FloatingFatMan

Tonight, at 9pm, Fire Guardian will take up the banner of all AR/* blasters everywhere, as he tries to gain vengeance on me, FloatingFatMan, for impugning the good name of the set! (Ha!)

He will take on, with no level cap, my triform PeaceBringer in a no holds barred attempt to gain justice for my maligning of the AR set!

So, come one, come all, to enjoy the spectacle of FG getting a right royal pasting TONIGHT, at 9pm, Union Server, Galaxy City Arena!!!

Ask and ye shall receive!

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Chapter 6


19th October, 2004

I'm going to try to write down here what's happened in the last few weeks. Maybe coming back to what I've written later on, will help me deal with what's happened.

Let's see… Back on the 22nd, Suzy and I spent that morning together in my room, and then we went out for the afternoon. We had lunch, she showed me some sights, and generally had a laugh. Once it had gotten dark, she asked me if I could take her flying again, so of course, I did. We went up pretty high and we could see the city below us, stretching out for miles. It really is a massive place.

Then we went back to the hostel just before ten.

Suzy invited me to her room, so I said sure thing, and she unlocked it and stood aside for me to go in first. Then everything went black and the last thing I can remember is a sharp pain in my left arm.

When I woke up, I was lying on a table in a really brightly lit room. I was strapped down and Mogs was nowhere to be seen. I tried calling out but there was no answer for a real long time. I must have laid there for hours, trying to break those straps, but I couldn't shift them.

Then someone finally came into the room. I couldn't see their face clearly at first as they were behind me, but after a little while they moved to where I could see them. It was Suzy, wearing some kind of lab coat! She told me that they weren't going to hurt me, just run some tests so they could find out why I could fly. She was being all nice, even stroked my cheek and said she was really sorry they'd had to do this.

I tried begging her to let me go, but she just shook her head and told me not to worry and it wouldn't be long before I could go. I even tried asking her where Mogs was too, but she just ignored me.

Then she started doing all sorts of tests… First she took some blood, and then she put me through a load of different machines. I was pretty scared by now; after all, you hear stories of people just, disappearing… I was terrified they were going to do something horrible to me.

They kept me there for weeks; running their stupid tests, taking more and more blood, asking me questions about how I could fly, whether I could do other things too. They got my name and stuff from me, and found out about my accident; then they somehow got into the records from my visit to the ministry. That's when things got really unpleasant.

Several other people started showing up and asking me more questions, some of them in some kind of military uniform, quite a few of them Chinese military as well. They started asking me lots of questions. They asked me about the Kheldians, where they came from, how many were there, what did they want. How am I supposed to know? All I know is one of them helped me, and screwed up my life in the process!

Then all those people left, and I was pushed into a tiny room with just a mat on the floor, and a bucket. No idea how long I was there for. Food would get pushed through a slot in the door, mostly a watery soup and some bread, but nobody came in for a long time. I spent most of the time curled up on the bed, sleeping sometimes, or worrying about Mogs.

After what felt like forever, a guard came and brought me back to that first room and strapping me to a metal chair. Suzy was there and she told the guard to leave me with her. Once he'd gone she touched me on the cheek again, and said she was really sorry this had happened.

All I wanted was to get the hell out of there, but she said that wasn't possible anymore. They'd decided they wanted to study me some more, so I was going to be taken to America. I yelled at her, I cried, hell… I even tried begging again. All I wanted to do was to be left alone! Suzy DID look really sorry, but she said it wasn't her choice. But she DID have some good news for me…

Then she went to a side room, and came back a few minutes later carrying a cat box. Mogs!!! He was OK!

He was meowing really loud and trying to get out of the cage so Suzy opened it, and he ran over, jumping onto my lap. That's when it all happened.

When he landed on my lap, I felt a rush of… something! I felt like I could, I dunno… break out of there, so I did! I flexed my arms and tore right through the leather straps holding me down to the chair, and headed for the door really fast, with Mogs hanging on to my shoulder. Suzy called out and a guard came running through and I… I…

Oh that poor man. I didn't want to do that… But I had to escape! They had no right to just kidnap me and hold me there! After I'd done it, I glanced behind me, at Suzy. She was aiming a funny looking gun at me, so I just pointed my hand at the wall, and fired a blast of light at it! The wall got smashed apart and I could see some light outside so I just dived through the hole, right as there was a high pitched noise and a sudden cold passed by me!

I flew out of there as fast as I could; looking back just once to see Suzy looking through the hole, up at me as I flew away. Once I'd gotten as far away as I could, I stopped a bit to figure out where I was. Still in Shanghai but a long way from where the hostel was. I headed back there to see if my stuff was still around.

The manager was pretty surprised to see me! He'd thought I'd just left without paying my bill and stuff! He still had my things in a locker, so he let me have them, I paid him from what money there was in my backpack, and left. I couldn't stay there; it was the first place they'd look for me.

I spent the night hiding down by the docks, in a half empty shipping container I found open.

I didn't sleep that well in the night; kept seeing that poor guard as I… as I killed him. The shock in his eyes as that blinding light fired out of my own, and went straight through his chest… I know I had to do it, they would have ended up killing me in the end, but I've never done anything like that before, and I never want to do it again! Doing that made me just as bad as them! I hope he didn't have a family.

This morning, I dug my map out, trying to figure out where to run to. Japan looks good, I think I can fly that far.

I got some supplies from a Market at the docks, keeping a watch out for anyone looking for me, and as soon as I had what I needed, I headed to a quiet spot, and after making sure Mogs was safe in my backpack, took off; flying straight up until I was above the clouds where no one could see me. Then I checked if I was going the right way on my compass, and flew as fast as I could.

It took me most of the day, and I'm pretty tired now, but I made it to Japan (I think). I've pitched my tent in a little forest and am going to try to get some rest. Maybe in the morning things will seem a bit less bleak.

How could Suzy have done that to me? I trusted her, I liked her, and I thought she liked me too. I feel so, betrayed… I'm never going to trust anyone ever again.



Jess stopped reading, and put the diary on the counter. So THAT was why Ellie hated Crey so much; she’d never said anything to her about any of this. Oh, the poor thing! Having to deal with all that on top of what she’d just been through in that desert.

Jess sniffled a little and sipped her now cold tea. Making a wry face, she concentrated on the cup for a few seconds, and steam started to rise from the now hot liquid. She glanced up at the clock, 7:15; Ellie will be up soon, and Josie. Time to make breakfast for everyone.

Finishing her tea, Jess got up and rinsed the cup out, then headed to the fridge for some eggs. After mixing them in a bowl with a hint of pepper, she got out some cheese and ham ready for the omelettes and then headed out the kitchen to wake people up.

In the hall, she heard the quiet sounds of the TV coming from the lounge. Poking her head around the door, she saw Josie curled up on the sofa, her arms around her favourite teddy bear, and watching some cartoons.

Jess walked into the lounge and leant on the back of the sofa. “Morning sweetie”

Josie looked up with a grin, “Hi mum! You’re up early!”

“Mmhmmm… Been up awhile, reading.”

“Oh, reading.” Josie grinned up at her mum, her green eyes sparkling a little in the early morning light. “I’m hungry.”

Jess smiled, “I’ll be making omelettes in a moment, just going to check if your other mum is up yet or not.”

“She’s in the shower, I heard her a few minutes ago.”

“Your ears… I don’t know, you’re as bad as your mother when it comes to hearing things!” Jess chuckled as she ruffled Josie’s blonde hair, and scratched lightly behind the small cat ears on the top of Josie’s head. Then, after leaning down to kiss Josie lightly on the top of her head, she headed upstairs.

Entering hers and Ellie’s bedroom, she heard the sounds of the shower from their en-suite bathroom and went inside. She could make out Ellie slim form behind the frosted glass of the shower cubicle and with a grin, dumped her dressing gown on the floor, slipped her nightie off, and slid the door open.

“Boo!”

Ellie turned around, startled, and with a thud, the bar of soap she’d been holding fell on the floor, “Oh you! You made me drop the soap!”

Jess chuckled and bent down to pick it up, before stepping into the shower with Ellie, closing the door behind her, “Sorry about that; mind if I join you?”

Ellie smiled back, “Uh, you already have! And of course I don’t mind, silly!”

