Hallucinogen_NA

"Interesting. It looks like a robot, but I can sense some form of life energy," Cafea remarked. "Silicon based, perhaps? Oh, I'm sorry. Metallic being? Forgive me for asking, but could you describe your physical composition?" Cafea could never help himself around beings he had never before seen.

"It is times like this," said Cafea, watching the exchange, "that I am glad I reproduce by division."

"Well met," replied Cafea. "I shall tell you my name as well. . ."

A slow, sad melody filled the air, a chorus of instruments without names, but that sounded strangely familiar, as though everyone had heard them once but had long forgotten.

The music stopped abruptly. "Forgive me; I lapsed into my native tongue," Cafea said. "I suppose I must use the human's musical alphabet. C-A-F-E-A. Cafea."

A delightful chorus of otherworldly bells filled the room. "You think I am one of those idiotic creatures? The ones that want to destroy humanity, despite being products of it in the first place? Oh, forgive me! No, I am a member of the Collective. I assure you, I was never some foolish, self-righteous human environmentalist. If humans are so concerned with the world, perhaps they should follow their own moral precepts, no?" The bells chimed again.

Cafea made a noise like a string quartet playing a chord that quickly faded away. "Why are you scared of me?" he said to the newcomer, his voice echoing inside the being's head. "Don't tell me you are as xenophobic as those humans that swarm all over this planet."

((Whoops, called you "it". ))

Cafea glowed slightly gray at the word. "Yes. I would prefer a room with a large window." Night was such an irritating concept; in the depths of space, where he normally lived, there was never any shortage of light to feed on, but circumstances had changed. . . and certainly he could not wander around outside, unprotected.

((Bah, why do I have to be first? Not that I've waited that long or anything. . . ))

Cafea warped to the entrance of the Brown Dwarf. He felt fairly confident that, regardless of the colorful clientele here, there were few as colorful as him.

He meant it literally. He body was best described as a large, hovering blob of jelly. It acted as a sort of prism, scattering light in such a way that he appeared to be all the colors of the rainbow at once.

Cafea floated into the inn. He obviously had no mouth to speak of, but all the members of the Collective were accomplished telepaths. His voice traveled through the minds of those around him in much the same way sound travels through the air, and in fact few realized there was a difference.

"Hello," Cafea said to the bartender. "I do not believe I require a cup or a chair, but I would be delighted to enjoy the local atmosphere."

((Very well, then Cafea will be arriving soon. It's not so much I can't do his powers. . . it's more what he looks like, haha. . .))

((Can I use an alien that I don't actually have in CoX? Mainly because it would be completely impossible?))

Super Roby fell to the ground.

"After all this time, Super Roby has finally met his match! No matter what Super Roby does, the scary light doesn't go off! Super Roby is a failure!" He began to mew piteously.

"AAAAGH! GET THIS THING OFF ROBY'S CHEST!" Super Roby hurtled through the maze at top speed, banging into walls and making a huge amount of noise.

((Poor Curtis. ))

Super Roby suddenly remembered he had super strength, and lifted his paws of steel off the ground with ease.

He walked blithely into the maze. He would be lost within seconds.

"Yay!" Super Roby exclaimed, flying into the arena, and subsequently falling to the ground with a loud CLUNK.

"What kind of evil, sadistic person created this fight?" he exclaimed. "Super Roby can't fly anymore!" He struggled to get up, weighted down by his paws of steel.

((EDIT: Wait. . . does two on two mean two for each Master, or two sets of two total?))

((I'd GM, but I believe I placed last. . .))

Nice job on the guide, first of all. . .
Secondly, on the concept of "natural" characters. I disagree that Natural is a point of view. A Natural character is one who has, on the whole, normal powers for their race. A Peacebringer is Natural because all Kheldians have similar powers. But a magical alien is Magic, because, well, he uses magic. Even if his whole race does, it is still magic. Natural and Alien are NOT always the same thing.

Your guide is an excellent one for creating HUMAN natural characters. But I feel it should be clarified that is what it is for. I kind of see two sides to the Natural origin, one that is humans with "natural" abilities and one that is anything that CAN'T be another origin. My villain, Schizophrenias, is natural, but only because he is a physical manifestation of insanity created by mutant powers (but is not Mutant since he is not a mutant himself). His powers are not very natural feeling (mind control, thorny assault, flight. . .) and if there was something better, I'd use it, but bizarre concepts like that need an origin they can use. Note that if an Alien origin existed (a bad idea since there are aliens of all origins), I would still have to make Schizophrenias a Natural because there would still be nothing else possible.

. . . I have no idea what my point is.

You all suck.

. . . No, seriously, here are my REAL critiques. . .

Devious: You definitely live up to your name, and are great at creating cool situations and characters. It can be a little frustrating just how clever your characters tend to be, but. . . I don't mind that too much. I still hate the Doc's experiments, though. Stupid crystal thingy.

Soviet: I like your elegance. You can write one sentence and have it be as effective as three. Your characters can be pretty dang one-dimensional, but they tend to be very effective and entertaining anyway.

Essex: Actually, I'm not sure I can think of anything I don't like about your style. . . I love melodrama. I guess I too am a drama. . . um . . . wonder what the masculine version is. . . "gigolo" is the only thing I can think of and that sounds REALLY weird. I also like the way you don't always have to have your characters dodge/resist/etc everything.

