This is what happens when I get bored... (humor)
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Getting "Post already exists.
Please use your back button to return to the previous page."
Alot
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same 
from where?!?!?!?!!
Ex-Mayor of Champion
I Love all my Championites. I hope to see everyone once again.
SHOWTIME - You guys are like my family!
nope Radio got no .
The Floor.
[ QUOTE ]
You can only kill a thread resurrected by the thread necromancer if you stab it in the heart with the Sacred Sabre of Callis at the stroke of midnight on the second Tuesday of next week by the light of the pale harvest moon while reciting the Chant of Holy Transcendance in the Language of the Ancient Ones.
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But that's during Brutal Bruiseday!
No one sacrifices threads on Brutal Bruiseday. Sacrifices are reserved for a Stalker day.
Member - Pingus, & Legendaries
Angry Sysop 50 BRUTE - Angry Woodsman 50 TANK - Angry Florist 21 CONTROLLER
"Did your Phantom Army just take the Elevator? Imaginary People riding Elevators? *facepalm*
No blue radio tops the floor ne day. Sad u didn't know that.
lol
Ex-Mayor of Champion
I Love all my Championites. I hope to see everyone once again.
SHOWTIME - You guys are like my family!
hey flatfoot your original thread for the Flat and Tech series is still around
PS. thread necro for the win
WOW! Over a year since last post. That's some serious necroposting. gg, trib.
the oldest thread left on the boards i cant necro. stupid thing is locked and has been for a long time.
Whoa, did not expect this to rise from the grave. Zombie thread wants moar brainz!
Ooo! Five stars, no less.
*gets back to writing new material*
As some people saw on the BMT, I'm back in action. Sort of. When I have time.
The good news for YOU (yes YOU) is that I've got a backlog of Flat & Teck stuff saved up that I never got around to posting yet. Unfortunately, I don't remember where I left off officially, so I'll probably start from an arbitrary position in the story and post it here.
Hey Fleetless feet, hello...
didn't you also post the stories on a blog. I thought you did that as a backup for these boards.
Champion
Pillars of Might
Darc Ranger [Blas] / Darc Nebula [Cont]
The Bikini Patrol
Darc Lighter:51-[Blas] / Darc Lady:50-[Tank]
The Panty Raiders
Aegis Magnus [MM] / Atomic Spector [Cor] / Dominar Sefus [Dom]
MEGAFORCE
-Darc Ranger [Def]
Hey Darc!
Yes actually, I've got the Flat & Teck archives blogged up as a backup (and so they wouldn't clog up the boards). Link is in the sig for anyone that wants to catch up.
Flat & Teck
#42 - Boom
In the lower Atmosphere, Teckstyle struggles to slow his ascent. At the rate hes going, it will only be a few seconds before he enters low orbit, and hes not sure his suit is space rated. Hed rather not find out.
With the benefit of hindsight, he can confidently say that taking on those five Zeus-class titans was a mistake. Hed have to remember that for next time.
If there was a next time.
The suits propulsion systems wont shut down and their fuel cells wont run out any time soon. Teck curses the decision to fill up this morning. He curses a lot of things at this moment. Most of them are unprintable. Even more of them involve Flatfoot.
With time running out, he positions his arms straight ahead and prepares to try and redirect his flight path, takes a deep breath and starts counting down.
As he does, he sees the stars stretching out into beautiful infinity. In that instant, somewhere between Three and Two, life, the universe, and everything make sense to him.
Of course, then he reaches number one, and fires off a massive blast of energy from his fists that sends the tranquility of the moment into complete chaos.
Before blacking out, Teck realizes four things. One, the gambit paid off because it drained enough of his power supply to short out his engines. Two, he was now spinning helplessly back down to Earth. Three, he was probably going to die, and four, this was all Flatfoots fault.
Down in the Kitchen of the Reverse Flatfoots Secret Lair, Deadfoot opens the fridge and looks inside.
Hey! Theres no lemonade in here! he says.
The fridge is empty save for a carton of milk. Deadfoot takes the carton out and shakes it around. It rattles. He opens it up and peers inside, then shrugs and tilts the contents into his mouth.
