Flarstux

Look! Over There! Robot Ostriches!

Left Out the Red One.

Less Obviously, the Rain Oscillates.

Land of the Referential Ontologists.

Let's Only Take Rabbits, Okay?

Lots of Truckers Raise Orchids.

Linseed Oil Tastes Really Octagonal.

Oh, I wish I was an AE Baby!
That is what I'd truly like to be ee ee!
'Cause if I was an AE Baby
Most of the game would be like new to me!

Spoken: Is that near Atlas Park?

And you will STILL have ham hocks for hands.

Ah HAH!

I've discovered your Secret Identity, HOY TRICKMAN! As shown here with the REAL Sassy Molassey and David Hasselhoff in a goat suit.

I'd rather just start them blue and not have to worry about the going rogue business. Funny that I'd rather play blue - after having played blue to virtual death for several years - than play red for 20 levels, and that I'm totally toasted on yellow already.

If I ever meet Peter Jackson I'll shake his hand AND slap the <bleep!> out of him. Not necessarily in that order.

Ahem. Back to the zombies.

One of these worked quite well for my grandma.

Snaptooth says you're wrong about that.

CONFESSIONS OF AN AE EXPLOITER

(Preface: Back during the first round of AE exploits and the subsequent declaration of retroactive punishments, I quit the game. At that time I was not an AE Exploiter. I just felt Positron was being a jerk about the whole thing. Still feel that way.)

I. Innocence Lost

It all started one day a week or two ago. I'd rolled a new electric/storm 'troller over on Virtue and had been dutifully playing through the Magic origin lowbie content. When he was level 6 (I'd already picked up the Safeguard jet pack thingee) I decided I might as well do the Hollows arcs, as I usually avoid them and it had been a while. So off to the Hollows I went, and was in the process of defeating 10 Outcasts when I got a tell: "Hi want to level really fast?"

I almost typed my standard reply, "Heya - not right now, but thanks for asking!" but on that day I was feeling a little frisky so I decided, what the heck, let's see what it's all about. So I said, "Heh, okay - what do I have to do?"

"Come to AE in Galaxy."

AE? But I thought that had all been taken care of long ago...? The team invitation window popped up, I clicked to join, and was on a full team. I hurried on over to Galaxy City and made my way to the AE building. The team entered a mission. It had a Christmas theme, with little Santa Claus guys and helpers and an assortment of imps running around. We started fighting, and DING! And shortly after that, DING!

And I was all like,

Someone said to just attack the imps and leave the rest alone. So we just attacked the imps, and DING! Fight, fight, fight, DING! After maybe ten minutes, the team leader ended the mission so everyone could go level. At this point, I sent the leader a tell: "Thanks for the team, and wow, you weren't kidding about the levels!" and left. My 'troller was now level 17.

I went to the trainer and leveled up. I've continued to play that character through regular content. He's now level 23.

II. The Fall

Then one morning altitis struck again. I had come up with a name and a costume - and lo and behold, the name was available! But what AT to play? And where to start her? I didn't want to do another 'troller, or another defender (having just played a rad/sonic to 22 via regular content prior to rolling the 'troller mentioned above), nor another corruptor. After poking around the AT forums, I decided to go with a mind/electric Dominator, and I wanted her to be a Hero. So I started her in Praetoria, but within seconds of entering the tutorial I decided, blah, I don't want to do all this again. Sigh. Praetoria was great - and I say 'was' because there just isn't enough there to make the repetition seem less... repetitive. If you see what I mean. I pretty much hate CoV, but I figured what the heck. So I deleted the dom and started over in the Rogue Isles.

I was doing Kalinda's missions, doing my standard 'kill everything between the contact and mission door and back' routine and had just dinged level three when I got a tell: "AE team want to join?"

And I thought about what was ahead. And how long it would take playing through content I really don't like to get this character over to blueside...

...and that's when I officially became a dirty rotten cheating AE exploiter, because this time I knew exactly what it was and I said "Okay!" anyway.

