airhead

Quest for Magic, by Bill Willingham / @Dr. Aeon2, arc 337434

The maps, level range, custom and existing groups, were all excellent. Customs were especially creative. Helping a civilian become super is perhaps an Epic arc, if I'm, say, like Back Alley Brawler (a mentor to young'uns). So I went ahead and gave it a shot. I liked the contact's description. The mission introductions are very well written, and have good use of color.

Statesman's dialogue suggests he's going to help me straight away, but mission mechanics don't permit that. Perhaps his words could be tweaked a little there. He also runs off to handle the other wing. Perhaps mention his objective - I cannot tell if he is helping me, or his presence is even unrelated. All the key objectives remain with me.

In mission two, the introduction has me accepting a quest without knowing my enemy's name. If I'm to trust Irena, she should tell me this. The casket is rather obvious, but I can't touch it until I beat two villains. Perhaps use an object that blends in more (until it's glowing). It'd be nice if mission mechanics would simply let us redefine the "You Can't Complete This Objective Yet" text, perhaps someday soon.

The mechanics of the last mission are very good. I'm not sure if I was just lucky, but Statesman's arrival at the end of the battle made for a very smooth mission storyline.

The mission does throw the idiot ball at the player by assuming we agree that Irena is worthy. Her motives were true, but something else went wrong, something we might have been able to predict; also, Irena has an immediate desire to do good, but where is her track record, or evidence of a life-defining motivator? As some others here, I also guessed things might not go to plan, but I wonder if I might have still proceeded if sufficient precautions had been taken. To help keep me (the player) from feeling stupid, perhaps some greater power (Statesman and the Midnight Squad, for instance) could be aligned with my purpose, so I might know there was no way to predict what happens. Of course, it might be a bit hard to fool all of those guys, with all their powers of augury, and also convince them that Irena is a suitable candidate for all this power. Now, if Irena was Mother Theresa, I might find it easier to accept. Assuming that didn't also mean she was undead... Maybe that just creates a different can of worms. That's not why this paragraph is pink.

I found a dozen typos (including the missing clue name, but not including "The" Statesman) and reported them to the author. Thanks to Bubbawheat's advice, the Mission: Awesome ones are fixed now by Dr. Aeon. Very very fast!

Regards, airhead

Thanks Mirror Man for this thread! I had not seen the Guest Author arcs, as I was catching up on some literature reviews. I had to try the hero-side Rooster Teeth arc, since I used their characters in one of my arcs. I didn't think I knew Bill, as I don't follow DC comics, but I know his early TSR stuff. Now I have a name to go with that. Gamma World, no less! Sounds good. I'll skip the meme one, because of the theme, not due to the author.

First up, Mission: Awesome. The Description is very plain - I might have overestimated the benefits of having a Rooster Teeth writer team. It's a level 1-to-40 arc, with an extreme AV (enemy) and an extreme EB (ally). Really? I think a level 2 hero would struggle to be relevant to that battle, even on the lowest difficulty. It might be worth reconsidering the lower limit.
The maps are mostly small, which is great. Interestingly, Captain Dynamic is considered "Non-Canon" - I'd imagined he was an extension of the canon. At least that's clear to me now.
Right from the contact, the arc immediately has the feel of the videos.

If the writers were hired to create this arc, why then are they in the arc? They must have chosen to be in the arc. Which makes me wonder, why are they mostly portrayed as the same hopeless fools as the budding architects we saw in the videos? Perhaps Joel wrote this. Couldn't he come up with something more imaginative? Perhaps not, perhaps he wanted to get back at his coworkers. That's all I'll say about that, though, and get on with the adventure.

The first mission has me looking only for the cat, although the mission title suggests I'm also looking for the Captain. But the mission introduction did indicate it might work this way.
The enemy group wasn't what I expected (I've spent too long thinking about these characters) but I soon warmed to them. Although I couldn't figure out the meaning of the letter on the chest of some of them.
The mobs on the map have more dialog than mobs in the last player-generated arc I played. That's good.
There is a really nice end of mission Clue - it really captures the Great Face vibe.
I felt pretty good about the arc after the first mission.

Then into the second, third and fourth missions. Why, if the writers get tangled up in the story, is it a simple "security guard" in mission 2, and not someone from the Rooster Teeth office?
We meet Captain Dynamic. It's the real-world version with baggy pants and trouser legs, not the shiny, flared boots, heroic version that Joel was building in the Rooster Teeth videos.
Captain Dynamic isn't portrayed very nice. I imagined him to be more up-beat. As an EB ally, he's somewhat overpowered. We take on (annihiliate) the big-bad, after we backtrack enough to find him.
Considering how well Clues were used in the first mission, I feel like they've almost completely dried up.
Nice that Dynamic's description changes with each mission.
As Bubba had noted, the villain group is repetitive. But it's still a good group, with lots of variety in their behaviour. I saw one called "Middle-Manager" once, but never again - perhaps it was a boss customization in one mission. With good use of patrols, I found I was often taking on multiple mobs, which added to the variety and challenge.