Jess lathered her hands up on the soap, and started to run them over Ellie’s body, washing her gently as they talked, “I’ve got everything ready for some omelettes; Josie’s already up, watching cartoons.”

Ellie made a slight purring sound as Jess washed her, “Hmm… Thanks love, and sounds yummy! Ham and cheese?” Ellie took hold of the soap as she spoke, and after lathering up, started to return the favour.

“Just as you like it, with a hint of pepper in the mix.”

“Hmmm… Nice.”

Jess looked thoughtfully at her wife as she washed her, wondering whether to ask her about the incident in Shanghai. After a few minutes consideration though, she decided against it. If Ellie wanted to talk about it, fine; but she wasn’t about to bring back some bad memories if she could avoid it. No doubt everything is she wanted to know would be in the diary.

Several minutes later, they both stepped out the shower and stood in the drier Hannah had installed for them. Pressing the button, Ellie stood in the stream of warm air as it dried her, and Jess smiled as she joined her.

Once dry, Ellie put her arms around Jess, “Hmm, Cosy… What time did you get up anyway?”

Jess shrugged, “Oh about five-ish, not too sure actually.”

Aww.. Poor love! You go sit down in the lounge once you’re dressed then.. I’ll make the omelettes!”

Jess smiled and nodded, then pulled on some fresh clothes before heading downstairs. On the way to the lounge, she stopped off at the kitchen and retrieved the diary, then sat down and returned to her reading.


22nd October, 2004

I’m definitely in Japan. Spent the last couple of days laying low in this forest, running through my mind everything that had happened to try and understand it all. I’ve ventured out a few times, there’s a small village not too far from here and I got hold of a newspaper. Couldn’t read a word of it, but I DID recognize the lettering as Japanese. Finally, watching anime has come in useful!

As near as I can tell from the map, I’m not far from a city called Kagoshima. I think I’ll head in that direction tomorrow, and see about finding a hostel or something. I REALLY could use a bath...

Still keep dreaming about that poor man. Every time I close my eyes to try to get some sleep, I see his face looking at me.


23rd October, 2004

Arrived in Kagoshima this morning; this city is REALLY clean! Found a small hostel but I nearly couldn’t get a room as the manager wrinkled his nose at me; well, I guess I did look rather a mess. Fortunately he took pity on me, and rented me a room. It’s pretty small, but at least it has a shower! Clean at last!! I tell you, there’s nothing worse than having to wear the same pair of knickers for god knows how long...

This place has a small laundrette as well, so I spent a fair time inside getting my clothes washed, after I’d been to a bank and withdrawn some money.

Once I’d gotten my clothes clean, I’ve decided to try to get some sleep... I’m pretty tired and it’s been awhile since I’ve had a soft bed.


24th October, 2004

Had another bad dream last night, about that poor man again and some of the rest of it. Kept seeing Suzy as well, laughing at me.

Dragged myself out of bed around 12ish and went to find somewhere to eat. Kagoshima is a coastal city, though aren’t most in Japan? Anyway, lots of different fish dishes here which Mogs loves, though what I wouldn’t do now for a nice bacon sarnie…

I’ve decided I need to turn myself in. Telling someone what I’ve done is the only way to deal with this, but I’d rather do it to someone I can actually TALK to, so I went looking for a British consulate. Searched for hours before I eventually came across a tourist information place. The people there spoke some English but they told me the nearest consulate is in Tokyo. Got some information about trains and stuff, and they sold me a train ticket for tomorrow.

Headed back to the hostel by early evening to try to get an early night. Tomorrow, I’m going to Tokyo and hand myself in.


25th October, 2004

I’m locked up in a private suite in the British consulate in Tokyo.

I got into Tokyo this morning, just after 11, and after checking with a local map, I made my way here. Took quite a long time of waiting around before I was finally able to talk to someone about what had happened. The guy I was talking to, an aide of some kind, stopped me half way through my story and made a call, and a little while later, this really skinny bald guy came in. He said he was a liaison officer and worked with meta-humans.

So I started my story again, starting from when I met Suzy and going through everything I could remember. By the time I got to the part about the guard I was a sobbing wreck, so they let me stop for a rest and some tea. Eventually though, I got the entire story out. The men looked pretty serious, but said I’d done the right thing in reporting what had happened.

The bald guy left the room for about half an hour, and when he came back he said he’d arranged a room there for me to stay at whilst they checked my story. Then they brought me up here and I’ve been here since. A middle aged woman brought me some dinner earlier, beef stew! But otherwise, I’ve been left alone the past few hours.


26th October, 2004

More questions and retelling the story again today. The bald guy was back, along with some police from Shanghai as well as some Tokyo cops. I was pretty scared I can tell you, but I went through everything that had happened again, told them where the place was I’d been held and everything.

Once I’d done, they left me alone in the interviewing room for an hour or so; nothing to do except sit there and cuddle Mogs until they came back. When they DID come back though, I had quite a surprise.

They’d sent some people to the place I’d told them about, but it was deserted. No sign of any labs, no sign of a hole in the wall, no dead guard, nothing. The shanghai police were quite cross that I’d wasted their time and expense, with them being brought over to Tokyo, and the Japanese cops weren’t too impressed either. There was lots of yelling and threats of prosecuting me for wasting police time!

The bald man just sat there though, watching me, and listening to all the yelling. Eventually though, he spoke to the cops, in Chinese and Japanese, and they left; they didn’t look happy either.

Once they’d gone, the bald guy just sat there looking at me. I was feeling pretty stressed from all the yelling and stuff, but after a little while, I began to feel much calmer. Then the bald guy spoke.

He said he believed me! He said he’d looked into my mind, and seen what I had seen, but that as the place had been cleaned out, there just wasn’t any proof! He actually read my mind! I’ve heard about telepaths of course, but... wow! I was pretty surprised but, somehow, I didn’t feel angry that he’d been poking around in my head. Guess it was just tiredness, and relief that at least someone believed me.

He spoke to me for a long time. Told me he understood the guilt and upset I must feel about having killed that man, but that it really wasn’t my fault. I’d done what I’d had to do in self defence, and that no-one could blame me for that. As he spoke, I realised he really was right, and all the horrid feelings that had been bubbling up inside just… faded away.

After a while, he asked me if I had any money, and what I planned to do. I thought about it for a bit; I do still have plenty of money, and I’m not really ready to go home, so I told him I thought I’d maybe like to stay in Tokyo for a while, and explore.

After a long talk, he left the room again for about 15 minutes or so, and when he came back he told me he’d arranged for me to stay at a guest house not far from the consulate. He then gave me a card with a number on it and told me to call if I found myself in trouble again. Then he showed me out, into a waiting cab that took me to the guest house.

I’m there now, sitting in this really pretty room they put me in. Y’know, in all the story telling and talking and stuff, I never caught that bald guys’ name.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Spellsong wondered if Winter Heart just didn't send away her mother by accident or impulsiveness, using the "name magic" she is starting to learn.

[/ QUOTE ]
Some one's teaching her such magic? Are they clinically insane? Or just even less responsible then Winter? Basic spells to make her feel safe, sure... and coaching her so she'll get the mentality to use it responsibly, but teaching her that... why not just stick her in a box and send her to the Rogues?

[/ QUOTE ]

So, let me get this straight. There's a somewhat messed up child running around that knows spells to "send people away"?

Oh dear... Cheque please!

The Hollows is a great experience for new players!! The whole zone teaches you the essential art of pathing, without which you're gonna have REAL problems moving around safely!

Besides, Frostfire is THE most fun mission in the low levels!

As for SG's, to the OP. This would be better posted in the Defiant forum, yes. There are lots of SG's out there, some very good, some not so. I don't advise you sign up with a blind SG invite, as that will just be people looking for a prestige monkey. One SG I can REALLY recommend, is The Awfully Nice Chaps (TANC), run by a friend and one of the best and most long running SG's out there. Been active since EU launch!

[ QUOTE ]
Um... Responses?

[/ QUOTE ]

Um... Patience?

FINALLY gotten some time to finish off Chapter 5... This week has been rather busy, no way I'm going to make the 30th now, but I WILL finish this story!


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Chapter 5

Jess woke with a start and lay still for a few moments, staring at the ceiling, before sliding out of the bed. Being careful not to wake Ellie, she padded over to the bedroom door, and taking her dressing gown from the door hook, slipped it on and headed downstairs.

