Feedback for arc

From my old Protector buddies..... if possible would like for you to read the fanfiction chapters first (in sig line), but either way love for you to give it a run through. Trying to get it to a final state so I can continue with Chapter 2 (working) I have found that the AE is a bit limited, but any critique would be most welcome. The more detailed thefeedback the better Recommend to run it at +4 and with a solid team to experience the AVs.



Arc Name: Meus Profiteor Chapter One The Master and the Student Part One
Arc ID: 509534
Faction: Romans (XIV Legion) , CoT, Cimerorans (VII Legion) Contains unique units with individual bios.
Creator Global/Forum Name: @theoriginalwarface
Difficulty Level: Difficult (Most fun for lev 50 teams running +4) Avs present
Synopsis: "My Confession" is a discovery story centered on the W.A.R.F.A.C.E. project (see blue king comics issue 9 in back(hard copy not digital). This history takes time travelers to 10 B.C.E. during the Mu-CoT and Cimeroran/Roman wars until the year 2004 when the W.A.R.F.A.C.E. cyborg first emerges from the ruins of the ARACHNOS facility F.U.S.I.O.N. The "Black Tome" buried within history holds dark secrets about the immortal Cyborg W.A.R.F.A.C.E. and his role in upcoming events. This Arc only touches on chapter 1 and follows the Meus Profiteor story line in my signature.
Estimated Time to Play: 1 hour
Link to More Details or Feedback: Warface1978@yahoo.com Chapter 2 is working and will transport our time travelers to Ornabega during the Mu-CoT war and Chapter 3 will take you into the Dark Ages of Brittan.
Supergroup: Earthclan Elite

Let's see...

Let me get this out of the way first: Great story. It's mostly well written and reads well. It could have used some indentation or breaks between subjects, because it suffers from looking like one long string of text with only brief pauses at each punctuation mark, but it's an interesting tale, nonetheless.

First mission...
I don't understand why all of the enemies have to be level 54. Seems somewhat unjustified to me.

Plus, I also have to fight a Level 54 Elite Boss (probably an Arch Villain)...

And scour the crags of the Cimeroran Mountain for the last of the invaders...

Not exactly a good opening. At least the map was small, and I was using my Incarnated and IO'd Out character. If I hadn't, though, I can't imagine getting through this without a team.

Also, this is my game lore bug biting, but you make references to the "CoT." Despite the fact that in the game's storyline, they were long-since dead, the Circle originally called itself the Oranbegans in reference to their magical nation City, Oranbega.

Mission 2...

Level 54 enemies again. THESE Romans and Germans must have eaten their Wheaties! They're able to stand up STRONG against any and all super-powered beings who come to face them!

Now I have to fight TWO Elite Bosses (likely Arch Villains). At least I've got General Imperious's help...

General Nonious is an interesting challenge as a Broadsword/Shield Scrapper.

General Igneous might need some help to make him tougher, though. I could have mopped the floor with him without Imperious's help. Mostly did, too. I like that you don't have Imperious set as an aggressive ally (or at least, he didn't act like he was).

Lore Bug: You've got Imperious as a General fighting as your ally, but asking for your help to "beat back the Roman dogs." In the game's lore, Imperious is the last Roman Emperor. His fighting them doesn't make sense.

Mission 3...

Pretty quick. Not sure if you intended the objective to spawn right in front of me, but it did. Went in, fought the people holding the guy and ran for the exit. Done.

Opening text was a bit bothersome in the respect that you're still referring to the group as the CoT. Ignoring the breach of canon, when telling a story like this, it would help the reader if you didn't refer to a group outside of the targeting reticle by the abbreviation and by their actual term as Circle of Thorns. And if they're not supposed to be the Circle of Thorns, then what is CoT supposed to stand for? Referring to them repeatedly as CoT is just going to confuse the player if they're supposed to be something else.

Mission 4...

Level 54 Circle of Thorns. Apparently, the Well of the Furies has leaked into their drinking water.

Lore Bug: You've got Akarist betraying/abandoning the Oranbegans here... He didn't actually do that until the 2000s.

Also, as the mission ended, I was attacked by Void Hunters. Don't know if that was planned or if it's something coded into the map. If they were supposed to be there, there was nothing to explain why Void Hunters would show up. If they weren't supposed to be there, I'm going to chalk that one up as another shortcoming of the Architect system.

----------------------

Now, I'm not one to shirk a challenge, and this certainly was one. However, I prefer to have a REASON behind my challenge, and I didn't see any reason for these enemies to be ranked so far above character level.

I liked the named bosses and how they worked. They looked like they belonged. I strongly hope they weren't set as Arch Villains, though. In the Imperious Task Force, the various generals never get above Elite Boss ranking, so it wouldn't make much sense for these juggernauts to be higher ranked. Still, I guess it would also make as much sense as all of them running around as if they've been slaughing back Steroidihol.

So, there's my feedback. If I were to ignore the lore behind it, I would say it was a very satisfying Challenge Arc, even if it is an origin story for your character.

