Am I addicted to my powersuit?




I'm worried that I'm getting addicted to my powersuit.

My name's Daniel Barkley, and due to a childhood case of polio, I've spent most of my life in a wheelchair. It didn't bother me, I had fun souping it up and adding new attachments. It went through a complete rebuild at age 15--my family and I were going to a movie and a bunch of Hellions attacked. The Armorer rescued us, but my wheelchair was trashed. Imagine my surprise the next morning to find the wheelchair rebuilt by the Armorer, with some cool extras.

Well, I was in college, experimenting with something I call "living metal", when I learned that the Rikti had killed the Armorer. I decided I had to take his place, and used the living metal to create my power suit. In it, I can walk, I can run, I can even hover for a while in it.

I made it to protect the innocent of Paragon City but now...I hate taking it off and going back to the wheelchair. Sometimes I wonder if I'm losing Daniel Barkley, I haven't taken up any new projects since I put on the suit.

I still do go out as Daniel. My parents don't know about my other identity, Mom would worry so much. But I've quit my wheelchair basketball league, how can I shoot balls from my chair and get excited, when I can put on the suit and go one-on-one with anyone?

I'm guessing I'm the only heroe who spends his off time in a wheelchair, but there are other types of transformations. Do you worry about losing yourself in your secret identities?

My arcs are constantly shifting, just search for GadgetDon for the latest.
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I'm posting this for a friend who feels like he needs some guidance. Personally I think he shuld just get over himself, but what do I know? I'm a freaking mutant.


Daniel, I feel your pain and confusion. You are not alone!

I too have a "super-suit" of sorts. As a physicist studying high-energy particles when the Rikti originally attacked, I was involved in a terrible accident. As near as I can tell, my body was bombarded by strange energies (sub-quarks I called them at the time) which changed me, giving me unusual and amazing powers.

By time I learned to control them the invasion mostly over and the city lay in ruins. I tried fighting some of those nasty clockwork creatures that had attacked a colleague of mine, and my powers were useful. However, my body was merely mortal, and I was overcome. If The Tiny Freak hadn't saved me I don't know what would have happened.

So, in order to continue fighting the Rikti, I turned my scientific knowledge to designing a power suit that could make up for the normal-ness of my flesh and compliment the new powers I had.

Now, when I kick Rikti butt, I feel so alive and so powerful that it's a major rush! At the end of the day, when I have to get down to work with my research, I feel so weak again. I find myself only working the minimum hours required by my employer instead of the long nights I used to spend on this very interesting work.

I don't know what to do or where I should draw the line. I can't be a full-time hero because I have no other source of income. But being a full-time researcher seems so boring now that I can control light itself.

- Signed: Anonymous



The Rumbler finds no harm in becoming attached to your powersuit. What has technology and science come this far for, if not to enhance the lives we live?

My scientific "mutation", if you will, was not on purpose. But these new powers never go unused when danger is afoot.

The Rubbish Rumbler does not fear scientific addiction!

Time to take out the TRASH!



Are you familiar with the phrase "Temet Nosce"? It is Latin for "Know thyself." That is what you need to figure out. Are you Daniel? Or are you the person you become when you don your suit? It is something that only you can answer, though I'm sure you already know.

Signed: --Atma



"My powers come from a experiment not a suit so i think my perspective may be off from your. the accident that changed me made me part cat. Every day i feel this urge to just let my feline self free, sometimes i let it and its so hard to just be human again. But the truth is i am not Offericer Xena anymonre and i am not just a tiger, i am both, you are both. We are complex beings, and i aplaude you for being disabled and taking up the good fight."

Neko's Law, Lady Xena

AE # 67087: Journey through the Looking Glass - Save the World
LLX VirtueVerse! - Check out my crazy Toons
This is the size of group that we have balanced AVs for, 6.
-Positron 06/07/06 07:27 PM



Well, kid, I know where you are coming from. My powers...if you want to call them that...involve emitting and controlling electromagnetic fields. The problem is that these "powers" are a side effect. You see, I suffer from a degenerative neurological disease. My nervous system is burning itself out, day by day, minute by minute, every time I use my powers I die a little more. But I can't stop.

