from his book, and spared him incarceration. A source close to Lord Recluse said that Lord Recluse read the letter “with interest” and that within a few weeks the Writer’s Association “would not have anything to worry about”.


EDITORIAL: FREE WOMEN OF THE VOTE
The change to compulsory public polling on the Isles has been a resounding success in terms of tax revenue (through fees charged to those who wish to abstain from voting) as well as social unity. However, not all citizens are winners, and in particular women can be disadvantaged. In particular young mothers can be vulnerable at an important stage of their family’s growth.
When a couple starts a family, often it is a time of financial stress – latest statistics show that even the average of three weeks maternity leave taken by most first time mothers can affect the tight family budget for over a year. If an election occurs in the same year, it can be disastrous. The big elections are not the problem, as they almost always have only one candidate. However, a local election can often have two, three, sometimes even four candidates. And in the competitive arena of local elections, it is not always obvious who the correct candidate to vote for is. Furthermore, so-called “wrong vote audits” by victorious candidates are increasing in intensity in recent years.
A young family might be able to afford one vote-abstain fee, which is sensibly spent protecting the parent with the highest income – in 87% of cases this is the father. The bulk of the risk when voting, therefore, is borne by mothers, at a time when the loss of a parent would have the greatest effect on her children.
In this magazine’s opinion, then, one possible solution is to free women from this burden by affirmative disenfranchisement. By freeing women of the vote, we can empower them by giving them a greater chance to continue to be a guiding influence on their children’s lives, training them to serve the greater glory of Lord Recluse.


 

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(A censored transcript of the article, along with a video podcast of the execution of Dr Hergevord and his family is available on the [u]Lord Recluse Speaks[u] website).


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Gold.


 

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I LOVE you!


 

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More please!


 

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Our favorite excerpt from Lord Recluse's stirring 2008 election speech:

"These are not free Isles or democratic Isles - these are the Rogue Isles. These are not safe Isles or weak Isles or just Isles or tolerant Isles - these are the Rogue Isles. And you will all bow before me."

Congratulations to Lord Recluse for winning another national election with 99.97% of the vote!

Wrong-vote audit deliberations will be televised at 7pm tonight, with execution coverage at 9pm. Readers are reminded that viewing the execution coverage is MANDATORY for all citizens over the age of twelve.


 

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Our favorite excerpt from Lord Recluse's stirring 2008 election speech:

"These are not free Isles or democratic Isles - these are the Rogue Isles. These are not safe Isles or weak Isles or just Isles or tolerant Isles - these are the Rogue Isles. And you will all bow before me."

Congratulations to Lord Recluse for winning another national election with 99.97% of the vote!

Wrong-vote audit deliberations will be televised at 7pm tonight, with execution coverage at 9pm. Readers are reminded that viewing the execution coverage is MANDATORY for all citizens over the age of twelve.


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Glad I voted for him then.