Sorry couldn't get past Alois in the first mission. Tried with Nylonus (fire/fire blaster) solo and well these were the results:

ALOIS Swoops you with their Battle Axe for 801.6 points of Lethal damage!
It's OK I can walk it off.

ALOIS Chops you with their Battle Axe for 576.59 points of Lethal damage!
Oh I'll be feeling that one in the morning.

ALOIS Gashes you with their Battle Axe for 351.57 points of Lethal damage!
Oh sweet dirt of Cimerora how warm is thy embrace.

And this is with the 2 other EB helpers. The 3 of us should have been able to take Alois with no problem, but sadly this wasn't the case.

Maybe I can make a Meus Lite version separate. Cant individuals though change their difficulty settings before they go in the mission?


Ya the Germans took care of the "Real" Nineteenth......Germans were nuts!

OK I had much much better results on my 2nd try with Nylonus. I lowered the difficulty to -1, No AVs. Which seemed to work well. Good stroy, great maps. Nice ending, though I would like to discuss where that plot line is going. Won't give any spoilers here so I will send you a PM. Can tell that a lot of time and effort went into this, and is one of the better AE arcs out there. Glad that I was able to run the arc solo, as there is a good story and lots of text that draws you in.

Now on to the nit picky stuff. . .

Chapter 1. Pt. 2. "(Tarixus voice changes. . .) (Tarixus rouses back.)" you might want to change the color of the text here so the reader knows that it is not Tarixus. Not sure if you have the space for the font txt color change or not.

Another detail I noticed was the wolf head emblem on the shield of the Legio VII foes. The historical emblem of this particluar Legion was the bull. Though I think you may have used the wolf head as a representation of the she wolf that nurtured Romulus & Remus. I am also not even sure if we can even edit emblems on the shields in the AE or not. This is such a minor detail that the majority of players might not notice or care. Or maybe they stole the shields from their brothers in Legio VI.

One of the NPCs says "Noooo Ceaser will return with his armies. <br>" Yup the <br> is in the NPC dialog box. So you might want to edit the "<br>" out.

On the mission exit pop up box when you return to the AE building it reads. "Lets get you back to Atlas and get ready for the next step." - I was in P.I.

Charpter 1. Pt. 3.
In the Tarixus dialogue you mention the XIV legion and then the 7th legion in the same sentence. Not sure about the switch from Roman Numerals to Arabic numbers, seemed odd when reading it.

Chapter 1. Pt. 4.
In the Tarixus (AE contact text) you mention "Spanish wine". A more accurate choice might be Hispanus (adj of Hispania - Spain). Or "wine from Hispania." as that is what the region was known as in 1st. century. Did I mention I was being nit picky?

These are just little things that I noticed and it did not effect the rating of the arc.
Anyway going to play this again. This time on my Warshade Varus. He has particular interest in the events of this time peroid.

I agree on the color!! I tried, but for some reason it shows up like it works in the editor but not when the mission begins. I dont know how to fix

Other points great points I will fix this weekend. Not sure if there is a bull or not but Ill look!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nylonus OK I had much much better results on my 2nd try with Nylonus. I lowered the difficulty to -1, No AVs. Which seemed to work well. Good stroy, great maps. Nice ending, though I would like to discuss where that plot line is going. Won't give any spoilers here so I will send you a PM. Can tell that a lot of time and effort went into this, and is one of the better AE arcs out there. Glad that I was able to run the arc solo, as there is a good story and lots of text that draws you in. Now on to the nit picky stuff. . . Chapter 1. Pt. 2. "(Tarixus voice changes. . .) (Tarixus rouses back.)" you might want to change the color of the text here so the reader knows that it is not Tarixus. Not sure if you have the space for the font txt color change or not. Another detail I noticed was the wolf head emblem on the shield of the Legio VII foes. The historical emblem of this particluar Legion was the bull. Though I think you may have used the wolf head as a representation of the she wolf that nurtured Romulus & Remus. I am also not even sure if we can even edit emblems on the shields in the AE or not. This is such a minor detail that the majority of players might not notice or care. Or maybe they stole the shields from their brothers in Legio VI. One of the NPCs says "Noooo Ceaser will return with his armies. <br>" Yup the <br> is in the NPC dialog box. So you might want to edit the "<br>" out. On the mission exit pop up box when you return to the AE building it reads. "Lets get you back to Atlas and get ready for the next step." - I was in P.I. Charpter 1. Pt. 3. In the Tarixus dialogue you mention the XIV legion and then the 7th legion in the same sentence. Not sure about the switch from Roman Numerals to Arabic numbers, seemed odd when reading it. Chapter 1. Pt. 4. In the Tarixus (AE contact text) you mention "Spanish wine". A more accurate choice might be Hispanus (adj of Hispania - Spain). Or "wine from Hispania." as that is what the region was known as in 1st. century. Did I mention I was being nit picky? These are just little things that I noticed and it did not effect the rating of the arc. Anyway going to play this again. This time on my Warshade Varus. He has particular interest in the events of this time peroid.