Mirror_Man

So, after applying all the final touches (which took ALOT longer than I thought it would), "The Galactic Protectorate - 04" is finally published live on the AE servers

For those of you who enjoyed the previous 3 arcs, I hope you enjoy the latest installment, as well!

Thanks for the review, airhead! It's nice to get some feedback on "The Galactic Protectorate - 03", since it's the arc that has the least amount of reviews and, as such, is desperately in need of some critiquing

As for the overall feel of the arc... that was actually my intent. The fact that all the GP arcs are labeled "Neutral" rather than "Heroic" or "Villainous" wasn't an oversight on my part.

One of my goals with "The Galactic Protectorate" storyline was to deviate from the standard "Good VS Evil" or "Black & White" type storylines you usually find. Most importantly, I wanted to give each division of the Galactic Protectorate it's own identity (that still fell in line with the overall theme of the organization), rather than have them be some "evil organization filled with generic mooks" like many of the other non-AE enemy groups are. That's the reason I put some much effort into the designs and descriptions of each NPC, and try to make their backstory so detailed.

At the end of "The Galactic Protectorate - 02", I wanted the arc to end on a very high note. At the end of "The Galactic Protectorate - 03", I wanted the arc to end on more of a downer, to balance out the storyline. I hope you still enjoyed the story, even if you didn't like the "ambiguous" nature of the arc.

And, yes... the "update" referred to in the arc's description is indeed "The Galactic Protectorate - 04", which I'm hoping to have published this Saturday, si long as nothing comes up in RL to disrupt the due date

Actually, the whole "limiting my queue to 5" was only supposed to apply to the first 5 review requests when I first opened my thread, and in hindsight it was completely unecessary.

When I first started my review thread, I was concerned about being flooded with review requests that I'd never be able to keep up with, thus I instatated the "quid pro quo" and "5 reviews to start out with" rules to stem the amount of requests I received. The original plan was to see how well I handled reviewing 5 arcs at a time, and then increasing or lowering my next "queue limit" accordingly.

I probably overdid it, though, as I only received 3 review requests before I was finished with my queue, so now my thread is "completely open"; that is, any and all review requests are welcome (the "quid pro quo" rule is still in effect, however) until I feel "overwhelmed", in which case I'd make a post in my thread asking people to stop requesting reviews until I'm finished with my current queue.

I'd change my original post to reflect this, but it's too late for me to modify it

Just wanted to announce that I've made some more updates to my arcs based on the feedback I've gotten in this thread and the bug fixes in today's patch, so (as always) feedback is always appreicated.

[ QUOTE ]
Changing mission one to all family, except for those surrounding Liberty

[/ QUOTE ]

I would support this, though keep in mind that (to the best of my knowledge) the Family has a gap in combat levels, so while low-level players and high-level players won't have a problem with an all-Family mission, mid-level players will probably get gray-conning Family mobs. If you do decide to change Mission 1 to mainly Family enemies, I would suggest putting a level cap on the mission, as well.

[ QUOTE ]
Changing the garden mission to have Evil Garden Dwellers as the main villian group and again only have the Anti Liberty League surrounding Liberty and perhaps Fern.

[/ QUOTE ]

This actually makes alot more sense given your storyline, and would help make the forest map feel more like the "enchanted garden" it's supposed to be. I would advise taking your own advice and testing it first (provided you're not running missions on Challenge Level 5 ), and if you think it's too hard then by all means keep it the way it currently is.

And now, a quick re-review of BinkDeBook's arc

*****

Arc Name: The Ballad of Murky Thecat

Author: BinkDeBook

Character Used: Level 50 DB/WP Scrapper

Score Last Review: 2 Stars

Notable Updates:

Most of the intro/outro dialog has been changed (especially the introduction to the first mission), which gives the player a much better understanding of the overall story. Kaysa's introduction was badly needed, but opens up a few more questions which are never adressed during the arc. The dialog of various NPCs within the missions have been changed to better reflect the story, certain mission objectives were given better descriptions, a nice touch by the author. The "Nurses" custom group had one more minion and lieutenant each, breaking up the previous monotony of fighting them, though (and this is just a suggestion) if the author could squeeze in one more minion, it would go a long way for the custom group.

Overall Impression:

This arc has greatly improved since I last played through it. The story is clearer, the dialog is sharper, and (most importantly) the individual missions felt like they flowed together into one overall plot, as opposed to the previous "random wacky missions" impression I had before.

Of course, with new changes comes new problems, and the most drastic changed I noticed was the fourth mission; specifically, the map choice and dialog. The author changed the map from Kings Row to Council Earth, and the dialog states your character "wants the best for Murky"'; this seems at odd with the nature of the "Nurses" custom group, though maybe I'm missing something.

If I had to give this arc an exact score, it would be 3.5 stars, but given the fact that the author was able to take the previous version of this arc and flesh it out so nicely, I'm givining it...

Final Score: 4 Stars


*****

Alright, anyone else who wants to post a review request in this thread, feel free to do so

[ QUOTE ]
So feel free to check it out again and see if it flows better and makes more sense. The biggest issue before was without knoweldge of the Story pieces, it didn't flow. This should now fix that.

[/ QUOTE ]

If I have time, I'll run your arc again tomorrow, BinkDeBook

It's not going to be as detailed as my first review (since I've already run your arc once); I'll just go over what I thought of the changes you made and make any further suggestions I can think of. And, of course, I'll tell you the new rating I gave it

Alright, time for another review!

*****

Arc Name: In Pursuit of Liberty

Author: Gypsy Rose (ArrowRose)

Character Used: Level 50 DB/WP Scrapper

Mission 1:

The contact for this arc is Ms. Liberty; upon talking to her, the first thing that I notice are the grammar mistakes, though there are surpisingly few spelling mistakes in the mission intro. Ms. Liberty tells me of an innocent child who has been kidnapped, and the "future of Paragon depends" on my character bringing her back. A reasonable intro to a story arc.

Inside the mission, I am met with a custom enemy group, the "Anti-Liberty League". The costume designs are nice, though the descriptions are more or less all the same save for the first sentence stating the enemy's powers. Halfway into the mission, I run into an "Agent Liberty" being held captive by the Anti-Liberty League. After freeing her, Agent Liberty and myself make our way to the end of the map, where we encounter "Big Al", a Family boss, who are also wandering around this map. With Agent Liberty's help, we make quick work of the boss and soon encounter "Little Liberty", the "innocent child" Ms. Liberty spoke of. After rescuing the girl, I find the final objective, a safe, and check my clues. It seems I found a note from somone named "MAL" instructing Big Al to kidnap Little Liberty. MAL even seems to know that Satesman is Marcus Cole, somehow. I also get a "Thank You" letter from the Liberty League, though when I leave the mission a pop-up suggests that I'm not supposed to receive the letter until AFTER I'm outside the mission, so the "timing" of the clue and the pop-up is a bit off. Mission Complete.

Mission 2:

So, it turns out Little Liberty went off to explore some cave looking for buried treasure. Unfortunately, she never came back, so it looks like she's in trouble again. Ms. Liberty instructs me to save Little Liberty, and find the treasure she was looking for.