In the kitchen, she put the kettle on and prepared a cup of cinnamon tea before glancing at the clock; five in the morning? What on earth was she doing up at that time of the morning? With a small sigh, she finished making her tea and sat on a stool by the counter, near Ellie's diary. She sat there for some time, sipping her tea and staring at the diary, deep in thought.

Roughly 20 minutes passed as she sat there, sipping her tea and staring at the book. Then, with a small sigh, she reached out and picked it up. She held the book in her hands for several more minutes, feeling the texture of the smooth leather cover in her hands. Eventually, she could resist it no longer, and opened the diary, turning it to the last entry she'd read.


26th August, 2004
Been here a few days now, mostly resting from my ordeal in the desert. It's very peaceful here, and the monks leave me alone most of the time, only really bringing me food and drink to the small room they've given me. Mogs seems much happier here, even content to let me walk around the place without sitting on my shoulder!

I was invited to talk to the Abbot of the place today, that old monk from before doing the translating. He's a pretty smart guy for someone who's lived most of his life in a monastery. He managed to get the whole story of what I was doing out here out of me, but didn't think any less of me for what's inside. He said that it doesn't matter what other people think of me; what's important is how I feel about myself, and what I choose to do with my life from now on. He said he could sense great potential within me, but what I did with that potential was up to me.

I spent most of the afternoon talking to him, and have been doing a lot of thinking too. Not sure what I'm going to do with myself just yet. I think I'll stay here a little while longer here; it's very peaceful and the monks only ask that I get well. I may feel OK, pretty good in fact, but I certainly don't look it! I finally saw myself in a mirror today (they don't really go in for things like that here), and boy am I a mess. Cracked lips, bags under my eyes, sunburn; and so THIN!

29th August, 2004
Something… AMAZING, happened today!

I was in one of the monks small orchards, resting against a tree with my eyes shut, when I heard one of the monks calling my name. When I opened my eyes, one of the monks was gesturing for me to come with him. He took me to a small room where one of the young monks, hell; a kid really, was laying in his bed, obviously in a lot of pain. The Abbot was there, and the old monk that had been doing the translating.

The told me the kid had fallen badly when out gathering herbs, and his leg was broken! They have no medicines there. I thought they wanted me to go fetch some or something, they know I can fly; but no. The Abbot said he wanted me to help!

I was pretty surprised and confused by that. I mean, how could I help? I'm no doctor… But the Abbot said I didn't know what I was, and took hold of my hands and put them on the boys broken leg. Not entirely sure exactly what happened then, but I felt a warm tingling in my fingers, and there was this pale green glow that spread from my hands into the boys leg!

After it stopped, the boy smiled and stood up! His leg was fixed! WOW!! I mean, like… That's just incredible!! I healed this kids' broken leg!


Jess stopped her reading for a moment, and smiled. It seemed Ellie was starting to discover some of the other things she could do, and that healing was one of the first… Well, she was happy Ellie had been able to help the injured boy. Still, it was somewhat puzzling that the Abbot knew Ellie would be able to help…


1st September, 2004
I'm still gob smacked by what I did. All the monks just seem to… take it in their stride! As if seeing someone heal a broken bone like that was perfectly normal!

Saw the Abbot again today, and I asked him how he knew I could do that, but he just smiled and said he'd had faith. That's not much of an answer!

I love this place, and the monks, but sometimes they can be SO INFURIATING!!


3rd September, 2004
After being on such a high note for the past few days, today was a bit different. The Abbot spoke to me again, and told me it was time I continued my journey. I don't want to leave, and he said that I was welcome to stay as long as I want, but that I won't find what I'm looking for here.

I guess he's right. As much as I love it here, it's so peaceful and everything; it's not somewhere I want to stay forever. So I'm going to pack my stuff up tonight, and say my goodbye's in the morning.


4th September, 2004
Said my goodbyes this morning to the Abbot and the other monks. They all gathered at the steps to the entrance to see me off. They've given me enough provisions to last me a couple of weeks, mostly dried stuff again and plenty of water. The Abbot held my hand and said some words, I guess giving me a blessing or something, then they all watched quietly as I turned and walked out of the monastery.

I decided to walk for a few hours, get some exercise. This flying lark is a lot of fun, but a girl needs to stay in shape! At least the scenery I'm going through now is very different to the desert. There's lots of rice paddies here, and the occasional house, well... hut really rather than house! I've seen a few people about but most keep their distance from me. Guess they're not used to strangers much around here.

Found a small village towards the evening. Got a got meal and drink at this tiny inn, and managed to get a room using sign language. Really must try to learn a bit of Chinese. The room is pretty basic, just a rough bed and a sink to wash in, but it beats sleeping outside.


6th September, 2004
Spent last night in my tent as I decided to fly for a bit rather than walk. Had to go up fairly high as I didn't want people to see me and get spooked or something. Landed inside a small grove of trees and pitched my tent there.

Not sure of my exact location, as though I've got a compass, map reading isn't exactly something I've ever learned before. I can fly really fast now though, so I think I've made pretty good progress across the country. Still heading east, though I don't feel that burning need to go that way anymore.


8th September, 2004
Came across a pretty big river today, and as far as I can make out from the map, I think it's the Yangtze River. I remember reading about that one in geography at school. If I'm right, then the map shows that it leads to Shanghai, so I think I'll follow it.

The days are pretty boring really, spend a lot of time just drifting through the clouds. Sometimes I fly really fast and everything shoots by in a blur, but more often than not, I'm taking it a lot slower. From time to time I drop back down to the ground for a rest.

The countryside here is really beautiful, but I have to say, it gets REALLY dull after a while. I'm starting to long for civilisation. Nothing to do out here except travel, and think.

Besides… It's been a long time since mum has heard from me… She must be worried sick. Must try to get in touch with her as soon as I can. Maybe dad will have calmed down a bit too.


12th September, 2004
God, is there no END to this country? It just goes on and on and on…


13th September, 2004
FINALLY!! Civilisation at last! Arrived at a city today… Called Chongquing I think, the sign was rather run down. Got a room in a hotel; there's banks here so I've been able to get some money at last. I only had a tiny amount the monks had given me.

Spent some of the afternoon looking around the city, and found a shop with a sign on it in English! I went inside, and it was a small school where they taught English! I spoke with the teacher, a big Canadian guy who'd been in China for years, and he helped me sort out a train ticket all the way to Shanghai! Spent a lot of time talking to him; Jimmy Ashcroft was his name. He was quite curious as to why I was all the way out here, somewhere tourists are almost unheard of. Decided to just tell him I was seeing the world before I had to settle down. Don't think he believed a word of it.

My train leaves really early tomorrow, so I need to get an early night tonight, or it's back to flying.


15th September, 2004
SHANGHAI!!

Wow, this place is amazing!!! Arrived early this morning and sorted out somewhere to stay, then decided to go look around. I've never been anywhere so incredible in my life! I think I'm going to be here a fair while, just so I can see everything there is to see!

Lots of westerners here, including a lot of backpackers as well. Loads of people to talk to! Make SUCH a change after my long journey. It's almost overwhelming.



16th September, 2004
Took in more sights to see, and managed to get my phone charged up as well! I called mum, and actually managed to talk to her! She was so happy to hear from me, and was amazed when I told her where I was. Decided not to tell her what had happened in the desert, I don't think she'd understand any of it. She said Dad hasn't said a word about me, but she's pretty sure he's regretting some of the stuff he said. He just won't admit it, stubborn old man!

Mum made me promise to call more often, to let her know I'm alright. Then she started crying and said she'd been so scared something had happened to me. Set me off crying too. Ended up talking to her till the credit ran out on my phone, so now I have to get some more credit on it.


18th September, 2004
Shanghai is so massive! If I tried to see everything there was to see, I'd be here for months!

But I can't... Things aren't that cheap here either, being very touristy, and I do have to watch how much I'm spending. Already managed to spend over £200 in the last 3 days so I need to start budgeting a bit better. Moved out of the place I was staying today, to a much cheaper backpacker's hostel. It's not so clean, but at least it's less than half the price. It's also a lot further off the beaten track so you need to be a bit careful moving around, especially at night. I've heard some stories from other backpacker's of muggings and the like, so I'll have to be wary.