Finishing with the fifth mission. The maps have been great.
Geoff comes from the group, "Marketing Department", but he's described as being from the "Marketeers".
The 'Fans' dialog is a bit repetitive, being 3 of the same identical encounter. Perhaps it could be varied.
It's good to see Dynamic has been given martial arts moves. I guess his healing helps to make him a better ally, although in the videos, he was deliberately vague about what his powers were, or if he had any.
And on the second try, we defeat Great Face! (Thanks to chain holds). I still need to look for Joel's laptop, but it's close by. Nothing as epic as the first mission completion Clue, but it holds nicely to the videos.

Not a bad arc for a new release, several typos were to be expected. I do hope and pray that the author will continue to develop it, as happens with the best of the player arcs. It definitely has 5-star potential.

[Edit: the author has already corrected the typos.]

Cheers, airhead

Welcome back! This thread has a cool, walking-corpse feel to it.

I don't know if you've played "Into the Dwarven Halls", by @Harimau Garang. It's not mine, but I enjoyed it when I played it, some time ago. Quite a while ago, actually. Perhaps when this thread was still alive. I hope I15 and I16 changes have not been unkind to it.

Cheers, airhead

Nothing new here, just providing links to my reviews in other threads to simplify the Rotten CoHmatos project.

Arc 255895: Future's End, @Justice Blues (5)
Arc 253991: Splintered Shields, @Venture (5)
Arc 275741: Peacemoon's All-Star Challenge, @Peacemoon, (challenge, not story, not rated)
Arc 292449: The Shadow of Eibhon, @Photonstorm (5)
Arc 67335: Teen Phalanx Forever, @PW (4 - could not complete in three tries)
Arc 296884: A Show of Hands, @Lazarus (5)
Arc 15095: Check... and Mate, @ARH (I failed to solo this team mission: no vote, to be fair)
Arc 294363: Learning Curve (3)
Arc 177513: Un braquage Or-normes, @Kupun (5)
Arc 125715: Dungeoncleaners!, @Pep_Cat (5)
Arc 129029: Holy Moses, @Intelect (3)
Arc 304290: Galactic Protectorate - 05: @Unknown Hero (4)
Arc 307732: Uninvited, @Lazarillo (5)
Arc 15976: Glory Days, @Megajoule (5)
Arc 163967: Rider's Ribs Restaurant Rescue, @Zamuel (5)

I'm still accepting arcs to review. It's a good time to polish up ahead of the US Resident Arc Awards and the Player Arc Awards.

I'm guessing the process for voting is loosely determined at the moment, depending on how many arcs are nominated, and maybe other factors.

If a category has 2 nominations, you might aim to have every voter play both before voting. If there's 5 nominations (especially for multi-arc) then perhaps a different approach is needed. I'd like to see people replay arcs, since arcs evolve a lot over time.

That's just my perspective though. My MO means I generally see arcs in their early development. So I'd want to replay before voting, and I cannot possibly complete all of the categories this way. That's assuming I'm eligible to vote - I wish Bubbawheat all the best coming up with a suitable strategy for the competition

Ahh, thanks Bubbawheat. I guess I needed to be cannier. Perhaps it could be made more obvious, although I can't think of a way right now. I'd put it down to my Russian Flu, but then I'd get quarantined.

Another review: Arc 323332, Trick or Treat, @Werpan

This at my third time through this arc, previous reviews sent by PM. It has improved a lot with every visit. Yet I found typos I missed twice before. Sorry about that.
It's just three maps, a heroic short story, set in Croatoa. I'm going after "more than the usual ghosts", who "mean trouble". There are 4 arcs with "Trick or Treat" in the title, this is the newest one. Level range is 20-54, suitable for encountering the odd Elite Boss mentioned in the warning.

I meet Aulay Catherwood, a contemporary of Percy Winkley in the Midnight Squad. He doesn't have Percy's track record of getting taken hostage. Instead, he features an Irish background and a know-it-all grandmother (who apparently knows me, mysterious). Cool. So I'm off to rescue some trick-or-treaters, plying their costumes in an abandoned office building used to host this annual event.

Immediately the mission nav text tells me I'm to defeat Liadan. I don't know why, or who that is, no doubt it's part of "investigating the office building". Perhaps it could be "Search for troublemakers".
The well-described custom ghosts remind me of jelly babies, for some reason. Very bright colors, for ghosts.
With the change since last version to have "find information" instead of assuming "find scroll" in the nav text, now the altar should also just be "You search the altar", not "You search the altar for the old scroll" (since I don't know yet I'm chasing a scroll).
Just an idea, since you have a Viking clue and a Clown clue, perhaps you could have a Genie clue too.
I return to the contact.

I'm off to stop the Specters from making a portal. After my last arc review, I've learned to test every busy message.
The description of the Stone Tablet Clue could be in past tense - since I only get it after destroying the tablet.
I rescue, defeat and destroy, and it's back to the contact.

The final mission, and I take on the big baddie. He's a perfect foil for me, resistant to mez, and healing pretty fast. I beat him - twice - using several inspirations and most of my accolade powers. He seems perfectly balanced for me - the warnings to bring friends would be quite appropriate for many heroes. I defeat the portal, and it's back to the contact.

The arc is pretty simple. The plot is straightforward, the gameplay is solid, the detail is thorough. The souvenir is quite small. I'd rate this a 4 except that I had a great time taking on the big baddie. This might vary for other archetypes, but for me it was a good challenge. So I rated it a 5.

