1013: I will not, under any circumstances, implore my rogue dark elven god for help, It leads to pantheons dying.
1014: If I do ask for help, when we are to become the new gods, I cannot choose "Half dark elven goddess of childbirth and lesbian pregnancies".
1015: My monk is not proficient in Asura Strike
1016: Even if she were, I cannot use it on the naive would be warrior, even if he DOES say she looks hot in the robes.
[ QUOTE ]
1014: If I do ask for help, when we are to become the new gods, I cannot choose "Half dark elven goddess of childbirth and lesbian pregnancies".
[/ QUOTE ]
Oh, we're not allowed to do that?
Cross yet ANOTHER career off my list.
>.>
What? I've always wanted to be a H.D.E.G.C.L.P.
1017: When dragons start suddenly erupting from our backsides, it's a good indicator that the GM does NOT have our best interests at heart.
1018: Incidentally, I will not cause dragons to erupt from the PCs' backsides. Those player manuals HURT!
My Stories
Look at that. A full-grown woman pulling off pigtails. Her crazy is off the charts.
1019: If I do cause dragons to erupt from the PC's backsides I will not decide a mummy king appears, because they will need the TP.
1020: When traversing through founders I will repeat "I am a Hero, hero's do not kick snipers off buildings", in my head.
1021: I am not proficient in halfling
1022: Dwarf Tossing is NOT an official sport
1023: I will remember I cannot take the paladin's breasplate and use it as a makeup mirror.
1024: When facing an agent I will not say "It Ends Tonight", it is cheesy and my team members tend to let me die.
1025: When facing any enemy group, I will take out anthing that uses electricity as a weapon FIRST.
1026: I will not use the stone tank as a way to take out the electricity weilders, they get a bit peeved.
1027: "Your face is an (Insert last word opponent used" is not a viable taunt to a dragon, becuase then they will just eat you.
1028: I am not allowed to bathe the elf in any sort of glaze sauce, or add spices, and offer him to the dragon while tied up on a pole...., Again.
1029: A rectal thermometer is NOT funny.
1030: I am not allowed to stick a magnet to the decker's head when he is on a net run.
1031: I am to remind the DM/GM that I am not allowed to have my decker's cyber image be a gothic lolita, again.
1032: A rectal thermometer is NOT funny when you are the one who has to administer it to the great wyrm.
1033: I will not give my attack drones pet names like "Wild," "Bear," "Fluffy," or "Snuggles."
My Stories
Look at that. A full-grown woman pulling off pigtails. Her crazy is off the charts.
1034: I am not allowed to name my thugs "John Woo" "Tom Cruise" "Eminem" and "Vanilla" ever again.
1035: A giant vat of Vindaloo is not something you feed a dragon. Even if you think he'll enjoy it.
1036: When something asks you if you are a god, you say.... YES!!
1037: ... Unless you happen to NOT be wearing an unlicensed neutron accelerator on your back.
1038: Thou shalt not insert memchips of "I'm a little teapot" in the decker's head while they sleep.
1039: .... or "It's a Small World After All"
1040: Face it, any Disney song, theme, tune, ditty, or jingle is right out.
1041: The rigger is driving the bus, not you. Stop acting like Elwood Blues.
1042: The spell "Summon Autobot Army" cannot be cast with the resources you have available.
1043: ... neither can "Summon Decepticon Army"
1044: It's a SEMI, dammit. Quit it with the Robert Stack impersonations.
1045: Having a MotoGP Mastery skillsoft does not allow you to ride up the sides of buildings. It only gets your knee down to the pavement in the corners.
1046: Exceptional versions of this skillsoft grant you Valentino Rossi's fan club, nothing more.
"City of Heroes. April 27, 2004 - August 31, 2012. Obliterated not with a weapon of mass destruction, not by an all-powerful supervillain... but by a cold-hearted and cowardly corporate suck-up."
780. When told I have to join the RPGA to play in a game, can't sign the membership card "D. Duck."
"I don't wonda what Rose is like in RL, I just imagine she is a catgurl an' wish I could cyb0r wit her. "
- the legendary J-man
Silence!!! I kill you!
1047: Though you may be inadvertently RPing the character anyway, slamming back two bottles of Jose Cuervo (at the same time) during gameplay is not actually RPing.
1049: Angels and Demons don't mix. Ever. Massive quantities of bloodshed will follow.
(And, while I'm remembering a fun In Nomine session...)
1050: Just because a person's worst sin is burning a bus full of nuns to the ground, doesn't mean they're actually a bad person.
(A game meant to turn the tenets of Christianity into fun for an RP community, and a small group of Marines took it to places it was never meant to go. It's bad when the demons start feeling sorry for the humans because of the actions of the Angels...)
My Stories
Look at that. A full-grown woman pulling off pigtails. Her crazy is off the charts.
1051: I am not allowed to use "Wipeout" as a legitimate attack of my decker when attacking a corporation firewall.