As I enter the mission, I notice one of the objectives in my nav bar is to "Save Little Liberty Again", which I found a little funny (though I'm not sure if this was intentional by the author). The map is filled with the Anti-Liberty League, but I'm soon able to rescue Little Liberty again, and soon after the treasure she was orginally looking for. It turns out that the "treasure" isn't gold or jewels, but rather a "Mysterious Costume". A pop-up after I leave the mission states that Little Liberty is "destined" to have the costume, and the mission outro reiterates this, with Ms. Liberty explaining that she gave the costume to Little Liberty.

Mission 3:

So, seven years have passed since I last talked with - wait, what? Yes, apparently there's a time skip in between the previous mission and this one. I've played mult-arc stories that have had time skips in between STORY ARCS, but I've never encountered a time skip between MISSIONS before. Anyway, Little (or not-so-little, as Ms. Liberty explains) Liberty, now 21 years old, has "disappeared in an enchanted garden" looking for a book, and it's up to me to go save her... again.

Inside the mission (forest map), I encounter the Anti-Liberty League again, and soon come upon a "journal", which was the book Liberty was searching for. Checking my clues, the journal explains that Liberty is Miss Liberty's granddaughter, and also tells of two swords of amazing power. Soon after, I'm able to free "Liberty Rose Jones" (an adult Little Liberty), and together we fight a custom boss, "Fern Fatale". Fern Fatale is surrounded by Devouring Earth, who are labeled "The Evil Garden Dwellers", which was a nice touch by the author. With Fern Fatale defeated, the mission ends.

Mission 4:

Ms. Liberty informs me that she's going to be sending me into the "possible future" to - wait, what? Anyway, not alot of information is given during this mission intro, other than going into the future will help Liberty fulfill her destiny.

So, in the potentially disastrous future (ruined Atlas Park), I only have two objectives: "Find Coffin" and "Find Statesman". After some time roaming around the Anti-Liberty League map, I find the coffin, but rather than a body, the coffin holds the two swords the journal from the last mission mentioned. After some more searching, I find Statesman, and I notice that (yay!) he actually has a custom description! Not a very long or detailed custom description, mind you, but a custom description nonetheless. After rescuing Statesman, he hands me a note to give to Liberty, which basically tells her to fulfill her destiny.

Mission 5:

Ms. Liberty informs me that Liberty has fulfilled her destiny as a hero, and that this is the last mission she will send me on. The Anti-Liberty League has "become powerful", and I have to rescue Liberty one last time, and defeat the mysterious MAL once and for all.

After some time in the large outdoor map, I find "Liberty Storm" and "Agent Liberty" (from mission 1), two members of the Liberty League. Surprisingly, I also find Statesman, and the four of us eventually run into MAL, who (because the members of the Liberty League are bosses and Statesman is an Elite Boss) is defeated without my character having to lay a finger on him. Finding Liberty Rose herself is tough, however I eventually do locate her. Now named "Liberty Rose", her description tells me she is now a true hero. Arc Complete.

Final Thoughts:

Overall, this turned out to be a surprisingly enjoyable arc; I admit, I had my doubts when I first began the arc, but the story (which admittedly felt forced at times) held together, and the author was able to conclude the arc nicely.

The biggest problem I had with the arc had to be the grammar. I usually don't take points off for spelling/grammar mistakes, but throughout the ENTIRE arc the use of a comma was absent, making almost every long sentence appear run-on, and blending the thoughts of the contact together in any given sentence. There were far too many for me to list, but a quck run through with an up-to-date word processor could easily help the clues and dialog in this arc.

I mentioned the storyline felt forced at times above, but this is especially true for the 4th mission. I understand (like all the missions in this arc), it's supposed to all tie together at the end, but even giving a little more information about HOW or WHY the player's character is getting sent into the future, or for that matter, HOW Ms. Liberty knows about this "possible future" in the first place. Even a few sentences of explanation in the mission intro or as clues in the mission itself would be better than the explanation we have right now.

As for the custom groups, I liked the design of the Liberty League and Anti-Liberty League, but the descriptions were a bit lacking. I counted 3 custom minions, 2 custom lieutenants, 1 custom boss, and 1 custom AV/EB; this is just a suggestion, but if the author could squeeze 1 more custom minion in the Anti-Liberty League, it might help keep the group interesting throughout the arc, since they did seem to get a little boring by the end. Although, that may just be because they were featured so prominently throughout all 5 missions, and I'm not sure how much free space tha author has in the arc anyway.

But with all that being said, this WAS an enjoyable arc to play, and with a little bit of grammar correction and some more fleshing out could easily be 5 stars; even without that, however, it's still (in my opinion) a great 3.0 star arc.

Final Score: 3 Stars


*****

Alright, anyone who wants to request a review (and are willing to review one of my arcs) are always welcome to post

Alright, another day, another review!

*****

Arc Name: Is it Live or is it Memory-X?

Author: Armsman

Character Used: Level 50 DB/WP Scrapper

Mission 1:

The contact for this arc is Citadel, which is actually a nice change of pace from the usual custom character contacts I run into. Citadel tells me that the 5th Column are robbing the 1st National Bank on Talos Island, and it's up to me to stop them. I accept the mission, and the the send-off dialog informs me that the matter is urgent, and I have 15 minutes to stop - wait, 15 minutes? I check my nav bar, and sure enough, the clock is already ticking. It would be nice if the author warns the player BEFORE accepting a mission about any tme limits a mission might have.

I enter the mission (a bank map, naturally), and make my way through. The mission is a defeat all, but since it's a small map there's really no trouble clearing the mission. The final boss at the end of the map drops an encrypted 10-gigabyte flash drive which Citadel says he may be able to access in the mission outro.

Mission 2:

So, it turns out Citadel can't completely break the flash drive's security; from what he can tell, the 5th Column's trying to create a new artificial intelligence system, and will be raiding a Crey facility to acquire a prototype CPU. On a side note, I like the nice use of text colors in the mission dialog and clues that the author uses.

I enter the mission, and have only two objectives: "Find Copy of Nano-Decryption Firmware", and "Destroy Nano-Hal 9000 CPU". Throughout the map, the 5th Column battles with Crey, which was a nice touch by the author. There are alot of computers to search throughout the map, most of which don't have the information we're looking for. After some time, I find the required compter and destroy the mainframe, completing the mission.

Mission 3:

Citadel informs me that the 5th Column already developed a Memory-X A.I. system sometime ago, and are building another one to interact with the first and fix some "problems" with it. Fortunately, it appears they lost the location of the original Memory-X A.I. system, so my character's being sent to an abandoned 5th Column lab to download the data we need before the 5th Column gets to it.

Inside the abandoned lab, I look through many terminals (why are the terminals Arachnos computers?) until I finally find the 4 I'm looking for. After completing the first objective, my nav bar instructs me to "Find and Free Citadel", who is being held captive by a custom group named "Memory-X". More on the custom group later, as I free Citadel and escort him to the entrance, completing the mission.

