LineN0iz

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Skills are shelved.

Inventions? :-)

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Skills weren't supposed to be the Super Secret Out of Combat System, were they?

Is the SSOCS still coming? Looking forward to advancing my army of alts thru something OTHER than combat.

Oh! And inventions sound like a blast! w00t!

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Holy crap. I went away for over a year, and the SSOCS still hasn't come?

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LIES!! This is obviously left wing democratic propaganda!

If you dig deeper into the data, you'll see that cancer is the least of their problem. Most of them will not survive their current trauma to head and body from various weapons, repeated electricution, incineration, and psychological damage to the mind.

Raising concern of their cancer is merely a smoke (punt) screen to further the social engineering agenda to tolerate criminal activity, expansion of police expediture, and the curtailing of superhero activities that have done so much to improve the safety of this city.

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I actually tried to write it from that perspect, which isn't easy as a conservative. Glad it worked.

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Good lord, I hope they don't find out how many bad guys I've infested with radiation sickness!

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Nah, that's better! Chemotherapy!

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Best SG post.

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Thanks.

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Crimanal health???...I ARREST people with my SWORD

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The article states that there are other issues they've been treated for, and it only mentions arrested criminals, not dead ones. Soviet Commando doens't arrest many criminals, anyway.

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This is a pretty funny way to explain why SG are getting nerfed, you know.

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I tried.

Letters to the Editor
Dear Mr. Funkerly,

In regards to your article on cancer, I say, good! Let the thugs and jerks get their cancer! I've been a citizen here in Paragon City for 34 years, and I am tired of seeing all these criminal elements laughing and joking and being a nuissance on practically every street corner!

So they get cancer? Good. Maybe they'll die sooner and I won't have to spend my tax money on taking care of them in prison.

Mark A. Perea
Reader

High Percentage of Criminals Test Positive for Cancer
Causes linked to crimefighting superheroes
By William P. Funkerly (AP)

Paragon City - In the past three months, Paragon City prisons, most notably the Ziggurat, have been reporting an unusual amount of health problems amongst inmates, most alarmingly a high rate of cancer.

Sheriff's Deputy Ronald St. Cyr believes he knows the reason. "Many superheroes seem to be using a chemical smoke compound to subdue the criminals they arrest and bring to us. Most of the inmates we find to be testing positive for cancer are the same inmates who had been detained with these measures."

Dr. John Hagler, chief physician at Cygnus Medical Center, says he has treated several of these inmates who had also been burned badly by other types of attacks. "This is a serious matter. It is, of course, important to bring these people to justice, but at what cost? We need too look out for their health as well as the law-abiding citizens of Paragon City."

Geko Industries, the leading manufacturer of the smoke grenades commonly used by superheroes, issued the following statement:

"We believe that our products are necessary for the preservation of peace and lawful order. However, in light of recent research, we will be reformulating our Smoke Grenade Mk I product. The new formula will have far less carcinogens and we will try to maintain as much effectiveness as we can.

"Unfortunately, the main ingredients which cause the smoke to be so effective is one of the chemicals we will have to remove. As such, heroes may notice a slight decrease in the effectiveness of our product."

Geko Industries apologized publically Friday for any pain or suffering they may have unknowingly caused. A donation of $14 Billion dollars was made by the company to Cygnus Medical, earmarked for cancer research. GKI (nyse) closed Friday at 27.89, down 5.5 points.

Soviet Commando, a newly arrived superhero in Paragon City, believes that the change may be necessary, but is unsure how it may affect his crimefighting.

"In Soviet Russia where I come from, we did not worry about cancer or criminal rights. We did what we had to do to get [the] job done. Yet, in your country, I know, everyone has right to pursue happiness, even criminal[s]. I supose that is [a] good thing, but now I have to change [my] tactic[s]. Oh well. I survive[d] Afghanistan, I survive[d] Spetnasz [Russian special forces] training... I [will] survive this, also."

Harris: First of all I would like to thank you for taking the time to appear on the program.

Nucleus Man: No problem, Steven.

