From the Cutting Room Floor...
By
Llydia,
Posted on: 2012-09-14 21:00 in CoH and CoV General Discussions
Fun! Thank you for sharing these!
The City of Horoscopes made me smile and fit surprisingly well. That's the one I'll be saddest to not have seen you finish.
Followed closely by the City Of Heroes Solitaire Game. I really like the concept you outlined so far and would have liked to seen it completed. It would be a good way to play CoH when at places without internet, like during airplane flights.
Thanks again and always for sharing, Steelclaw!
Aww man! Now I'll never know my City of Heroes Astromological Sign! 
/e drat
When I make my lists, parodies, jokes, lame attempts at humor, etc... I normally do them on a Word Doc then cut and paste when they are complete.
However, over the years, not all of my lists actually got large enough to warrant posting. What follows is a hodgepodge collection of unrelated lists, ideas and minutia that... until now... have never seen the light of day...
I figure now is as good a time as any to share them...
You have been warned...
In Game Uses for Ragdoll Physics
* New Temp Power: The De-Boning Ray.
* New Mission Contact: Twitchy MacGregor
* New Low Level Enemy: Stringless Marionettes
PM I Sent to Zwillinger Just Prior to April Fools
The following is a suggestion for your annual April Fool's "Announcement". As both the NFL and NBA have had player/owner threats, negotiations and walk-outs, I figured this would be appropriate. If you DO decide to use it there is no need to give me any sort of credit or acknowledgement... I get in enough trouble around this place as it is.
Talks between Paragon Studios Management and the Collective Bargaining Coalition of NPCs broke down today after 12 hours in the negotiating chamber.
"Their demands were simply unrealistic," said Management's spokesperson, Zwillinger. "They utterly refused to bend on their demands. We went to the meeting in good faith, even made some gestures towards concessions to meet somewhere in the middle. The NPC representatives seemed more interested in punishing us than in coming to an agreement."
"Accusing us of having an ulterior agenda, as though this were some sort of conspiracy, is completely ridiculous and says more about the mindset of management than it does our intentions," said lead NPC spokesman Lord Nemesis. "Our demands are simple and patently obvious to anyone who examines our situation here in the game. We have been and will continue to be absolutely transparent and direct about our motivations and goals."
When it comes to demands, the NPC Union has many and has publicly stated that the least of its concerns will be fought for with equal ferocity as the greatest. From civillians to contacts to enemy groups, they insist that no one will be left behind or forgotten.
"The average man on the street has to realize what conditions we're working under," quoted a source who wished to remain anonymous. "I don't have something as cushy as a 40 hour work week. I have to fight Villains in certain missions in the Rogue Isles. I put in cameo appearances all through-out the Signature Story Arcs. But I'm still expected to stand out there training up player heroes by the Atlas Statue twenty-four hours a day. Does this sound fair to you? Uhh... this WILL be kept anonymous right?"
Another point on which the Union plans to remain firm is the subject of health care.
"There are layers upon layers of improprieties in the way Management handles NPC health," said Dr. Vahzilok during a recent press conference. "First of all we have the enemy groups whose JOB it is to get beaten, shot, set on fire, electrocuted, frozen and a hundred other indignities at the hands of the players. A player who is 'defeated' is sent to a comfortable hospital with beds and an attentive nursing staff. Your average Skull who endures and succumbs to player abuse is teleported to a dingy back room of the casting department where the best they can hope for is a vending machine snack and some harried casting director screaming at them to get to Kings Row or else they're fired."
And it's not just the combat NPCs who need health care addressed.
"Even our Paragon City civillians are subject to health issues," continued Vahzilok. "They walk all day, every day, but our requests for proper footwear or company provided shoe inserts have been ignored. Our best doctors have submitted reports of purse tug-of-war repetitive motion injuries. They have explained that running while your hands are held up above your head is unsafe and hazardous. Management has remained silent on these issues."
And apparently the wear and tear of a normal work day is not limited to physical stress. Some NPC Union members are claiming emotional pain and suffering as well.
