TargetDummy

Baka.

Dark Empathy
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What if Empathy was about damaging the enemy with twisted versions of the powers we know? Some blasting, some debuffing. And yes, way too overpowered.

Damaging Aura - Damaging Aura is a PbAoE attack power that radiates from the dark empath.
PBAoE, Damage Moderate.

Hurt Other - Hurt Other is a single target attack power that requires line of sight to use. Single Target, Moderate Damage.

Cause Pain - Cause Pain is a single target attack power that requires line of sight to use. Single Target, Heavy damage. Minor Heal to self. Offset by making it an interuptable snipe.

Kill - Very short range, very long recharge, single target Extreme damage.

Cloud Mind - Single Target special, requires line of site. Disorient foe.

Cripple - Single target debuff . Line of sight to use, and greatly debuffs damage, accuracy and defense. This can be stacked with another Dark Empath's cripple, but not with your own. -DEF -ACC -DMG

Lethargic Aura - PBAoE debuff, affected foes have debuffed endurance recovery. -REC endurance.

Wasting Aura - The second PBAoE debuff. It doesnt cause damage but does reduce health recovery. -REC health.

Adrenalin Sap - Single Target ranged debuf. This power requires line of sight to use. It greatly reduces endurance recovery, health regeneration, and increases the recharge time of the target's powers.-REC health, -REC endurnace, -rate.

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Okay, I'm an honest writer (as in I write books). In TargetDummy's ramble, I noticed just a few things he had absolutely wrong that really should be looked at...

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I'm often absolutely wrong so I try to take it in stride.

Ok, let the honesty begin.

The first topic to discuss is structure in the most general sense. Specifically adding line breaks between your paragraphs. It takes no extra time to add them and doing so makes the story look more polished and easier to read.

As for the content itself, I felt it suffered most from lack of solid viewpoint.

“The beast sniffed the air; its eyes seeing the heat emanating from the walls of the underground cavern in which it and its kind lived. Its fears ablated(sp), the 10-foot tall, horned reptile returned to eating the treelike fungus growing from the rock.”

This certainly sounds like the beasts point of view after all Kel Nen is at that moment hiding around a corner from which he will later leap.

We then get lines such as, “In his mind he spoke to himself.”

Which is an internal dialog but delivered in the third person. Sometimes there is no viewpoint character, nobody whose eyes focus the action. Instead the author tells the story. That's called omniscient (all knowing) narration. The author narrates mentioning what this or that character may be feeling anytime the author pleases.

The trouble with using omniscient narration is that all the characters are kept at arms length. This tends to make the story less exciting to any reader since they never become involved with the characters.

A much better choice here would be first person viewpoint from Kel Nen's perspective and all in the present tense.

Next on the list is the often given advise, “Don't show, tell.”

There are several sentences of exposition that would read better as action.

We know what Kel Nen sees, hears, thinks (once) and does but what are not made of aware of is how Kel Nen feels.

From the story we can deduce that Kel Nen is a young man from a warrior culture that has rights of passage involving the slaying of predatory animals. What I can not deduce is what Kel Nen thinks and feels about anything that happens to him.

Without extra information the story is a blank slate into which many alternate Kel Nen clones can be forced each with vastly different and possibly even interesting motivations.

One can almost feel closer to the weapon than the man given the amount of time the author has devoted respectively to each.

“Kel Nen was not in good shape. His leg was wounded from a powerful and deep bite” This sounds like a serious leg wound yet between receiving it and describing it Kel Nen is able to perform some leaping without dificulty.

Spelling errors to correct include; ablate instead of abate, shreads instead of shreds, leapt should likely just be leaps.

Measurements such as the ten foot tall beast, the six foot shaft, and the five hundred pounds of the beast seem out of place in their detail. Is Kel Nen carrying a ruler? Perhaps you may want to drop the specific references and go with more subject ones.

That's all for now as it's getting late and my eyes are bluring but I hope you take the asked for advise in the spirit it was intended.

"That which does not kill us... "

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I have a level 33 blaster, Addy was yellow to me. It took lots of heal insps, and the monster hits hard, bring a friend.

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Adamastor was trivially easy, though a VERY long kill, as a 31 tanker. I had the support of an END-battery in the form of a empathy healer, which helped, but didn't appear to be necessary. Stamina is suffcient.

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Given most blasters glass jaws I would recommend taking an empathy with you also. But the main thing for dealing with him is just stay off the ground. His main attack is the foot stomp and if your airborn it wont hit you. If you dont have fly -

Woot! Must start work on my War Witch cosplay outfit...

...says the 6 ft, 275 pound man with scruffy beard.

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Maybe he's toying with us.

Maybe in 2 days, he'll start a thread:

"Special announcement! The special announcement is that last night I had pizza for dinner! Hahahahaha!"

Yeah, it's a trick I bet!

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Funny. How about:

Statesman: I have good news.
Forum Poster: There's going to be another invasion?
Statesman: No but I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance.

[Edit: Dang you, DaxionRai, beat me to it. Have a star.

Alternately, it could just be an overblow way of saying the servers will be down for maintenance in a few days.]

Glee... the only decision to make now is if I should be playing my highest level character or the one that has the most debt anyway (so a few dozen more deaths wont matter).

Tough call.