19th September, 2004
Met a girl today, called Suzy. She's a backpacker as well, from Australia, 27 years old. She'd been around the world several times she said, and was heading towards home. She's ever so cute! Red hair, hazel eyes, tanned skin and a nice slender body, nice bum as well! AND she's pretty well stacked too! I wonder if she likes girls… It's been a while after all…

She showed me around a bit, some of the cheaper places to eat and shop. She told me lots of stories about some of the places she'd been too, and some of the places I should avoid. She's so smart too! A graduate in genetics and everything! She told me she was taking a sabbatical from her job, and that once she'd got back to Australia, she had a big project waiting for her at the big American company she works for, Crey Industries. I think I’ve heard of them.



20th September, 2004
There was a bit of trouble in the room next to mine last night. A couple of guys were having an argument about something and a fight ended up breaking out. Someone called the cops and they were both hauled off. From what I hear about the cops in Shanghai, they're going to really regret kicking off on one, bloody idiots. Suzy reckoned they were doing drugs or something.

Anyway, I spent the day with Suzy again, looking around the less touristy areas of the city. There's definitely a feeling of being watched all the time around here, makes me and Mogs a bit edgy. Still, no one bothered us or anything so I guess I'm just imagining it.

Suzy’s speaks fluent Chinese too! She ordered us a lovely dinner at a small restaurant and we chatted for hours about our lives. I told her a little bit about what happened at home; dad chucking me out and stuff. Didn’t mention the Kheldian thing though, not yet anyway. Don’t want to scare her off or anything.



21st September, 2004
They were right about the muggings. A couple of guys tried to rob me & Suzy earlier! Hah! Not as if we've got much worth taking anyway, but they didn't seem to let that worry them. Anyway, there was a lot of knife waving and yelling, I guess to hand over our money. Well sod that! Boy did they brick themselves when I just grinned at them, grabbed hold of Suzy, and flew into the sky!

I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone run quite so fast!

Big problem though; I think I scared the hell out of Suzy. She stayed quiet while I flew us back to the hostel, and once I'd landed and let her go, she ran to her room and slammed the door shut. I tried knocking on her door, to try to explain, but she didn't answer.

Went to bed feeling really depressed.


22nd September, 2004
Suzy came to my room this morning, really early; about 5am. She said she was really sorry for reacting how she did, she'd just never been near someone that had powers before and it all overwhelmed her. Then, she thanked me for saving her from those muggers, and kissed me! 

I was pretty surprised, but I like her a lot, so I kissed her back! Oooooh… She's a good kisser, gentle, and so sweet tasting… We must have stood there for ages before she stopped. Then she started to push me towards my bed…

Anyway… We left my room about lunchtime for something to eat, and a bit of a rest! Suzy had to make a phone call to someone so I ordered us some lunch at a small restaurant whilst she made her call. Then we spent the rest of the afternoon together!

I feel so happy again! Finally, things are looking up!


Jess paused in her reading for a moment, Suzy? Ellie had never mentioned anyone by that name and as for Crey… Well, Jess knew well that Ellie hated that company, and never had anything to do with them; especially after it became clear a few years ago that they'd been responsible for Ellie losing her job at Icon, all those years ago.

Turning the page to the next entry, she frowned as she saw that the page was blank, as were the next few pages. Finally, she found another entry, rather short, several pages further on and several weeks later in time.


18th October, 2004
Oh god, what have I done!?

Finished chapter 5, started chapter 6! 15,193 words down so far!

Will post Chapter 5 up once it's been checked over!

I'm puzzled by something... The event itself looks interesting but, well, how is it an RP event exactly?

But you posted it in the Union thread...

I'm WAAAAY behind, and probably won't hit 50k by the end of the month.

But I don't care! I'm writing what I want to write, at the speed I'm happy writing at!

[ QUOTE ]
Of course deciding to do it on October 30th probably didn't help.


[/ QUOTE ]

Well... I didn't decide till the 4th November, and started a day or so later!

So, what's your buddy name then? Wanna see what we're up against!

EDIT: Nevermind! Found you! Put an excerpt up!!

Yer've got pointy ears right? Yer mah lunch!

More elves?!?!

Maww!! Get mah shootin' iron!! We's having elf pie for suppa!

Well, I'm only at just over 11k, but I'm not worried... I'll either make it, or I won't.

Time for chapter four! This one was particularly difficult to write as it deals with imagery I'm not used to expressing. Still, I hope you like it!

************************************************** **************************************

Chapter Four


As she sat, staring at the broken glass on the counter, and soft voice echoed in her mind. It was Ellie, using the link they’d shared these past 11 years now, “Jess? Are you OK honey? What was that crash?”

Jess took a breath to steady herself, before replying. It was important to remain calm, or Ellie would sense how much the diary had affected her, “It’s OK love, I just dropped a glass is all.”

“Do you need a hand to clean it up?”, Ellie’s mental voice sounded a little like she didn’t quite believe Jess.

“No, it’s OK Ellie, I made the mess, I’ll clean it.”

After a few seconds, Jess felt Ellie presence within her mind retreat to its normal background level. Just a small glimmer in the mental landscape, enough to know she’s there. With a small sigh of relief, Jess waved her fingers at the mess and muttered a quiet spell. The glass fragments rose quickly into the air, and with a faint tinkle of sound and a glow of pale blue light, the glass was repaired. Jess then gestured at the spilled drink and muttered another spell, cleaning up the mess in an instant.

She sat at the counter for a few minutes, staring numbly at the book. Of course, she knew everything turned out OK in the end; Ellie didn’t die in that desert. How could she have? She was here, married to her, happy. But, Ellie had never told her any of this, and the shock at reading what had happened to her love was, well… shocking! With a glance towards the kitchen door, Jess couldn’t help wondering how much more pain Ellie had suffered that she knew nothing about.

After several more minutes of thought, Jess reached out a hand, and pulled the diary back towards herself.



20th August, 2004
I’M ALIVE!!!

Something has happened. I’m not totally sure what it all means, but I’ll try to put down here what I saw. It’s almost too fantastic to believe, but I must. It’s the truth, and it saved me.

When I zipped myself and Mogs into my sleeping bag, I expected to die. I was so tired, so hungry, so thirsty. I couldn’t walk anymore. I’d lost all hope and could feel myself drifting away into the darkness.

For a long time, that’s all there was; darkness. I don’t know how long I lay there, or even that I was laying anywhere, there was just… nothingness. Then I saw a light in the distance, moving closer and closer. Finally, it stopped just in front of me; a ball of light, glowing and pulsating. It just, hovered there, in front of me, as if waiting for me to speak.

I asked it if I was dead. The, thing… just hovered there. It didn’t speak, or move, or do anything; it just, hovered there. As if it was looking at me, expecting me to say something else. So, I asked it what it was. It answered.

Not with words, maybe it can’t speak like we do, I dunno. No, it used pictures. The darkness around us changed, and dimly, I could make out a landscape, but one like nothing I’d ever seen before. I could see trees, weird looking ones towering miles into the sky, and there was a city. It didn’t look like any city I’d ever seen before though. Massive buildings rising even higher than the trees, and lots of what looked like walkways, connecting them. The image changed and started to move. The image swooped through the buildings, down to ground level, where there were parks everywhere. Parks, fields, trees, flowers… All strange looking ones I’d never seen before, and more beautiful than anything I could have imagined..

But no people. I saw what could have been cars of a sort, and larger vehicles, but they were all abandoned. No sign of life of any kind, the city was dead. The image changed again, and I could see the entire world below, glowing with a faint blue light. As I watched, the image started to move off, faster and faster until all I could see was the bright light of the planets sun, shining in front of me. Then the sun, exploded! I saw it shrink suddenly and grow incredibly bright, and then there was a flash. I saw the sun explode, and I knew that world I’d just seen, was gone.

This incredible feeling of loss, and sadness came over me as the image faded; and anger, cold burning anger and hatred, directed at the killer of this world.

As the image faded, the glowing light returned, brighter than before. I don’t know how, but a word came into my mind, or rather, a name; Kheldia.

Another image slowly faded into view; another world, huge by any standards. It looked a little like Saturn does, with rings around its middle. The view zoomed into the planet, past its rings and into its atmosphere. Then I saw the creatures. They looked almost squid like, with long tentacles waving and glowing faintly with a blue light as they flew through the skies of their world, and I became aware of another name, Mefnanim.