Cheers, airhead

Typos:
Genie's description: you can remove the word 'here' - she's either just here, or just trying to score some chocolate.
Liadan's description: and has few -> and there are few
Mission 1 Exit pop-up: seems lot less -> seems a lot less
Mission 2 introduction: contruction -> construction

It's been a while since I added to this thread. I have been reviewing a lot through PMs, and most recently I had a family holiday. I will update shortly with reviews I did in other threads, and I think I have another (3rd or 4th pass) review request in my PMbox. Meanwhile:

Arc 329000, Backwards Day, @GlaziusF

Given the non-linear timeline of this arc, I can only really review it as a train of thought, and hope that you can see the context of where I was, when I describe something. Indeed, a "Glazius-style review". Overall however it was an excellent story, convoluted, but holding together, just. Some bits are perhaps a little too convoluted (or might be in error), see details below. Having everything seem cryptic was tiring for me towards the end of the third mission. It'd be nice if some of the in-mission stuff started to make sense by then. I like having a lot of absurdity and spurious logic, but I sense that some of it might not be deliberate, and having too much doesn't let me feel a part of what is going on.

But this is definitely a 5-star potential arc, for concept, and the details are excellent. Hopefully my commentary below helps polish it up.

Cheers, airhead


It's villainous! Looks like a big one - 3 medium maps, and 2 unique maps. Level range is consistently 25-30. The second (medium-sized) map is a Defeat All, which worries me a little bit, but that shouldn't be fatal. It does feature the Slag Golems, who I feel are much underutilized. The arc description is intriguing, but also illogical - unless I assume Diviner Maros is talking to me from the future. How, why, hopefully my contact will explain. The description also calls it a "goon arc for Shevat". No clue at all what that means. Elite bosses, and enemies with custom powers. Shouldn't be too hard, I hope.

Indeed, my contact is Diviner Maros. And his description explains all the confusion I had with the arc description (apart from the "Shevat" reference).

The 5-mission story starts, intriguingly, at Part 5. Maros' outline is suitably muddled (I love muddled arcs); my likely musings are well presented in a different color and require me to scroll down. That's all great.
Weird info in the send-off text. Clues will be numbered M1 to M5 - but I think the first mission is M5. However my first Clue (before I enter the mission) is called M1. Shouldn't the order be reversed, in line with the "Part 5" that Maros outlined?
M1) A bronze pendant clue: loop. is -> loop, is (comma)
Also, the send-off says I should bug Maros before heading into any mission. Not sure why that needs to be told to me in "out of character" symbols (double-brackets). I'd expect the story logic to encourage my return to the contact.

At this point I'm already extremely intrigued by the story. Not sure why it's villainous yet, though.

I find a Superadine Lab, with a description that indicates "I'm pretty sure there isn't a pendant in there" - hang on. I'm carrying a pendant, it's in my pre-mission clue. I get the feeling it might be meant to be an end-of-mission clue.
I search a pile. It says "someone else got the coral hearts". Why would I expect to find coral hearts there? [this character hasn't encountered slag golems before].
Cool battle text! (I guess I didn't know Devouring Earth and Slag Golems could talk).
Okay, so there's Freakshow, Family, Devouring Earth, and mostly Slag Golems. Wait... what? I destroy the comm device and figure out the Freaks' plan. Seems a bit irrelevant down here.
I find the pendant, time finds a new equilibrium, and then there's just one pendant. All is good, although I'm not sure if I was given the first pendant (I must have, since I haven't travelled in time yet, only Maros might have). It's description resembles a viewglass for seeing into the near past or future.
No problem with the medium sized map there.
Exit pop-up says my pendant is now less crushed and melted. The original was misshapen (okay, crushed) but only verdigrised (eroded), not melted. Suggest changing 'melted' to 'eroded'.
The return message, yellow text, indicates I think I've beaten the person behind this (the Timekeeper?) in the future. But where is that revealed? Aren't the Timekeeper's activities beyond Maros' reach, such that he might only guess whether he was/will be defeated? Overall, I think the yellow text is giving me too much credit for figuring out Maros' chronobabble.

The second mission begins extra-cryptic, but I listen anyway. Hopefully the keywords used will make sense soon enough.
Part 4 (second mission) intro: Maros's -> Maros'
The send-off text: I have to read it twice to get much out of it. Normally, that'd be a bad thing. But for a deliberately muddled arc, it's a good thing.
The entry pop-up says "it's not his (Maros') own". His own civilization? Or home?
Blood-stone Jimmy's description: perhaps "Wonder what he wants to see in the future" should be "Wonder why he wants to see into the future"
The mission completed when I defeated Maros, despite the requirement to do a ritual. Perhaps Maros' "Michael Bay" Well is supposed to be a required objective? But then I read the clue from Maros, and see I did the ritual there over his body. Perhaps this could be indicated in the defeated-boss text.
I haven't met any creatures out of time yet, but since Maros could be out of sync I may be yet to meet those.
Good exit pop-up.
Return message indicates I met the creatures from the times that never were. Those Circle of Thornses? Did they merely appear to be Circle of Thorns? I don't understand.
Return message is titled: Part Four: Return of the Long Now. But the return message also indicates I'm probably off to steal the Long Now in the next mission. Is that deliberately confused? Doesn't even seem to make absurd sense. In any case, my pendant resembles a Loupe after the first mission. I guess this is simply Maros giving me orders in the wrong order.