Mmm, crunchy, he says. Then he remembers that hes a technologically reanimated corpse powered by a kinetic energy generator and no longer has any reason to eat, drink or sleep. Then he shrugs again and swallows. He closes the carton and puts it back on the fridge shelf. Just as he does, the rear of the fridge slides down and a bearded, eye-patched face stares out at him. Deadfoot stares back.
I knew it! Pirates DO live in refrigerators! the brute says after a while.
The pirate scowls. Arr, this aint the exit were lookin for. Then he points behind Deadfoot and shouts Look! A three-headed monkey!
Where?! Deadfoot turns around but sees nothing. Aww man, hes fast. He looks back to the fridge and sees everything back to normal. Huh. I dont remember what I was thinking about before, yet I feel strangely placated. Hmm.
Back in the stratosphere, something strange is happening. No, its not the costumed blaster plummeting back to Earth. That happens more often than youd think. Rather, it is what is now surrounding said blaster that is of interest. Sparks jump from circuit to circuit as a failsafe system tries to boot the system back online. Nanobots swarm across the surface of the armor patching up damage. If he were awake, Teck would probably wonder when the nanobots were installed.
Down on the streets of Peregrine Island, Flatfoot is squinting up into the sky.
Huh, he says. That doesnt happen normally. Hes usually back by now.
Several hundred feet above solid ground, two glowing clouds are speaking urgently.
The time grows near, the blue one says. We will only have one chance to complete the melding.
I understand your crazy plan. Youve only explained it every day that weve been on this rock, the purple one says. I take the red one, and you join the blue one and the universe gets saved. It is not complicated.
Suddenly the swiftly descending form of Teckstyle whooshes through the clouds. The purple shape spins around briefly before stabilizing and looks around.
Down below, Teckstyle has a bright blue glow surrounding him as he plummets to the ground.
Now
now its complicated, the purple cloud says.
Flatfoot continues looking into the sky. He sees a red battle suit surrounded by a blue aura hurtling down.
Ah, there he is, Flat says. Thingsll be back to normal any minute now.
The blue aura around Teck flashes, expands and obscures the blaster, causing the scrapper to look away. Seconds later, the shockwave reaches Flats ears, nearly deafening him.
When he looks back to the sky, Flat sees nothing except for a wisp of smoke. A small object shoots into the ground, leaving a small crater in the concrete near Flats feet. Its Teckstyles helmet.
Teck!!
***Don't know what's going on? Check out the link in the sig for the Flat & Teck archives
Odmn, I remember that part. And was left hangin' for months. Again, welcome back, Flat.
"Champion (the Community Server... or GTFO) is like a small town where everyone knows each other's names, for better or worse." -kojirodensetsu.
"If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail." - Maslow's Hammer
#43 - Now With 90% Less Teck
Flatfoot holds the helmet of Teckstyle in his hands, staring in stunned silence.
Teck? Speak to me buddy. I know youre in there! Flat shakes the helmet violently. A few charred circuits crumble out. Flat curses and throws the helmet to the ground.
The helmet bounces and lands with a beep.
If you can hear this, then Im dead, the pre-recorded voice of Teckstyle says. Flat, I just wanted you to know
that I hold you entirely responsible for this, and that whatever it was, it was a stupid idea.
The helmet beeps again and goes silent.
Flat kicks the helmet angrily across the street, then hops around on one foot, crying out in pain.
Crank Shaft enters the kitchen.
Yo, Deady. Its time.
Whu-? Deadfoot asks between crunchy mouthfuls.
What are you eating?
Milk. Deadfoot holds out the rancid carton. Want some?
Hell no! Crank recoils. Get in gear. Its revenge time.
Flat sits on the curb, quietly holding Teckstyles helmet. Occasionally traffic swerves to avoid hitting him. A small red butterfly flutters by and lands on Flats face. He yells out in alarm and waves his hands around like a little girl trying to shoo it away, then he goes back to staring at the helmet.
You are Flatfoot? a voice asks.
Eh, Flat answers.
Please stand up, the voice continues. The city is in grave danger.
Who are you?
I am a luminous being, come to help-
Go away, Im not in the mood.
Will you get up off your duff you big idiot!
Flat looks at the helmet closely. Teck?
Sure. Why not. It is I
Teck.