As I watched, the view carried further down, lower and lower until there were no more creatures. The lower it travelled, the darker it became, until I began to see more of the creatures, darker, stronger looking, and suddenly I knew their name too, Hulmanim.

The image faded again, and once more the glowing light was in front of me. But as I watched, it changed. It grew brighter and brighter and then there was a flash, and it changed. It had become like the first creatures, the Mefnanim. Glowing far brighter than they did, it floated in front of me, its tentacles waving.
It floated there, looking at me and I asked it again what it was, confused. The creature changed again, the squid like image glowed brightly again and changed back to the ball, and more images began to form around me.

This time, it was an image of star! It was tiny, and shining incredibly brightly. Again the view zoomed in, closer and closer, until all I could see was light. We got closer and closer, until I could see the surface of the star, and moving around on it, huge hulking shapes. Massively armoured and slow, I could see their glowing forms move a few steps, then vanish in a flash of light, only to appear a little further on. A name went through my mind, Kurukt.

The images faded again, and once more the glowing light was there. Then it changed again, glowed bright like before, and turned into a copy of the Kurukt! It stood there, watching me, before again turning back to into the ball.

Then the images came back again… This time is wasn’t a world; it was a view of deep space. I could see 100’s of huge, brightly glowing shapes all massed together, like a massive armada. And before them, another mass of glowing shapes, but these were glowing with a darkness I’ve never seen before, and I could feel the evil from them, creeping over and through my body. The two forces began to move to one another, and tendrils of energy, both light and dark began to reach out to the opposing sides.

I was watching a battle, and I felt this was the final battle in a long line of them; of a war that had been raging throughout space and time, a war mind bogglingly ancient. As the battle unfolded before me, it became clear the light side were winning. I watched them move over the enemy like surf crashing to the shore, and I felt a sense of great satisfaction.

Then the images changed one last time. I could see a world, floating in space; it looked almost familiar! The image zoomed in, and then I recognized the continents, it was Earth! The ground rushed up at incredible speed, and the image skimmed across both land and sea, slowing as it approached a city. London! I could see Big Ben, the Millennium Dome, the Tower of London! Then, the image rushed forward to a street, and zoomed in, to a scene of carnage.

I could see a car, crushed, buried beneath a small mountain of steel pipes; my car. The scene shifted again, to the inside of the car, and I could see myself; crushed beneath the tonne of metal that had fallen from the nearby crane. Next to me lay Mogs’ cat box, crushed by one of the pipes, and I could just see a tuft of black fur, splashed with red, poking out from the door. The image moved again, focusing on me, on my face. My eyes were open, but it was clear that there weren’t seeing anything. A trickle of blood was slowly seeping from between my own lips, and when I looked down at my still body, a pipe, as big around as a dinner plate, had pierced my chest.

As I watched, the glowing ball appeared again, this time beside my body. It moved slowly, and floated across the narrow space, and into my still form. Then my entire body started to glow with a pale green light, and the pipe that had pierced my chest, seemed to melt, and vanish. The light grew brighter, and I saw a fierce blue light in my eyes, getting brighter by the second as the green glow intensified, and the horrible wound in my chest, faded away!

Then, pain! Incredible, burning pain! But not mine… The ball of light, it was in pain! I felt its confusion, and fear; something was very wrong! The light grew brighter and brighter, and the pain grew worse, then a tendril of light reached out from my body, towards poor Mogs. As it touched his paw, it grew brighter, and Mogs’ paw glowed with it, and then vanished!

The pain began to fade, quickly growing less and less, before finally it was gone. With the last of the pain, the light faded, and I could see that I was breathing, brought back from death by this strange glowing ball. Then, I saw Mogs, curled up on my lap, and breathing. He was alive too!
The images suddenly faded away, and the glowing ball took their place once again. I asked it one more question, “What are you?”, and it answered.

The ball of light grew brighter again and began to change once more. The light grew brighter and brighter, then faded, and I saw… Me. Me, holding Mogs in my arms, and a faint light glowing in both our eyes, and I understood at last.

This being, this… Kheldian… Had tried to save me, that day in my car, but something had gone wrong. When it had tried to join with me, something inside me had fought it, and in its weakened state after healing me, it hadn’t been able to fight back, so it used Mogs. It couldn’t separate from me completely though, so it rests inside both of us, split in two, but still joined somehow.

I’m not quite sure how, but because the joining had gone wrong, the Kheldian had been unable to reach me normally. Only at times of great stress could it take over, but it couldn’t talk to me. So it had brought me here, to this desert; and brought me to a state where all the non-essential thoughts in my mind were washed away, a state between life and death, where it could finally communicate.

The image changed again, and the view of me and Mogs faded, leaving only the glowing ball of light once more, and I asked it another question… Why?

The image faded again, and everything I had just seen, and far more, flickered through my mind. Images of 1000’s of lives, countless hosts, each as weird and wonderful as the last. Then the flickering images of those lives changed again, and I saw my own life unfold before me. My birth, growing up, school, puberty, coming out to my parents, my first kiss with Katie, the crash; everything I had ever experienced in my life up this point, and I knew why it had brought me here.

When it had saved me before, in the crash, and had tried to join. It didn’t ask. It had broken its races most ancient laws, and paid a terrible price. It had brought me to a state of near death because it was the only way it could ask me to choose what I wanted. I could choose life, and be a part of this creature for as long as I live, or I can choose an ending, to both of us.

The images before me changed again, and I saw two doors floating before me, the glowing ball between them. Both were open, and beyond one I could see the desert where I lay. Beyond the other, I could see only darkness. It was time to make my choice, so I did.

I woke up, still in my sleeping bag, with Mogs curled up with me. In the darkness, I could just see a faint glow in his eyes, fading quickly. I unzipped, and climbed out.

It was dark when I did, and the air was cold, but I didn’t notice it. The moon was high in the sky, and though it was night, I could see quite clearly. I felt more awake than I had ever done before, like the feeling after a cold shower. Mogs jumped up onto my shoulder, and suddenly, I was flying! I was hurtling through the air like a missile, and the ground flew by me in a blur. A little bit later, I landed near an oasis, at the foot of the mountains that had been so far away. There was a small pool of water there, and a tree bearing some fruit. I drunk as much as I could and raided the tree for its fruit, before taking to the air again, and returning to my backpack.

By the time the sun came up, I was feeling so much better. With food in my belly again, and the water refreshing me, I took stock of my situation. It no longer seemed so desperate. I knew now I could be out of here in just a short space of time, so I picked up my diary to put down what had happened, and checked my watch for the date.

16 days I lay there, in that sleeping bag. It had seemed such a short space of time when it was happening, but… 16 days?



Jess paused and allowed her eyes to lose focus for a moment as she went over what she’d just read, and absorbed it’s meaning before going on to the next entry.



21st August, 2004
Spent the day in that same spot, thinking about what happened, and going over my diary entry. It all seems like a dream now, the images I saw are starting to fade, and the details. It’s only when I re-read yesterdays entry that I remember it properly. Still, dreams are like that.

I’m not completely sure if it all really happened anyway. I was feeling pretty weak so it could have been my imagination. Still, SOMETHING happened, because I feel much better now. And flying, well, it doesn’t make me tired anymore, and I can go a LOT faster. In the morning, I’m going to head back towards those mountains, fill my water bottles and get some more fruit, then head east again. And I’m not bloody walking anymore!!


22nd August, 2004
Arrived back at that mountain about mid-morning and went to fill my bottles, but there was this old bald guy there, in an orange dress! Well, I guess they’re robes really. He tried to talk to me, but I didn’t have a clue what he was saying.

When I went to fill my bottle though, he started to jabber at me really fast, and wouldn’t let me. Then he calmed down, and using sign language, asked me to follow him. Well, he seemed harmless enough, and as it turned out, he was.

Seemed I kind of accidentally raided this monastery’s little orchard yesterday, and that pond was holy water or something; I was seen! They found some wrinkled up old guy who could speak French, and he explained that they weren’t angry, as they could see my need was urgent, but they really couldn’t let me raid it again. However, they DID offer me somewhere to stay for a bit, to rest up, with all the food and drink I need!

They seem very nice people, but then, they’re Buddhists I think, and those guys are meant to be nice. I guess I DO need to rest still, after that ordeal, so yeah… I’m gonna stay for a bit.



