PoliceWoman

The Galactic Protectorate - 04 review
Arc ID: 269714
Keywords: Challenging, Custom Characters, Save the World
Morality: Neutral
Level range: 40-54
Warnings: AVs, EBs, custom power selections

The premise is to help alternate versions of CoH's signature heroes fight alien invaders. I played a level 40 elec/elec brute on +0 x1 (no AVs) difficulty. The contact is Ms. Liberty.

[5.0] points to start with.

Mission 1
Briefing: the contact does a quick catch-up on parts 1 through 3, then tells me she wants help rescuing Mynx and Swan. She wants me to check out an alien base, that she think might have some info about Swan.

[-0.1] Don't understand: This is obviously very important to Ms. Liberty; but if so, why isn't she doing it herself? She is, after all, a hero.

The map is full of plant-themed custom mobs in a "GP - Division 10" enemy group. They seem to have plant powers, thorns, and some empathy and poison.

[-0.01] Typo: "ensaring" -> "ensnaring" (Celestial Cultivator's description)

I overhear some mobs say:

[NPC] Cosmic Chimera: Have you heard about the secret lab under Rendezvous Point Wolfsbane? I heard it's really scary!

It's a little inconsistent for the Cosmic Chimera to say this, since its description describes it as non-intelligent. But this is pretty nitpicky and likely the result of random spawning, so I didn't mark off points for this.

I found "Solar-Powered Computer 2" and clicked it. For some reason this did not satisfy the "Find Solar-Powered Computer" objective, which seems odd. Instead it satisfies one of "3 Profiles to Find (Optional)" and gives me the "Profile - Eden: Statistics" clue.

[-0.1] Objectives: It's confusing that some solar-powered computers count towards "Find Solar-Powered Computer" and some don't. Also the contact never specifically asked us to find a solar-powered computer. It may make more sense to call this objective of "Find clue to Swan's location", which would solve both those problems.

[-0.01] Confusing: using "Eden" the name of a planet is easily confused with "Eden" the game zone.

Found Solar-Powered Computer 1 which again didn't count for "Find Solar-Powered Computer", but gave me "Profile - Eden: History". I liked that this explained what Lilans are (it seemed odd to me that natives of Eden weren't called something similar to their planetary name, so this helped).

Found Solar-Powered Computer 3 which again didn't count for "Find Solar-Powered Computer", but gave me "Profile - Eden: New Developments". This seems to imply that all Galactic Protectorate military on Earth are Lilans. I'm not sure this is consistent with the lore in the other Galactic Protectorate arcs (none of the other GP factions so far seemed so heavily plant-themed), but I'm trying to consider each part on its own, so didn't consider that a problem.

I like that there's a decent amount of dialog from the mobs in this mission, though a lot of it seemed a little trivial. General Adonis specifically picked out their outfits? Maybe this is meant to help establish General Adonis's personality somehow. Will see. Of course, not all dialog needs to be relevant to the plot; but it should either be fun or contribute to the story somehow.

Found Solar-Powered Computer (with no number) that did count for "Find Solar-Powered Computer" and gave me "General Adonis' Log: Swan".

[-0.01] Writing: this clue provides useful info, but is written in a style that I felt was a bit too obviously an info dump. I'd suggest trying to write it to sound more natural. (Somewhat nitpicky.)

Defeated the Base Commander and finished the mission.



[4.77] at end of mission 1.

Mission 2
Briefing: so now we're going to storm Rendezvous Point Wolfsbane with some of the human resistance.

[-0.01] Writing: not sure why Ms Liberty keeps saying "*Ahem*"; she makes this noise 4 times during the briefing and send-off. Not sure this adds anything.

[-0.01] Distracting: it was a nice gesture to rename the human resistance after the protagonist, but I confess I'm finding the constant repetition of "$name Freedom Fighters" a little distracting. It also makes me wonder if I should be giving Ms Liberty orders instead of the other way around.

[-0.1] Objectives: The mission is to rescue Swan, but I don't have a "Find Swan" objective or anything like that. Our best info is that Swan should be here, so the lack of a corresponding objective seems a spoiler.

Found and rescued Sister Psyche.

[-0.01] Naming: "Terrestrial Toxician" doesn't sound quite right; "Terrestrial" means pertaining to Earth, so wouldn't be a sensible adjective for an alien scientist, and "Toxician" isn't a word at all; should probably be "Toxicologist".

I end up losing Sister Psyche somewhere in the CoT caves, then I find my way into the Thorn Tree room. Found another Solar-Powered Computer where the Thorn Tree normally is, yielding the "General Adonis' Log" clue (note: may want to add another word to the name of this to match "General Adonis' Log: Swan" clue) which basically says Your Princess is in Another Castle.

[-0.01] Writing: "General Adonis' Log" is too obviously exposition; could stand to be written to sound a bit more natural.

Found and fought Col. Belladonna, which completed the mission.

[-0.1] Needs more content: felt like this mission needed more stuff in it. What are the aliens doing here, other than just waiting for us to attack? Belladonna talked about this place being some sort of alien botany lab; perhaps add some optional objectives representing lab equipment, scientists doing research, computers with research notes and stuff? That would make it feel more like a lab.

[4.53] at end of mission 2.

Mission 3
Briefing: another mission to rescue Swan, following up on the clue from General Adonis' Log. She continues to make "*ahem*" noises; this seems to be the way the story is portraying Ms Liberty, though I still think it is a rather distracting mannerism.

[-0.01] Don't understand: why does Manticore plan this operation and have Ms Liberty relay the plan to us? Ms Liberty is the one who has been pushing to rescue Swan all along.

[-0.1] Doesn't make sense: if Adonis needs a special plant from the Circle of Thorns, it seems like it would make a lot more sense if the plant he needed was the Thorn Tree (i.e. the map from mission 2) than whatever is in this generic forest.

[-0.1] Objectives: my goal here, as stated in the briefing, is to rescue Swan but none of the objectives presented (Meet Ms Liberty, Defeat General, Defeat Camellia) line up with that.



I found and rescued Ms Liberty, which did trigger a "Rescue Swan" objective.

There were a few Division 10 vs. CoT battles, but they ended pretty quickly; the Galactic Protectorate seemed to win every time (probably due to being custom mobs with good powers).

[-0.1] CoT seemed underused here. Would've liked to see more CoT presence here, perhaps giving them some dialog, have them protecting something or else not understanding why Adonis is attacking them for some random plant, and/or a named boss.

Found and fought Gen. Adonis, who was an EB for me.



Adonis rapidly floors my defense with plant attacks, which was kinda scary, but I manage to drain all his END with my electrical powers and defeat him with Ms Liberty's help. He gives me "A Red Rose" as a clue.

[+0.1] Characterization: Liked how Adonis was portrayed as obsessed with aesthetics; this fits well with the dialog from mission 1 that initially had me puzzled.

Found and rescued Swan.

[-0.01] Don't understand: why is it necessary to defeat Camellia at this point? Having rescued Swan and defeated the General, it seems like the mission should be a success at this point.

Teaming up with Ms Liberty and Swan to fight aliens while looking for Camellia is kind of neat, though.

Found and defeated Camellia, who spawned as a boss for me, but seemed tougher than normal (think she maybe had high levels of regen). This finished the mission.

[-0.1] Doesn't make sense: Camellia and several of the other Division 10 mobs were described as secret experiments of Col. Belladonna that were being hidden from Gen. Adonis. But Camellia and the other experimental plant hybrids all appear on the same map with Adonis? How can they possibly be kept a secret from him that way? Maybe Belladonna's secret experiments should be a separate enemy group that is used only in isolation, where Adonis wouldn't be able to learn of their existence.

Debriefing wraps up the story and hints at the plot of the next arc.

[4.21] at end of mission 3.

Overall
A fairly reasonable installment of the Galactic Protectorate storyline. I think people who liked previous installments of the story will like this one, too (and vice versa).

I do think the sub-arcs are getting a little formulaic (the formula appears to be: mission 1 learn some info, mission 2 defeat minor boss, mission 3 defeat big bad guy and rescue contact for next arc), giving them a certain sameness; I'm trying to grade each on its own merits so I didn't consider this in my scoring, but you may want to keep this in mind. I'm actually not sure whether having a formula is a plus or a minus for getting people to play all 6 arcs. The variation in theme of each GP Division does help though.

I think I would've liked more mission details in the middle mission; more stuff to do, maybe showing some of Col. Belladonna's work "in progress" in her secret lab. I also found it a bit strange that Gen. Adonis would be after some special CoT plant that was not the Thorn Tree; he was clearly after something, and I liked the bio-engineered red rose he surrendered.

Rounding 4.21 off, I gave this arc 4 stars.

----

My queue is now:

Gruntle - A Demon's Vengeance #47949 (V5-54)
Tubbius - Hammer and Sickle of Paragon City #351727 (H30-54) (already played, need to write up notes)
Mirror_Man - Galactic Protectorate 05 #304290 (N40-54)
StyrofoamKing - one of Save the Villain #364597 (N1-54), Shadow of the Red Death #367071 (H5-40), Betrayal in Rome #369445 (N35-54)
@Gypsy Rose - Suppression #374481 (H5-10)
Mirror_Man - Galactic Protectorate 06 #304290 (N40-54)
@Delightful Dolly - Sisterhood #123426 (H40-54)
@Peregrine Falcon - The Hidden Hand #374410 (H30-54) (assuming s/he plays one of my arcs)

My votes:

Best New Arc

#1: Drakule vs the Werewolf Bikers from Hell

#2: Breaking the Barrier (and Putting it Back Together Again)


Best Unknown Author

#1: @Celestial Nemesis

#2: @Arctic Princess

Breaking the Barrier (And Putting It Back Together) re-review
Arc ID: 347029
Keywords: Challenging, Complex Mechanics, Save the World
Morality: Heroic
Level range: 45-54
Warnings: EBs, custom powers

The premise is to stop portal technology from going wild and destroying the universe.

This is a re-review, so first I'm going to try and convert my earlier review into a numeric format. (The notes following are from my previous review.)

[5.0] at start.

Mission 1

[-0.1] Confusing: who are Iron Samurai and what are Nagans? Both are immediately mentioned in the briefing, but who they are is unclear from context.

[-0.1] Motivation: hearing about a random event on the police radio feels like a weak adventure hook.

[-0.01] Awkward phrasing: "Suddenly both of your police scanners go off at once" (briefing)

[-0.01] Typo: "liason" (Iron Samurai's description)

[-0.01] Awkward phrasing: "They seemed a bit surprised themselves to suddenly be here, as if the teleportation was not planned" (They Just Beamed In clue)

[-0.01] Awkward phrasing: "This portal and teleportation stuff is still pretty new to us so who knew what would happen?" (Suziku dialog)

[-0.01] Typo: "embarrasing" (Shikaku's dialog)

[-0.1] Needs explanation: "stolen during the Nagan raid on Portal Corp." (what raid?) Could use more background explanation for Nagans in general (for those who haven't played the prequel)

[4.65] at end of mission 1.

Mission 2

[-0.01] Hard to believe: another rift opens up right after closing the first (suspiciously coincidental)

[-0.01] Hard to believe: Portal Corp can track a single teleportation by the Nagans when thousands of players are teleporting around Paragon City every day?

[-0.01] Mission title: "Investigate the Nagan Lair" doesn't match briefing (investigating an endpoint of a teleport jump)

[+0.1] Liked use of optional objectives to make mission more dynamic.

[-0.01] Typo: "simulatenously" (Takala's description)

[4.71] at end of mission 2.

Mission 3

[-0.1] Don't undersand: why does contact ask me to check on Suziku's progress when he seems to already know what she's been doing?

[-0.01] Objectives: "Defeat Malta Commander" is a spoiler when you see it before you even see any Malta.

[+0.1] Characterization: Suziku is fun.

[-0.01] Phrasing: "her training a Roboticist" (Suziku's description)

[-0.01] Involvement: would be nice if "Research Data" clue said something about the content of the research data.

[-0.1] Debriefing is too short.

