Ironik

I quite like your art. Definitely shows potential.

Have you seen someone about your depression? It's just a slight chemical imbalance in your brain. Knowing that doesn't alleviate the problem, but it does help you control it. All most people need is the right medications -- and sometimes just the right diet -- to change their outlook.

[ QUOTE ]
Ms. Belladonna

[/ QUOTE ]

Very cool. Sure wish I'd seen this thread an hour ago.

I've got a few critiques. First, some praise: you've got the good bones of a story, here.

My main take is that you need to focus on your spelling and grammar. Constant misspellings really do hinder reading enjoyment. Typos happen, but that's where careful proofreading comes into play. Writing isn't work -- rewriting is work. That includes proofing and editing.

The background information, while important to your tale, isn't all that interesting to me. I'd much rather see that information doled out through your comic story than have to read a wall of text.

Stylistically, there are some things I'd lose, such as the boxes directing people to read things that are simple restatements of what you just said. An example would be, "That was my com... father, Torroes Prime [See: Torroes Prime]. See, we had just beaten the Project Psi team [See: Project Psi]..." After a while it becomes humorous and slightly annoying, since there aren't any hyperlinks, and anyone who wants to read the further background of your tale is going to naturally seek out the other broadsheets.

Also, don't repeat things like "That was my com... father." Do it once to get the point across. (Although in this case, I'm not sure what the point was. Were you going for "Commander?" If it's a twist that his commander was his father, then make it a twist. Do something like showing Octavian standing up to Torroes and Torroes letting him get away with it, when no one else gets that privilege. Reveal later it's because they are father and son.)

I'm not crazy about the Project Psi story, to be honest. It reads like an imitation of River Tam from Firefly.

The paragraph you have in your OP lays out an interesting premise. What you need to do is find a cool and compelling way to present that story. Show bitter enemies fighting. Then show a threat to both of them. Then have them reluctantly team up. Then have one betray the other. (Given your premise, make it the hero, but you must give him a reason other than "I'm a hero.") Have that betrayal endanger the world. Then solve that problem without resorting to a deus ex machina.

Difficult? Hell yeah. But if you can tell that story, one about people being forced to compromise their morals for the greater good, while making it cool, you'll have achieved something ineffably cool.

[ QUOTE ]

Now there's a thought... Videographers are automatically immune in PvP zones! Or intangible... we can't hit them, they can't hit us. We are the Switzerlands of the PvP zones.


[/ QUOTE ]

Swiss Army Wife?

As I said in the other thread, the good die young. RIP.

That looks really cool. It really does look like it's from an animated film.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Remind me how you unlock that, pretty please.

[/ QUOTE ]
100 vanguard merits on any character with Archery or Trick Arrow.

[/ QUOTE ]

Too bad all my TAs are level 11-14. Heh.

Remind me how you unlock that, pretty please.

Holy frijole, that's awesome. Forget putting that on the side of a plane, I'd put that on the side of my face.

[ QUOTE ]
Not quite following how this is going to happen, but Tezzlah can help. She's elec/elec level 39. Global is @Zloth.

Edit: Justice server

[/ QUOTE ]

My main Brute is Future Shock (pic in sig), Elec/Elec, L42, Guardian.

I typed "Jomaro Kindred" into Google and the first link is his MySpace page. According to that, he logged in on 6-15-2008, so he's not dead in a ditch somewhere.

Maybe he doesn't know people have been trying to contact him because of a technical glitch somewhere. Or maybe he *is* dead in a ditch and someone has stolen his identity!

[ QUOTE ]
Ok so I have an OC that I would like to make into a hero. But my question is this: If I make the character into a hero, does that make NCsoft own the character? Will i be punished if some day along the line I publish something based on the character? This is all hypothetical, but I was just wondering. I hope this isnt a stupid question xD.

[/ QUOTE ]

If you're serious about someday publishing this character, my advice to you is DON'T DO IT. It's simply not worth the potential legal hassle down the road. If you're even halfway creative, you can surely think up a half-dozen similar characters that you wouldn't mind jettisoning if it comes to that.

[ QUOTE ]
Click

[/ QUOTE ]

I do apologize, but with that belt at that angle, it looks like those two are wearing tighty-whities.

Epic + win.

I have a slightly similar one of the titles Ironik has. These crack me up.

[ QUOTE ]
Not too many action shots in here, I don't tend to be screenshot happy.

Ghoulish Ghoulish Ghoulish

[/ QUOTE ]

Ha!

[ QUOTE ]
I have a feeling many of us have dreamed of doing just that, Blitzwing

I take terrible screenshots but what the heck.

Hello, sailor!

[/ QUOTE ]

Alternate title: "Stupid thong riding up...."

[ QUOTE ]
Heart of light

[/ QUOTE ]

Now that's cool.

[ QUOTE ]
This also effects normal mini skirts.. the color patterns appear in front and back, which makes for some interesting design possibilities.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, I messed about with it and came up with an interesting late-60s look for my Blaster, Tommi Gunn. In the link in my sig you can see her main look, which is a riff on the Family's '50s fedora-and-suit design, and she also has a modern, "hot sniper chick" costume, so I figured she could look like a killer go-go dancer.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
now if only they's let us use bikini 3 with skirts again ...

[/ QUOTE ]


lol God your awesome!!


I say we let Gamma have Jay's job for a week

[/ QUOTE ]

I just have ideas that are illegal in 6 states and 19 countries, not much art skill

[/ QUOTE ]

Fixed.

[/ QUOTE ]

only 6? damn, I'm slipping...

[/ QUOTE ]

California had a vote recently.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
now if only they's let us use bikini 3 with skirts again ...

[/ QUOTE ]


lol God your awesome!!


I say we let Gamma have Jay's job for a week

[/ QUOTE ]

I just have ideas that are illegal in 6 states and 19 countries, not much art skill

[/ QUOTE ]

Fixed.

[ QUOTE ]

Is This a Lost?

[/ QUOTE ]

Ooh, you should do a City Terminal for this pic. "Where I c mai defeats?"

[ QUOTE ]
Eo's Minion

[/ QUOTE ]

lol!

Very nicely done.

[ QUOTE ]
Heres one from my new Dom.

Sexy Demon Girl

i just love the look of the char and the background looks like a nice contrast imho.

[/ QUOTE ]

That does look nice -- very gothic.

I look forward to seeing them.

I immediately created 4 new alts with the free slots given with I12. I've also deleted a number and created new ones, so I really need to update the alphabet.

[ QUOTE ]
My favourite

[/ QUOTE ]

Nice.