Mirror_Man

Thanks for the great review of "The Galactic Protectorate - 05", PoliceWoman

I never really intended for the 8th Division to come off as "silly space rockers", but I can see how you might come to that conclusion. To be honest, the 8th Division of the Galactic Protectorate WAS much more "traditional" in its dress code and internal policies when the previous general was in command, but (as I tried to establish in the brief amount of dialog she has in the arc) Sonica has much more of a "laid back" attitude with her subordinates. The result, of course, is the "lax" appearance and "shallowness" of all of the members of the current 8th Division. To be fair, I did try and design each enemy in the group to reflect a specific genre of music; I'm not sure if you caught that or not. I put references to all of this in the descriptions of the "Satellite Sirens" and the officers in the group, but I understand how easy that can be to overlook.

Oh, by the way, you seem to have the wrong Arc ID# for my next arc in your list. It should be Arc ID# 355068 for "The Galactic Protectorate - 06" I look forward to your review of my next arc!

Thanks for the review of my fourth "Galactic Protectorate" arc, PoliceWoman I'm glad you enjoyed this "chapter" more than you did the previous one

It's true that all of the Galactic Protectorate soldiers you've faced and are going to face in the Galactic Protectorate arcs are Lilans from the planet Eden. I hinted at this in "The Galactic Protectorate - 01" with one of the optional clues in the second mission and the "Equator Engineer" description, but it's only in this arc that I really expanded on it

You also seemed to miss the last clue. When you defeat Camellia, she leaves a clue which corresponds directly with General Adonis' clue, so it's a little disappointing that you seemed to miss it. Of course, it's possible you DID see it, but didn't mention it in your review; if that's the case, I'm sure you'll correct me

In any case, thanks again for the review; I look forward to your review of "The Galactic Protectorate - 05"

It's been awhile since I last posted a review, and this thread is (unfortunately) still closed for the time being, but hopefully that will change by the end of this month

Anyway, since The_Hound ran through and provided some nice feedback for my first "Galactic Protectorate" arc, I'm going to do an "in-depth" review of one of The_Hound's arcs today

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Arc Name: Praetorian Ambition

Author: The_Hound

Character Used: Level 43 Electric Melee / Electric Armor Brute

Mission 1: Prove Your Worth

The contact for this arc is Anti-Matter, a Praetorian I rarely see used in the AE System, so this was a nice change of pace. Anti-Matter makes it clear to the player from the beginning that his goal is nothing less than the conquest of Primal Earth, and he needs the player's character to help achieve that end. The first task given to the player is to rescue at least three scientists from a Portal Corporation lab under attack by the Circle of Thorns. As an aside, I like the different text colors the author uses throughout the arc to highlight the objectives and the names of the Praetorians.

Inside the mission, I quickly find the first scientist and rescue him from the Circle of Thorns. I expected I would have to lead him to the exit, but surprisingly he left on his own. While I'm sure there are many players who prefer not having to lead hostages through maps, Anti-Matter stated in the mission send-off that he would have his minions waiting for them outside, so I personally found it a little disappointing that we never get to "see" that in dialog or clues. Anyway, rescuing the last scientist triggers an ambush, which I quickly dispatch and then proceed to exit the mission. The mission outro makes it clear that Anti-Matter has already spoken with the scientists, and learned a great deal about Primal Earth, the Freedom Phalanx, and his alternate self, Positron.

Mission 2: Jealous Arrangements

The next step in Anti-Matter's plan involves Neuron, Anti-Matter's rival for Emperor Cole's good graces. More specifically, it involves Neuron's greatest creation, Siege. It turns out, Neuron's planning to create another Siege android, equal in power to the original. Anti-Matter is going to send the player's character to destroy this new Siege android before it can be built, thus not only hindering Neuron's "lead" on Anti-Matter, but also making it look like Primal Earth has launched an attack against Neuron, which will help Anti-Matter in the next phase of his plan.

My task is simple: find the four crates which contain the parts of the new Siege android, and destroy them. The mission is primarily filled with Siege's minions, but the crates themselves are guarded by Neuron's minions. Regardless, I easily find and destroy the four crates, thus completing the mission. Returning to Anti-Matter, it seems all has gone according to plan, as Neuron has sent Siege to obliterate Paragon City, the "home of Portal Corporation".

Mission 3: The World Has Ears

With Siege unknowingly leading the charge, Anti-Matter plans to teleport his forces to Primal Earth to stage an attack on Paragon City. However, before he can launch his assault, he first needs to neutralize a Longbow outpost before they can call in reinforcements. Anti-Matter is relying on the player's character to infiltrate the outpost, find the base commander, and "destroy his pathetic life" (the author might want to consider changing that line to "end his pathetic life", as I think that sounds less awkward; just a suggestion).

As I enter the mission, the first thing I notice is that the Longbow base is basically completely empty, save for the base commander and guards at the end of the mission. After defeating "Commander Rochen" and his guards, I get a clue (first clue of the arc, it turns out) which states: It's a Trap! and Longbow has been expecting me. Furthermore, Longbow knows of my involvement with Anti-Matter and has laid this trap specifically to capture me. This is made all the more obvious as the mission is now filled with Longbow, and I now have to take out the "Ambush Leader", which turns out to be a Longbow Ballista named "Lt. Gillon". After a long fight, I emerge victorious and return to Anti-Matter, who comments that Primal Earth isn't as "stupid" as he thought, and commends me for escaping capture.

Mission 4: The Invasion

Anti-Matter has began to teleport his minions to Primal Earth, and has sent Nightstar to assist Siege in the... well... siege of Paragon City, but there is one obstacle left in his path to victory. Well, three obstacles left, as it were. Three of the Vindicators (Ms. Liberty, Swan, and Valkyrie) are aiding the Longbow forces, and it falls upon the player's character to help turn the tide of battle back in Anti-Matter's favor. Of course, both Siege and Nightstar will help once the player finds them.

After entering the mission, I quickly find Nightstar and rescue her. Once I've done that, I search for the Vindicators, but run into Siege first. Once I have both of my allies, the rest of the mission is incredibly easy. Both Siege and Nightstar are powerful enough to take out any enemy (including the Vindicators) with little or no help from me, and there are wandering Anti-Matter minions which are also my allies, making the mission much easier than it would have been otherwise. Once the last Vindicator falls, I get a mission complete clue which describes a large reinforcement of Longbow, as well as the Freedom Phalanx themselves, who arrive to push back Anti-Matter's minions. My character flees the "losing battle", knowing Anti-Matter will be upset that his plans have failed. Anti-Matter is indeed upset, but admires how "useful" my character was, and gives me a medallion as a sign of my "loyalty to the Praetorian Guard". He muses that my character "might be able to surpass Emperor Cole one day". Story Arc Complete.

Final Thoughts

All things considered, this was a very straight-forward, enjoyable arc. There weren't many clues (in fact, I only counted two throughout the entire arc), but the story surprisingly turned out just fine despite that. Of course, I do have some nitpicks

Fist of all, I found it a bit surprising that Anti-Matter didn't know all that much about Primal Earth, the Freedom Phalanx, or Positron before the player's character brings back the Portal Corporation scientists. It was to my understanding (though I may be mistaken) that Anti-Matter and the rest of the Praetorians learned a great deal about Primal Earth during the hero-side high-level Praetorian story arcs in the main game. If I recall correctly, both Anti-Matter and Neuron invade a lab in Primal Earth Paragon City during one of Tina Macintyre's missions. So, it seemed just a bit odd to me that Anti-Matter wouldn't know at least that much about Primal Earth. Of course, it's possible that this arc takes place before those events, but if that's the case, the author might want to consider pointing that fact out at the beginning of the arc.

Second of all, the third mission. While (I think) I understood the basic premise of attacking the Longbow outpost, there was little to no explanation as to how Longbow knew that I was collaborating with Anti-Matter, just that they did. It's not vitally important to explain how, I know, but it would be nice if the author expanded on that point a bit. Also, the wording gave me the impression that Anti-Matter was teleporting his minions right next to a Longbow base (or in the general area, at least), and I needed to take out the outpost to prevent them from calling in reinforcements. However, reinforcements are called in at the end of the final mission anyway (again with no explanation), which seemed to invalidate the player's actions in the previous mission. Again, I don't mind this occurring, it would just be nice to get some explanation as to how. Ms. Liberty mentions reinforcements when the player defeats her, so perhaps adding a clue after her defeat would help.