The doctors said it's a resonance effect; every time I use my powers a neuroelectric reaction sets up a waveform that resonates with the pleasure centers in my brain, and as the nerves break down a heady cocktail of stimulant, hallucinogen, and hypnotic hits me. Does it hurt when use my power? Hell yes. But I'm addicted, like that little rat hitting the button for cocaine, I just keep shocking.

I first came to Paragon to try to find a treatment, maybe some kinda therapy or head shrinker, something that could help me not kill myself. I haven't had much luck. My wife and daughter wouldn't move with me, they live in Connecticut. My kid doesn't know what to think (she's only 10), and my wife says she just can't live with this. Thanks to the constant neurological overdrive, I don't sleep, I don't eat except when I need B-12 or iron to keep pumping out the volts. I'm so ragged and burnt out I don't know what day it is. I do this hero gig because if I'm gonna be a junkie and die, someone should benefit.

I don't know what to tell you about your suit, though. If it makes you more than what you were before, than it can't be all bad, can it?

-Mr. Temptation



"Again i don't know if i can help but if you produce a positive change maybe my negative energy field could help you out. Maybe a counter change can help break the adiction."

-that Neko Officer

AE # 67087: Journey through the Looking Glass - Save the World
LLX VirtueVerse! - Check out my crazy Toons
This is the size of group that we have balanced AVs for, 6.
-Positron 06/07/06 07:27 PM



I myself don't have a secret identity. I'm just trying to be myself as a superhero. Well it is actually a bit different myself then before my transformation. It was a strange accident that partly transformed me into a feline. Now I'll have to fight my desires to go after a juicy mouse or rat I see. And I also like to take a catnap on a nice sunny spot. And now I really like fish while before my transformation I hated it. These are just a small number of things I did not experience before my transformation. But they are a part of my new personality now.
But right after my transformation I did indeed feel quite insecure and uncertain of myself. I saw myself as a freak and went into hiding and did not dare to expose myself to the public. If it wasn't for those nice and friendly heroes from the Freedom Force in Patriot City, I might not even have been here today. They were the ones who found me and took me into their group. They have helped me accepting my transformation and change of personality. And thanks to them I am the person you see today.



I understand the feeling of losing oneself to your powers. In fact i understand it all to well. The man I once was is dead, never to be reborn. I take little comfort in helping others with this "gift", but i cannot bring myself to cross that "line" that separates us from that which we fight. Yet how i am that much different. Both I and my enemy are monsters, I just happen to choose the "right" side of this war. Ha, choices my former self would have never had to make. But that man is dead. I miss my mother and my sisters, but i cannot let them see what i have become. My father would disown me, or try to cover it up. Just like everything else i ever did with my life. Man, i hate him. So perhaps it is best that they continue to believe i am dead. Yes, i understand losing oneself to your new identity. I understand more than i care to admit.
But what you fail to realize Daniel, is that you have a choice. You can take off your suit. Most of you can take off your costume. I cannot. I should have died in that hospital bed. Died for the sins of a former life. I was the one that stuck the needle in my arm over and over again. Stuck it in til the disease finally took hold. It should have killed me. But oh no, I'm special and didn't even know it. My own body refused to let me die, and in the process deformed me. I cannot hide the fire that burns behind my eyes. The radiation they emit melts sunglasses. I cannot repair the wounds this has caused to my face. I can only cover them up. I cannot be the man i used to be.
Most of you still have a choice. Choose wisely. We cannot undo the mistakes of our past. We cannot fortell the future. We can only live the best we are able in the present. The man that lives in the past will surely stumble and fall, for he cannot see the steps ahead. The man that lives in the future will never truly live, for he does not notice the present. Live your life in the now, Daniel. When you are in the chair, savor every moment of it because each one could be your last. When you are in the suit, cherish it for what it is. Not what you want it to be.
If their are any of you out there that are still afraid of your powers, don't how to control them, have lost control of them, have been deformed by them, hide form them, or just feel horribly alone and afraid. Sanity's Edge is looking for new members. Feel free to contact me, I will help as much as I can. Good luck to all. And always remember - Choice is one of the few things that no one can take from you.