Mission 4:

As it turns out, the Citadel that I rescued in the last mission was the REAL Citadel, and the Citadel that has been assigning me missions until now was actually a fake replicant designed by this "Memory-X" A.I. system. Apparently, the Memory-X system was developed by the 5th Column to create replicants of various world leader and other important figures. However, the Memory-X system has gone rogue, and is now trying to sever it's bonds with the 5th Column. Luckily, Citadel has detected several energy signatures matching the "Memory-X" robots in a new Portal Corps. facility, and wants me to investigate.

I enter the mission, and begin making my way through the map, which is filled with the custom group "Memory-X"; my nav bar tells me I have 2 hostages to save. I run into a few custom bosses, who for some reason are labeled "All Custom Characters" (I'm assuming this is a mistake on the part of the author). Halfway through the mission, I encounter Statesman, who seems to have been taken hostage. After rescuing him, I notice my nav bar still tells me I have 2 hostages to rescue, though my map is instructing me to bring Statesman to the entrance. When we reach the entrance, however, Statesman reveals himself as a replicant and attacks my character. As it turns out, the replicant Statesman is alot weaker than the real Statesman, and my character's able to defeat him fairly easily. Back at the end of the mission, I find "The President of the United States", and rescue him from his captors. The President shows me where the "Teleportation Control Computer" is, and after securing it,I complete the mission. The mission outro incorrectly labels this as "Part 3" of the arc.

Mission 5:

Using the information from the Teleportation Control Computer, Citadel is able to determine that the Memory-X A.I. system is operating in an abandoned Rikti facility on the moon. Citadel sends me to destroy the Memory-X system and rescue any hostages while he and the rest of the Freedom Phalanx rounds up all the replicants the Memory-X system has made on Earth.

Inside the mission (caves-to-Rikti map, which I guess makes sense considering we're supposed to be below the moon's surface), I find 5 hostages (all of which have the "Default" description; the author might want to consider changing that) and destroy 5 A.I. Processor Modules. I also find Backalley Brawler halfway through the map, who helps out. After completing the inital objectives, my nav bar instructs me to defeat "The Master Builder", who looks similar to the custom bosses from earlier, and even has the "All Custom Characters" label they did. Anyway, I defeat the "Master Builder", and complete the mission. Arc Complete.

Final Thoughts:

Overall, this was a very well thought out arc. The plot flows nicely from beginning to end, there's a bit of a twist halfway through, and the arc has a decent conclusion. The dialog and clues are well-executed throughout the arc, and I enjoyed the text coloring, which highlighted the plot points and important details throughout the arc. The storyline, while not exactly my personal taste, was well-executed, and there were little to no spelling/grammar mistakes.

However, there were some small problems which took away from my overall enjoyment of the arc.

The lack of a warning in the first mission regarding a time limit. I've said it before, but I personally think that time limits (like AV battles) should be one of the things that the author warns the player about before he/she accepts a mission. Interestingly, the author DOES warn the player about the time limit... after the player has accepted the mission, and the clock's already ticking. Unless there's a resaon for this that I'm not seeing, it should be easy for the author to correct this.

Also, I found the descriptions on most of the mission objectives/hostages to be lacking throughout the arc. Most of the time, the author just stuck with the default descriptions, which at times (particularly with the American Diplomat) just confused me.

As for the custom goup, Memory-X; I liked the overall design, though the descriptions really only explained the powersets of each enemy had and not much else; though, given the nature of the "Memory-X" robots, I suppose that makes sense. The bosses and "The Master Builder" seem to be mislabeled in "All Custom Characters", so the author might want to fix that.

Despite the few flaws, I have to say that this was a pretty enjoyable arc, and seems like it would fit right in with some of the Dev-designed arcs already in the game.

Final Score: 4 Stars

*****

Alright, anyone else who wants to request a review, please feel free to post

Thanks for the review, Armsman, though I'd like to remind you (and everyone else) that this thread is for MY reviews of OTHER people's arcs; reviews of MY arcs go in this thread

About my custom group, I notice you were playing at Challenge Level 4; that, to be honest, is the WORST level to fight this particular custom group at. The group is designed to have excellent synergy with each other, and Challenge Level 4 not only spawns large mobs, but large mobs at higher levels than the player's character. To be honest, you probably would have had an easier time with Challenge Level 5. Higher levels, sure, but less in each mob; and I know from experience how much of a difference that makes

But thanks for the review again, Armsman, I'll review your arc either tonight or tomorrow!

Alright, I was busy yesterday, but I'm ready today with my next review!

*****

Arc Name: The Ballad of Murky Thecat

Author: BinkDeBook

Character Used: Level 50 DB/WP Scrapper

Mission 1:

The contact for this arc is a custom character named Kaysa Thecat. Her design is okay, and based on her name I'm sure she has some kind of connection to Murky Thecat, the main focus of this arc, which will be explored later. Talking to the contact reveals that Carnies have been breeding cats for sale as prizes in goldfish toss contests, and I have to beat up the Carnies, along with their "guard dogs", to save them.

...

OK, I'm going to assume that this is a comedic arc. I enter the mission, and am met with ALOT of Carnies. The "guard dogs" mentioned in the mission intro are actually Council Warwovles. All of the enemies are labeled "Cat Breeders", which was a nice touch by the author. Unfortunately, it takes a LONG time to find my first "Kitten" in the huge outdoor map; I'm going to give the author the benefit of the doubt and assume that the "Kittens" are supposed to be suspended in big green gas balls, but due to the bug from I15 are now just cowering from their captors. Regardless of whether this is true or not, the author might want to consider switching the "Kittens" to the "Energy Field" animation until "Floating Struggle" is fixed, so it's easier for players to find them. I save my first kitten, and she thanks me as I- wait, what? These kittens can talk? Are they magic kittens? Are they the results of experimentations gone horribly wrong? The description on the Kitten certainly doesn't give me any answers. After finding the other Kittens, as well as a chest containing "adoption papers" for Murky Thecat, my nav bar instructs me to find Murky Thecat herself. After another LONG search, I finally find Murky, and easily free her from her captors. Based on Murky's dialog and the mission complete dialog, it looks like my character has adopted Murky.

Mission 2:

It seems that there was a "no-pet" clause in my rental agreement, and now my landlord is calling in security to evict me from my apartment. I have to defeat the police and steal the original rent agreement so I'm not kicked out on the street.

...Wait, what?

OK, let's just say that for the duration of this arc my character is living in an apartment, and isn't ready to leave anytime soon. I enter the mission, and find some Crey Agents, which have been labeled "Apartment Security" for the duration of this mission. Again, nice touch by the author. The first thing I have to do is meet up with Murky, which is easy enough. Then I have to find the rent agreement, which is also surprisingly easy (and quick, especially considering the last mission). Mission Complete.

Mission 3:

So, I've saved myself from eviction, but Murky has grown bored with the indoor life. She wants my character to take her to the park so she can get some fresh air.

...Seriously. That's the mission. "Take Murky to the Park".