Finally, the clue at the end of the last mission. While the writing nicely describes the events that happen, this is one instance where it might actually be better to SHOW the player a scenario rather than describe it in text. This is just a suggestion, but with both Siege and Nightstar as allies, along with the wandering Anti-Matter minions, it would be interesting if the author added several members of the Freedom Phalanx to fight (guarded by Longbow, of course) after the Vindicators' defeat. Of course, I don't know how much free file space this arc has left, so (as with all of my suggestions) it's completely up to the author.

Overall, I would recommend this arc for anyone who's impatiently waiting for "Going Rogue". The ending more or less "sets up" the player for the events that will be occurring once the expansion comes out, and it gives villainous characters another "big name" villain to work under. If I had to give an exact score, I'd say this arc is a solid 4.5 stars, but as it is...

Final Score: 5 Stars

Thanks for the review, PoliceWoman I'm sorry to hear you didn't like this arc as much as you did the previous "Galactic Protectorate" arcs

One of my main goals with the "Galactic Protectorate" series was to create a story that didn't fall into the usual "black" and "white" type of morality that players usually find in the main game. There's a reason all of the arcs are labeled "Neutral" rather than "Heroic" or "Villainous"

I notice that you took off a fraction of a point for Sister Psyche being "out of character", when really my intent with most of Sister Psyche's dialog in this arc was to portray just how much this alternate Sister Psyche differed from the one most players are familiar with. I can understand if you were "put off" by her, however

I can understand if you were frustrated with the custom group. However, there was only one minion (out of four) with /Empathy, and only one lieutenant (out of three) with /Pain, so I'm a bit confused as to how you thought the group was "heavy on healing". To be honest, I'd love to cut down on the web grenades, but they're a required power of /Devices, so if I took it away they wouldn't give experience

In any case, I hope you like the next "Galactic Protectorate" arc more than this one. I look forward to your next review!

Thanks for the great review of my second "Galactic Protectorate" arc, PoliceWoman! I'm glad you enjoyed the characters in the arc, even if you weren't thrilled about the story

The only nitpick about your review I have is the "continuity error" regarding Synapse in mission 2. It's... not exactly a continuity error, considering that the Steven Berry of the dimension the story takes place in WAS a scientist before becoming Synapse. The dialogue was more to confirm to players who knew of regular-Synapse's past that the alternate-Synapse in these arcs has a different past than the Synapse they're familiar with. I did try to foreshadow that fact when Manticore hints that it was Synapse who designed the interdimensional gateway in the first mission of this arc, but I admit I should probably make that clearer to the player

While the alternate dimension this story takes place in might seem to be almost identical to Primal Earth at first glance, as observant a reviewer as you are, you'll probably notice several other things which seem "out of place" in the coming Galactic Protectorate arcs. Thanks again, and I look forward to your review of "The Galactic Protectorate - 03"

So, for those who haven't seen it on the main page yet, we have three new Guest Author Arcs in the MA System

I've set up this thread for any posters in this section of the forum who have run through any of these arcs and want to share their throughts on them

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Arc Name: Mystery on the Boardwalk

Author: Mercedes Lackey

Arc ID#: 369275

Arc Description: Unbelievable Man is stuck on the phone with his needy girlfriend, so the Heroic ATemps Temp Agency has sent you over to handle this. It's only a little haunting, how hard can it be?

*****

Arc Name: A Little Night Music

Author: Troy Hickman

Arc ID#: 369271

Arc Description: Citadel needs your assistance. The Fifth Column have resurrected the dreaded WWII villain Nachtmusik, and he in turn has kidnapped Jimmy Preston. Citadel needs you to enter the dreamworld and save his young friend...and hopefully the world. You say you're not afraid? You will be...

*****

Arc Name: Return of the Crime Cabal

Author: Austin Grossman

Arc ID#: 369272

Arc Description: A routine distress call leads you into the conspiracy between three oddly mismatched villains - a dark wizard, a technologically enhanced agent, and a brilliant scientist. They seek to mingle the forces of magic and science to gain control of an ancient god from deep beneath the Earth's crust. But to oppose the Cabal it is necessary to understand its story, the forces that gave three very different people their superpowers and turned them to evil. The things that brought them together, and the things tearing them apart.

Alright, it's been awhile since I posted a review, and this thread is still temporarily closed for the time being, but I did have enough time to run through ArrowRose's arc today

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Arc Name: The Greater Good

Author: ArrowRose

Character Used: Level 50 Dual Blades / Willpower Scrapper

Mission 1: The Heist

Right from the arc description, the author lets the player know that there are going to be some discrepancies between what their character does in this arc and what their character would "normally" do, which I thought was a nice heads-up for players who usually don't like arcs like this. The contact for this arc is a custom character named "Angela Goodheart", who I thought was designed nicely (even if I found her bio lacking, though that's just one of the many things about the contact which I found confusing; more on that at the end of this review). The mission begins with some backstory, as the author informs the player that their character's mentor, "Captain Courageous", thought that there were many "needy people" not getting enough help, and he sends the player's character to a "Dr. Allura" to discuss this matter further. After several months, Dr. Allura eventually sends you to Angela Goodheart, where the first mission "officially" begins.

Goodheart informs you that you are now a candidate for "The Greater Good", an organization of heroes who think of themselves as modern-day Robin Hoods. Appropriate, considering the first mission involves the player's character literally robbing from the rich to give to the poor. Goodheart informs my character that my first task is to rob a bank, but reassures me that the bank I'm robbing from is a "rich man's" bank, and that statement is quite literal: The money I am to steal belongs to a "Mr. Richman", a "greedy man who only helps himself".

Naturally, the mission takes place in bank, which seems to be guarded by Longbow. After making my way to the vault, I find 3 safes which contain the money I'm looking for. In one of the safes, however, I find a crumpled piece of paper with the words "Seek the Greater Good" scribbled on it. After completing the mission, Goodheart assures me that the money my character has stolen will help many people.

Mission 2: Prison Break

It turns out that the leaders of the Greater Good were so impressed with my bank heist that my character has been given an even more important assignment: Breaking a "Mr. Worthington" out of prison. Mr. Worthington is the founder of the Greater Good, but was "framed" and placed in the Zig. It falls upon me to break this "wrongly convicted" man out of jail.

Of course, the Paragon Police don't see things quite the same way, but I'm still able to make it to Worthington's cell and free him from his captors. After freeing Worthington, however, I find another crumpled note which reads: "Things are not always what they seem". Regardless, Goodheart congratulates my character on returning their founder to them.

Mission 3: The Kidnapping

So, it turns out that my next assignment is to kidnap the daughter of Mr. Richman, the man I stole money from in the first mission. Once I've kidnapped Mr. Richman's daughter, "Nikki", the Greater Good plans to use the ransom money they get from her to "help many people". Goodheart states that Nikki is "a spoiled brat", and that getting kidnapped will "be a good learning experience" for her. She also informs me that Mr. Richman has hired some "shady people" to protect his daughter.

It turns out that the "shady people" Mr. Richman hired are in fact the Family, and as I make my way through the mission, I come across a file cabinet with another crumpled note, this one reading: "The truth is out there". Sometime later, I come across a book case which contains yet another crumpled note, this one quoting the famous Sherlock Holmes line: "When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth". In any case, I finally reach Nikki Richman, whose bio and dialogue confirm that she is indeed a "spoiled brat". As before, Goodheart thanks me for my assistance.

Mission 4: The Truth

After all of my "accomplishments", Goodheart informs me that I'm ready to become a "full member" of the Greater Good. She gives me her card, which she claims has her cell phone number on the back. However, the corresponding clue states that Goodheart has given my character a key in addition to her card, on the back of which is not her cell phone number, but a note informing me that the desk the key unlocks contains the truth. Goodheart informs me that Mr. Worthington is throwing an office party to celebrate my character's induction, and that I should hurry.

Inside the mission, I come across the custom group "The Greater Good", most of whom seem to be busy partying and pose no threat. I find a locked desk, which I open with the key Goodheart gave me, and inside is a detonator along with an envelope. The envelope contains yet another note, this one telling me to log onto the main computer (the password is "Farce", apparently) and read the file "Project Robin Hood". At the end of the mission, I find the computer I'm looking for, along with the corresponding file. It turns out, "Project Robin Hood" is based on the infamous Robert Lifton's theories regarding brainwashing, which Mr. Worthington has used on heroes to create the members of the Greater Good. The file also states that the brainwashing process Mr. Worthington uses is irreversible. After finding and defeating Mr. Worthington himself, a note falls out of his pocket, listing several assassination targets he had set up for the former heroes he converted. My final task is to set up bombs throughout the entire map, with members of the Greater Good attempting to stop me every time I planted a bomb. Oddly enough, the Greater Good members that were my allies when I first entered the mission still are, and they even fight the Greater Good members trying to stop me if they get close enough. After planting all the bombs, I ext the mission just before the entire organization goes up in flames. I return to find Angela Goodheart crying, and she informs me that many people will wonder if my character's a hero or a villain after this, but she tells me that my character will "always be a hero" to her. Story Arc complete.