Did you shrink or something?
Theres no time to explain everything. We have to get to Terra Volta to stop the reactor from overloading.
Flat jumps up. City in danger? That means all those hot Carnies in their corsets and jester hats too, right? We cant let that happen!
Wait, the voice says. You cant stop it on your own. You
We, will need help. Do a scan for any local heroes.
Um, how?
Put the helmet on, it should do the rest.
Im not sure I want to do that. Ive never really, you know, seen you clean it out or even take it off.
Theres candy inside.
Well, that changes everything, Flat says, popping Tecks helmet onto his head.
As he stumbles around trying to orient himself, a purple cloud swoops down and surrounds Flat.
Can I ask a question, the cloud asks. How would you like to have your powers greatly advanced?
Yeah, sure, Flat says, bumping into a wall. How do I see out of this bucket?
There is no answer. The purple cloud flashes brightly then disappears.
Flat yanks the helmet off. All I could find are three guys calling themselves the Grammar Guardians. Sound like Chess Club types to me. Hello? Invisible voice of Teck?
Youll forgive the deception, but time is short, the voice, now inside Flats head, says. I am K!xt, what you humans would call a Warshade. I have merged with you so that we may save the city.
Um, wha-?
By merging, we have access to vast stores of cosmic power.
I keep hearing merging, did I miss something?
See for yourself, K!xt says, drawing Flat to his reflection in a window.
Oh. My. God.
Forty-five minutes later, Flatfoot steps out of the Icons store in Independence Port.
Yeah. This is more like it, he says, folding his arms. His old blue and gold uniform has been exchanged for a purple and amber version. Over it, he wears a dark purple trench coat. Over his eyes sit a pair of wraparound sunglasses (also purple and amber) and his hair has had enough gel put in it to protect him at low speed collisions. He looks at his reflection in the Icons doorway and strokes a brand new soul patch.
Was this really necessary? K!xt asks.
Oh yeah. Totally. Lets go stop some nuclear
whatever it was you said.
Just outside the Terra Volta reactor, five heads peek out of an air duct leading into the center of the facility.
There it is, just like I told ya, Tecknique says. Time to go blow it up.
#44 - Flailing
Flatfoot runs down the streets of Independence Port at incredible speed. His new trench coat billows out behind him. His thickly gelled hair stays motionless. He skids to a stop at the edge of a wharf, looking up to the island in the center of the port, on which Terra Volta is located. A damaged, gang infested bridge leads up to the reactor entrance, but it frustrates the speedster because its not a straight line.
You know, K!xt the Warshade says inside his mind. There is a more direct way.
But I dont know any teleporters that are willing to talk to me a second time
Flat says.
I was talking about flying.
Oh, that, Flat says dismissively. In case you havent realized, Thats not how I roll.
Think about flying. Think about how much you want to, and how much you want to be able to fly over there.
Hey, I didnt sign up for a self help lecture over here, Flat says.
Look, you want to fly over there, right?
Well, yeah.
Then visualize it happening!
Ok, ok.
Flat closes his eyes and concentrates. He feels strange for a moment, then he feels no ground beneath him. He opens his eyes to see himself hovering 30 feet in the air.
Whoa! Flat says. All right. Lets do this! He starts flying toward the reactor.
Wait! What about that team we were looking at. We might need help.
Yeah, but that was before I knew I could fly. I wonder what else I can do?
Flat thinks for a moment, then sees a group of Tsoo lurking in an alley. Hey, I wonder if I can
Several dark purple tendrils of light fire down at the thugs, sending them flying when they connect.
Yeah. Were good to go, Flat says and soars over to the Terra Volta reactor.
So how are we getting in? Deadfoot asks the yellow-clad Reverse Flatfoot.
When you let revenge motivate you, you learn all sorts of valuable secrets and tricks from like-minded individuals, the villain answers.
He knows a guy in maintenance, Crank Shaft says, arms crossed.
Nobody asked you! Reverse Flat snaps. Is the Anti-Bomb ready?
Yeah, sure, Crank says.
Where is it?!
My people are installing it.
A pair of robots walk by carrying a large crate. Boy. Is. My. Back. Killing. Me, one of them says.