[4.58] at end of mission 3.

Mission 4

[-0.01] Exposition: shouldn't Suziku be telling how to fix the rift (maybe in "I can fix it!"), not Iron Samurai in his briefing?

[-0.01] Typo: "excusions"

[-0.1] Don't understand: how can you place emitters on "both sides" of the rift when multiple rifts are opening all over Paragon City?

[-0.1] Objectives: I was explicitly sent to meet Suziku, but she isn't in the objectives initially.

[-0.01] Awkward phrasing: "how to perform the startup checked on the emitters" (Startup Sequence clue)

[-0.01] Awkward phrasing: "make out some trace of a smile"

[-0.01] Anticlimactic: activating the 4 emitters has underwhelming results

[-0.1] Debriefing much too short.

[4.23] at end of mission 4.

Mission 5

[-0.01] Inconsistent: same devices sometimes called "stabilizers" and other times "emitters".

[-0.01] Don't understand: why did the devices in Paragon City not get activated until after the ones in the Shadow Shard? Seems like the Paragon City ones would've been easier to install by far.

[-0.1] Inconsistent: why does the Malta stabilizer interfere with the Portal Corp stabilizers? Briefing specifically states that multiple stabilizers were set up by Portal Corp. Why would one more set up at a remote location cause this kind of interference? (Feels contrived in order to further the plot.)

[-0.01] Inconsistent: Atlas robot is named "Fenric Nega Praetor 9-0"; this kind of Malta code name is reserved for human operatives normally.

[-0.1] Gameplay: Nagans are supposed to be allies, but some of them attacked me and Suziku.

[-0.1] Don't understand: What are Nagans doing here anyway? Even if they're here to help, how did they know to come here?

[-0.1] Anticlimactic: destroying Malta device didn't seem a dramatic enough ending.

[+0.1] Liked that this story leads up to Nagans cooperating with humans.

[-0.01] Typo: "ethusiastic" (debriefing)

[-0.01] Souvenir title "Formal Letter of Apology" strikes the wrong tone for what player should "take away" from this arc.

[3.88] at end of mission 5.

Overall

[-0.1] Random events plot: too much was driven by random chance.

[-0.1] Don't understand: Why were Malta involved in the story? What was their motivation?

[-0.01] Dangling plot thread: What happened to Shikaku anyway?

[3.67] overall.

----------------

Here follows notes from my re-review. I played a 50 AR/dev blaster heavily slotted with IO sets for +rchg and +hp.

[5.0] at start.

Mission 1

[FIXED] Confusing: who are Iron Samurai and what are Nagans? Both are immediately mentioned in the briefing, but who they are is unclear from context.

[-0.1] Motivation: hearing about a random event on the police radio feels like a weak adventure hook. (still present)

[FIXED] Awkward phrasing: "Suddenly both of your police scanners go off at once" (briefing)

[-0.01] NEW Typo: "your's" -> "your" (briefing)

[-0.01] Typo: "liasons" (Iron Samurai's description) (still present)

[-0.01] NEW Objectives: "Capture Any Nagans"; briefing has no info on Nagans present here, and at the start of the mission we only see Rularuu, how do we even know there are Nagans here to capture? (Perhaps it would make more sense to trigger these after rescuing Julie, who gives you the "Lizard People?" clue first hinting at the Nagan presence)

[-0.01] Awkward phrasing: "They seemed a bit surprised themselves to suddenly be here, as if the teleportation was not planned" (They Just Beamed In clue) (still present)

[-0.01] Awkward phrasing: "This portal and teleportation stuff is still pretty new to us so who knew what would happen?" (Suziku dialog) (still present)

[N/A] Typo: "embarrasing" (Shikaku's dialog) (didn't find Shikaku, maybe was cut)

[FIXED] Needs explanation: "stolen during the Nagan raid on Portal Corp." (what raid?) Could use more background explanation for Nagans in general (for those who haven't played the prequel)

Liked the new "Notes on Nagans" clue, found a minor typo:

[-0.01] NEW Typo: discrete -> discreet (in "Notes on Nagans")

[4.84] at end of mission 1.

Mission 2

[-0.01] Hard to believe: another rift opens up right after closing the first (suspiciously coincidental) (still present)

[N/A] Hard to believe: Portal Corp can track a single teleportation by the Nagans when thousands of players are teleporting around Paragon City every day? (mission hook is now detecting a portal instead of a teleport, which seems more believable to me.)

[FIXED] Mission title: "Investigate the Nagan Lair" doesn't match briefing (investigating an endpoint of a teleport jump) (now we are investigating a portal opening, so I buy that we immediately assume it's a Nagan Lair)

[+0.1] Liked use of optional objectives to make mission more dynamic.

[N/A] Typo: "simulatenously" (Takala's description) (Takala seems to have been replaced with another encounter with Suziku)

[4.93] at end of mission 2.

Mission 3

This mission seems completely rewritten, so disregarding my earlier notes on mission 3. Now I'm rescuing Nagans and getting some research data from Dr. Aeon in order to broker a deal with Suziku.

Mission entry popup mirrors my initial thoughts on this mission's premise, "Stealing is ok when it belongs to the bad guys, right?"

Rescued some Nagans (2 lieutenants and a minion) from Arachnos on the first level. One of their guards says:

[NPC] Fortunata: What do you want? Oh heck no, sieze her!

[-0.01] NEW Typo: sieze -> seize (in guard's dialog)

The 3 Nagans are pretty helpful allies, though I worry that the Radiologist, being a minion, is a bit fragile for the amount of aggro she draws. But maybe this is OK, it's not strictly required to keep her alive.

Found the fourth Nagan, the Nagan Shockfist, on the second level, where I also ran into Dr. Aeon. I liked that he used his trademark "Ah-ha-ha-ha!" laugh.

Dr. Aeon spawned as a claws EB for me, which made me immediately think he was just an Aeon clone; I like that "Dr. Aeon" confirms this when I defeat him. With 4 allies, "Aeon" wasn't a pushover but wasn't too hard, either.

Clicking a nearby computer gives me "Dr. Aeon's Research" and completes the mission. Regarding this clue, I like Suziku, but setting her up as a scientific rival to Dr. Aeon may be seen as Mary Sue-ish by some. (I didn't mark off any points for this, but others may feel differently.)

[4.92] at end of mission 3.

Mission 4

[FIXED] Exposition: shouldn't Suziku be telling how to fix the rift (maybe in "I can fix it!"), not Iron Samurai in his briefing? (premise of mission has changed, explained better now)

[N/A] Typo: "excusions" (no longer present)

[FIXED] Don't understand: how can you place emitters on "both sides" of the rift when multiple rifts are opening all over Paragon City? (now we're setting up a force field)

[FIXED] Objectives: I was explicitly sent to meet Suziku, but she isn't in the objectives initially. (now the briefing says to meet a Commander Jansen, who IS in the objectives initially)

Rescuing Jansen gives me the "Paragon City, we have a problem" clue, and a bunch of triggered objectives.

Beat up a hapless Skull, ran into a random superadine lab and phone booth as optional objectives. Rescued a Captive Student, Captive Scientist (I kind of would've expected the Captive Scientist to make some kind of scientific observation about the Rularuu upon being rescued), Captive Bum.

[+0.1] Liked the idea of a bunch of mundane stuff getting sucked into the portals by accident, I thought this was very fun.

Clicked the force field generator and got the "Force Field Activated" clue. Ran into some stray Longbow minions who were just standing around and didn't have any dialog; maybe leftovers from a battle.

[N/A] Awkward phrasing: "how to perform the startup checked on the emitters" (Startup Sequence clue) (this clue is no longer present)

[N/A] Awkward phrasing: "make out some trace of a smile" (this clue is no longer present)

[FIXED] Anticlimactic: activating the 4 emitters has underwhelming results (force field is still just a clicky, but it has a clue, and the addition of the Rifts to destroy and the people to save makes this mission feel more exciting)

[FIXED] Debriefing much too short.

[5.02] at end of mission 4.

Mission 5

This mission seems extensively rewritten, so discarding my previous comments. Now Portal Corp is under attack by Dr. Aeon and Arachnos forces.

[-0.01] NEW Continuity: briefing now mentions "We're about ready to activate the stabilizer emitter array", but didn't mission 4's stabilizer emitter array concept end up getting replaced by a force field generator? So not sure what this is. Maybe they have stabilizer emitters in addition to the force field generator? Reviewing my clues, I couldn't find any reference to this. Maybe I missed something? Felt it could use more explanation.

Found Iron Samurai, he triggered 4 Scientists to rescue and Defeat Dr. Aeon, while saying:

[NPC] Iron Samurai: Dr. Aeon is definitely here, we must find him and rescue any scientists he tries to take with him.

[-0.01] NEW Dialog: the above line feels a little stilted to me. Also, how do we know he's taking scientists with him? Suggest you reword to something like, "His goons were taking Portal scientists captive, we have to stop him!" or something similar.

Rescued Field Tech Suziku, who triggered "Activate the Dimensional Stabilizer Array" and gives me the "We're ready to go!" clue.

[-0.01] NEW Consistency: briefing talks about "Stabilizer Emitter Array" but mission objective and "We're ready to go!" clue both talk of a "Dimensional Stabilizer Array"; should use the same name.

Also rescued a Longbow Nullifier, a Nagan Archer, and a Nagan Psionicist, all optional allies that joined up as well.

Rescued some scientists. I liked this hostage's line:

[NPC] Doc Kryten: I am so sick of being captured, this job is not worth it!

The guards for the hostages and allies seem to imply Dr Aeon is here kidnapping all the portal scientists, both human and Nagan. This helps give Dr Aeon some motivation for this attack (initially I was puzzled as to why he would do this since Rularuu portals seem like they would be bad for him, too).

Found and fought Dr. Aeon?, a spines EB. With my small army of followers, we beat him up, though he's revealed to be a clone and we still have to Defeat Dr. Aeon.

Found the "Control Terminal" which activated the Dimensional Stabilizer Array. Nothing happened when I did this except that I completed one of the objectives, though.

[-0.1] NEW Anticlimactic: I really think something should happen when you click this glowy, since it's supposed to represent saving the world from Rularuu invasion. At the very least it should award a clue with some text that explains the results of activating the Dimensional Stabilizer Array.

Found the real "Dr. Aeon" (an energy blast EB). He has some good exposition about what he's doing here:

[NPC] Dr. Aeon: Take everything that you can, I want all their research data and equipment that we can carry. Grab and neutralize and Nagans you find, but bring Suziku to me unharmed. Her mind would be a terrible thing to waste.

I like this line because it explains what he's up to, but

[-0.01] NEW Typo: "neutralize and Nagans" -> "neutralize any Nagans" (in Dr. Aeon's dialog)

Defeating Dr. Aeon completed the mission.

[+0.1] Good finale: this final mission seemed much more dramatic and fun than previously.

[-0.01] Disappointing: having Dr. Aeon scripted to escape in the debriefing is a little disappointing (negating the value of having defeated him). (Only marked off -0.01 as it is somewhat understandable for the story to want to put its toys back where they were found.)

[-0.01] Typo: "ethusiastic" -> "enthusiastic" (in debriefing)

I do like the revised "Earth-Nagan Treaty, a Rough Draft" souvenir.

[4.96] at end of mission 5

Overall

[FIXED] Random events plot: too much was driven by random chance.

[FIXED] Don't understand: Why were Malta involved in the story? What was their motivation? (Malta replaced by Arachnos)

[N/A] Dangling plot thread: What happened to Shikaku anyway? (Shikaku removed)

This version of the story worked a lot better for me. I did like replacing the Malta antagonists with Dr. Aeon and Arachnos, and felt they had a much better motivation for getting involved. The last two missions seemed particularly improved, with lots more to do in each one.

Rounding 4.96 up, I gave this arc 5 stars on re-review.

