ridiculous_girl

besides... look at what the ENIAC was back in the day...

[ QUOTE ]
The difference engine wasn't steam powered, it was set up with a crank. At least, the one I saw was, and I understood it to be a copy of Babbage's. It was also about as big as a damn room. Not super mobile.

[/ QUOTE ]

but converting from crank to steam powered piston is a very small technological step...

what i am also suprised at is that no one has mentioned a steam powered difference engine. though i have not completely read either on the threads to verify whether this has been brought up... i am not well versed in COX lore, but this always seemed like a plausible explanation for the purely mechanical route of technology.

it is all learning curve. if i look back at the first couple i reviewed, they weren't good. it takes a fair number to get a good review groove going. it will take a few tries to work the kinks out. you are getting feedback on your reviewstyle, which is unusual but potentially useful. keep at it...

way to try and steer the thread back to topic cap' amazing

thank you suedenim, i will get right on it that soon. save a review for later, i have a new arc trickling out. hopefully it will come to fruition sometime soon.

I just went through "Hero Therapy" and throughly enjoyed it!

i am very glad to hear that.

It kept seeming to me that the "Little Dream People" and "Little Nightmares" should hav been called "Inner Demons" due to their design. Take that as you will. It also seemed that it might be appropriate to give some of them fear/mental powers, although I can see how that could be annoying, gameplay-wise.

i had originally had one boss with mental powers, but in the final confrontation with the door, stacking confuses and/or fears was a bit too much, so i removed them. i just gave them random odd powers, for the dreamlike character. the names has been mentioned at other times. it was their original names and i have yet to think of an alternative that i am happy with.

I especially liked having the Therapist there as an observer. It brought out the feel of things very well and made the whole adventure seem more interactive.

i love having the therapist follow you around. i feel kind of guilty leaving him behind sometimes. it cracks me up to think people will run at a disavantage to keep him around, despite his non-participant status. i do it all the time.

I kind of wish the theme of the people in your mind thinking they were real and not imaginary could have been expanded upon. Perhaps in a sequel? Kind of a Red King sort of thing?

that is why there is a lot of self questioning going on with some of the patrols. while others are caught up in the more mundane aspects

Alternately, you could try to give them dialogue that 'seems reminiscent' of the times you fought them before, or which are spurred off of why they are populating the dark recesses of tyour mind. Things like, "I made you afraid of doctors alll over again!" for the Vahzilok.

that is a great idea! i will have to figure how to incorporate something like that...

It did seem that the scary librarian was a bit specific (not to the point that it bothered me, just that it occurred to me). You might consider making her a bit more generic, such as a 'scary old lady'.

there is a fine line between too specific and not specific enough. i just had an image in my head and it was a scary librarian for some reason. i don't know where it came from, but i like her.

Vanity seemed perfect. Her line about freaks was golden.



And whose Secret Shame isn't a Japanese schoolgirl with a camera? Er, I mean...moving along now...

uhhh i won't say anything if you don't...

And The Door was also very good, kind of a 'mysterious unknown/stranger' archetype.

i love the door... he is one of my favorite personal NPCs.

thank you very much for your play and for your feedback. i will get to one of your arcs soon enough and give you feedback on my review thread. not sure which, i will see when i get on.

all your arcs are belong to me!

give me more arcs! don't make me go trolling for arcs through the various threads! dammit! i want more!

still for quid pro quo of course... but come on! help me out!

Arc name: Dr. Dave and the Copper Legion, Arc ID:60280

i ran this arc with obvious girl, my level 36 MA/SR scrapper, on rugged.

a couple of observations and comments as i went along...

mission 1
so are you searching ruins in the past or searching cimeroran ruins in the present? why study ruins in the past? it becomes anthropology rather than archeology... ok i understand now that the mission is finished, sort of, but the methods heather employed are a little niave and blundering.

the mission is empty of dialogue, except the rescue

i like the lost text for heather, different from your standard text

mission 2
again, empty of any dialogue

mission 4

maybe let the hostages run away?

i do appreciate the 7 separate hostage texts

mission 5
slight problem in continuity. in sun coyote's description he is a professor of anthropology, which makes more sense, but in the first mission he calls himself an archeologist, which makes less sense.

where did the keystone come from? i did not see the clue drop... from moment? maybe put that in the defeat text...

feedback
ok, this is an excellent story arc. i did not find much that i could say in the negative. you have a tight story, that expands into the COX canon, very well edited, and keeps the story going and elements together. great custom group too, though they did hit pretty hard, especially the LT's. i really enjoyed it all...

couple of things on my mind. namely filling the mission in with details. you have really nice, long clues in the beginning, i found that very helpful. i just dislike quiet missions. while further on it is understandable with the copper legion, they are meant to be silent. but with the COT and the traitors it can never hurt to add some dialogue text to the patrols for example. it does not have to apply to the story. stuff like "isn't this shift almost over?" kind of thing humanizes the story. i am pretty sure you have plenty of room left over since you have moderate number of customs and a handful of NPCs. extraneous detail never hurts either. the use of seven different hostages is exactly the type of thing that i appreciate. the two different patrols in the last mission too. if you could fit something like that in the first two missions that would be great.

but the most outstanding and glaringly unanswered question in my mind is... what is going on between "dr dave" and heather? are they making the angry mythical monster with two backs? come on... i bet if i turned my back they would be all over each other... i am sure they are crossing some student/teacher boundries here... there is a subtext going on here, i know it! enquiring minds want to know!

otherwise, nice job. i really enjoyed that arc. i am always glad to see someone that ties it all up in such a nice package. after reviewing a fair number of arcs you come to appreciate those those stand above the rest in simple story telling. i like the open ended nature of it all too.

if you would run my hero therapy arc, i just updated and added more content. it would be greatly appreciated.