Harris: Could you tell the viewers at home a little bit about how and why you became a hero.

Nucleus Man: Well, it started with sabotage, actually. I was doing research on cold fusion, and my "partner" decided he'd rather have all the glory, so he tried to kill me. The ensuing explosion endowed me with my powers, and since I had lost all my notes on cold fusion, I felt the need to help the world in a nother way - and to stop people like my former colleague.

Harris: What would you say is the greatest reward for being a hero?

Nucleus Man: A lot of people feel it's great just to help out - and it is. However, I've gotta tell you, I was a nerd growing up, not much luck with the ladies - all that has changed, my friend. All that has changed.

Harris: Have you ever found there is any drawback to being a hero?

Nucleus Man: You mean aside from all the archvillains out there gunning me down? No, I guess not.

What is going through your mind when you are in a dangerous situation that could lead to civilian casualties? That must be a scary situation.

Nucleus Man: You have to be careful, of course. Villains aren't ones to keep innocent people out of the way - often times they use them against you. You just have to assess each situation individually, I suppose. It isn't something I do conciously, it's just something that falls into place.

Harris: How do you feel about people that use their powers for crime like the outcast or the super villains we starting to see around the city?

Nucleus Man: Growing up, it was always the tough kids that picked on me, the bullies. It's the same thing now. There are people who have such low self-esteem they have to flaunt their power to feel better about themselves, instead of using to better mankind.

What do you think is going through these criminals minds when they commit these acts?

Nucleus Man: Well, if I'm on the seen, about 14 kilorads of radiation! Haha! No, seriously, I think it's just a powertrip issue. I think this criminals just ned to feel in charge and in control. You should read some of these books by John Douglas, great guy, really helps you understand the criminal mind.

How do you feel about the various anti hero and anti mutant groups that believe heroes course more problems then they solve? Given the amount of work heroes do for the city this must be quite upsetting.

Nucleus Man: I think they should come to Paragon City and see what it's like. I wonder, too, if they feel police officers cause more problems than they solve?

and finally, have you ever worked along side the Statesman? What is he like?

Nucleus Man: No, I haven't, but I was there when he announced the moratorium was ending for Hero 1. I was very moved. My cape got lost on my move here, anyway, but I just ordered a new one. With the lifting of the moratorium, the cape companies are all running out of stock, though. They said it could take up to two more months before it was ready - then again, I've gone this long without one. What's two more months?

I would like to thank you for coming on the show and on behalf of the citizens of Paragon city thank you for keeping the streets safe

Nucleus Man: It's been my pleasure.

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For the envy and admiration of your peers?

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You didn't answer the other question, though, and it's one I'm generally curious about. Do we retain all of our rights to the story?

Mini Origins

N1N-J4
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Yoshi Morimoto was a birlliant engineer from Japan, and an expert in robotic technologies. When the United Mars Corporation asked him to build them mining droids and other utility robots, he jumped at the chance to utilize their facilities for his own dream - a hero without emotion, loyal only to his preprogrammed code of ethics and not subject to greed or envy.

During the day, Morimoto designed and constructed mining robots, serving robots, and all sort of other droids. At night, when most of his staff had left, he began building his prototype, the N1N model robot. It took several attempts before getting a working model, one that was satisfactory in skill and ability. Prototype J4 was operational.

Unfortunately, UMCorp did not take kindly to Morimoto working on his own robots in their facilities. The referenced his contract as an employee, and dictated that the robot, N1N-J4 belonged to them. No matter, they said, we will let you continue. However, you must build us an army of them.

So Morimoto sent his N1N-J4 bot to Paragon City for beta testing. The data he gathers helps him tweak and modify the programming, setting up his factory for the N.I.N.J.A. Project, the Notably Intelligent Network of Judo Androids.

The only glitch he hasn't worked out, yet, is N1N-J4's affinity for Styx.

***

Super Rabbi
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Yacob Benslomo was an ordinary boy, growing up in orthodox Lakewood, New Jersey. He went to the synagogue three times a week, prayed over every meal, followed all the laws and commandments of God. At his Bar Mitzvah, he announced he wished to attend rabbinical school so he may teach the way of his people as he had been taught.