----

My queue is now:

Mirror_Man - Galactic Protectorate 04 #269714 (N40-54)
Gruntle - A Demon's Vengeance #47949 (V5-54)
Tubbius - Hammer and Sickle of Paragon City #351727 (H30-54)
Mirror_Man - Galactic Protectorate 05 #304290 (N40-54)
StyrofoamKing - one of Save the Villain #364597 (N1-54), Shadow of the Red Death #367071 (H5-40), Betrayal in Rome #369445 (N35-54)
@Gypsy Rose - Suppression #374481 (H5-10)
Mirror_Man - Galactic Protectorate 06 #304290 (N40-54)

"MA Arc Finder" has been the best channel of this type that I've found.

Serpent's Scheme review
Arc ID: 363206
Keywords: Custom Characters, Non-Canon Story, Save the World
Morality: Heroic
Level range: 5-25
Warnings: custom power selections.

The premise is to stop a reptile cult. I played a 22 mace/shield brute (a villain, but in the right level range). The contact is an ordinary looking man in a casual shirt and pants.

[5.0] points to start.

Mission 1
Briefing: a facility is under attack by thugs, we don't know why. But we have to stop them.

[-0.1] Needs more writing: briefing is too short and doesn't give enough info. I'd suggest having the contact introduce himself, briefly describe who he's working for, and maybe give more details about the site and/or enemies. (Send off message does give a little more detail, but I still think the briefing needs more content.)

[-0.01] Typo: uonder -> under (in briefing)

[-0.01] Phrasing: "the sounds of people ransacking the chemicals" is an odd phrase; I really don't know how to imagine the sound of someone ransacking a chemical. Suggest you rephrase this.

The mission is filled with bad guys in a faction called "Naga", although they aren't human-headed snakes, they're some sort of cultists. They seem to have better than average perception as they aggro from some distance away; some look like they have SR toggles running, which could explain that.

Found a "Loose Chemicals" glowy that gave me the "Missing Chemical" clue. Two more glowies and clearing some mobs in the final room of the map completed the mission, giving me the "Snake hybrids?" clue.

[-0.1] No dialog: no one said anything during this entire mission, making the map seem awfully quiet and static.

[-0.1] Mission needs more content: considering this mission is the first introduction of the "Naga" custom group, I think you need more material here to establish who the Naga are, what they're like, why they're here, etc. (Dialog, clues, bosses, patrols, all can be useful to do this.)

[-0.1] Debriefing is too short: just barely over one line and not containing any real information. I'd expect to see a review of what occurred during the mission here, maybe with some conjectures as to the nature of the Naga and/or their motivation in stealing chemicals. Perhaps an explanation of what the stolen chemicals from "Missing Chemical" actually are?

[4.58] at end of mission 1.

Mission 2
Briefing: now the contact identifies the stolen chemical as "Chemical O" and wants me to track the thieves back to their hideout. This briefing still seems a little short to me (but at least it has some info in it).

[-0.1] Needs explanation: having mentioned Chemical O, the contact should really talk a little about what Chemical O is used for, and whether it's dangerous, to help motivate why we need to steal it back.

[-0.1] Continuity error: "You say they mentioned a serum" is stated in the send-off message, but actually, none of the Naga have ever said a word.

Found a "Stolen Chemicals" glowy that satisfied "Recover Chemicals" as an objective.

[-0.01] Inconsistent: chemicals glowy has a different graphic in this mission than in the last? Seems weird. Maybe this glowy should be a "Machine" instead of "Stolen Chemicals", then you still take the chemicals out of it.

[-0.1] Needs a clue: shouldn't we get a clue from the chemicals, describing the machine and what it uses the chemicals for?



Found and fought Priest Sskhet, who satisfied an objective and gave me the "Priestess's Note" clue.

Then I rescued Fredrik Johnson, who gave me "The cult's plan" as a clue.

[-0.01] Phrasing: Fredrik Johnson is called "Dr. Fredrik" in his description, but since his last name is Johnson, he should be "Dr. Johnson".

[4.26] at end of mission 2.

Mission 3
Briefing: the contact wants me to hunt down the person named in "Priestess's Note", who was on the team that invented Chemical O.

[-0.01] Don't understand: "If there are any would-be cultists there, you'll need to get them out, as well." (in send-off message) ... it seems very odd to want to rescue people who want to be cultists? This would make more sense if we're rescuing people who DON'T want to be cultists.

In the mission, the "new recruits" do express regret at trying to join, so it does make more sense to rescue them at that time; it still didn't make sense in the send-off message though, could use some rewording to be more clear.

[-0.01] Typo: "descision" -> "decision" (New Recruit's description)

Found Melissa Palmer, who seems to be a winged lizard.

[-0.01] Typo: reptillian -> reptilian (Melissa's description)

When I get close to her, she says:

[NPC] Melissa Palmer: Hmm... The meddling of Shield Maiden may have interrupted my theft of Chemical O, but soon, I will have everything I need to synthesize it myself! And if that fails, there is still the... other arrangements I made.

[-0.01] Grammar: "there is still the other arrangements" should be either "there are still the other arrangements" or "there is still the other arrangement"



Defeating Melissa and rescuing the third recruit completes the mission. At the end of the mission I have "They're Monsters!" and "Melissa's Computer" as clues. I think I got Melissa's Computer for mission completion (when rescuing a hostage), but maybe it would be more logical to get it from defeating Melissa. (not really a big deal, so didn't mark off points)

Also, all 3 "new recruit" hostages were identical in appearance and dialog; this isn't necessarily bad, but it can make a mission more fun if you mix them up a little and give them different things to say (if space permits).

[-0.1] Debriefing seems much too short (just a line and a half). He does at least comment on something we found in a clue. It still seems very short though, so I'd suggest adding some writing here.

[4.12] at end of mission 3.

Mission 4
Briefing: the contact wants me to recover a formula he thinks has been "sent to the facility".

[-0.01] Needs clarification: "traces of a file sent to that facility" seems very vague to me; it would seem more authentic if the briefing explained how the contact traced the file to "that facility" (maybe an email referenced it or something?) and what "that facility" actually is. (Kind of nitpicky so only marked off -0.01)

[-0.01] Punctuation: missing period at end of "Good Luck, $name" in send-off message.

[-0.01] Capitalization: "chemical O" should be "Chemical O" in the mission entry popup, to match the way it is capitalized everywhere else in the arc.

Interestingly, this map is full of snake mobs in a group called Infected Workers, instead of Naga.

[-0.01] Objectives: "Find a the formula!!" should be "Find the formula" (drop the 'a' and the exclamation points, since there is a comma right after this objective).

[-0.01] Objectives: "Capture the first head scientist, Capture the second head scientist" sounds quite awkward. I'd suggest accumulating these into "2 head scientists to capture" or something similar.

[-0.01] Typo: reptillian -> reptilian (in Infected Worker's description)

I like the various Mutant Researcher and Mutant Scientist spawns that look specifically placed to utter some dialog (well...animal noises anyway); they help make the mission feel a little more lively (which helps, because this lab seems incredibly huge).

Found Dr. Linda whose dialog suggests that she is transforming from human to lizard right before my eyes; this was actually kinda cool.



[+0.1] Neat dialog: Dr. Linda

Had to beat up Dr. Linda and also Dr. Johnson, then found a glowy labeled "Serum Formula". Clicking this glowy gave me the "Carlson's Call" clue, which actually confused me as I expected to get a clue that described the formula for the serum. I eventually decided it the story was trying to imply that Carlson called me as soon as I found the formula, but I felt this wasn't made clear enough.

[-0.1] Confusing: connection between Serum Formula glowy and Carlson's Call clue needs to be made clearer. Perhaps rename clue to "Serum Formula", then instead of having Carlson call the player, perhaps have the player realize on her own that the formula requires Chemical O.

Clicking the glowy also triggered a "Find Chemical O!" objective, which required me to backtrack extensively.

[-0.1] Gameplay: had to backtrack 3 full levels (i.e. took 3 elevators) from where I found the Serum Formula before I could find Chemical O.

Clicking the chemical glowy completed the mission, which kind of surprised me .... wasn't I still supposed to actually manufacture the antidote? Or is that meant to be implied? This did kind of leave me with a "That was it?" feeling.

[-0.1] Ending felt a bit anticlimactic. Basically finished the mission by clicking a glowy; it actually seemed to me that the fight with Melissa in mission 3 was more dramatic.

Debriefing: the antidote cures everyone except Melissa, who is immune to it for some reason, and according to the debriefing, we may never know why she did this.

[-0.1] Motivation: I think Melissa, as the big bad guy of the arc, needs a bit more motivation for why she started this whole plot. Once she was mostly turned into a lizard, sure, she would want to make everyone into a lizard...but why did she turn herself into a lizard in the first place? What would make her do that?

Pretty good souvenir.

[-0.01] Phrasing: "made off of some" -> "made off with some" (in souvenir)

[-0.01] Typo: "neccessary" -> "necessary" (in souvenir)

[3.74] at end of mission 4

Overall
This seems like a pretty good first attempt at a story arc; looking at the AE tool, this seems to be the author's only arc and had 0 plays so far. With that in mind, it's pretty decent.

That said, there are several places where I'd like to see more writing; several of the briefings and debriefings seemed much too short, and could use more story there. I think I'd like a little more dialog from the mobs in general, too; the first mission in particular was completely silent.

I liked the use of both required and non-required objectives in the final mission (though having to backtrack to find Chemical O was a drag; try to make it spawn nearby if you can), but the ending of the story needed a bit more punch (in my opinion); defeating Melissa (the big bad guy) feels more like it should be the ending to me. I wonder if you could swap missions 3 and 4; foiling the poison plot, then going after Melissa in her lair.

Rounding 3.74 up, I gave this arc 4 stars.

----

My queue is now:

Lazarus - Breaking the Barrier (And Putting it Back Together) #347029 (re-review) (H45-54)
Mirror_Man - Galactic Protectorate 04 #269714 (N40-54)
Gruntle - A Demon's Vengeance #47949 (V5-54)
Tubbius - Hammer and Sickle of Paragon City #351727 (H30-54)
Mirror_Man - Galactic Protectorate 05 #304290 (N40-54)
StyrofoamKing - one of Save the Villain #364597 (N1-54), Shadow of the Red Death #367071 (H5-40), Betrayal in Rome #369445 (N35-54)
<placeholder>
Mirror_Man - Galactic Protectorate 06 #304290 (N40-54)

2/10/2010

Monday

Started the night joining a contest for best "bio" in Atlas Park. I decided to bring Spacegirl (50 mind/rad controller) and her humorous origin story of a hyperspace traffic accident involving a collision between her dad's flying saucer and a Rikti battle cruiser. The contest took awhile (I'm sure a lot of reading by the judge was required) but Spacegirl was fortunate enough to take 2nd place and a 25M infl prize. If I remember correctly, first prize went to an angelic hero, and third prize to a cold-themed science hero.

Spent quite awhile fiddling with edits and testing of Two Tickets to Westerly, the AE arc I'm trying to polish up for Dr Aeon's Second Architect Challenge. I'm liking how this story has come out so far, and I think the gameplay seems to work OK despite how tricky it is to balance an AE arc for real lowbies (the contest requires the arc be level 5-10).

Played Thesia (21 grav/sonic controller) on a team running door missions in Talos Island; we did the Steel Canyon and Independence Port safeguards, as well as the Pwnz badge mission. Thesia got a costume compliment (I was worried that her costume was too plain, but I get a lot of people who say they think it looks very comic booky) as well as getting to level 23.

A friend invited me to a Citadel TF with mostly Whirligig players (2 blasters, 2 defenders, 3 controllers). I played Psychic Woman (32 rad/psy defender), who already had the badge but could use the exp. Finished in 1hr 12mins, got to level 33, and lucked into an Obliteration (ACC/DMG/RCHG/END) recipe drop.