Final Thoughts:

Alright, knowing that this arc was originally an entry into Dr. Aeon's Challenge, I have to admit that at first I thought that the whole "doing evil for the greater good" premise was pretty heavy-handed (I mean, look at the name of the custom group) until I got to the last mission. The fact that the author was able to create a resoultion to the story while maintaining the theme was pretty clever, and, having reviewed this author's previous arc, shows just how far this author has come with the AE system and storywriting in general.

However, I did find some minor flaws I'll address now. First of all, the beginning of the arc seems unnecessary. The author mentions "Captain Courageous", who introduces the player's character to "Dr. Allura", who in turn introduces the player's character to the contact for this arc. Why? Neither of these characters are seen or even mentioned again throughout the course of this arc, and it seems like their only purpose is to introduce the player to Angela Goodheart. But the arc description states that the player's character might be doing things they don't normally do throughout this arc, so why not just have the player's character decide to check out "The Greater Good" organization from the outset? I've played several other arcs which have the player's character do much more "out of character" actions to begin an arc, and none of those had warnings in their descriptions

Second of all (and much more nit-picky), the dialogue. While most of the dialogue in this arc is a vast improvement over the first time I played an arc by this author, I did note a couple of areas where it could be improved. For example, one of Mr. Worthington's bits of dialogue in the final mission ends with him saying something along the lines of "You came here serve the Greater Good." Considering Mr. Worthington's apprent surprise (at least that's how I interpreted that moment), it might be more approrpriate for Mr. Worthington to say "Didn't you come here to serve the Greater Good?" or just "You came here to serve the Greater Good, right?" Or, if the author meant for the line to be more of a command (Worthington is supposed to be a master of brainwashing, after all), perhaps something more like "Serve the Greater Good, I command you!"

Finally (and probably my largest point of confusion in this arc), Angela Goodheart. I found Goodheart to be somewhat of a double-edged sword in this regard; on the one hand, I definitely found her to be the most interesting character in this arc (even though she never appears in any mission), but on the other hand, the player never really finds out anything about her. It's stated in the final mission that there's no cure to Worthington's brainwashing, yet Goodheart seems to free herself from the brainwashing with no help from the player's character. It's heavily implied that she's the one leaving the player notes throughout all of the missions, yet she seems to happily hand the player's character all of the Greater Good's assignments until the final mission. And neither her contact bio nor the final mission outro give any indication as to how or why she wanted to destroy the Greater Good. From what we learn, it can be assumed that perhaps she broke free of Worthington's mind control and wated to see the organization destroyed, but again, how did she break out of the mind control in the first place?

In the end, this was a very hard arc to rate; I was going back and forth between 4 and 5 stars for some time, but in the end, the final mission won me over. The final mission really pulled this whole arc together, and while the execution wasn't perfect, I felt this arc really exemplified the theme of "doing evil for the greater good". For any players who like running through entries into Dr. Aeon's challenge, I would highly recommend giving this arc a try. Officially, a 4.5 star arc, but I'll round that up to...

Final Score: 5 Stars

Thanks for the great review of my first "Galactic Protectorate" arc, PoliceWoman

I always find it interesting how every reviewer I've submitted these arcs to has a different interpretation of the story, and it's nice to see that you've picked up on all the little details several other reviewers have missed

I notice you took a fraction of a point off for the "Greek gods as months" reference, citing it "didn't make sense". Keep in mind that this is just the first part of a mult-arc storyline, so not everything will be explained right away. If it's something that honestly bothers you, I don't blame you for taking off a fraction of a point (it's not that much in the long run, really), but I just thought I'd mention that in case you catch some other references which seem "out of place" when you play my other "Galactic Protectorate" arcs.

Anyway, I look forward to your review of "The Galactic Protectorate - 02"!

EvaDestruction, I'm not sure what level your supergroup is at right now, but if/when the MA team has enough high-level members, I'd like to request a run-through of my first "Galactic Protectorate" arc:

Arc Name: The Galactic Protectorate - 01
Arc ID#: 47143
Length: 3 Missions
Level Range: 40-54
Morality: Neutral
Special Note: As the name implies, this is the first arc in a storyline which spans multiple arcs.

From the feedback I've gotten so far, it seems that the custom group in this arc is VERY challenging, so if/when you decide to run my first arc, it would probably be a good idea to have most/all of the members of the team be within (or at the very least close to) the level range of this arc, with the highest-leveled member leading.

There are no Elite Bosses or Archvillains in the first "Galactic Protectorate" arc, and none of my custom Minions or Lieutenants have Build Up or Aim. I've never had my arc officially reviewed by a team, so I'd be interested to know how the experience differs when a team runs the arc as opposed to a solo run.

Alright, I had enough time to run through this arc today, so here's some feedback I hope you find helpful

First of all, I noticed the new custom Lieutenant "Sentinel" didn't have the usual "Restarian" tag in front of it like the other custom characters did. I'm sure there's a reason for this, but it did make the Sentinels stand out from the other custom characters in the group. I found the Sentinels themselves, however, to have a great bio and a character design which made them seem like a natural part of the Restarian custom group.

Second, I noticed that the first mission mentions that the Restarians have had "skirmishes" with the Rikti in the past, even though the Restarians are (according to what I understood from the storyline) an alien race from outer space and the Rikti are from an alternate dimension. Again, it's possible I mis-read or didn't catch the detail which explains this, so I'm sure you'll correct me if I'm wrong

Finally, I did catch a spelling error in the final mission debriefing: "nad" I believe is supposed to be "and". Other than that, though, the spelling and grammar in this arc is just as good as it was in the last arc (unless I missed something, of course)

All in all, I was actually pretty amazed by how you integrated the advice GrinningSpade gave you into the arc so seemlessly. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought that the clues which allow you to understand the Restarians and access their computers were in this arc from the start.

Like the previous arc, I think you should request reviews of this arc to the reviewers in this section of the forum, as well. I'm sure they'll be able to help you improve your arc more than I can

Final Score: 5 Stars

It turns out I had a bit of free time today, The Hound, so when I saw your request I decided to check out your arc.

Now, I have my own review thread (where I usually post longer, in-depth reviews), but since I'm still kind of busy as of late I'll leave some comments here that I hope you find helpful.

First of all, I was honestly surprised by this arc. I'm not exactly sure what I was expecting, but I can tell you for a fact that whatever I WAS expecting, this story arc exceeded it greatly. The custom group is very well designed (with perhaps one minor nitpick); the storyline is a bit formulaic, but nonetheless enjoyable to play through; and each mission flows nicely into the next from start to finish. Add to the fact that there were almost no spelling/grammatical errors (I'll point out the few I found), and you have a solid AE experience.

I do have so minor nitpicks, of course. First of all, while I found the custom group "The Restarian Empire" to be very well done, it might help to add one more Lieutenant to the mix if you have the space. When a custom group is the central enemy of a story arc, I generally use the rule of thumb "at least 3 Minions", "at least 2 Lieutenants", and "at least 1 Boss" (not counting unique named characters, of course). Of course, if you don't have the space, or you like the group the way it is, I wouldn't suggest taking anything out of the arc to add another custom character. It's up to you.

Second, it MIGHT help to change the "defeault stance" of the rebels in the 3rd mission to Energy Field or something similar that makes them stand out. While I had no problems finding the bosses in the 3rd mission, I will admit I found it a bit tedious to track down all the rebels in the large outdoor map, so Energy Field might help players find them easier.

Finally, the spelling/grammatical errors. The first one I found was in the 4th mission dialog send-off, "eachother" needs a space between "each" and "other". The other was the use of "you're" throughout the arc in place of "your". "You're" is a conjuction of "you" and "are". "Your" denotes ownership. For example, when one of the Restarian officers says "I'll have you're head!", he should be saying "I'll have your head!". Other than that, however, the spelling/grammar in this arc is fine (unless I missed something, of course).

Overall, I think this arc definitely deserves some recognition in the AE Community. There are many MA Story Arc reviewers in this section of the forum, and I'd suggest you ask them for reviews of this arc so they can help you improve it even further. Maybe it's because this arc slightly reminds me of my own "Galactic Protectorate" series, but I'd definitely like to see some other story arcs from this author.

Final Score: 5 Stars

Just finished another review of one of your arcs, PoliceWoman

I look forward to your reviews of my "Galactic Protectorate" arcs!