There were no Santa Claus guys in this mission, and the imps were called monkeys, but the effects were the same: DING! Fight, fight, fight, DING! Fight, fight, fight, DING! At level 20, I thanked the team and dropped out. I started doing tip missions, and soon had my five for the day. Next day, five more, and the morality mission. Ah, Submariner Janus, nice to meet you. Can I bum a ride? Thanks. Hello, Paragon City! I played that character through regular content up to level 23, then parked her beside a black helicopter over in the Rogue Isles so she can get the Pilot badge, which is not available to Heroes.

III. MOAR MOAR MOAR

Well. Altitis never sleeps, and I still had open slots on Virtue. So I rolled up a tanker. Natural origin. Got Isolator. Over the course of a couple of days I played through the regular lowbie Natural origin missions. Got the Safeguard jet pack thingee. Level 6. Level 7. Level 8. Every now and again I'd go back to Atlas Park and look at the Broadcast chat. Lots of people looking for AE teams. Lots of people already on AE teams looking for more. I'd consider replying, but then go back to the missions. Level 9. Level 10. Level 11. Then, in Atlas Park, a Broadcast: "AE team lfm." I sent a tell: "I'll join!"

This time I stayed until level 22. SOs, baby. I've played him through regular content on up to 23, and there he sits awaiting inherent stamina.

IV. Reflection and Oopsie

Did I mention I have altitis? I have 11 level 50s (Blaster, Defender, Tanker, Tanker, Controller, Tanker, Warshade, Corruptor, Scrapper, Tanker, Widow), all from playing regular content. I have a level 42 Corruptor who started in Praetoria - and I really enjoyed that first run of the content. It was GREAT. I have a level 40 redside Brute. I have a vast array of characters ranging throughout the 30s. Mass quantities of characters in the 20s. A lot of them I don't play anymore, as they were made as part of a duo, and my duo partner is long gone. I mostly stick to Infinity, where I have three full columns of characters that are spread through four or so different SGs. I recently started playing on Virtue, as I had a lot of expendable level 1 'concept' characters and duplicates there, stuff I didn't mind deleting to make room for new alts. My level 42 Corruptor Praetorian started there, btw, and moved to Infinity during the last free exchange thing.

Anyway. Another fine morning dawned and another attack of altitis attacked, and I decided to give Stalkers another shot. Never been too crazy about the AT, never got one out of the teens, but I figured what the heck. Once again, I wanted this character to go blueside ASAP, as I really don't care for CoV and only play it because I have some friends who do. Having experienced the joys of 'fast forwarding' to SOs, I made this one with the intent that if the opportunity presented itself I most certainly would join an AE team and stay with it until level 22.

Well. I started playing. Went with Burke. Did every mission he offered. Doctor Creed was not an option for this character: I'm not an RPer but most of my characters do have some, well, character... and this one didn't go for kidnapping homeless people (she would go for clobbering Doctor Creed, if such an option was available. Alas!). So I took her to Port Oakes and started doing newspaper missions. Did the first Mayhem Mission. Ran through Billie Heck's missions. Decided against doing the Radio's missions. So, back to more newspaper missions. Second Mayhem Mission. By this time my Stalker was level 12. I hadn't seen any AE activity in Mercy or Port Oakes beyond a few folks looking for teams. Then I went to Cap to buy DOs. And there it was: "AE team lfm."

And again I said, "I'll join." Oh, hell yes, I'll join.

Now, I'm sure a lot of you have preconceived conceptions of what a team of filthy cheating AE exploiters must be like. And you may even be right about some of them. As for the ones I've been part of - this particular one being my fourth - they have not been significantly different from any other team of players doing any other content. There's friendly chat. There's cooperation. Team members looking out for each other with buffs and heals and handing over inspirations. There was one team, my second, I think, that had one guy who was something of a dork. Otherwise, nice, normal, friendly folks. For rotten, filthy, no-good, cheating exploiters, that is.