Third mission intro suggests (in yellow) that I've met the Maros that doesn't know me, because 10,000 years dropped off his voice. But wait - I am talking to a Maros who does know me, although he might have me rescue a Maros who doesn't. Why would I observe the change in Contact-Maros' voice? It doesn't sound like a logical deduction.

I'm in a building full of Devouring Earth, Coralax, Freakshow, Arachnos - all of group "Undone Futures". I can understand (sort of) why there might be such a medley here, but why are they working together? Couldn't they just be different but homogeneous villain groups?
I find an ally, who suggests we have a common interest. But what interest is that? No reason why the Freak needs to be cryptic.
This map, unlike the others so far, feels too big. There's lots of mobs of the same critters over and over. Often they have dialogue, but it doesn't seem to help further the plot.
Ooh. I've never seen this map. Interesting head office room. That goes outside. That is huge. Searching, searching... and no map to help me.
I lose my ally. When we get back together he says "Wow it worked again. This must be what the first guy who took Excelsior felt like!". I don't get this at all.
I find Maros in the end. His description is so cryptic, I wonder if it's a default description for a character in some other story?
But thank goodness it's over. It took a while to find the roof where Maros was.
The return pop-up is cryptic. I remember everything that failed? What is that supposed to mean? As far as I'm aware, I'm going forward normally in time, it's Maros who is incongruent.

4th mission, "Part Two", send-off msg: did Maros ever talk about creatures that looked like static holes in reality? I don't think he did. It's okay if Maros makes no sense, that's his charm, but my musings to myself (yellow text) should make sense.
I had to take a break and sleep at this point. When I came back, I'd already selected the mission, so I got the busy message. The busy message goes a fair way to explaining what's going on - but many players won't encounter this! I'm not sure if only the leader can see the busy message, but in any case, most people don't look for it. Hopefully this isn't the only place that the odd mix of critters is explained.
Splintered Instant and Frozen Moment are very well described!
4syte's description takes the liberty of assuming my character fought beside a certain person during the Rikti War. It doesn't fit my own character's background, since he only started being a hero in July of 2008.
4syte's behavior post-caudron is awesome! I wondered if he was just spouting rubbish. I guess not. On the other hand, I hope I find out soon why this happened.
Again I am wondering why I am looking for a loupe when I think I have a loupe (that is also a pendant).But then again, this has happened before, and my pendant got updated... so I guess it's Maros-logical.
Foresight description: Generaly -> Generally (incidentally, good description)
Hrm. Major backtracking here. I hope it's worth it. Well, it wasn't really, no new critters along the way.
Foresight's Research clue indicates I should use the pendant and loupe together. But I've been using the pendant as a kind of loupe anyway. Perhaps indicate they're both loupes, of a kind. I really thought I was going to just have my pendant time-merge with the loupe, like happened with the two pendants.
Thanks to having read the busy message (by pure luck) I found this mission less cryptic than previous ones.
Return text indicates I'll be going into the foundry again, but this time I'll be prepared... I'm not sure I'm entirely prepared. I have a new viewing gadget, but no more of a clue what I'll need to do.

Fifth mission... and the contact is asking me to return to him when I am ready. That's usually the kind of thing said in a return text, but it's Maros, and he's always out of sync, so I trust that's working as intended.
Having learned my lesson, I check the Busy text. Again, it's full of useful information. Perhaps my yellow colored internal musings in earlier missions could have suggested I ply Maros for more information, even while busy with something else... just to get people to look there.
Nice pop-up on entry! But when I hit OK on it, I leave the mission. Ugh. Going back in again...
Eerie, empty map. Soon encountering the Snarls of Time. It looks like quite a big CoT maps for my finale - I just hope I don't have to hunt any glowies.
Nice decoy and its description.
M5) An Augmented Pendant clue: perhpaps -> perhaps
Okay, I collect 3 allies. Looks like I have to retrace much of the map! I get to the room with red crystals, and the allies get stuck. Repeatedly. In range of the red crystals. I spend ten minutes convincing them to follow me, and trying to avoid the red crystals. Not fun.
But we eventually find Timekeeper close to the front. The allies make short work of him.
The contact-Maros has appeared too! Very cool.

And then the souvenir attempts to clarify all that has come before. With a bit more logic than Maros. Just a bit. Good effort.

One of the best arcs I've played. A gem in the rough.

Ah well. At least this way, the Americans have a chance.

Go Canada!

I remember playing Sumericon's arc some time ago, the details are now hazy. It was one of the better Dev Frozen arcs. The plot is interesting. It essentially simulates your role in the origins of the Clockwork King. I think it was done as if it really happened - so more like an Ouroboros adventure, than a simulation. I don't know what I rated it at the time, probably a 5, I was easily impressed back then when MA had just been released, but other DC arcs scored much lower from me. Curiously, this flashback into City of Heroes history is similar to the concept of Dalgryn's Consequences of War arcs, although the atmosphere is considerably different.

