Arc 519044: Grunty McFisterson's Two Step Guide to Winning Respect

With the release of Freedom and the ability to buy as many story slots as I want, I'm pleased to present the story lovers of AE the first arc in my Twoflower Drives a Dump Truck of Money Up To Paragon Studios Front Door Initiative!

STEP ONE: Find someone strong. STEP TWO: FIST! It's as easy as that. But finding the right enemies to beat into hamburger patties, ones that'll earn you the respect you deserve, that's tricky. So, let Old Grunty set you up!

With his help, you'll be pounding local gang lords into the dirt, taking down heroes, and making sure everybody knows you're on the rise in the Rogue Isles. Sometimes, violence is the problem AND the solution to the problem.

This is a very simple, lighthearted villainous romp, intended for getting your path of malevolent glory off to a rocking start. It's appropriate solo or in teams.

(Although the arc is complete, I do welcome feedback to fine tune it!)

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COMING SOON as part of the Twoflower Drives a Dump Truck of Money Up To Paragon Studios Front Door Initiative...

• The Copy-Paste Heroine Scenario (Hero Dramedy Arc 40-50)
• Life and Limb (Hero Drama Arc 20-30)
• The Do-It-Yourself Crime Syndicate Project (Villain Drama 1-15)
• The Do-It-Yourself Weather Dominator Project (Villain Dramedy 30-33)
• New Ragnarok City (Hero Incarnate Arc)

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Don't forget these other great arcs already in the system:

• Crime is Art and Art is Crime (#517859) (New!)
• An Internship in the Fine Art of Revenge (Best Villain Arc '09) (#255146)
• The Do-It-Yourself Laser Moonbase Project (Dev Choice!) (#1931)
• The Do-It-Yourself Casino Heist Project (#404549)
• The Do-It-Yourself Doom Army Project (#410418)
• The Household Chores of the Damned (#4562)
• The Hydroponic Psychotropic Freak Out! (#1960)
• The Best of The Rest of What's Left (#2539)
• Behind the Smiling Spark of Madness (#255144)
• Zero of the Day (#341250)

Step 3: Profit?

Okay, version 2 of the arc is now up.

Changes:

* Typo fixes.
* Unnamed goals given names.
* Renamed the bigbadboss of the arc to something simpler (joke was too obsure).
* Added optional clues to hint at what's going on in M1/M2.
* Added lots of optional opportunities for villainy in M3!

Fixes coming to my Artcrime arc next, and then, a new arc published!

Mission 1:
Love the name "St Elmo's Fire" for a Hellion boss. I really think his dialog should incorporate some of the lyrics from "St Elmo's Fire"; can't you see him saying something like "I can see a new horizon, underneath the blazing sky"?

Elmo is portrayed as being rather nerdy and even his own men don't seem to respect him that much. Seems to diminish the idea that beating him up will enhance my reputation. Consider having the player catch Elmo during or just after some sort of criminal act, like robbing a bank? Then the player could beat up Elmo and abscond with the loot. I guess the mission does portray Elmo having stolen some school books, but beating up Elmo and taking his school books doesn't quite have the same excitement level.

In the debriefing, Grunty refers to me as "Johnny No-Name" which seems contrary to the idea that he is promoting my reputation. Also "reptuation" (sic) is spelled wrong.


Mission 2:
"redheaded criminal stepchildren" doesn't really work as a description of the Skulls. I don't think I've *ever* seen a redheaded Skull. Needs a more appropriate colorful term here, like "death-worshipping thugs" or something.

Found a Longbow minion guarding some rocks, apparently continuing the Longbow subplot from the previous mission. I sorta like the extra Longbow details because they give the missions more items of interest, but so far this subplot feels a little underdeveloped. How did Officer Dusty know I was coming here, anyway? No one but Grunty and I knew my next target. Is Grunty betraying me?

I like that the Skulls ambush have dialog where they recognize my name from my previous exploits. Finally, some recognition!

I like how Mydnyte is characterized as an overly melodramatic goth kid. That kinda works for me. But does beating up a depressed girl like this really garner me additional respect? Oh well, let's go with that for now.


Mission 3:
So Grunty reveals he sent me to beat up his kids to teach them a lesson. Considering this is a villainous arc, this seems extremely poor parenting -- the player could be an axe murderer or a killbot with spinning razor blades for arms, who "beats up" people by killing them dead.

Considering Grunty has just admitted that he deceived me and used me, why should I accept his mission at this point? Arguably, the next mission should involve killing off Grunty to further enhance my reputation, since a villain of my standing should not let people get away with "playing" me.

I'm not sure I follow how Longbow managed to capture Elmo and Mydnyte; *I* was the one who killed/defeated them, after all. It's also a pretty big stretch for Longbow to believe that I will rescue Elmo and Mydnyte, considering I mercilessly beat them up recently.

Mission entry popup: "Miss Liberty" should be "Ms Liberty" (Miss Liberty is actually a different hero entirely).

The story sometimes refers to Officer Dusty, sometimes to Officer Finish. I guess her full name is Dusty Finish, but for the sake of consistency, choose one usage and stick with it.

Both Mydnyte and Elmo have some dialog showing that they're straightening out after being beat up, then rescued by me. This seems like it would ruin my rep as an up and coming villain!

Found Officer Dusty and beat her up again. She did not do anything different than the last encounter where I also beat her up, which makes this a rather poorly planned trap. Considering she knows I can beat her in a fair fight already (from mission 1), I really think she needs an ambush, a secret weapon, a suit of powered armor, or some other leverage that makes her think this fight will go her way.

Found the Enchanted Weapons objective, but up to this point no one has used enchanted weapons and they haven't been connected to the story in any way, so this mission detail really feels out of place. Try to tie it to the story better, or else replace it with some kind of mission dressing that better fits the story.


Overall:
Interesting premise. Fun villains (really liked the names). I don't think the plot of the story really works as written, though; the motivations don't quite work. It doesn't seem to make sense for Grunty to send an ex-con from the Zig to beat sense into his children, considering there's probably a 50% chance that I'm a serial killer who will permanently snuff his kids in the process.

Once it's revealed that Grunty was just using me, it doesn't make sense that I would help him "out of the goodness of my heart"; since I'm a villain, it would make more sense for me to kill him -- *especially* if my major motivation is improving my reputation.

I felt Officer Dusty's antagonism towards the player was not sufficiently developed; arguably I defeated only bad guys in missions 1 and 2, so why is Longbow targeting me specifically? And considering *I* beat up Mydnyte and Elmo, why do they think I would care enough about them to rescue them?

Possibly these plot problems could be excused in the name of comedy, but if you want to go that route, I think the arc needs to be more funny. The name "St Elmo's Fire" was funny, and goth girl's characterization was funny, but I think you need more jokes or humorous situations to really make it comedic.

Hope that helps!