Arc name: Dr. Dave and the Copper Legion, Arc ID:60280

i ran this arc with obvious girl, my level 36 MA/SR scrapper, on rugged.

a couple of observations and comments as i went along...

mission 1
so are you searching ruins in the past or searching cimeroran ruins in the present? why study ruins in the past? it becomes anthropology rather than archeology... ok i understand now that the mission is finished, sort of, but the methods heather employed are a little niave and blundering.

the mission is empty of dialogue, except the rescue

i like the lost text for heather, different from your standard text

mission 2
again, empty of any dialogue

mission 4

maybe let the hostages run away?

i do appreciate the 7 separate hostage texts

mission 5
slight problem in continuity. in sun coyote's description he is a professor of anthropology, which makes more sense, but in the first mission he calls himself an archeologist, which makes less sense.

where did the keystone come from? i did not see the clue drop... from moment? maybe put that in the defeat text...

feedback
ok, this is an excellent story arc. i did not find much that i could say in the negative. you have a tight story, that expands into the COX canon, very well edited, and keeps the story going and elements together. great custom group too, though they did hit pretty hard, especially the LT's. i really enjoyed it all...

couple of things on my mind. namely filling the mission in with details. you have really nice, long clues in the beginning, i found that very helpful. i just dislike quiet missions. while further on it is understandable with the copper legion, they are meant to be silent. but with the COT and the traitors it can never hurt to add some dialogue text to the patrols for example. it does not have to apply to the story. stuff like "isn't this shift almost over?" kind of thing humanizes the story. i am pretty sure you have plenty of room left over since you have moderate number of customs and a handful of NPCs. extraneous detail never hurts either. the use of seven different hostages is exactly the type of thing that i appreciate. the two different patrols in the last mission too. if you could fit something like that in the first two missions that would be great.

but the most outstanding and glaringly unanswered question in my mind is... what is going on between "dr dave" and heather? are they making the angry mythical monster with two backs? come on... i bet if i turned my back they would be all over each other... i am sure they are crossing some student/teacher boundries here... there is a subtext going on here, i know it! enquiring minds want to know!

otherwise, nice job. i really enjoyed that arc. i am always glad to see someone that ties it all up in such a nice package. after reviewing a fair number of arcs you come to appreciate those those stand above the rest in simple story telling. i like the open ended nature of it all too.

if you would run my hero therapy arc, i just updated and added more content. it would be greatly appreciated.

by the way, you should continue with the videos. i think that one was great. i reviewed that arc too. i did not like it, but for different reasons. i did not have the troubles that you did. while i could hear the blinky, there are times that someone cannot hear such things. i hardly ever have the sound on, sometimes it might not be possible to use the sound. that map is a nightmare for kill alls and blinky hunts. mandu should not have berated you for not finding it. he should have admitted that there was a problem with the map and adjusted. while i had not read all the posts on this thread, i would hate to see it die out. it is a great idea and truthfully i wish you would do more than one a week. i would love to see mine played by someone else. seeing it through your eyes would be extremely helpful. if you had to quit on the first mission i would not blame you but try to figure out what i could do to prevent that. then i would ask you to try again.

keep going. i want to see my arc reviewed on video.

Arc Name: Return of the Three Fold King
Arc ID:163274

i ran this mission arc with the locksmith of love, my level 33 ILL/RAD controller, on heroic.

mission 1
is the professor a coward? does he have no powers? who is he? why should i trust him? especially if i am going to bring him an "item of power?"

found? by whom? if it has been sitting there long enough for you to put an ad in the times, why hasn't it been taken away?

is it mythology is you recover an actual artifact? lemuria is considered a myth, but if there is an actual artifact that is something different. then you are studying history...

i think it was a battle between COT and foot soldiers. the COT says... "oh great it is $name" this maybe a patrol triggering something too early...

foot soldier description says... "prove themselves to their dark gods, and they generals"

in the description of the depth lord is says he is after the mace too... what mace?

where did the clue come from? the depthlord? did he drop the runestone? was it in his pocket?

i counted at least three patrols, that i never met but saw their text. the text assumes that you meet the patrol, by using the $name. not once did i meet a patrol. they were all dead before i got to them... i saw one COT in the mission.

ah i see that i was right in not trusting him in the first place. why should i trust this guy and further help him? he has already proven himself untrustworthy? why should i countinue?

mission 2
i do not need to defeat the leader, but i have to go and defeat another boss anyways? why am i stealing it from the tuatha? why am i doing the dirty work for the contact? ah i see, for a clue... on the other leader.

but in the clue, why is he carrying the crumpled page from his own diary? or is it someone elses? the preist's...

but doesn't breaking the shield around the king sound kind of like releasing him? so, am i being played for the fool here? why am i helping this guy?

mission 3
i love how he says "we," when i have done all the work for him and he has not done a thing! he maybe powerless against the lemurians, but he could help. pick up a damn gun!

how do i know the combination to the safe? and why would the stone be mixed in with some files? kind of careless... for the legacy chain. what is it doing there in the first place? ah i see the safe combo clue now... but why would they tell you this and give you the stone? i guess i had time to stop and explain everything and to convince them to give me their combo.

your clue for the stone is very different than the exit mission pop up... and there is no punctuation at the end of the pop up...