No problem, PoliceWoman, glad to know that my feedback was helpful

Tenzen, this thread is still closed to submissions at the moment, but if/when my schedule clears up and I have enough free time, I'll try and review your arc after I review ArrowRose's

Now, without further ado, onto another review

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Arc Name: Destroyer of Worlds

Author: PoliceWoman

Character Used: Level 35 Broadsword / Invulnerability Scrapper

Mission 1: Radiant Glories Wearing; Heavenly Weapons Bearing

The contact for this story arc is "General Groves", and right off the bat the author informs the player that this arc takes place from May 1945 - August 1945, the final days of World War 2. My character has been recommended by the golden age Paragon heroine Maiden Justice to assist Groves in several top-secret assignments, the first of which being a shipyard of German U-Boats being seized by the 5th Column. While it's important to secure the U-Boats from the 5th Column, Groves informs me that my top priority is to recover the cargo of U-234, which contains prototypes of advanced weapons Groves believes is going to be delivered to Imperial Japan.

Unsurprisingly, the mission is filled with 5th Column, and as I make my way into the main shipyard area, I can't help but notice the Arachnos insignias, along with Lord Recluse's image at the end of the mission (more on that at the end of the review). After defeating "Schadenfreude" (apparently not the "Schadenfreude" who exists in-game, but his predecessor, a Prussian Noblewoman), I recover a guided missile, a jet fighter, and some "yellow dirt" labeled U-235. Groves is particularly interested in the latter after I return, and ships it off the "Site Y".

Mission 2: The Radiance of a Thousand Suns; Bursting at Once into the Sky

Groves informs my character that the "yellow dirt" from the last mission is actually "Uranium-235", useful in an experiment going on at a research facility in Los Alamos, New Mexico (codenamed "Site Y"); an experiment which is currently out of control. Since Groves hasn't heard back from the men he sent to investigate, I'm sent in to handle the crisis.

Inside the mission, I find two scientists being accosted by Shivians. One, the (in)famous Dr. Robert Oppenheimer, the other the slightly less well-known (yet equally influential) Dr. Edward Teller, both labeled as members of the "Manhattan Project". The scientists inform me that a meteorite fragment was brought in from Roswell, New Mexico, and the Shivians had appeared when the meteorite was exposed to radiation. From this information, it's a simple task to shut down the fission reactor and destroy the "Meteorite Shard" (Nictus Crystal). Groves is so impressed with my work that he decides to keep me on as secruity for Site Y, and that the United States "is developing a superweapon of it's own".

Mission 3: At the Sight of Thee, Made Known; Three Worlds Quake

Groves informs me that the experiments at Site Y have yielded the first atomic bomb, "Little Boy". However, the 393d Bomb Sqadron, which had been scheduled to deliver the bomb to it's destination, has been attacked and captured by the 5th Column at Tinian Airfield. Groves has already called in the Marines to retake the airfield, but what he really needs is a hero.

After arriving at Tinian Airfield (which looked suspiciously like an Arachnos heliport; more on that at the end), I quickly take out "Lt. Ubelmann" and fight Schadenfreude's predecessor once more. After defeating her, Schadenfreude informs me that the bombers have already been sabotaged. Groves confirms this after the mission, as Colonel Tibbets, the one scheduled to fly the Enola Gay, has been wounded.

Mission 4: I am Become Death; Destoyer of Worlds

Since the 393d Bomb Squadron were the only ones trained to handle atomic warfare, there's no time to train another group of bombers before Imperial Japan makes it's move. It falls upon my character to deliever "Little Boy" to it's target: Hiroshima, Japan. Groves instructs me to strike the bomb so as to begin the fission reaction needed for detonation, then advises me to evacuate the area as quickly as possible.

The mission itself is largely empty, save for several Japanese Civilians walking around harmlessly. I find the "Atomic Bomb" (Rikti Bomb), strike it several times to detonate it, and... "Radiation" does indeed come forth, apparently shouting assortments of "Kaboom!" and "Boom!" at the top of their lungs and chasing the civilians around the map (again, I'll go into more depth at the end of the review). Groves tells me the mission was a great success, and congratulates me on helping to end the war. Story Arc complete.

Final Thoughts:

Alright... for the most part, this arc was incredible. The storyline was solid, and the historical characters and settings show the author obviously is knowledgeable and/or did extensive research of World War 2 and the Manhattan Project during this arc's creation. It was also nice to see how the author tied in canon lore into the arc.

However, this arc does (in my opinion) have one glaring flaw: Immersion. To be fair, this really isn't the author's fault so much as it is the limitations of the AE System. When Arachnos logos appeared in the U-Boat shipyard in the first mission, it was easy enough to ignore. When the Tinian Airfield was set in an Arachnos Heliport, it was slightly harder to ignore. However, for me, it was the "atomic explosion" in the final mission that completely broke my immersion in the storyline of the arc. Again, the author really isn't at fault here; I know from experience how hard it is to find an appropriate map/object/costume piece to match the idea you have in your head and transfer it as faithfully as possible to the AE System, and I'm usually able to overlook things like this... to an extent. However, when I thought of the actual file footage of the atomic bomb being dropped on Hiroshima, and then compared it to what is portrayed in this arc (civilians running from Radiation clouds), there was just too much of a disconnect from me. I had the impression (though I'm sure PoliceWoman will correct me if I'm wrong) that the goal of the author in the last mission was for the player to "see" the disastrous effects of their actions, hence the "Drama" tag this arc has. However, as I watched the civilians running from the Radiation clouds that were shouting "Boom" as they chased them up trees and buildings, for me, it was almost comical. And I'm fairly certain that wasn't the author's intent with this arc (again, I'm sure I'll be corrected if I'm wrong).

That's not to say this is a bad arc; this arc is very, very good. For those who love history and/or World War 2, this is definitely an arc to play. And I'm sure there are many players who can overlook my problems with it and be completely engrossed in the story from beginning to end. However, for the reason I stated above, I just can't justify giving this arc a perfect score. I still recommend it, though

Final Score: 4 Stars

Another day, another review of one of your arcs, PoliceWoman

Hope you think I gave it a fair score!

Glad to hear my feedback helped you improve your arc, ArrowRose! Based on how things go for the next few weeks, I may be opening this thread up again and accepting reviews, but as for now, it's still closed. However, if/when I do accept reviews again, I'll be sure to review your new arc first

Anyway, there's just enough time for one more review today, so let's get started!

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Arc Name: Papers and Paychecks

Author: PoliceWoman

Character Used: Level 38 Electric Melee / Electric Armor Brute

Mission 1: The New Hire

The contact for this arc is a Crey Protector named "Security Chief Manning", and the first thing the author tells the player is that his/her character is giving up their life of crime to begin working for Crey Industries (isn't that just giving up one life of crime for another?)

Anyway, Manning informs me that my character is replacing a stock clerk named "Bob", who was forced to retire after a suspicious fork lift accident. As a stock clerk, my job is stick shipping labels onto various crates within a warehouse operated by Crey... I gave up my life of crime for this?

However, the job proves to be much more exciting than it sounds, as Longbow operatives have decided to shut down this apparently nefarious operation. After taking down some Longbow, I come across "Jenny, the New Hire", a new employee to Crey who was also assigned to this warehouse. Jenny (a non-combat ally set to follow the player's character) decides to tag along and watch me beat up Longbow for some reason, and along the way I slap appropriate labels onto various crates (one which contains Paris Holiday's line of perfume, which I thought was a nice throwback by the author). At the end of the mission, I find Countess Crey's loyal bodyguard, Hopkins, being accosted by... a random pickup group of heroes running the Manticore Task Force. After taking care of the heroes, Hopkins awards me with an official Letter of Recommendation, which Manning informs me (after I exit the mission) is enough to get me promoted to the front office. I'm moving up the corporate ladder.

Mission 2: The Office

So, now that I'm in the front office, Mannings informs me I'll be working with "Simmons", who is in the process of shredding some confidential company documents. I'm sent to go lend him a hand.

However, it turns out Simmons is a little late, as the Paragon Police are already raiding the office when I enter the mission. It also turns out that the best way to "shred" documents is to utterly annihilate them with super powers; who could have guessed file cabinets and stacks of paper were so easy to destroy? I also happen to run into Jenny again (this time named "Jenny, the Office Girl", with a slightly different description), who seems to enjoy looking at photocopies of people's butts, and encourages me to do the same. After my character steals some office supplies in hopes of building a better life, I run into Simmons (a named Crey Protector), who is being detained by the Paragon Police. After rescuing him, Simmons puts in a good word for me with the higher-ups, and Mannings informs me that I'll be working at Crey R & D the following day. I'm moving up in the world.