Jess looked up from the diary as Ellie entered the room. Pausing briefly at the door, Ellie smiled at Jess and walked over to her, putting her arms around her in a hug. “You alright love?”

Jess nodded at her wife, a smile spreading quickly on her face. “I’m fine hun, really. I just… Well, you DID warn me there were some things in here I wouldn’t like…”

Ellie nodded kindly, “I guess you read about my little walk in the desert? I’d have told you about that before, but… Well, I don’t think of it that much, and really… It happened a long time ago. I didn’t see the point in dredging those memories up and upsetting you.”

Jess put the diary down on the counter, and turned in Ellie’s arms, to embrace her properly. “I never knew you went through so much.”

Ellie makes a small snort, trying to make light of it all, “I guess, back then, my life was a bit of a train wreck… And coming to Paragon, well, it didn’t exactly help any did it? Though it did bring me one or two nice things…”

Ellie smiled as she spoke, and gently kissed her wife, her eyes closed as she enjoyed the kiss, with Jess held her tight, almost painfully tight. After several minutes, Ellie finally broke the kiss, “Wow…”

Jess chuckled as the kiss ended, “Wow indeed!”

Ellie glanced up at the windows, it was dark outside. “Have you ANY idea how long you’ve been reading that thing?”

Jess followed Ellie’s gaze, and looked with some surprise at the darkness. “What on earth? What time IS it?”

Ellie smiled, “Nearly 11. Josie went to bed hours ago. And I was wondering if you’d like to do the same?”

“Hmm... Stay up reading your diary… Or come to bed, with you… Not much of a choice, is it?”

Ellie smiled, and taking Jess’s hand, started to lead her from the kitchen, “Not really, no.”

Jess chuckled again as Ellie towed her along, forgetting about the diary; for now.

Broke through a wall this morning! 10,378 words and counting!

Nice.. is there any more to this pic we can see?

Onward to chapter three!

**WARNING: Tissue's may be required!**

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Chapter Three

Jess sat thoughtfully for a few minutes, considering what she'd actually ASK Sunstorm when she saw him next. After all, it had all happened so long ago, could it possibly matter anymore? Besides, since that Nictus attack a few years ago, it's not like he hung around in his old spot in Atlas Park anymore, she'd probably have to go up to the mothership to talk to him. Jess shuddered, she hated that place; so cold and sterile, no heart in the place at all. Still, if she wanted answers, he really was the best person to speak to.

With an inner sigh, she took another sip of her orange juice, and returned to the diary.


10th July, 2004
Been a few days since I've felt like writing. Not much has happened since I left Istanbul. The train has stopped in several cities, but is continuing its slow crawl eastwards. We've crossed several borders, and had to stop for passports and stuff, but the customs people don't seem really bothered.

I think we're going through Azerbaijan at the moment. Such a desolate place, at least from what I can see on the train.


11th July, 2004.
End of the line. The train stopped at a seaport this morning. Not a lot here but a small village, and a ferry to cross an inland sea into Turkmenistan, I think it's the Caspian Sea? God, what am I doing going so far from England? It's almost like something is driving me eastward, and I don't know why.

The battery on my mobile gave out days ago, so I can't even call mum to let her know I'm OK. Not that there'd be a signal way out here anyway. I tried to use a payphone in the village, but the operator didn't speak a word of English or French, and direct dialling didn't work, so I guess that's out.

I've run out of money as well. Got plenty in the bank, but the chances of finding an ATM out here are pretty remote. I have my visa card, but there are no banks either. I'm hungry, I'm cold, I'm tired, and worst of all… I smell. It's been days since I've been able to have a shower, and I'm really starting to feel just... Ugh!

No idea how I'm going to get across this sea, with no money for the ferry. I'd try flying over, but I'm so tired I can't even manage to hover more than an inch off the ground, let along fly god knows how many miles across.


12th July, 2004
I'm in a house, in a spare room!

This elderly couple saw me sitting by the ferry, sniffling. I guess I looked so pathetic sitting there. They don't speak any English, or French, but they made do with sign language. To tell the truth, by then I was feeling so low, I didn't care what they wanted; I just went with them.

They're a very kind couple. Very poor, but they gave me some food, somewhere to wash, and somewhere to sleep. I was so grateful, I burst into tears and the old lady, I think her name is Astrid, just put her arms around me and let me cry. After a bit, they led me to this room, with an old mattress on the floor, and left me alone.

It really gets to you, y'know? When people have so little themselves, yet put themselves out to help others. I wish more people were like that.



13th July, 2004
Gosh, I've slept for 36 hours! Astrid made me some breakfast this morning, some kind of porridge. I didn't care, I was so hungry that it tasted delicious! She's been jabbering away to me in what seems like Russian, not sure. I heard mention of some names, one seemed quite prevalent, Dmitri. I'm not sure, but I think he might be coming to talk to me?

Anyway, I'm feeling a bit better now, not so depressed. I guess it was the lack of decent sleep, and hunger, which was getting me down so much. Mogs seems to like it here as well.


14th July, 2004
That Dmitri guy came this morning. He's an old Russian soldier that settled here years ago, and speaks some English! Guess that's why Astrid and her husband asked him to come over. I spent most of the morning talking to him, and telling him some of what had happened. I didn't mention about my powers or stuff like that, just that I'd had problems at home, and had to leave.

He's a really nice guy, so friendly and caring. He says he knows someone with a car, and they're going to take me to the nearest town, about 30 kilometers from here. From there, well… I'm on my own again, but at least it'll be somewhere where I can sort out some money and stuff.


15th July, 2004
I'm in a town called Buzovna. Dmitri and his friend dropped me off this afternoon and made sure I was safe in a small hotel, after first taking me to a bank to get some money. I tried to pay them for all their help, but they flatly refused it. I was quite tearful when they left, almost as much as when I said goodbye to Astrid and her husband. People here have been so kind to me.

I had a hot shower for the first time in what seems forever, I was only able to wash at Astrid's house. Then I went to bed for a couple of hours, with Mogs curled up with me. When I finally got up, about 6pm I think, I felt so much better, and able to think about what the hell I'm doing, and where I'm going.

So far, I've just been running, trying to get as far away from dad as I can, but I can't keep doing that. From what I remember, this isn't exactly the safest part of the world for a girl on her own, or for anyone else for that matter. Something seems to be… almost calling me... eastward. I don't know what, or why, I just know I need to keep going east.

I picked up a map today, to see what lies in that direction. Geography never was my strong point. If I keep going east, beyond Turkmenistan, there's Uzbekistan, Tajikistan, and China. God, I never realised just how big China is.. It's massive! Going to take me a long time to get through there.


20th July, 2004
I made my way into Turkmenistan this morning, taking a ferry across the Caspian Sea. Took hours as the boat wasn't exactly modern… Found myself in a town called Turkmenbashi, and managed to get directions to the train station, and sorted out a ticket east. The next train is due in 2 days, so I tracked down a hotel. I want to avoid the southern border as much as I can, don't want to end up in Iran, or Afghanistan!


22nd July, 2004
Boarded the train today. It’s meant to take me all the way to the border with Uzbekistan, where I should be able to get another train. I think the man said it’d take about 3 days to get there, trains here aren’t exactly quick.

I found a seat OK, somewhere where I can bed down to sleep as well. Should be safe enough, just very very dull.


24th July, 2004
Been on the train for 2 days now, I can't believe how slow this thing is… We're barely doing 20 miles an hour! AND it's a steam train too! There have been a few stops, were we can get off for 20 minutes at a time for food and stuff, not that that's very palatable. I've only got dried stuff with me as it's easier to carry. What takes up all the space is the bottles of water I have to carry!

Anyway, no one else on this train speaks a word of English or French. Been amusing myself doing some sketches of the scenery, and some of the people on the train, which seems to go down well with everyone. At least it’s something to do to ease the boredom.


26th July, 2004
Finally got off that train! Arrived at the border quite late but I was able to find a grotty hotel. At least it’s somewhere to crash for the night. Didn’t like the look of the guy at the front desk though, he looked pretty nasty, and made some leering faces… I made sure the door was locked with a chair in front of it.

Mogs seems very nervous about something.


28th July, 2004
It's happened again! Another blackout I mean. A remember feeling sleepy in that hotel room, so I settled down to sleep, and then suddenly, I'm waking up in my tent, in the middle of nowhere.