mission 4
i am really getting sick of doing this guys dirty work. take out all the leaders for me while you are there, kind of thing. all while he "investigates..."

in the nav bar it says... "3 crate ," and also find the runestone... so why am i searching the crates again?

why does the arachnos negotiator say "Oh great its Locksmith of Love! I heard of them!" note the typos too. why not use $himher? that way you could get i have heard of him...

so am i to assume that either the statue or the amulet is the runestone? since they were in separate boxes and i did not notice which came first for the runstone... a bit confusing. niether clue really mentions a stone. though the statue seems to meet the exit pop up more. the contact talks about a stone? what stone? i have a statue and an amulet. and where is this mace mentioned in the first mission? what is the object that is not the runestone, niether of them seem very important or informative.

mission 5
"fate of the world?" i have yet to see anything that would convince me of this...why am i helping this guy?

after finishing 4 missions for this guy he still has not explained who the 3 fold king is, or why he is called that.

in the 3 fold king's description he it sas he has been studying for centuries but his death statement says he "just woke up..." which is it?

why was he searching for the runestones for himself anyways? why now? all he would need is one runestone, anyways, if that was his weakness...

the king came from the ether?

analysis
ok, you have an interesting story going on here and it has a lot of potential. i liked the custom toons. the custom groups were not that difficult on heroic, i hardly ever had a problem with them. not even the king. was he an EB? there was no EB warning if he was. i did not see many typos either, one or two here or there. though some of your sentences run on and need better punctuation. not my cup of tea, though... you need to do what i always do... hassle one of your friends to fully edit it for you. but anyways... the interesting story and the nice costumes do not make up for a lot of problems. i am glad i wrote everything down as i went along because i would have never been able to remember it all. you have many plot holes and loose ends.

the first problem is a big problem. you will start to see it in my comments right off. it is the primary motivation for doing all of this stuff in this arc. why am i helping this guy? why should i trust him? how do i know he is being straight shooter? he already admits decieving me after the first mission... so i am supposed to recover objects of power for a guy that starts out by decieving me? i know i supposedly answered his ad, but i would have walked away pretty much as soon as he said "i would go myself, but it is crawling with COT..." this has warning bells written all over it, i am pretty stupid to fall for a story of some guy claiming that there will be an invasion and the only way to help against this alledged bad guy is to recover four objects of power for him... and take out all of the contact's enemies while i am at it. all the while he is probably sipping tea and laughing at my foolishness. seriously. i have to be a pretty big sucker to fall for such a thing. it defies my common sense. you need some serious reworking on my primary motivation to make me do all this for some stranger. at least tell me that the guy from the midnighter club vouches for this otherwise crackpot. something needs to be done with this, because i was annoyed by the whole scenario for the whole arc. why am i doing this guy's dirty work? he did not even bother to betray me!

the next problem is your original justification. why is the king trying to recover the runes? why now? where is he coming from? why is it that he is always just a little bit too late? or am i too late? where is the contact getting all this information right now? if the contact knows where all these things were why did he not recover them before the lemurians get on the scene? yes it makes me go from one mission to the next, maybe with a sense of urgency... but it is all too convenient. he asks for someone to get this thing from a cave, just when i go the bad guys are there, about to walk off with it. it has been there for a while, why then? coincidence? so then the contact gets information for the next one, and surprise... the bad guys are already there! i go to the next place and who should happen to be there? it is all too coincidental, all too convenient. why now? why all at once? why are they trying to recover the stones anyways? why am i try to help this guy? how do i know he is not the bad guy here?

i don't know... i could go on and on, but i think that would be counterproductive. you have a good story, but these two problems that i brought up drove me crazy. there were a bunch of other things that i mentioned in my comments. i am sorry if this seems too negative, but i am not telling you throw out the baby with the bathwater. it just has some serious problems that you need to tighten up. i am not even sure the ending was very satisfying. it did not answer my questions, most of the ones that i asked up above. i had hoped it would all tie together in the end. it did not. if you did some heavy rebuilding of this mission i would be happy to run it again.

hey i could not decide where to post this. your first review thread is dead it seems and your follow up thread for your new arc id is empty. so i figured i would post here.

Arc Name: Return of the Three Fold King
Arc ID:163274

i ran this mission arc with the locksmith of love, my level 33 ILL/RAD controller, on heroic.

some observations and stuff that i saw as i played through your arc...

mission 1
is the professor a coward? does he have no powers? who is he? why should i trust him? especially if i am going to bring him an "item of power?"

found? by whom? if it has been sitting there long enough for you to put an ad in the times, why hasn't it been taken away?

is it mythology is you recover an actual artifact? lemuria is considered a myth, but if there is an actual artifact that is something different. then you are studying history...

i think it was a battle between COT and foot soldiers. the COT says... "oh great it is $name" this maybe a patrol triggering something too early...

foot soldier description says... "prove themselves to their dark gods, and they generals"

in the description of the depth lord is says he is after the mace too... what mace?

where did the clue come from? the depthlord? did he drop the runestone? was it in his pocket?

i counted at least three patrols, that i never met but saw their text. the text assumes that you meet the patrol, by using the $name. not once did i meet a patrol. they were all dead before i got to them... i saw one COT in the mission.

ah i see that i was right in not trusting him in the first place. why should i trust this guy and further help him? he has already proven himself untrustworthy? why should i countinue?

mission 2
i do not need to defeat the leader, but i have to go and defeat another boss anyways? why am i stealing it from the tuatha? why am i doing the dirty work for the contact? ah i see, for a clue... on the other leader.