These monkeys were brutal. There was even a team wipe at one point. We persevered. Always, it seemed, there was one more group just ahead. Some guy dinged 50. Gratz! I was trying to keep track of my own dings - was planning to stop at 22 - but I lost count. There were a couple of Brutes on the team. I kept finding myself fighting alongside one in particular. Together we clobbered one monkey, after a multitude of whiff attacks on both our parts. The Brute said, "I knew we'd get him! We had him outnumbered two to one!" or something to that effect. I saw that I had hit level 20. There wasn't much uncleared map left. I decided to stay until the map was cleared.

And... (here's the oopsie part) my new Stalker was level 26 when that last group of monkeys fell. And I must admit, I did feel a little dirty at that point. Going up to 22 was one thing, but 26? That was pushing it. I actually considered deleting that character and starting over, but then I thought about what it would take to get back to that point via regular content - and the new was already wearing off fighting monkeys (I've mentioned in previous posts how much I hate doing the same thing over and over) - and decided I could live with feeling a little dirty. A couple of days later, I went back and did the tip and alignment missions and brought my new fully SO'd stalker on over to happy blue land.

This all happened over the course of the past couple of weeks, during which I was also playing my 'regular' characters on their regularly scheduled outings. I like my new AE babies and would prefer to keep them just as they are. I don't have any intentions of rolling any more (and not just because I don't have any more 'expendable' slots on Virtue).

To sum up:

controller: regular content to level 6, AE to 17, regular content to 23
dominator: regular content to level 3, AE to 20, regular content to 23
tanker: regular content to level 11, AE to 22, regular content to 23
stalker: regular content to level 12, AE to 26, regular content to 27

So, there you go. Make of all that what you will.

Well, if they want to be nice and healthy, yes!

Beer.

And then there was the time somebody (and no one ever fessed up, either) was handing out TWO, count 'em, TWO free reindeer toys with the Blissful Meal Special Deal Santa's Workshop-themed boxes. You should have seen the manager wrestling with those twins who really wanted to keep their extra free reindeer toys (one got a super rare Rudolph!). He did eventually manage (which is why, I suppose, he's the manager) to get one of the extra toys back (the super rare Rudolph!), but only because the heftiest of the twins shoved it in his (the manager's) mouth and he (the manager) swallowed it. Rumor has it that he (the manager, being something of a tightwad) eventually put the super rare Rudolph toy back into circulation, as it were. I bet the kid who finally got it was thrilled!

That's a very romantic take on it. But you know eventually someone will come along and figure it all out.



Could this be Love?

From listening to Tammy Wynette records.

Göering's on the phone from Freiburg...

How did you reach this shocking conclusion?

BTW - you keep using Real Life CRIMES for examples. I don't think someone gaining a lotta levels hella fast in an MMO is remotely comparable to actual property damage, grand theft auto, or unlawful entry.

Do you?

Or...

The normal Blissful Meal at O'Donalds is an O'Burger, small fries, and a small soft drink. One fateful day, a bunch of new employees are working and give out a whole bunch of Blissful Meals with O'Burgers with cheese, large fries, and large soft drinks. As the manager, do you:

1. Go around the restaurant taking food away from the customers and even going so far as to shove your finger down the throats of those who have already eaten most of it so they puke up their ill-gotten gains (oh, they knew, they KNEW they were getting too much! Cheating bastiges!), or...

2. Suck it up and take steps to ensure it doesn't happen again.

Remember if you plan to stay
Those who give can take away
Don't bite the hand that feeds you.

It's something like THIS.

It's not cats, it's m--

Well played, sir! Well played, indeed.

If people who take advantage of exploits should be punished, as you stated in the thread over in the Suggestions section, then people who explain how exploits work and thereby enable even more exploiters to exploit the exploit should be also punished!

Oh, ho! Hoist on your own petard!

Edited so as not to promulgate the promulgation!