But if I was to rate Sumericon's arc today, I might give it a potential 5, and ask that typos and the up-down level ranges be smoothed out. I believe that was once possible. A Dev Chum author could fix his arc, then have a developer check the changes against the original (to ensure NCSoft wasn't lending their name to something that might become a legal issue) and then NCSoft would insert it. I don't know of this ever happening, whether due to authors, lack of time at NCSoft, lack of mechanism to make the fix, or even lack of critiques to highlight improvements. Whatever, I believe updates are not happening, so I would rate this arc a 4, because it's stuck.

And yeah, my monikers for the DC process are divisive. It is not sour grapes. I tease, hoping that someone at NCSoft might explain the process better, since it's not based around attention to detail or any of the MA features since the first release. Perhaps a cruder arc is less likely to bug out in the long run, and DC arcs are chosen to be "robust". Even better than an explanation would be to get the process going again, or find another way to avoid having MA appear to be crude and unchanging.

Arc 163,967, Rider's Ribs Restaurant Rescue, @Zamuel

I've played this arc before. No great surprise, as it reminds me of one of mine - it has almost the same votes and rating, is a comedy, and has 3 maps (a medium length arc). I rated this arc a 4 last time, but that was a while ago, and I rated it a potential 5 since it has been updated. I felt there was still some polish to go around the edges, but it's a very enjoyable arc for the 20-25 level range. No EB or AV (but has some custom powers), just a homey, hero-worthy plot. It's definitely not for vegetarians, although both fast-food-fans and anti-fast-food zealots might find something in this one.

It has some great food references. They're not "whack over the head" puns, which is nice. "This dish is far from done with the scum that lingers." definitely put a bad taste in my mouth, although I couldn't say exactly why.

What can I say? It is a Fun Filled Family Feud Featuring Fried Food. I really enjoyed the story. The stuff below is nit-picks, the story actually runs pretty smoothly.

Cheers, airhead


It says that the warehouse secretary has "been through weirder..." - perhaps her description could indicate she appears to be the same woman who was caught up in the such-and-such heist last year (presumably explaining why her picture was in the papers). Otherwise, this is just a really strange thing to say.

The Cleaver is described as cutting large slabs of meat for burgers. Perhaps she'd be better suited to preparing ribs, since burgers are minced.
Disasta Recipe's liking for farm fresh tomatoes escapes me. It might be a reference to a fast food commercial, or it might just be 'one of those things' - which I found a lot of in this arc. Note, you don't have to go explaining all of these, I'm just mentioning them because they stood out.
The Family Rivalry clue says that Disasta sneered "cousin", so there was no way she's lying. About what? That she has the recipe for disaster? This could be a bit clearer. Indeed, the exit popup says that my contact has some explaining to do. The real confusion is that I'm supposed to know Disasta isn't lying because she sneered, but she didn't say who her cousin was at all.
Oh yeah. "Beefed up security". Heh.

Mission 3. Tira said rescuing her dad comes first, but once in the mission my only objective is to defeat King Colonel. The dad objective comes later. Perhaps tweak the mission introduction to allow for this?
I like the optional objective, Mega Grand Order of Explosive Chicken Combo (although the title runs off the side of the window somewhat)
If King Colonel's food glows, because KC is radioactive, perhaps you could give the KC toon a glow aura.

When M3 is completed, you get a clue. But the clue is not at the end of the list of clues, the Mega Grand Order comes after. You could have this be in a better order two ways: (1) change the clue to be an end-of-mission clue, instead of an objective clue, or (2) change the order of the objectives so the escort comes last (drag and drop now possible for the order of objectives in the mission editor).

Typos:
M2 Forklift Driver captor dialogue: Explosive Chicken combo meal <-- needs a period on the end
M2 Warehouse secretary: description needs a period on the end
M2 return message: which why -> which is why
Family Rivalry Clue: remove period from Clue title (to be consistent with your other clues). Apparantly -> Apparently
King Colonel's description: and blames -> and he blames
In the final clue, Tyrone Rider is described as "Your best friend's father". It might not be in keeping with my backstory to assume Tira Rider is my best friend.
M3 exit pop-up: showing of mercy -> show of mercy

Good grief.

I think you'd limit your audience by using a Youtube video, but you might still have an audience. You might offend people if the video requirement is sprung on them after they've already started, or you might just have people not start your arc if you mention it up front.

But there's absolutely no harm in trying this. I am stunned at the linear, lowest common denominator philosophy of some of the posts above. Sure, write a formulaic arc that everyone can play, everyone can understand. Flip burgers. People need people to do that.

Or try something different. The City of Heroes crowd may be too insular to ultimately appreciate your efforts to get out of the box, but your inventiveness may someday stretch to other things, other facets of life, other worlds... and the cute little gimmick you perfected here may find a nice big luxury home in another context.

Long live creativity.

Poor Skarmory...

SkarmoryThePG should play, 'Captain Dynamic, the Great, Faces The Great Face' - Tryouts (190069) because, although it probably makes no sense on any level, it is guaranteed to contain no Polish jokes.