The mission outro warns of "interesting characters" in the park, so I enter the mission and am met with... Tuatha and Red Caps. Well, those ARE some interesting characters for a park, though maybe par for the course in Paragon City. My first objective is to find Murky... again. Luckily, this map isn't as large as the last outdoor map, so I find her a bit quicker. After freeing her from he Red Cap captors, my nav bar instructs me to find and destroy... a "Suburban Talisman". OK, I'm not sure what a "Suburban Talisman" is, but I'm sure the author has a funny, wacky description for it, and it'll tie in nicely with the rest of the arc. After a short time, I find the Suburban Talisman, check the description, which says: "This is a suburban talisman".

...

Alright, we might not know immediately what the Suburban Talisman is or why these "Suburban Park Dwellers" are worshipping it, but I'm sure that will all be explained later. I defeat the Talisman (which apparently talks and is able to call for backup) and complete the mission.

Mission 4:

So, it's time for Murky's annual checkup, but since our normal vet's not available, my character is bringing Murky to a new doctor.

...Um... OK?

I enter the mission... and it's another outdoors map. I check my nav bar, and once again my only objective listed is to find Murky. I turn the corner, and encounter a custom enemy group: "Nurses". The design is alright, but they all have the same description, and there's minimal difference in apparance between the minions and the lieutenants. Also, I only counted 1 minion and 1 lieutenant design each. Throughout the WHOLE MAP. Every once in a while I do encounter a custom boss, "Vet Tech"... but the vast majority of the map is the same model of minions and lieutenants, with 1 description for the minions and 1 descriptions for the lieutenants. I found myself fight the same mob so many times that I was actually able to memorize their descriptions. The description of all the minons is: "Who would agree to be a nurse intern for a backalley doctor. I guess these gals have no dignity". And the description of all the lieutenants is: "I don't know, but if my nurse had one eye I'd be worried". After slogging through the mission for more time than I care to remember, I finally find Murky again. Now my nav bar gives me a new objective "Defeat the Doctor". After siome more time, I finally find the doctor at the back of the map, and elite boss. His full description reads "This is the doctor, he's mean and he's unclean". I defeat the Doctor, but with his last breath he tells me that it's "too late for Murky". I now have a clue titled "Murky Feels Tired", and in the mission outro, Kaysa says that Murky doesn't look too good.

Mission 5:

So, Murky has to be rushed to the hospital, and it falls upon me to defeat the deadly disease she has. To save Murky, I have to fight Murky's disease.

...Alright... I'm... I'm just going to go with this...

I enter the mission expecting to be sent to a map that's symbollic of Murky's body, but instead I'm sent to a dark hospital. My nav bar instructs me to find "3 Clean Bills of Health" and "Defeat the Cancerous Sarcoma". Alright, I'm... not sure exactly HOW I'm helping Murky by doing all this, but I go ahead and look for any "Clean Bills of Health" I might find. I run into some "Hospital Workers", who are actually Praetorian minions (complete with their original descriptions), but make quick work of them and find all 3 "Clean Bills of Health" in the same room. At the top floor, I find the "Cancerious Sarcoma" himself. Desperate for some information about who or what the "Cancerious Sarcoma" is and how defeating him will help Murky, I check his decription, which reads: "The ultimate baddy, but he can be defeated".

...

OK, I give up. I defeat the Cancerious Sarcoma (along with the "Nurses" custom enemy group surrounding him) and complete the mission. Kaysa tells me that Murky is all better in the final mission outro. Arc Complete.

Final Thoughts:

Alright, here we go... the good points first. This arc had almost no spelling/grammar mistakes, and I get the distinct feeling that the author was going for "wacky comedy" with this story arc (though I could be wrong).

HOWEVER...

First of all, the contact for this arc, Kaysa. Who is she? What's her relationship with Murky? Why is she the contact for this arc? None of these questions are answered, or even explored, during the course of this story arc. It would be nice if the author could work her into the story arc somewhere, or at least have her introduce herself a little bit at the beginning of the arc.

Secondly, the storyline itself. As far as I can tell, the entirety of the story arc amounts to your character having wacky hijinks with Murky, with the final two missions actually putting Murky in some danger, which could have been a nice conclusion to the arc, EXCEPT...

Thirdly, the final mission. What, exactly, was my character DOING to make Murky well? The "Clean Bills of Health" make sense to a degree, but who or what was the "Cancerous Sarcoma"? An actual cancerous growth Murky had? Were we insider her body in the last mission, like I first thought? If so, why were the "Nurses" and "Hospital Workers" there? I have no idea, but I do have some suggestions as to how the author can make this clearer (see below).

Fourthly, there were many things throughout the arc I just didn't understand. In the first mission intro, Kaysa tells the player that the Carnies are breeding kittens for sale, but then the player learns that these "Kittens" can walk and talk, suggesting that they're not normal cats. If that's the case, what are they? In the thrid mission, the player goes into a weird "suburban" area, and destroys a "Suburban Talisman" without any idea what it is or why the Tuatha and Red Caps are praying to it. And the descriptions of the custom mobs and mission objectives give little to no information to the player; it would be REALLY nice to have those fleshed out more.

And finally, Murky herself. We never find out anything about the character the arc revolves around other than the fact that she likes to do cat-like things and has crazy adventures. Oh, and she was bred by the Carnies, and gets saved by our character.

Look... I'm not sure what the author was going for in this arc. I may be wrong, but it seems like this is the kind of arc that the author would run with friends and SG-mates that know the author's character and want to have said crazy adventures with her. If that's the case (and I'm sure the author will correct me if it isn't), then that's fine. Keep it the way it is, and only run it with your in-game and out-of-game friends. But I wouldn't suggest asking people who don't know your characters or know you personally to run this arc if that's the route you're taking.

If however, you want this arc to appeal to everyone, even if they don't know you, there IS potential for that to happen. It's going to take alot of time and work, however. I've made alot of suggestions that I honestly believe will help improve your arc; you can decide whether you want to actually implement them or not. However, I'd also suggest running your arc by other posters (there's a list of reviewers stickied to the first page of these boards), and getting THEIR feedback to your arc, as well. Hopefully, they'll give you helpful suggestions. Then, after running it by 5 - 10 reviewers (more or less; it's up to the author, of course), take all the feedback you've gathered and see if you can use it to improve your arc; how much (or little) you change is always up to you.

All that being said, if you DO make changes to your arc in the future, I would like to play it again and see if my opinion of it has changed. Your arc has potential; it just (in my opinion) hasn't been realized yet. I know that this arc can be a 4 or 5 star arc with enough time and effort, and I hope I can give it that score in the future, but right now...

Final Score: 2 Stars

*****

Alright, this thread is still open to anyone who wants to request reviews!

The use of words expressing something other than their literal intention.

Thanks for the review, BinkDeBook, glad to hear you'll be running my other arcs in the future

I'll run your arc sometime tomorrow, since I don't have time tonight. I'm looking forward to it

Thanks to airhead, I've corrected most of the spelling/grammar mistakes in my 2nd arc, so thanks again, airhead!