but in the clue, why is he carrying the crumpled page from his own diary? or is it someone elses? the preist's...

but doesn't breaking the shield around the king sound kind of like releasing him? so, am i being played for the fool here? why am i helping this guy?

mission 3
i love how he says "we," when i have done all the work for him and he has not done a thing! he maybe powerless against the lemurians, but he could help. pick up a damn gun!

how do i know the combination to the safe? and why would the stone be mixed in with some files? kind of careless... for the legacy chain. what is it doing there in the first place? ah i see the safe combo clue now... but why would they tell you this and give you the stone? i guess i had time to stop and explain everything and to convince them to give me their combo.

your clue for the stone is very different than the exit mission pop up... and there is no punctuation at the end of the pop up...

mission 4
i am really getting sick of doing this guys dirty work. take out all the leaders for me while you are there, kind of thing. all while he "investigates..."

in the nav bar it says... "3 crate ," and also find the runestone... so why am i searching the crates again?

why does the arachnos negotiator say "Oh great its Locksmith of Love! I heard of them!" note the typos too. why not use $himher? that way you could get i have heard of him...

so am i to assume that either the statue or the amulet is the runestone? since they were in separate boxes and i did not notice which came first for the runstone... a bit confusing. niether clue really mentions a stone. though the statue seems to meet the exit pop up more. the contact talks about a stone? what stone? i have a statue and an amulet. and where is this mace mentioned in the first mission? what is the object that is not the runestone, niether of them seem very important or informative.

mission 5
"fate of the world?" i have yet to see anything that would convince me of this...why am i helping this guy?

after finishing 4 missions for this guy he still has not explained who the 3 fold king is, or why he is called that.

in the 3 fold king's description he it sas he has been studying for centuries but his death statement says he "just woke up..." which is it?

why was he searching for the runestones for himself anyways? why now? all he would need is one runestone, anyways, if that was his weakness...

the king came from the ether?

analysis
ok, you have an interesting story going on here and it has a lot of potential. i liked the custom toons. the custom groups were not that difficult on heroic, i hardly ever had a problem with them. not even the king. was he an EB? there was no EB warning if he was. i did not see many typos either, one or two here or there. though some of your sentences run on and need better punctuation. not my cup of tea, though... you need to do what i always do... hassle one of your friends to fully edit it for you. but anyways... the interesting story and the nice costumes do not make up for a lot of problems. i am glad i wrote everything down as i went along because i would have never been able to remember it all. you have many plot holes and loose ends.

the first problem is a big problem. you will start to see it in my comments right off. it is the primary motivation for doing all of this stuff in this arc. why am i helping this guy? why should i trust him? how do i know he is being straight shooter? he already admits decieving me after the first mission... so i am supposed to recover objects of power for a guy that starts out by decieving me? i know i supposedly answered his ad, but i would have walked away pretty much as soon as he said "i would go myself, but it is crawling with COT..." this has warning bells written all over it, i am pretty stupid to fall for a story of some guy claiming that there will be an invasion and the only way to help against this alledged bad guy is to recover four objects of power for him... and take out all of the contact's enemies while i am at it. all the while he is probably sipping tea and laughing at my foolishness. seriously. i have to be a pretty big sucker to fall for such a thing. it defies my common sense. you need some serious reworking on my primary motivation to make me do all this for some stranger. at least tell me that the guy from the midnighter club vouches for this otherwise crackpot. something needs to be done with this, because i was annoyed by the whole scenario for the whole arc. why am i doing this guy's dirty work? he did not even bother to betray me!

the next problem is your original justification. why is the king trying to recover the runes? why now? where is he coming from? why is it that he is always just a little bit too late? or am i too late? where is the contact getting all this information right now? if the contact knows where all these things were why did he not recover them before the lemurians get on the scene? yes it makes me go from one mission to the next, maybe with a sense of urgency... but it is all too convenient. he asks for someone to get this thing from a cave, just when i go the bad guys are there, about to walk off with it. it has been there for a while, why then? coincidence? so then the contact gets information for the next one, and surprise... the bad guys are already there! i go to the next place and who should happen to be there? it is all too coincidental, all too convenient. why now? why all at once? why are they trying to recover the stones anyways? why am i try to help this guy? how do i know he is not the bad guy here?

i don't know... i could go on and on, but i think that would be counterproductive. you have a good story, but these two problems that i brought up drove me crazy. there were a bunch of other things that i mentioned in my comments. i am sorry if this seems too negative, but i am not telling you throw out the baby with the bathwater. it just has some serious problems that you need to tighten up. i am not even sure the ending was very satisfying. it did not answer my questions, most of the ones that i asked up above. i had hoped it would all tie together in the end. it did not. if you did some heavy rebuilding of this mission i would be happy to run it again.

now after all that... i would ask you to review my Hero Therapy (TM) arc id:119228. if you want to review it and give me feedback i would appreciate it. if you want to make a video review of it that would be great. your choice.
Do YOU have nightmares about the Vahzilok? Can't sleep because you failed to defeat that Boss over and over again? Do you let your teammates down because you run away from Malta sappers? Do clowns make you have an anxiety attack? Try HERO Therapy (TM)! Start Today! 4 EASY sessions! (1EB,1AV)

Please give this arc a try... you probably need to. Only 5(!) easy payments! You will not regret it!

*Small print* Failure to complete this arc may result in impotence, baldness, general ridicule from children, a lessening of EXP earning potential, and an overall decline of self respect. For further details contact ridiculous girl. Money will not be refunded under any condition.