"I don't think people realize how draining it is, how much of our true selves, we put into our work," said Manticore in a sit down interview. "Or how many players are playing how many story arcs. Just this past week I've had to kill my wife over 500 times. It's putting a strain on our off-screen relationship."
Management has yet to make an official public response to these allegations. They only state that they are "taking the NPC Union's demands very seriously" and will "approach all negotiations with an open mind and a strong desire to leave the table with everyone happy."
Management has categorically denied rumors of a plan to do a game-wide NPC memory wipe.
The NPC Union has threatened that if concessions are not reached by noon Eastern Standard Time on April 1st, 2012, they will officially go on strike.
"If the players want someone to fight, let them go to a PvP zone," said Hellion Blood Brother Brawler.
****
I figure you can jazz up the article with pictures of some big-name NPCs like Recluse, Brawler or Nemesis doing the Protest emote. Maybe edit the picture to put actual strike slogans on the signs.
If you REALLY want to amp up the April tom-foolery then around noon time EST have an in-game notice pop up on everyone's screen. Basically using the same system as when you announce Known Issues or Event information, etc. The notice will explain that due to the breakdown of negotiations the NPCs have gone on strike. Management apologizes for the inconvenience but, since they would rather fall on their swords than provide a poor play experience to the players, they have been forced to hire SCABS to take the place of the usual NPC workers.
"We apologize if these replacement workers act or speak differently than the actors you are used to. We resolve to fix this situation in a more permanent fashion as quickly as possible."
I would normally suggest making a few actual "April Fool's Egg" (as opposed to Easter Egg) changes (like Ms. Liberty now has the 80 year old woman's face under her mask or Positron has hair) but I know that's a bit too labor intensive for a one-day event. On the other hand, I bet hard-cash-money that at least SOME chat and forum chatter will claim they found a SCAB doing their job wrong.
Anyway, like I said, use it or not, I thought this would be a cute/funny idea, so I submit it for your use/approval.
City Of Heroes Solitaire Game - Never Completed
This card game requires a standard deck of cards with the Jokers removed. It will also require counters which can be basically anything from pennies to potato chips, although non-edible items are probably best.
Shuffle the deck. You will deal out 3 piles of five cards each then set the remaining 37 cards off to the side for now.
The first five card pile is the PUG pile. This is your team of heroes. Turn the cards over and place them in front of you evenly spaced. The card value determines what ATs and powersets make up your team. Each hero has their own attack and defense rating as well as a special ability. Placement and use of these cards is imperative to winning the game.
The second stack of five cards are the Mission cards. Your PUG is involved in a five mission story arc. These mission cards tell you what the objective of each individual mission is. Only one of these cards is face up at a time. Once the current mission has been completed that mission card is discarded and the next one turned over. The game is won if all five mission cards are discarded.
The third stack of five cards are the Map cards. Map cards are turned up in the same manner as the Mission cards and at the same time. Each Map card indicates what map the PUGs will be playing on and will modify their chances of success. Map cards can make or break a team since small maps have fewer enemies and are therefore easier to complete. Get three or four large maps in a row and your team may very well be depleted before the last mission.
The last stack of 37 remaining cards are the Mob cards. These indicate who your heroes will be fighting in each of the missions. Mob cards are dealt according to the parameters described by the Mission and Map cards. Not all Mob cards may be used during the missions.
City of Horoscopes
So I was letting my mind wander while driving today and it occurred to me that there were 12 Astrological Signs and currently 12 Archetypes (counting the HEATs and VEATs as one each). So, I decided to do a little research and see if there were deeper similarities other than quantity.
What follows is your City Of Heroes Astrological Sign. I took the basic Personality Profile from an astrology web site for each sign and modified it only slightly for use with the City system. Plus, of course, my own color add-ons
Scrapper (March 21st to April 20th)
The Scrapper person seeks adventure and has unusually high energy level. Pioneering, the Scrapper will be the first to take a risk, much to the general chagrin of his team members.