[ QUOTE ]
So I got lots of work, and a middling rating, but I look at the potential: I get to fix (hopefully) all the major problems in one go! Thanks, airhead

[/ QUOTE ]

No problem, airhead, glad to be of help

I didn't get a look at the souvenir yet, but I'll do so when I log on later and let you know what I think

Alright, since airhead reviewed my 2nd arc, my next review is another one of airhead's arcs

*****

Arc Name: The Amazing Rat Race

Author: Airhead

Character Used: Level 35 BS/Invuln Scrapper

Mission 1:

So, the contact for this story arc is a man named Rat Race. Apparently, my character should immediately trust him because he's "worked with people who've worked with Statesman" in the past. The mission intro isn't exactly clear, but apparently Rat Race wants someone named "Fairgo". Alright, I gues.

I enter the mission, and it's empty save for a computer. On the computer is Fairgo's employee record, and apparently he's done been embezzling money and selling secrets to Aeon. After that, some "Crey Janitors" show up, along with a destructible "lever" item. The description says... it's a lever. Destroying it, I encounter some "Ratters" accosting Fairgo. The designs of the "Ratters" are decent, but the descriptions are all the same. After defeating the Ratters, I talk briefly with Fairgo and find out his superpower is the ability to... make people feel good. Anyway, I lead him two feet to the mission entrance, and mission complete.

Mission 2:

So, it turns out that Farigo is actually an innocent party and the evil culprit is actually Rat Race, the contact. However, we're still going to work with Rat Race so we can keep an eye on him and mess up his plans. Rat Race's next evil plot is to get Fairgo at the "Villa Orfano", the oprhanage where he lives.

I enter the mission, and am met with Level 29 Family, presumably the highest level Family can go. The author might want to consider using the new "Mission Parameter" options in the level designer to lower this mission's level appropriately. However, the Family "Molls" that guard the orphanage con even level with my character. The designs of the "Molls" are nicely in line with the rest of the Family, though their descriptions only change the last sentence of the standard Family description. I have to point out that a couple non-required destuctable objects, "Toy Boxes" and "Fireworks", had hilarious descriptions. There's a custom Family Boss, "Matron Holicapo", towards the end of the mission that has a nice design, but lacks a detailed descrption like the other custom characters in this arc. I eventually find some boxes with Fairgo's files in them... the author might want to consider replacing the boxes with a computer or a file cabinet, unless there's a reason why the files are in boxes that I'm missing. Anyway, the files point out a "Suctin Veterans Clinic" where I might be able to find out more information on Fairgo. Mission complete.

Mission 3:

So, it turns out that Rat Race has finally realized my character's potential, and is offering me the chance of a lifetime: be a Rat Cage Cleaner. The lifestyle of the few and the proud, or at least of the few. Fortunately, my character wisely decides to check out "Suctin Veterans Clinic" instead.

I enter the mission and am met with a whole mish-mash of different enemy groups. The only common trait amongst the enemies is that they're all quantum or void hunters. If I was playing a Peacebringer or Warshade, I'd be having a heart attack right now. Fortunately, my scrapper is able to make it through the mission with little trouble, and at the end I find a "Middle-aged Nurse". Hoping to get more information, I look up her description... and am met with the generic text all hostages have. Defeating the enemies accosting her, I apparently get her phone number. Hopefully that will come into play later. The nav bar says there's an intruder in the lobby, so I make my way down and find Fairgo being held hostage again. I free him, and lead him two feet to the door... again. Fairgo now knows he came from Laos, so I just have to... wait, what? I check my clues, and apparently sometime between freeing the nurse and leading Fairgo out the nurse called me and let me know about Fairgo's past. Why couldn't she do that when I rescued her? What was the point of witholding that information for the 30 seconds it took me to walk downstairs? Anyway, with Fairgo safely out it's mission complete.

Mission 4:

Rat Race has decided to give me a second chance to help him in his personal vendetta against Fairgo. He's sent a whole bunch of Ratters to Laos, where he hopes to get Fairgo and his family in one swoop. Fortunately, he's sending my character to Laos as well to make sure the job gets done. Off I go to save Fairgo's family.

I enter the forested area the mission is set in only to find it crawling with Ratters. Normally this wouldn't be so bad, but the Ratters aren't a very diverse custom group. though given their theme it admittedly makes sense. As I make my way through the mission, I find some "friendly" Ratters who want to help Fairgo, though their appearance and descriptions are no different than the "non-friendly" Ratters I'm fighting. I find Fairgo's mother, who says that someone named "Pha Xiong" let Ratters eat her husband. I also find two "Ratrix" bosses on the map, who I have to defeat to complete the mission. However, by this time I have so many Ratter allies that I literally don't have to attack at all to defeat the bosses. I find Fairgo himself, and finally defeat Pha Xiong, who actually has a unique (and funny) description. His dialog is equally hilarious. Mission complete.

Mission 5:

With Fairgo safe and reunited with his family, the only thing left to do is bring Rat Race to justice.

I enter the mission, and surprisingly Rat Race appears as an ally. I defeat a few Ratters, pull up his employment file, complete the mission and... wait, what? I check my clues; no new clues, just mission complete. Rat Race is still an ally, but wait! My map shows me I have to lead Rat Race to the entrance. I do so, and Rat Race finally becomes an enemy boss. Unfortunately, he's not a very challenging boss, and after defeating him I leave the mission. I can't help but notice the final dialog box has a list of other people who've reviewed the arc.

Final Thoughts:

I'll start with the positive. There were little to no spelling/grammar mistakes in this arc, and the humor (as always with this author) was of the highest caliber I've found in any AE story arcs. Indeed, the comedy ended up being the only thing that saved what could have been a disaster (see below).

However, I personally found a number of flaws throughout the arc; most were small, but a few were very signifcant to the arc:

First of all, the Ratters. They're a decent custom group as long as they're mixed into a mission that's comprised mostly of other enemy group(s), but by themselves (i.e. in the 4th mission) I found they just didn't have enough diversity or detail to carry a mission. I got the impression that the author was going for a "truckload of rats" theme, and if that's true than the author succeeded in the 4th mission, but I'm just saying that personally I found that the whole "1 minion, 1 lieutenant, and 1 boss all with the same description" custom group boring and repetitive.

Second of all, the 3rd mission. I joked earlier in my review that if I were a Peacebringer or Warsharde I would have a heart attack upon entering the 3rd mission, but the truth is that (from what I could tell) the only way a Peacebringer or Warshade could POSSIBLY complete the 3rd mission is if they're in a group or they stealthed it, neither of which fits the "solo-friendly" detail this arc is tagged with. Furthermore, unless I'm missing something, there's really no reason WHY the 3rd mission has to be filled with quantums and voids; in fact, it's never mentioned again in the arc. Now, I could be off-base and the author has a VERY good reason why the 3rd mission has the enemies it does, I'm just saying that I don't see it.

Finally, there are a few things in the arc that just simply confuse me. Why does the player have to lead Fairgo to the door in the 1st mission? Why doesn't the nurse just tell you about Fairgo's parents instead of giving you her phone number and calling you almost immediately afterwards? Why do you have to lead Rat Race to the enrance of the last mission before you can fight him? Now, maybe I missed some crucial details, or there are some bugs in this arc that appeared when I15 hit the servers, but as it stands I just can't understand these decisions made by the author.