Upon hitting level 33 I cashed in 260 of Psychic Woman's reward merits for random recipe rolls, receiving:

1 Lockdown (ACC/END/RCHG/HOLD) Wentw=1M
1 Trap of the Hunter (chance for lethal) Wentw=500K
1 Pacing of the Turtle (chance for -rchg) Wentw=125K
1 Sting of the Manticore (chance for toxic) Wentw=50K
1 Mako's Bite (ACC/END/RCHG) Wentw=2.6M
1 Devastation (DMG/RCHG) Wentw=1.2M
2 Obliteration (chance for smashing) Wentw=27.5M each
1 Touch of the Nictus (chance for negative) Wentw=150K
1 Aegis (END/RCHG) Wentw=250K
1 Touch of Death (ACC/DMG/END) Wentw=4.5M
1 Scirocco's Dervish (ACC/DMG/END) Wentw=5M
1 Gaussian's Synch FC (RCHG/END) Wentw=10M

This is an average of 309K infl/merit, which is a little above average; the Obliteration and Gaussian recipes were most of this value. It might actually be a better value to buy rare recipes directly with merits now, but I kinda like the lottery ticket feeling, I guess.


Tuesday

I got the Honorable veteran badge (63 months); this comes with the "Reveal" power, though I haven't really tried using it yet. Police Woman also got the Duelist day job badge (for being logged out at the Arena) and the Gladiator accolade.

Darla Doppler (50 kin/sonic defender) joined a Numina TF which was a mix of friends and pickup people (3 blasters, 1 controller, 2 scrappers, 2 defenders); finished in 52m 15s without any problems and got Darla the Task Force Commander accolade.

The same team (except for one player who was replaced) went on to do an ITF. First mission went fine, then the leader (our "point" scrapper) had to quit the TF to help his mother (who apparently got her car stuck in the heavy snow in RL). Losing our point scrapper actually caused our TF to slow down a lot; the other scrapper gamely tried to take the point position, but was a 30s shield scrapper so had trouble standing up to the Cimerorans (who, with their DEF debuffs, are quite mean) and got smashed flat a lot. The player who inherited the star seemed AFK a lot and was another kin who would only SB if asked (for some reason this particularly annoys me when I'm playing a kin and SBing the whole team). It felt like we progressed through missions 2 and 3 quite slowly, even having a near-wipeout against the Phalanx computer in mission 3, except for 2 blasters who managed to take down the computer while everyone else was dead. Nevertheless we finished in 1hr 1min and got Darla to level 36.

After that I did yet another ITF, playing Millie Volt (38 elec/elec brute) with a mostly Whirligig team that cleared all. Finished in 47m 17s and got Millie to level 39. I went on to solo Millie through the first Scratch mission in Pocket D; she'll probably need to link up with a hero sometime to finish the Valentine missions.

Finished the night soloing Olivia Q (50 MA/SR scrapper) through Galactic Protectorate - 03, a sequel in a series of AE arcs about fighting an alien occupation of the Earth. This part kinda rubbed me the wrong way by making me part of a military attack on a hospital (a war crime; would be fine for a villainous arc, but uncool for a hero) and the custom mobs had a few too many annoying powers. Ended up rating it 3 stars.

The Galactic Protectorate - 03 review
Arc ID: 174352
Keywords: Challenging, Custom Characters, Save the World
Morality: Neutral
Level range: 40-54
Warnings: AVs, EBs, custom power selections.

The premise is to help an alternate dimension Sister Psyche battle against alien invaders. I played a 50 MA/SR scrapper with heavy IO slotting and capped defense to all positions. The contact is a version of Sister Psyche.

[5.0] points to start with.

[-0.01] Typo: "Sister Pysche" -> "Sister Psyche" (in contact description)

Mission 1
Briefing: the contact catches me up with the story thus far, though she seems a bit exasperated that Manticore is insisting that she ask for my help. It sounds like the contact wants me to participate in a military attack on a hospital? Hospitals are not legitimate military targets, so this seems morally questionable; I believe it may actually be a war crime. The arc is labeled neutral, but the contact is clearly a hero, so this doesn't quite work for me.

[-0.1] Out of character: Sister Psyche ordering a military attack on a hospital. (Certainly some of the more pragmatic heroes and most villains would be fine doing this; it doesn't seem like Sister Psyche would.) You might consider using a more evil (or at least shades-of-grey) contact, or else changing the type of mission.

[-0.1] Diminishes the player: the briefing and send-off messages appear to have the contact sarcastically mocking the player's involvement in the story. She even says she wouldn't trust the player to do this, if it weren't for the fact that Manticore insists. While sometimes this can make sense for a contact who doesn't trust the player initially, the briefing establishes that the player has just rescued Sister Psyche (in the back story), so this seems particularly ungrateful. I'd suggest rewording the text to be a little more friendly; otherwise, with not much invested so far, it'd be awfully easy to turn off a player from playing the arc at this point.

Inside the mission, this map is filled with "GP - Division 11" custom characters.

[-0.5] Game balance: all the mobs (including minions) in Division 11 appear to be either devices, empathy or pain dom, and there's a large percentage of them that are some flavor of mastermind. This feels overpowered. It was not uncommon for me to be fighting 5 mobs that were ALL web grenading me at once. I also several times ran into groups of MMs who kept healing each other. I'd suggest reducing the amount of devices, empathy/pain dom, and pets; perhaps reserve these powers for lieutenant rank and above and making the minions more cannon fodder-like.

I quickly find a "Medical Mainframe" whose guards exposition that if the mainframe is destroyed, patients will die; then they attack me when I get in sight. I guess this is meant to set me up to commit war crimes. I decide to just walk past the mainframe and its guards, not destroying it, to see if I can.

[-0.01] Doesn't make sense: Meteorstorm Medic's background info refers to "Colonel Mojave" and "General Sahara" ... why would aliens have officers named after deserts on Earth?

Past the mainframe I find Nurse Rosenmiden, a hostage belonging to a group called "Protectorate Sympathizers". She has dialog actively expressing that she doesn't want to be rescued, because she has patients that need her. I end up trying to rescue her anyway, fighting her guards and an ambush.

[-0.01] Objectives: "Escort Physician" (triggered after rescuing Nurse) is rather ambiguous; suggest you clarify this to be "Escort Physician to the door" (or something similar).

Getting Rosenmiden to the door gives me "Nurse Rosenmiden's Warning" as a clue, further implying that the people I'm working for are actually the bad guys.

[-0.01] Doesn't make sense: Stardust Specialist is a mercenaries MM and her description says she works with less talented recruits. But her pets look very human, and not alien at all. (Sorta nitpicky so only marked off -0.01) Perhaps instead of using "less talented recruits" she could be in charge of human collaborators or something.

Found and "rescued" Doctor Kismadyte, who also made it clear she didn't want to be rescued. Starting to think I should've played a villain for this arc. She gives me "Doctor Kismadyte's Tale" as a clue.

Rescued also Doctor Regios; before leading Regios to the door, I found and fought the Base Commander.



The Base Commander berated me for attacking a hospital. Unfortunately, he is right, this is a pretty despicable act. The story arc pretty much forces me into doing this unless I simply quit the arc, though.

[-0.5] Plot problem: even after it is abundantly clear that completing this mission is the wrong action, the story arc forces the player into continuing to perform actions that she knows are wrong; the only alternative is to quit the arc (which is probably not the intent).

Escorting Regios to the door gives me "Doctor Regios' Story" as a clue and completes the mission.

Debriefing: the contact is exasperated at the behavior of the rescued doctors and continues to be portrayed unsympathetically. Getting the feeling that the contact is actually closer to Mother Mayhem than Sister Psyche.

[3.76] at end of mission 1.

Mission 2
Briefing: the contact wants me to destroy a base and defeat a general (if present...otherwise look for info) that she learned about by questioning the captured physicians.

[-0.01] Objectives: The fact that I have "Find Computer" instead of "Defeat General" as my objective seems an immediate spoiler indicating that the general isn't here.

I pretty quickly find Manticore and rescue him from some GP guards. I end up leaving him behind in order to just run deeper into the base to find the other objectives.

Found and defeated Col. Gobi and Col. Mojave, then backtracked a bit and found the computer, which gave me "General Sahara's Log Entry" as a clue, hinting that General Sahara is leading a new offensive against the humans.

Debriefing: the contact is concerned at the reports of this counterattack and starts sending out alerts.

[3.75] at end of mission 2.

Mission 3
Briefing: General Sahara has been located and I'm sent to take her down, with help from Sister Psyche herself.

[-0.01] Phrasing: "she has an entire enemy squad with her" ... a squad is actually only like 8 to 10 people, so this isn't as formidable a force as the briefing is trying to imply. Suggest you replace squad with a larger unit, like battalion, regiment...or even division, seeing as General Sahara is a division commander according to the story.

I soon locate Sister Psyche and free her from some GP - Division 11. This triggers a "Rescue Ms. Liberty" objective. You might consider adding a clue explaining Sister Psyche senses Ms. Liberty, in case a player on the team was not close enough to hear Sister Psyche's dialog. (Not strictly required though.)

Shortly after that I find Gen. Sahara; Sister Psyche and I rapidly defeat Sahara despite multiple ambushes.

Leaving Sister Psyche behind, I search the map for Ms. Liberty.

[-0.1] Gameplay: Large outdoor map with few objectives on it, resulting in some tedious searching; I'd suggest adding more stuff to the map (maybe more low ranked resistance fighters or GP - Division 11) or using a smaller map.

I found Ms. Liberty and rescued her, and she says things like:



[NPC] Ms. Liberty: Sister Psyche?! Boy, am I glad to see you! *Ahem* I mean, I'm here to assist you in this battle!
[NPC] Ms. Liberty: And here I thought I'D be the one saving YOU! Hey, who's your new friend? *Ahem* I mean, new ally?

[-0.1] Doesn't make sense: I actually left Sister Psyche behind, so having Ms. Liberty talk to Sister Psyche when I rescue her doesn't really work. The same could happen if Sister Psyche gets killed before I find Ms. Liberty. Consider rephrasing her dialog so she talks to the player, or otherwise still makes sense even if Sister Psyche is not present.

Rescuing Ms. Liberty ended the mission.

[-0.1] Needs more writing: Ms. Liberty appears out of nowhere (she is never mentioned before this mission) and explains nothing after she is rescued. Her background info and dialog hint a little at why she is here, but there really needs to be more. I'd recommend inserting some foreshadowing of Ms. Liberty's presence (perhaps as clues or dialog before she is found) and when you rescue her, have her award a clue that explains her story.

Debriefing: at the end of the arc, I've finally won the contact's trust. I still think this doesn't quite work, though, because the player has already rescued the contact and defeated an enemy general, even before the first mission; so why wouldn't Sister Psyche have already been impressed by that? The events in the final mission of this arc are not any more impressive than what happened before.

[-0.1] Dangling plot thread: Nothing ever came of the hospital doctors subplot, where we basically were committing a war crime, the doctors had good reasons for what they were doing, and yet Sister Psyche treated them all like traitors. I think this subplot needs more closure.

When Ms. Liberty appeared by surprise, I half expected her to be a messenger from Statesman telling the rest of the Freedom Phalanx that they've lost their way, and to stop what they're doing; then Sister Psyche would betray and I'd have to fight her or something. Nothing nearly so dramatic occurred, though; it seemed more like we rescued Ms. Liberty by accident (I guess to set up the contact for the next arc).

[3.34] at end of mission 3.

Overall
I felt quite uneasy with the way the arc started. I knew attacking the hospital was wrong, and the story appears to recognize this (which I like) but it also forces you to do it anyway, even after it's very obvious that it's a wrong action (which I don't like).

Sister Psyche was characterized as very hardline and unsympathetic, which felt out of character to me.

The Division 11 mobs were very heavy on web grenade, healing, and mastermind pets to me, which made them both too hard and somewhat annoying (since you get slowed/immob'd a lot and a lot of your damage is rendered meaningless by heals and/or pets).

The final mission felt a little anticlimactic; most of the time is spent searching the large outdoor map for the few objectives.

Rounded the 3.34 score to 3 stars. Hope you think that's fair!