Mission 3: Research & Development

As a new Crey Researcher, I'll be working at a Bio lab in Brickstown with the esteemed Dr. Paul Summerfield; my main task will be supervising his experiments.

Unfortunately, supervising the doctor's experiments turns out to be trickier than it sounds, as several have already escaped their holding cells and are terrorizing the researchers at the lab. The custom group in this mission, named "Escaped Experiments", seem to be a mix of Hydra and Devouring Earth. Several named bosses are given interesting descriptions, including "Experiment A" (who is suggested to be "Bob", the stock clerk you initally replaced at the start of the arc) and "Experiment C" (a superheroine clone who believes she is the original). Along the way, I find Jenny again (this time named "Jenny, the Lab Assistant"), who makes the astute observation that there may be some unethical experiments going on in this lab. I finally find Dr. Summerfield (a named Crey Power Tank), who seems to be rather paranoid about people stealing his work and publishing it as their own. After defeating the doctor, I liberate some notes he took of his experiments from his person and then send all of the information to the "Association of Genetic Engineers" (with Summerfield's name nowhere to be found, of course). Mannings informs me that the association decided to publish "my" research, and when Countess Crey found out, she decided to promote me to management status. Things were looking up.

Mission 4: Middle Management

As a middle manager, I was assigned to one of Crey's Founders Falls' offices to "make sure everyone stays on track". Mannings also informs me that Human Resources has assigned a female assistant to aid me in my managerial duties. Gee, I wonder who it could be?

So, for the first time, the workplace I enter isn't filled with police, Longbow, or science experiments running amok. Instead, it's filled with hard-working, effiecient office workers. VERY hard-working, effecient officer workers. INHUMANLY hard-working, effecient- they're Nemesis Automatons, aren't they?

After meeting up with Jenny (now "Jenny, the Administrative Assistant"), who seems to think that these office workers are "kinda weird", she gives me my schedule, which lists me having two seperate meetings with "Barbie" and "Ken". It turns out "Ken" is actually "Ken Kellerman", the same captive from Phillipa Meraux's story arc outside of AE (and guarded by more Manticore Task Force members for some reason). However, "Barbie" turns out to be "Electirc Barbarella" (a custom Nemesis Boss), and boasts both a Nemesis Rifle and Electric Armor. After defeating her, Captain Deckard (Nemesis Warhulk) shows up and reveals the Nemesis plot to take over this Crey office... for some unstated reason. Nemesis does weave a tangled web, after all. After defeating the captain, Mannings informs me that Countess Crey has learned of my success in stopping the evil Nemesis plot at the office, and has promoted me to Executive Vice President. I'm finally up there with the rest of the decision-makers.

Mission 5: Corporate Restructuring

As an executive vice president, my first order of business is pretty standard executive protocol: firing a bunch of people below me who are causing trouble for the company. It seems some rumors of illegal research going on at a Crey office in Steel Canyon have started to arise, and it falls upon me to personally "downsize" all of the workers at the office before the police start to investigate these rumors. Crey also wants a "word" with the employee who started these rumors in the first place. The opening dialog hints at a time limit in the upcoming mission (though doesn't state exactly how long), which turns out to be 15 minutes. I'd better hurry. The author also states that the outcome of this mission is based on the "player's choice".

So, it turns out that the Crey workers inside the building are less than thrilled to see me, especially the three "whistleblowers" whose employment I terminated. At the end of the mission, I finally come across the person I've been looking for: none other than "Jenny, the Accounting Manager", being guarded by members of the Paragon Police. After defeating the bodyguards, I "escort" Jenny down to towards the exit, and it turns out Police Woman has arrived on the scene. Though I'm able to defeat her, it turns out I just can't get Jenny out of the office building in time. It's funny how things turn out.

Naturally, the police arrest several high-ranking Crey employees, the Countess pins the whole sordid ordeal squarely on my shoulders, and Manning is nice enough to let me return to my life of crime rather than turn me into Crey. And Jenny? My character never sees her again, but at least she's out of Crey's hands. Even villains can do something noble every once in a while, right? Story Arc complete.

Final Thoughts:

This arc was, quite simply, one of the best arcs I've EVER played. The story flowed smoothly from one segment to the next, the few custom characters in the arc were endearing, and the plot has an excellent and satisfying conclusion.

The only nitpick with this arc I can think of is the time limit in the final mission; while it's nice that the author actually warns the player ahead of time in this arc, the strict time limit of 15 minutes might be short enough to warrant specification in the mission dialog. I can understand WHY the author made the time limit so short, and I actually wouldn't recommend changing it (for players who want the "happy" ending), but it MIGHT help to specifiy the time, just as a heads-up for players who want the "villainous" ending.

All things considered, I'm surprised that this arc is labeled "Work in Progress"; it's just my opinion, but I think it's easily complete enough for "Final" status, though I'm sure PoliceWoman will correct me if I'm missing something.

Overall, I think this is an arc every AE player should try out at least once; it's a fun, charming experience, and fully displays this author's talent with the AE system. A well-deserved 5 Stars.

Final Score: 5 Stars

Hey, Coulomb2, glad to hear you're almost at the end of your project!

If you there's still a slot open, I'd love it if you took Pro Payne through one final "Galactic Protectorate" arc, "The Galactic Protectorate - 06"! Arc ID#355068

Hey, PoliceWoman, I was able to get one last review in before the end of 2009!

Read it here

Ah, thanks for correcting me about that mistake, FredrikSvanberg. Still, it was interesting to see how PoliceWoman adapted those two radio contacts for her story arc

Anyway, before the New Year's celebration tonight, I've got just enough time for one more review!

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Arc Name: Teen Phalanx Forever!

Author: PoliceWoman

Character Used: Level 22 Force Field / Psychic Blast Defender

Mission 1: Introducing Kid (character name)!

The contact for this story arc is Coyote, a standard contact I've rarely seen used in the AE arcs I've played. The arc begins by stating that, for the duration of this arc, the player will be playing a "teen" version of their current character. However, this seems to be contradicted almost immediately in the opening dialog, as Coyote mentions that the "mentor" of the "teen" version of the player's character is actually the "not-teen" version of the player's character, thus making the "teen" version of the player's character an entirely seperate character (at least in the context of this arc). Considering that the character I played through this arc with WAS technically a teenager to begin with, and this was more than a little confusing

Anyway, Coyote tells me that the titular supergroup of this arc, the Teen Phalanx, have already gone after Dr. Vahzilok, and that I should go help them. Coyote mentions that the Teen Phalanx "fights archvillains everyday", and relays some information about the combat style and weaknesses of the Vahzilok. While this information may be a bit late for those playing this arc (given the level range of this first mission, I'd imagine most players would have already run into the Vahzilok at least once by the time they play this arc), I did find this to be a really nice touch by the author.

Inside the mission, I'm introduced to the four members of the Teen Phalanx: "Manticora", the self-proclaimed "bad girl" of the group, who boasts psychic and archery powers, as well as blue skin and a third eye for some reason; "Kid Valkyrie", the "good girl" of the Teen Phalanx, who is stated to be the daughter of Valkyrie; "Back Alley Boy", stated to be the "tough guy" of the group, who was found and adopted by Back Alley Brawler; and "Citadel XP", the "brains" of the Teen Phalanx, created by combining Citadel's hardware with Luminary's software.

Several of the hostages inside the mission had nice custom bios, and Citadel XP filled me in on the situation: Apparently, several women had gone missing after accepting a date from an online dating website, the setting of said dates taking place in some well-known Vahzilok hunting grounds. Soon after rescuing all the hostages and meeting up with all of the Teen Phalanx members, we came across Dr. Vahzilok himself, along with some custom Vahzilok minions named "Vahzilok Brides". After defeating Dr. Vahzilok, I receive a clue for completing the mission, which is an ad for "Mail Order Brides" (apparently of the zombie variety). Anyway, after exiting the mission Coyote tells me that I'm now an "official" member of the Teen Phalanx.

Mission 2: In the Hall of the Clockwork King

So, it seems that the Clockwork King is "on a rampage", the Teen Phalanx is "already on the scene", and Coyote couldn't contact me because SOMEONE forgot to give me a Teen Phalanx Communicator. Before leaving, Coyote relays some more information about the strengths/weaknesses of the Clockwork, as well as warning me that some "prototype" Clockwork might be in the mission, as well. Again, this information might be a tad late, but I still enjoyed it's inclusion in the arc.