0152: I can also not use it for her theme song, ..or "Little Old Lady From Pasadena", or any beach boys song.
1053: I am not allowed to use the lyrics of "Sleeping Awake" as a spell chant for my mage.
1054: I am to remind the GM/DM that I am in no way, shape, or form allowed to summon cyber autobots or decepticon avatars to assist my net attacks, EVER AGAIN.
1055: When playing a blaster, I am not allowed to have "You want some she b*tch" as my battle cry.
.
1056: Nor "Suck It Down!".
1057: No I cannot have the mage use a "Transform: Chainsaw" on my broadsword scrapper's sword!
1058: "Autodownload Start: Windows 89 Version B" is not a valid net nuke....at least in the game.
1059: Two plus Two does not equal orgy or several hundred children, no matter how many times I argue with the GM/DM
1060: I, as a DM, am not allowed to use the "Rocks Falls Everybody Dies" joke
1061: I as a mage am not allowed to use it as a summon spell chant to summon giant meteors from space, ever again.
1062: I cannot have my "Ofanim" be addicted to Jolt Cola, because giving an ofanim such is like adding rocketfuel to a turbocharged car, BAD. IDEA.
1063: My Demon of music can't use cds to hypnotize humans into sleeping with her for their souls, well she could...but the game master has ruled seducing someone to "Head Shoulders Knees and Toes" is definitely out.
1064: I am not allowed to taunt with my tanker by giving the boss the finger, surely not once, definitely not twice.
1065: I am not allowed to remind the one smoker in our group (because there's always a smoker in the group) that he/she can put his/her cigarette out on the face of the guy annoying him/her (because there's always an annoying guy, and he's always a guy).
My Stories
Look at that. A full-grown woman pulling off pigtails. Her crazy is off the charts.
1066: I am not allowed to have my amazon woman put out a torch with her mouth.
1067: I am not allowed to RP the above out by using a lit cigarette and my tongue, or any phallic shaped instrument, it's not good for the guys gaming with me.
1068: There is no power called "Gouging".
1069: Headsplitter is NOT a hold.
"If I had Force powers, vacuum or not my cape/clothes/hair would always be blowing in the Dramatic Wind." - Tenzhi
Characters
1070: Divine Avalanche does not cause a mountain to fall on your foes.
1071: No you cannot roleplay it out like it does either!
1072: I don't care how many times you roll 20 in a row. You are not unlocking the LOCKLESS IMPENETRABLE DOOR!
1073: That goes the same for "Killing the Dragon in one shot," "Dodging the Deity's lightning bolt," and "Winning the beauty contest against the Nymph."
My Stories
Look at that. A full-grown woman pulling off pigtails. Her crazy is off the charts.
1074: No matter your roll you can't out fly a dragon, I don't care what you say.
1075: Having a dragon for a wife is viable.., as long as she gets to eat you.
1076: You may not attempt to have your elf seduce the dragon, unless it involves barbecue sauce.
1077: Don't poke the dragon! Don't poke the dragon! Don't poke the dragon!
1078: Having poked said dragon, I cannot point at the elf and say "She did it." (Resurrection can't really fix having my head shoved up my butt...)
1079: Resurrection doesn't work in modern real life.
My Stories
Look at that. A full-grown woman pulling off pigtails. Her crazy is off the charts.
1080: If you poke the dragon, and blame the elf, don't expect the cleric to heal you.
1081: You cannot plug your brain into a pc and hack it, in real life.
1082: if facing a group of cybernetic samurai, do not reveal your trump card to be an Electromagnetic Glove.
1083: If facing cyber ninja, don't run, you'll die tired.
[ QUOTE ]
1081: You cannot plug your brain into a pc and hack it, in real life.
[/ QUOTE ]
This one may change in the next century. They already have an interface system for quadriplegics that enables them to turn on their TVs, change the channels and raise and lower the volume. The machine is plugged into their brain, too.
There's also been advancements in "cyber-eye" technology to help blind people see and cybernetic limb replacement (Oh, I can't wait until they come out with real-life combat prosthetics; I'll cut off my own limbs just so I can have myself some Terminator arms!)
My Stories
Look at that. A full-grown woman pulling off pigtails. Her crazy is off the charts.
((Yeah, that is until they come out with a robotic head, equipped with heat-vision, night-vision, and motion sensing, and, in a state of stupidity, you cut off your head to get yourself one.
"Greetings, Unit Grey-1190918."))
((No no! I don't cut off my head, then... But get my brain tansplanted into the cybernetic body... YES! Immortality as a real Clockwork King or Nemesis! With laser eyes! But that's not the worst of it, the worst will be my Indian Burns from Hell!))
My Stories
Look at that. A full-grown woman pulling off pigtails. Her crazy is off the charts.
1012: You may not under any reasons create a giant bug only to have it turn out to be the dwarf giant bug upon defeat.