----

My queue is now:

Dsarvess Rientel - Serpent's Scheme #363206 (H5-25)
Lazarus - Breaking the Barrier (And Putting it Back Together) #347029 (re-review) (H45-54)
Mirror_Man - Galactic Protectorate 04 #269714 (N40-54)
Gruntle - A Demon's Vengeance #47949 (V5-54)
Tubbius - Hammer and Sickle of Paragon City #351727 (H30-54)
Mirror_Man - Galactic Protectorate 05 #304290 (N40-54)
StyrofoamKing - one of Save the Villain #364597 (N1-54), Shadow of the Red Death #367071 (H5-40), Betrayal in Rome #369445 (N35-54)
<placeholder>
Mirror_Man - Galactic Protectorate 06 #304290 (N40-54)

Changes made:

* Contact is now explicitly named Nadya. Her contact group is now Skulls Girlfriend.

* Added "Magic" keyword, making it now Solo Friendly, Magic, Romance.

* Extensive rewrite to mission 4 briefing and send-off messages to make it clearer that the player is worried that the depowered Roy is going to get himself killed, and the player won't allow that.

* Cut Toothbreaker Jones from mission 4. Moved Marrowsnap in mission 4 to a "front" spawn. (Both motivated by WN's comment that the final room was too crowded.)

* Changed all missions from "Staggered" to "Flat" spawning. (To address uneven spawn levels problem. Thinking about it, +1/-1 level is a much bigger swing at level 5 than at, say, level 40.)

* Changed mission 3's accept message to "Don't give up yet, Nadya. Maybe I can help." (Rewrote to be more sympathetic to Nadya's reaction to mission 2.)

* Slightly rephrased mission 3's busy message; got rid of extraneous $origin reference.

* Put both optional hostages in mission 3 into the "Missing Person" group (formerly was using their default captive group, whatever that was). Also added "You've rescued a missing person!" to each one as "Release Captive Completed Text" (at Tangler's suggestion). Also changed Janet's model to avoid the weird mob rank problem.

* Changed Nadya in mission 4 to be a noncombat ally instead of a hostage (so she will follow now, instead of running away).

* Rewrote Roy and Nadya's biographies to be more distinct from each other. Roy's now talks more about why he got into the Skulls and what he's doing to get out. Nadya-the-contact has the same bio as before, while Nadya-the-hostage has some info about how she got captured and reinforcing some of the story learned in the mission 3 clue.

* Rewrote Tzompantli's biography to reduce possibility for confusion with Nadya's back story.

* Reduced some of Joe's fantasy RPG references; he no longer calls for a cleric when injured, no longer gets called chaotic evil in a clue.

* Corrected punctuation: King's Row -> Kings Row (in every place I could find)



Thanks a ton for all the helpful feedback so far!

I confess I'm not that big a fan of Statesman, partly due to his portrayal in the comic book and partly because the dev of the same name jumped ship to make a competing game. I think he's actually mostly depicted as being a nice guy in game though....I mean, who wouldn't want to be Statesman's Pal?

I do make use of Statesman in one arc, Axis and Allies, where he's an obstacle to the protagonist's global conquest. I could not use the "real" Statesman AV, though, because that guy is just too darn powerful. I ended up making up a custom mob to be a faux Statesman, and pretending costume differences are purely due to the different time period.

Statesman also gets a couple throwaway references (but no actual appearances) in Teen Phalanx Forever!, as having put Coyote in charge of the teens, and being the mentor to "Statesboy", a background character who never actually appears on camera.

If anyone, Sister Psyche is the signature hero that I overuse the most in my story arcs. I feel like she has such a distinctive look, and close ties to so many other known heroes. Plus she has that whole "eternal" thing going where there's a version of Sister Psyche in every timeline and every dimension.

In my (initial) attempt at Dr. Aeon's Second Architect Challenge, I actually didn't consider using Statesman or any of the other high profile heroes, mostly because my concept was a much more street-level adventure, to match the specified 5-10 level range. I could see why other people might want to, since those heroes have so much more name recognition, but that wasn't the way I decided to go.

2/8/2010

Thu 2/4

Played Indigo Ifrit (50 fire/rad corruptor) on a clear-most ITF formed on LB (49m 28s).

Wielded my mod powers on LB for the first time; a couple players were having an extensive discussion about farting and pooping on LB, which I just didn't think was appropriate subject matter. I gave a verbal warning, which one person heeded and the other one did not, so I silenced the one who kept on about it. After about 10 seconds I unsilenced him again, but then he started spamming the LB channel with "poop" messages, which made me and another mod both silence him again. This was kind of awkward because it was a guy I normally like, but he was throwing a serious tantrum and I didn't see anything else I could do and still pretend to be a moderator.

Solo'd Olivia Q (50 MA/SR scrapper) through an AE arc called The Alien Tyrant, a sequel to another arc where aliens invade the earth; in this story you go to the alien homeworld and overthrow their evil emperor. It was pretty good but needed a little more material in the middle missions, I thought; I gave it 4 stars.


Fri 2/5

Played Mega (50 SS/WP brute) on a speed ITF (24m 27s), then Yuki-Onna (50 ice/cold corr) on a speed LGTF (23m 59s).

Played Thesia (17 grav/sonic controller) on a Synapse TF of mostly Whirligig players, with a team of 3 controllers (fire/kin, fire/emp, grav/sonic), 1 defender (rad/ice), 2 blasters (arch/?, rad/nrg), 1 scrapper (?/shield). Our team was heavy on support and debuff, and was able to beat Babbage without any outside help, and finished the TF in 1hr 42m. This got Thesia to level 21. Though we had speed boost on this team, it still seemed like a good idea to take Stamina at level 20.

After that I played Police Woman (50 AR/dev blaster) on a Statesman TF of mostly Whirligig, with a team of 1 defender (cold/?), 3 controllers (ill/rad, ill/emp, ?/rad), 3 blasters, 1 scrapper. Seemed weird to be doing this without a tanker (most STFs I had done recently had 2 tankers, which I also thought was weird initially) but the controllers felt confident that Phantom Army could handle it. Did fine up to the last mission, where we tried having Phantom Army tank Lord Recluse; this worked most of the time, but there was some downtime where no PA was up and Lord Recluse would run hog wild. We ended up zerging down the towers (hospitalling and rushing back a few times) which was messy but ended up working. Finished in 1hr 1min and I got a Centriole SHO.

Darla Doppler (34 kin/sonic defender) solo'd through Kelly Nemmers' story arc in Croatoa for 7 merits.

Blond Justice (50 bs/shield scrapper) joined an Abandoned Sewer trial with 5 scrappers, 1 blaster, 1 shield tanker, 1 rad controller. It's been a long time since I've done this trial; I remember when it used to be a favorite PLing tool. We split up into 4 teams to take down the shield generators; this seemed effective and we finished in 33m 41s. Not bad for 29 merits.


Sat 2/6

Kyrie Eleison (33 fire/regen scrapper) joined a Moonfire TF (3 defenders, 2 controllers, 2 scrappers, 1 blaster); finished in 53m 47s, no serious problems, got some badges (unlocking the Atlas Medallion accolade) and hit level 34.

Darla Doppler (34 kin/sonic defender) duo'd with a brute through an AE arc called Drakule vs. The Werewolf Bikers from Hell. This was a hilarious send-up of Underworld, World of Darkness and that whole genre of stories. I had a great time and gave it 5 stars.

Strong Woman (47 inv/SS tanker) joined a defeat-most ITF (52m 22s) that got her to level 48.


Sun 2/7

Darla Doppler (34 kin/sonic defender) did an Ouro flashback of the fortune teller mission for 1 merit and the Spelunker badge, to get the Atlas Medallion accolade. Then I exemplared to a level 9 Hollows team that was recruiting on LB, and had fun speed boosting them through lowbie missions. Somehow they were still running out of END; I tried telling them that turning Sprint off in combat would be a good idea. Our empath also claimed that her keeping Healing Aura on autofire was hard on her END bar; I tried telling her that maybe healing when needed would be better, but got told that "healing on auto is best for big teams", to my amusement. Despite these hijinks, I still really like pickup Hollows teams..... it's CoH in its purest form. This also got Darla to level 35, where I took Vengeance as my new power. Because Vengeance makes bad teams good.

I wielded my tyrannical mod powers on LB again, this time warning and then silencing someone for excessive sex talk. I'm not a prude, really I'm not, but lengthy discussion of underaged people having sex is over the line, IMHO. After 10 seconds I unsilenced him again; he seemed to have no ill feelings over it. Though my offender from Thursday just had to say "poop" on LB just to try and needle me; I knew he was just trying to get my goat, so I turned a blind eye to it.

Thunder Girl (50 elec/SR scrapper) did a clear-all ITF with Whirligig (52m 40s).

Police Woman (50 AR/dev blsater) did a clear-most STF with Whirligig (3 blasters, 4 controllers, 1 defender). We ended up using Phantom Army to tank again, but this time it went much more smoothly; Lord Recluse was dazzled by the PAs the whole time and never bothered the team. Finished in 1hr 9min and got another Centriole SHO.

Indigo Ifrit (50 fire/rad corruptor) did a speed ITF; we had a team wipe in mission 2, not really quite sure why (OK, we were split up and all over the map, but that's not abnormal for a speed ITF), but after hospitalling and returning we still finished in 25m 59s.

Kyrie Eleison (34 fire/regen scrapper) joined a speed Hess TF (5 scrappers, 2 emp defenders), finished in 33m 11s.

I also spent some extensive time writing, testing and finally publishing a new AE story arc, Two Tickets to Westerly (arc id 374002), a low level story arc where a Skulls girlfriend asks you to help find her boyfriend, who has gone missing after trying to leave the Skulls gang. It's my attempt at Dr. Aeon's Second Architect Challenge, which requires you to write a level 5-10 arc about someone who loses their powers; I've published it a lot earlier than the contest deadline, in hopes of getting some player feedback to help shape the story arc and make it better.

Thanks for trying this arc out, Tangler!

I ended up writing an arc for an attempt at Dr. Aeon's Second Architect Challenge:

Two Tickets to Westerly (arc 374002)
While patrolling in King's Row, you see her. Trashy outfit, smeared makeup, unkempt hair; just another Skulls Girlfriend, you think. You're about to pass her by when she starts waving to you. "Please! I need help!" she pleads. "My boyfriend...I think he's in trouble."
(heroic, level 5-10)



I unpublished Destroyer of Worlds to make room for this arc. That arc seemed to make the most sense to unpublish, seeing that it was my attempt at the first Aeon challenge. I think I did about as much as I could with Destroyer, yet I was still not totally happy with it; mainly because of mixed player reaction to the final mission, the lack of a good airfield map for mission 3, and limited replayability value.

I could certainly use player feedback on Two Tickets to Westerly. In my opinion, having other people look at your work and provide constructive criticism is immensely valuable for improving a story arc. Playing through this arc will, of course, count towards QPQ credit for my reviews, as well.

Design notes

* I've been wanting to attempt a "Romance" tagged story arc for awhile. This is an attempt at that. Thinking I may want to add "Magic" to the keywords too.

* The 5-10 level range dictated by the challenge motivated me to make this a very small-scale, street-level adventure. No alien invasions, dimension hopping, nothing like that. Just a boy and a girl ... and, okay, some bad guys doing bad stuff.

* The low level range also dictated some mission parameters. I tried to make all the maps pretty small, to match what lowbie missions look like; also, I forced myself to make the Big Bad a mere boss, though it was sorely tempting to go with an EB.

* I've never actually been to Rhode Island. I picked Westerly from a list of train stations and the town's description in Wikipedia.


Influences

* The Skulls Girlfriends you see in King's Row (well, obviously). I kinda wondered what sort of stories they might have to tell.

* The If you could redesign a canon faction thread on the City Life forum, where several players asked for more content about Skulls.

* A Shadowrun Missions module loosely based on West Side Story had me picturing starcrossed lovers longing to move out of town. Though truthfully that whole plotline might've been totally extemporized by the GM and not in the module at all. He's known to do that sort of thing.

* I re-read Job: A Comedy of Justice recently; this inspired me to make the girl's lifelong dream be opening a lunch counter.