Inside the mission, I come across some custom Clockwork minions amongst the standard Clockwork; these custom Clockwork are labeled "Clockwork Adventurers", and have a habit of speaking in RPG terms. I meet up with all of the Teen Phalanx (minus Manticora, who runs off after giving me an official Teen Phalanx Communicator), and Citadel XP tells me that the Clockwork King has made his own "virtual game" to combat Architect Entertainment, which he calls "World of Clockwork". After rescuing the "Beta Testers" for this "game", we defeat the Clockwork King and are given another ad in the form of a clue, this one for World of Clockwork. Upon returning to Coyote, I learn that Manticora ran off to "make up" with "Statesboy", who used to be a member of the Teen Phalanx.

Mission 3: Alone and Unsupervised! What's the Worst That Could Happen?

So it seems Manticora's "taking a break" from the Teen Phalanx for a while, which means that every other member has to temporarily fill in for her usual duties within the Teen Phalanx base. My character is stuck with monitor duty.

This mission has an unannounced 2 hour time limit to it; while that's not as bad as several other arcs I've played, it's still nice to get a "warning" beforehand on any upcoming time limits a mission might have. Before entering the mission, Coyote remarks that the Freakshow "might be up to something".

The map used for this mission is incredibly small; it's also completely emtpy at the start of the mission, save for several objectives. There were some optional "lockers' belonging to the Teen Phalanx, as well as a "refrigerator", which give some amusing clues when interacted with; overall, I thought this was a clever touch by the author. Anyway, after watching the "monitor" for several seconds, the alarm in the base sounds, and the Freakshow appear. After defeating a Freakshow boss named "C4TS", I meet up with Kid Valkyrie and Back Alley Boy, and together we defeat the leader of this raid, Clamor. Upon completing the mission, Clamor reveals that someone named "Mr. V" (who works for the Council) had hired the Freakshow to attack the Teen Phalanx base. What's worse, Coyote informs me that Manticora's "gone missing", and Citadel XP isn't answering his communicator.

Mission 4: Who is gunning for the Teen Phalanx? Find out Inside!

Well, it turns out Citadel XP has been kidnapped by Council robots, but was able to get in a quick distress call before Coyote lost contact with him. I'm sent to a Council base on Striga Isle to investigate.

While it turns out that there ARE, in fact, Council robots inside the mission, they're labeled as "Rogue Robots", and their description states that they no longer work for the Council. After meeting up with all the members of the Teen Phalanx, Manticora explains that she was tricked into being captured by a forged letter she thought was from Statesboy, and Citadel XP reveals the identity of the one behind all this: the evil "Citadel Vista"!

...

Anyway, during the fight with Citadel Vista, several "robo" versions of the Teen Phalanx show up in an ambush; I wasn't able to read all of their descriptions before they were defeated by the real Teen Phalanx, but I liked their inclusion in this arc. With Citadel Vista defeated, Coyote informs me that my "mentor" needs me, and everyone is sad to see me go, but I'm allowed to keep a Teen Phalanx Communicator as a souvenir of the time I spent with the members of the Teen Phalanx. Story Arc complete.

Final Thoughts:

Alright, I REALLY enjoyed playing this arc. This is easily one of the most fun and entertaining arcs I've ever played in MA. The storyline was great, the "Teen Phalanx" members were likeable (though admittedly a bit stereotypical), and the premise of temporarily joining a supergroup on their daily adventures was explored and executed amazingly well by this author.

But I do have SOME minor nitpicks with this arc. First of all, as I stated before, the entire idea of your character being a "teen" version of himself/herself was never really made clear, and made even less so with the constant references to the "non-teen" version of your character being your "mentor". I get the impression that the idea the author was trying to convey was that you (the player) are controlling a teen "apprentice" of your actual character for the duration of the arc, much like the Teen Phalanx are "teen" versions of the Freedom Phalanx. I think the main source of my confusion is the wording of the "author's note" at the beginning of the first mission; saying "teen version" of your character makes me think that I'll be playing as the same character, only as a teenager rather than whatever age he/she really is. Perhaps clarifying the fact that the player is playing an entirely seperate character (in the author's note rather than Coyote's dialog) might help in this regard.

Second, the Teen Phalanx felt just a tad overpowered when they were all together. Individually, they were pretty well balanced, but once I had all four as allies even the archvillains (as Elite Bosses, at least) went down without any help from my character at all. To be honest, I really don't have many suggestions for this; most of the archvillains in this arc might be too difficult for a player to take down without any help, but the arc probably wouldn't "feel" the same if half the Teen Phalanx was missing every mission. Appropriately, the most enjoyable boss fight in this arc for me was the one against Clamor, where I had only two of the Teen Phalanx as allies. The boss wasn't bowled over like the others, and it actually felt like I contributed to that battle. Of course, there was a story-related reason as to WHY the other two members were MIA, but it did confirm my suspicions that the number of allies was too high, or at least the enemies were too weak

Finally, the "comedic" portions of this arc. While I personally found there to be some chuckle-worthy lines, most of the comedy (for me, at least) fell flat. This is purely my opinion, though, and I'm sure many other players loved the comedy in this arc, but to be honest I prefer it when this author is writing more "serious" plotlines than "comedic" ones. Again, just my opinion.

Despite the few nitpicks I've mentioned, there are few MA arcs I've played which have been as much fun as this one, and that's probably the operative word I would give this arc: Fun. This is a fun, light-hearted arc that I would recommend to anyone, and would gladly play again in my spare time.

Final Score: 5 Stars

Just finished another review of one of your arcs in my thread, PoliceWoman Feel free to check it out if you're interested.

Alright, just enough free time today for another review!

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Arc Name: Talos Vice

Author: PoliceWoman

Character Used: Level 13-14 Gravity / Kinetics Controller

Mission 1:

The Contact for this arc was a custom character by the name of "Detective Croquette", who has a seldom-seen partner by the name of "Detective Basinns" (more on that at the end of this review). The first (of many) unique elements that I notice about this arc is "dialog". Rather than the usual "contact speaking, with maybe some action indicated by seperate font/color" dialog I've found in most other arcs, this "dialog" reads more like a screenplay, with the "setting" and "character dialog" (including the player's character) indicated by the author in large, bold font. This unorthodox style had both it's pros and cons, but I'll go into more detail about that at the end of this review.

Getting back to the plot, it seems my character had been sent by Back Alley Brawler to help Detective Croquette stop an unusual increase in the illegal Superadyne trade (referred to in the arc and henceforth in this review as simply "Dyne") at it's source, Talos Island. Detective Croquette and the rest of the "Talos Vice" (Paragon Police officers assigned to this case, apparently) had tracked a shipment of Dyne to a warehouse run by Trolls, which I was to help them raid. Croquette and I get in his "white Ferrari" and drive to Helen's Point, where the bust is to take place.

Unfortunately, the Trolls are expecting the police, and I spend most of the mission rescuing captured police officers, identifying the bodies of less fortunate police officers, and confiscating several crates of Dyne myself. Identifying the bodies and confiscating the Dyne both give clues which seem a tad redundant, and most of the named Paragon Police officer hostages run off once rescued, though one officer ("Sergeant Stevens", identified in her description as "a Police Woman") does inform me about the ambush. Interestingly, "Detective Basinns", Croquette's partner (who even has the same description as Detective Croquette), mentions his suspicions about a "leak" in the Paragon Police; this is one piece of information I'd EXPECT to be given in the form of a clue, but instead Basinns only mentions it in dialog form after he's rescued, then quickly runs to the mission exit. The only officer who DOESN'T run off after being rescued is Detective Croquette himself, who stays to help me find and defeat Grogar, the leader of this drug warehouse. After completing the mission, another "screenplay-style" clue is given, showcasing the events that unfold as Grogar is held in the police interrogation room. At his lawyer's advice, Grogar admits that the Trolls get their Dyne from a "man" in a club named "Sindicators". Returning to Detective Croquette, another scene is described, this one mourning the loss of the Paragon Police officers who died in the failed drug bust. Croquette informs me that he knows where this "Sindicators" club is.

Mission 2:

The next scene shown is of Croquette and myself heading to the "seedy nightclub" that is Sindicators. Inside, the two of us find the club to be filled (unsurpisingly) with "low-life criminals" and strippers cosplaying as non-family friendly versions of the famous heroines of Paragon City. The enemy group in this mission, titled simply "Perps", are an assortment of various recolored low-level enemy groups, including Hellions, Skulls, Warriors, and Outcasts.

There was also a custom ally group, the "Sindicators" themselves, who were said cosplaying strippers mentioned earler. Even though they only appeared in this mission, and I only encountered two of these "Sindicators", I honestly was impressed by both the design and descriptions of these characters. They honestly did appear to be "adult" versions of several of the flagship heroines of Paragon, and their short backstories were believable (though admittedly a bit cliche). After rescuing one of the Sindicators, she told me that she had seen Grogar talking with some "Family wise guys" in the club before.