All that being said, I have to point out again that the comedy was definitely the highlight of this arc. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that the humorous clues and dialog are what single-handedly saved an arc that by all other accounts was 2-stars. I still have yet to find a more humorous MA author than airhead, and for that reason alone this arc gets:

Final Score: 3 Stars

*****

Alright, it looks like I have some more requests in this thread, so be sure to post your reviews of my arc(s) in my other thread, and I'll get to your arcs as soon as possible!

Anyone else who wants their arcs reviewed are welcome, as always!

[ QUOTE ]
You're comments on my Elite Hellions are very kind. If you ever want to try part 2, you will find the Elite Skulls are designed with a similliar style. I'd have liked to add a second LT, but as designed, the Elite Hellions take up a lot of space, and the arc is already at 97-98%. Of course, I'm not sure if the I15 changes give me enough space or not.

[/ QUOTE ]

The I15 changes gave all my arcs about 15-20% more storage space, so if it's the same for you then you shouldn't have a problem fitting in at least one more custom enemy if you want.

If the Elite Skulls are designed as well as the Elite Hellions, then I'd definitely run your 2nd arc. I hope my first arc was interesting enough for you to want to run my 2nd arc, too

Thanks for the great review, airhead!

I was going to review your other arc, but if you want me to re-reun your Captain Dynamic arc, I'll do that. Just let me know in my review thread or via PM which one you'd like me to do, and I'll run it.

Just letting everyone know that I've updated my existing arcs according to some of the feedback I've gotten in this thread, as well as some things I wanted to add/remove myself. Hope you like the changes!

Alright, time for my next review

*****

Arc Name: The King of Thieves: Part 1 All Hell's Breaking Loose

Author: Blood_Spectre

Character Used: Level 30 Elec/Elec Brute

Mission 1:

The contact for this arc is King Midas, leader of the Goldbrickers faction which appears prominently in CoV. While he is mentioned several times in various canon missions involving the Goldbrickers, I don't believe there's an official NPC character of him (though if I'm wrong, I'm sure someone will correct me). Based on that assumption, the author did a good job creating a very believable likeness for King Midas here, complete with gold, sparkling skin. Talking to him, I'm met with a short intro dialog telling me that King Midas needs my help to take on the Skulls and Hellions, who are causing trouble for his Goldbrickers. Now, I know this arc is made for levels 1-54, and the Skulls and Hellions only go to Level 15 (if I'm not mistaken), so I suspect that another villain group is involved somehow.

I enter the mission, and my character is in fact met with Hellions... kind of. These are "Elite Hellions", and they're actually a VERY well designed custom enemy group. The costume desings are varied but never stray from theme, and the descriptions for each NPC are unique and detailed, rather than the usual "all the same except for the last sentence" descriptions I usually see for custom groups. More on the custom group later; I find a pretty challenging custom boss at the end of the map, and I get a clue from one of the Elite Hellions that says they're planning to blow up the PTS. After exiting the mission, I get a pop-up that says that I managed to make the Hellions talk, though I'm not sure if this pop-up is necessary or not; though I suppose it could remind players to check their clue list, I don't know.

Mission 2:

So, naturally, Midas needs my help to prevent the Hellions from blowing up the PTS. I enter the mission, and discover that the Elite Hellions are using magic to blow up the facility rather than conventional explosives. I have to banish 5 demons to prevent the explosion; in this case, 5 named bosses. I defeat all the demons, and find "a burnt parchmet" (I don't know whether or not the author meant to have the "a" in that clue capitalized or not), and the dialog King Midas gives after I complete the mission suggests that there's a demon within the mountain the PTS is built on.

Mission 3:

So, it looks like Arachnos has gotten involved, and Midas doesn't like that. Since Midas would rather handle this whole matter himself, he's going to set things up so that I kill an arbiter and make it look like the Hellions did it. All I have to do is plant a bomb on the Arachnos flyer the arbiter is riding.

I enter the mission, and am only met with 2 patrols of Elite Hellions. Planting the bomb (the author might want to consider making the "bomb" glowie translucent; it gives more of a sense that the player is "planting" the bomb on the flyer and not just interacting with a bomb that's already there), I turn around and am met with an "Arbiter Roman"! Again, very nice design by the author, though I'm a bit disappointed that Arbiter Roman's description isn't as detailed as the Elite Hellions. Nevertheless, I defeat her and the remaining Arachonos solders and complete the mission. I also get the name of a demon, "Belial", who appears to be the source of the Hellions newfound demonic powers. In the previous missions, I've face a named boss named "Bel", so I wonder if "Belial" is Bel's full name.

Mission 4:

Midas decides it's time to ask a group with more experience and knowledge of the arcane than the Golbrickers: the Circle of Thorns. Unfortunately, it seems the Hellions have the same idea, and Belial may want to strike a deal with them for help, or at least to stay out of their way. So, my character's going to have to go in and take what we need by force.

There are a number of objectives in the mission, along with a few spelling errors (on the "Scroll of Making" clue, I think by "atar" the author meant "altar", and on the "Handful of Sulfur" clue, I think "dem" should be "demon"). I don't take off points for spelling/grammar mistakes (unless they're rampant throughout the arc, and in this arc they're not); but I do point them out to authors so they can correct them. Nothing ruins a tense or dramatic clue in an arc quite like a typo, and I always appreciate it when a reviewer points out them out in my arcs. Anyway, at the end of the mission I encounter a new custom enemy, an ice demon named "Auriel". Once again, incredible costume design by the author, but like Arbiter Roman, not alot of detail in the description. After defeating Auriel and finding the last clue, I check over my clue list and realize that my character used the clues in the mission to construct a gold chain that will bind an archdemon.

Mission 5:

With the magical gold chain in our posession, we can now bind Belial. Midas states very clearly in the dialog that he wants the demon alive.

I enter the mission, expecting to enter a charred, burning forest, but instead am faced with just a normal forest. This is bit awkward, since in the intro dialog Midas mentioned how "Vagabond Hills was on fire", so I'm wondering why the author didn't use the Burning Forest map for this mission; it just seems very appropriate. After defeating a few groups, I finally find Belial, I'm guessing an Archvillain (I'm not playing on the highest difficulty) turned Elite Boss. I carefully wittle down the Elite Hellions surrounding him before moving on to Belial himself. He's a very challenging enemy, and I end up using almost all my inspirations defeating him. Mission complete, and I turn over the subdued Belial to King Midas.