Things I feel like I could use feedback on

* Is the final encounter too difficult? Too easy? In testing, my main character, a level 50 blaster with purple IOs, exemped to 10 smashes it flat with ease. On the other hand, my level 5 rad/storm corruptor with bad powerset synergy and no enhancements just barely won. Could use more input.

* Are the two "main" NPCs given enough personality to make the player care about what happens to them?

* Is the player given enough stuff to do that she feels like a part of the story?

* The first couple missions have the player mostly doing what the contact asks, but the last two missions have the player basically defying what the NPCs want, in order to do the "right" thing. Does this "work"? Or is this "powerposing"?

* Is there too much profanity? I was a little worried about this, but I picture most of the characters encountered during this story as being fairly salty, street gang types. A dozen times while writing this, I had to paraphrase or work around the profanity filter.

* Is the Big Bad's nickname too stupid? I wanted to make a custom Skulls boss, and after discovering the Aztec word for a skull trophy rack, I just had to use it as a name. But I just didn't picture the gang members being able to pronounce this name correctly, and thought a shorter nickname would be true to the genre.

* Do the various minor characters encountered make the arc more fun, or do they distract from the story?

* I just couldn't think of good titles and captions for the individual mission briefings. But I know a lot of people like them because it makes the briefing look more "polished". The adventure is a very small-scale one, though, so maybe it doesn't need them? Or if anyone has any suggestions, happy to take them.

* Is there too much text and exposition in clues? Or not enough?

* Anything else people want to comment on?

Thanks much.

Here's my (first) stab at Dr. Aeon's Second Challenge. Looking for feedback, if anyone is interested in trying it. I'll post some design notes later. Heading to bed now.

Two Tickets to Westerly
Arc ID: 374002
Keywords: Solo Friendly, Romance
Morality: Heroic
Level range: 5-10
Warnings: none

While patrolling in King's Row, you see her. Trashy outfit, smeared makeup, unkempt hair; just another Skulls Girlfriend, you think. You're about to pass her by when she starts waving to you. "Please! I need help!" she pleads. "My boyfriend...I think he's in trouble."

The Alien Tyrant review
Arc ID: 357388
Keywords: Ideal for Teams, Save the World, Sci-Fi
Morality: Heroic
Level range: 45-54
Warnings: AVs, EBs

The premise of the arc is to attack an alien planet, battle through enemy soldiers, and attack their Emperor. This arc is apparently the sequel to another arc that I haven't played. With "Ideal for Teams" and AVs listed, I played a level 50 MA/SR scrapper with soft capped defense, on default +0 x0 difficulty. The contact is a Vanguard soldier.

[5.0] points to start.

Mission 1
Briefing: the contact quickly catches me up with the story, saying that the Restarians tried to conquer Earth but were repelled by metahumans.

[-0.01] Typo: "dissaray" -> "disarray" (in briefing)

[-0.01] Mission accept text: "Accept" does not make sense in this context as the contact has not asked the player to do anything yet, he has only given an info dump. You may want to have the contact ask the player for help, and then change the mission accept text to something the player might say.

The send-off message does explain a bit more about what this mission is about. The contact wants me to check out a Restarian base in the Rogue Isles.

[-0.01] Mission objectives: "Defeat Karhn" is in my objective list, but Karhn was not mentioned by the contact, so I don't know who that is. Perhaps "Defeat Restarian leader" or something similar would make more sense.

There are some custom Restarian mobs in the mission, with costumes that look quite good; they look very much the part of sinister, faceless goons.

[+0.1] Neat looking custom group.

I soon find Lieutenant Karhn and battle him. While fighting him, he says:

[NPC] Lieutenant Karhn: Oh no. They can't jeapordise our plans! Attack!

[-0.01] Typo: "jeapordise" -> "jeopardise" (or "jeopardize")


KARHN!!!!

Defeating Karhn gives me the "Portal Codes" clue.

[-0.01] Involvement: Portal Codes clue suggests "Perhaps taking them back to Higgs would be the best plan"; would be nicer if the player could recognize the significance of the portal codes herself, rather than have the contact tell her what they're for.

I also found Operative Grake and defeated him, getting the "List of Portal Materials" clue and completing the mission.

This mission felt very short, but maybe this is okay.

Debriefing: the contact reviews the clues that were found so far, agreeing that it sounds like the Restarians just want to go home.

[5.05] at end of mission 1.

Mission 2
Briefing: the clues from the last mission give us coordinates for the Restarian homeworld, which we're going to use to attempt some regime change to remove the Restarian Emperor.

[-0.01] Typo: "it's soil" -> "its soil" (in briefing)

[-0.01] Mission accept message: needs something more than the default "Accept"

Send-off message: the contact clarifies that he wants me to take out a broadcasting tower that the Emperor uses to transmit his propaganda.

[-0.01] Typo: "it's people" -> "its people" (in send-off message)

[-0.01] Typo: "heavily secure" -> "heavily secured" or "heavily guarded" (in send-off message)

[-0.01] Typo: "it's daily broadcast" -> "its daily broadcast" (in mission entry popup)

[-0.01] Typo: "obidient" -> "obedient" (in Sentinel description)

Searching the map I find some "Bombs to place".

[-0.01] Each glowy is named "Bombs to place" should be named just "Bomb" (note singular)

[-0.01] Mission objective: "Set the last bomb!" should omit the exclamation point. Looks odd with a comma after it; currently my objectives are "Set the last bomb!, Defeat the Overseer"

I found Overseer Brenodi and beat him up, satisfying "Defeat the Overseer".


He just wants to get ahead.

After some searching, I found the last bomb in a room where I had overlooked it (I can never find those tiny little bundles of dynamite). Clicking it completed the mission and gave me "The Cries of Rebellion" as a clue, which has some nice writing in it.

[-0.01] Typo: "it's people" -> "its people" (in The Cries of Rebellion)

[-0.1] Needs more atmosphere: this mission needs some more stuff suggestive of a broadcasting station in it. The Tower of the Emperor's Word should totally have broadcasting equipment, maybe some newscasters or radio operators, reels of propaganda films, etc., in it, to make it more than just another tech lab.

[-0.01] Typo: "supress" -> "suppress" (in debriefing)

[4.85] at end of mission 2.

Mission 3
Briefing: a rebellion has started after I bombed the radio station, but is getting brutally suppressed. The contact wants me to defeat the specialized "Treason Unit" robots and free some captured rebels.

[-0.01] Typo: "Supression" -> "Suppression" (in the caption for the briefing)

[-0.01] Phrasing: "You've set events in motion entire legions couldn't achieve $name" is a little awkward; perhaps "You've set events in motion that entire legions couldn't achieve, $name" (in briefing)

[-0.01] Mission accept message: needs something more than the default "Accept"

[-0.01] Phrasing: "free the rebels which have been captured" -> "free the rebels who have been captured"

I find and fight a Treason Unit. The briefing does a good job of hyping up the Treason Units as specialized police robots, but the red and black color scheme of the Treason Units is identical to the rest of the Restarian military, so it blends right in.

[-0.01] Costuming: Treason Unit needs a more distinctive appearance (perhaps even a different color scheme since it is police and not military).

Found and freed a Rebel Gunman.

[-0.01] Phasing: "Fighting to see their planet free of the Emperor's reign" isn't a complete sentence (in Rebel Gunman's description). Suggest that you either add some text, or combine with the previous sentence, e.g., "they are a determined lot, fighting to see their planet free..."

[-0.1] Don't understand: why does Rebel Gunman just stand there after being freed? Shouldn't he help me free the other rebels?

I eventually free all the Rebel Gunmen and defeat all the Treason Units, which completes the mission and gives me the "Path to the Palace" clue.

[-0.01] Terminology: An Emperor wouldn't have a "Royal Palace"; perhaps you mean "Imperial Palace" (in Path to the Palace, and also referred to in mission 4 briefing and send-off)

[-0.1] Gameplay: This mission seemed a little dull to me. Set on a large outdoor map, the only items of interest were the Treason Units (who all had identical dialog) and the Rebel Gunmen (who also all had identical dialog). Perhaps it makes sense for the robotic Treason Units to be identical, but it might be more exciting if the player rescued a variety of resistance fighters with different dialog; perhaps even a rebel leader. Or maybe if some other mission details were added, like a boss who is controlling the Treason Units (perhaps a mad scientist or a head security goon), some battles between rebels and Imperials, or some strategic objective the rebels were after when they got captured, that the rebel leader tells you about after rescuing her, then you end up helping accomplish it instead. Anyway, I just think the mission needs something more.

[4.59] at end of mission 3.

Mission 4
Briefing: now we're after the Emperor himself, and his guards, in the Royal Palace.

[-0.01] Typo: "truely" -> "truly" (in briefing)

[-0.01] Terminology: An Emperor wouldn't have "Royal Guards"; perhaps this should be "Imperial Guards"

[-0.01] Phrasing: "Restarian forces have been forced to cower in the Royal Palace" just doesn't sound right to me; I suggest either "Restarian forces are cowering in the Imperial Palace" or "Restarian forces have been forced to retreat to the Imperial Palace".

[-0.01] Mission accept message: needs something more than the default "Accept"

Send-off message: The contact now says that actually, the rebels have captured the Royal Palace and the Emperor has run away to some underground caves.

[-0.1] Inconsistency: first the briefing said the Emperor and his guards are in the Palace, then the send-off message says they're in some caves under the Palace. But no time has elapsed between these two messages, so this seems inconsistent.

[-0.01] Phrasing: "All forces on Restaria are now engaged with each other" doesn't quite make sense; I think you mean something like "All Restarian Imperial forces are now engaged with rebel fighters".

[-0.1] Don't understand: how is it that the rebels can't enter the caves due to the "emergency defences", but I'm able to enter the caves freely? The briefing does mention "We will open a wormhole" as an explanation for how I can get in, but if we're able to do this, why can't we just send a rebel army through the wormhole to overrun the Emperor?

[-0.01] Phrasing: the contact calls me "sir" even though I am playing a female character.

[-0.01] Inconsistency: the briefing uses British spellings ("defences", "neighbouring") but the glowies in the mission use US spelling ("Defense Generator"). I think either is fine, but you shouldn't mix them.

I find and destroy a couple of the generators, then I find a Royal Guard and defeat him. The Royal Guard is supposed to be a badass, but he really looks almost exactly like the other Restarians.

[-0.01] Costuming: Royal Guard needs a more distinctive costume; perhaps give him a cape and/or a fancier hat or different colors or something.

Royal Guard also used Build Up against me; this seemed a little scary, but is maybe appropriate for the final mission's encounters.

[-0.01] Mission objectives: "Defeat the last Royal Guard!" should omit the trailing exclamation point, looks weird with a comma after it.

[-0.01] Don't understand: why is defeating the Royal Guards necessary? Wouldn't defeating the Emperor himself be enough? Perhaps the Guards should be optional, or be members of the group surrounding the Emperor, or perhaps the Emperor wouldn't spawn initially, but would be triggered only after defeating the Royal Guards.

I reach the final room, which is Tyrant's throne room; a nice choice to face the Emperor in.

[-0.01] Typo: "in it's range" -> "in its range" (Emperor Esscari's description)


This is me getting whomped for 1538 damage. Don't try this at home, kids.

I manage to beat up the Emperor, though he had me worried after he Dull Pain'd and started calling ambushes.

After defeating the Emperor, I searched around and beat the last Royal Guard and destroyed the last generator, completing the mission.

[-0.01] Typo: "it's people" -> "its people" (in debriefing)

[-0.01] Don't understand: why is what happens to Restaria now a mystery? We've been able to visit it freely up to this point, shouldn't we know what happens next?

[-0.1] No souvenir?

[4.16] at end of mission 4.

Overall
A pretty good arc about overthrowing an evil empire. I liked the look of the Restarians, though the special units needed to be more distinctive looking. The plot seemed basically good. The middle missions felt a little bland, though, and could use additional details to give more of a sense of atmosphere. I'd also recommend giving the resistance fighters a little more personality to make them seem more real, perhaps giving them distinctive names and dialog in mission 3 and having a couple help take down the Imperials in mission 4.