Soon after, I find and rescue Croquette (again), and the two of us find Detective Wexler (one of the officers I rescued in the previous mission) receiving a payment from several Family members. After "rescuing" Wexler and completing the mission, another "screenplay style" clue is given, this one showing Croquette arresting Wexler and extracting the source of the Dyne shipments from him. It turns out a Family boss named "Cavalieri" is running his operation off the coast of Scylla.

Mission 3:

So, now that we know where the source of the Dyne shipments are coming from, the only thing left is to find and arrest Cavalieri. The scene given for this mission depicts Croquette and myself getting on a speedboat and heading to Cavalieri's stronghold.

Upon entering the mission, I quickly find and destroy the main supply of Dyne, which brings out Cavalieri himself. He's a very difficult boss (especially for a Level 14 Controller), but I defeat him after exhausting every inspiration I have. The mission outro shows officer Wexler being gunned down by a Family hitman, and my character swearing to bring Cavalieri to justice. Story Arc complete.

Final Thoughts:

Alright... first, I have to admit (much like the previous arc) that the theme of this arc wasn't my forte. I've never watched "Miami Vice" (which this arc obviously pays homage to), nor have I ever been a fan of "buddy cop" series/movies, so again, I'm probably missing a lot of references/jokes in this arc.

As for the prevalent "screenplay style" writing found in this arc... as I mentioned before, it has it's pros and cons. On one hand, it's an interesting and unique way of presenting the story, and the author definitely made a great effort to portray every "scene" found in this arc with as much detail as possible (within the limiations of the system, of course). On the other hand, I'd be lying if I said this wasn't disorienting at times, and the style itself also led to a factor many players on and off this board dislike: performing thoughts/actions/dialog for the player's character. Personally, I don't mind this as much as others, but (with the exception of several particuarly bad arcs I've experienced in the past) this story seemed to do this more than any other arc I've reviewed; particularly in the final "scene" (outro dialog) of the last mission. Again, I'd imagine that the "style" used in this arc naturally lends itself to this, but it was especially noticeable considering the previous two arcs I've reviewed from this author seem to avoid doing this as much as possible.

Writing style aside, there was also one minor detail I thought was odd. It's mentioned in their descriptions that Detective Croquette and Detective Basinns are partners, but it seemed to me like the player's character was Croquette's partner throughout the course of the arc, not Basinns. Also, I only encountered Basinns in the first mission, then never saw him again. It's possible that I might have missed him in the other two missions (and I'm sure PoliceWoman will correct me if I did), but it seems like there should have been some explanation as to why Basinns was MIA throughout most of the arc, or at least have his description changed to Croquette's "colleague" rather than "partner". Then again, this might be a joke/reference to "Miami Vice" that I'm not "getting", so if that's the case, there's no need to change it.

All things considered, this was a VERY hard arc to rate. The entire arc seemed geared towards players who enjoy shows like "Miami Vice", so the real question is if this arc achieves the "feel" of that series. And... well, having never watched the series, I really can't make that determination . I can definitively say that this arc boasts some of the most impressive mechanics I've seen (even compared to the previous arcs I've played from this author), a solid storyline, and a unique storytelling style that some players might enjoy. However, players who don't like it when story arc writers "think" for their characters might be put off by this arc, as will players who don't like "buddy cop" plotlines. However, I have a strong feeling that those who have watched and enjoyed shows like "Miami Vice" will LOVE this arc.

Final Score: 4 Stars

Glad to hear that my feedback was helpful to you, PoliceWoman

About putting an ambush in the second mission of Celebrity Kidnapping, I think it's fine if you can find a story-related reason to justify it. To be honest, though, I think the "lopsided" feel I had from the arc was heavily intertwined into the structure of the story itself, and it would be hard to incorporate something like an ambush into the story without having it feel "tacked-on". If you're happy with the pacing, then I wouldn't suggest changing it. Like I said in my review, I felt like most of the arc's content was crammed into the last mission, but to each their own. I'm sure there are many players who wouldn't mind the pacing at all

Luckily, I had enough time today to review another one of your arcs, PoliceWoman

Here's the link to the review, I hope you think I gave it a fair score!

Well, it's the day after Christmas, and that means just enough free time to review another arc

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Arc Name: Celebrity Kidnapping

Author: PoliceWoman

Character Used: Level 38 Electric Melee / Electric Armor Brute

Mission 1:

As I begin this "Villainous" arc, I first notice that Willy Wheeler as the contact. Considering the quality of the last arc, I have high hopes going into this one.

Willy informs me that a "celebrity bimbo" named Paris Holiday has recently been arrested for DUI and thrown in the Zig, so naturally this is the perfect opportunity to kidnap her and hold her for ransom (at this point I double-check the arc description and yes, this is arc is indeed labeled "comedy" by the author). Willy plans to have the Family cause a distraction by starting a prison riot, allowing me to kidnap Paris in the chaos.

So, I enter the mission (a Zig map, naturally) and am met with Paragon Police, Longbow, and Prisoners all wandering the map and battling whenever they bump into each other. Oddly, the Family is nowhere to be found. After fighting my way through the prison yard, through the underground sewer passageway and into the Zig itself, I finally find Paris Holiday herself. She apparently belongs to the "Celebutantes" enemy group, and her description reveals certain tidbits about her "wild" private life, as well as her claim to the "Holiday Hotels" fortune (I'll go into more detail about the comedy/references found in this arc at the end of this review). I then lead Paris Holiday back through the map and out of the Zig. Mission complete.

Mission 2:

So, while Paris is waiting at a Family safehouse, Willy contacts a reality show and demands a huge ransom- wait, what? Willy's demanding ransom from a reality show rather than Paris' family and friends? Paris' family who (based on what we learned in the last arc) OWNS THEIR OWN LINE OF HOTELS?! Alright... maybe it's a REALLY good reality show.

Regardless, the reality show agrees to pay the ransom; half will be dropped off at an abandoned warehouse, and the other half will be delivered once Paris is set free. Naturally, I have to go and pick up the first half myself.

Upon entering the small abandoned warehouse, I'm greeted by a "Vagrant" custom group, who seem to be led by a Bum. Yes, "Bum" is the name of the custom boss. Actually, "Bum's" bio wasn't too bad, and did a good job of explaining how a homeless bum could be so strong. After defeating "Bum", I grab the rasnom money, and prepare for the inevitable ambush- wait, mission complete? That's it? Really?

Mission 3:

So, now that we've got the first half of the ransom, the only thing left to do is turn Paris loose so we get the second half. However, Willy strongly hints that it might be to both of our benefits if the Family was out of the picture. One less share, right? Funny thing is, the Family had something similar in mind.

The mission starts out almost completely empty, with just a Family boss and Paris' captors located at the end of the map. Of course, after rescuing Paris, the map comes to life. The Paragon Police show up, along with a custom group "The Paparazzi". Unfortunately, the Paparazzi all share the same description, and I didn't find them as impressive as other custom groups I've encountered (they're certainly less impressive "Spider Clan" group in the last arc I played, and they were created by this same author).

As I drag Paris with me to the mission entrance, I notice another ally standing by the Paparazzi by the name of "Lois Watson". Her description states that she's the girlfriend of "Unbelievable Man", and "rescuing" her does indeed result in Unbelievable Man showing up to try and save the day. After defeating the hero, I come across both Amanda Vines and Police Woman herself. After defeating Police Woman, Amanda tags along (she wants an intereview, apparently), and I bring both her and Paris to the exit, the latter lamenting the end of her short life as a "Destined One". As I exit the mission, it seems Willy's surprised to see I made it out, and it's strongly implied that he's the one who tipped the Paragon Police off. It's also strongly implied that I beat the bejeezus out of him. Story Arc complete.

Final Thoughts:

Alright... I'm going to have to say that, unlike the previous arc I reviewed by this author, the theme of this arc was definitely NOT to my liking. I've never been a fan of reality shows, so I'd be willing to bet that there were some jokes and references in this arc that I just didn't "get". I also noticed that, overall, this arc wasn't nearly as "polished" as the previous arc, as there were no mission titles, and the contact had the default AE Contact bio (I think; I'm sure PoliceWoman will correct me if I'm wrong).

In addition, I found this arc to be noticeably "lopsided"; the first two missions were practically barren in comparison to the final mission, particularly the second mission. While the thrid mission exhibited the author's skill with AE system mechanics (I was honestly impressed with the way several of the instanced ambushes/hostages were used), a few of the "cameo" characters seemed to be out of place. "Paris Holiday" and "The Paparazzi" both fit the theme of this arc, but "Lois Watson" and "Ubelievable Man"? Given who they're parodying (Lois Lane and Superman, respectively), I can see how it might be believable for them to be incorporated into this arc, but I still found it to be more than just slightly random. Likewise, Amanda Vines and Police Woman showing up in the final mission is nice, but their appearances also seem to come out of left-field.