I have no idea where I am, outside the tent is just miles and miles of wasteland, almost a desert. There aren't even many plants around.

WHERE AM I!?


29th July, 2004
Spent most of yesterday, and all today, walking. Nothing changes here. All I can see are miles and miles of desert. No trees, no grass, no animals, nothing. Just the sound of the wind sighing across the dunes. I can just make out some mountains in front, but it's so flat here, they must be over a hundred miles away.

Everywhere I look, there's just… nothing!

During the day, it's so hot here, and freezing at night. Mogs is staying close to me, walking sometimes, but most of the time sitting either on my shoulder, or in my backpack. Guess it's too much walking for the little guy.

If it wasn't for my watch, I'd have no idea what the date was. I'm still in the middle of nowhere, the mountains seem just as far away and I've not even seen a bird or lizard. This place could be another planet for all I know.

Why is this happening to me? What have I done to deserve this?


1st August, 2004
Ran out of water yesterday and the last of the food went today. I'm so thirsty. Mogs just stays huddled in my backpack. All I can do here is walk and think. Everything that's happened to me lately just runs through my mind over and over. The accident, the hospital, going home, Katie… Oh Katie, what I wouldn't give to be with you now…

I’m so scared. I don’t think I’m going to get out of this place…


2nd August, 2004
Another day of walking. I'm so hungry, so thirsty, and oh so very tired. All I do is walk, stop, walk, fall down, get up and walk again. Nothing changes here, even the wind has stopped. It's so quiet, as quiet as the grave.

I'm starting to hear voices. Mum, Katie, even dad. Oh, how I'd love to hear dad yelling at me again. I feel so numb and alone, Mogs just sleeps in the backpack. Poor little guy, he’s got no food either… Maybe I should… No, I can’t do that!

More images of recent events have been going through my mind… The ministry, the tests, dad's reaction, this journey. If feels like as I go through each part in my head, it washes away the pain behind it, leaving me empty of feeling.

The mountains look so beautiful in the distance, like a row of purple white flowers, floating in the sky. They're so far away, but feel almost close enough to touch.


4th August, 2004
This is it, I can't walk anymore. My feet are agony from all the blisters, and I'm so tired and thirsty. I couldn't even get the strength to put up my tent, so I just crawled into my sleeping bag and zipped it shut, with Mogs inside with me.

I'm going to die here, but I guess that's OK. I'm not frightened anymore. If anyone finds this diary, tell my mum and dad that I love them, and that I'm so very sorry…


A crash of breaking glass startled Jess from her reading. Looking up from the pages and blinking tears from her eyes, she looked at her hand, and the remains of her glass of orange juice. Most of the glass was shattered and the remains of the drink were dripping from the last few shards remaining in her hand.

Slowly, she reached out her shaking hand, and put the remains of the glass onto the counter.

Exactly my point in my earlier posts!

Write at your own pace people, and have FUN doing it!

Now... Last time I was in a PvP zone, I was actually badging... It was Sirens so I knew I'd end up as bounty, but so what?

Inevitably, it happened, and someone went for me. Now, I DID mention to him I was badging, and asked if he could wait just 1 minute whist I grabbed the badge first? He was fine with that! Followed me, I got the badge, THEN we went tooth and nail! It was a fun fight, but as I'm not a PvPer, the inevitable happened and he kicked my rear.

There was no trash talk, and no bad feelings at all! He let me get the badge I was after, and he ended up with his bounty, both happy!

Of course, I got clobbered again getting the other two badges, but I wasn't moaning.

In fact, there was only one instance I can remember where I *DID* have a row with someone over PvP, in Warburg. I'd spent ages getting my scientists, and on the last one, some swine ganked me and took my hard work away. When I asked him if that was REALLY necessary (It was a hero, so my getting a nuke didn't cause him any problems), his answer was, "Cause I felt like it". He didn't want the nuke himself, he just wanted to wreck someone elses fun.

That's the kind of player that really <bleeps!> me off!

Thanks everyone, for the kind words! Just the sort of thing to encourage a person to write chapter two...

Speaking of which!

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Chapter Two

In the lounge, Ellie was sat on their large 5 seat leather sofa, her feet curled under her, as she idly flipped through a fashion magazine. Josie was sat cross legged on the floor, typing away at the laptop on the coffee table.

Smiling, Jess walked up behind the sofa and leant down to kiss Ellie on the cheek.

Ellie looked up from her magazine, a smile on her face. "Hmm… What was that in aid of?"

"Have I told you lately, how much I love you?"

"Oh… Not for ages… Must be at least a couple of hours? You're slacking love."

"Well, I love you very much, Ellie"

Ellie looked at her a little oddly, "Hmm… And I love you too Jess. So what brought all this on, hmm?"

Jess smiled at Ellie, then shrugged, "Oh it's silly really, just something in that diary of yours."

"Ah yeah, I see now. Well, try not to worry too much about anything you read in that thing. Don't forget it was written a very long time ago, and I'm not that person anymore."

"I know, but well… Reading what happened to you… I just wanted to let you know I love you, and that you're not alone, OK?"

Ellie smiled, and leaned over to kiss Jess back, "You're a dear, you know that? Always thinking of others, even when there's no need. It's one of things I've always loved about you."

"One of the things? What are the others then?" Jess asked.

"Hmm… Oh, you know... This and that…" Ellie grinned cheekily.

Jess blinked a few times, before realization dawned, "Oh you! A one track mind, as ever!"

Ellie laughed, her emerald green eyes twinkling in the bright autumn sunlight streaming through the French doors, "You're the one with the one track mind honey, I didn't say a thing!"

Josie looked up from her laptop, a rather fake look of indignation on her face. "Hey! Do I have to get the squirty bottle? Little girl over here you know!

Ellie and Jess looked over to Josie, and spoke in unison, "Sorry Josie…"

Josie looked at her parents, and let out a rather exasperated snort. "I hate it when you do that!"

Ellie chuckled at her daughter, "Well, remember that next time you’re finishing young Michael’s sentences!"

Josie blushed, "Mum!"

Ellie smirked and glanced up at her wife, "I dunno love, kids today."

Jess joined her wife’s chuckling, then stood upright, "I’ll leave you two to fight this one out, I think..."

Josie glared at her mum, infuriated at the gentle teasing, and turned back to her laptop, attempting to ignore them both. Jess then turned to leave the room, quietly singing a song she remembered from her own childhood, "And they called it, puppy looooove...."

As she left the room, Jess stopped her quiet singing, and went back to the kitchen. After getting herself a glass of orange juice from the fridge, she once again picked up Ellie’s diary and, sitting on a stool, returned to her reading.


2nd May, 2004
Had to get out the hostel this morning, stupid no pets rule! Poor Mogs can’t stay at home!

Spent the day wandering around London, trying to find somewhere else to stay. There’s nowhere that will take pets, not on short notice. Eventually went back home, before dad got back from work. Mum was out. Took a shower then went down to the shed, looking for my old tent. Finally found it, and my old rucksack, so packed it all properly this time, dumping all my nice clothes for more practical stuff. Then raided the larder for some food, packed that, and wrote a note for mum.

Had another cry while writing that, then with Mogs safe on my shoulder, I dumped my keys on the kitchen table, with the note, and left.

No idea what I’m gonna do, or where I’m gonna go, but I can’t stay here.


5th May, 2004.

I’m in Sussex. Pitched my tent in a field near an old farm last night. The farmer found me this morning, seemed a nice enough chap, but told me I needed to move my tent. Guess I can’t blame him, it IS his property after all. Still... He told me there’s a campsite not far away that has showers and things!


6th May, 2004
Found that campsite the farmer told me about. It’s really cheap as the season hasn’t really started yet, so I’m going to stay here a couple of days. Finally got a shower and I’m CLEAN again!

Tried to call mum on my mobile, but dad answered so I hung up.

I’m glad Mogs is with me. Don’t think I could sleep at night if he wasn’t there. He’s all I’ve got.


10th May, 2004
Left the campsite today, decided there’s no point in staying there in this crappy weather, so I’m going to hitch down to Dover, and get a ferry to France. Maybe getting away from here will do me some good.


11th May, 2004
Stupid customs idiots! They won’t let me take Mogs as he’s not chipped! I’ve pitched my tent up on the cliffs while I figure out what to do.