Rounding 4.16 off, I gave this arc 4 stars.

----

My queue is now:

Mirror_Man - Galactic Protectorate 03 #174352 (N40-54)
Dsarvess Rientel - Serpent's Scheme #363206 (H5-25)
Lazarus - Breaking the Barrier (And Putting it Back Together) #347029 (re-review) (H45-54)
Mirror_Man - Galactic Protectorate 04 #269714 (N40-54)
Gruntle - A Demon's Vengeance #47949 (V5-54)
Tubbius - Hammer and Sickle of Paragon City #351727 (H30-54)
Mirror_Man - Galactic Protectorate 05 #304290 (N40-54)
StyrofoamKing - one of Save the Villain #364597 (N1-54), Shadow of the Red Death #367071 (H5-40), Betrayal in Rome #369445 (N35-54)
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Mirror_Man - Galactic Protectorate 06 #304290 (N40-54)

2/4/2010

On Tuesday night I joined an ITF as Yuki-Onna (50 ice/cold corruptor), but right after the TF started and before I got into the first mission, my ISP died on me and didn't come back til the next day. Spent the night offline, working out a high defense respec for Yuki-Onna using Mids; this is what I came up with:

Villain Plan by Mids' Villain Designer 1.601
http://www.cohplanner.com/

Click this DataLink to open the build!

Yuki-Onna respec: Level 50 Science Corruptor
Primary Power Set: Ice Blast
Secondary Power Set: Cold Domination
Power Pool: Fitness
Power Pool: Leaping
Power Pool: Flight
Power Pool: Leadership
Ancillary Pool: Leviathan Mastery

Villain Profile:
Level 1: Ice Bolt -- Thundr-Acc/Dmg(A), Thundr-Dmg/EndRdx(3), Thundr-Dmg/Rchg(3), Thundr-Acc/Dmg/Rchg(5), Thundr-Acc/Dmg/EndRdx(5), Thundr-Dmg/EndRdx/Rchg(7)
Level 1: Infrigidate -- HO:Lyso(A), UndDef-DefDeb/Rchg/EndRdx(42), Achilles-ResDeb%(46)
Level 2: Ice Blast -- Thundr-Acc/Dmg(A), Thundr-Dmg/EndRdx(7), Thundr-Dmg/Rchg(9), Thundr-Acc/Dmg/Rchg(9), Thundr-Acc/Dmg/EndRdx(11), Thundr-Dmg/EndRdx/Rchg(11)
Level 4: Ice Shield -- LkGmblr-Def/EndRdx(A), LkGmblr-Def(33), LkGmblr-Rchg+(33)
Level 6: Swift -- Run-I(A)
Level 8: Freeze Ray -- Lock-Acc/Hold(A), Lock-Acc/Rchg(13), Lock-Rchg/Hold(13), Lock-EndRdx/Rchg/Hold(15), Lock-Acc/EndRdx/Rchg/Hold(15), Lock-%Hold(17)
Level 10: Glacial Shield -- LkGmblr-Def/EndRdx(A), LkGmblr-Def(34), LkGmblr-Rchg+(34)
Level 12: Ice Storm -- Posi-Acc/Dmg(A), Posi-Dmg/EndRdx(34), Posi-Dmg/Rchg(36), Posi-Dmg/Rng(36), Posi-Acc/Dmg/EndRdx(36), RechRdx-I(37)
Level 14: Hurdle -- Jump-I(A)
Level 16: Combat Jumping -- Zephyr-Travel/EndRdx(A), Zephyr-ResKB(17), LkGmblr-Rchg+(27)
Level 18: Bitter Ice Blast -- Thundr-Acc/Dmg(A), Thundr-Dmg/EndRdx(19), Thundr-Dmg/Rchg(19), Thundr-Acc/Dmg/Rchg(21), Thundr-Acc/Dmg/EndRdx(21), Thundr-Dmg/EndRdx/Rchg(23)
Level 20: Stamina -- P'Shift-EndMod(A), P'Shift-EndMod/Acc(46), P'Shift-End%(50)
Level 22: Hover -- Zephyr-Travel(A), Zephyr-Travel/EndRdx(23), Flight-I(27)
Level 24: Arctic Fog -- LkGmblr-Def/EndRdx(A), LkGmblr-Def(25), LkGmblr-Rchg+(25)
Level 26: Maneuvers -- RedFtn-Def/EndRdx(A), RedFtn-Def/Rchg(29), RedFtn-EndRdx/Rchg(29), RedFtn-Def/EndRdx/Rchg(31), RedFtn-Def(33), RedFtn-EndRdx(42)
Level 28: Benumb -- Acc-I(A), RechRdx-I(46)
Level 30: Tactics -- GSFC-ToHit(A), GSFC-ToHit/Rchg(31), GSFC-ToHit/Rchg/EndRdx(31), GSFC-Rchg/EndRdx(40), GSFC-ToHit/EndRdx(40), GSFC-Build%(42)
Level 32: Blizzard -- Posi-Acc/Dmg(A), Posi-Dmg/EndRdx(37), Posi-Dmg/Rchg(37), Posi-Dmg/Rng(39), Posi-Acc/Dmg/EndRdx(39), RechRdx-I(39)
Level 35: Sleet -- RechRdx-I(A), RechRdx-I(40)
Level 38: Heat Loss -- P'Shift-EndMod/Rchg(A), P'Shift-EndMod/Acc/Rchg(43), P'Shift-Acc/Rchg(43), RechRdx-I(43)
Level 41: Shark Skin -- ResDam-I(A), ResDam-I(45), S'fstPrt-ResDam/Def+(45)
Level 44: Hibernate -- RechRdx-I(A), RechRdx-I(45)
Level 47: Summon Coralax -- BldM'dt-Acc/Dmg(A), BldM'dt-Dmg/EndRdx(48), BldM'dt-Acc/EndRdx(48), BldM'dt-Acc/Dmg/EndRdx(48), BldM'dt-Acc(50), BldM'dt-Dmg(50)
Level 49: Vengeance -- LkGmblr-Rchg+(A)
------------
Level 1: Brawl -- Empty(A)
Level 1: Sprint -- Empty(A)
Level 2: Rest -- Empty(A)
Level 1: Scourge


My previous build was heavily focused on +dmg and +rchg; this one is more oriented towards ranged defense. I also got rid of Super Jump in favor of Hover, because hovering is really good when you have high range DEF and low melee DEF. With Ninja Run, "real" travel powers seem kind of unnecessary. I also swapped the shark hold power for Summon Coralax, mostly because I never use the shark power and maybe I'd actually use a pet power, and the pet IO sets give some nice bonuses. I couldn't squeeze Aim into the build, which I regretted a bit, but I didn't have anything else I was willing to give up for it.


Wednesday night, I was able to get back on, and used a free respec to make Yuki-Onna match the above build (minus one BotZ knockback protection IO, several LotG DEF/+7.5% rchg IOs, and most of the Gaussian's set).

Then I played Lady Arachne (50 wolf spider) on a speed ITF (26m 7s) and a speed LGTF (24m 1s), both of which went very well.

The same team swapped to hero side for an STF, on which I played Star Amethyst (50 dark/ice defender). We finished this in 41m 54s and I got an Apocalypse (RCHG/ACC) recipe (Yay!) and a Centriole SHO (boo!).

One of the team members was a moderator on LB and managed to talk me into becoming a moderator on LB, too. I'm not sure how good an idea this was; from my experience, all moderators who actually moderate people on LB rapidly get called fascists or worse and get chased out of the channel. But I'd like to see things improve on LB, and so it makes more sense to try to help. I did say that I'd like clear guidance on what is/isn't allowed on LB, so that moderation is even-handed and people can't play mommy-daddy between the strict and the easy mods; apparently these rules don't exist yet but are being worked on, maybe as an output from the What do you think of the LB global channel survey. People on the LB channel seemed to react positively to me being made a moderator of the channel; hopefully they'll feel the same way if and when I start actually using moderator powers.

Finished the night playing Millie Volt (36 elec/elec brute) on a pickup ITF. The team leader wanted to clear most, though we had one corruptor who kept thinking it was a speed run and running way ahead of the rest of the team. The rest of us stayed together pretty well though and beat up lots of Romans. Finished in 49m 45s and got Millie to level 38.

Here's my comedy arcs:

Teen Phalanx Forever (arc 67335)
The Teen Phalanx is on a recruitment drive, and they've extended an invitation to a teen version of your hero to try out! Do you have what it takes to join Paragon City's most prestigious teen superhero team?
(heroic, level 15-30)

Celebrity Kidnapping (arc 1388)
Boy, does Willy Wheeler have a deal for you! A celebrity heiress has been sentenced to jail for drunk driving. The plan is to break her out of the Zig with the help of some thugs, then hold her for ransom for immense profit! What could go wrong?
(villainous, level 30-40)

Papers and Paychecks (arc 298290)
JOB OPENING: Entry-level position available in dynamic, fast-moving Fortune 500 company. Seeking flexible, motivated individuals, self-starters willing to think outside the box. Excellent salary, benefits, opportunities for rapid promotion. Qualified applicants, contact Crey Industries HR Dept.
(villainous, level 32-45)


For some more humorous arcs, I'd also recommend (not by me):

(suitable for lowbies)
Nuclear in 90 - The Fusionette Task Force (arc 58363)
Mercytown (arc 6017) (though...this is really horror...or maybe humorous horror)
The Tangled Weave (arc 338575) (not officially comedy, but I thought it was fun)

(a bit higher level)
Becky's Revenge (arc 60197)
Death to Disco (arc 84420)
Ashley Porter and the Gorilla War (arc 130809)
The Wentworth's Thanksgiving Day Parade (arc 347683)

Wrong Number had a thread focused on reviewing humor arcs awhile back also; you can find it here.

2/2/2010

Long; catching up after a couple weeks.

Tue 1/19

Quick Katie (39 plant/kin controller) joined an ITF formed on LB (but with lots of speed players); finished in 28m 56s and got to level 40.

Police Woman traded 300M infl to a friend for 300M infamy. Also bought a Ragnarok (DMG) on blue side for 200M; crafted and slotted for Star Amethyst (50 dark/ice defender), making a set of 5 Ragnarok for +10% global rchg.

Blew some merits to help IO up Lady Arachne (50 wolf spider). Slotted 3 Luck of the Gambler (DEF/+7.5% rchg) in various DEF powers, 6 Expedient Reinforcement in her Summon Arachnobots power (+3.13% rng DEF), and two sets of 3 Miracle in Aid Other and Aid Self (+1.88% max HP each).

Millie Volt (32 elec/elec brute) joined a 5 player villain team doing level 44 missions in Grandville, picking up the Founders Falls mayhem badge and making a new global friend.

Psychic Woman (31 rad/psy defender) joined a 3 player Positron TF (bs scrapper, kin controller, me as rad defender) that finished in 2h exactly, getting Psychic Woman to level 32. This is the first time I've seen a team do the Rollister mission by running to the very back of the mission, then working our way back out; an obvious improvement in hindsight, but it never occurred to me before.


Wed 1/20

Millie Volt (32 elec/elec brute) solo'd through In Pursuit of Liberty, an origin story for a newbie heroine related to Ms Liberty. I had played through this a couple times before and gave it average marks, but the author had made a lot of improvements since then; this time through I gave it 5 stars. Then I solo'd a Talos mayhem, getting Millie to level 33. At that point I burned 140 reward merits on random rolls:

1 Dark Watcher's Despair (RCHG/END)
1 Touch of Lady Grey (RCHG/END)
1 Decimation (ACC/DMG/RCHG) BlackMkt=5.1M
1 Sting of the Manticore (DMG/INTRDX/RCHG)
1 Obliteration (chance for smashing) BlackMkt=20M
1 Numina's Convalescence (HEAL/RCHG) BlackMkt=5.5M
1 Touch of Death (DMG/END/RCHG) BlkMkt=8.8M

...a yield of 281K infa/merit, a little above average. I also bought 7 Silver reward rolls at 555 AE tickets each, getting:

1 Pacing of the Turtle (DMG/SLOW) BlkMkt=1K
1 Kinetic Combat (chance for KD) BlkMkt=12K
1 Touch of the Nictus (HEAL/RCHG) BlkMkt=333K
1 Gift of the Ancients (DEF/END/RCHG) BlkMkt=1K
1 Devastation (ACC/DMG/END/RCHG) BlkMkt=9M
1 Numina's Convalescence (END/HEAL) BlkMkt=5.5M
1 Obliteration (DMG/RCHG) BlkMkt=1M

for a yield of 4K infa/ticket.