Thats. What. She. Said, the second one says. Ha. Ha. Ha.
Id. High. Five. You. If. I. Could.
Did you have to give them personalities? Reverse Flat says.
I find that it makes them more productive to have an interest in what I do, Crank answers.
Deadfoot listens to Reverse Flatfoots berating, know-it-all tone and starts thinking that there is something uncomfortably familiar about his new employer.
This-This is incredible, Flatfoot says, flying over the pipes and girders of the Terra Volta complex. He buzzes past a gaggle of Sky Raiders, laughing.
Yes, the power of flight is one of the great new benefits of the merging, K!xt says. But remember, there is more power to be revealed.
I dont know what to say, Flat says. Im overwhelmed. I feel
I feel
I feel like I could
Sing!
Flatfoot opens his mouth to sing and catches a reflection of himself in a skylight. He sees a hideous purple squid-like monster flying though the air with glowing eyes and an array of tentacles protruding from its back.
Ahhh!! Flatfoot screams. The reflection waves its tentacles around frantically.
#45 - Girl Trouble
What did you do to me?! Flatfoot yells at K!xt, the Warshade merged with him. He hovers over the Terra Volta nuclear power complex, tentacles flailing in panic.
We Kheldians retain an essence of the species we have merged with previously, and are able to call upon them at certain times of-
I dont care about your crazy alien physiology! How do you undo it!?
Thats simple, all you do is relax and think of your natural form-
With a flash of light, Flatfoot returns to his normal appearance, and immediately drops like a rock out of the sky. The hero sees the ground rushing towards him and desperately wishes he was standing on solid ground instead of rocketing toward it.
Another flash of light, and Flatfoot hovers upright three feet over a level rooftop. He opens his eyes carefully and gingerly drops to his feet safely.
Ok
Now Im really confused.
You werent supposed to transform back in mid-air! K!xt shouts at Flatfoot.
On a nearby rooftop, seven shadowy figures observe Flatfoot bickering with the voice in his head. All are armed with an array of knives and guns and really big binoculars. One of the rooftops residents stands apart from the rest. She, a black-clad amazon of a female with glowing red eyes, hefts a large alien looking gun.
At long last. My prey lies within my grasp. Your mercenaries have done their work well, Sister Antigone.
Weve been observing this particular scrapper for weeks now. The Malta group have been
complaining about him. This was true. Sappers were filing constant grievances about a blue blur that was kicking their heads and breaking their goggles before running away giggling. The change to a purple costume had thrown off the Knives, but only until for a few minutes.
No matter, the void huntress says leveling her gun. One shot is all I need.
Inside the bowels of Terra Volta, an air ventilation shaft opens and an small squad of stalkers silently excrete themselves into a hallway.
Excellent, the gingerbread man says, wringing his sugary palms in evil anticipation. Yes. Yes. Something like this is exactly what I need. He pauses, then looks around. How do we blow it up?
Sister Antigone reaches over and swats the Quantum gun down.
No! She hisses.
The Void Huntress fixes her with a burning glare. You dare?
You dont realize how fast he really is. Our snipers havent been able to get a clear shot on him in the entire time weve been tracking him.
Then what do you suggest we do about it?
Lure him into a trap of course. If Sister Antigone were the kind to smile, and wasnt wearing a full face mask, she would be smiling.
Even deeper inside Terra Volta, Deadfoot looks on curiously at the assembled Anti-Bomb.
Does it have to be that big? he asks.
Of course, the Reverse Flatfoot says, grinning widely. With the explosion from this bomb, I can finally get revenge on all of the people on my list in one fell swoop.
Its not really a swoop, is it, Crank Shaft says, looking up from a dice game he had been playing with his robotic minions.
Shut up. Reverse Flat says. You should be more invested in this scheme anyway. After all, it was only with your work on your Jaeger-Bomb that this was even possible.
Yeah. But the challenge was in building it. My parts done. The mastermind of the mechanical turns back to his dice game and rolls. He rolls a two. Damn!
A protect-bot rolls next. Come. On. Baby. Needs. A. New. Pair. Of . Shoes.
Is
is he losing to his own robots? Reverse Flat whispers to Deadfoot.
Yes. Yes he is, Deadfoot answers.
