CoVaudeville Act 2: Posi & Synapse

WARNING: The following act, like most Vaudeville comedy dialogs, contains innuendos of a slightly more mature nature. I'm not entirely sure if this out-right violates the Teen Rating or not since nothing is said directly, merely implied. However, if you are offended by such things I suggest skipping this one. Thank you, the Management. (I'm sure the Mods will let me know if I crossed a line soon enough.)

Positron: Good evening ladies and gentleman and welcome to our show... My name is Positron and this is my partner Synapse... say hello Synapse...

Synapse: So... you and Numina, huh?

Posi: Oh for the love of... you don't waste any time, do you?

Synapse: My sense of timing is immaterial... and speaking of immaterial...

Posi: Very funny... Why don't we leave her physical state out of this?

Synapse: We don't have any CHOICE but to leave her physical state out of it... but I have to say you, my friend, are a lucky man...

Posi: Yes, I am...

Synapse: After all... you're the only guy in the free world who can tell his girl "I don't love you just for your body" and have her actually believe him...

Posi: Do you suppose we could talk about something else?

Synapse: So when you guys decide to get intimate do you sit at a pottery wheel with her hovering behind you?

Posi: Synapse!

Synapse: Does she make you call her Patrick?

Posi: That's enough... How would you feel if I talked about your little romantic misadventures?

Synapse: You got nothin'... My record's clean as Hamidon's dinner plate...

Posi: Yeah, right... You forget I've talked with some of your ex-girlfriends... that last one had an interesting story to tell...

Synapse: Hey now... that wasn't my fault... I was a little drunk... so my aim was off...

Posi: She said it happened so fast it was over before she realized...

Synapse: Enough!

Posi: Isn't that illegal in several states?

Synapse: Positron... ENOUGH!

Posi: I wonder if that sort of thing will move you towards Vigilante?

Synapse: That's it... I'm leaving...

Posi: And I haven't even mentioned what the lady superheroes say about your flirting...

Synapse: I'm back... so ummm.... heh... they talk about me, huh?

Posi: Oh, yes... Lots... Mynx said you've hit on her enough times to last her the next five of her nine lives...

Synapse: What? No... No... I was just joking with her... she has that vicious streak.. no sense of humor...

Posi: Liberty said if you approach her one more time for "training advice" while wearing mirrors on the tops of your shoes she's going to kill you...

Synapse: ONCE! I only did that ONE time!

Posi: Apparently once was enough... I'm told Manticore has a special super-sonic, jet-propelled, electrical impulse seeking arrow with your name on it...

Synapse: Hey, wait a second... I have NEVER flirted or been inappropriate with Sister Psyche!

Posi: Well, you know Manti likes being prepared for eventualities... Speaking of which... If I were you I'd really try to control your thoughts around Swan...

Synapse (apprehensive and evasive): Swan? Er... I have no idea what you're talking about...

Posi: Well... she said if she hears the word "Molting" in your thoughts one more time she's going to make you think you're a four year old little girl with severe ADHD and a predisposition for My Little Pony.

Synapse: Some people have no sense of humor...

Posi: Now, I can handle all the others but... Synapse... you hit on Luminary? Really?

Synapse: I did no such thing! She's a machine... What makes you think I flirted with her?

Posi: Did you or did you not ask her if overclocking her processor would get her hot? And did you or did you not follow up with questions about her hardware/software interface, maximum RAM tolerances and which I/O port configurations she prefered?

Synapse: I'm a scientist... they were legitimate scientific questions! That's it... I'm out of here... good night everyone... I'm sorry to leave early but I have a hot date tonight...

Posi: If she isn't hot now she will be later... Being a scientist you'd think you'd remember the thermo-dynamic principles of friction... or at least realize what's going on when the smell of burning rubber fills the room...

Synapse: GoodNIGHT Positron... (he growls and sprints from the stage)

Posi: Heh, I haven't had that much fun in years...

Announcer's Voice Over Intercom: Mister Positron? Sorry to interrupt your show, but I have a Dark Respite here wanting to discuss your recent romance choices with you...

Posi: Synapse! WAIT FOR ME!

That was great. Now everyone is my office is looking at me. LOL

*whistles and applause*

My, my, my... aren't they just the naughty boys?

*smirks* As if Posi should be complaining when he scores with a hot Russian scientist. Even if it does inadvertently lead to them having an accident in the lab...

Yeah, you're skating pretty close to the line on some of those, but they're still amusing as hell.

(BTW, Synapse is actually an accountant, according to quasi-canon... but I'm sure you could have come up with equally risque innuendos for working with aggressive takeovers and benefits negotations... etc etc etc)

Michelle
aka
Samuraiko/Dark_Respite

o.0

There's only one of me.