Thanks Policewoman for the review! The arc's been out there for a really long time (since I14 beta) but this is only the second review with detail it's ever had (total of 32 plays). Your focus on detail is great and found some problems, but you also need to look at misisons not in isolation, if you're going to enjoy the plot development. I'll start with the very useful parts of this review:

• M1: A cleaner is a janitor. I'll remove references to 'cleaner' for Uncle Sam.
• M1: The objectives were recently reordered in missions 1 (and 3) to be linear / less backtracking. That caused the two issues you found: I'll give you a reason to destroy the lever early, and I'll move Fairgo's clue to himself.
• M1: Bat'Zul is also the name of a Villain Group. But I'll make it a "flaming imp" to reduce complexity.
• M3: I'll add more dialog to the hospital. I've never seen dialog from Voids or Quantums before, and was going for "silent assassins". They'll say things like "Shhh".
• M3: I can fix the Quantum typo since I had to recreate all the Quantum critters as customs (I16 removes all the Quantum possibilities).
• M3: I'll extend the phone number by one digit, to 555-531-8008.
• M4: I already fixed "Mrs" to "Mr" following ArrowRose's review.
• M3/M4: I'll clarify why Fairgo went to Laos, it might have been lost when I linearized the objectives on the M3 map.
• M4: "dessicated" should be "desiccated" A typo! I'll fix it.
• why exactly is Fairgo so important to Rat Race?
  A good question! I had no reason, the person Rat Race is modelled on never seemed to have a reason. But there had to be one (before he got fired, woohoo). I will add it to the Employee Record Clue in the 5th mission. In case you don't play this again: "The Crey psychologist determined that Rat Race actually hated running the company's rat labs. He resents Fairgo because Fairgo actually seems to enjoy what he does. At least, everyone tells him so. He never actually met Fairgo face to face! It would seem fitting punishment to have Rat Race clean cages until he has the company's best interests at heart."

Some suggestions don't fit the story, or answer themselves even within your review:

• M3: I won't use the Mayhem hospital. This is a clean, well-run hospital.
• M4: There's a lot of the mutant rats around, sent by the contact to, umm... I guess eat Fairgo?
  From mission intro: I sent a shipment of our 'pets' after Fairgo to track him down. So eat, track, whatever big evil rats might do.
• M4: Clicking the jars seemed pretty unrewarding
  The jars on the real Plain of Jars in Laos are just as unrewarding. One clue to explain these is enough. More would detract from other much more important clues.
• M1: You find the contact suspicious, but you're fine with the terms of the Accept text. I assume then there is no issue here.
  
• M4: I heard a few Proximity Mines saying "CLICK" which was nice and ominous, but I never did see them.
  You're lucky, they're really nasty. Better if it's just ominous. No doubt some ratters encountered them first.
• M4: Perhaps there should be either a body bag glowy or a custom mob that looks like a mummified corpse.
  You can't control objective placement on an outdoor map.
• M4: Found Pha Xiong, who spawned as a Tsoo boss for me. His description says it's just the astral form of Pha Xiong; this seems unnecessarily complicated? I'm in Laos as it is, no reason we couldn't have a physically present Tsoo boss.
• Pha Xiong's dialog is actually pretty fun though, and he says things that actually make it work for him to only be here astrally.
  Pha Xiong, Tub Ci's mentor, has perhaps the strongest reason for remaining tied to Laos. Yet, in canon, and in his dialog, he is clearly in the Zig. An astral avatar is the simplest way to have him present.
• M5: This seemed a little anticlimactic
  Some players want to face Rat Race at the end. Others like the going-full-circle. If you just leave him there, that's your decision (and you said you liked having 3 choices).
• Debriefing: apparently as a result of my investigations, somehow the contact ... has the Tsoo, Family and Nictus all after him. Kind of funny; though, I'm not quite sure why they're all after the contact. Would it make more sense if they were after me, since I'm the one who busted up the Family orphanage, the Nictus hospital and the Tsoo thing in Laos? Maybe needs some explanation saying how they somehow figured out that I was "working" for Rat Race.
  The Tsoo were in Laos. The ratter crates in Laos (all four of them) are labelled "Crey rat labs". But you were fighting ratters in Laos. I don't think it's much to expect these villain groups to figure it out, from this, or from any other means (Crey Quantum agents, Family investigations, whatever). I'll ponder how how this can be more blatant, but really: how can one person Rat Race be expected to know how the villains knew?

Other parts of the review don't make sense. Can you explain:

• M1: "The description of Fairgo's power is quite funny."
  