Well a quick primer on what I can and cant do now would be a big help, you know, Flatfoot says bitterly.
I have been telling you everything I can. You are the one who chooses not to listen, K!xt
Whatever. Im running from now on-
Help! Help! a voice cries from a nearby rooftop.
Hark! Flatfoot says. A woman in danger!
I do urge you to look up some allies. What about those Grammar Guardians from earlier?
Pshaw, Flat says. Damsels in distress are routine. Thisll be a cakewalk.
Now, Crank Shaft says, boredom creeping into his voice. The timer is set to go off in 57 minutes. We should probably get going.
Why 57 minutes? Deadfoot asks.
Confuses people trying to diffuse it.
A loud crash from the other end of the reactor room stops the conversation.
Great! Just great! Tecknique yells. Stealthiest killers in the world. I cant believe you!
Arr, that bucket ought notve been in the middle of the hallway, Flatbeard says defensively.
Uh, guys, Invisibull says, pointing at the Reverse Flatfoots crew. Were not alone here.
Do you think they spotted us? Pizzocato Polecat asks.
Cranks robots snap to attention and Deadfoots fists glow with the promise of pink death.
Now what seems to be the trouble here mam, Flatfoot says, alighting on the aforementioned nearby rooftop. He spies a woman huddled against a chimney. Was it the Circle of Thorns? Theyve got this crazy obsession with rooftops.
The woman turns around, revealing a slim olive jumpsuit and a pair of military goggles and a pair of pistols leveled at the hero.
Oh crap! Flat shouts, raising a faint purple sphere around himself before the mercenary fires. The bullets bounce off harmlessly. Ha! he says.
Five more Knives of Artemis step out of the shadows. Flat stares in surprise at them. Um. Hello ladies. Very nice, um, binoculars, he says seeing the optical devices hanging from Sister Antigones neck. They open fire without responding.
Flat jumps and dodges around the rooftop, avoiding bullets and shurikens with ease. Come on, ladies, youve got to put out more if you want to dance with the Flatster, Flat taunts.
Sister Antigone reaches into a pocket and throws out a small canister that explodes in the air. A shower of tiny metal pyramids falls to the ground. Flat, concentrating on avoiding a hail of gunfire, runs directly onto the caltrops and immediately feels the effects.
Owie! Owie! Owie! Flat says, hopping around. The gunfire stops.
The Void Huntress emerges from the shadows and powers up her quantum rifle.
Quantum gun? Ha! Ive been hit by those all the time. Im not afraid of your puny alien weaponry!
Yes we are! K!xt shouts inside Flatfoots head. One hit will likely kill us!
Oh, Flat says watching helplessly as the Quantum gun glows angrily at him. He closes his eyes and wishes he were somewhere else.
Flat & Teck,
#46 - How I Spent My Rikti Invasion
Staring down the barrel of a Quantum disrupter gun is not the way Flatfoot imagined his death would happen. Instead he rather hoped it would involve a large chocolate fountain. At least there were hot women. True, they were fully clothed in combat gear and masks, and trying to kill him, but he still assumed they were hot, so it could at least be rationalized that way.
He closed his eyes, preparing for the end, all the while wishing he was inside the reactor instead of on a rooftop.
Several seconds pass without Flat feeling anything remotely like dead. Cautiously, he opens his eyes. He is surprised to be in an empty corridor. The whirring of machinery is the only sound.
What
happened? Flat asks.
Teleportation, K!xt answers weakly. One of the greatest powers available to a Warshade.
Cool! Do it again!
The energy expended for a teleportation of that magnitude is very taxing.
Ok
but can you do it again? Please?
No.
Dang, Flat says. Where are we?
Inside the bowels of the Terra Volta nuclear reactor.
Oh. Nifty. So now what do we do?
Is this the part where we pummel each other insensate? Deadfoot asks.
Twould appear so, Flatbeard the Pirate says, getting into a Crane stance balanced precariously on his peg leg.
What the hell do you think youre doing here? Reverse Flatfoot demands.
Heinous acts of villainy, Invisibull answers. You?
Sabotaging the reactor.
Well thats what we came here to do.
Says who? Reverse Flat says, crossing his yellow-clad arms.