The Scrapper is considered by their peers to be a courageous leader, not afraid to take risks, will often feel confident that They know better. Scrappers lead by example or by simply charging head long into a brawl. Scrappers always seem to have a quick grasp of the essence of most any situation, BUT a Scrapper does not often hang around to closely examine the details. Actually, getting a Scrapper to hang around at all usually involves cement and lots of duct tape. However, give a Scrapper a cause, or a good reason to fight something, and you will find this dynamic personality rises to the cause.
Scrapper is also a very dynamic person and can easily draw attention to themselves when they enter a room (Referred to as Aggro). Make no mistake, a Scrapper will be one of the first to risk their life to save yours, and also the first to get really mad at you for putting yourself at risk in the first place! (eg- Kill Stealing)
Tank (April 21st to May 20th)
The Tank tends to be one who is steadfast and passionate, however tempered with commitment. They often portray themselves as being charming and possession of stardom handsomeness.
The Tank shows and affinity for security and constantly in search of ways to become emotionally content. Usually by heavy investment in Stamina and endurance reduction enhancements. A major goal of Tanks has stability high on their list of importance. Although bullish by nature, they tend to tread slowly (especially stone tanks) and with serenity (stone tanks with teleport). Security and emotional commitment are of the utmost priority for them; PUGS generally give them heebie-jeebies while SG groups are like a warm cup of cocoa on a cold morning. Their need to exist with a secure framework, requires enormous patience (especially prior to inherent fitness.) The painstaking, deliberate journey to accomplishing this is actually what a Tank is all about.
Peacebringer/Warshade (May 21st to June 21st)
Adaptable to most any situation, with PBWS you will discover them to be one of the most flexible people (squids) youve ever met. The PBWS are known for their ability to overcome great obstacles (Void Hunters) and are adept puzzle solvers.
Articulate, versatile and inquisitive (and delightful with tartar sauce). Having an intellectual type of personality, magnetic upon first impression. Well liked by most people they encounter, they are natural communicators, lively and entertaining and quite the romantic (just think how many tentacle movies there are!) Renowned for the dual personalities (and forms), their moods (and forms) can change from moment to moment. Sometimes they will argue just for the same of arguing and can be somewhat fickle at times.
Defender (June 22nd to July 22nd)
Emotional sometimes, Defender people tend to be some of the more caring people in our world. They are very loving and value family and friends (and PUGs) over fame or fortune. They are capable of feeling your pain whether it be physical, financial or emotional. (Especially Empaths who take Share Pain).
Extremely intuitive and imaginative, these people make great artists and designers. You will find them where ever there is the need for creativity and flare (and buffs). Freedom loving, courageous and pioneering. Loves adventure, is self-assertive and has an abundance of energy (especially if they only buff/debuff and dont blast much). Can be very enterprising and will work from sun up to sun down (especially to keep that disorganized PUG alive). He is generally forceful by nature and very direct. (Stop killing my f***ing anchors you noobs!)
Not a risk taker, the Defender is not likely to betting the farm on a not so well thought out venture. Rest assured this wise person will be checking out all the angles before plunging in to anything. (And will most likely be the last one standing after the team wipe, rolling up his sleeves and TP-rezzing everyone.)
Emperor Cole Twitter Suggestions
(Someone... can't remember who... asked me in PM for some twitters that Emperor Cole might send... this was my response...)
Ive never tweeted and never subscribed to someone elses tweets Generally, birds tick me off... always crapping on your car after you wash it picking up that nice shiny object that I OBVIOUSLY saw first!
Huh? Oh sorry tangent
Anyway, although I never got into the whole Twitter thing, I gather that these comments are supposed to sound off-the-cuff and current. Man, I wish the whole world could see this before I flush it sort of thing.
Heres a few that popped into my head. If you want any more just let me know.
~ I wish I could make Tom Pettys Its Good To Be King the national anthem Damned nursery rhyme.
~ I cut myself shaving this morning. HA! Just kidding . As if .
~ Id ask you how your day is, but I know its fantastic since its against the law to have a bad day in utopian Praetoria.