Final Thoughts:

First of all, I have to point out that the "Elite Hellions" are one of the most well-designed custom groups I've encountered in an AE story arc. In all, I counted 4 custom minions, 1 custom lieutenant, 1 custom boss, and 1 custom archvillain. The author wisely chose to make the minions the most varied in the group, since making more lieutenants and bosses than minions (or in some arcs I've played, making no minions at all) is one of the things that alot of authors seem to do, not realizing that minions are the ones who will likely show up more than any other custom character they create, making them the most in need of diversity. Still, (and this is just a suggestion), it would have been nice to have at least one more lieutenant in the group, making the Elite Hellions have a nice 4-2-1-1 heirarchy of characters. I'm not sure how much space the author has left in the arc, but since I15 the amount of storage space has effectively "increased" (I know they found better ways to compress the files, but the result is same).

I'll be honest: In my opinion, all this arc needs is a little bit of tweaking and it'll be a solid 5-star arc. The only major problem I had was Belial's introduction to the arc: He's first mentioned at the end of Mission 3, said to be meeting with the CoT in Mission 4 (though the CoT only appear very briefly at the end of the mission), and then you have to fight him in Mission 5. If the author mentioned Belial a little earlier, it wouldn't have felt like I was being rushed into a boss fight at the end of the arc. Even just mentioning Belial in passing (say, for example, have a patrol in the first mission mention Belial's name) would have been better than the "Hey, there's this really bad dude named Belial who you have to watch out for and look there he is go fight him" feeling I had at the end of the arc. Now, if the author DID mention Belial earlier and I just missed it, I owe Blood_Spectre an apology, but as it stands that's my only major problem with this arc, along with the small details I've already mentioned in this review.

That being said, I have to mention Blood_Spectre's custom characters one last time. Even though they aren't my personal taste, they were the highlight of the arc for me. I'd gladly play another arc that has custom characters designed by this author. A solid 4.0 stars.

Final Score: 4 Stars

*****

Alright, since I've finished all the people who've requested a review thusfar in this Thread, I'm opening it up again. Anyone who wants their arc reviewed, feel free to request it

[ QUOTE ]
I liked it. The final mission really would benefit from having the timer removed though.

Finding a hidden glowie and rescuing a hostage on a multi layer Arachnos map full of healers can be time consuming. With the timer in place, I didn't get to fully enjoy reading the clues, which are a big part of what makes this arc enjoyable.

[/ QUOTE ]

Done. To be honest, I've been contemplating removing the timer from the last mission of the first arc for some time now; considering the fact that NONE of the missions in my other arcs have timers, and that the next arc assumes that the player successfully rescued Manticore, the timer really doesn't add anything to the mission. I was originally trying to create a sense of urgency for the last mission, hence the 30-minute time limit, but... eh. There's just not enough to justify the timer's existence in the last mission.

But thanks for the review, Blood_Spectre! I'm glad you liked my first arc. I'll be reviewing your arc in my review thread either tonight or tomorrow, and I hope I enjoy your arc as much as you enjoyed mine.

Alright, even though he didn't make a formal request in this Thread, airhead did review my first arc, so as promised, here's my review of one of his arcs!

*****

Arc Name: Captain Dynamic, the Great, Faces the Great Face

Author: airhead

Character Used: Level 50 DB/WP Scrapper

Mission 1:

The first thing I notice is that Captain Dynamic, the main character from the live action "Mission Architect" tutorial videos is the contact for this arc. The author did a good job of re-creating Capt. Dynamic's likeness with the costume creator, though I (personally) never found Cap. Dynamic as funny as some of the other posters on this board. It's safe to say that with a contact like Cap. Dynamic, this story arc is probably going to be light-hearted and comedic, which seems to be the goal for most of the arcs I play. Whether the creator of the story arc achieves that goal is another matter, as I've played plenty of story arcs where the "comedy" falls flat. Hopefully, this won't be one of those arcs.

So, I read the intro dialog, and it seems that Cap. Dynamic and the Great Face (Captain Dynamic's arch-enemy) have finally gotten their story arc together, which is a nice tie-in from what they were trying to accomplish in the mission architect tutorial videos. Cap. Dynamic is going to use my character as a stand-in for himself, since my powers are "similar" to his own. Considering the fact that we never really see what Cap. Dynamic's powers are in the tutorial videos, there's no problem with this statement. I like the different text colors the author used to highlight the various plot points and mission objectives, it's a subtle but nice touch to the dialog.

So, I enter the first mission, and it's an auto-exemp to level 1 for all characters involved. Considering the mission is to "save the cat", thereby "saving the world" (a shout-out to NBC's "Heroes"), it's seems appropriate for a Level 1 hero. With no villains in sight, I unlock the "high-tech catbox" and the invisible cat jumps out and runs back to it's owner, a girl named "Mindy". As I try to make my way back through the mission, apparently a "badmobile" van is blocking my way, and I have to escort Mindy to the mission entrance before the evil villains figure out how to open the badmobile doors in such a confined space... did I mention this arc is light-hearted and comedic? I try to destroy the badmobile, but I can't attack it. I try to jump over it, but get stuck in the map geomotry. /Stuck to the rescue... and I'm back at the mission entrance, somehow. I find Mindy, escort her to the entrance, and mission complete.

Reading the return dialog text, Cap. Dynamic mentions Snakes, who apparently were supposed to be in the mission. It's probably a mission bug, so I won't hold it against the author.

Mission 2:

So, one of the snakes that I didn't fight in the last mission mentioned a "B.H", who Cap. Dynamic determines MUST be Archon Burkeholder of the Council. Apparently, he's planning to make the powerful yet cumbersome Rikti armor more flexible by using "techy taffy". As he sends me off, the mission dialog is interrupted by hackers from western Europe who like to use big, bold, red italicized letters calling themselves the "Euronators". These Euronators seem to be led by someone named "Captain Slippery".

So, I enter the mission, and immediately spot a Council minion who looks just like Cap. Dynamic. The description lists him as a normal Council minion, but from his dialog it's obviously a very confused Cap. Dynamic. After defeating the Council-Minion Dynamic, I turn the corner and see... more Council-Dyamics. Though their descriptions are the same as the Council minions they're listed as, the each have unique (and admittedly humorous) dialog, which is a nice touch. On a side note, alot of the dialog thusfar from the contact of this arc has seemed a bit out of character for Captain Dynamic, but these Dynamic-clones seem to have personalities much closer to the way Cap. Dynamic is portrayed in the tutorial videos.

So, halfway into the mission, I encounter the "Euronators" who were mentioned in the mission intro. Apparently, the Euronators are robots who do bad things to people who break the law. I like this custom group's overall design, though the descriptions of the individual robots are more or less identical save for the last sentence. I defeat the Euronators and find some Rikti in the back of the mission. I defeat the Rikti, and mission complete.

Mission 3:

Cap. Dynamic decides the only way to deal with the threat of the Euronators is to temporarily team up with his arch-enemy, Great Face. The intro dialog is soon hacked by the Euronators again, however, and I enter the mission.