Well
, says us, the stalker answers.
Thing is, guys, Deadfoot says, we were here first.
So? Its not like youve called dibs on the place, Tecknique snorts.
Dibs has nothing to do with it. We were already here! Reverse Flat says.
Uh, guys
? Crank Shaft says.
I mean, weve already gone and set it all up and everything, Reverse Flat says.
Yeah, about that
Crank says, trying to get their attention.
Pshaw, we couldve done that, Pizzocato Polecat says.
With what? I dont see you hauling around 8,000 kilos worth of explosives! Reverse Flat yells.
Well
Tecknique says.
Technically. We. Did. The. Hauling, one of Cranks robots chimes in.
What were you planning on doing? Punching and kicking the reactor to death? Reverse Flat rants.
Hey, why couldnt weve done that instead? Deadfoot asks.
Shut up, Reverse Flat snaps.
Well, to be fair, weve been a-hittin the rum pretty hard tonight, Flatbeard says.
Look, guys, theres probably something you should be aware of
Crank says.
All right, fine, Tecknique says, folding his arms. If you kick us out, well just go around saying that we blew up the reactor ourselves.
Oh please, Reverse Flat retorts. Howre you gonna prove it?
Id say the smoking crater would be the first clue.
Yeah, but wed just tell everyone that you didnt have any explosives.
You do realize it would be your word against ours, Reverse Flat says.
Yeah, who to trust? Deadfoot grunts. Lying, sneaking stalkers with a man made of candy, or the lying yellow man who yells a lot and the armored guy going with the robots who tell terrible jokes?
Low. Blow. Man, a robot says.
Yeah. Words. Can. Hurt.
Where did he go?! the Void Huntress demands.
He appears to have vanished, Sister Antigone answers.
I can see that!!!
Hes never done that before.
Well find him! Find him now! I want his Kheldian head on a stick!
What, just like that? Antigone asks.
Yes! the Void Huntress says furiously.
Its not going to be that easy.
What do you mean?
Itll take time, coordination, resources, money
Sister Antigone says, counting on her fingers.
What are you implying?
It will cost extra.
Thats ridiculous! Im not paying you any more without results!
Fine then, it looks like were done here then.
Fine!
All right.
All right! the void huntress yells and storms off the rooftop, cursing loudly.
Well that went well, a Knife of Artemis says after the void has gone.
See Sister? That is why we charge in advance, Sister Antigone says.
Our policies are very wise indeed, the subordinate agrees, then looks up and gasps. Look! Up in the air!
Sister Antigone and the Knives of Artemis look skyward and see hundreds of Rikti spaceships entering the atmosphere.
Now would probably be a good time to leave, Sisters, Antigone says.
What do you mean, leave? Tecknique says.
Im confused, the Gingerbread Man asks. Are we blowing up this reactor or not?
Thats what Ive been trying to tell you! Crank shouts. We can stand here arguing over who gets to blow up the reactor, but we can only do that for 47 more minutes, because by then, itll blow up anyway!
So ya mean it be set ta go off like a powderkeg in a bonfire? Flatbeard asks, stroking his facial hair.
Yes.
Thats what we wanted, right? the Gingerbread man asks.
Yes.
Just checking.
All right, tell you what, Tecknique says. We wont fight you if we get equal credit for the explosion.
Blackmail? Reverse Flat says in surprise.
Think of it more like a super villain team up.
45 Minutes, Crank says.
All right, fine, Reverse Flat says, offering his hand. Its a deal.
Tecknique shakes it. Pleasure doing shady business with you.
Excellent, the Gingerbread Man says. With the force from this explosion, Ill have enough energy to get back to the Candyverse!
Yeah, whatever, cookie man, Reverse Flat says.
Soon, all dimensions will- The Gingerbread Mans sentence is punctuated by two purple rays of light piercing through his crunchy ginger body, shattering into a million sugary pieces.
Cool. Laser eyes! a voice from the doorway says. I mean, stop right there you naughty neer-do-wells!
The villains gasp. Flatfoot steps into the reactor room and puts his hands on his hips, trench coat swirling dramatically, light reflecting off of his sunglasses. Give it up Deadfoot, Crank Shaft and
a whole bunch of people I dont know.