AH! it is code! *whips out notebook, scribbles furiously*

this is probably one of the most odd arc promotions i have seen so far. this is almost a non sequitur promotion. are you feeling ok?

are you looking for plays? feedback? what is this about? villainous? all levels? humorous? let us know... but use plain speak. because i am still scrathing my head over what VEAT is... just as long as it does not involve baby cows...

[ QUOTE ]
Just FYI if you're interested: I've done some fairly extensive rebalancing of the enemy group and so far have managed at least to complete the fourth mission (the only one we tried) with a team of three and no deaths. If you'd care to check it out, you can run the whole arc again or play Arc 193541, which is identical except in that it starts with the fourth mission for balance testing. Naturally I'll be taking that one down when I'm satisfied with it.

Of course I'll gladly repay any further feedback you can offer in kind.

[/ QUOTE ]

i would have no problem running it again. give me a few days and i will have revamped the hero therapy and you could run that again. i would probably run it with my lvl 33 scapper for change. or maybe my blaster...

i have read 1001 nights, though it was a few years ago and my brain is a sieve. i am pretty sure it was compilation of the burton translations. i am not familiar enough, and my memory is horrendous, with the stories to recall the specifics. but i like your use of the stories.

i am not going to go through and make point by point comments of your previous post. but when i thought about it i realized it would be difficult to adjust freeing the jinn in the first mission. my thought right at this moment is maybe make his first release accidental, and his second deliberate. meaning that you interrupted the COT in their dig and as you are searching one of the jars you find one that is unopened. it may or may not be the clue jar, but probably would be... just a thought.

yeah toning down the bad guys to standard would probably help a great deal. it is probably what you ended up doing. at the other end of the equation is removing just one custom. as i mentioned... removing one freed up 7% of space for me. which is an amazing amount of space when you are so used to shaving off a .05% here and there. you should give it some serious consideration. then if serafina ever makes an reappearance, you can make the switcheroo back.

regardless... it is a good arc and i am willing to give it a go again in a couple fo days. let me fiddle some more with mine and you can give that another run.

Arc #140298: Queen of the Jinn

i ran this arc with the queen of ful tribe, my level 50 mace/shield tank, on tenacious (challenge level 4).

a couple of observations and things that i noticed as i was playing.
mission 1
not really a complaint, but why is the clue jar different from all the others?
doesn't unleashing the djinn kind of go against common sense? not the smartest move, but i have to to complete the mission.
the jinni's clue says " but they would not hear my pleas. ot until you..."

mission 2
all the djinn have the same descriptions...
what are they doing in the midnight club?

mission 4
is there a reason that all the jinn are LTs?
is there another hero, or is it a wild goose chase?

mission 5
where is the jinn that i rescued twice? it would be nice to have help in this map...

well i really liked this arc. it is extremely well written, well paced, and has a good progression of events. given the precision of the editing given for the review of my arc i would have been very surprised if i found more than one or two oddball typos. i found one, listed above. it is very readable and creates a nice mythology incorporating other mythologies. the writer has excellent command of the story and it shows. i loved the selection of maps. i am still trying to figure out what the last map is since i have only seen it in one other arc and i love it.

there were several things that did pop up that i wondered about and that i feel detracted a little from the story. i will take them in the order that i encountered them or thought about them...

the first is the releasing of the jinn. this is one of those elements that goes against your common sense. i had hoped that i could complete the mission without having to destroy the container. alsa, i could not. mainly because since i have no idea what it contains and i know that when i do it i am literally letting the genie out of the bottle. just like in the last mission i had to open the one container, even though i knew that it would be trouble. but i had a choice there. the first time i had no choice but to do something that i knew was stupid. a lot of people would rather not do something that they would avoid otherwise. personally i think this is the weakest element in the whole story. was it really necessary to rescue him to drive the story?

the mission in the midnighter's club is interesting, but i really felt there was no real justification for it. i do not recall for any reason for them being there given. it is just a mission... you save percy, you get some information, but the why is never really answered. why are they there? to what end? is there a purpose that i missed?

in the 4th mission is were the field opened up and where i really encountered the jinn out in the open and in numbers. i ran this on tenacious where i would able to see larger groups of bad guys. i quickly found out how hard they were. why are they all LT's? this made it a lot more difficult in the first place. also the combinations of powers were lethal. even with my OWTS running anything more than 4 orange LT enemies i would have to start gobbling inspirations. with 6 enemies it was very hazardous. snowstorm, ice storm, steamy mist, crush, siphon power, etc... was a nightmare. with a large team i could easily see quick team wipes. i was playing a level 50 tank, i should be able to take some damage. but if i start having gobbling down greens with more than a small handful of bad guys i would have to start saying that they are overpowered. playing with a squishy would be terrible. i know you caution going with a solo toon, but you have to remember that probably a majority of your players will be solo. same thing in the last mission. once i started encountering the jinn princes, i would have to hit OWTS just to take one solo purple boss. it was a slugfest. if encountered a prince with anymore than one or two others, i died and fast. i ran when i saw that it was three bosses on the ambush, not something that a tank does very often. the final boss was not a problem, i took down though it took a while and after i had seperated her from her guards. she was fine, everything else was a bit on the strong side and in a team it would be a nightmare. you have a great story to tell and you want it to be challenging, but i think a little toning down would be a little necessary. make it too challenging, you will lose people despite it being a great story.