Psychic Woman (32 rad/psy defender) joined an 8-player Manticore TF (2 scrappers, 1 rad controller, 2 emp controllers, me as rad defender, 1 dark defender, 1 blaster); we had some messy stealthing that resulted in a few deaths but still finished in 1hr 2mins.

Thesia (a relatively new 5 grav/sonic controller) joined a small team (hovered around 3 to 4 players) that had a couple wipeouts against Clockwork due to overaggro. I found it was quite hard to keep a team alive with sonic shields and Aid Other. Nevertheless got to level 11 and had someone compliment Thesia on her costume.

Star Amethyst (50 dark/ice defender) joined a Master of the Dr Kahn TF team (2 scrappers, 2 tankers, 1 fire/kin controller, 1 ill/rad controller, me as dark/ice defender, 1 blaster). We played it very safe and won in 46m 50s. One player disconnected during the final mission and came back after the mission completed, but still got the Master of the 5th Column badge on returning (I think maybe because we hadn't called the TF in yet, but not sure).

Indigo Ifrit (50 fire/rad corruptor) joined a speed LGTF. We messed up the first mission when the person assigned to TP people back to the door ended up getting TP'd to where Penelope was held captive; after some confusion, we ended up purposely getting Penelope killed to fail the first mission. We had some teammates who weren't really familiar with speed TFs who ended up having some trouble (dying a lot, not sure what to do). I got nominated to target mitos in the fourth mission to help out. We still ended up completing the LGTF in 35m 13s. Despite failing both missions 1 and 3, we still got 37 merits; I thought there was a penalty for failing multiple missions in a TF, but maybe not. Still seems faster to complete mission 1 than fail it, though.

Mega (50 SS/will brute) spent some more tickets on level 35-39 Silver rolls at 555 tickets each, hoping for Kinetic Combat recipes. I got:

1 Touch of Death (DMG/RCHG) BlkMkt=5.1M
1 Dark Watcher's Despair (chance of slow) BlkMkt=100K
1 Entropic Chaos (DMG/RCHG) BlkMkt=5K
1 Sovereign Right (ACC/DMG) BlkMkt=10K
1 Luck of the Gambler (DMG/END) BlkMkt=25M
1 Force Feedback (chance of +rchg) BlkMkt=1K
1 Scirocco's Dervish (DMG/END) BlkMkt=100K

for a yield of 7.8K/ticket (mostly due to the LotG).

Somehow I sold the Sting of the Manticore (DMG/INTRDX/RCHG) recipe I got the day before for 25M infamy. This was surprising because I had previously considered it to be worthless.


Mon 1/25

Played Police Woman (50 AR/dev blaster) on a Master of the Dr. Kahn TF (1 kin controller, 1 shield tanker, 1 stone tanker, 2 blasters, 2 scrappers, 1 rad defender). We had one false start because the team leader forgot to set the "Master" settings on the TF, then got going. There was some drama between the team leader and the stone tanker as the stoner was more aggressive about moving forward than the team leader wanted, but this got worked out without serious problems. The stone tanker also asked for ID against Reichsman in the final mission, which I thought was odd, but it looked like Reichsman's lightning actually could stun him through his normal mez protection. Using Surveillance I could also see that I was debuffing Reichsman's resists by 34% (between Surveillance and an Achilles Heel proc), compared to the rad's 30% (from Enervating Field), which seemed cool. Finished in 38m 45s and got the Master of the 5th Column TF badge, badge #619 for Police Woman.

After that I played Darla Doppler (31 kin/sonic defender), joining an 8 player LEGION team mostly fighting Crey. At some point the team leader left and gave me the star; I ended up picking radio missions at +2 difficulty, until we hit a messy Arachnos mission where we suffered lots of deaths. This left us somewhat demoralized and the team broke up after that. I need to remember +2 Arachnos are much harder than +2 Freaks. This still got Darla to level 32 and Fulcrum Shift, though.

Mega (50 SS/will brute) joined a 6 player speed (sort of) ITF. The scrapper on the team died a lot and ended up quitting the TF after the first mission. The rest of us were still able to finish the TF in 32m 9s, though, which is not bad for 5 players.


Tue 1/26

Thunder Girl (50 elec/SR scrapper) joined a speed ITF that finished in 24m 57s; I don't remember anything about it except that I was in scrapperlock the whole time. After the TF I checked Wentworth's, where I found I had sold 20 Demonic Blood Samples for 20M infl, and bought 20 more Demonic Blood Samples for 100K infl. Normally I wouldn't bother mentioning day trading stuff but this just seemed a crazy price spread for a common salvage.

Indigo Ifrit (50 fire/rad corruptor) joined a clear-most ITF that finished in 46m 57s, then Strong Woman (44 inv/SS tanker) joined a clear-most ITF that finished in 42m 21s and got her to level 46. Whew! That's a lot of ITFing.


Wed 1/27

Strong Woman (46 inv/SS tanker) joined a Lady Grey TF with mostly Whirligig players. We cleared some, failed mission 3, stealthed some; finished in 44m 3s. One controller got disconnected in the final fight and ended up missing the merit reward.


Fri 1/29

Olivia Q (50 MA/SR scrapper) solo'd through Galactic Protectorate Part 02, part of a lengthy series about an alien invasion. The story didn't do much for me (I felt it suffered from "middle book" syndrome) but everything in the story still seemed to work and made sense, so I still gave it 5 stars.

Thunder Girl (50 elec/SR scrapper) did an ITF in 25m 50s, then a LGTF in 31m 44s.

Helen Highwater (24 storm/psy defender on Triumph) joined an 8-player Demolition Girls team doing Colleen Nelson's missions; Helen got to level 25.


Sat 1/30

Millie Volt (34 elec/elec brute) joined a 4 player LEGION team; we did some of Crimson Revenant's missions, defeating Mynx as an EB and Back Alley Brawler as an AV, getting Millie to level 35.

Played TokyoRose (24 sonic/sonic corruptor) on an 8-player villain team for awhile, getting to level 25. I'm not sure sonic dispersion is actually fun (does not seem like there is enough to do?) but the team seemed to like the sonic buffs and debuffs a lot. One of our brutes said he needed TokyoRose to follow him around for the rest of his career so he could be tougher and do more damage all the time.

Strong Woman (46 inv/SS tanker) did an ITF in 37m 12s, getting to level 47. Thunder Girl (50 elec/SR scrapper) did another ITF, clearing most, in 58m 47s.


Sun 1/31

Thesia (11 grav/sonic controller) joined a Positron TF (peacebringer, elec/dark tanker, me as grav/son controller, sonic/arch defender, dark/rad defender, sonic/mm blaster). With tons of sonics we had lots of wavy lines on the screen at all times. I was envious of the sonic defender's buff graphics, which looked like captured moonlight, compared to Thesia's rather dull grey buffs (somewhat later I ended up changing my power colors as a result). We had a few people AFK for part of the TF, but still finished in 1hr 57m, getting Thesia to level 17.

Darla Doppler (32 kin/sonic defender) joined an 8-player Sisterhood team that beat up Black Swan. Got to level 33 and cashed out 320 merits for random recipe rolls, getting:

1 Obliteration (ACC/DMG/RCHG/END) Wentw=25M
1 Ghost Widow's Embrace (chance for psi) Wentw=22K
1 Gift of the Ancients (DEF) Wentw=512K
2 Aegis (+psi resist) Wentw=3M
1 Gaussian's Synchronized Fire Control (RCHG/END) Wentw=10M
2 Impervium Armor (+psi resist) Wentw=4M
2 Aegis (END/RCHG/RES) Wentw=600K
1 Touch of Death (ACC/DMG/END) Wentw=5M
1 Freebird (+stealth) Wentw=5M
1 Stupefy (ACC/STUN/RCHG) Wentw=500K
1 Touch of Death (DMG/END/RCHG) Wentw=8M
1 Aegis (END/RES) Wentw=250K
1 Devastation (DMG/RCHG) Wentw=1.8M

for a yield of 223K infl/merit, on the low side of average. Darla went on to do a Katie TF; our team had 2 rads and a kin so we walked all over it, finishing in 19m 41s and getting Darla to 34.

Millie Volt (35 elec/elec brute) joined an ITF formed on LB. The team started out mostly squishies with me as only melee, which made me kind of nervous about how squishy elec armor would be against Cimerorans; I was relieved when an experienced (and higher level) tanker joined the team. We cleared most and finished in 40m 53s. Millie still felt rather squishy (especially compared to my elec/SR scrapper or inv/SS tanker); I need to invest in Tough and some IO set bonuses.

Someone was offering the mission to defeat Antimatter (needed for Portal Jockey but often hard to get) on the speed channel; I joined with Star Amethyst to get credit for this.

Police Woman picked up the Dimensional Explorer day job (for being logged out in the shadow shard) on this day, also getting the Traveler accolade as a result; these were badges #620 and #621 for her.


Mon 2/1

Started Water Lily, a newbie rad/storm corruptor with aquatic themed costume and power colors. The rad blasts have tiny bubbles in them that made me think that coloring them blue would make them look like water. Solo'd Breakout and some of Kalinda's missions to level 3, then played through Mercytown, a fun lowbie AE arc where you work for Dr. Krylov; I gave it 5 stars, and this got Water Lily to level 5.

Quick Katie (40 plant/kin controller) joined a clear-most ITF formed on LB, finishing in 48m 19s and getting to level 41. I couldn't decide between the fire or psy epic pools, so ended up postponing the decision til later by taking Vengeance at 41 instead.

Kyrie Eleison (33 fire/regen scrapper) helped a friend defeat the Envoy of Shadows, then ran a few missions on a small team.

TokyoRose (25 sonic/sonic corruptor) lackeyed to a 7-player team doing the Black Scorpion patron arc. The invuln brute leading the team complained incessantly about how badly they had nerfed invuln and how he constantly ran out of END, got beat up too easily, etc., until he sheepishly realized that he had let all his SO enhancements go red. TokyoRose got to level 26 on this team.

Finished the night playing Idealist (49 fire/thermal controller) on a Master of the Dr Kahn TF (1 traps defender, 1 scrapper, 1 kin controller, 1 thermal controller, 2 blasters, peacebringer, stone tanker). We were poor about aggro control in general, and the defender especially was surprisingly aggressive for being on a "master of" attempt, often jumping in to take alpha strikes from mobs. The defender was the team leader so I tried to tactfully explain that this was dangerous behavior; I mentally imagined that some squishy would zerg into a big spawn of mobs, fail the TF, then blame me for not healing them. In the third mission the peacebringer (who I thought would be useless and spawn cysts for us, but was actually quite good) had Grant Invis'd us all, so that we could stealth to the back of the mission, but the tanker forgot to turn off mud pots so ended up getting in a fight. This ended up stringing the team out so that some people made it to boss in the back of the mission, while other people (including me) were stranded mid-way as their invis ran out. The peacebringer came back to invis us again, then said "Go!" after invising us; unfortunately our defender took this as the signal to attack the mission boss, promptly getting herself killed (and failing the "master of" attempt). On the bright side, she did not yell at me for not healing her from the other side of the map. We had previously agreed to finish the TF even if someone died, but nevertheless the tanker nearly bailed on the team to join another Master of the Dr Kahn TF that wsa forming. We managed to guilt trip him hinto staying until the end of the TF, though. We ended up finishing the TF in 1hr 23mins.