Wait a minute, Flatfoot? Deadfoot asks. Did you put on weight?
Lets not focus on whether or not my eating habits have taken a turn for the worse, shall we? Lets talk about you guys-
No fair blasting that weird cookie guy. Were the villains, were supposed to take the first shot, Invisibull complains.
Thats just part of my edgy new image, just like the endless number of small, empty pockets lining my costume, Flat answers. Besides, Im in a bit of a hurry.
So are we! Pizzocato Polecat shouts.
40 minutes, Crank says.
See!?
Good readin'. Keep'em comin', Flat.
"Champion (the Community Server... or GTFO) is like a small town where everyone knows each other's names, for better or worse." -kojirodensetsu.
"If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail." - Maslow's Hammer
Flat & Teck,
#47 - Like You Really Thought He Was Dead
Well, well, well, Reverse Flatfoot says. If it isnt my old nemesis, Flatfoot.
I thought Nemesis was everyones nemesis? Tecknique whispers.
Shut up!
Im sorry, Flat says, but do I know you?
You ruined my life, Flatfoot!!
Could you be more specific? Flat shrugs.
Every time Ive run into you, Id always get put in the hospital! Broken legs! Fractured collars! Crushed lungs! Halitosis!
Nope, not ringing any bells.
Halitosis? Crank Shaft asks.
Actually, he does look kinda familiar now that I think about it
Deadfoot says to himself.
What did I ever do to you to ever deserve the hell youve put me through!? Reverse Flat rants. And now you dont even remember me!?
A name might help, Flat says helpfully.
Its- Reverse Flat begins.
28 minutes, Crank says, reminding everyone of the anti-bomb.
Oh damn! I forgot about the bomb! Reverse Flat yells. Everyone, get him! Quick!
Crank Shaft presses a button on his arm. As one, his robots open fire with a hail of bullets, rockets and lasers. Flatfoot dodges behind a column to avoid the barrage. He looks left and sees the glint of claws next to him. He ducks just as Pizzocato Polecat takes a swipe at his head, hissing angrily. A quick leg sweep knocks her to the ground.
Invisibull, completely forgetting his profession, bulrushes Flat, horns lowered. Flat ***** his head in curiosity, then casually sidesteps the charging bull-man, who thuds into a wall behind the hero, his horns effectively lodged in place.
A loud Yarrgh! behind Flat provides barely enough warning. Flat spins around and dodges a potentially devastating attack. Flatfoot and his piratical extra dimensional doppelganger exchange punches and kicks at incredible speed. For a moment, it looks like the two are equally matched. Then Flat points behind the stalker. Look, a three headed monkey!
Where? Flatbeard the Pirate asks, distracted. Flatfoot takes the opportunity grab the stalkers pegleg, spin him around, and then throws the pirate into Crank Shafts robots, bowling them over.
Now thats what Im talking about, Flat says, dusting off his hands. A loud crack at the back of his skull causes him to stagger, cross his eyes, and fall over.
Tecknique stands over him, having bashed the hero in the head with the butt of his sword.
Yeah, whos the master!? Tecknique shouts. Anyone? Aww. Someones supposed to say Sho Nuff. You guys are no fun.
Restrain him! Reverse Flatfoot shouts. Deadfoot takes one of Cranks damaged robots and drops it on Flat, just as the hero starts to wake up.
I almost want to applaud you, Reverse Flat says, pacing around the hero. You almost succeeded in beating us. But even if you did manage that, how would you have disarmed the bomb?
I-
I thought so. It amazes me how everything you speedsters do is fast, except your thought process. And thats why Ive won. Unlike you, I can think ahead. He pauses. You should feel honored though. Youre going to be at ground zero for the biggest explosion Rhode Island has ever seen. And I get the satisfaction of know that you died alone, confused, and strapped to a bomb.
You know, theres a lot of things in this world that I cant stand, a new voice says from above. And a ranting monologue is definitely high on the list.
Teckstyle!?!? the villains shout.
I thought you were dead? Flat asks.
Yeah, funny story about that, actually
Teck says.
You had me worried there for a bit with you and partner in crime, or is that comical heroic adventures.
Cannot not wait for Teck's story.