Prodiguy: I like your characters a lot, Experiment is a lot of fun. He does tend to attempt to do everything by himself, though. It's part of his personality, I understand, but regardless. . . On the plus side, your focus on your own character allows you to give more backstory and insight into your characters.

I don't think I'm familiar enough with anyone else's style to criticize it.

Okay then, tell me how I'm doing everything wrong. Schizo has Thorn Barrage up.

"Well," Enrique said, after Moonscribe had left. "Who shall enter the next fight? I could choose myself, but letting you squabble would be more entertaining."

"Who cares," said Schizo, sulking.

"ROBY WANTS TO FIGHT! ROBY WANTS TO FIGHT!" Super Roby screamed at the top of his lungs, which were, since he was a cat, quite small.

"I have already fought," Hal said, "and on an unrelated subject, who are you and what do you want with us? I will continue to ask until you tell me."

Saint Gabriel shrugged. "I do not wish to fight, and I will not if I do not have to. My way is the way of peace, and meaningless combat mocks it, as I told you when you "convinced" me to join you as a gladiator."

"Very well," said Enrique, ignoring Schizo's sulking, Hal's question and Gabriel's insinuations. "Super Roby, you shall fight next."

"YAY! ROBY WINS!" yelled Super Roby, and fur from his body flew everywhere in concentrated bursts like missiles. There were great explosions of fur everywhere, and everyone was shortly spitting it out of their mouths and brushing it off of their clothes.

"It's a good thing Roby's fur grows back SUPER FAST!" Roby said, as his fur quickly returned to normal.

"Welcome," Enrique said, appearing out of nowhere at the head of a long table in his quarters. All his gladiators were seated around the table. "While we wait for the next match, let us review tactics."

"Who are you?" Hal demanded, before anyone else could speak. "What do you want? Answer me!"

Enrique ignored him. "Schizophrenias. You do remember our previous discussion?"
Schizo leered at him. "Certainly. I seem to remember that I was supposed to follow some stupid rules. Thing is, what if I forgot that I wasn't allowed, say, to sabotage another contestant beforehand. . ."

"Then I will destroy you," Enrique said. "I insist that we play fairly, even if no one else does."
"At least you possess that virtue," Saint Gabriel said. He was dressed in a blue and white robe, and was very handsome, his skin smooth and dark.

Moonscribe did not speak; he appeared to be looking at something that was not there, and typing on an invisible keyboard; he was tall and thin, with fair skin and glasses that somehow always reflected light off the lenses, so that his eyes were concealed.

Super Roby, however, leaped into the air, knocking over the table and sending Gabriel to the ground. "When do we get to fight? Super Roby wants to destroy evil! FEAR THE MIGHT OF SUPER ROBY, BRINGER OF THE APOCALYPSE!"

"Shut up," Enrique saids calmly. "You will have a chance to fight, Roby, do not worry. Moonscribe. I do not trust Schizo. You are an advocate of fair play. Why don't you rewrite a few natural laws. Make it impossible for any of us to cheat."

"WHAT?!?" Schizo exclaimed, but Moonscribe nodded. "A difficult operation, but I suspect the reprogramming will only take a few hours."

"Excellent. Do so," said Enrique.

"Your wish is my command, Pharoah," Moonscribe said, getting up to leave.

"I cannot believe that idiot Hallucinogen lost that fast!" Schizophrenias said, as he floated in midair, somehow watching the battle despite the blindfold and barbed wire tied around his eyes. "He's pathetic. Why can't I go and beat up those losers?"

"It would be cheating," Enrique said behind him. "Cheating is heavily punishable, you know. . ."

"So what?" Schizo said, tossing a thorn into the crowd below him and ignoring the resulting cry of pain. "It's no different from stealing from Arachnos, except they have better security."

"Enough," Enrique said angrily. "I forbid you to interfere. I created you and Hallucinogen, and I hold the power to wipe you from existence. And I will, if it comes to that."

Enrique teleported away, as Schizo repeated what he had said in a childish, mocking tone.

Hal's Phantasm disappeared, and the teleporter warped him away to safety.

"Go away," Hal said, as Enrique appeared beside his bed.
"It was not really your fault," Enrique said, ignoring this. "You were unfairly outmatched, two against three. . . Still, however, I would have expected better from one of my creations."
"Tell me who you are, and how you created me!" said Hal angrily, but Enrique had already gone.

Hal considered pressing the attack on Star Scout for a moment, but the robot seemed to be out of the picture for the moment. More importantly, no one was currently attacking him. Hal conjured a new Phantasm, dismissing the old one wherever it was, and ordered it to guard him while he began healing himself more thoroughly.

Hal fired another blast of light at the robot. He wished his Phantasm could help him out, but he had sent it to attack Burning Brawler. . . and his illusions were useless against a robot without a biological mind.

Knowing that the best way to not get hit was probably to keep attacking, Hal ran after Star Scout. Raising his hands, he fired a powerful electromagnetic pulse at the robot.

Hal saw Star Scout coming after him and swore under his breath. Didn't they have the courtesy not to attack him when he was already in trouble? Not that he had any such courtesy. . . Hal sighed and sent a blast of light at Star Scout. Better to reveal himself that way than by getting clobbered.

He hoped no one would realize that one more good hit would take him out. . . Hopefully the others were busy with his teammate, but he did't like the look of Star Scout's gauntlets.

Hal snapped his now heavily singed fingers, and his Phantasm reappeared, fully reformed and heading straight for Burning. There was no way he could survive much longer against this assault, so there was no point in doing anything but attacking.