the last two comments are interelated. in the outdoor mission you mention that there might be one or two heros around. you do highlight the one, which may be a hint. but due to the difficulty of the bad guys i quickly started searching for the allies. i found one. i cannot remember off hand, but is serfafina available as an ally or is that your attempt to reproduce her? i was not sure because my memory was failing me at that point. she was not that helpful as an ally though, though that may be out of your control. unless she is your creation, then maybe you could up her powers. to make matters worse, that is such a huge map and it is difficult to find any other ally. if they are available that is... is there another ally? if not that is a pretty cruel move... because moving around with a moderate strength ally through a huge map filled with overpowered bad guys while looking for another ally that may or may not be there is a bit frustrating. i eventually gave up after one medium sweep through the map, trying to avoid groups any larger than 4. the boss went down with out too much trouble. which leads me to the next question... why not use the jinn that you save as an ally in the last map? he would have been most helpful going through that map. allies are always optional, but for me it would make sense for him to be there to help, just to repay helping him twice. he could more central a character, but as of now he is peripheral. i wonder why?

this is a great arc. i feel it could be better. you need to ask who your audience is. the difficulty of your custom group may reduce the number of playing and completions. it is a great story. but if it is too difficult not enough people are going to be able to appreciate it. i am not asking you to make it easy. i am just asking that you reconsider your choice of making all the custom group LTs and bosses. also make sure that they do not have so many mez/debuff powers. otherwise, nice job! i really enjoyed the story.

well, here is what i decided to do... i took out the boss custom toon from the little dream people group. as a solo player, you hardly ever saw it. i figured that it would not be missed, though i may change it to a minion and redo its powers since i liked the costume. by doing that i freed up a whole 7%!!! that allows me to go back and a lot more detail and probably more content. i started making changes, but i got distracted and will have to finish later. so all those things that i lamented not being able to do much because i did not have the space i am now returning to and fixing. thank you for all the feedback.

thank you for your detailed analysis of hero therapy, , it is alway greatly appreciated when someone takes this amount of time to write their thoughts out. i know it takes me a while...

before i address certain bits of your commentary and feedback, i will point to you the post i made just prior to this one, where i talk about lack of memory. i am bumping up at 100%, which is exactly what it says on the memory bar. i have no room to manuever. thus, in your recent play i ask you opinion as to whether i should remove the one custom group, the little dream people. it consists of on minion, one LT, and one boss. who knows how much space that would free up? i could creat another random group styled off the random encounters and populated with appropriate NPC for the levels. it is my best idea to solving the cieling that i am bumping my fuzzy head into constantly. what do you think?

I'd tone down the green text a bit. Coloring text is a good way to highlight key points, but when long passages of text are colored, it kind of defeats the purpose.

i changed that recently because someone asked for the highlights for people that do not like to read all the long body of text. unfortunately it does not have statements like "kil skuls..." so i found myself highlighting smaller blocks of texts. i am still ambivalent on the color too.

Are the parentheticals during the countdown spoken by the Therapist or simply telling me what's happening? I'm guessing it's the latter, in which case I would give it a different color rather than using parentheses (I'm partial to Sky Blue for that sort of thing, myself). This may be subjective, but I would spell out any numbers when presented as spoken dialogue; use "ten" instead of 10, etc. To me, when numbers are spelled out it reads more like a person is speaking and less like I'm reading a list.

these are both good ideas, i would be willing to incorporate those. but see above question as my answer for now.

TrollVahzilok Battle: I'd change "those guys" to either $name or $himher; when I'm soloing this (which most people would be, especially with a story like this), it doesn't make much sense to be referred to in the plural.

truthfully i had that initially but it was a bug where it said $name instead of the hero name. which was annoying... maybe i will check it again.

I'm noticing the Therapist doesn't use many contractions. Is this deliberate?

hahha never thought of that...

I'd also lengthen the activation time for both, to give the impression of contemplation. As it is, it feels like I'm jumping to these conclusions awfully fast! If you're worried about it becoming too tedious, you could reduce the number of glowies (May not be a bad idea in and of itself, actually; just how many promises have I broken, anyway? It's a wonder anyone likes me at all!)

good point with the timer, i will probably change that. the broken promises, etc, are things that accumulate over a lifetime. some may not seem significant, but they affect you in the same way. that is why i like the number of them. with your sound on, though you may choose to ignore them you will hear their buzzing and know that they are still there.

Why do the objects disappear after I click on them? The friendships and promises are still broken, and there's nothing in the text to suggest my contemplations have allowed me to forgive myself or forget about them. Quite the contrary, in fact.

this is a difficult issue to address. i am thinking psychologically... by interacting with them you are assuming responsibility for them and then releasing them. it could go either way really. but i like the idea that the space becomes clearer.

The Therapist: Have him say something when I come back after losing him so I know he's following me again.

again, i did, but removed that in sacrifice for inserting new text elsewhere.

I'd drop the "or their ego" clause in the first sentence. In psychology the "ego" is the part of you that mediates between the superego and the id; it has nothing to do with vanity.

true, but in modern parlance it is an equivalent idea. there is the technical term and there is the common idea of it... though i should probably not mix it with the therapist.

Lost Memory: Again, I like the symbolism. However, it'd be nice if we were offered some clue as to what the lost memory was. I'd say leave it vague enough to be open to interpretation to allow for differing character backgrounds, but there should be it should at least provide a general shape that I can fill. Maybe something like "You recover a forgotten memory about a hated childhood bully." Not too much detail, general enough that it could apply to anyone. Worded thusly, the bully could even have been the character himself. Obviously, this would mean you'd have to make each Lost Memory unique.

in the fourth mission i get a little more specific with some memories, but people get on me when i get too specific. again, htough i would love more detail, the memory is a problem.