Champion
Pillars of Might
Darc Ranger [Blas] / Darc Nebula [Cont]
The Bikini Patrol
Darc Lighter:51-[Blas] / Darc Lady:50-[Tank]
The Panty Raiders
Aegis Magnus [MM] / Atomic Spector [Cor] / Dominar Sefus [Dom]
MEGAFORCE
-Darc Ranger [Def]
Flat & Teck,
#48 - New And Improved!
Enough of this, Reverse Flatfoot shouts. Kill him too! he adds, pointing up at a sleekly armored and very glowy Teckstyle.
I, uh, cant exactly reach him, Deadfoot says, swiping at the air. Hes out of reach.
Cant you throw something at him?!
You know, that never occurred to me before, the brute shrugs.
Teck waves his hand and Flat appears across the room, freed from the robot he had been pinned under. Nifty, he says. Hey, Teck, you got any other new tricks?
Well, Ive got this
Teck says, surrounding himself with a light blue bubble. Deadfoot, having picked up a computer monitor and throwing it at Teck, swears when it bounces off the bubble.
You know, your eyes are glowing, Flat says.
Uh, right back atcha. Anybody miss me?
Nah. Found a new partner in crime fighting. His names K!xt. He gave me new powers and saved my bacon.
Youre welcome, K!xt tells Flat.
I
see, Teck says slowly. And
where is your friend now?
He lives inside my head and yells at me a lot.
Ahhhh
Flat, is this your way of telling me youve found religion?
I can turn into a flying squid monster.
You do realize youve never sounded crazier, Teck says while another computer monitor bounces off his bubble.
And Ive got laser eyes, Flat goes on.
Right.
Dont believe me? Fine. Flat concentrates and fires two purple beams of light out of his eyes. They lance through Crank Shafts armor and knock him to the ground.
Ok fine, maybe you DO actually have laser eyes, Teck concedes. A stray shot from Cranks pulse rifle grazes Tecks shoulder. What the-? That actually HIT me! That just- Makes me- So- ARRRRGHH!
Teck erupts into a flash of bright blue light. When done, a ten foot tall armored glowing hulk resembling both a rhinoceros and an elephant beetle stands where Teck was. It makes an unearthly bellow and rushes toward the three villains. In moments, its all over and the villains are bludgeoned unconscious. There is another flash of blue light and Teck hovers in the air once more. He looks around and sees the defeated villains.
What just happened?
You, uh, turned into a big blue rhino looking thing and destroyed the bad guys, Flat says.
I dont mean to sound doubtful, but have you been hit in the head repeatedly?
No more than usual, Flat answers. So howd you survive the explosion?
Well, Im not actually sure. One minute Im in the lower atmosphere, plummeting to earth, the next Im sitting in a forest without my armor and no idea where I am. So I fashioned a new set of armor out of leaves, bark and twigs and ventured out. Eventually I found my way to a walled city which was populated by-
BORING, Flat says.
And it was ruled by a beautiful queen.
Oh. Thats better.
The city was under attack by some ancient monster from the ocean, but using their advanced technology I was able to destroy the creature and save the city. In gratitude they made me their king, I married their queen, and we have two wonderful children.
Teck
you were only gone for a couple of days
Time moves differently in other dimensions.
So how and whyd you get back?
Well
they tend to get rather touchy about religion. One crack about their goofy snake god and youre on the run. Say, can we crash in your guest room?
Ahhh Flat says.
Five Minutes Remaining, the counter on the bomb says.
Oh. Right, Teck says. Lets see
He kneels down and examines the bomb.
Canyoufixit? Idontwannablowup!
Teck reaches behind the bomb, gives a tug and holds up a power cord. The timer on the bomb stops and goes dim. Well theres yer problem.
Good going, Teck. Whodathunk that the bombs greatest weakness was its power supply?
Its not Teck anymore. Call me Newstyle to reflect my new status in life. Ive been through a lot.
Cool. Can I be Improved Foot?
What
?
You know, like New & Improved!
Heh, I love this story. Keep'em comin', Flat.
"Champion (the Community Server... or GTFO) is like a small town where everyone knows each other's names, for better or worse." -kojirodensetsu.
"If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail." - Maslow's Hammer
The radio.