12th May, 2004
I’m gonna try to do it. I’m gonna try to fly over the channel. I’ve done a few short flights now, been practicing today. I’m not that fast, but I can keep it up long enough to get over the channel, I think.

Gonna pick up some stuff from some shops today, and try as soon as the sun goes down. Don’t want people seeing me!


13th May, 2004
Made it, just! Got a few miles out and started to feel really tired. Thought I was gonna fall but a ferry heading towards Calais went past. I managed to land on one of its decks though, and got to the passenger area without being seen. Phew!

Had to get off again before we got to the port though, wasn’t easy as there were a few people on the deck. Still, managed it and landed on the beach at Calais.

Hostels in Calais don’t mind Mogs! Yay! Managed to get a shower and a hot meal, and chatted to some other backpackers who are planning to head down to Italy. Andy, and his girlfriend, Julie. They asked me if I had any plans, and as I didn’t, they invited me along with them! They’re both a bit older than me, in their mid-twenties I think, so they probably thought I’d be safer with them than on my own.


15th May, 2004
We’re about 50 kilometers from Paris. Andy and Julie are a nice enough couple, but I think they’re potheads. Definitely got a whiff of some grass from their tent last night. Oh well, to each their own I guess.

They’re really noisy in the sack too... Kept me awake for hours last night with their racket. Made me really miss Katie.


18th May, 2004
Andy propositioned me last night! He was stoned out of his head, so I didn’t get too freaked. Just told him no thanks. Julie thought it was funny and said if we did it, could she watch! Mind you, she was stoned too.

Haven’t told them I’m [censored]. Should I?


19th May, 2004
Andy said sorry this morning. He’d come down from his high and was really embarrassed. I told him it’s OK, but that he really wasn’t my type anyway. Glad that’s over!

We made it into Paris today, and are going to stay here for a week or two in another hostel. No rush after all, and all this being in France is really helping with my French!


22nd May, 2004
Saw a superhero today! Had been shopping in a market, and there was this screech of tires as a car went out of control and headed right for a stall. This guy wearing the French Tricolor just appeared out of nowhere, raised his hand, and the car just floated into the air!! Wow!

After he’d made sure the people in the car were OK, he just vanished again, in a flash of light! Awesome!

Rushed back to tell Andy and Julie about it, but they’d gone! All there stuff was gone from their room and the guy at the desk said they’d checked out earlier. Guess Andy was more embarrassed than I thought.

Oh well, just me and Mogs again. Where do I go now? Carry on to Italy?


26th May, 2004
Still in Paris. Checked my bank balance today on an ATM, got just over 4 grand from my savings and the insurance money. Went to a travel company today to see where I could go, don’t really want to walk or hitch it, so I’m thinking either train or bus. Got to watch how much I spend though, as I dunno how long it’s got to last me.



30th May, 2004
I’m on a train to Prague! Always wanted to visit there as I’ve heard so much about it, and the ticket was only 90 Euros for a last minute booking!

Phoned home last night. Mum answered, but I couldn’t think what to say. Ended up just blurting out that I was fine, and hung up.


5th June, 2004
Been in Prague a few days now. It’s OK here. Quite a pretty city, where the tourists are anyway. Not quite so nice if you’re a backpacker though.

Have visited a few sights, but don’t really feel comfortable here, not sure why. Haven’t slept properly for a couple of days, and Mogs keeps fretting around me.


7th June, 2004.
Got arrested today! I was standing on a street corner, trying to figure out my map, when a cop pulled over! I didn’t have a clue what he was saying, and he didn’t speak English OR French. Stupid sod thought I was a [censored] and busted me!

Finally got it sorted out, AFTER they’d carted me off to the police station. Bloody idiots. How was I to know I was in the red light district? You’d think a girl in a leather jacket, jeans, and a bloody great big backpack would look just a BIT different to some tart on the game!

Oh well, they were very sorry when they realized their mistake, and gave me a lift to the bus station which I’d been trying to find.


15th June, 2004
I’m somewhere in Turkey, but couldn’t tell you where. Stupid bus broke down in the middle of nowhere, and the breakdown truck just dumped us in this tiny little village before sodding off. The bus driver is trying to call his depot, but can’t get through yet.

This village is really squalid. Smells like their drains stopped up months ago. Living on dehydrated food and bottled water as I don’t want to risk the local food or water. Mogs doesn’t like it here either.


16th June, 2004
Civilization at last! A new bus finally turned up and got us out of that cesspit of a village, and I’m now sitting in a nice hostel in Istanbul!

There are a few English people here, so I’ve got someone to chat too as well. Mogs has finally settled down so I guess he likes it here.



Jess paused in her reading for a moment, pondering some of the things she’d read. To think that Ellie’s own father had made her feel she needed to get that far away… Well… She could hardly believe it of the man. He’d seemed nothing like that in the last few years she’d known him, until he’d passed away last year. In fact, he’d seemed to grow more loving as he’d neared the end. Obviously, his change of heart had been quite severe.

Putting the book down for a moment, she got up and went to the fridge, refilling her glass with some more orange juice. Then she returned to the stool, and sat back down, taking a sip before returning to the diary.



20th June, 2004
Spent the last few days looking around the city, and doing a little bit of shopping. There’s so much to see here, at least in the tourist section. Shame the less touristy parts aren’t so nice… There’s quite a lot of poverty here, hidden behind the scenes.

A pair of nasty looking pieces of work started following me as I was looking around, so I went back to the hostel.


21st June, 2004.
Those two nasty looking guys were hanging around the front door of the hostel this morning, so I stayed up in my room. Mogs seems pretty freaked out too.


22nd June, 2004
Those guys weren’t around this morning, so I went back out. Decided to stay away from the seedier parts of the city and just stick with the tourist parts. Not sure how much longer I’ll stay around here… Might head east again in a few days.


28th June, 2004
Oh god, what’s happening to me!?

Those two guys turned up again a few days ago, whilst I was taking a shortcut back to the hostel, through an alley. Stupid, stupid, STUPID! They tried to grab me!! Mogs went berserk and went for them, all teeth and claws! I’ve never seen him act so... vicious! Whilst one of the men was trying to get him off, the other one tried to grab me!

I’m not completely sure what happened then… I know I tried to fight back, but I’ve never learned how!

Anyway… There was this flash of light and then… And then… I don’t know! Mogs was back on my shoulder, and seemed calm, bumping his nose against my cheek. I felt I needed to get back to my room, so I managed to work out where I was, and got a cab back. I’m still shaking… not just from the attack, but from something else too.

That happened 5 days ago! Where have I been? Why can’t I remember!?


30th June, 2004
I’ve left Istanbul. Packed my bag yesterday, and just got the hell out of there. I grabbed the first train I could that was heading east, I don’t care where. I’ve kept myself to myself while I try to remember what happened, but there’s nothing. Not even a glimmer of a memory.

Mogs is refusing to leave my side for more than a few minutes. He seems calm enough, but he keeps giving me these long looks. It’s almost like he knows what happened, but how can he really? I mean… he’s just a cat, isn’t he?

It’s got to be this… thing… that’s inside of me… It must have done something. But what, what did it do?


Jess stopped her reading again, rather shocked at what seemed to have happened. She’d known there’s been problems with Ellie’s joining with Mikoshi, her Kheldian symbiont, but this? She searched her memories, both hers and Shokushu’s, but came up blank. As far as she or Shokushu knew, no joining had ever been so… unstable… as Ellie’s seemed to have been. By now, they should have been in full partnership…

Reaching for her bag, she pulled out a compact PDA and made a note to contact Sunstorm, back in Paragon. Perhaps he can offer some insight as to what had happened to Ellie back then?

Got up to 5799 words tonight, not really worried about making it TBH.. I'm having fun, and that's what counts!

Chapter two is done.. might post it up later...

As Rockjaw himself has said. It's not a Player Hug Player zone. If you don't like it, get your XP elsewhere. In I8, due very soon now, we have safeguard missions. Do them instead!

And then cry when the time comes to type it up, and you can't read your own handwriting!

Pfft... 2000 words in a day? I've done about 4 hours work on mine all together.. and about 5500 words... I'm not worried... Fastest route to writers block, is to worry about your wordcount! Just write, create, express yourself, and worry not about how many words you write!

Whether you succeed or fail is irrelevant, what matters is enjoying the journey, and NOT writing something Mills & Boon would print!