Vanity: Her description is no longer appropriate in this mission (Same may be said of the Librarian in the previous one). You should change it to reflect the fact that she's now my ally, rather than an obstacle to be surmounted.

ah yes, that should be changed. but i put that in her description to save space, and at this time no alternative. are you starting to see a theme to my answers here?

Interestingly enough, I don't feel like any extra is needed for this one. Maybe because as the "main boss" and the ultimate focus of the mission, it should be something uniquely personal to the character, so any clarification at all would detract from that uniqueness. I think the appearance of the EB is enough to provide a vague hint as to the nature of my secret shame. In my case, it also helps that she looks a bit like a pre-teen version of my character.

creating her was interesting. i had the idea and she seemed the most neutral/archetypal character that i could come up with. somehow, anything else would not work as well. maybe i projected a little too much of myself in this...

This is more of an observation than anything else, but I find it interesting that the Therapist is encouraging me to explore my subconscious. It's generally considered that things go in your subconscious when they're too traumatic or disturbing to be consciously aware of and still be mentally healthy, so delving into your own subconscious could theoretically drive you insane. Hmmm... I think I just got an idea for a new villain. Anyway, that said, I don't know if there's anything in the text that should be changed based on that; just something that sort of popped in my head.

i think the delving into the subconcious works here because much of it is purely interactive and a decision made by the player. ultimately this seems to be a solo arc. the player is interacting with his/her mind and can do as much or as little as they please. old school psychotherapy would dive into the element of the subconscious and with the guidance of the therapist confront various aspect. the therapist here seems to belong to a more jungian school of therapy.

Love both the destructable negative memories and the collectible positive memories. It's like you somehow took my advice about the memories in the last mission and implemented it here! There's also something I really like about the idea of going into my own mind and violently obliterating all my unpleasant memories. Since the idea is to preserve the postivie memories, however, I would have them not disappear after being clicked.

good point. i might fix that.

Random Encounters: Just noticed this faction name. I'd change it to something a little more immersive. Something like "Dream Fragments", except less lame.

the random encounters group only appears in the last mission. i wanedt to add patrols in and made the group populated with random elements from the reflections enemy group. i chose them because they have a ghostly aura and also because they are a pretty diverse bunch of high level NPCs. the name comes from old school RPGs, actually i drew it recently from the "order of the stick" comic strip. i am thinking of creating other variations of this group for the lower levels, but i am afraid they will not work as well.

Turned out to be surprisingly challenging, even as an EB, and even with my own EB fighting beside me. Which made finally defeating him all the more satisfying.

i like the door a lot too. i had to tone him down a little in the powersets, but he is a good fight. not too many complaints with battling him. i have recieve more complaints with secret shame, but most from blasters. interestingly enough i get more complaints for the door from scrappers. what archetype did you use? i also like the uncertainty that he uses, in addition to his powers, too. he is probably my favorite creation.

Very well-written arc; I enjoyed the concept, symbolism and the "dream" quality of the missions very much. Great costume design on custom NPCs throughout. All in all, this is a quality piece of work!

this is my favorite one so far. i could always use some fine tuning. i appreciate the help.

good rule of thumb... if you have doubts, you are probably right. if you think people may object, they probably will.

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The Steel you Lack: I'd capitalize "You" in his name. Also consider adding some dialogue to the encounter. Maybe give the Outcasts a line. I realize that the ally himself is supposed to be silent, but it may help to drive the point home by having him say "...", rather than leave the player to think maybe you just didn't bother giving him any lines.


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Oh yeah, this is something I meant to mention in my own review, though for a slightly different reason. If he gets lost or stuck (which seems to happen relatively often in the Abandoned Hospital map in particular), he can't give the usual "Hey, come back and get me" line, so you might not notice his absence for a while.

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i know, i know... it has bothered me too. i am literally bumping up at 100.00% memory and so if i add even little ...'s i will go over unless i remove stuff from elsewhere. i am really really really tempted to remove the custom group, little dream people, there is only one minion, LT, and boss in that group and if i took them out it would free a lot of detail space. the little nightmares would remain. i am not sure... i am thinking as i run through that i encounter them so infrequently that most people probably would not notice the difference. this is why i have not been able to incorporate many changes lately. it is too jammed packed with stuff already. what is your opinion about getting rid of the custom group? i will keep the little nightmares and the random encounter, or some variant, but ditch the little dream people... i am looking for feedback with that idea...

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Hi Ridiculous Girl,

I've posted a comprehensive review in your thread for Hero Therapy! (TM).

If you could take a look at either of the arcs in my sig (I'm particularly hoping for feedback on Queen of the Jinn, but I'm not picky), it'd be much appreciated. Thanks!

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thank you for the review, it is always greatly appreciated. i will comment back there. i will probably do the queen of the jinn because it is newer, and i am assuming less plays. then i will post the review here and in your thread if you wish. i might be able to get to it today, though it is a beautiful day and is definately a beach day. maybe later...

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I just fixed the bad map, and was able to squeeze in a little more flavor text, including interaction bars.

I wish I could fit more character text in. The main ones lacking anything now are the Blackhorse Squadron regulars, though the Bosses each have individual text.

Did the Lobster Man give you much trouble? Appropriately difficult, not too hard? Did you fight him with Ashley's help?

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i hate to counsel this but... you would be amazed at how much space one custom toon takes up. maybe 5-6%? i had the same problem in one mission arc, but rearranged my toons a bit and took one out, that freed up 7%, which is a significant amount of space. it is worth considering.

i do not remember the shellfish causing me too much problems. i was playing on heroic, so that is no surprise. i did have the ally help. he did not go down too fast, but was not that difficult either. it was fine in my opinion.

it is fine, but i like the details that people blowing through miss. it is the AE missions that have detail that i appreciate the most. it is not always necessary, but it is icing on the cake. otherwise your mission is really good.