Despite all of that, this arc was actually quite enjoyable. I didn't like it as much as the previous arc, and the custom characters weren't nearly as detailed, but I got the feeling as I played that this arc was meant to be a simple, light-hearted comedy arc, and the author definitely accomplished that. Overall, I'd say it's a nice, concise arc that I would recommend to those who enjoy (or enjoy making fun of) reality shows and/or celebrities in general.

Final Score: 4 Stars

No problem PoliceWoman; I really was planning on playing through your arcs, anyway

In fact, I decided to dust off my old review thread, and that's where I posted my review of "The Flower Knight Task Force"

Hope you think I gave it a fair review I'll try and get to the rest of your arcs whenever I get the chance.

Wow, been awhile since I posted in this thread. Anyway, due to my recent request to PoliceWoman, I'll be posting my reviews of her arcs in this thread sporadically whenever I get enough free time to play them

It should be noted, however, that this thread is temporarily closed until after New Year's, Day, at the earilest. I am UNBELIEVABLY busy right now, and I'm hard-pressed to find enough time to play and post my reviews of PoliceWoman's arcs, let alone the arcs that might be requested in this thread. If my schedule opens up in January, I'll gladly take requests again, but not before then.

So, without further ado, here's my review of "The Flower Knight Task Force"

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Arc Name: A Warrior's Journey - The Flower Knight Task Force

Author: PoliceWoman

Character Used: Level 50 Dual Blades / Willpower Scrapper

Mission 1: A Dream of Samurai

Alright, before I begin this review, let me just say: I REALLY like arcs that reference Japanese culture, but too often I find such arcs have glaring flaws or inaccuracies that really detract from the experience. So, after reading the arc description and seeing that the Contact for this arc was the canon character "Flower Knight", I have to admit I was a little hesistant about how things were going to unravel.

The arc begins with Flower Knight informing me that she's been having dreams about a mystical land which resembles feudal Japan, though she admits this may be due to her watching too many Kurosawa movies (I appreciated the director's reference in this arc ) Anyway, it turns out an alternate dimension code-named "Pi Omega 4-4" has been found, and this dimension bears a striking resemblance to the land Flower Knight has been dreaming about. As such, I'm sent to investigate the dimension.

After passing through the portal, I find that I have indeed stepped into an ancient land reminiscent of Japan during the Warring States Era, though the main aggressors in this world seem to belong to the "Spider Clan" (apparently led by a "Lord Kumo"), and my first task is to liberate the oppressed peasants. After taking down an oddly familiar foe named "Jinkenzo" (and finding some firearms named "arquebuses" on him), I find an ally belonging to the "Hawk Clan" named "Fujineko" and rescue her, as well. Together, we defeat some decidedly Fortunata-looking Kunoichi and Shugenja (who bear a striking resemblance to Mu Mystics), then proceed to rescue the peasants. Along the way, we stumble across a gravestone belonging to a "Lord Setaetsmon", who was apparently the leader of Hawk Clan before meeting his end at the hand of Lord Kumo. Things seem to pretty bad for the land Fujineko calls "Perogan". Our task complete, I lead Fujineko to the portal, completing the mission.

Mission 2: The Guns of Perogan

So, after bringing Fujineko to our (comparatively advanced) dimension, she informs Flower Knight of the location of a supply depot the Spider Clan uses. Many of the Spider Clan's arquebuses are stored in this depot, so it's up to me to shut it down. However, before I leave, Flower Knight relays to me that Tina McIntyre has detected some evidence of dimension-hopping, and it's not mine. Someone else has been visiting Perogan.

Inside the weapons depot (which turns out to be little more than a cave), I find and defeat "Jinkenzo" (again), then find and destroy all the low-tech firearms. Along the way, I run into a "Lord Aion", who's busy overseeing the depot. Lord Aion bears a striking resemblance to Dr. Aion, and has similar powers. However, halfway though the battle, he summons "ninja" to assist him... which turn out to be Chimera's minions; the descriptions aren't even altered. I originally thought this was an oversight by the author, but as it turns out, Chimera DOES have a pretty large role in this story, which is elaborated on later. Flower Knight is just as surprised as I am to find Chimera's minions in Perogan, and decides to ask Fujineko what she knows about the situation.

Mission 3: The Oracle of Amaterasu

So, it turns out Chimera HAS been visiting this alternate dimension; Fujineko saw him with a woman named "Lady Sayaki" some time ago. Apparently, the two had been courting before Laday Sayaki had become the titular hermit preistess. Surely, she would know something about Chimera's involvement in Perogan.

Upon entering Sayaki's (empty) lair, I find evidence of a whirlwind romance between her and Chimera; interestingly enough, Lady Sayaki herself bears a striking resemblance to Sister Psyche. Upon rescuing Sayaki (and fighting through the now-Praetorian filled mission), she grudgingly gives up the location of Chimera's stronghold in Perogan.

Mission 4: A Hidden Fortress

Given the theme of this arc, I almost expected the title of this mission to be "A Moving Fortress". Anyway, Lady Sayaki basically confirms everything we've been suspecting from the start, so the next move is to strike Chimera's fortress and stop him from aiding Lord Kumo any further.

Upon entering Chimera's lair (Chimera seems to be fond of graveyards), I find and destroy the remaining arquebuses, close the portal leading back to Praetorian Earth, and find a few interesting notes from Chimera's companions expressing anger/frustration at Chimera's apparent obsession with this dimension. After defeating Chimera himself, he apparently commits seppuku while reciting a haiku about his lover, Lady Sayaki. Upon exiting the mission, I'm greeted with a vision of Lady Sayaki, feeling her beloved's death across time and space, taking her own life. This scene is described with impressive detail by the author, and I honestly appreciated that. Needless to say, Flower Knight is disturbed by this turn of events.

Mission 5: The Day of Thunder

With Chimera and Lady Sayaki's death, the only thing left to do is end Lord Kumo's reign in Perogan. It's not going to be easy, though. Lord Kumo has 4 generals, who are (for the most part, at least; more on that later) alternate versions of Arachnos arch-villains. However, with Fujineko's and Flower Knight's help, we defeat the 4 generals and Lord Kumo himself, thus leaving Perogan in the hands of the Hawk Clan. Flower Knight apparently decides to stay and help Fujineko and the others, though she promises to stay in touch with her parents back in this dimension. Story Arc complete.

Final Thoughts:

Alright, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't impressed with this arc. The custom characters (for the most party) are very well done, the story is incredibly detailed yet manages to come to a satisfying conclusion, and the dialog and clues kept me interested throughout all five missions. This is easily one of the best arcs I've played.

However, I do have a few nits to pick First of all, the Kunoichi and Shugenja of the Spider Clan were obviously just recolored Fortunatas and Mu Mystics, respectively. This isn't really a big deal, especially in an arc as full as this, but given that they appear in the same enemy group as the otherwise completely-custom Spider Clan, it was noticeable enough to slightly detract from the "feel" of the group. Only slightly, though

Second of all, the fate of Chimera. I'm not sure if this story arc is supposed to follow canon or not, but the fact that Chimera dies in the fourth mission of this arc seems to defy the canon storyline. In fact, Chimera's entire relationship with Lady Sayaki probably contradicts the "official lore" of this game, though it's a comparatively small contradiction compared to some arcs I've played. I usually don't care when story arcs do this; it's just that, until that point, the story seemed to be adhering to the official lore as close as possible, with most of the story taking place in the alternate dimension of Perogan. The whole thing is easily overlooked if you consider the story "non-canon" anyway.

Finally, the four generals in the last mission. Two of them were recolored Arachnos archvillains, but the other two were completely custom characters. The strangest thing was that, based on their names ("General Mako" and "Black Scorpion"), you'd EXPECT them to be Arachnos AVs, but the fact that they weren't seem oddly inconsistent. Again, I'd understand if this was due to a lack of file space, but then why name them after Arachnos AVs to begin with?

With all that said, none of these things detracted from this story arc nearly enough to hamper my enjoyment of the arc overall, and if this is the level of talent I can expect from this author's other arcs, I'm defintely looking forward it!

If I had to give an exact score, this arc would be 4.5 Stars, but I'm more than happy to give "The Flower Knight Task Force":

Final Score: 5 Stars

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Alright, I'm not sure when I'll get around to my next review (my schedule for tomorrow is completely booked, unfortunately), so if I don't get around to it before Christmas, hope everyone on these boards has a happy holiday season