  
  M2: "The mobs make some sympathetic noises about helping Fairgo out. This being the case, I'm not quite sure why they are hostile to me."
  You saw (but forgot) Fairgo has the power of "nice". You do not have that power. And you're a hero, and they're organized crime. Why would they not be hostile?
• M2: I have "Unless...", "You want to be a rat cage cleaner" linking mission 2-return and mission 3-intro. What is the problem here?
• M3: I assume the player recognizes that a 'rat cage janitor' job is a demotion compared with 'hero'. Would it explain why Rat Race still offers you a job, or why you decline?
• M1: It looks like the idea behind this arc is that you are now subtly sabotaging the contact's evil plans. A potentially interesting spin.
  M3: But I now have a mission that seems unrelated to anything the contact wants.
  So, what is the problem here?
• M3: [NPC] Void Seeker: Hi intruder! How are you doing? ....which is a very weird thing for an enemy to say.
  You saw (but forgot) Fairgo has the power of "nice". Weird is exactly how it should sound.
• M3: What is Fairgo doing here anyway?
  I explained that in dialog, clue and pop-up in mission 2, is that how you guessed it in any case?
• M1: Black Ratter's description, "mating a lab rat with a Flaming Bat'Zul. [now a flaming imp]
  M4: I rescued a couple "Friendly Ratter" mobs that seemed to be allies; they had dark blast (which I don't understand) and claws (which makes sense).
  What would explain, for you, the dark blast power?
• M4: The mobs guarding the friendly ratters should have some dialog; if the friendly ones can talk, no reason the others can't talk too.
  Only the ones that were friends with Fairgo learned to talk. How would the other ones learn to talk?
• M4: My objectives updated to include "Defeat the nesting ratters". I'm not sure why they need to be defeated in particular; is nesting somehow causing problems?
  Why do creatures build a nest?
• M4: Rescuing Mr Bahn triggered a new objective of "Defeat Pha Xiong", which I think I am supposed to defeat because he's oppressing Mr Bahn somehow.
  I presume you met Mr Bahn, since you rescued him (although it's feasible the mines messed this up). Did you read to his dialog?
• I found and defeated "Chief Nesting Ratter", who gave me the clue "Fairgo's real mummy?" This describes a mummy who recognizes Fairgo somehow and then falls down and dies. But I never saw a mummy at all - just more rats. So where did this come from?
  This is a neat mission, but seems messed up somehow, with the inconsistent dialog and clues (was Mrs Bahn eaten by rats or did she see Fairgo? where was this mummy? what was the secret of the jars?
  This: The ratters dug up a sealed jar - with a living mummy inside! It speaks to Fairgo, then dies. One typo (Mrs->Mr) in Clue that was fixed after ArrowRose review. In addition, the explanation is repeated (and further elaborated with some translation) in the souvenir. Did you read the souvenir?
• M5: Briefing: Seems very short. Could use some more text. It looks like the idea is that we go dig Rat Race out of the Crey Rat Lab.
  The villain is identified, he taunts you, you go after him. What still needs to be said?
• M5: what happened to Fairgo? Did he stay in Laos?
  Did you read the souvenir?

I don't have a problem with a 3-star review, based on the issues above that I'll fix. That includes revealing Rat Race's motivation. But why does Rat Race keep thinking I'm working for him after he almost fired me? He is a typical crappy boss. He thinks he can "motivate" by criticizing, threatening to fire. I am not about to ruin the character by making him stick to his word. And the last mission will remain, for players who dislike Rat Race (most players so far). Will the fixes make any difference to your rating?

I took only a couple of days' break to update an arc to cope with new constraints of I16. Otherwise, I'm still here. It's also been weekdays. But there does seem to be a tailing-off of interest in story discussion.

It is impossible to find half-decent stories in-game, buried under the ubiquitous Dev Chosen Few From I14 Beta, and star searches that find so many farms. There is also no way to see player reviews in-game. Perhaps they could find a way to make "Comments" visible to other players for an arc, but first you'd need to remove the basic concealment built into the system:

Give some players (or a support person) the power to flag Farm and Story arcs, and revoke that privilege if they act in error. Put the "Story", "Farm", "Dev Chosen Few" search options at the top level of Search. And have that option default from login to login! I never get to see anything new the way it is set up now. So of course it looks old and tired.

I like the I16 requirement to have complete (minion + lt + boss) factions, and I'm hoping common sense will prevail to allow "Standard" enemies (at least up to boss level) award normal experience. Few farms I've seen ever use custom critters. Perhaps there's some data-mined explanation for punishing custom factions, if so, someone please let me know where to look!

Arc 299972, The Coldest of Wars, @Celestial Nemesis

A canon-related save-the-world mystery! Level range is consistently high, with two small maps, one medium, one unique. Crey (oh oh, Powertanks), Freaks and customs. It's shown to be Final, so I won't suggest any changes. Elite bosses, enemies with custom powers! The plot is very good, with exceptional detail. The Crey Tanks were somewhat repetitive at the arc's level. As it is now, I give it a very solid four stars.


My contact today is Agent Kellum. I'm off to save an FBSA agent from Crey, where he has uncovered a plot to mass-produce superheroes. As feared, my level 50 controller faces hordes of Crey Tanks, so I job past them to take on the objectives. The first computer I find has entertainingly useless data. Ooh! And the security chief is a bit different, pot-shots me from a mile away. I teleport-sleep and take him out - but he has some great dialogue. Er, "she". I hadn't noticed, til the defeat text. The next computer is the same as the first. But the third completes my (or it seems, the hostage's) data collection, I free the hostage, and I'm done!