Ashley Porter and the Gorilla War, 130809

i ran this mission with tired of it ALL, my level 33 AR/DEV blaster, on heroic.

a couple of things that i saw as i ran this...

mission 1
no descriptions on any on the custom group.
when interacting with the metal drum no interaction bar text

mission 2
problem with your unique map. this happened to me too. if they the devs pulled that map then it would default to the first on the list. have a feeling that is what happened here since it is not an appropriate map for the story. i am pretty sure this mission has nothing to do with the portal corp or an alternate atlas park...

to make matters worse the clue was buried in the geometry. i was lucky to find it.

mission 3
no accept mission text only accept

alright.. this is a nice and perfectly random mission arc. that does not mean that it is not well written. it means that it is a well done and well scripted, though a bit ridiculous, story arc. i like random and ridiculous. i saw nothing in the way of spelling errors and such nonsense so this has obviously been thoroughly scrubbed. it makes full use of the holodeck concept, by way of being in a past time of history and not making use of time travel. which i have no problems at all. it is a bit different since most others try to make an appeal towards such themes, rather than just bypassing it all and presenting a story. i liked the use of maps and you had great costumes on your custom groups.

there was one major problem. you probably have not played this in a while, because i encounterd this same problem several weeks back. someone complained that a door on one of my maps did not work. the problem was that map was an outdoor map. it was the burning forest map, which the ddevs removed because it was problematic. by removing this map it did not invalidate the arc, it just defaulted to the first map in the list. it is some alternate altas map, that you access through portal corps. this obviously had nothing to do with the story. to make things worse, the blinky was buried in the geometry of one room. i could barely see a bit of it after i followed the sound in a noisy portal room. luckily i could get it and complete the mission. you will need to go back and replace your map. this does affect your story drastically and may affect people completing because this is a very large map too.

the other problem you have is lack of details. the first mission lacked any descriptions. this is probably due to your custom groups taking up most of your memory space and not being able to flesh out things. while you have a good story, little details make a world of difference. you have descriptions for your gorillas, thankfully. but little things like banging on the drum to end the first mission has no interaction text. a little detail like that adds a huge amount of character to a good story. it can make a good story great.

i really liked this story. it has a couple of problems, but i do not think that they are too big to ruin the story. nor would they take much time to correct. i like random, especially korean speaking lobsters. needs some work, but could be great.

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Doh! Yes, Pwnzinator is Pete, I guess I got his first name wrong in the bio. Gonna have to change that. The first mission clue also mentions both Pwnzinator and Peter Anderson.


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i figured that was the case. it just got me for a minute there.

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I think maybe I should change the nav text there to "find the backup assassin," make it clearer that you are in fact looking for a person. The fact that he seemed to fail to spawn....that is problematic. I'll have to test this some more, to see if this is one of those flukes (I have seen triggered boss objectives fail to spawn on other people's missions), or if it happens with any regularity. I haven't had anyone else complain about failure to complete. So you may have been hit by a random "failed to spawn" bug.

For the record, no you are not supposed to fail. That is why the timer is an hour, plenty of time to search the map. I did want to have a timer, to give it a sense of urgency, but still make it reasonable so as to make for better gameplay. And as for the size of the map...unfortunately it's the only map that is a recognizable part of Paragon City, allows the rescues and allies, and doesn't have a stupid meteor in the middle of it.

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yeah the problem with setting an actual timer where you can fail is that people can and will fail. you even put in the fail text in case of such an eventuality. you can do urgency without a timer. that way you would remove the possibility of complete failure as happened to me by fluke. an hour is a reasonable amount of time, but people can and will fail as i have so experienced. it is your arc and you can keep it that way. but you are going to get some pretty strong negative reacations if people fail completely, especially when it is not their fault.


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Edit: I have no idea why the Longbow ally would have followed you. I just checked, and he is still set to "Non-combat" and "do nothing," which in testing made him stay in one spot and alternate between the two "oooh, I'm hurt" animations.


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when i would leave her/him behind she would lie down and do the lost text. but if i came back she would get up and follow but do nothing. must be an ally bug. i am not on right now, but can you not make him a captive that just stays? or was it because of the text that he has that you choose to do it this way?

otherwise it was a great mission. good luck with it...

Name: Kung Fu on the Loose Arc ID: 77533

i played this arc with obvious girl, my MA/SR scrapper, on rugged and with the locksmith of love, my ILL/RAD controller, on heroic.

ok this is a great little kung fu arc. it is nice, simple and stright forward. if you are looking for a martial arts arc you got a good one going here. it is a little on the short side, but that is hardly a quibble.

i do not have much to say in the negative. one thing is that first map is a little buggy. the burning forest variant was pulled for several reasons. one of them was appearing and disappearing mobs. this map has it a little too. i had one occasion with a group appearing right in front of me out of nowhere. it was not much of a problem but it occasionally happens with a boss. the bad guys were a little difficult but not unfairly so. i liked the looks and the combinations. too bad i did not see any of the bosses. this would be a fun arc to play with a scrapper team.

otherwise it is a nice neat little arc and it was highly enjoyable to play with my MA/SR scrapper. i could not take the EB with her on rugged, so i reran it with my ILL/RAD troller and took him on heroic. i really enjoyed this arc. good luck with it.