A devout student, Rabbi Benslomo discover Kabbala at the age of 40, the mystical side of judaism. It was through hard study and reflection that the rabbi learned of the true power available to him through his faith - the ability to heal his fellow man.

Turning his psionic and healing abilities to everyone's advantage, he left for Rhode Island to find others he could share his gift with, both Jew and Gentile.

***

Soviet Commando
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Sergei Yevgeniyovich Borodin was a hard man, a devout follower of Stalinistic communism. he was a hero in the Afghani uprising, and a trained professional, a member of the Soviet Union's elite Spetsnaz.

On a cold winter day, far into the Ukraine, Sergei came across a strange site: men in strange robes, oddly reminiscent of the Russian Orthodox Church, chanting in a circle around a green smoke, a small woman trapped inside.

Religion, being the opiate of the masses, had been all buy destroyed in the USSR, and as an elite commando and member of the Communist Party, Sergei Yevgeniyovich felt it his duty to save this woman. As he approached, the chanters turned and chanted something at him. He felt dizzy, nauseous.....

...When he awoke, he found he was in the United States, somewhere called Paragon City. He discovered that many years had passed, and that since then, the Soviet Union he so loved had fallen and crumbled.

Instilled with a sense of pride over the villainy of this mages, he took it upon himself to fight back the tyranny (however ironic that may be) and fight for justice, so that some day all of mankind may live in equal harmony according to their needs and ability.

(P.S. This is fun)

(I will do one of these for each of the characters I have written one for)

The Creation of a Nucleus

He locked me in, Dr. Adams thought, left me to die.

Dr. Robert Adams had been a child prodigy, well on his way to earning a Nobel Peace Prize for his studies and contributions to nuclear physics. He graduated high school by twelve, had his bachelor's at fourteen, and a docotrate in nuclear physics by eighteen.

The government wanted him badly, be it the Navy's nuclear department, the air force's weapons facilities, even DARPA and Los Alamos were banging on his door. Dr. Adams didn't want any part of it - he wanted to do his research for the better of humanity, not the destruction of it.

I could have discovered cold fusion. I was close. Now it's all over.

Working on a government grant, Dr. Adams set up a laboratory at the nuclear power plant in San Onofre, California with his partner, Dr. Julio Alvarez. Dr. Alvarez was smart, but he always felt a sharp jealousy towards the much younger Dr. Adams. Dr. Alvarez was almost 45 with nothing to show but a few minor articles printed in various science publications.

Furthermore, he knew Dr. Robert Adams was close to discovering cold fusion, and he was ready to sell those secrets to the highest bidder - but he had to do away with Dr. Adams first. Setting up an "accident" at the power plant would be the best way.

And so it was that Dr. Adams found himself locked in his lab, surrounded by his various chemical and nuclear experiments and notes, as the alarms went off, indicating a radioactive metldown.

Dr. Alvarez had laughed as he sealed the vault door to the lab, but just as the door sealed shut, his laughter turned to into a shriek. The emergency door had sealed him in as well, stuck between the vault and safety - he had doomed himself as well.

And now, cold fusion may never be realized.

When the reactor detonated, the safety measures at San Onofre contained the blast to the lab and a few surrounding areas. There were only two reported casualities, although bodies of niehter Dr. Adams or Dr. Alvarez were ever discovered.

***

It was in those last moments that I took cover under my experiment table. It seemed foolish at the time, reminiscent of the 'duck and cover' exercises children were subjected to in the 50's, but I'm glad I did it. I had had the desk lined with lead, which didn't stop the hundreds of chemicals and radioactive material from falling un me, but it seems to have filtered much of the blast.

My NBC suit was ruined, of course, but here I am, alive, and endowed with the most wonderful powers. I lost my notes, and I can't remember my formulas - but now I can help mankind in another way. Now, I can fight back villainy and find and defeat my archnemesis, Dr. Alvarez - Dr. Moribund.