Okay, so another Crey invasion. With some help from Volta (Terra, presumably) to cut the power. I'll be contacted with 2 minutes til power cut (timed mission! No warning! But I have an hour and a half...). I guess it's considered I'll take 2 minutes to reach the mission. Then power is restored as I enter. I guess that was all perfectly timed then, and I didn't have to do a thing!
I take out the security chief, and let his Crey Tank ambush pursue me as I seek out my objectives.
I find a couple of computers. Then the Engineer, a curious flashback. He has some intriguing allies - including a stripper-bot (okay, ablative bot) called Matryoshka. And a bot with a bow. Cute. Oh nice - the dying bot takes a suicide pill! Awesome.
My clues mention a cemetery in I.Port. If that's Independence, I don't remember a cemetery there. Also spy paraphernalia from the 60s.

I "Accept" mission 3, and I'm off to stop the old fashioned ice cream machines. Awesome plot. It's another timed mission, a whole hour. I arrive in my... Arachnos Flier... and leap into action against the... Freaks. The ice cream machines have turned into spectral analysers - presumably some sort of reconfiguration, they don't look like ice cream makers. They're defended by Frostlings. Were these the vendors? Passers-by? Or something created entirely by the machine?
Good variety in the patrol dialogue. I take out the Freak leader, in case it sheds any light. Seems the Freaks were merely filling the void caused by the catastrophe. I defeat the leader, but the objective remains - perhaps I left some of his group behind.
Okay, so I completed the mission. Not very dangerous situation, really - presumably the defrosted Soviets were supposed to do something while the hazard took place. The minor nature of the hazard was not lost on my contact.

The last mission references Steel Canyon (which looked more like Atlas Park), then it's time to take on the rogue Soviet-era spies. It's another timed mission, so I guess I won't be taking that breather, and I'll finish it right now.
There's some great intel on the enemy provided. Something often overlooked in other arcs, despite having well-informed contacts.
Ooh, I get to rescue a Crey! Nice twist.
Interesting twist with disarming the bomb too. I wonder if the defeat-all requirement could have appeared after the bomb. That might annoy some people though, if they've stealthed it this far.
Awesome dialogue on the big-bads! Careful attention to the animations of their lackeys too. This is a great example to others, of the potential for character-building boss dialogue.

Nice work!

You might like to try arc 1144. It was my early attempt to turn an origin story into an arc (but with a focus on the player). It's solo-friendly, unless you're a Peacebringer or Warshade, in which case it's soul-destroying. I've just reworked large parts of it to accomodate I16 changes. I've tested it right through, but I don't know if the storyline is still clear to other people.

You can rush through this in 1/2 hour, savor it for 45 minutes or grind it to dust in about an hour.

Arc 221702, The Pursuit of Liberty, @Gypsy Rose

I've actually played this before, very early on. At that point, I was struck by the "modern fairytale" elements of a child, artifacts, and the enchanted garden among more conventional CoH elements. I knew there'd be hurdles with many players/reviewers regarding the details of combat balance and plot. But the author has weathered those well, to create an arc that is still true to the original intent, and runs very smoothly. My third pass through this arc rates it 5-stars.


The arc description has covered playability pretty well, how to solo, beware of humor, play at own risk... but I think it undersells the arc. Perhaps just offer the player the chance to work with Ms. Liberty to inspire a future hero in this modern fairytale spanning nine years in the life of young Liberty Rose Jones. Or something. Actually, it's 9 years plus whatever number of years I jumped into the future. This arc is flagged as an origin story. But the problems with origin stories - focus not on the player / overpowered allies / author inserts at odds with the plot - do not apply here.

The first mission involves my first rescue of the future heroine. Evidence introduces me to the villain in this piece.

The plot is quirky. I'm traveling in time, but I have to "hurry", or "it will be dark soon"! Cute. The second mission uses a blue caves map. This is interesting for it is highly unusual. They're often avoided even more than CoT maps, simply because things can be hard to find in these caves. But being brave enough to use one of these maps makes the arc stand out as different. The map is actually quite linear. Exiting, the idea of wearing the heroine's costume ... did not cross my mind! Really! Won't someone believe me?

Mission 3, and I'm after a book and a girl. A nerd's paradise! In an enchanted garden, no less. I find what I'm looking for, and also get to beat up a villain with a great name. My, hasn't Little Liberty... grown. Little Liberty has the book she came here to find, and we're ready for mission 4 - the swords!

And I nab the swords, and save the unfortunate Statesman. Walked into a trap, eh? Great photo opportunity, Statesman looking sheepish and rubbing his elbow after I rescue him. So now Little Liberty's fully equipped! Time for the finale, to finally get Master Al! [as an aside, I wonder if MAL is modelled on a real life counterpart].

And into the fifth mission! Gah. Little Liberty is not Little any more. In fact, Liberty... Rose. Defied gravity. Must... focus... on... bad guys... Found all the good guys within the first minute, but it took a while to find MAL. This time I'll let Liberty Rose join in the fight. Her swords look pretty impressive, for something built by Merlin! Swords, dude. Merlin didn't make the costume. Hey, woah. If I abandon her, she holds out a sword pose. But it's a different kind of sword... Liberty Rose could be one category weaker, and still be a useful ally.
But in the end, I have to give up trying to get her to follow me up a cliff we descended earlier. I take on MAL on my own, and clobber him. Me and his confused robot minions... a nice heroic debriefing, and sadly, my fairytale is over. I can't believe I didn't get any screenshots of Liberty Rose. What WAS I thinking?