Once inside, I find the Great Face being held prisoner by some Rikti. It's interesting to note that, unlike Cap. Dynamic, Great Face doesn't resmeble his tutorial video counterpart; rather, he appears as a Rikti with a darkened face. After freeing Great Face from the Rikti, he tells my character "not to read his E-Mails". Where are his E-Mails? Well, they're in recycle bins. Because in a compter... yes, I get it. Clever joke by the author, though to be honest I peronally didn't find the E-Mails themselves to be that funny. I do have to applaud the author, however, for adding one of the mission objectives in the nav windom as "KILL GREAT FACE" in the same big, bold, red letters the Euronators use. That was a nice touch. I make my way to the end of the mission, defeat the Rikti raid leader and Euronator robots, and... the mission's not over. I go back down, and find Great Face once again being held prisoner by Rikti. I free him again, and he tells me to go back up. Once back at the end of the mission, I find Captain Slippery, along wth a bunch of his Euronator robots. By the way, I didn't get the whole "Euronator = Urinator" joke until just now, so kudos to the author for pointing it out. I defeat Captain Slippery, and finsih the mission. Arc complete.

Final Thoughts:

I'll be honest: I really didn't know what I was going to rate this arc. My opinion of it literally changed from mission to mission. Usually, it's the little details (or lack thereof) that take away from my enjoyment of what, at it's core, is a good arc. This time, however, I found it was the little details (which were VERY well-done by the author) that added to the overall experience of what could have been just a mediocre arc.

The arc was well-written, the comedy was very well executed compared to the other "comedic" arcs I've played, and the small details (such as the colored font and the clever visual gags) really were the highlight of this arc in my opinion. However, the main storyline itself seemed to suffer at times, and the advancement of the plot seemed rushed in some places and slowed to a crawl in others. Also, the transition from beginning to end seemed forced and abrupt, which left me confused at times as to what was happening.

By the end of the arc, I was literally shifting between 3 stars and 4 stars every second. In the end, it was actually the very last dialog box that sealed this arc's score. If I had to give an exact score, this Arc would be 3.5 stars, but thanks to the nice conclusion the author wrote...

Final Score: 4 Stars

*****

Alright, I've still got 3 spots open for review requests! Any takers?

[ QUOTE ]
The Galactic Protectorate - 01, #47143, @Unknown Hero

Each of the trilogy has 3 missions, making them quite manageable. My overall opinion this time is at the end.

First thing I notice, the first arc is classified as "Final". I still hope that this feedback might have some use. Normally I vote based on potential, since authors typically use feedback to good effect. What should I do here?

Other-Synapse is still called Synapse. I wonder, since he's otherworldly, if there could be a very slight twist on his name.
That might immediately draw me into the context. Er-Synapse? Pronapse? Other-Synapse? *cough* Best I stop trying. You should also add a contact description in the Story Summary page, it'll show when you Ask about this contact.

Mission titles aren't used. Not required, but it tends to add structure to the arc (get a sense of where you are, how much book/movie remains).

So, I'm being asked to help by a contact manipulating the AE system. This is a common gambit now in the game, but that's okay, there's only so many ways to finish a chocolate jigsaw. And I'm off to liberate captives! On a big map...

Looks like I'm being introduced to a bunch of locals. Good. Hopefully they'll communicate the nature of this dimension.

Equator Engineer's description mentions planet Eden, is this Eden? I learn of a Lord Cosmic, with Generals. General Lucius commands 7th Division, not sure who commands Division 0. Perhaps Lord Cosmic himself? The enemies have about as much variety as the Rikti. For the consistency Erik seeks, you could break them into logical posse like the Rikti are (headman gunman with monkeys, comm officer with infantry, etc).
Star Slinger description: exerperience -> experience
Hydro Healer description: seperates -> separates
Nurse Perkins description: Reistance -> Resistance
Mayor Bruckenmeier description: Plaenetary -> Planetary
Despite meeting the resistance, who work with heroes, I have only one clue to show for the first mission, one I apparently found myself. Intriguing clue though!

The second mission, and Synapse changes "prisoners" into "hostages" - a little disconcerting. Sort of sounds the same, but if the contact is not unequivocal then it translates into doubt.
I'm off to steal and destroy. Stealth time!
So there's 12 Divisions (12 Generals) and Eden is the home planet. Hmm. Earth did something to incur this wrath. Have to find out what.

Nice description on Comet Commander.
Man, tough information gathering session that. Definitely not worth trying to run from the ambushes...
Mission 2 return: thougt -> thought

Awesome, third mission is timed.

Mission 3 send-off: giong -> going (typing fast, this is timed!)
M3 entry popup: wall -> walls
What exactly are the Galactic Protectorate's signature colors? Blue and white, like their uniforms?
Big ol' battle to free the captive! Nice description on my captive.
Found an Easter Egg that wasn't in my nav, nice. Dreadful way to win...
Aftermath Clue: agression -> aggression

Overall, in this first arc, I oriented, learned-and-contributed, then contributed. I like this other dimension, it's intriguing. I do wonder why the Protectorate soldiers are all female, it'd be nice to explain that. Otherwise, they seem to be a kind of wimpy choice (shouldn't they be in battle armor to the gills like some Rikti? Perhaps they're supposed to appease humans with their appearance?). The first arc is mostly self-contained, need to highlight the climax, and perhaps foreshadow that rescuing Manticore is the whole reason Synapse contacted you in the first place (by the beginning of mission 3 - chapter/mission titles might help?). But for sheer scale of endeavor, it's great! For quality dialog and evolving plot, I rate this a potential 5-stars.

Looking forward to the second arc. If you like, you can review one of the arcs in my sig. One is an origin story with small-scale goals (1144), the other is... complicated (190069). Play whatever you think you might actually like

Cheers, airhead

[/ QUOTE ]

Thanks for the feedback, airhead! Glad to hear you really enjoyed my arc

I'll run and review one of your arcs either tonight or tomorrow and post the review in my review thread

[ QUOTE ]
The Galactic Protectorate 01.

Still running this, I ran out of time before I had to leave for work. I finished the first mission. My thoughts thus far.

- This is not a neutral mission. It's very clearly heroic. Saving yourself from a danger that may threaten you in the future is not villainous. Even if it was, you wouldnt do it by rescuing civil servants that you have never met. It's a fine bit of Heroism, but not Neutrel as was advertised.

- I like the diverse custom enemies. I think they all hang together on theme, and are well fleshed out. This counts for a lot with me.

- However, you might want to cut back on the number of healers. I'm not made of endurance, and I cant target the healer first when there are 3 in every spawn.

- I get that nothing says "distopic alternate earth" like a ruined Atlas Park. It's not the most fun place to have to find 4 hostages though.

-Mega points for having the decency not to make me escort the hostages back to the nigh impossible to find entrance to this map though. That would have lead to a ragequit.

-Overall I think it's a good effort and solid theme, and I am curious to see how the rest of it plays out. More to follow as I get more time to play.

[/ QUOTE ]

Glad you like the arc so far, Blood_Spectre

Hope the rest of the arc doesn't disappoint you

[ QUOTE ]
The Doctor is a canon character, not an author insert. She figures significantly in Gordon Stacy's missions.

Executable Number Six is also a canon character.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ah, thanks Venture. I've never played any of Gordon Stacy's missions, so I have to apologize to FredrikSvanberg for incorrectly labeling that character. That bumps up Fredrik's arc to 3.0 stars, so it looks like I rated it correctly, after all