A Spring Fling Conversation in Pocket D

DJ Zero: All right everyone, step right up! Spring Fling is here and we're ready to pass out badges! I need a villain and a hero to form a team and we can get this party started!

Zero Divide: Ummm... I'd like to get those badges...

DJ Zero: Great! Hero or villain?

Zero Divide: Vigilante.

DJ Zero: Say what now?

Zero Divide: I'm not a hero or a villain; I'm a vigilante.

DJ Zero: You'll have to excuse me but I've been bobbing up and down for so long it must have loosened by brainstem... what the hell is a vigilante?

Zero Divide: A vigilante is a hero who has started behaving sorta naughty so they're slowly making their way towards villain. Kinda like Hero-Lite or something like that.

DJ Zero: Hero-Lite... Sure... Why not? Ummm... well hell, I don't know. I guess a vigilante would make half a hero.. so if you and another vigilante could team up with a villain that would work.

Zero Divide: There aren't any villains around right now, but there is a hero and a rogue.

DJ Zero: Rogues? Lemme guess...

Zero Divide: Diet Villain.

DJ Zero: Thank you... I was afraid you were going to make another soft drink/Zero pun and call them Villain Zero or something like that... Uh, well.. let's see... half a villain and a hero and half a hero... hmmm... carry the one... that gives us 1 1/2 heroes and half a villain... nope... not good enough.

Zero Divide: Yeah, but I'm not JUST half a hero... I'm also at least partly villain because I'm working towards that ultimate end.

DJ Zero: Oh for the love of... okay... let's say 1/2 hero and 1/4 villain for you and 1/2 villain and 1/4 hero for the rouge...

Zero Divide: Rogue.

DJ Zero: No, around here it's more likely rouge than rogue.. trust me... Okay so we have Vigilante at half hero quarter villain and Rogue and quarter hero and half villain and a full hero... argh... I HATE fractions... anyone got a freakin' calculator?

Zero Divide: Hey, wait a second.. you said I was half hero and quarter villain... that's only three-quarters... what's the other 25% of me?

DJ Zero: Do you REALLY want me to answer that question?

Zero Divide: Hmmm... probably not... I withdraw it.

DJ Zero: Wise man. Listen, to heck with it... you have three different alignments and that more than satisfies the spirit of the intent of this whole mixed mission thing... just make your team and go on in...

Zero Divide: Hey! Thanks!

DJ Zero: I swear... spend a little time doing mushrooms from that Zarcon-3 dimension and the Devs sneak one past you every time. Ah! More customers! Welcome to Spring Fling! I see you have a two man team, are you villains, heroes, vigilantes or rouges?

Zeronian: I thought they were rogues.

DJ Zero: Just answer the freaking question.

Zeronian: None of 'em... We're from Praetoria so we don't really HAVE alignments. We can be Loyalists or Resistance members but we're all basically neutral... we don't actually get an alignment until we hit 20th level.

DJ Zero: Of course you don't! Perfect.... FINE! That's it... I'm checking out for a while... can I interest either of you fine gentleman in some mushrooms from Zarcon-3?

Zarcon-3 has the best damn mushrooms.

The Praetorian versions of the missions will be slightly different.

The Resistance mission will need a Loyalist to open and drink a can of Enriche.

The Loyalist will need a Resistance member to set off a nuke and kill everybody in Pocket D.