~ I had that dream again. The one where I go to fight Hamidon and realize I forgot to put on my pants.
~ I have a leak to plug. Someone blabbed about the Invasion. Cant figure out why the Prime-Times call it Issue 19 though.
~ Would you believe, after all these years, Im STILL finding bits of Hamidon Goo in various cracks and crevices of my anatomy?
~ I know some of you out there are Resistance Sympathizers; but at least when I talk you know what the hell Im saying!
~ I would like to categorically deny recent Resistance propaganda stating that I made inquiries into a more lifelike female clockwork automaton.
~ Coca Cole-Aaahhhhhh . What do you think? Has a nice ring to it, doesnt it?
~ Sometimes I regret destroying Hamidon. I should have kept him in a cage and fed him those pesky Resistance fighters.
~ Hmmm Its a Sonic Fence, right? I wonder if we could broadcast WCOLE radio through it?
~ I flat-out deny allegations that I ship 20th level Praetorians off-world because I feel threatened by them. They VOLUNTEER to leave!
In Game Quotes I'd Love to See
What are the quotes youd love to see in game? Here are a few of mine
Rikti TikkiTavi - Snakes: Whyd it have to be?
Rikti Martin De Loca: La Vie: Living
Doom Crier Interview
Steelclaw Studios Interviewer: Thank you for tuning in this week well be interviewing that commonality of gaming forums that prognosticator of pessimism writer and publisher of the Doomcriers Bible Doomcrier. Thank you so much for agreeing to speak with us today.
Doomcrier: I wouldnt have but I was SURE Id get in a car accident on the way and get out of the dad-blamed thing.
SSI: I see well glad to see you made it safely
DC: That makes one of us anyway.
SSI: Right. Anyway We wanted to talk to you because of the sheer volume of doom-crying going on in the forums right now. Between the Incarnation Trials and the upcoming Freedom changes, the player base seems to be in an uproar not seen since before the Going Rogue announcement.
DC: (sniffles) Yeah its downright beautiful, aint it?
Top Ten Lists That Didn't Quite Reach Ten
Top Ten Ways the Game Influences Office Life at Paragon Studios
1) Year end bonuses are paid in Reward Merits.
2) Entering your cubicle earns you the Jail Bird exploration badge.
3)
Top Ten Things That Happened at the 7 Year Anniversary Office Party
1) Avatea riding on Positrons shoulders calling him her Nemesis Pony.
2) Noble Savage showing his joke picture of the marketing department as a bunch of Nemesis soldiers and having it approved for next issues task force.
3) A tipsy El Topo gets sick in the bosss chair and claims it was a failed Environmental Art experiment.
4) War Witch, with the help of a fluorescent yellow hi-lighter, tries to make her hair resemble her in-game avatar.
Top Ten List of Yet-To-Be-Released CoH T-Shirt Logos
1) WWLTMD (What Would Lanaru the Mad Do?)
2) The Praetorians Invaded the World! And all I got was this lousy t-shirt.
3) St Martial Pawn Shops: We pay top dollar for body parts!
4) Dont Laugh; this t-shirt won me an Atlas Park costume contest.
Weak Links in the Chain of Logic
If the technology is there, why do only heroes get hospital teleporters? Why shouldnt civilians get them too?
If nothing else it would royally tick off the Vahzilok .
These legs will be perfect for my next creatio What the..? Aww come on!!
Speaking of which If all civilians are basically immune to any harm is the Vahzilok kneeling by the prone civilian tossing organs around haphazardly or has he got so frustrated with the victims immunity to his scalpel that hes started trying to beat the organs out of him?
According to the official description; Praetoria is the ultimate Meritocracy. Which means you are allowed to do any job you like so long as you prove to be competent at it.
Wow Politicians must avoid Praetoria like the plague.
If we ever get free moving hair will electrical attacks make our hair stand on end? And if it does, what does that mean for characters with Electrical Armor?
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Yeah... I guess there was a REASON they were never finished...
My mind wanders so often you've probably seen its picture on milk cartons. - Me... the first person version of the third person Steelclaw